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diff --git a/data/samples/minimal/don_quixote.miguel_de_cervantes.sst b/data/samples/minimal/don_quixote.miguel_de_cervantes.sst new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a41039f --- /dev/null +++ b/data/samples/minimal/don_quixote.miguel_de_cervantes.sst @@ -0,0 +1,38674 @@ +% SiSU 4.0 + +@title: Don Quixote + +@creator: + :author: de Cervantes [Saavedra], Miguel + :translator: John Ormsby + +@language: + :document: English + :original: Spanish + +@classify: + :type: Book + :topic_register: SiSU:markup sample:book;book:novel:classical|farce|parody|satire|psychological novel;Spanish:original text;original text language:Spanish;study:literature:classical|english language + +% @rights: + +@date: + :published: 1615 + :created: 1605 + :issued: 1605 + :available: 1605 + :modified: 1615 + :added_to_site: 2004-04-12 + +@links: + { Don Quixote @ SiSU }http://www.jus.uio.no/sisu/don_quixote.miguel_de_cervantes + { @ Wikipedia }http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_quixote + { Syntax }http://www.jus.uio.no/sisu/sample/syntax/don_quixote.miguel_de_cervantes.sst.html + +@make: + :headings: none; PART; VOLUME; Chapter; + :breaks: new=:C; break=1 + +% SiSU: http://www.jus.uio.no/sisu +% SiSU markup for 0.16 and later, header 0~links 0.20.4. may drop image dimensions (rmagick) 0.22.0, utf-8 (save as utf-8, with Unix line endings) 0.23.0 ß +% SiSU markup: http://www.jus.uio.no/sisu/sample +% Output: http://www.jus.uio.no/sisu/don_quixote.miguel_de_cervantes + +:A~ @title @creator + +PART I. - +DON QUIXOTE Volume I. Complete by Miguel de Cervantes, translated by John Ormsby + +1~ Translator's Preface + +2~ I: About this Translation + +It was with considerable reluctance that I abandoned in favour of the +present undertaking what had long been a favourite project: that of a new +edition of Shelton's "Don Quixote," which has now become a somewhat +scarce book. There are some--and I confess myself to be one--for whom +Shelton's racy old version, with all its defects, has a charm that no +modern translation, however skilful or correct, could possess. Shelton +had the inestimable advantage of belonging to the same generation as +Cervantes; "Don Quixote" had to him a vitality that only a contemporary +could feel; it cost him no dramatic effort to see things as Cervantes saw +them; there is no anachronism in his language; he put the Spanish of +Cervantes into the English of Shakespeare. Shakespeare himself most +likely knew the book; he may have carried it home with him in his +saddle-bags to Stratford on one of his last journeys, and under the +mulberry tree at New Place joined hands with a kindred genius in its +pages. + +But it was soon made plain to me that to hope for even a moderate +popularity for Shelton was vain. His fine old crusted English would, no +doubt, be relished by a minority, but it would be only by a minority. His +warmest admirers must admit that he is not a satisfactory representative +of Cervantes. His translation of the First Part was very hastily made and +was never revised by him. It has all the freshness and vigour, but also a +full measure of the faults, of a hasty production. It is often very +literal--barbarously literal frequently--but just as often very loose. He +had evidently a good colloquial knowledge of Spanish, but apparently not +much more. It never seems to occur to him that the same translation of a +word will not suit in every case. + +It is often said that we have no satisfactory translation of "Don +Quixote." To those who are familiar with the original, it savours of +truism or platitude to say so, for in truth there can be no thoroughly +satisfactory translation of "Don Quixote" into English or any other +language. It is not that the Spanish idioms are so utterly unmanageable, +or that the untranslatable words, numerous enough no doubt, are so +superabundant, but rather that the sententious terseness to which the +humour of the book owes its flavour is peculiar to Spanish, and can at +best be only distantly imitated in any other tongue. + +The history of our English translations of "Don Quixote" is instructive. +Shelton's, the first in any language, was made, apparently, about 1608, +but not published till 1612. This of course was only the First Part. It +has been asserted that the Second, published in 1620, is not the work of +Shelton, but there is nothing to support the assertion save the fact that +it has less spirit, less of what we generally understand by "go," about +it than the first, which would be only natural if the first were the work +of a young man writing currente calamo, and the second that of a +middle-aged man writing for a bookseller. On the other hand, it is closer +and more literal, the style is the same, the very same translations, or +mistranslations, occur in it, and it is extremely unlikely that a new +translator would, by suppressing his name, have allowed Shelton to carry +off the credit. + +In 1687 John Phillips, Milton's nephew, produced a "Don Quixote" "made +English," he says, "according to the humour of our modern language." His +"Quixote" is not so much a translation as a travesty, and a travesty that +for coarseness, vulgarity, and buffoonery is almost unexampled even in +the literature of that day. + +Ned Ward's "Life and Notable Adventures of Don Quixote, merrily +translated into Hudibrastic Verse" (1700), can scarcely be reckoned a +translation, but it serves to show the light in which "Don Quixote" was +regarded at the time. + +A further illustration may be found in the version published in 1712 by +Peter Motteux, who had then recently combined tea-dealing with +literature. It is described as "translated from the original by several +hands," but if so all Spanish flavour has entirely evaporated under the +manipulation of the several hands. The flavour that it has, on the other +hand, is distinctly Franco-cockney. Anyone who compares it carefully with +the original will have little doubt that it is a concoction from Shelton +and the French of Filleau de Saint Martin, eked out by borrowings from +Phillips, whose mode of treatment it adopts. It is, to be sure, more +decent and decorous, but it treats "Don Quixote" in the same fashion as a +comic book that cannot be made too comic. + +To attempt to improve the humour of "Don Quixote" by an infusion of +cockney flippancy and facetiousness, as Motteux's operators did, is not +merely an impertinence like larding a sirloin of prize beef, but an +absolute falsification of the spirit of the book, and it is a proof of +the uncritical way in which "Don Quixote" is generally read that this +worse than worthless translation--worthless as failing to represent, +worse than worthless as misrepresenting--should have been favoured as it +has been. + +It had the effect, however, of bringing out a translation undertaken and +executed in a very different spirit, that of Charles Jervas, the portrait +painter, and friend of Pope, Swift, Arbuthnot, and Gay. Jervas has been +allowed little credit for his work, indeed it may be said none, for it is +known to the world in general as Jarvis's. It was not published until +after his death, and the printers gave the name according to the current +pronunciation of the day. It has been the most freely used and the most +freely abused of all the translations. It has seen far more editions than +any other, it is admitted on all hands to be by far the most faithful, +and yet nobody seems to have a good word to say for it or for its author. +Jervas no doubt prejudiced readers against himself in his preface, where +among many true words about Shelton, Stevens, and Motteux, he rashly and +unjustly charges Shelton with having translated not from the Spanish, but +from the Italian version of Franciosini, which did not appear until ten +years after Shelton's first volume. A suspicion of incompetence, too, +seems to have attached to him because he was by profession a painter and +a mediocre one (though he has given us the best portrait we have of +Swift), and this may have been strengthened by Pope's remark that he +"translated 'Don Quixote' without understanding Spanish." He has been +also charged with borrowing from Shelton, whom he disparaged. It is true +that in a few difficult or obscure passages he has followed Shelton, and +gone astray with him; but for one case of this sort, there are fifty +where he is right and Shelton wrong. As for Pope's dictum, anyone who +examines Jervas's version carefully, side by side with the original, will +see that he was a sound Spanish scholar, incomparably a better one than +Shelton, except perhaps in mere colloquial Spanish. He was, in fact, an +honest, faithful, and painstaking translator, and he has left a version +which, whatever its shortcomings may be, is singularly free from errors +and mistranslations. + +The charge against it is that it is stiff, dry--"wooden" in a word,-and +no one can deny that there is a foundation for it. But it may be pleaded +for Jervas that a good deal of this rigidity is due to his abhorrence of +the light, flippant, jocose style of his predecessors. He was one of the +few, very few, translators that have shown any apprehension of the +unsmiling gravity which is the essence of Quixotic humour; it seemed to +him a crime to bring Cervantes forward smirking and grinning at his own +good things, and to this may be attributed in a great measure the ascetic +abstinence from everything savouring of liveliness which is the +characteristic of his translation. In most modern editions, it should be +observed, his style has been smoothed and smartened, but without any +reference to the original Spanish, so that if he has been made to read +more agreeably he has also been robbed of his chief merit of fidelity. + +Smollett's version, published in 1755, may be almost counted as one of +these. At any rate it is plain that in its construction Jervas's +translation was very freely drawn upon, and very little or probably no +heed given to the original Spanish. + +The later translations may be dismissed in a few words. George Kelly's, +which appeared in 1769, "printed for the Translator," was an impudent +imposture, being nothing more than Motteux's version with a few of the +words, here and there, artfully transposed; Charles Wilmot's (1774) was +only an abridgment like Florian's, but not so skilfully executed; and the +version published by Miss Smirke in 1818, to accompany her brother's +plates, was merely a patchwork production made out of former +translations. On the latest, Mr. A. J. Duffield's, it would be in every +sense of the word impertinent in me to offer an opinion here. I had not +even seen it when the present undertaking was proposed to me, and since +then I may say vidi tantum, having for obvious reasons resisted the +temptation which Mr. Duffield's reputation and comely volumes hold out to +every lover of Cervantes. + +From the foregoing history of our translations of "Don Quixote," it will +be seen that there are a good many people who, provided they get the mere +narrative with its full complement of facts, incidents, and adventures +served up to them in a form that amuses them, care very little whether +that form is the one in which Cervantes originally shaped his ideas. On +the other hand, it is clear that there are many who desire to have not +merely the story he tells, but the story as he tells it, so far at least +as differences of idiom and circumstances permit, and who will give a +preference to the conscientious translator, even though he may have +acquitted himself somewhat awkwardly. + +But after all there is no real antagonism between the two classes; there +is no reason why what pleases the one should not please the other, or why +a translator who makes it his aim to treat "Don Quixote" with the respect +due to a great classic, should not be as acceptable even to the careless +reader as the one who treats it as a famous old jest-book. It is not a +question of caviare to the general, or, if it is, the fault rests with +him who makes so. The method by which Cervantes won the ear of the +Spanish people ought, mutatis mutandis, to be equally effective with the +great majority of English readers. At any rate, even if there are readers +to whom it is a matter of indifference, fidelity to the method is as much +a part of the translator's duty as fidelity to the matter. If he can +please all parties, so much the better; but his first duty is to those +who look to him for as faithful a representation of his author as it is +in his power to give them, faithful to the letter so long as fidelity is +practicable, faithful to the spirit so far as he can make it. + +My purpose here is not to dogmatise on the rules of translation, but to +indicate those I have followed, or at least tried to the best of my +ability to follow, in the present instance. One which, it seems to me, +cannot be too rigidly followed in translating "Don Quixote," is to avoid +everything that savours of affectation. The book itself is, indeed, in +one sense a protest against it, and no man abhorred it more than +Cervantes. For this reason, I think, any temptation to use antiquated or +obsolete language should be resisted. It is after all an affectation, and +one for which there is no warrant or excuse. Spanish has probably +undergone less change since the seventeenth century than any language in +Europe, and by far the greater and certainly the best part of "Don +Quixote" differs but little in language from the colloquial Spanish of +the present day. Except in the tales and Don Quixote's speeches, the +translator who uses the simplest and plainest everyday language will +almost always be the one who approaches nearest to the original. + +Seeing that the story of "Don Quixote" and all its characters and +incidents have now been for more than two centuries and a half familiar +as household words in English mouths, it seems to me that the old +familiar names and phrases should not be changed without good reason. Of +course a translator who holds that "Don Quixote" should receive the +treatment a great classic deserves, will feel himself bound by the +injunction laid upon the Morisco in Chap. IX not to omit or add anything. + +2~ II: About Cervantes and Don Quixote + +Four generations had laughed over "Don Quixote" before it occurred to +anyone to ask, who and what manner of man was this Miguel de Cervantes +Saavedra whose name is on the title-page; and it was too late for a +satisfactory answer to the question when it was proposed to add a life of +the author to the London edition published at Lord Carteret's instance in +1738. All traces of the personality of Cervantes had by that time +disappeared. Any floating traditions that may once have existed, +transmitted from men who had known him, had long since died out, and of +other record there was none; for the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries +were incurious as to "the men of the time," a reproach against which the +nineteenth has, at any rate, secured itself, if it has produced no +Shakespeare or Cervantes. All that Mayans y Siscar, to whom the task was +entrusted, or any of those who followed him, Rios, Pellicer, or +Navarrete, could do was to eke out the few allusions Cervantes makes to +himself in his various prefaces with such pieces of documentary evidence +bearing upon his life as they could find. + +This, however, has been done by the last-named biographer to such good +purpose that he has superseded all predecessors. Thoroughness is the +chief characteristic of Navarrete's work. Besides sifting, testing, and +methodising with rare patience and judgment what had been previously +brought to light, he left, as the saying is, no stone unturned under +which anything to illustrate his subject might possibly be found. +Navarrete has done all that industry and acumen could do, and it is no +fault of his if he has not given us what we want. What Hallam says of +Shakespeare may be applied to the almost parallel case of Cervantes: "It +is not the register of his baptism, or the draft of his will, or the +orthography of his name that we seek; no letter of his writing, no record +of his conversation, no character of him drawn ... by a contemporary has +been produced." + +It is only natural, therefore, that the biographers of Cervantes, forced +to make brick without straw, should have recourse largely to conjecture, +and that conjecture should in some instances come by degrees to take the +place of established fact. All that I propose to do here is to separate +what is matter of fact from what is matter of conjecture, and leave it to +the reader's judgment to decide whether the data justify the inference or +not. + +The men whose names by common consent stand in the front rank of Spanish +literature, Cervantes, Lope de Vega, Quevedo, Calderon, Garcilaso de la +Vega, the Mendozas, Gongora, were all men of ancient families, and, +curiously, all, except the last, of families that traced their origin to +the same mountain district in the North of Spain. The family of Cervantes +is commonly said to have been of Galician origin, and unquestionably it +was in possession of lands in Galicia at a very early date; but I think +the balance of the evidence tends to show that the "solar," the original +site of the family, was at Cervatos in the north-west corner of Old +Castile, close to the junction of Castile, Leon, and the Asturias. As it +happens, there is a complete history of the Cervantes family from the +tenth century down to the seventeenth extant under the title of +"Illustrious Ancestry, Glorious Deeds, and Noble Posterity of the Famous +Nuno Alfonso, Alcaide of Toledo," written in 1648 by the industrious +genealogist Rodrigo Mendez Silva, who availed himself of a manuscript +genealogy by Juan de Mena, the poet laureate and historiographer of John +II. + +The origin of the name Cervantes is curious. Nuno Alfonso was almost as +distinguished in the struggle against the Moors in the reign of Alfonso +VII as the Cid had been half a century before in that of Alfonso VI, and +was rewarded by divers grants of land in the neighbourhood of Toledo. On +one of his acquisitions, about two leagues from the city, he built +himself a castle which he called Cervatos, because "he was lord of the +solar of Cervatos in the Montana," as the mountain region extending from +the Basque Provinces to Leon was always called. At his death in battle in +1143, the castle passed by his will to his son Alfonso Munio, who, as +territorial or local surnames were then coming into vogue in place of the +simple patronymic, took the additional name of Cervatos. His eldest son +Pedro succeeded him in the possession of the castle, and followed his +example in adopting the name, an assumption at which the younger son, +Gonzalo, seems to have taken umbrage. + +Everyone who has paid even a flying visit to Toledo will remember the +ruined castle that crowns the hill above the spot where the bridge of +Alcantara spans the gorge of the Tagus, and with its broken outline and +crumbling walls makes such an admirable pendant to the square solid +Alcazar towering over the city roofs on the opposite side. It was built, +or as some say restored, by Alfonso VI shortly after his occupation of +Toledo in 1085, and called by him San Servando after a Spanish martyr, a +name subsequently modified into San Servan (in which form it appears in +the "Poem of the Cid"), San Servantes, and San Cervantes: with regard to +which last the "Handbook for Spain" warns its readers against the +supposition that it has anything to do with the author of "Don Quixote." +Ford, as all know who have taken him for a companion and counsellor on +the roads of Spain, is seldom wrong in matters of literature or history. +In this instance, however, he is in error. It has everything to do with +the author of "Don Quixote," for it is in fact these old walls that have +given to Spain the name she is proudest of to-day. Gonzalo, above +mentioned, it may be readily conceived, did not relish the appropriation +by his brother of a name to which he himself had an equal right, for +though nominally taken from the castle, it was in reality derived from +the ancient territorial possession of the family, and as a set-off, and +to distinguish himself (diferenciarse) from his brother, he took as a +surname the name of the castle on the bank of the Tagus, in the building +of which, according to a family tradition, his great-grandfather had a +share. + +Both brothers founded families. The Cervantes branch had more tenacity; +it sent offshoots in various directions, Andalusia, Estremadura, Galicia, +and Portugal, and produced a goodly line of men distinguished in the +service of Church and State. Gonzalo himself, and apparently a son of +his, followed Ferdinand III in the great campaign of 1236-48 that gave +Cordova and Seville to Christian Spain and penned up the Moors in the +kingdom of Granada, and his descendants intermarried with some of the +noblest families of the Peninsula and numbered among them soldiers, +magistrates, and Church dignitaries, including at least two +cardinal-archbishops. + +Of the line that settled in Andalusia, Deigo de Cervantes, Commander of +the Order of Santiago, married Juana Avellaneda, daughter of Juan Arias +de Saavedra, and had several sons, of whom one was Gonzalo Gomez, +Corregidor of Jerez and ancestor of the Mexican and Columbian branches of +the family; and another, Juan, whose son Rodrigo married Dona Leonor de +Cortinas, and by her had four children, Rodrigo, Andrea, Luisa, and +Miguel, our author. + +The pedigree of Cervantes is not without its bearing on "Don Quixote." A +man who could look back upon an ancestry of genuine knights-errant +extending from well-nigh the time of Pelayo to the siege of Granada was +likely to have a strong feeling on the subject of the sham chivalry of +the romances. It gives a point, too, to what he says in more than one +place about families that have once been great and have tapered away +until they have come to nothing, like a pyramid. It was the case of his +own. + +He was born at Alcala de Henares and baptised in the church of Santa +Maria Mayor on the 9th of October, 1547. Of his boyhood and youth we know +nothing, unless it be from the glimpse he gives us in the preface to his +"Comedies" of himself as a boy looking on with delight while Lope de +Rueda and his company set up their rude plank stage in the plaza and +acted the rustic farces which he himself afterwards took as the model of +his interludes. This first glimpse, however, is a significant one, for it +shows the early development of that love of the drama which exercised +such an influence on his life and seems to have grown stronger as he grew +older, and of which this very preface, written only a few months before +his death, is such a striking proof. He gives us to understand, too, that +he was a great reader in his youth; but of this no assurance was needed, +for the First Part of "Don Quixote" alone proves a vast amount of +miscellaneous reading, romances of chivalry, ballads, popular poetry, +chronicles, for which he had no time or opportunity except in the first +twenty years of his life; and his misquotations and mistakes in matters +of detail are always, it may be noticed, those of a man recalling the +reading of his boyhood. + +Other things besides the drama were in their infancy when Cervantes was a +boy. The period of his boyhood was in every way a transition period for +Spain. The old chivalrous Spain had passed away. The new Spain was the +mightiest power the world had seen since the Roman Empire and it had not +yet been called upon to pay the price of its greatness. By the policy of +Ferdinand and Ximenez the sovereign had been made absolute, and the +Church and Inquisition adroitly adjusted to keep him so. The nobles, who +had always resisted absolutism as strenuously as they had fought the +Moors, had been divested of all political power, a like fate had befallen +the cities, the free constitutions of Castile and Aragon had been swept +away, and the only function that remained to the Cortes was that of +granting money at the King's dictation. + +The transition extended to literature. Men who, like Garcilaso de la Vega +and Diego Hurtado de Mendoza, followed the Italian wars, had brought back +from Italy the products of the post-Renaissance literature, which took +root and flourished and even threatened to extinguish the native growths. +Damon and Thyrsis, Phyllis and Chloe had been fairly naturalised in +Spain, together with all the devices of pastoral poetry for investing +with an air of novelty the idea of a dispairing shepherd and inflexible +shepherdess. As a set-off against this, the old historical and +traditional ballads, and the true pastorals, the songs and ballads of +peasant life, were being collected assiduously and printed in the +cancioneros that succeeded one another with increasing rapidity. But the +most notable consequence, perhaps, of the spread of printing was the +flood of romances of chivalry that had continued to pour from the press +ever since Garci Ordonez de Montalvo had resuscitated "Amadis of Gaul" at +the beginning of the century. + +For a youth fond of reading, solid or light, there could have been no +better spot in Spain than Alcala de Henares in the middle of the +sixteenth century. It was then a busy, populous university town, +something more than the enterprising rival of Salamanca, and altogether a +very different place from the melancholy, silent, deserted Alcala the +traveller sees now as he goes from Madrid to Saragossa. Theology and +medicine may have been the strong points of the university, but the town +itself seems to have inclined rather to the humanities and light +literature, and as a producer of books Alcala was already beginning to +compete with the older presses of Toledo, Burgos, Salamanca and Seville. + +A pendant to the picture Cervantes has given us of his first playgoings +might, no doubt, have been often seen in the streets of Alcala at that +time; a bright, eager, tawny-haired boy peering into a book-shop where +the latest volumes lay open to tempt the public, wondering, it may be, +what that little book with the woodcut of the blind beggar and his boy, +that called itself "Vida de Lazarillo de Tormes, segunda impresion," +could be about; or with eyes brimming over with merriment gazing at one +of those preposterous portraits of a knight-errant in outrageous panoply +and plumes with which the publishers of chivalry romances loved to +embellish the title-pages of their folios. If the boy was the father of +the man, the sense of the incongruous that was strong at fifty was lively +at ten, and some such reflections as these may have been the true genesis +of "Don Quixote." + +For his more solid education, we are told, he went to Salamanca. But why +Rodrigo de Cervantes, who was very poor, should have sent his son to a +university a hundred and fifty miles away when he had one at his own +door, would be a puzzle, if we had any reason for supposing that he did +so. The only evidence is a vague statement by Professor Tomas Gonzalez, +that he once saw an old entry of the matriculation of a Miguel de +Cervantes. This does not appear to have been ever seen again; but even if +it had, and if the date corresponded, it would prove nothing, as there +were at least two other Miguels born about the middle of the century; one +of them, moreover, a Cervantes Saavedra, a cousin, no doubt, who was a +source of great embarrassment to the biographers. + +That he was a student neither at Salamanca nor at Alcala is best proved +by his own works. No man drew more largely upon experience than he did, +and he has nowhere left a single reminiscence of student life-for the +"Tia Fingida," if it be his, is not one--nothing, not even "a college +joke," to show that he remembered days that most men remember best. All +that we know positively about his education is that Juan Lopez de Hoyos, +a professor of humanities and belles-lettres of some eminence, calls him +his "dear and beloved pupil." This was in a little collection of verses +by different hands on the death of Isabel de Valois, second queen of +Philip II, published by the professor in 1569, to which Cervantes +contributed four pieces, including an elegy, and an epitaph in the form +of a sonnet. It is only by a rare chance that a "Lycidas" finds its way +into a volume of this sort, and Cervantes was no Milton. His verses are +no worse than such things usually are; so much, at least, may be said for +them. + +By the time the book appeared he had left Spain, and, as fate ordered it, +for twelve years, the most eventful ones of his life. Giulio, afterwards +Cardinal, Acquaviva had been sent at the end of 1568 to Philip II by the +Pope on a mission, partly of condolence, partly political, and on his +return to Rome, which was somewhat brusquely expedited by the King, he +took Cervantes with him as his camarero (chamberlain), the office he +himself held in the Pope's household. The post would no doubt have led to +advancement at the Papal Court had Cervantes retained it, but in the +summer of 1570 he resigned it and enlisted as a private soldier in +Captain Diego Urbina's company, belonging to Don Miguel de Moncada's +regiment, but at that time forming a part of the command of Marc Antony +Colonna. What impelled him to this step we know not, whether it was +distaste for the career before him, or purely military enthusiasm. It may +well have been the latter, for it was a stirring time; the events, +however, which led to the alliance between Spain, Venice, and the Pope, +against the common enemy, the Porte, and to the victory of the combined +fleets at Lepanto, belong rather to the history of Europe than to the +life of Cervantes. He was one of those that sailed from Messina, in +September 1571, under the command of Don John of Austria; but on the +morning of the 7th of October, when the Turkish fleet was sighted, he was +lying below ill with fever. At the news that the enemy was in sight he +rose, and, in spite of the remonstrances of his comrades and superiors, +insisted on taking his post, saying he preferred death in the service of +God and the King to health. His galley, the Marquesa, was in the thick of +the fight, and before it was over he had received three gunshot wounds, +two in the breast and one in the left hand or arm. On the morning after +the battle, according to Navarrete, he had an interview with the +commander-in-chief, Don John, who was making a personal inspection of the +wounded, one result of which was an addition of three crowns to his pay, +and another, apparently, the friendship of his general. + +How severely Cervantes was wounded may be inferred from the fact, that +with youth, a vigorous frame, and as cheerful and buoyant a temperament +as ever invalid had, he was seven months in hospital at Messina before he +was discharged. He came out with his left hand permanently disabled; he +had lost the use of it, as Mercury told him in the "Viaje del Parnaso" +for the greater glory of the right. This, however, did not absolutely +unfit him for service, and in April 1572 he joined Manuel Ponce de Leon's +company of Lope de Figueroa's regiment, in which, it seems probable, his +brother Rodrigo was serving, and shared in the operations of the next +three years, including the capture of the Goletta and Tunis. Taking +advantage of the lull which followed the recapture of these places by the +Turks, he obtained leave to return to Spain, and sailed from Naples in +September 1575 on board the Sun galley, in company with his brother +Rodrigo, Pedro Carrillo de Quesada, late Governor of the Goletta, and +some others, and furnished with letters from Don John of Austria and the +Duke of Sesa, the Viceroy of Sicily, recommending him to the King for the +command of a company, on account of his services; a dono infelice as +events proved. On the 26th they fell in with a squadron of Algerine +galleys, and after a stout resistance were overpowered and carried into +Algiers. + +By means of a ransomed fellow-captive the brothers contrived to inform +their family of their condition, and the poor people at Alcala at once +strove to raise the ransom money, the father disposing of all he +possessed, and the two sisters giving up their marriage portions. But +Dali Mami had found on Cervantes the letters addressed to the King by Don +John and the Duke of Sesa, and, concluding that his prize must be a +person of great consequence, when the money came he refused it scornfully +as being altogether insufficient. The owner of Rodrigo, however, was more +easily satisfied; ransom was accepted in his case, and it was arranged +between the brothers that he should return to Spain and procure a vessel +in which he was to come back to Algiers and take off Miguel and as many +of their comrades as possible. This was not the first attempt to escape +that Cervantes had made. Soon after the commencement of his captivity he +induced several of his companions to join him in trying to reach Oran, +then a Spanish post, on foot; but after the first day's journey, the Moor +who had agreed to act as their guide deserted them, and they had no +choice but to return. The second attempt was more disastrous. In a garden +outside the city on the sea-shore, he constructed, with the help of the +gardener, a Spaniard, a hiding-place, to which he brought, one by one, +fourteen of his fellow-captives, keeping them there in secrecy for +several months, and supplying them with food through a renegade known as +El Dorador, "the Gilder." How he, a captive himself, contrived to do all +this, is one of the mysteries of the story. Wild as the project may +appear, it was very nearly successful. The vessel procured by Rodrigo +made its appearance off the coast, and under cover of night was +proceeding to take off the refugees, when the crew were alarmed by a +passing fishing boat, and beat a hasty retreat. On renewing the attempt +shortly afterwards, they, or a portion of them at least, were taken +prisoners, and just as the poor fellows in the garden were exulting in +the thought that in a few moments more freedom would be within their +grasp, they found themselves surrounded by Turkish troops, horse and +foot. The Dorador had revealed the whole scheme to the Dey Hassan. + +When Cervantes saw what had befallen them, he charged his companions to +lay all the blame upon him, and as they were being bound he declared +aloud that the whole plot was of his contriving, and that nobody else had +any share in it. Brought before the Dey, he said the same. He was +threatened with impalement and with torture; and as cutting off ears and +noses were playful freaks with the Algerines, it may be conceived what +their tortures were like; but nothing could make him swerve from his +original statement that he and he alone was responsible. The upshot was +that the unhappy gardener was hanged by his master, and the prisoners +taken possession of by the Dey, who, however, afterwards restored most of +them to their masters, but kept Cervantes, paying Dali Mami 500 crowns +for him. He felt, no doubt, that a man of such resource, energy, and +daring, was too dangerous a piece of property to be left in private +hands; and he had him heavily ironed and lodged in his own prison. If he +thought that by these means he could break the spirit or shake the +resolution of his prisoner, he was soon undeceived, for Cervantes +contrived before long to despatch a letter to the Governor of Oran, +entreating him to send him some one that could be trusted, to enable him +and three other gentlemen, fellow-captives of his, to make their escape; +intending evidently to renew his first attempt with a more trustworthy +guide. Unfortunately the Moor who carried the letter was stopped just +outside Oran, and the letter being found upon him, he was sent back to +Algiers, where by the order of the Dey he was promptly impaled as a +warning to others, while Cervantes was condemned to receive two thousand +blows of the stick, a number which most likely would have deprived the +world of "Don Quixote," had not some persons, who they were we know not, +interceded on his behalf. + +After this he seems to have been kept in still closer confinement than +before, for nearly two years passed before he made another attempt. This +time his plan was to purchase, by the aid of a Spanish renegade and two +Valencian merchants resident in Algiers, an armed vessel in which he and +about sixty of the leading captives were to make their escape; but just +as they were about to put it into execution one Doctor Juan Blanco de +Paz, an ecclesiastic and a compatriot, informed the Dey of the plot. +Cervantes by force of character, by his self-devotion, by his untiring +energy and his exertions to lighten the lot of his companions in misery, +had endeared himself to all, and become the leading spirit in the captive +colony, and, incredible as it may seem, jealousy of his influence and the +esteem in which he was held, moved this man to compass his destruction by +a cruel death. The merchants finding that the Dey knew all, and fearing +that Cervantes under torture might make disclosures that would imperil +their own lives, tried to persuade him to slip away on board a vessel +that was on the point of sailing for Spain; but he told them they had +nothing to fear, for no tortures would make him compromise anybody, and +he went at once and gave himself up to the Dey. + +As before, the Dey tried to force him to name his accomplices. Everything +was made ready for his immediate execution; the halter was put round his +neck and his hands tied behind him, but all that could be got from him +was that he himself, with the help of four gentlemen who had since left +Algiers, had arranged the whole, and that the sixty who were to accompany +him were not to know anything of it until the last moment. Finding he +could make nothing of him, the Dey sent him back to prison more heavily +ironed than before. + +The poverty-stricken Cervantes family had been all this time trying once +more to raise the ransom money, and at last a sum of three hundred ducats +was got together and entrusted to the Redemptorist Father Juan Gil, who +was about to sail for Algiers. The Dey, however, demanded more than +double the sum offered, and as his term of office had expired and he was +about to sail for Constantinople, taking all his slaves with him, the +case of Cervantes was critical. He was already on board heavily ironed, +when the Dey at length agreed to reduce his demand by one-half, and +Father Gil by borrowing was able to make up the amount, and on September +19, 1580, after a captivity of five years all but a week, Cervantes was +at last set free. Before long he discovered that Blanco de Paz, who +claimed to be an officer of the Inquisition, was now concocting on false +evidence a charge of misconduct to be brought against him on his return +to Spain. To checkmate him Cervantes drew up a series of twenty-five +questions, covering the whole period of his captivity, upon which he +requested Father Gil to take the depositions of credible witnesses before +a notary. Eleven witnesses taken from among the principal captives in +Algiers deposed to all the facts above stated and to a great deal more +besides. There is something touching in the admiration, love, and +gratitude we see struggling to find expression in the formal language of +the notary, as they testify one after another to the good deeds of +Cervantes, how he comforted and helped the weak-hearted, how he kept up +their drooping courage, how he shared his poor purse with this deponent, +and how "in him this deponent found father and mother." + +On his return to Spain he found his old regiment about to march for +Portugal to support Philip's claim to the crown, and utterly penniless +now, had no choice but to rejoin it. He was in the expeditions to the +Azores in 1582 and the following year, and on the conclusion of the war +returned to Spain in the autumn of 1583, bringing with him the manuscript +of his pastoral romance, the "Galatea," and probably also, to judge by +internal evidence, that of the first portion of "Persiles and +Sigismunda." He also brought back with him, his biographers assert, an +infant daughter, the offspring of an amour, as some of them with great +circumstantiality inform us, with a Lisbon lady of noble birth, whose +name, however, as well as that of the street she lived in, they omit to +mention. The sole foundation for all this is that in 1605 there certainly +was living in the family of Cervantes a Dona Isabel de Saavedra, who is +described in an official document as his natural daughter, and then +twenty years of age. + +With his crippled left hand promotion in the army was hopeless, now that +Don John was dead and he had no one to press his claims and services, and +for a man drawing on to forty life in the ranks was a dismal prospect; he +had already a certain reputation as a poet; he made up his mind, +therefore, to cast his lot with literature, and for a first venture +committed his "Galatea" to the press. It was published, as Salva y Mallen +shows conclusively, at Alcala, his own birth-place, in 1585 and no doubt +helped to make his name more widely known, but certainly did not do him +much good in any other way. + +While it was going through the press, he married Dona Catalina de +Palacios Salazar y Vozmediano, a lady of Esquivias near Madrid, and +apparently a friend of the family, who brought him a fortune which may +possibly have served to keep the wolf from the door, but if so, that was +all. The drama had by this time outgrown market-place stages and +strolling companies, and with his old love for it he naturally turned to +it for a congenial employment. In about three years he wrote twenty or +thirty plays, which he tells us were performed without any throwing of +cucumbers or other missiles, and ran their course without any hisses, +outcries, or disturbance. In other words, his plays were not bad enough +to be hissed off the stage, but not good enough to hold their own upon +it. Only two of them have been preserved, but as they happen to be two of +the seven or eight he mentions with complacency, we may assume they are +favourable specimens, and no one who reads the "Numancia" and the "Trato +de Argel" will feel any surprise that they failed as acting dramas. +Whatever merits they may have, whatever occasional they may show, they +are, as regards construction, incurably clumsy. How completely they +failed is manifest from the fact that with all his sanguine temperament +and indomitable perseverance he was unable to maintain the struggle to +gain a livelihood as a dramatist for more than three years; nor was the +rising popularity of Lope the cause, as is often said, notwithstanding +his own words to the contrary. When Lope began to write for the stage is +uncertain, but it was certainly after Cervantes went to Seville. + +Among the "Nuevos Documentos" printed by Senor Asensio y Toledo is one +dated 1592, and curiously characteristic of Cervantes. It is an agreement +with one Rodrigo Osorio, a manager, who was to accept six comedies at +fifty ducats (about 6l.) apiece, not to be paid in any case unless it +appeared on representation that the said comedy was one of the best that +had ever been represented in Spain. The test does not seem to have been +ever applied; perhaps it was sufficiently apparent to Rodrigo Osorio that +the comedies were not among the best that had ever been represented. +Among the correspondence of Cervantes there might have been found, no +doubt, more than one letter like that we see in the "Rake's Progress," +"Sir, I have read your play, and it will not doo." + +He was more successful in a literary contest at Saragossa in 1595 in +honour of the canonisation of St. Jacinto, when his composition won the +first prize, three silver spoons. The year before this he had been +appointed a collector of revenues for the kingdom of Granada. In order to +remit the money he had collected more conveniently to the treasury, he +entrusted it to a merchant, who failed and absconded; and as the +bankrupt's assets were insufficient to cover the whole, he was sent to +prison at Seville in September 1597. The balance against him, however, +was a small one, about 26l., and on giving security for it he was +released at the end of the year. + +It was as he journeyed from town to town collecting the king's taxes, +that he noted down those bits of inn and wayside life and character that +abound in the pages of "Don Quixote:" the Benedictine monks with +spectacles and sunshades, mounted on their tall mules; the strollers in +costume bound for the next village; the barber with his basin on his +head, on his way to bleed a patient; the recruit with his breeches in his +bundle, tramping along the road singing; the reapers gathered in the +venta gateway listening to "Felixmarte of Hircania" read out to them; and +those little Hogarthian touches that he so well knew how to bring in, the +ox-tail hanging up with the landlord's comb stuck in it, the wine-skins +at the bed-head, and those notable examples of hostelry art, Helen going +off in high spirits on Paris's arm, and Dido on the tower dropping tears +as big as walnuts. Nay, it may well be that on those journeys into remote +regions he came across now and then a specimen of the pauper gentleman, +with his lean hack and his greyhound and his books of chivalry, dreaming +away his life in happy ignorance that the world had changed since his +great-grandfather's old helmet was new. But it was in Seville that he +found out his true vocation, though he himself would not by any means +have admitted it to be so. It was there, in Triana, that he was first +tempted to try his hand at drawing from life, and first brought his +humour into play in the exquisite little sketch of "Rinconete y +Cortadillo," the germ, in more ways than one, of "Don Quixote." + +Where and when that was written, we cannot tell. After his imprisonment +all trace of Cervantes in his official capacity disappears, from which it +may be inferred that he was not reinstated. That he was still in Seville +in November 1598 appears from a satirical sonnet of his on the elaborate +catafalque erected to testify the grief of the city at the death of +Philip II, but from this up to 1603 we have no clue to his movements. The +words in the preface to the First Part of "Don Quixote" are generally +held to be conclusive that he conceived the idea of the book, and wrote +the beginning of it at least, in a prison, and that he may have done so +is extremely likely. + +There is a tradition that Cervantes read some portions of his work to a +select audience at the Duke of Bejar's, which may have helped to make the +book known; but the obvious conclusion is that the First Part of "Don +Quixote" lay on his hands some time before he could find a publisher bold +enough to undertake a venture of so novel a character; and so little +faith in it had Francisco Robles of Madrid, to whom at last he sold it, +that he did not care to incur the expense of securing the copyright for +Aragon or Portugal, contenting himself with that for Castile. The +printing was finished in December, and the book came out with the new +year, 1605. It is often said that "Don Quixote" was at first received +coldly. The facts show just the contrary. No sooner was it in the hands +of the public than preparations were made to issue pirated editions at +Lisbon and Valencia, and to bring out a second edition with the +additional copyrights for Aragon and Portugal, which he secured in +February. + +No doubt it was received with something more than coldness by certain +sections of the community. Men of wit, taste, and discrimination among +the aristocracy gave it a hearty welcome, but the aristocracy in general +were not likely to relish a book that turned their favourite reading into +ridicule and laughed at so many of their favourite ideas. The dramatists +who gathered round Lope as their leader regarded Cervantes as their +common enemy, and it is plain that he was equally obnoxious to the other +clique, the culto poets who had Gongora for their chief. Navarrete, who +knew nothing of the letter above mentioned, tries hard to show that the +relations between Cervantes and Lope were of a very friendly sort, as +indeed they were until "Don Quixote" was written. Cervantes, indeed, to +the last generously and manfully declared his admiration of Lope's +powers, his unfailing invention, and his marvellous fertility; but in the +preface of the First Part of "Don Quixote" and in the verses of "Urganda +the Unknown," and one or two other places, there are, if we read between +the lines, sly hits at Lope's vanities and affectations that argue no +personal good-will; and Lope openly sneers at "Don Quixote" and +Cervantes, and fourteen years after his death gives him only a few lines +of cold commonplace in the "Laurel de Apolo," that seem all the colder +for the eulogies of a host of nonentities whose names are found nowhere +else. + +In 1601 Valladolid was made the seat of the Court, and at the beginning +of 1603 Cervantes had been summoned thither in connection with the +balance due by him to the Treasury, which was still outstanding. He +remained at Valladolid, apparently supporting himself by agencies and +scrivener's work of some sort; probably drafting petitions and drawing up +statements of claims to be presented to the Council, and the like. So, at +least, we gather from the depositions taken on the occasion of the death +of a gentleman, the victim of a street brawl, who had been carried into +the house in which he lived. In these he himself is described as a man +who wrote and transacted business, and it appears that his household then +consisted of his wife, the natural daughter Isabel de Saavedra already +mentioned, his sister Andrea, now a widow, her daughter Constanza, a +mysterious Magdalena de Sotomayor calling herself his sister, for whom +his biographers cannot account, and a servant-maid. + +Meanwhile "Don Quixote" had been growing in favour, and its author's name +was now known beyond the Pyrenees. In 1607 an edition was printed at +Brussels. Robles, the Madrid publisher, found it necessary to meet the +demand by a third edition, the seventh in all, in 1608. The popularity of +the book in Italy was such that a Milan bookseller was led to bring out +an edition in 1610; and another was called for in Brussels in 1611. It +might naturally have been expected that, with such proofs before him that +he had hit the taste of the public, Cervantes would have at once set +about redeeming his rather vague promise of a second volume. + +But, to all appearance, nothing was farther from his thoughts. He had +still by him one or two short tales of the same vintage as those he had +inserted in "Don Quixote" and instead of continuing the adventures of Don +Quixote, he set to work to write more of these "Novelas Exemplares" as he +afterwards called them, with a view to making a book of them. + +The novels were published in the summer of 1613, with a dedication to the +Conde de Lemos, the Maecenas of the day, and with one of those chatty +confidential prefaces Cervantes was so fond of. In this, eight years and +a half after the First Part of "Don Quixote" had appeared, we get the +first hint of a forthcoming Second Part. "You shall see shortly," he +says, "the further exploits of Don Quixote and humours of Sancho Panza." +His idea of "shortly" was a somewhat elastic one, for, as we know by the +date to Sancho's letter, he had barely one-half of the book completed +that time twelvemonth. + +But more than poems, or pastorals, or novels, it was his dramatic +ambition that engrossed his thoughts. The same indomitable spirit that +kept him from despair in the bagnios of Algiers, and prompted him to +attempt the escape of himself and his comrades again and again, made him +persevere in spite of failure and discouragement in his efforts to win +the ear of the public as a dramatist. The temperament of Cervantes was +essentially sanguine. The portrait he draws in the preface to the novels, +with the aquiline features, chestnut hair, smooth untroubled forehead, +and bright cheerful eyes, is the very portrait of a sanguine man. Nothing +that the managers might say could persuade him that the merits of his +plays would not be recognised at last if they were only given a fair +chance. The old soldier of the Spanish Salamis was bent on being the +Aeschylus of Spain. He was to found a great national drama, based on the +true principles of art, that was to be the envy of all nations; he was to +drive from the stage the silly, childish plays, the "mirrors of nonsense +and models of folly" that were in vogue through the cupidity of the +managers and shortsightedness of the authors; he was to correct and +educate the public taste until it was ripe for tragedies on the model of +the Greek drama--like the "Numancia" for instance--and comedies that +would not only amuse but improve and instruct. All this he was to do, +could he once get a hearing: there was the initial difficulty. + +He shows plainly enough, too, that "Don Quixote" and the demolition of +the chivalry romances was not the work that lay next his heart. He was, +indeed, as he says himself in his preface, more a stepfather than a +father to "Don Quixote." Never was great work so neglected by its author. +That it was written carelessly, hastily, and by fits and starts, was not +always his fault, but it seems clear he never read what he sent to the +press. He knew how the printers had blundered, but he never took the +trouble to correct them when the third edition was in progress, as a man +who really cared for the child of his brain would have done. He appears +to have regarded the book as little more than a mere libro de +entretenimiento, an amusing book, a thing, as he says in the "Viaje," "to +divert the melancholy moody heart at any time or season." No doubt he had +an affection for his hero, and was very proud of Sancho Panza. It would +have been strange indeed if he had not been proud of the most humorous +creation in all fiction. He was proud, too, of the popularity and success +of the book, and beyond measure delightful is the naivete with which he +shows his pride in a dozen passages in the Second Part. But it was not +the success he coveted. In all probability he would have given all the +success of "Don Quixote," nay, would have seen every copy of "Don +Quixote" burned in the Plaza Mayor, for one such success as Lope de Vega +was enjoying on an average once a week. + +And so he went on, dawdling over "Don Quixote," adding a chapter now and +again, and putting it aside to turn to "Persiles and Sigismunda"--which, +as we know, was to be the most entertaining book in the language, and the +rival of "Theagenes and Chariclea"--or finishing off one of his darling +comedies; and if Robles asked when "Don Quixote" would be ready, the +answer no doubt was: En breve-shortly, there was time enough for that. At +sixty-eight he was as full of life and hope and plans for the future as a +boy of eighteen. + +Nemesis was coming, however. He had got as far as Chapter LIX, which at +his leisurely pace he could hardly have reached before October or +November 1614, when there was put into his hand a small octave lately +printed at Tarragona, and calling itself "Second Volume of the Ingenious +Gentleman Don Quixote of La Mancha: by the Licentiate Alonso Fernandez de +Avellaneda of Tordesillas." The last half of Chapter LIX and most of the +following chapters of the Second Part give us some idea of the effect +produced upon him, and his irritation was not likely to be lessened by +the reflection that he had no one to blame but himself. Had Avellaneda, +in fact, been content with merely bringing out a continuation to "Don +Quixote," Cervantes would have had no reasonable grievance. His own +intentions were expressed in the very vaguest language at the end of the +book; nay, in his last words, "forse altro cantera con miglior plettro," +he seems actually to invite some one else to continue the work, and he +made no sign until eight years and a half had gone by; by which time +Avellaneda's volume was no doubt written. + +In fact Cervantes had no case, or a very bad one, as far as the mere +continuation was concerned. But Avellaneda chose to write a preface to +it, full of such coarse personal abuse as only an ill-conditioned man +could pour out. He taunts Cervantes with being old, with having lost his +hand, with having been in prison, with being poor, with being friendless, +accuses him of envy of Lope's success, of petulance and querulousness, +and so on; and it was in this that the sting lay. Avellaneda's reason for +this personal attack is obvious enough. Whoever he may have been, it is +clear that he was one of the dramatists of Lope's school, for he has the +impudence to charge Cervantes with attacking him as well as Lope in his +criticism on the drama. His identification has exercised the best critics +and baffled all the ingenuity and research that has been brought to bear +on it. Navarrete and Ticknor both incline to the belief that Cervantes +knew who he was; but I must say I think the anger he shows suggests an +invisible assailant; it is like the irritation of a man stung by a +mosquito in the dark. Cervantes from certain solecisms of language +pronounces him to be an Aragonese, and Pellicer, an Aragonese himself, +supports this view and believes him, moreover, to have been an +ecclesiastic, a Dominican probably. + +Any merit Avellaneda has is reflected from Cervantes, and he is too dull +to reflect much. "Dull and dirty" will always be, I imagine, the verdict +of the vast majority of unprejudiced readers. He is, at best, a poor +plagiarist; all he can do is to follow slavishly the lead given him by +Cervantes; his only humour lies in making Don Quixote take inns for +castles and fancy himself some legendary or historical personage, and +Sancho mistake words, invert proverbs, and display his gluttony; all +through he shows a proclivity to coarseness and dirt, and he has +contrived to introduce two tales filthier than anything by the sixteenth +century novellieri and without their sprightliness. + +But whatever Avellaneda and his book may be, we must not forget the debt +we owe them. But for them, there can be no doubt, "Don Quixote" would +have come to us a mere torso instead of a complete work. Even if +Cervantes had finished the volume he had in hand, most assuredly he would +have left off with a promise of a Third Part, giving the further +adventures of Don Quixote and humours of Sancho Panza as shepherds. It is +plain that he had at one time an intention of dealing with the pastoral +romances as he had dealt with the books of chivalry, and but for +Avellaneda he would have tried to carry it out. But it is more likely +that, with his plans, and projects, and hopefulness, the volume would +have remained unfinished till his death, and that we should have never +made the acquaintance of the Duke and Duchess, or gone with Sancho to +Barataria. + +From the moment the book came into his hands he seems to have been +haunted by the fear that there might be more Avellanedas in the field, +and putting everything else aside, he set himself to finish off his task +and protect Don Quixote in the only way he could, by killing him. The +conclusion is no doubt a hasty and in some places clumsy piece of work +and the frequent repetition of the scolding administered to Avellaneda +becomes in the end rather wearisome; but it is, at any rate, a conclusion +and for that we must thank Avellaneda. + +The new volume was ready for the press in February, but was not printed +till the very end of 1615, and during the interval Cervantes put together +the comedies and interludes he had written within the last few years, +and, as he adds plaintively, found no demand for among the managers, and +published them with a preface, worth the book it introduces tenfold, in +which he gives an account of the early Spanish stage, and of his own +attempts as a dramatist. It is needless to say they were put forward by +Cervantes in all good faith and full confidence in their merits. The +reader, however, was not to suppose they were his last word or final +effort in the drama, for he had in hand a comedy called "Engano a los +ojos," about which, if he mistook not, there would be no question. + +Of this dramatic masterpiece the world has no opportunity of judging; his +health had been failing for some time, and he died, apparently of dropsy, +on the 23rd of April, 1616, the day on which England lost Shakespeare, +nominally at least, for the English calendar had not yet been reformed. +He died as he had lived, accepting his lot bravely and cheerfully. + +Was it an unhappy life, that of Cervantes? His biographers all tell us +that it was; but I must say I doubt it. It was a hard life, a life of +poverty, of incessant struggle, of toil ill paid, of disappointment, but +Cervantes carried within himself the antidote to all these evils. His was +not one of those light natures that rise above adversity merely by virtue +of their own buoyancy; it was in the fortitude of a high spirit that he +was proof against it. It is impossible to conceive Cervantes giving way +to despondency or prostrated by dejection. As for poverty, it was with +him a thing to be laughed over, and the only sigh he ever allows to +escape him is when he says, "Happy he to whom Heaven has given a piece of +bread for which he is not bound to give thanks to any but Heaven itself." +Add to all this his vital energy and mental activity, his restless +invention and his sanguine temperament, and there will be reason enough +to doubt whether his could have been a very unhappy life. He who could +take Cervantes' distresses together with his apparatus for enduring them +would not make so bad a bargain, perhaps, as far as happiness in life is +concerned. + +Of his burial-place nothing is known except that he was buried, in +accordance with his will, in the neighbouring convent of Trinitarian +nuns, of which it is supposed his daughter, Isabel de Saavedra, was an +inmate, and that a few years afterwards the nuns removed to another +convent, carrying their dead with them. But whether the remains of +Cervantes were included in the removal or not no one knows, and the clue +to their resting-place is now lost beyond all hope. This furnishes +perhaps the least defensible of the items in the charge of neglect +brought against his contemporaries. In some of the others there is a good +deal of exaggeration. To listen to most of his biographers one would +suppose that all Spain was in league not only against the man but against +his memory, or at least that it was insensible to his merits, and left +him to live in misery and die of want. To talk of his hard life and +unworthy employments in Andalusia is absurd. What had he done to +distinguish him from thousands of other struggling men earning a +precarious livelihood? True, he was a gallant soldier, who had been +wounded and had undergone captivity and suffering in his country's cause, +but there were hundreds of others in the same case. He had written a +mediocre specimen of an insipid class of romance, and some plays which +manifestly did not comply with the primary condition of pleasing: were +the playgoers to patronise plays that did not amuse them, because the +author was to produce "Don Quixote" twenty years afterwards? + +The scramble for copies which, as we have seen, followed immediately on +the appearance of the book, does not look like general insensibility to +its merits. No doubt it was received coldly by some, but if a man writes +a book in ridicule of periwigs he must make his account with being coldly +received by the periwig wearers and hated by the whole tribe of +wigmakers. If Cervantes had the chivalry-romance readers, the +sentimentalists, the dramatists, and the poets of the period all against +him, it was because "Don Quixote" was what it was; and if the general +public did not come forward to make him comfortable for the rest of his +days, it is no more to be charged with neglect and ingratitude than the +English-speaking public that did not pay off Scott's liabilities. It did +the best it could; it read his book and liked it and bought it, and +encouraged the bookseller to pay him well for others. + +It has been also made a reproach to Spain that she has erected no +monument to the man she is proudest of; no monument, that is to say, of +him; for the bronze statue in the little garden of the Plaza de las +Cortes, a fair work of art no doubt, and unexceptionable had it been set +up to the local poet in the market-place of some provincial town, is not +worthy of Cervantes or of Madrid. But what need has Cervantes of "such +weak witness of his name;" or what could a monument do in his case except +testify to the self-glorification of those who had put it up? Si +monumentum quoeris, circumspice. The nearest bookseller's shop will show +what bathos there would be in a monument to the author of "Don Quixote." + +Nine editions of the First Part of "Don Quixote" had already appeared +before Cervantes died, thirty thousand copies in all, according to his +own estimate, and a tenth was printed at Barcelona the year after his +death. So large a number naturally supplied the demand for some time, but +by 1634 it appears to have been exhausted; and from that time down to the +present day the stream of editions has continued to flow rapidly and +regularly. The translations show still more clearly in what request the +book has been from the very outset. In seven years from the completion of +the work it had been translated into the four leading languages of +Europe. Except the Bible, in fact, no book has been so widely diffused as +"Don Quixote." The "Imitatio Christi" may have been translated into as +many different languages, and perhaps "Robinson Crusoe" and the "Vicar of +Wakefield" into nearly as many, but in multiplicity of translations and +editions "Don Quixote" leaves them all far behind. + +Still more remarkable is the character of this wide diffusion. "Don +Quixote" has been thoroughly naturalised among people whose ideas about +knight-errantry, if they had any at all, were of the vaguest, who had +never seen or heard of a book of chivalry, who could not possibly feel +the humour of the burlesque or sympathise with the author's purpose. +Another curious fact is that this, the most cosmopolitan book in the +world, is one of the most intensely national. "Manon Lescaut" is not more +thoroughly French, "Tom Jones" not more English, "Rob Roy" not more +Scotch, than "Don Quixote" is Spanish, in character, in ideas, in +sentiment, in local colour, in everything. What, then, is the secret of +this unparalleled popularity, increasing year by year for well-nigh three +centuries? One explanation, no doubt, is that of all the books in the +world, "Don Quixote" is the most catholic. There is something in it for +every sort of reader, young or old, sage or simple, high or low. As +Cervantes himself says with a touch of pride, "It is thumbed and read and +got by heart by people of all sorts; the children turn its leaves, the +young people read it, the grown men understand it, the old folk praise +it." + +But it would be idle to deny that the ingredient which, more than its +humour, or its wisdom, or the fertility of invention or knowledge of +human nature it displays, has insured its success with the multitude, is +the vein of farce that runs through it. It was the attack upon the sheep, +the battle with the wine-skins, Mambrino's helmet, the balsam of +Fierabras, Don Quixote knocked over by the sails of the windmill, Sancho +tossed in the blanket, the mishaps and misadventures of master and man, +that were originally the great attraction, and perhaps are so still to +some extent with the majority of readers. It is plain that "Don Quixote" +was generally regarded at first, and indeed in Spain for a long time, as +little more than a queer droll book, full of laughable incidents and +absurd situations, very amusing, but not entitled to much consideration +or care. All the editions printed in Spain from 1637 to 1771, when the +famous printer Ibarra took it up, were mere trade editions, badly and +carelessly printed on vile paper and got up in the style of chap-books +intended only for popular use, with, in most instances, uncouth +illustrations and clap-trap additions by the publisher. + +To England belongs the credit of having been the first country to +recognise the right of "Don Quixote" to better treatment than this. The +London edition of 1738, commonly called Lord Carteret's from having been +suggested by him, was not a mere edition de luxe. It produced "Don +Quixote" in becoming form as regards paper and type, and embellished with +plates which, if not particularly happy as illustrations, were at least +well intentioned and well executed, but it also aimed at correctness of +text, a matter to which nobody except the editors of the Valencia and +Brussels editions had given even a passing thought; and for a first +attempt it was fairly successful, for though some of its emendations are +inadmissible, a good many of them have been adopted by all subsequent +editors. + +The zeal of publishers, editors, and annotators brought about a +remarkable change of sentiment with regard to "Don Quixote." A vast +number of its admirers began to grow ashamed of laughing over it. It +became almost a crime to treat it as a humorous book. The humour was not +entirely denied, but, according to the new view, it was rated as an +altogether secondary quality, a mere accessory, nothing more than the +stalking-horse under the presentation of which Cervantes shot his +philosophy or his satire, or whatever it was he meant to shoot; for on +this point opinions varied. All were agreed, however, that the object he +aimed at was not the books of chivalry. He said emphatically in the +preface to the First Part and in the last sentence of the Second, that he +had no other object in view than to discredit these books, and this, to +advanced criticism, made it clear that his object must have been +something else. + +One theory was that the book was a kind of allegory, setting forth the +eternal struggle between the ideal and the real, between the spirit of +poetry and the spirit of prose; and perhaps German philosophy never +evolved a more ungainly or unlikely camel out of the depths of its inner +consciousness. Something of the antagonism, no doubt, is to be found in +"Don Quixote," because it is to be found everywhere in life, and +Cervantes drew from life. It is difficult to imagine a community in which +the never-ceasing game of cross-purposes between Sancho Panza and Don +Quixote would not be recognized as true to nature. In the stone age, +among the lake dwellers, among the cave men, there were Don Quixotes and +Sancho Panzas; there must have been the troglodyte who never could see +the facts before his eyes, and the troglodyte who could see nothing else. +But to suppose Cervantes deliberately setting himself to expound any such +idea in two stout quarto volumes is to suppose something not only very +unlike the age in which he lived, but altogether unlike Cervantes +himself, who would have been the first to laugh at an attempt of the sort +made by anyone else. + +The extraordinary influence of the romances of chivalry in his day is +quite enough to account for the genesis of the book. Some idea of the +prodigious development of this branch of literature in the sixteenth +century may be obtained from the scrutiny of Chapter VII, if the reader +bears in mind that only a portion of the romances belonging to by far the +largest group are enumerated. As to its effect upon the nation, there is +abundant evidence. From the time when the Amadises and Palmerins began to +grow popular down to the very end of the century, there is a steady +stream of invective, from men whose character and position lend weight to +their words, against the romances of chivalry and the infatuation of +their readers. Ridicule was the only besom to sweep away that dust. + +That this was the task Cervantes set himself, and that he had ample +provocation to urge him to it, will be sufficiently clear to those who +look into the evidence; as it will be also that it was not chivalry +itself that he attacked and swept away. Of all the absurdities that, +thanks to poetry, will be repeated to the end of time, there is no +greater one than saying that "Cervantes smiled Spain's chivalry away." In +the first place there was no chivalry for him to smile away. Spain's +chivalry had been dead for more than a century. Its work was done when +Granada fell, and as chivalry was essentially republican in its nature, +it could not live under the rule that Ferdinand substituted for the free +institutions of mediaeval Spain. What he did smile away was not chivalry +but a degrading mockery of it. + +The true nature of the "right arm" and the "bright array," before which, +according to the poet, "the world gave ground," and which Cervantes' +single laugh demolished, may be gathered from the words of one of his own +countrymen, Don Felix Pacheco, as reported by Captain George Carleton, in +his "Military Memoirs from 1672 to 1713." "Before the appearance in the +world of that labour of Cervantes," he said, "it was next to an +impossibility for a man to walk the streets with any delight or without +danger. There were seen so many cavaliers prancing and curvetting before +the windows of their mistresses, that a stranger would have imagined the +whole nation to have been nothing less than a race of knight-errants. But +after the world became a little acquainted with that notable history, the +man that was seen in that once celebrated drapery was pointed at as a Don +Quixote, and found himself the jest of high and low. And I verily believe +that to this, and this only, we owe that dampness and poverty of spirit +which has run through all our councils for a century past, so little +agreeable to those nobler actions of our famous ancestors." + +To call "Don Quixote" a sad book, preaching a pessimist view of life, +argues a total misconception of its drift. It would be so if its moral +were that, in this world, true enthusiasm naturally leads to ridicule and +discomfiture. But it preaches nothing of the sort; its moral, so far as +it can be said to have one, is that the spurious enthusiasm that is born +of vanity and self-conceit, that is made an end in itself, not a means to +an end, that acts on mere impulse, regardless of circumstances and +consequences, is mischievous to its owner, and a very considerable +nuisance to the community at large. To those who cannot distinguish +between the one kind and the other, no doubt "Don Quixote" is a sad book; +no doubt to some minds it is very sad that a man who had just uttered so +beautiful a sentiment as that "it is a hard case to make slaves of those +whom God and Nature made free," should be ungratefully pelted by the +scoundrels his crazy philanthropy had let loose on society; but to others +of a more judicial cast it will be a matter of regret that reckless +self-sufficient enthusiasm is not oftener requited in some such way for +all the mischief it does in the world. + +A very slight examination of the structure of "Don Quixote" will suffice +to show that Cervantes had no deep design or elaborate plan in his mind +when he began the book. When he wrote those lines in which "with a few +strokes of a great master he sets before us the pauper gentleman," he had +no idea of the goal to which his imagination was leading him. There can +be little doubt that all he contemplated was a short tale to range with +those he had already written, a tale setting forth the ludicrous results +that might be expected to follow the attempt of a crazy gentleman to act +the part of a knight-errant in modern life. + +It is plain, for one thing, that Sancho Panza did not enter into the +original scheme, for had Cervantes thought of him he certainly would not +have omitted him in his hero's outfit, which he obviously meant to be +complete. Him we owe to the landlord's chance remark in Chapter III that +knights seldom travelled without squires. To try to think of a Don +Quixote without Sancho Panza is like trying to think of a one-bladed pair +of scissors. + +The story was written at first, like the others, without any division and +without the intervention of Cide Hamete Benengeli; and it seems not +unlikely that Cervantes had some intention of bringing Dulcinea, or +Aldonza Lorenzo, on the scene in person. It was probably the ransacking +of the Don's library and the discussion on the books of chivalry that +first suggested it to him that his idea was capable of development. What, +if instead of a mere string of farcical misadventures, he were to make +his tale a burlesque of one of these books, caricaturing their style, +incidents, and spirit? + +In pursuance of this change of plan, he hastily and somewhat clumsily +divided what he had written into chapters on the model of "Amadis," +invented the fable of a mysterious Arabic manuscript, and set up Cide +Hamete Benengeli in imitation of the almost invariable practice of the +chivalry-romance authors, who were fond of tracing their books to some +recondite source. In working out the new ideas, he soon found the value +of Sancho Panza. Indeed, the keynote, not only to Sancho's part, but to +the whole book, is struck in the first words Sancho utters when he +announces his intention of taking his ass with him. "About the ass," we +are told, "Don Quixote hesitated a little, trying whether he could call +to mind any knight-errant taking with him an esquire mounted on ass-back; +but no instance occurred to his memory." We can see the whole scene at a +glance, the stolid unconsciousness of Sancho and the perplexity of his +master, upon whose perception the incongruity has just forced itself. +This is Sancho's mission throughout the book; he is an unconscious +Mephistopheles, always unwittingly making mockery of his master's +aspirations, always exposing the fallacy of his ideas by some +unintentional ad absurdum, always bringing him back to the world of fact +and commonplace by force of sheer stolidity. + +By the time Cervantes had got his volume of novels off his hands, and +summoned up resolution enough to set about the Second Part in earnest, +the case was very much altered. Don Quixote and Sancho Panza had not +merely found favour, but had already become, what they have never since +ceased to be, veritable entities to the popular imagination. There was no +occasion for him now to interpolate extraneous matter; nay, his readers +told him plainly that what they wanted of him was more Don Quixote and +more Sancho Panza, and not novels, tales, or digressions. To himself, +too, his creations had become realities, and he had become proud of them, +especially of Sancho. He began the Second Part, therefore, under very +different conditions, and the difference makes itself manifest at once. +Even in translation the style will be seen to be far easier, more +flowing, more natural, and more like that of a man sure of himself and of +his audience. Don Quixote and Sancho undergo a change also. In the First +Part, Don Quixote has no character or individuality whatever. He is +nothing more than a crazy representative of the sentiments of the +chivalry romances. In all that he says and does he is simply repeating +the lesson he has learned from his books; and therefore, it is absurd to +speak of him in the gushing strain of the sentimental critics when they +dilate upon his nobleness, disinterestedness, dauntless courage, and so +forth. It was the business of a knight-errant to right wrongs, redress +injuries, and succour the distressed, and this, as a matter of course, he +makes his business when he takes up the part; a knight-errant was bound +to be intrepid, and so he feels bound to cast fear aside. Of all Byron's +melodious nonsense about Don Quixote, the most nonsensical statement is +that "'t is his virtue makes him mad!" The exact opposite is the truth; +it is his madness makes him virtuous. + +In the Second Part, Cervantes repeatedly reminds the reader, as if it was +a point upon which he was anxious there should be no mistake, that his +hero's madness is strictly confined to delusions on the subject of +chivalry, and that on every other subject he is discreto, one, in fact, +whose faculty of discernment is in perfect order. The advantage of this +is that he is enabled to make use of Don Quixote as a mouthpiece for his +own reflections, and so, without seeming to digress, allow himself the +relief of digression when he requires it, as freely as in a commonplace +book. + +It is true the amount of individuality bestowed upon Don Quixote is not +very great. There are some natural touches of character about him, such +as his mixture of irascibility and placability, and his curious affection +for Sancho together with his impatience of the squire's loquacity and +impertinence; but in the main, apart from his craze, he is little more +than a thoughtful, cultured gentleman, with instinctive good taste and a +great deal of shrewdness and originality of mind. + +As to Sancho, it is plain, from the concluding words of the preface to +the First Part, that he was a favourite with his creator even before he +had been taken into favour by the public. An inferior genius, taking him +in hand a second time, would very likely have tried to improve him by +making him more comical, clever, amiable, or virtuous. But Cervantes was +too true an artist to spoil his work in this way. Sancho, when he +reappears, is the old Sancho with the old familiar features; but with a +difference; they have been brought out more distinctly, but at the same +time with a careful avoidance of anything like caricature; the outline +has been filled in where filling in was necessary, and, vivified by a few +touches of a master's hand, Sancho stands before us as he might in a +character portrait by Velazquez. He is a much more important and +prominent figure in the Second Part than in the First; indeed, it is his +matchless mendacity about Dulcinea that to a great extent supplies the +action of the story. + +His development in this respect is as remarkable as in any other. In the +First Part he displays a great natural gift of lying. His lies are not of +the highly imaginative sort that liars in fiction commonly indulge in; +like Falstaff's, they resemble the father that begets them; they are +simple, homely, plump lies; plain working lies, in short. But in the +service of such a master as Don Quixote he develops rapidly, as we see +when he comes to palm off the three country wenches as Dulcinea and her +ladies in waiting. It is worth noticing how, flushed by his success in +this instance, he is tempted afterwards to try a flight beyond his powers +in his account of the journey on Clavileno. + +In the Second Part it is the spirit rather than the incidents of the +chivalry romances that is the subject of the burlesque. Enchantments of +the sort travestied in those of Dulcinea and the Trifaldi and the cave of +Montesinos play a leading part in the later and inferior romances, and +another distinguishing feature is caricatured in Don Quixote's blind +adoration of Dulcinea. In the romances of chivalry love is either a mere +animalism or a fantastic idolatry. Only a coarse-minded man would care to +make merry with the former, but to one of Cervantes' humour the latter +was naturally an attractive subject for ridicule. Like everything else in +these romances, it is a gross exaggeration of the real sentiment of +chivalry, but its peculiar extravagance is probably due to the influence +of those masters of hyperbole, the Provencal poets. When a troubadour +professed his readiness to obey his lady in all things, he made it +incumbent upon the next comer, if he wished to avoid the imputation of +tameness and commonplace, to declare himself the slave of her will, which +the next was compelled to cap by some still stronger declaration; and so +expressions of devotion went on rising one above the other like biddings +at an auction, and a conventional language of gallantry and theory of +love came into being that in time permeated the literature of Southern +Europe, and bore fruit, in one direction in the transcendental worship of +Beatrice and Laura, and in another in the grotesque idolatry which found +exponents in writers like Feliciano de Silva. This is what Cervantes +deals with in Don Quixote's passion for Dulcinea, and in no instance has +he carried out the burlesque more happily. By keeping Dulcinea in the +background, and making her a vague shadowy being of whose very existence +we are left in doubt, he invests Don Quixote's worship of her virtues and +charms with an additional extravagance, and gives still more point to the +caricature of the sentiment and language of the romances. + +One of the great merits of "Don Quixote," and one of the qualities that +have secured its acceptance by all classes of readers and made it the +most cosmopolitan of books, is its simplicity. There are, of course, +points obvious enough to a Spanish seventeenth century audience which do +not immediately strike a reader now-a-days, and Cervantes often takes it +for granted that an allusion will be generally understood which is only +intelligible to a few. For example, on many of his readers in Spain, and +most of his readers out of it, the significance of his choice of a +country for his hero is completely lost. It would be going too far to say +that no one can thoroughly comprehend "Don Quixote" without having seen +La Mancha, but undoubtedly even a glimpse of La Mancha will give an +insight into the meaning of Cervantes such as no commentator can give. Of +all the regions of Spain it is the last that would suggest the idea of +romance. Of all the dull central plateau of the Peninsula it is the +dullest tract. There is something impressive about the grim solitudes of +Estremadura; and if the plains of Leon and Old Castile are bald and +dreary, they are studded with old cities renowned in history and rich in +relics of the past. But there is no redeeming feature in the Manchegan +landscape; it has all the sameness of the desert without its dignity; the +few towns and villages that break its monotony are mean and commonplace, +there is nothing venerable about them, they have not even the +picturesqueness of poverty; indeed, Don Quixote's own village, +Argamasilla, has a sort of oppressive respectability in the prim +regularity of its streets and houses; everything is ignoble; the very +windmills are the ugliest and shabbiest of the windmill kind. + +To anyone who knew the country well, the mere style and title of "Don +Quixote of La Mancha" gave the key to the author's meaning at once. La +Mancha as the knight's country and scene of his chivalries is of a piece +with the pasteboard helmet, the farm-labourer on ass-back for a squire, +knighthood conferred by a rascally ventero, convicts taken for victims of +oppression, and the rest of the incongruities between Don Quixote's world +and the world he lived in, between things as he saw them and things as +they were. + +It is strange that this element of incongruity, underlying the whole +humour and purpose of the book, should have been so little heeded by the +majority of those who have undertaken to interpret "Don Quixote." It has +been completely overlooked, for example, by the illustrators. To be sure, +the great majority of the artists who illustrated "Don Quixote" knew +nothing whatever of Spain. To them a venta conveyed no idea but the +abstract one of a roadside inn, and they could not therefore do full +justice to the humour of Don Quixote's misconception in taking it for a +castle, or perceive the remoteness of all its realities from his ideal. +But even when better informed they seem to have no apprehension of the +full force of the discrepancy. Take, for instance, Gustave Dore's drawing +of Don Quixote watching his armour in the inn-yard. Whether or not the +Venta de Quesada on the Seville road is, as tradition maintains, the inn +described in "Don Quixote," beyond all question it was just such an +inn-yard as the one behind it that Cervantes had in his mind's eye, and +it was on just such a rude stone trough as that beside the primitive +draw-well in the corner that he meant Don Quixote to deposit his armour. +Gustave Dore makes it an elaborate fountain such as no arriero ever +watered his mules at in the corral of any venta in Spain, and thereby +entirely misses the point aimed at by Cervantes. It is the mean, prosaic, +commonplace character of all the surroundings and circumstances that +gives a significance to Don Quixote's vigil and the ceremony that +follows. + +Cervantes' humour is for the most part of that broader and simpler sort, +the strength of which lies in the perception of the incongruous. It is +the incongruity of Sancho in all his ways, words, and works, with the +ideas and aims of his master, quite as much as the wonderful vitality and +truth to nature of the character, that makes him the most humorous +creation in the whole range of fiction. That unsmiling gravity of which +Cervantes was the first great master, "Cervantes' serious air," which +sits naturally on Swift alone, perhaps, of later humourists, is essential +to this kind of humour, and here again Cervantes has suffered at the +hands of his interpreters. Nothing, unless indeed the coarse buffoonery +of Phillips, could be more out of place in an attempt to represent +Cervantes, than a flippant, would-be facetious style, like that of +Motteux's version for example, or the sprightly, jaunty air, French +translators sometimes adopt. It is the grave matter-of-factness of the +narrative, and the apparent unconsciousness of the author that he is +saying anything ludicrous, anything but the merest commonplace, that give +its peculiar flavour to the humour of Cervantes. His, in fact, is the +exact opposite of the humour of Sterne and the self-conscious humourists. +Even when Uncle Toby is at his best, you are always aware of "the man +Sterne" behind him, watching you over his shoulder to see what effect he +is producing. Cervantes always leaves you alone with Don Quixote and +Sancho. He and Swift and the great humourists always keep themselves out +of sight, or, more properly speaking, never think about themselves at +all, unlike our latter-day school of humourists, who seem to have revived +the old horse-collar method, and try to raise a laugh by some grotesque +assumption of ignorance, imbecility, or bad taste. + +It is true that to do full justice to Spanish humour in any other +language is well-nigh an impossibility. There is a natural gravity and a +sonorous stateliness about Spanish, be it ever so colloquial, that make +an absurdity doubly absurd, and give plausibility to the most +preposterous statement. This is what makes Sancho Panza's drollery the +despair of the conscientious translator. Sancho's curt comments can never +fall flat, but they lose half their flavour when transferred from their +native Castilian into any other medium. But if foreigners have failed to +do justice to the humour of Cervantes, they are no worse than his own +countrymen. Indeed, were it not for the Spanish peasant's relish of "Don +Quixote," one might be tempted to think that the great humourist was not +looked upon as a humourist at all in his own country. + +The craze of Don Quixote seems, in some instances, to have communicated +itself to his critics, making them see things that are not in the book +and run full tilt at phantoms that have no existence save in their own +imaginations. Like a good many critics now-a-days, they forget that +screams are not criticism, and that it is only vulgar tastes that are +influenced by strings of superlatives, three-piled hyperboles, and +pompous epithets. But what strikes one as particularly strange is that +while they deal in extravagant eulogies, and ascribe all manner of +imaginary ideas and qualities to Cervantes, they show no perception of +the quality that ninety-nine out of a hundred of his readers would rate +highest in him, and hold to be the one that raises him above all rivalry. + +To speak of "Don Quixote" as if it were merely a humorous book would be a +manifest misdescription. Cervantes at times makes it a kind of +commonplace book for occasional essays and criticisms, or for the +observations and reflections and gathered wisdom of a long and stirring +life. It is a mine of shrewd observation on mankind and human nature. +Among modern novels there may be, here and there, more elaborate studies +of character, but there is no book richer in individualised character. +What Coleridge said of Shakespeare in minimis is true of Cervantes; he +never, even for the most temporary purpose, puts forward a lay figure. +There is life and individuality in all his characters, however little +they may have to do, or however short a time they may be before the +reader. Samson Carrasco, the curate, Teresa Panza, Altisidora, even the +two students met on the road to the cave of Montesinos, all live and move +and have their being; and it is characteristic of the broad humanity of +Cervantes that there is not a hateful one among them all. Even poor +Maritornes, with her deplorable morals, has a kind heart of her own and +"some faint and distant resemblance to a Christian about her;" and as for +Sancho, though on dissection we fail to find a lovable trait in him, +unless it be a sort of dog-like affection for his master, who is there +that in his heart does not love him? + +But it is, after all, the humour of "Don Quixote" that distinguishes it +from all other books of the romance kind. It is this that makes it, as +one of the most judicial-minded of modern critics calls it, "the best +novel in the world beyond all comparison." It is its varied humour, +ranging from broad farce to comedy as subtle as Shakespeare's or +Moliere's that has naturalised it in every country where there are +readers, and made it a classic in every language that has a literature. + +!_ Some Commendatory Verses + +!_ Urganda the Unknown + +poem{ + +To the book of Don Quixote of la Mancha + + If to be welcomed by the good, + O Book! thou make thy steady aim, + No empty chatterer will dare + To question or dispute thy claim. + But if perchance thou hast a mind + To win of idiots approbation, + Lost labour will be thy reward, + Though they'll pretend appreciation. + + They say a goodly shade he finds + Who shelters 'neath a goodly tree; + And such a one thy kindly star + In Bejar bath provided thee: + A royal tree whose spreading boughs + A show of princely fruit display; + A tree that bears a noble Duke, + The Alexander of his day. + + Of a Manchegan gentleman + Thy purpose is to tell the story, + Relating how he lost his wits + O'er idle tales of love and glory, + Of "ladies, arms, and cavaliers:" + A new Orlando Furioso- + Innamorato, rather--who + Won Dulcinea del Toboso. + + Put no vain emblems on thy shield; + All figures--that is bragging play. + A modest dedication make, + And give no scoffer room to say, + "What! Alvaro de Luna here? + Or is it Hannibal again? + Or does King Francis at Madrid + Once more of destiny complain?" + + Since Heaven it hath not pleased on thee + Deep erudition to bestow, + Or black Latino's gift of tongues, + No Latin let thy pages show. + Ape not philosophy or wit, + Lest one who cannot comprehend, + Make a wry face at thee and ask, + "Why offer flowers to me, my friend?" + + Be not a meddler; no affair + Of thine the life thy neighbours lead: + Be prudent; oft the random jest + Recoils upon the jester's head. + Thy constant labour let it be + To earn thyself an honest name, + For fooleries preserved in print + Are perpetuity of shame. + + A further counsel bear in mind: + If that thy roof be made of glass, + It shows small wit to pick up stones + To pelt the people as they pass. + Win the attention of the wise, + And give the thinker food for thought; + Whoso indites frivolities, + Will but by simpletons be sought. + +}poem + +!_ Amadis of Gaul + +poem{ + +To Don Quixote of la Mancha + +SONNET + + Thou that didst imitate that life of mine + When I in lonely sadness on the great + Rock Pena Pobre sat disconsolate, + In self-imposed penance there to pine; + Thou, whose sole beverage was the bitter brine + Of thine own tears, and who withouten plate + Of silver, copper, tin, in lowly state + Off the bare earth and on earth's fruits didst dine; + Live thou, of thine eternal glory sure. + So long as on the round of the fourth sphere + The bright Apollo shall his coursers steer, + In thy renown thou shalt remain secure, + Thy country's name in story shall endure, + And thy sage author stand without a peer. + +}poem + +!_ Don Belianis of Greece + +poem{ + +To Don Quixote of la Mancha + +SONNET + + In slashing, hewing, cleaving, word and deed, + I was the foremost knight of chivalry, + Stout, bold, expert, as e'er the world did see; + Thousands from the oppressor's wrong I freed; + Great were my feats, eternal fame their meed; + In love I proved my truth and loyalty; + The hugest giant was a dwarf for me; + Ever to knighthood's laws gave I good heed. + My mastery the Fickle Goddess owned, + And even Chance, submitting to control, + Grasped by the forelock, yielded to my will. + Yet--though above yon horned moon enthroned + My fortune seems to sit--great Quixote, still + Envy of thy achievements fills my soul. + +}poem + +!_ The Lady of Oriana + +poem{ + +To Dulcinea del Toboso + +SONNET + + Oh, fairest Dulcinea, could it be! + It were a pleasant fancy to suppose so-- + Could Miraflores change to El Toboso, + And London's town to that which shelters thee! + Oh, could mine but acquire that livery + Of countless charms thy mind and body show so! + Or him, now famous grown--thou mad'st him grow so-- + Thy knight, in some dread combat could I see! + Oh, could I be released from Amadis + By exercise of such coy chastity + As led thee gentle Quixote to dismiss! + Then would my heavy sorrow turn to joy; + None would I envy, all would envy me, + And happiness be mine without alloy. + +}poem + +!_ Gandalin, Squire of Amadis of Gaul, + +poem{ + +To Sancho Panza, squire of Don Quixote + +SONNET + + All hail, illustrious man! Fortune, when she + Bound thee apprentice to the esquire trade, + Her care and tenderness of thee displayed, + Shaping thy course from misadventure free. + No longer now doth proud knight-errantry + Regard with scorn the sickle and the spade; + Of towering arrogance less count is made + Than of plain esquire-like simplicity. + I envy thee thy Dapple, and thy name, + And those alforjas thou wast wont to stuff + With comforts that thy providence proclaim. + Excellent Sancho! hail to thee again! + To thee alone the Ovid of our Spain + Does homage with the rustic kiss and cuff. + +}poem + +!_ From el Donoso, the Motley Poet, + +poem{ + +On Sancho Panza and Rocinante + +ON SANCHO + +I am the esquire Sancho Pan-- +Who served Don Quixote of La Man--; +But from his service I retreat-, +Resolved to pass my life discreet-; +For Villadiego, called the Si--, +Maintained that only in reti-- +Was found the secret of well-be--, +According to the "Celesti--:" +A book divine, except for sin-- +By speech too plain, in my opin-- + +ON ROCINANTE + +I am that Rocinante fa--, +Great-grandson of great Babie--, +Who, all for being lean and bon--, +Had one Don Quixote for an own--; +But if I matched him well in weak--, +I never took short commons meek--, +But kept myself in corn by steal--, +A trick I learned from Lazaril--, +When with a piece of straw so neat-- +The blind man of his wine he cheat--. + +}poem + +!_ Orlando Furioso + +poem{ + +To Don Quixote of La Mancha + +SONNET + + If thou art not a Peer, peer thou hast none; + Among a thousand Peers thou art a peer; + Nor is there room for one when thou art near, + Unvanquished victor, great unconquered one! + Orlando, by Angelica undone, + Am I; o'er distant seas condemned to steer, + And to Fame's altars as an offering bear + Valour respected by Oblivion. + I cannot be thy rival, for thy fame + And prowess rise above all rivalry, + Albeit both bereft of wits we go. + But, though the Scythian or the Moor to tame + Was not thy lot, still thou dost rival me: + Love binds us in a fellowship of woe. + +}poem + +!_ The Knight of Phoebus + +poem{ + +To Don Quixote of La Mancha + + My sword was not to be compared with thine + Phoebus of Spain, marvel of courtesy, + Nor with thy famous arm this hand of mine + That smote from east to west as lightnings fly. + I scorned all empire, and that monarchy + The rosy east held out did I resign + For one glance of Claridiana's eye, + The bright Aurora for whose love I pine. + A miracle of constancy my love; + And banished by her ruthless cruelty, + This arm had might the rage of Hell to tame. + But, Gothic Quixote, happier thou dost prove, + For thou dost live in Dulcinea's name, + And famous, honoured, wise, she lives in thee. + +}poem + +!_ From Solisdan + +poem{ + +To Don Quixote of La Mancha + +SONNET + + Your fantasies, Sir Quixote, it is true, + That crazy brain of yours have quite upset, + But aught of base or mean hath never yet + Been charged by any in reproach to you. + Your deeds are open proof in all men's view; + For you went forth injustice to abate, + And for your pains sore drubbings did you get + From many a rascally and ruffian crew. + If the fair Dulcinea, your heart's queen, + Be unrelenting in her cruelty, + If still your woe be powerless to move her, + In such hard case your comfort let it be + That Sancho was a sorry go-between: + A booby he, hard-hearted she, and you no lover. + +}poem + +!_ Dialogue + +poem{ + +Between Babieca and Rocinante + +SONNET + +B. "How comes it, Rocinante, you're so lean?" +R. "I'm underfed, with overwork I'm worn." +B. "But what becomes of all the hay and corn?" +R. "My master gives me none; he's much too mean." +B. "Come, come, you show ill-breeding, sir, I ween; + 'T is like an ass your master thus to scorn." +R. He is an ass, will die an ass, an ass was born; + Why, he's in love; what's what's plainer to be seen?" +B. "To be in love is folly?"--R. "No great sense." +B. "You're metaphysical."--R. "From want of food." +B. "Rail at the squire, then."--R. "Why, what's the good? + I might indeed complain of him, I grant ye, + But, squire or master, where's the difference? + They're both as sorry hacks as Rocinante." + +}poem + +1~ The Author's Preface + +Idle reader: thou mayest believe me without any oath that I would this +book, as it is the child of my brain, were the fairest, gayest, and +cleverest that could be imagined. But I could not counteract Nature's law +that everything shall beget its like; and what, then, could this sterile, +illtilled wit of mine beget but the story of a dry, shrivelled, whimsical +offspring, full of thoughts of all sorts and such as never came into any +other imagination--just what might be begotten in a prison, where every +misery is lodged and every doleful sound makes its dwelling? +Tranquillity, a cheerful retreat, pleasant fields, bright skies, +murmuring brooks, peace of mind, these are the things that go far to make +even the most barren muses fertile, and bring into the world births that +fill it with wonder and delight. Sometimes when a father has an ugly, +loutish son, the love he bears him so blindfolds his eyes that he does +not see his defects, or, rather, takes them for gifts and charms of mind +and body, and talks of them to his friends as wit and grace. I, +however--for though I pass for the father, I am but the stepfather to +"Don Quixote"--have no desire to go with the current of custom, or to +implore thee, dearest reader, almost with tears in my eyes, as others do, +to pardon or excuse the defects thou wilt perceive in this child of mine. +Thou art neither its kinsman nor its friend, thy soul is thine own and +thy will as free as any man's, whate'er he be, thou art in thine own +house and master of it as much as the king of his taxes and thou knowest +the common saying, "Under my cloak I kill the king;" all which exempts +and frees thee from every consideration and obligation, and thou canst +say what thou wilt of the story without fear of being abused for any ill +or rewarded for any good thou mayest say of it. + +My wish would be simply to present it to thee plain and unadorned, +without any embellishment of preface or uncountable muster of customary +sonnets, epigrams, and eulogies, such as are commonly put at the +beginning of books. For I can tell thee, though composing it cost me some +labour, I found none greater than the making of this Preface thou art now +reading. Many times did I take up my pen to write it, and many did I lay +it down again, not knowing what to write. One of these times, as I was +pondering with the paper before me, a pen in my ear, my elbow on the +desk, and my cheek in my hand, thinking of what I should say, there came +in unexpectedly a certain lively, clever friend of mine, who, seeing me +so deep in thought, asked the reason; to which I, making no mystery of +it, answered that I was thinking of the Preface I had to make for the +story of "Don Quixote," which so troubled me that I had a mind not to +make any at all, nor even publish the achievements of so noble a knight. + +"For, how could you expect me not to feel uneasy about what that ancient +lawgiver they call the Public will say when it sees me, after slumbering +so many years in the silence of oblivion, coming out now with all my +years upon my back, and with a book as dry as a rush, devoid of +invention, meagre in style, poor in thoughts, wholly wanting in learning +and wisdom, without quotations in the margin or annotations at the end, +after the fashion of other books I see, which, though all fables and +profanity, are so full of maxims from Aristotle, and Plato, and the whole +herd of philosophers, that they fill the readers with amazement and +convince them that the authors are men of learning, erudition, and +eloquence. And then, when they quote the Holy Scriptures!--anyone would +say they are St. Thomases or other doctors of the Church, observing as +they do a decorum so ingenious that in one sentence they describe a +distracted lover and in the next deliver a devout little sermon that it +is a pleasure and a treat to hear and read. Of all this there will be +nothing in my book, for I have nothing to quote in the margin or to note +at the end, and still less do I know what authors I follow in it, to +place them at the beginning, as all do, under the letters A, B, C, +beginning with Aristotle and ending with Xenophon, or Zoilus, or Zeuxis, +though one was a slanderer and the other a painter. Also my book must do +without sonnets at the beginning, at least sonnets whose authors are +dukes, marquises, counts, bishops, ladies, or famous poets. Though if I +were to ask two or three obliging friends, I know they would give me +them, and such as the productions of those that have the highest +reputation in our Spain could not equal. + +"In short, my friend," I continued, "I am determined that Senor Don +Quixote shall remain buried in the archives of his own La Mancha until +Heaven provide some one to garnish him with all those things he stands in +need of; because I find myself, through my shallowness and want of +learning, unequal to supplying them, and because I am by nature shy and +careless about hunting for authors to say what I myself can say without +them. Hence the cogitation and abstraction you found me in, and reason +enough, what you have heard from me." + +Hearing this, my friend, giving himself a slap on the forehead and +breaking into a hearty laugh, exclaimed, "Before God, Brother, now am I +disabused of an error in which I have been living all this long time I +have known you, all through which I have taken you to be shrewd and +sensible in all you do; but now I see you are as far from that as the +heaven is from the earth. It is possible that things of so little moment +and so easy to set right can occupy and perplex a ripe wit like yours, +fit to break through and crush far greater obstacles? By my faith, this +comes, not of any want of ability, but of too much indolence and too +little knowledge of life. Do you want to know if I am telling the truth? +Well, then, attend to me, and you will see how, in the opening and +shutting of an eye, I sweep away all your difficulties, and supply all +those deficiencies which you say check and discourage you from bringing +before the world the story of your famous Don Quixote, the light and +mirror of all knight-errantry." + +"Say on," said I, listening to his talk; "how do you propose to make up +for my diffidence, and reduce to order this chaos of perplexity I am in?" + +To which he made answer, "Your first difficulty about the sonnets, +epigrams, or complimentary verses which you want for the beginning, and +which ought to be by persons of importance and rank, can be removed if +you yourself take a little trouble to make them; you can afterwards +baptise them, and put any name you like to them, fathering them on +Prester John of the Indies or the Emperor of Trebizond, who, to my +knowledge, were said to have been famous poets: and even if they were +not, and any pedants or bachelors should attack you and question the +fact, never care two maravedis for that, for even if they prove a lie +against you they cannot cut off the hand you wrote it with. + +"As to references in the margin to the books and authors from whom you +take the aphorisms and sayings you put into your story, it is only +contriving to fit in nicely any sentences or scraps of Latin you may +happen to have by heart, or at any rate that will not give you much +trouble to look up; so as, when you speak of freedom and captivity, to +insert + +_Non bene pro toto libertas venditur auro;_ + +and then refer in the margin to Horace, or whoever said it; or, if you +allude to the power of death, to come in with-- + +_Pallida mors Aequo pulsat pede pauperum tabernas, +Regumque turres._ + +"If it be friendship and the love God bids us bear to our enemy, go at +once to the Holy Scriptures, which you can do with a very small amount of +research, and quote no less than the words of God himself: Ego autem dico +vobis: diligite inimicos vestros. If you speak of evil thoughts, turn to +the Gospel: De corde exeunt cogitationes malae. If of the fickleness of +friends, there is Cato, who will give you his distich: + +_Donec eris felix multos numerabis amicos, +Tempora si fuerint nubila, solus eris._ + +"With these and such like bits of Latin they will take you for a +grammarian at all events, and that now-a-days is no small honour and +profit. + +"With regard to adding annotations at the end of the book, you may safely +do it in this way. If you mention any giant in your book contrive that it +shall be the giant Goliath, and with this alone, which will cost you +almost nothing, you have a grand note, for you can put--The giant Golias +or Goliath was a Philistine whom the shepherd David slew by a mighty +stone-cast in the Terebinth valley, as is related in the Book of +Kings--in the chapter where you find it written. + +"Next, to prove yourself a man of erudition in polite literature and +cosmography, manage that the river Tagus shall be named in your story, +and there you are at once with another famous annotation, setting +forth--The river Tagus was so called after a King of Spain: it has its +source in such and such a place and falls into the ocean, kissing the +walls of the famous city of Lisbon, and it is a common belief that it has +golden sands, etc. If you should have anything to do with robbers, I will +give you the story of Cacus, for I have it by heart; if with loose women, +there is the Bishop of Mondonedo, who will give you the loan of Lamia, +Laida, and Flora, any reference to whom will bring you great credit; if +with hard-hearted ones, Ovid will furnish you with Medea; if with witches +or enchantresses, Homer has Calypso, and Virgil Circe; if with valiant +captains, Julius Caesar himself will lend you himself in his own +'Commentaries,' and Plutarch will give you a thousand Alexanders. If you +should deal with love, with two ounces you may know of Tuscan you can go +to Leon the Hebrew, who will supply you to your heart's content; or if +you should not care to go to foreign countries you have at home Fonseca's +'Of the Love of God,' in which is condensed all that you or the most +imaginative mind can want on the subject. In short, all you have to do is +to manage to quote these names, or refer to these stories I have +mentioned, and leave it to me to insert the annotations and quotations, +and I swear by all that's good to fill your margins and use up four +sheets at the end of the book. + +"Now let us come to those references to authors which other books have, +and you want for yours. The remedy for this is very simple: You have only +to look out for some book that quotes them all, from A to Z as you say +yourself, and then insert the very same alphabet in your book, and though +the imposition may be plain to see, because you have so little need to +borrow from them, that is no matter; there will probably be some simple +enough to believe that you have made use of them all in this plain, +artless story of yours. At any rate, if it answers no other purpose, this +long catalogue of authors will serve to give a surprising look of +authority to your book. Besides, no one will trouble himself to verify +whether you have followed them or whether you have not, being no way +concerned in it; especially as, if I mistake not, this book of yours has +no need of any one of those things you say it wants, for it is, from +beginning to end, an attack upon the books of chivalry, of which +Aristotle never dreamt, nor St. Basil said a word, nor Cicero had any +knowledge; nor do the niceties of truth nor the observations of astrology +come within the range of its fanciful vagaries; nor have geometrical +measurements or refutations of the arguments used in rhetoric anything to +do with it; nor does it mean to preach to anybody, mixing up things human +and divine, a sort of motley in which no Christian understanding should +dress itself. It has only to avail itself of truth to nature in its +composition, and the more perfect the imitation the better the work will +be. And as this piece of yours aims at nothing more than to destroy the +authority and influence which books of chivalry have in the world and +with the public, there is no need for you to go a-begging for aphorisms +from philosophers, precepts from Holy Scripture, fables from poets, +speeches from orators, or miracles from saints; but merely to take care +that your style and diction run musically, pleasantly, and plainly, with +clear, proper, and well-placed words, setting forth your purpose to the +best of your power, and putting your ideas intelligibly, without +confusion or obscurity. Strive, too, that in reading your story the +melancholy may be moved to laughter, and the merry made merrier still; +that the simple shall not be wearied, that the judicious shall admire the +invention, that the grave shall not despise it, nor the wise fail to +praise it. Finally, keep your aim fixed on the destruction of that +ill-founded edifice of the books of chivalry, hated by some and praised +by many more; for if you succeed in this you will have achieved no small +success." + +In profound silence I listened to what my friend said, and his +observations made such an impression on me that, without attempting to +question them, I admitted their soundness, and out of them I determined +to make this Preface; wherein, gentle reader, thou wilt perceive my +friend's good sense, my good fortune in finding such an adviser in such a +time of need, and what thou hast gained in receiving, without addition or +alteration, the story of the famous Don Quixote of La Mancha, who is held +by all the inhabitants of the district of the Campo de Montiel to have +been the chastest lover and the bravest knight that has for many years +been seen in that neighbourhood. I have no desire to magnify the service +I render thee in making thee acquainted with so renowned and honoured a +knight, but I do desire thy thanks for the acquaintance thou wilt make +with the famous Sancho Panza, his squire, in whom, to my thinking, I have +given thee condensed all the squirely drolleries that are scattered +through the swarm of the vain books of chivalry. And so--may God give +thee health, and not forget me. Vale. + +1~ Dedication of Volume I + +TO THE DUKE OF BEJAR, MARQUIS OF GIBRALEON, COUNT OF BENALCAZAR AND +BANARES, VICECOUNT OF THE PUEBLA DE ALCOCER, MASTER OF THE TOWNS OF +CAPILLA, CURIEL AND BURGUILLOS + +In belief of the good reception and honours that Your Excellency bestows +on all sort of books, as prince so inclined to favor good arts, chiefly +those who by their nobleness do not submit to the service and bribery of +the vulgar, I have determined bringing to light The Ingenious Gentleman +Don Quixote of la Mancha, in shelter of Your Excellency's glamorous name, +to whom, with the obeisance I owe to such grandeur, I pray to receive it +agreeably under his protection, so that in this shadow, though deprived +of that precious ornament of elegance and erudition that clothe the works +composed in the houses of those who know, it dares appear with assurance +in the judgment of some who, trespassing the bounds of their own +ignorance, use to condemn with more rigour and less justice the writings +of others. It is my earnest hope that Your Excellency's good counsel in +regard to my honourable purpose, will not disdain the littleness of so +humble a service. + +Miguel de Cervantes + +VOLUME I. + +Chapter I. - +Which treats of the character and pursuits of the famous gentleman Don +Quixote of La Mancha + +In a village of La Mancha, the name of which I have no desire to call to +mind, there lived not long since one of those gentlemen that keep a lance +in the lance-rack, an old buckler, a lean hack, and a greyhound for +coursing. An olla of rather more beef than mutton, a salad on most +nights, scraps on Saturdays, lentils on Fridays, and a pigeon or so extra +on Sundays, made away with three-quarters of his income. The rest of it +went in a doublet of fine cloth and velvet breeches and shoes to match +for holidays, while on week-days he made a brave figure in his best +homespun. He had in his house a housekeeper past forty, a niece under +twenty, and a lad for the field and market-place, who used to saddle the +hack as well as handle the bill-hook. The age of this gentleman of ours +was bordering on fifty; he was of a hardy habit, spare, gaunt-featured, a +very early riser and a great sportsman. They will have it his surname was +Quixada or Quesada (for here there is some difference of opinion among +the authors who write on the subject), although from reasonable +conjectures it seems plain that he was called Quexana. This, however, is +of but little importance to our tale; it will be enough not to stray a +hair's breadth from the truth in the telling of it. + +You must know, then, that the above-named gentleman whenever he was at +leisure (which was mostly all the year round) gave himself up to reading +books of chivalry with such ardour and avidity that he almost entirely +neglected the pursuit of his field-sports, and even the management of his +property; and to such a pitch did his eagerness and infatuation go that +he sold many an acre of tillageland to buy books of chivalry to read, and +brought home as many of them as he could get. But of all there were none +he liked so well as those of the famous Feliciano de Silva's composition, +for their lucidity of style and complicated conceits were as pearls in +his sight, particularly when in his reading he came upon courtships and +cartels, where he often found passages like "the reason of the unreason +with which my reason is afflicted so weakens my reason that with reason I +murmur at your beauty;" or again, "the high heavens, that of your +divinity divinely fortify you with the stars, render you deserving of the +desert your greatness deserves." Over conceits of this sort the poor +gentleman lost his wits, and used to lie awake striving to understand +them and worm the meaning out of them; what Aristotle himself could not +have made out or extracted had he come to life again for that special +purpose. He was not at all easy about the wounds which Don Belianis gave +and took, because it seemed to him that, great as were the surgeons who +had cured him, he must have had his face and body covered all over with +seams and scars. He commended, however, the author's way of ending his +book with the promise of that interminable adventure, and many a time was +he tempted to take up his pen and finish it properly as is there +proposed, which no doubt he would have done, and made a successful piece +of work of it too, had not greater and more absorbing thoughts prevented +him. + +Many an argument did he have with the curate of his village (a learned +man, and a graduate of Siguenza) as to which had been the better knight, +Palmerin of England or Amadis of Gaul. Master Nicholas, the village +barber, however, used to say that neither of them came up to the Knight +of Phoebus, and that if there was any that could compare with him it was +Don Galaor, the brother of Amadis of Gaul, because he had a spirit that +was equal to every occasion, and was no finikin knight, nor lachrymose +like his brother, while in the matter of valour he was not a whit behind +him. In short, he became so absorbed in his books that he spent his +nights from sunset to sunrise, and his days from dawn to dark, poring +over them; and what with little sleep and much reading his brains got so +dry that he lost his wits. His fancy grew full of what he used to read +about in his books, enchantments, quarrels, battles, challenges, wounds, +wooings, loves, agonies, and all sorts of impossible nonsense; and it so +possessed his mind that the whole fabric of invention and fancy he read +of was true, that to him no history in the world had more reality in it. +He used to say the Cid Ruy Diaz was a very good knight, but that he was +not to be compared with the Knight of the Burning Sword who with one +back-stroke cut in half two fierce and monstrous giants. He thought more +of Bernardo del Carpio because at Roncesvalles he slew Roland in spite of +enchantments, availing himself of the artifice of Hercules when he +strangled Antaeus the son of Terra in his arms. He approved highly of the +giant Morgante, because, although of the giant breed which is always +arrogant and ill-conditioned, he alone was affable and well-bred. But +above all he admired Reinaldos of Montalban, especially when he saw him +sallying forth from his castle and robbing everyone he met, and when +beyond the seas he stole that image of Mahomet which, as his history +says, was entirely of gold. To have a bout of kicking at that traitor of +a Ganelon he would have given his housekeeper, and his niece into the +bargain. + +In short, his wits being quite gone, he hit upon the strangest notion +that ever madman in this world hit upon, and that was that he fancied it +was right and requisite, as well for the support of his own honour as for +the service of his country, that he should make a knight-errant of +himself, roaming the world over in full armour and on horseback in quest +of adventures, and putting in practice himself all that he had read of as +being the usual practices of knights-errant; righting every kind of +wrong, and exposing himself to peril and danger from which, in the issue, +he was to reap eternal renown and fame. Already the poor man saw himself +crowned by the might of his arm Emperor of Trebizond at least; and so, +led away by the intense enjoyment he found in these pleasant fancies, he +set himself forthwith to put his scheme into execution. + +The first thing he did was to clean up some armour that had belonged to +his great-grandfather, and had been for ages lying forgotten in a corner +eaten with rust and covered with mildew. He scoured and polished it as +best he could, but he perceived one great defect in it, that it had no +closed helmet, nothing but a simple morion. This deficiency, however, his +ingenuity supplied, for he contrived a kind of half-helmet of pasteboard +which, fitted on to the morion, looked like a whole one. It is true that, +in order to see if it was strong and fit to stand a cut, he drew his +sword and gave it a couple of slashes, the first of which undid in an +instant what had taken him a week to do. The ease with which he had +knocked it to pieces disconcerted him somewhat, and to guard against that +danger he set to work again, fixing bars of iron on the inside until he +was satisfied with its strength; and then, not caring to try any more +experiments with it, he passed it and adopted it as a helmet of the most +perfect construction. + +He next proceeded to inspect his hack, which, with more quartos than a +real and more blemishes than the steed of Gonela, that "tantum pellis et +ossa fuit," surpassed in his eyes the Bucephalus of Alexander or the +Babieca of the Cid. Four days were spent in thinking what name to give +him, because (as he said to himself) it was not right that a horse +belonging to a knight so famous, and one with such merits of his own, +should be without some distinctive name, and he strove to adapt it so as +to indicate what he had been before belonging to a knight-errant, and +what he then was; for it was only reasonable that, his master taking a +new character, he should take a new name, and that it should be a +distinguished and full-sounding one, befitting the new order and calling +he was about to follow. And so, after having composed, struck out, +rejected, added to, unmade, and remade a multitude of names out of his +memory and fancy, he decided upon calling him Rocinante, a name, to his +thinking, lofty, sonorous, and significant of his condition as a hack +before he became what he now was, the first and foremost of all the hacks +in the world. + +Having got a name for his horse so much to his taste, he was anxious to +get one for himself, and he was eight days more pondering over this +point, till at last he made up his mind to call himself "Don Quixote," +whence, as has been already said, the authors of this veracious history +have inferred that his name must have been beyond a doubt Quixada, and +not Quesada as others would have it. Recollecting, however, that the +valiant Amadis was not content to call himself curtly Amadis and nothing +more, but added the name of his kingdom and country to make it famous, +and called himself Amadis of Gaul, he, like a good knight, resolved to +add on the name of his, and to style himself Don Quixote of La Mancha, +whereby, he considered, he described accurately his origin and country, +and did honour to it in taking his surname from it. + +So then, his armour being furbished, his morion turned into a helmet, his +hack christened, and he himself confirmed, he came to the conclusion that +nothing more was needed now but to look out for a lady to be in love +with; for a knight-errant without love was like a tree without leaves or +fruit, or a body without a soul. As he said to himself, "If, for my sins, +or by my good fortune, I come across some giant hereabouts, a common +occurrence with knights-errant, and overthrow him in one onslaught, or +cleave him asunder to the waist, or, in short, vanquish and subdue him, +will it not be well to have some one I may send him to as a present, that +he may come in and fall on his knees before my sweet lady, and in a +humble, submissive voice say, 'I am the giant Caraculiambro, lord of the +island of Malindrania, vanquished in single combat by the never +sufficiently extolled knight Don Quixote of La Mancha, who has commanded +me to present myself before your Grace, that your Highness dispose of me +at your pleasure'?" Oh, how our good gentleman enjoyed the delivery of +this speech, especially when he had thought of some one to call his Lady! +There was, so the story goes, in a village near his own a very +good-looking farm-girl with whom he had been at one time in love, though, +so far as is known, she never knew it nor gave a thought to the matter. +Her name was Aldonza Lorenzo, and upon her he thought fit to confer the +title of Lady of his Thoughts; and after some search for a name which +should not be out of harmony with her own, and should suggest and +indicate that of a princess and great lady, he decided upon calling her +Dulcinea del Toboso--she being of El Toboso--a name, to his mind, +musical, uncommon, and significant, like all those he had already +bestowed upon himself and the things belonging to him. + +Chapter II. - +Which Treats of the first sally the ingenious Don Quixote made from home + +These preliminaries settled, he did not care to put off any longer the +execution of his design, urged on to it by the thought of all the world +was losing by his delay, seeing what wrongs he intended to right, +grievances to redress, injustices to repair, abuses to remove, and duties +to discharge. So, without giving notice of his intention to anyone, and +without anybody seeing him, one morning before the dawning of the day +(which was one of the hottest of the month of July) he donned his suit of +armour, mounted Rocinante with his patched-up helmet on, braced his +buckler, took his lance, and by the back door of the yard sallied forth +upon the plain in the highest contentment and satisfaction at seeing with +what ease he had made a beginning with his grand purpose. But scarcely +did he find himself upon the open plain, when a terrible thought struck +him, one all but enough to make him abandon the enterprise at the very +outset. It occurred to him that he had not been dubbed a knight, and that +according to the law of chivalry he neither could nor ought to bear arms +against any knight; and that even if he had been, still he ought, as a +novice knight, to wear white armour, without a device upon the shield +until by his prowess he had earned one. These reflections made him waver +in his purpose, but his craze being stronger than any reasoning, he made +up his mind to have himself dubbed a knight by the first one he came +across, following the example of others in the same case, as he had read +in the books that brought him to this pass. As for white armour, he +resolved, on the first opportunity, to scour his until it was whiter than +an ermine; and so comforting himself he pursued his way, taking that +which his horse chose, for in this he believed lay the essence of +adventures. + +Thus setting out, our new-fledged adventurer paced along, talking to +himself and saying, "Who knows but that in time to come, when the +veracious history of my famous deeds is made known, the sage who writes +it, when he has to set forth my first sally in the early morning, will do +it after this fashion? 'Scarce had the rubicund Apollo spread o'er the +face of the broad spacious earth the golden threads of his bright hair, +scarce had the little birds of painted plumage attuned their notes to +hail with dulcet and mellifluous harmony the coming of the rosy Dawn, +that, deserting the soft couch of her jealous spouse, was appearing to +mortals at the gates and balconies of the Manchegan horizon, when the +renowned knight Don Quixote of La Mancha, quitting the lazy down, mounted +his celebrated steed Rocinante and began to traverse the ancient and +famous Campo de Montiel;'" which in fact he was actually traversing. +"Happy the age, happy the time," he continued, "in which shall be made +known my deeds of fame, worthy to be moulded in brass, carved in marble, +limned in pictures, for a memorial for ever. And thou, O sage magician, +whoever thou art, to whom it shall fall to be the chronicler of this +wondrous history, forget not, I entreat thee, my good Rocinante, the +constant companion of my ways and wanderings." Presently he broke out +again, as if he were love-stricken in earnest, "O Princess Dulcinea, lady +of this captive heart, a grievous wrong hast thou done me to drive me +forth with scorn, and with inexorable obduracy banish me from the +presence of thy beauty. O lady, deign to hold in remembrance this heart, +thy vassal, that thus in anguish pines for love of thee." + +So he went on stringing together these and other absurdities, all in the +style of those his books had taught him, imitating their language as well +as he could; and all the while he rode so slowly and the sun mounted so +rapidly and with such fervour that it was enough to melt his brains if he +had any. Nearly all day he travelled without anything remarkable +happening to him, at which he was in despair, for he was anxious to +encounter some one at once upon whom to try the might of his strong arm. + +Writers there are who say the first adventure he met with was that of +Puerto Lapice; others say it was that of the windmills; but what I have +ascertained on this point, and what I have found written in the annals of +La Mancha, is that he was on the road all day, and towards nightfall his +hack and he found themselves dead tired and hungry, when, looking all +around to see if he could discover any castle or shepherd's shanty where +he might refresh himself and relieve his sore wants, he perceived not far +out of his road an inn, which was as welcome as a star guiding him to the +portals, if not the palaces, of his redemption; and quickening his pace +he reached it just as night was setting in. At the door were standing two +young women, girls of the district as they call them, on their way to +Seville with some carriers who had chanced to halt that night at the inn; +and as, happen what might to our adventurer, everything he saw or imaged +seemed to him to be and to happen after the fashion of what he read of, +the moment he saw the inn he pictured it to himself as a castle with its +four turrets and pinnacles of shining silver, not forgetting the +drawbridge and moat and all the belongings usually ascribed to castles of +the sort. To this inn, which to him seemed a castle, he advanced, and at +a short distance from it he checked Rocinante, hoping that some dwarf +would show himself upon the battlements, and by sound of trumpet give +notice that a knight was approaching the castle. But seeing that they +were slow about it, and that Rocinante was in a hurry to reach the +stable, he made for the inn door, and perceived the two gay damsels who +were standing there, and who seemed to him to be two fair maidens or +lovely ladies taking their ease at the castle gate. + +At this moment it so happened that a swineherd who was going through the +stubbles collecting a drove of pigs (for, without any apology, that is +what they are called) gave a blast of his horn to bring them together, +and forthwith it seemed to Don Quixote to be what he was expecting, the +signal of some dwarf announcing his arrival; and so with prodigious +satisfaction he rode up to the inn and to the ladies, who, seeing a man +of this sort approaching in full armour and with lance and buckler, were +turning in dismay into the inn, when Don Quixote, guessing their fear by +their flight, raising his pasteboard visor, disclosed his dry dusty +visage, and with courteous bearing and gentle voice addressed them, "Your +ladyships need not fly or fear any rudeness, for that it belongs not to +the order of knighthood which I profess to offer to anyone, much less to +highborn maidens as your appearance proclaims you to be." The girls were +looking at him and straining their eyes to make out the features which +the clumsy visor obscured, but when they heard themselves called maidens, +a thing so much out of their line, they could not restrain their +laughter, which made Don Quixote wax indignant, and say, "Modesty becomes +the fair, and moreover laughter that has little cause is great silliness; +this, however, I say not to pain or anger you, for my desire is none +other than to serve you." + +The incomprehensible language and the unpromising looks of our cavalier +only increased the ladies' laughter, and that increased his irritation, +and matters might have gone farther if at that moment the landlord had +not come out, who, being a very fat man, was a very peaceful one. He, +seeing this grotesque figure clad in armour that did not match any more +than his saddle, bridle, lance, buckler, or corselet, was not at all +indisposed to join the damsels in their manifestations of amusement; but, +in truth, standing in awe of such a complicated armament, he thought it +best to speak him fairly, so he said, "Senor Caballero, if your worship +wants lodging, bating the bed (for there is not one in the inn) there is +plenty of everything else here." Don Quixote, observing the respectful +bearing of the Alcaide of the fortress (for so innkeeper and inn seemed +in his eyes), made answer, "Sir Castellan, for me anything will suffice, +for + +poem{ + +'My armour is my only wear, +My only rest the fray.'" + +}poem + +The host fancied he called him Castellan because he took him for a +"worthy of Castile," though he was in fact an Andalusian, and one from +the strand of San Lucar, as crafty a thief as Cacus and as full of tricks +as a student or a page. "In that case," said he, + +poem{ + +"'Your bed is on the flinty rock, +Your sleep to watch alway;' + +}poem + +and if so, you may dismount and safely reckon upon any quantity of +sleeplessness under this roof for a twelvemonth, not to say for a single +night." So saying, he advanced to hold the stirrup for Don Quixote, who +got down with great difficulty and exertion (for he had not broken his +fast all day), and then charged the host to take great care of his horse, +as he was the best bit of flesh that ever ate bread in this world. The +landlord eyed him over but did not find him as good as Don Quixote said, +nor even half as good; and putting him up in the stable, he returned to +see what might be wanted by his guest, whom the damsels, who had by this +time made their peace with him, were now relieving of his armour. They +had taken off his breastplate and backpiece, but they neither knew nor +saw how to open his gorget or remove his make-shift helmet, for he had +fastened it with green ribbons, which, as there was no untying the knots, +required to be cut. This, however, he would not by any means consent to, +so he remained all the evening with his helmet on, the drollest and +oddest figure that can be imagined; and while they were removing his +armour, taking the baggages who were about it for ladies of high degree +belonging to the castle, he said to them with great sprightliness: + +poem{ + +"Oh, never, surely, was there knight + So served by hand of dame, +As served was he, Don Quixote hight, + When from his town he came; +With maidens waiting on himself, + Princesses on his hack-- + +}poem + +or Rocinante, for that, ladies mine, is my horse's name, and Don Quixote +of La Mancha is my own; for though I had no intention of declaring myself +until my achievements in your service and honour had made me known, the +necessity of adapting that old ballad of Lancelot to the present occasion +has given you the knowledge of my name altogether prematurely. A time, +however, will come for your ladyships to command and me to obey, and then +the might of my arm will show my desire to serve you." + +The girls, who were not used to hearing rhetoric of this sort, had +nothing to say in reply; they only asked him if he wanted anything to +eat. "I would gladly eat a bit of something," said Don Quixote, "for I +feel it would come very seasonably." The day happened to be a Friday, and +in the whole inn there was nothing but some pieces of the fish they call +in Castile "abadejo," in Andalusia "bacallao," and in some places +"curadillo," and in others "troutlet;" so they asked him if he thought he +could eat troutlet, for there was no other fish to give him. "If there be +troutlets enough," said Don Quixote, "they will be the same thing as a +trout; for it is all one to me whether I am given eight reals in small +change or a piece of eight; moreover, it may be that these troutlets are +like veal, which is better than beef, or kid, which is better than goat. +But whatever it be let it come quickly, for the burden and pressure of +arms cannot be borne without support to the inside." They laid a table +for him at the door of the inn for the sake of the air, and the host +brought him a portion of ill-soaked and worse cooked stockfish, and a +piece of bread as black and mouldy as his own armour; but a laughable +sight it was to see him eating, for having his helmet on and the beaver +up, he could not with his own hands put anything into his mouth unless +some one else placed it there, and this service one of the ladies +rendered him. But to give him anything to drink was impossible, or would +have been so had not the landlord bored a reed, and putting one end in +his mouth poured the wine into him through the other; all which he bore +with patience rather than sever the ribbons of his helmet. + +While this was going on there came up to the inn a sowgelder, who, as he +approached, sounded his reed pipe four or five times, and thereby +completely convinced Don Quixote that he was in some famous castle, and +that they were regaling him with music, and that the stockfish was trout, +the bread the whitest, the wenches ladies, and the landlord the castellan +of the castle; and consequently he held that his enterprise and sally had +been to some purpose. But still it distressed him to think he had not +been dubbed a knight, for it was plain to him he could not lawfully +engage in any adventure without receiving the order of knighthood. + +Chapter III. - +Wherein is related the droll way in which Don Quixote had himself dubbed +a Knight + +Harassed by this reflection, he made haste with his scanty pothouse +supper, and having finished it called the landlord, and shutting himself +into the stable with him, fell on his knees before him, saying, "From +this spot I rise not, valiant knight, until your courtesy grants me the +boon I seek, one that will redound to your praise and the benefit of the +human race." The landlord, seeing his guest at his feet and hearing a +speech of this kind, stood staring at him in bewilderment, not knowing +what to do or say, and entreating him to rise, but all to no purpose +until he had agreed to grant the boon demanded of him. "I looked for no +less, my lord, from your High Magnificence," replied Don Quixote, "and I +have to tell you that the boon I have asked and your liberality has +granted is that you shall dub me knight to-morrow morning, and that +to-night I shall watch my arms in the chapel of this your castle; thus +tomorrow, as I have said, will be accomplished what I so much desire, +enabling me lawfully to roam through all the four quarters of the world +seeking adventures on behalf of those in distress, as is the duty of +chivalry and of knights-errant like myself, whose ambition is directed to +such deeds." + +The landlord, who, as has been mentioned, was something of a wag, and had +already some suspicion of his guest's want of wits, was quite convinced +of it on hearing talk of this kind from him, and to make sport for the +night he determined to fall in with his humour. So he told him he was +quite right in pursuing the object he had in view, and that such a motive +was natural and becoming in cavaliers as distinguished as he seemed and +his gallant bearing showed him to be; and that he himself in his younger +days had followed the same honourable calling, roaming in quest of +adventures in various parts of the world, among others the Curing-grounds +of Malaga, the Isles of Riaran, the Precinct of Seville, the Little +Market of Segovia, the Olivera of Valencia, the Rondilla of Granada, the +Strand of San Lucar, the Colt of Cordova, the Taverns of Toledo, and +divers other quarters, where he had proved the nimbleness of his feet and +the lightness of his fingers, doing many wrongs, cheating many widows, +ruining maids and swindling minors, and, in short, bringing himself under +the notice of almost every tribunal and court of justice in Spain; until +at last he had retired to this castle of his, where he was living upon +his property and upon that of others; and where he received all +knights-errant of whatever rank or condition they might be, all for the +great love he bore them and that they might share their substance with +him in return for his benevolence. He told him, moreover, that in this +castle of his there was no chapel in which he could watch his armour, as +it had been pulled down in order to be rebuilt, but that in a case of +necessity it might, he knew, be watched anywhere, and he might watch it +that night in a courtyard of the castle, and in the morning, God willing, +the requisite ceremonies might be performed so as to have him dubbed a +knight, and so thoroughly dubbed that nobody could be more so. He asked +if he had any money with him, to which Don Quixote replied that he had +not a farthing, as in the histories of knights-errant he had never read +of any of them carrying any. On this point the landlord told him he was +mistaken; for, though not recorded in the histories, because in the +author's opinion there was no need to mention anything so obvious and +necessary as money and clean shirts, it was not to be supposed therefore +that they did not carry them, and he might regard it as certain and +established that all knights-errant (about whom there were so many full +and unimpeachable books) carried well-furnished purses in case of +emergency, and likewise carried shirts and a little box of ointment to +cure the wounds they received. For in those plains and deserts where they +engaged in combat and came out wounded, it was not always that there was +some one to cure them, unless indeed they had for a friend some sage +magician to succour them at once by fetching through the air upon a cloud +some damsel or dwarf with a vial of water of such virtue that by tasting +one drop of it they were cured of their hurts and wounds in an instant +and left as sound as if they had not received any damage whatever. But in +case this should not occur, the knights of old took care to see that +their squires were provided with money and other requisites, such as lint +and ointments for healing purposes; and when it happened that knights had +no squires (which was rarely and seldom the case) they themselves carried +everything in cunning saddle-bags that were hardly seen on the horse's +croup, as if it were something else of more importance, because, unless +for some such reason, carrying saddle-bags was not very favourably +regarded among knights-errant. He therefore advised him (and, as his +godson so soon to be, he might even command him) never from that time +forth to travel without money and the usual requirements, and he would +find the advantage of them when he least expected it. + +Don Quixote promised to follow his advice scrupulously, and it was +arranged forthwith that he should watch his armour in a large yard at one +side of the inn; so, collecting it all together, Don Quixote placed it on +a trough that stood by the side of a well, and bracing his buckler on his +arm he grasped his lance and began with a stately air to march up and +down in front of the trough, and as he began his march night began to +fall. + +The landlord told all the people who were in the inn about the craze of +his guest, the watching of the armour, and the dubbing ceremony he +contemplated. Full of wonder at so strange a form of madness, they +flocked to see it from a distance, and observed with what composure he +sometimes paced up and down, or sometimes, leaning on his lance, gazed on +his armour without taking his eyes off it for ever so long; and as the +night closed in with a light from the moon so brilliant that it might vie +with his that lent it, everything the novice knight did was plainly seen +by all. + +Meanwhile one of the carriers who were in the inn thought fit to water +his team, and it was necessary to remove Don Quixote's armour as it lay +on the trough; but he seeing the other approach hailed him in a loud +voice, "O thou, whoever thou art, rash knight that comest to lay hands on +the armour of the most valorous errant that ever girt on sword, have a +care what thou dost; touch it not unless thou wouldst lay down thy life +as the penalty of thy rashness." The carrier gave no heed to these words +(and he would have done better to heed them if he had been heedful of his +health), but seizing it by the straps flung the armour some distance from +him. Seeing this, Don Quixote raised his eyes to heaven, and fixing his +thoughts, apparently, upon his lady Dulcinea, exclaimed, "Aid me, lady +mine, in this the first encounter that presents itself to this breast +which thou holdest in subjection; let not thy favour and protection fail +me in this first jeopardy;" and, with these words and others to the same +purpose, dropping his buckler he lifted his lance with both hands and +with it smote such a blow on the carrier's head that he stretched him on +the ground, so stunned that had he followed it up with a second there +would have been no need of a surgeon to cure him. This done, he picked up +his armour and returned to his beat with the same serenity as before. + +Shortly after this, another, not knowing what had happened (for the +carrier still lay senseless), came with the same object of giving water +to his mules, and was proceeding to remove the armour in order to clear +the trough, when Don Quixote, without uttering a word or imploring aid +from anyone, once more dropped his buckler and once more lifted his +lance, and without actually breaking the second carrier's head into +pieces, made more than three of it, for he laid it open in four. At the +noise all the people of the inn ran to the spot, and among them the +landlord. Seeing this, Don Quixote braced his buckler on his arm, and +with his hand on his sword exclaimed, "O Lady of Beauty, strength and +support of my faint heart, it is time for thee to turn the eyes of thy +greatness on this thy captive knight on the brink of so mighty an +adventure." By this he felt himself so inspired that he would not have +flinched if all the carriers in the world had assailed him. The comrades +of the wounded perceiving the plight they were in began from a distance +to shower stones on Don Quixote, who screened himself as best he could +with his buckler, not daring to quit the trough and leave his armour +unprotected. The landlord shouted to them to leave him alone, for he had +already told them that he was mad, and as a madman he would not be +accountable even if he killed them all. Still louder shouted Don Quixote, +calling them knaves and traitors, and the lord of the castle, who allowed +knights-errant to be treated in this fashion, a villain and a low-born +knight whom, had he received the order of knighthood, he would call to +account for his treachery. "But of you," he cried, "base and vile rabble, +I make no account; fling, strike, come on, do all ye can against me, ye +shall see what the reward of your folly and insolence will be." This he +uttered with so much spirit and boldness that he filled his assailants +with a terrible fear, and as much for this reason as at the persuasion of +the landlord they left off stoning him, and he allowed them to carry off +the wounded, and with the same calmness and composure as before resumed +the watch over his armour. + +But these freaks of his guest were not much to the liking of the +landlord, so he determined to cut matters short and confer upon him at +once the unlucky order of knighthood before any further misadventure +could occur; so, going up to him, he apologised for the rudeness which, +without his knowledge, had been offered to him by these low people, who, +however, had been well punished for their audacity. As he had already +told him, he said, there was no chapel in the castle, nor was it needed +for what remained to be done, for, as he understood the ceremonial of the +order, the whole point of being dubbed a knight lay in the accolade and +in the slap on the shoulder, and that could be administered in the middle +of a field; and that he had now done all that was needful as to watching +the armour, for all requirements were satisfied by a watch of two hours +only, while he had been more than four about it. Don Quixote believed it +all, and told him he stood there ready to obey him, and to make an end of +it with as much despatch as possible; for, if he were again attacked, and +felt himself to be dubbed knight, he would not, he thought, leave a soul +alive in the castle, except such as out of respect he might spare at his +bidding. + +Thus warned and menaced, the castellan forthwith brought out a book in +which he used to enter the straw and barley he served out to the +carriers, and, with a lad carrying a candle-end, and the two damsels +already mentioned, he returned to where Don Quixote stood, and bade him +kneel down. Then, reading from his account-book as if he were repeating +some devout prayer, in the middle of his delivery he raised his hand and +gave him a sturdy blow on the neck, and then, with his own sword, a smart +slap on the shoulder, all the while muttering between his teeth as if he +was saying his prayers. Having done this, he directed one of the ladies +to gird on his sword, which she did with great self-possession and +gravity, and not a little was required to prevent a burst of laughter at +each stage of the ceremony; but what they had already seen of the novice +knight's prowess kept their laughter within bounds. On girding him with +the sword the worthy lady said to him, "May God make your worship a very +fortunate knight, and grant you success in battle." Don Quixote asked her +name in order that he might from that time forward know to whom he was +beholden for the favour he had received, as he meant to confer upon her +some portion of the honour he acquired by the might of his arm. She +answered with great humility that she was called La Tolosa, and that she +was the daughter of a cobbler of Toledo who lived in the stalls of +Sanchobienaya, and that wherever she might be she would serve and esteem +him as her lord. Don Quixote said in reply that she would do him a favour +if thenceforward she assumed the "Don" and called herself Dona Tolosa. +She promised she would, and then the other buckled on his spur, and with +her followed almost the same conversation as with the lady of the sword. +He asked her name, and she said it was La Molinera, and that she was the +daughter of a respectable miller of Antequera; and of her likewise Don +Quixote requested that she would adopt the "Don" and call herself Dona +Molinera, making offers to her further services and favours. + +Having thus, with hot haste and speed, brought to a conclusion these +never-till-now-seen ceremonies, Don Quixote was on thorns until he saw +himself on horseback sallying forth in quest of adventures; and saddling +Rocinante at once he mounted, and embracing his host, as he returned +thanks for his kindness in knighting him, he addressed him in language so +extraordinary that it is impossible to convey an idea of it or report it. +The landlord, to get him out of the inn, replied with no less rhetoric +though with shorter words, and without calling upon him to pay the +reckoning let him go with a Godspeed. + +Chapter IV. - +Of what happened to our Knight when he left the inn + +Day was dawning when Don Quixote quitted the inn, so happy, so gay, so +exhilarated at finding himself now dubbed a knight, that his joy was like +to burst his horse-girths. However, recalling the advice of his host as +to the requisites he ought to carry with him, especially that referring +to money and shirts, he determined to go home and provide himself with +all, and also with a squire, for he reckoned upon securing a +farm-labourer, a neighbour of his, a poor man with a family, but very +well qualified for the office of squire to a knight. With this object he +turned his horse's head towards his village, and Rocinante, thus reminded +of his old quarters, stepped out so briskly that he hardly seemed to +tread the earth. + +He had not gone far, when out of a thicket on his right there seemed to +come feeble cries as of some one in distress, and the instant he heard +them he exclaimed, "Thanks be to heaven for the favour it accords me, +that it so soon offers me an opportunity of fulfilling the obligation I +have undertaken, and gathering the fruit of my ambition. These cries, no +doubt, come from some man or woman in want of help, and needing my aid +and protection;" and wheeling, he turned Rocinante in the direction +whence the cries seemed to proceed. He had gone but a few paces into the +wood, when he saw a mare tied to an oak, and tied to another, and +stripped from the waist upwards, a youth of about fifteen years of age, +from whom the cries came. Nor were they without cause, for a lusty farmer +was flogging him with a belt and following up every blow with scoldings +and commands, repeating, "Your mouth shut and your eyes open!" while the +youth made answer, "I won't do it again, master mine; by God's passion I +won't do it again, and I'll take more care of the flock another time." + +Seeing what was going on, Don Quixote said in an angry voice, +"Discourteous knight, it ill becomes you to assail one who cannot defend +himself; mount your steed and take your lance" (for there was a lance +leaning against the oak to which the mare was tied), "and I will make you +know that you are behaving as a coward." The farmer, seeing before him +this figure in full armour brandishing a lance over his head, gave +himself up for dead, and made answer meekly, "Sir Knight, this youth that +I am chastising is my servant, employed by me to watch a flock of sheep +that I have hard by, and he is so careless that I lose one every day, and +when I punish him for his carelessness and knavery he says I do it out of +niggardliness, to escape paying him the wages I owe him, and before God, +and on my soul, he lies." + +"Lies before me, base clown!" said Don Quixote. "By the sun that shines +on us I have a mind to run you through with this lance. Pay him at once +without another word; if not, by the God that rules us I will make an end +of you, and annihilate you on the spot; release him instantly." + +The farmer hung his head, and without a word untied his servant, of whom +Don Quixote asked how much his master owed him. + +He replied, nine months at seven reals a month. Don Quixote added it up, +found that it came to sixty-three reals, and told the farmer to pay it +down immediately, if he did not want to die for it. + +The trembling clown replied that as he lived and by the oath he had sworn +(though he had not sworn any) it was not so much; for there were to be +taken into account and deducted three pairs of shoes he had given him, +and a real for two blood-lettings when he was sick. + +"All that is very well," said Don Quixote; "but let the shoes and the +blood-lettings stand as a setoff against the blows you have given him +without any cause; for if he spoiled the leather of the shoes you paid +for, you have damaged that of his body, and if the barber took blood from +him when he was sick, you have drawn it when he was sound; so on that +score he owes you nothing." + +"The difficulty is, Sir Knight, that I have no money here; let Andres +come home with me, and I will pay him all, real by real." + +"I go with him!" said the youth. "Nay, God forbid! No, senor, not for the +world; for once alone with me, he would ray me like a Saint Bartholomew." + +"He will do nothing of the kind," said Don Quixote; "I have only to +command, and he will obey me; and as he has sworn to me by the order of +knighthood which he has received, I leave him free, and I guarantee the +payment." + +"Consider what you are saying, senor," said the youth; "this master of +mine is not a knight, nor has he received any order of knighthood; for he +is Juan Haldudo the Rich, of Quintanar." + +"That matters little," replied Don Quixote; "there may be Haldudos +knights; moreover, everyone is the son of his works." + +"That is true," said Andres; "but this master of mine--of what works is +he the son, when he refuses me the wages of my sweat and labour?" + +"I do not refuse, brother Andres," said the farmer, "be good enough to +come along with me, and I swear by all the orders of knighthood there are +in the world to pay you as I have agreed, real by real, and perfumed." + +"For the perfumery I excuse you," said Don Quixote; "give it to him in +reals, and I shall be satisfied; and see that you do as you have sworn; +if not, by the same oath I swear to come back and hunt you out and punish +you; and I shall find you though you should lie closer than a lizard. And +if you desire to know who it is lays this command upon you, that you be +more firmly bound to obey it, know that I am the valorous Don Quixote of +La Mancha, the undoer of wrongs and injustices; and so, God be with you, +and keep in mind what you have promised and sworn under those penalties +that have been already declared to you." + +So saying, he gave Rocinante the spur and was soon out of reach. The +farmer followed him with his eyes, and when he saw that he had cleared +the wood and was no longer in sight, he turned to his boy Andres, and +said, "Come here, my son, I want to pay you what I owe you, as that +undoer of wrongs has commanded me." + +"My oath on it," said Andres, "your worship will be well advised to obey +the command of that good knight--may he live a thousand years--for, as he +is a valiant and just judge, by Roque, if you do not pay me, he will come +back and do as he said." + +"My oath on it, too," said the farmer; "but as I have a strong affection +for you, I want to add to the debt in order to add to the payment;" and +seizing him by the arm, he tied him up again, and gave him such a +flogging that he left him for dead. + +"Now, Master Andres," said the farmer, "call on the undoer of wrongs; you +will find he won't undo that, though I am not sure that I have quite done +with you, for I have a good mind to flay you alive." But at last he +untied him, and gave him leave to go look for his judge in order to put +the sentence pronounced into execution. + +Andres went off rather down in the mouth, swearing he would go to look +for the valiant Don Quixote of La Mancha and tell him exactly what had +happened, and that all would have to be repaid him sevenfold; but for all +that, he went off weeping, while his master stood laughing. + +Thus did the valiant Don Quixote right that wrong, and, thoroughly +satisfied with what had taken place, as he considered he had made a very +happy and noble beginning with his knighthood, he took the road towards +his village in perfect self-content, saying in a low voice, "Well mayest +thou this day call thyself fortunate above all on earth, O Dulcinea del +Toboso, fairest of the fair! since it has fallen to thy lot to hold +subject and submissive to thy full will and pleasure a knight so renowned +as is and will be Don Quixote of La Mancha, who, as all the world knows, +yesterday received the order of knighthood, and hath to-day righted the +greatest wrong and grievance that ever injustice conceived and cruelty +perpetrated: who hath to-day plucked the rod from the hand of yonder +ruthless oppressor so wantonly lashing that tender child." + +He now came to a road branching in four directions, and immediately he +was reminded of those cross-roads where knights-errant used to stop to +consider which road they should take. In imitation of them he halted for +a while, and after having deeply considered it, he gave Rocinante his +head, submitting his own will to that of his hack, who followed out his +first intention, which was to make straight for his own stable. After he +had gone about two miles Don Quixote perceived a large party of people, +who, as afterwards appeared, were some Toledo traders, on their way to +buy silk at Murcia. There were six of them coming along under their +sunshades, with four servants mounted, and three muleteers on foot. +Scarcely had Don Quixote descried them when the fancy possessed him that +this must be some new adventure; and to help him to imitate as far as he +could those passages he had read of in his books, here seemed to come one +made on purpose, which he resolved to attempt. So with a lofty bearing +and determination he fixed himself firmly in his stirrups, got his lance +ready, brought his buckler before his breast, and planting himself in the +middle of the road, stood waiting the approach of these knights-errant, +for such he now considered and held them to be; and when they had come +near enough to see and hear, he exclaimed with a haughty gesture, "All +the world stand, unless all the world confess that in all the world there +is no maiden fairer than the Empress of La Mancha, the peerless Dulcinea +del Toboso." + +The traders halted at the sound of this language and the sight of the +strange figure that uttered it, and from both figure and language at once +guessed the craze of their owner; they wished, however, to learn quietly +what was the object of this confession that was demanded of them, and one +of them, who was rather fond of a joke and was very sharp-witted, said to +him, "Sir Knight, we do not know who this good lady is that you speak of; +show her to us, for, if she be of such beauty as you suggest, with all +our hearts and without any pressure we will confess the truth that is on +your part required of us." + +"If I were to show her to you," replied Don Quixote, "what merit would +you have in confessing a truth so manifest? The essential point is that +without seeing her you must believe, confess, affirm, swear, and defend +it; else ye have to do with me in battle, ill-conditioned, arrogant +rabble that ye are; and come ye on, one by one as the order of knighthood +requires, or all together as is the custom and vile usage of your breed, +here do I bide and await you relying on the justice of the cause I +maintain." + +"Sir Knight," replied the trader, "I entreat your worship in the name of +this present company of princes, that, to save us from charging our +consciences with the confession of a thing we have never seen or heard +of, and one moreover so much to the prejudice of the Empresses and Queens +of the Alcarria and Estremadura, your worship will be pleased to show us +some portrait of this lady, though it be no bigger than a grain of wheat; +for by the thread one gets at the ball, and in this way we shall be +satisfied and easy, and you will be content and pleased; nay, I believe +we are already so far agreed with you that even though her portrait +should show her blind of one eye, and distilling vermilion and sulphur +from the other, we would nevertheless, to gratify your worship, say all +in her favour that you desire." + +"She distils nothing of the kind, vile rabble," said Don Quixote, burning +with rage, "nothing of the kind, I say, only ambergris and civet in +cotton; nor is she one-eyed or humpbacked, but straighter than a +Guadarrama spindle: but ye must pay for the blasphemy ye have uttered +against beauty like that of my lady." + +And so saying, he charged with levelled lance against the one who had +spoken, with such fury and fierceness that, if luck had not contrived +that Rocinante should stumble midway and come down, it would have gone +hard with the rash trader. Down went Rocinante, and over went his master, +rolling along the ground for some distance; and when he tried to rise he +was unable, so encumbered was he with lance, buckler, spurs, helmet, and +the weight of his old armour; and all the while he was struggling to get +up he kept saying, "Fly not, cowards and caitiffs! stay, for not by my +fault, but my horse's, am I stretched here." + +One of the muleteers in attendance, who could not have had much good +nature in him, hearing the poor prostrate man blustering in this style, +was unable to refrain from giving him an answer on his ribs; and coming +up to him he seized his lance, and having broken it in pieces, with one +of them he began so to belabour our Don Quixote that, notwithstanding and +in spite of his armour, he milled him like a measure of wheat. His +masters called out not to lay on so hard and to leave him alone, but the +muleteers blood was up, and he did not care to drop the game until he had +vented the rest of his wrath, and gathering up the remaining fragments of +the lance he finished with a discharge upon the unhappy victim, who all +through the storm of sticks that rained on him never ceased threatening +heaven, and earth, and the brigands, for such they seemed to him. At last +the muleteer was tired, and the traders continued their journey, taking +with them matter for talk about the poor fellow who had been cudgelled. +He when he found himself alone made another effort to rise; but if he was +unable when whole and sound, how was he to rise after having been +thrashed and well-nigh knocked to pieces? And yet he esteemed himself +fortunate, as it seemed to him that this was a regular knight-errant's +mishap, and entirely, he considered, the fault of his horse. However, +battered in body as he was, to rise was beyond his power. + +Chapter V. - +In which the narrative of our Knight's mishap is continued + +Finding, then, that, in fact he could not move, he thought himself of +having recourse to his usual remedy, which was to think of some passage +in his books, and his craze brought to his mind that about Baldwin and +the Marquis of Mantua, when Carloto left him wounded on the mountain +side, a story known by heart by the children, not forgotten by the young +men, and lauded and even believed by the old folk; and for all that not a +whit truer than the miracles of Mahomet. This seemed to him to fit +exactly the case in which he found himself, so, making a show of severe +suffering, he began to roll on the ground and with feeble breath repeat +the very words which the wounded knight of the wood is said to have +uttered: + +poem{ + +Where art thou, lady mine, that thou + My sorrow dost not rue? +Thou canst not know it, lady mine, + Or else thou art untrue. + +}poem + +And so he went on with the ballad as far as the lines: + +poem{ + +O noble Marquis of Mantua, + My Uncle and liege lord! + +}poem + +As chance would have it, when he had got to this line there happened to +come by a peasant from his own village, a neighbour of his, who had been +with a load of wheat to the mill, and he, seeing the man stretched there, +came up to him and asked him who he was and what was the matter with him +that he complained so dolefully. + +Don Quixote was firmly persuaded that this was the Marquis of Mantua, his +uncle, so the only answer he made was to go on with his ballad, in which +he told the tale of his misfortune, and of the loves of the Emperor's son +and his wife all exactly as the ballad sings it. + +The peasant stood amazed at hearing such nonsense, and relieving him of +the visor, already battered to pieces by blows, he wiped his face, which +was covered with dust, and as soon as he had done so he recognised him +and said, "Senor Quixada" (for so he appears to have been called when he +was in his senses and had not yet changed from a quiet country gentleman +into a knight-errant), "who has brought your worship to this pass?" But +to all questions the other only went on with his ballad. + +Seeing this, the good man removed as well as he could his breastplate and +backpiece to see if he had any wound, but he could perceive no blood nor +any mark whatever. He then contrived to raise him from the ground, and +with no little difficulty hoisted him upon his ass, which seemed to him +to be the easiest mount for him; and collecting the arms, even to the +splinters of the lance, he tied them on Rocinante, and leading him by the +bridle and the ass by the halter he took the road for the village, very +sad to hear what absurd stuff Don Quixote was talking. + +Nor was Don Quixote less so, for what with blows and bruises he could not +sit upright on the ass, and from time to time he sent up sighs to heaven, +so that once more he drove the peasant to ask what ailed him. And it +could have been only the devil himself that put into his head tales to +match his own adventures, for now, forgetting Baldwin, he bethought +himself of the Moor Abindarraez, when the Alcaide of Antequera, Rodrigo +de Narvaez, took him prisoner and carried him away to his castle; so that +when the peasant again asked him how he was and what ailed him, he gave +him for reply the same words and phrases that the captive Abindarraez +gave to Rodrigo de Narvaez, just as he had read the story in the "Diana" +of Jorge de Montemayor where it is written, applying it to his own case +so aptly that the peasant went along cursing his fate that he had to +listen to such a lot of nonsense; from which, however, he came to the +conclusion that his neighbour was mad, and so made all haste to reach the +village to escape the wearisomeness of this harangue of Don Quixote's; +who, at the end of it, said, "Senor Don Rodrigo de Narvaez, your worship +must know that this fair Xarifa I have mentioned is now the lovely +Dulcinea del Toboso, for whom I have done, am doing, and will do the most +famous deeds of chivalry that in this world have been seen, are to be +seen, or ever shall be seen." + +To this the peasant answered, "Senor--sinner that I am!--cannot your +worship see that I am not Don Rodrigo de Narvaez nor the Marquis of +Mantua, but Pedro Alonso your neighbour, and that your worship is neither +Baldwin nor Abindarraez, but the worthy gentleman Senor Quixada?" + +"I know who I am," replied Don Quixote, "and I know that I may be not +only those I have named, but all the Twelve Peers of France and even all +the Nine Worthies, since my achievements surpass all that they have done +all together and each of them on his own account." + +With this talk and more of the same kind they reached the village just as +night was beginning to fall, but the peasant waited until it was a little +later that the belaboured gentleman might not be seen riding in such a +miserable trim. When it was what seemed to him the proper time he entered +the village and went to Don Quixote's house, which he found all in +confusion, and there were the curate and the village barber, who were +great friends of Don Quixote, and his housekeeper was saying to them in a +loud voice, "What does your worship think can have befallen my master, +Senor Licentiate Pero Perez?" for so the curate was called; "it is three +days now since anything has been seen of him, or the hack, or the +buckler, lance, or armour. Miserable me! I am certain of it, and it is as +true as that I was born to die, that these accursed books of chivalry he +has, and has got into the way of reading so constantly, have upset his +reason; for now I remember having often heard him saying to himself that +he would turn knight-errant and go all over the world in quest of +adventures. To the devil and Barabbas with such books, that have brought +to ruin in this way the finest understanding there was in all La Mancha!" + +The niece said the same, and, more: "You must know, Master Nicholas"--for +that was the name of the barber--"it was often my uncle's way to stay two +days and nights together poring over these unholy books of misventures, +after which he would fling the book away and snatch up his sword and fall +to slashing the walls; and when he was tired out he would say he had +killed four giants like four towers; and the sweat that flowed from him +when he was weary he said was the blood of the wounds he had received in +battle; and then he would drink a great jug of cold water and become calm +and quiet, saying that this water was a most precious potion which the +sage Esquife, a great magician and friend of his, had brought him. But I +take all the blame upon myself for never having told your worships of my +uncle's vagaries, that you might put a stop to them before things had +come to this pass, and burn all these accursed books--for he has a great +number--that richly deserve to be burned like heretics." + +"So say I too," said the curate, "and by my faith to-morrow shall not +pass without public judgment upon them, and may they be condemned to the +flames lest they lead those that read to behave as my good friend seems +to have behaved." + +All this the peasant heard, and from it he understood at last what was +the matter with his neighbour, so he began calling aloud, "Open, your +worships, to Senor Baldwin and to Senor the Marquis of Mantua, who comes +badly wounded, and to Senor Abindarraez, the Moor, whom the valiant +Rodrigo de Narvaez, the Alcaide of Antequera, brings captive." + +At these words they all hurried out, and when they recognised their +friend, master, and uncle, who had not yet dismounted from the ass +because he could not, they ran to embrace him. + +"Hold!" said he, "for I am badly wounded through my horse's fault; carry +me to bed, and if possible send for the wise Urganda to cure and see to +my wounds." + +"See there! plague on it!" cried the housekeeper at this: "did not my +heart tell the truth as to which foot my master went lame of? To bed with +your worship at once, and we will contrive to cure you here without +fetching that Hurgada. A curse I say once more, and a hundred times more, +on those books of chivalry that have brought your worship to such a +pass." + +They carried him to bed at once, and after searching for his wounds could +find none, but he said they were all bruises from having had a severe +fall with his horse Rocinante when in combat with ten giants, the biggest +and the boldest to be found on earth. + +"So, so!" said the curate, "are there giants in the dance? By the sign of +the Cross I will burn them to-morrow before the day over." + +They put a host of questions to Don Quixote, but his only answer to all +was--give him something to eat, and leave him to sleep, for that was what +he needed most. They did so, and the curate questioned the peasant at +great length as to how he had found Don Quixote. He told him, and the +nonsense he had talked when found and on the way home, all which made the +licentiate the more eager to do what he did the next day, which was to +summon his friend the barber, Master Nicholas, and go with him to Don +Quixote's house. + +Chapter VI. - +Of the diverting and important scrutiny which the curate and the barber +made in the library of our ingenious gentleman + +He was still sleeping; so the curate asked the niece for the keys of the +room where the books, the authors of all the mischief, were, and right +willingly she gave them. They all went in, the housekeeper with them, and +found more than a hundred volumes of big books very well bound, and some +other small ones. The moment the housekeeper saw them she turned about +and ran out of the room, and came back immediately with a saucer of holy +water and a sprinkler, saying, "Here, your worship, senor licentiate, +sprinkle this room; don't leave any magician of the many there are in +these books to bewitch us in revenge for our design of banishing them +from the world." + +The simplicity of the housekeeper made the licentiate laugh, and he +directed the barber to give him the books one by one to see what they +were about, as there might be some to be found among them that did not +deserve the penalty of fire. + +"No," said the niece, "there is no reason for showing mercy to any of +them; they have every one of them done mischief; better fling them out of +the window into the court and make a pile of them and set fire to them; +or else carry them into the yard, and there a bonfire can be made without +the smoke giving any annoyance." The housekeeper said the same, so eager +were they both for the slaughter of those innocents, but the curate would +not agree to it without first reading at any rate the titles. + +The first that Master Nicholas put into his hand was "The four books of +Amadis of Gaul." "This seems a mysterious thing," said the curate, "for, +as I have heard say, this was the first book of chivalry printed in +Spain, and from this all the others derive their birth and origin; so it +seems to me that we ought inexorably to condemn it to the flames as the +founder of so vile a sect." + +"Nay, sir," said the barber, "I too, have heard say that this is the best +of all the books of this kind that have been written, and so, as +something singular in its line, it ought to be pardoned." + +"True," said the curate; "and for that reason let its life be spared for +the present. Let us see that other which is next to it." + +"It is," said the barber, "the 'Sergas de Esplandian,' the lawful son of +Amadis of Gaul." + +"Then verily," said the curate, "the merit of the father must not be put +down to the account of the son. Take it, mistress housekeeper; open the +window and fling it into the yard and lay the foundation of the pile for +the bonfire we are to make." + +The housekeeper obeyed with great satisfaction, and the worthy +"Esplandian" went flying into the yard to await with all patience the +fire that was in store for him. + +"Proceed," said the curate. + +"This that comes next," said the barber, "is 'Amadis of Greece,' and, +indeed, I believe all those on this side are of the same Amadis lineage." + +"Then to the yard with the whole of them," said the curate; "for to have +the burning of Queen Pintiquiniestra, and the shepherd Darinel and his +eclogues, and the bedevilled and involved discourses of his author, I +would burn with them the father who begot me if he were going about in +the guise of a knight-errant." + +"I am of the same mind," said the barber. + +"And so am I," added the niece. + +"In that case," said the housekeeper, "here, into the yard with them!" + +They were handed to her, and as there were many of them, she spared +herself the staircase, and flung them down out of the window. + +"Who is that tub there?" said the curate. + +"This," said the barber, "is 'Don Olivante de Laura.'" + +"The author of that book," said the curate, "was the same that wrote 'The +Garden of Flowers,' and truly there is no deciding which of the two books +is the more truthful, or, to put it better, the less lying; all I can say +is, send this one into the yard for a swaggering fool." + +"This that follows is 'Florismarte of Hircania,'" said the barber. + +"Senor Florismarte here?" said the curate; "then by my faith he must take +up his quarters in the yard, in spite of his marvellous birth and +visionary adventures, for the stiffness and dryness of his style deserve +nothing else; into the yard with him and the other, mistress +housekeeper." + +"With all my heart, senor," said she, and executed the order with great +delight. + +"This," said the barber, "is The Knight Platir.'" + +"An old book that," said the curate, "but I find no reason for clemency +in it; send it after the others without appeal;" which was done. + +Another book was opened, and they saw it was entitled, "The Knight of the +Cross." + +"For the sake of the holy name this book has," said the curate, "its +ignorance might be excused; but then, they say, 'behind the cross there's +the devil; to the fire with it." + +Taking down another book, the barber said, "This is 'The Mirror of +Chivalry.'" + +"I know his worship," said the curate; "that is where Senor Reinaldos of +Montalvan figures with his friends and comrades, greater thieves than +Cacus, and the Twelve Peers of France with the veracious historian +Turpin; however, I am not for condemning them to more than perpetual +banishment, because, at any rate, they have some share in the invention +of the famous Matteo Boiardo, whence too the Christian poet Ludovico +Ariosto wove his web, to whom, if I find him here, and speaking any +language but his own, I shall show no respect whatever; but if he speaks +his own tongue I will put him upon my head." + +"Well, I have him in Italian," said the barber, "but I do not understand +him." + +"Nor would it be well that you should understand him," said the curate, +"and on that score we might have excused the Captain if he had not +brought him into Spain and turned him into Castilian. He robbed him of a +great deal of his natural force, and so do all those who try to turn +books written in verse into another language, for, with all the pains +they take and all the cleverness they show, they never can reach the +level of the originals as they were first produced. In short, I say that +this book, and all that may be found treating of those French affairs, +should be thrown into or deposited in some dry well, until after more +consideration it is settled what is to be done with them; excepting +always one 'Bernardo del Carpio' that is going about, and another called +'Roncesvalles;' for these, if they come into my hands, shall pass at once +into those of the housekeeper, and from hers into the fire without any +reprieve." + +To all this the barber gave his assent, and looked upon it as right and +proper, being persuaded that the curate was so staunch to the Faith and +loyal to the Truth that he would not for the world say anything opposed +to them. Opening another book he saw it was "Palmerin de Oliva," and +beside it was another called "Palmerin of England," seeing which the +licentiate said, "Let the Olive be made firewood of at once and burned +until no ashes even are left; and let that Palm of England be kept and +preserved as a thing that stands alone, and let such another case be made +for it as that which Alexander found among the spoils of Darius and set +aside for the safe keeping of the works of the poet Homer. This book, +gossip, is of authority for two reasons, first because it is very good, +and secondly because it is said to have been written by a wise and witty +king of Portugal. All the adventures at the Castle of Miraguarda are +excellent and of admirable contrivance, and the language is polished and +clear, studying and observing the style befitting the speaker with +propriety and judgment. So then, provided it seems good to you, Master +Nicholas, I say let this and 'Amadis of Gaul' be remitted the penalty of +fire, and as for all the rest, let them perish without further question +or query." + +"Nay, gossip," said the barber, "for this that I have here is the famous +'Don Belianis.'" + +"Well," said the curate, "that and the second, third, and fourth parts +all stand in need of a little rhubarb to purge their excess of bile, and +they must be cleared of all that stuff about the Castle of Fame and other +greater affectations, to which end let them be allowed the over-seas +term, and, according as they mend, so shall mercy or justice be meted out +to them; and in the mean time, gossip, do you keep them in your house and +let no one read them." + +"With all my heart," said the barber; and not caring to tire himself with +reading more books of chivalry, he told the housekeeper to take all the +big ones and throw them into the yard. It was not said to one dull or +deaf, but to one who enjoyed burning them more than weaving the broadest +and finest web that could be; and seizing about eight at a time, she +flung them out of the window. + +In carrying so many together she let one fall at the feet of the barber, +who took it up, curious to know whose it was, and found it said, "History +of the Famous Knight, Tirante el Blanco." + +"God bless me!" said the curate with a shout, "'Tirante el Blanco' here! +Hand it over, gossip, for in it I reckon I have found a treasury of +enjoyment and a mine of recreation. Here is Don Kyrieleison of Montalvan, +a valiant knight, and his brother Thomas of Montalvan, and the knight +Fonseca, with the battle the bold Tirante fought with the mastiff, and +the witticisms of the damsel Placerdemivida, and the loves and wiles of +the widow Reposada, and the empress in love with the squire Hipolito--in +truth, gossip, by right of its style it is the best book in the world. +Here knights eat and sleep, and die in their beds, and make their wills +before dying, and a great deal more of which there is nothing in all the +other books. Nevertheless, I say he who wrote it, for deliberately +composing such fooleries, deserves to be sent to the galleys for life. +Take it home with you and read it, and you will see that what I have said +is true." + +"As you will," said the barber; "but what are we to do with these little +books that are left?" + +"These must be, not chivalry, but poetry," said the curate; and opening +one he saw it was the "Diana" of Jorge de Montemayor, and, supposing all +the others to be of the same sort, "these," he said, "do not deserve to +be burned like the others, for they neither do nor can do the mischief +the books of chivalry have done, being books of entertainment that can +hurt no one." + +"Ah, senor!" said the niece, "your worship had better order these to be +burned as well as the others; for it would be no wonder if, after being +cured of his chivalry disorder, my uncle, by reading these, took a fancy +to turn shepherd and range the woods and fields singing and piping; or, +what would be still worse, to turn poet, which they say is an incurable +and infectious malady." + +"The damsel is right," said the curate, "and it will be well to put this +stumbling-block and temptation out of our friend's way. To begin, then, +with the 'Diana' of Montemayor. I am of opinion it should not be burned, +but that it should be cleared of all that about the sage Felicia and the +magic water, and of almost all the longer pieces of verse: let it keep, +and welcome, its prose and the honour of being the first of books of the +kind." + +"This that comes next," said the barber, "is the 'Diana,' entitled the +'Second Part, by the Salamancan,' and this other has the same title, and +its author is Gil Polo." + +"As for that of the Salamancan," replied the curate, "let it go to swell +the number of the condemned in the yard, and let Gil Polo's be preserved +as if it came from Apollo himself: but get on, gossip, and make haste, +for it is growing late." + +"This book," said the barber, opening another, "is the ten books of the +'Fortune of Love,' written by Antonio de Lofraso, a Sardinian poet." + +"By the orders I have received," said the curate, "since Apollo has been +Apollo, and the Muses have been Muses, and poets have been poets, so +droll and absurd a book as this has never been written, and in its way it +is the best and the most singular of all of this species that have as yet +appeared, and he who has not read it may be sure he has never read what +is delightful. Give it here, gossip, for I make more account of having +found it than if they had given me a cassock of Florence stuff." + +He put it aside with extreme satisfaction, and the barber went on, "These +that come next are 'The Shepherd of Iberia,' 'Nymphs of Henares,' and +'The Enlightenment of Jealousy.'" + +"Then all we have to do," said the curate, "is to hand them over to the +secular arm of the housekeeper, and ask me not why, or we shall never +have done." + +"This next is the 'Pastor de Filida.'" + +"No Pastor that," said the curate, "but a highly polished courtier; let +it be preserved as a precious jewel." + +"This large one here," said the barber, "is called 'The Treasury of +various Poems.'" + +"If there were not so many of them," said the curate, "they would be more +relished: this book must be weeded and cleansed of certain vulgarities +which it has with its excellences; let it be preserved because the author +is a friend of mine, and out of respect for other more heroic and loftier +works that he has written." + +"This," continued the barber, "is the 'Cancionero' of Lopez de +Maldonado." + +"The author of that book, too," said the curate, "is a great friend of +mine, and his verses from his own mouth are the admiration of all who +hear them, for such is the sweetness of his voice that he enchants when +he chants them: it gives rather too much of its eclogues, but what is +good was never yet plentiful: let it be kept with those that have been +set apart. But what book is that next it?" + +"The 'Galatea' of Miguel de Cervantes," said the barber. + +"That Cervantes has been for many years a great friend of mine, and to my +knowledge he has had more experience in reverses than in verses. His book +has some good invention in it, it presents us with something but brings +nothing to a conclusion: we must wait for the Second Part it promises: +perhaps with amendment it may succeed in winning the full measure of +grace that is now denied it; and in the mean time do you, senor gossip, +keep it shut up in your own quarters." + +"Very good," said the barber; "and here come three together, the +'Araucana' of Don Alonso de Ercilla, the 'Austriada' of Juan Rufo, +Justice of Cordova, and the 'Montserrate' of Christobal de Virues, the +Valencian poet." + +"These three books," said the curate, "are the best that have been +written in Castilian in heroic verse, and they may compare with the most +famous of Italy; let them be preserved as the richest treasures of poetry +that Spain possesses." + +The curate was tired and would not look into any more books, and so he +decided that, "contents uncertified," all the rest should be burned; but +just then the barber held open one, called "The Tears of Angelica." + +"I should have shed tears myself," said the curate when he heard the +title, "had I ordered that book to be burned, for its author was one of +the famous poets of the world, not to say of Spain, and was very happy in +the translation of some of Ovid's fables." + +Chapter VII. - +Of the second sally of our worthy knight Don Quixote of La Mancha + +At this instant Don Quixote began shouting out, "Here, here, valiant +knights! here is need for you to put forth the might of your strong arms, +for they of the Court are gaining the mastery in the tourney!" Called +away by this noise and outcry, they proceeded no farther with the +scrutiny of the remaining books, and so it is thought that "The Carolea," +"The Lion of Spain," and "The Deeds of the Emperor," written by Don Luis +de Avila, went to the fire unseen and unheard; for no doubt they were +among those that remained, and perhaps if the curate had seen them they +would not have undergone so severe a sentence. + +When they reached Don Quixote he was already out of bed, and was still +shouting and raving, and slashing and cutting all round, as wide awake as +if he had never slept. + +They closed with him and by force got him back to bed, and when he had +become a little calm, addressing the curate, he said to him, "Of a truth, +Senor Archbishop Turpin, it is a great disgrace for us who call ourselves +the Twelve Peers, so carelessly to allow the knights of the Court to gain +the victory in this tourney, we the adventurers having carried off the +honour on the three former days." + +"Hush, gossip," said the curate; "please God, the luck may turn, and what +is lost to-day may be won to-morrow; for the present let your worship +have a care of your health, for it seems to me that you are +over-fatigued, if not badly wounded." + +"Wounded no," said Don Quixote, "but bruised and battered no doubt, for +that bastard Don Roland has cudgelled me with the trunk of an oak tree, +and all for envy, because he sees that I alone rival him in his +achievements. But I should not call myself Reinaldos of Montalvan did he +not pay me for it in spite of all his enchantments as soon as I rise from +this bed. For the present let them bring me something to eat, for that, I +feel, is what will be more to my purpose, and leave it to me to avenge +myself." + +They did as he wished; they gave him something to eat, and once more he +fell asleep, leaving them marvelling at his madness. + +That night the housekeeper burned to ashes all the books that were in the +yard and in the whole house; and some must have been consumed that +deserved preservation in everlasting archives, but their fate and the +laziness of the examiner did not permit it, and so in them was verified +the proverb that the innocent suffer for the guilty. + +One of the remedies which the curate and the barber immediately applied +to their friend's disorder was to wall up and plaster the room where the +books were, so that when he got up he should not find them (possibly the +cause being removed the effect might cease), and they might say that a +magician had carried them off, room and all; and this was done with all +despatch. Two days later Don Quixote got up, and the first thing he did +was to go and look at his books, and not finding the room where he had +left it, he wandered from side to side looking for it. He came to the +place where the door used to be, and tried it with his hands, and turned +and twisted his eyes in every direction without saying a word; but after +a good while he asked his housekeeper whereabouts was the room that held +his books. + +The housekeeper, who had been already well instructed in what she was to +answer, said, "What room or what nothing is it that your worship is +looking for? There are neither room nor books in this house now, for the +devil himself has carried all away." + +"It was not the devil," said the niece, "but a magician who came on a +cloud one night after the day your worship left this, and dismounting +from a serpent that he rode he entered the room, and what he did there I +know not, but after a little while he made off, flying through the roof, +and left the house full of smoke; and when we went to see what he had +done we saw neither book nor room: but we remember very well, the +housekeeper and I, that on leaving, the old villain said in a loud voice +that, for a private grudge he owed the owner of the books and the room, +he had done mischief in that house that would be discovered by-and-by: he +said too that his name was the Sage Munaton." + +"He must have said Friston," said Don Quixote. + +"I don't know whether he called himself Friston or Friton," said the +housekeeper, "I only know that his name ended with 'ton.'" + +"So it does," said Don Quixote, "and he is a sage magician, a great enemy +of mine, who has a spite against me because he knows by his arts and lore +that in process of time I am to engage in single combat with a knight +whom he befriends and that I am to conquer, and he will be unable to +prevent it; and for this reason he endeavours to do me all the ill turns +that he can; but I promise him it will be hard for him to oppose or avoid +what is decreed by Heaven." + +"Who doubts that?" said the niece; "but, uncle, who mixes you up in these +quarrels? Would it not be better to remain at peace in your own house +instead of roaming the world looking for better bread than ever came of +wheat, never reflecting that many go for wool and come back shorn?" + +"Oh, niece of mine," replied Don Quixote, "how much astray art thou in +thy reckoning: ere they shear me I shall have plucked away and stripped +off the beards of all who dare to touch only the tip of a hair of mine." + +The two were unwilling to make any further answer, as they saw that his +anger was kindling. + +In short, then, he remained at home fifteen days very quietly without +showing any signs of a desire to take up with his former delusions, and +during this time he held lively discussions with his two gossips, the +curate and the barber, on the point he maintained, that knights-errant +were what the world stood most in need of, and that in him was to be +accomplished the revival of knight-errantry. The curate sometimes +contradicted him, sometimes agreed with him, for if he had not observed +this precaution he would have been unable to bring him to reason. + +Meanwhile Don Quixote worked upon a farm labourer, a neighbour of his, an +honest man (if indeed that title can be given to him who is poor), but +with very little wit in his pate. In a word, he so talked him over, and +with such persuasions and promises, that the poor clown made up his mind +to sally forth with him and serve him as esquire. Don Quixote, among +other things, told him he ought to be ready to go with him gladly, +because any moment an adventure might occur that might win an island in +the twinkling of an eye and leave him governor of it. On these and the +like promises Sancho Panza (for so the labourer was called) left wife and +children, and engaged himself as esquire to his neighbour. + +Don Quixote next set about getting some money; and selling one thing and +pawning another, and making a bad bargain in every case, he got together +a fair sum. He provided himself with a buckler, which he begged as a loan +from a friend, and, restoring his battered helmet as best he could, he +warned his squire Sancho of the day and hour he meant to set out, that he +might provide himself with what he thought most needful. Above all, he +charged him to take alforjas with him. The other said he would, and that +he meant to take also a very good ass he had, as he was not much given to +going on foot. About the ass, Don Quixote hesitated a little, trying +whether he could call to mind any knight-errant taking with him an +esquire mounted on ass-back, but no instance occurred to his memory. For +all that, however, he determined to take him, intending to furnish him +with a more honourable mount when a chance of it presented itself, by +appropriating the horse of the first discourteous knight he encountered. +Himself he provided with shirts and such other things as he could, +according to the advice the host had given him; all which being done, +without taking leave, Sancho Panza of his wife and children, or Don +Quixote of his housekeeper and niece, they sallied forth unseen by +anybody from the village one night, and made such good way in the course +of it that by daylight they held themselves safe from discovery, even +should search be made for them. + +Sancho rode on his ass like a patriarch, with his alforjas and bota, and +longing to see himself soon governor of the island his master had +promised him. Don Quixote decided upon taking the same route and road he +had taken on his first journey, that over the Campo de Montiel, which he +travelled with less discomfort than on the last occasion, for, as it was +early morning and the rays of the sun fell on them obliquely, the heat +did not distress them. + +And now said Sancho Panza to his master, "Your worship will take care, +Senor Knight-errant, not to forget about the island you have promised me, +for be it ever so big I'll be equal to governing it." + +To which Don Quixote replied, "Thou must know, friend Sancho Panza, that +it was a practice very much in vogue with the knights-errant of old to +make their squires governors of the islands or kingdoms they won, and I +am determined that there shall be no failure on my part in so liberal a +custom; on the contrary, I mean to improve upon it, for they sometimes, +and perhaps most frequently, waited until their squires were old, and +then when they had had enough of service and hard days and worse nights, +they gave them some title or other, of count, or at the most marquis, of +some valley or province more or less; but if thou livest and I live, it +may well be that before six days are over, I may have won some kingdom +that has others dependent upon it, which will be just the thing to enable +thee to be crowned king of one of them. Nor needst thou count this +wonderful, for things and chances fall to the lot of such knights in ways +so unexampled and unexpected that I might easily give thee even more than +I promise thee." + +"In that case," said Sancho Panza, "if I should become a king by one of +those miracles your worship speaks of, even Juana Gutierrez, my old +woman, would come to be queen and my children infantes." + +"Well, who doubts it?" said Don Quixote. + +"I doubt it," replied Sancho Panza, "because for my part I am persuaded +that though God should shower down kingdoms upon earth, not one of them +would fit the head of Mari Gutierrez. Let me tell you, senor, she is not +worth two maravedis for a queen; countess will fit her better, and that +only with God's help." + +"Leave it to God, Sancho," returned Don Quixote, "for he will give her +what suits her best; but do not undervalue thyself so much as to come to +be content with anything less than being governor of a province." + +"I will not, senor," answered Sancho, "specially as I have a man of such +quality for a master in your worship, who will know how to give me all +that will be suitable for me and that I can bear." + +Chapter VIII. - +Of the good fortune which the valiant Don Quixote had in the terrible and +undreamt-of adventure of the windmills, with other occurrences worthy to +be fitly recorded + +At this point they came in sight of thirty forty windmills that there are +on plain, and as soon as Don Quixote saw them he said to his squire, +"Fortune is arranging matters for us better than we could have shaped our +desires ourselves, for look there, friend Sancho Panza, where thirty or +more monstrous giants present themselves, all of whom I mean to engage in +battle and slay, and with whose spoils we shall begin to make our +fortunes; for this is righteous warfare, and it is God's good service to +sweep so evil a breed from off the face of the earth." + +"What giants?" said Sancho Panza. + +"Those thou seest there," answered his master, "with the long arms, and +some have them nearly two leagues long." + +"Look, your worship," said Sancho; "what we see there are not giants but +windmills, and what seem to be their arms are the sails that turned by +the wind make the millstone go." + +"It is easy to see," replied Don Quixote, "that thou art not used to this +business of adventures; those are giants; and if thou art afraid, away +with thee out of this and betake thyself to prayer while I engage them in +fierce and unequal combat." + +So saying, he gave the spur to his steed Rocinante, heedless of the cries +his squire Sancho sent after him, warning him that most certainly they +were windmills and not giants he was going to attack. He, however, was so +positive they were giants that he neither heard the cries of Sancho, nor +perceived, near as he was, what they were, but made at them shouting, +"Fly not, cowards and vile beings, for a single knight attacks you." + +A slight breeze at this moment sprang up, and the great sails began to +move, seeing which Don Quixote exclaimed, "Though ye flourish more arms +than the giant Briareus, ye have to reckon with me." + +So saying, and commending himself with all his heart to his lady +Dulcinea, imploring her to support him in such a peril, with lance in +rest and covered by his buckler, he charged at Rocinante's fullest gallop +and fell upon the first mill that stood in front of him; but as he drove +his lance-point into the sail the wind whirled it round with such force +that it shivered the lance to pieces, sweeping with it horse and rider, +who went rolling over on the plain, in a sorry condition. Sancho hastened +to his assistance as fast as his ass could go, and when he came up found +him unable to move, with such a shock had Rocinante fallen with him. + +"God bless me!" said Sancho, "did I not tell your worship to mind what +you were about, for they were only windmills? and no one could have made +any mistake about it but one who had something of the same kind in his +head." + +"Hush, friend Sancho," replied Don Quixote, "the fortunes of war more +than any other are liable to frequent fluctuations; and moreover I think, +and it is the truth, that that same sage Friston who carried off my study +and books, has turned these giants into mills in order to rob me of the +glory of vanquishing them, such is the enmity he bears me; but in the end +his wicked arts will avail but little against my good sword." + +"God order it as he may," said Sancho Panza, and helping him to rise got +him up again on Rocinante, whose shoulder was half out; and then, +discussing the late adventure, they followed the road to Puerto Lapice, +for there, said Don Quixote, they could not fail to find adventures in +abundance and variety, as it was a great thoroughfare. For all that, he +was much grieved at the loss of his lance, and saying so to his squire, +he added, "I remember having read how a Spanish knight, Diego Perez de +Vargas by name, having broken his sword in battle, tore from an oak a +ponderous bough or branch, and with it did such things that day, and +pounded so many Moors, that he got the surname of Machuca, and he and his +descendants from that day forth were called Vargas y Machuca. I mention +this because from the first oak I see I mean to rend such another branch, +large and stout like that, with which I am determined and resolved to do +such deeds that thou mayest deem thyself very fortunate in being found +worthy to come and see them, and be an eyewitness of things that will +with difficulty be believed." + +"Be that as God will," said Sancho, "I believe it all as your worship +says it; but straighten yourself a little, for you seem all on one side, +may be from the shaking of the fall." + +"That is the truth," said Don Quixote, "and if I make no complaint of the +pain it is because knights-errant are not permitted to complain of any +wound, even though their bowels be coming out through it." + +"If so," said Sancho, "I have nothing to say; but God knows I would +rather your worship complained when anything ailed you. For my part, I +confess I must complain however small the ache may be; unless this rule +about not complaining extends to the squires of knights-errant also." + +Don Quixote could not help laughing at his squire's simplicity, and he +assured him he might complain whenever and however he chose, just as he +liked, for, so far, he had never read of anything to the contrary in the +order of knighthood. + +Sancho bade him remember it was dinner-time, to which his master answered +that he wanted nothing himself just then, but that he might eat when he +had a mind. With this permission Sancho settled himself as comfortably as +he could on his beast, and taking out of the alforjas what he had stowed +away in them, he jogged along behind his master munching deliberately, +and from time to time taking a pull at the bota with a relish that the +thirstiest tapster in Malaga might have envied; and while he went on in +this way, gulping down draught after draught, he never gave a thought to +any of the promises his master had made him, nor did he rate it as +hardship but rather as recreation going in quest of adventures, however +dangerous they might be. Finally they passed the night among some trees, +from one of which Don Quixote plucked a dry branch to serve him after a +fashion as a lance, and fixed on it the head he had removed from the +broken one. All that night Don Quixote lay awake thinking of his lady +Dulcinea, in order to conform to what he had read in his books, how many +a night in the forests and deserts knights used to lie sleepless +supported by the memory of their mistresses. Not so did Sancho Panza +spend it, for having his stomach full of something stronger than chicory +water he made but one sleep of it, and, if his master had not called him, +neither the rays of the sun beating on his face nor all the cheery notes +of the birds welcoming the approach of day would have had power to waken +him. On getting up he tried the bota and found it somewhat less full than +the night before, which grieved his heart because they did not seem to be +on the way to remedy the deficiency readily. Don Quixote did not care to +break his fast, for, as has been already said, he confined himself to +savoury recollections for nourishment. + +They returned to the road they had set out with, leading to Puerto +Lapice, and at three in the afternoon they came in sight of it. "Here, +brother Sancho Panza," said Don Quixote when he saw it, "we may plunge +our hands up to the elbows in what they call adventures; but observe, +even shouldst thou see me in the greatest danger in the world, thou must +not put a hand to thy sword in my defence, unless indeed thou perceivest +that those who assail me are rabble or base folk; for in that case thou +mayest very properly aid me; but if they be knights it is on no account +permitted or allowed thee by the laws of knighthood to help me until thou +hast been dubbed a knight." + +"Most certainly, senor," replied Sancho, "your worship shall be fully +obeyed in this matter; all the more as of myself I am peaceful and no +friend to mixing in strife and quarrels: it is true that as regards the +defence of my own person I shall not give much heed to those laws, for +laws human and divine allow each one to defend himself against any +assailant whatever." + +"That I grant," said Don Quixote, "but in this matter of aiding me +against knights thou must put a restraint upon thy natural impetuosity." + +"I will do so, I promise you," answered Sancho, "and will keep this +precept as carefully as Sunday." + +While they were thus talking there appeared on the road two friars of the +order of St. Benedict, mounted on two dromedaries, for not less tall were +the two mules they rode on. They wore travelling spectacles and carried +sunshades; and behind them came a coach attended by four or five persons +on horseback and two muleteers on foot. In the coach there was, as +afterwards appeared, a Biscay lady on her way to Seville, where her +husband was about to take passage for the Indies with an appointment of +high honour. The friars, though going the same road, were not in her +company; but the moment Don Quixote perceived them he said to his squire, +"Either I am mistaken, or this is going to be the most famous adventure +that has ever been seen, for those black bodies we see there must be, and +doubtless are, magicians who are carrying off some stolen princess in +that coach, and with all my might I must undo this wrong." + +"This will be worse than the windmills," said Sancho. "Look, senor; those +are friars of St. Benedict, and the coach plainly belongs to some +travellers: I tell you to mind well what you are about and don't let the +devil mislead you." + +"I have told thee already, Sancho," replied Don Quixote, "that on the +subject of adventures thou knowest little. What I say is the truth, as +thou shalt see presently." + +So saying, he advanced and posted himself in the middle of the road along +which the friars were coming, and as soon as he thought they had come +near enough to hear what he said, he cried aloud, "Devilish and unnatural +beings, release instantly the highborn princesses whom you are carrying +off by force in this coach, else prepare to meet a speedy death as the +just punishment of your evil deeds." + +The friars drew rein and stood wondering at the appearance of Don Quixote +as well as at his words, to which they replied, "Senor Caballero, we are +not devilish or unnatural, but two brothers of St. Benedict following our +road, nor do we know whether or not there are any captive princesses +coming in this coach." + +"No soft words with me, for I know you, lying rabble," said Don Quixote, +and without waiting for a reply he spurred Rocinante and with levelled +lance charged the first friar with such fury and determination, that, if +the friar had not flung himself off the mule, he would have brought him +to the ground against his will, and sore wounded, if not killed outright. +The second brother, seeing how his comrade was treated, drove his heels +into his castle of a mule and made off across the country faster than the +wind. + +Sancho Panza, when he saw the friar on the ground, dismounting briskly +from his ass, rushed towards him and began to strip off his gown. At that +instant the friars muleteers came up and asked what he was stripping him +for. Sancho answered them that this fell to him lawfully as spoil of the +battle which his lord Don Quixote had won. The muleteers, who had no idea +of a joke and did not understand all this about battles and spoils, +seeing that Don Quixote was some distance off talking to the travellers +in the coach, fell upon Sancho, knocked him down, and leaving hardly a +hair in his beard, belaboured him with kicks and left him stretched +breathless and senseless on the ground; and without any more delay helped +the friar to mount, who, trembling, terrified, and pale, as soon as he +found himself in the saddle, spurred after his companion, who was +standing at a distance looking on, watching the result of the onslaught; +then, not caring to wait for the end of the affair just begun, they +pursued their journey making more crosses than if they had the devil +after them. + +Don Quixote was, as has been said, speaking to the lady in the coach: +"Your beauty, lady mine," said he, "may now dispose of your person as may +be most in accordance with your pleasure, for the pride of your ravishers +lies prostrate on the ground through this strong arm of mine; and lest +you should be pining to know the name of your deliverer, know that I am +called Don Quixote of La Mancha, knight-errant and adventurer, and +captive to the peerless and beautiful lady Dulcinea del Toboso: and in +return for the service you have received of me I ask no more than that +you should return to El Toboso, and on my behalf present yourself before +that lady and tell her what I have done to set you free." + +One of the squires in attendance upon the coach, a Biscayan, was +listening to all Don Quixote was saying, and, perceiving that he would +not allow the coach to go on, but was saying it must return at once to El +Toboso, he made at him, and seizing his lance addressed him in bad +Castilian and worse Biscayan after his fashion, "Begone, caballero, and +ill go with thee; by the God that made me, unless thou quittest coach, +slayest thee as art here a Biscayan." + +Don Quixote understood him quite well, and answered him very quietly, "If +thou wert a knight, as thou art none, I should have already chastised thy +folly and rashness, miserable creature." To which the Biscayan returned, +"I no gentleman!--I swear to God thou liest as I am Christian: if thou +droppest lance and drawest sword, soon shalt thou see thou art carrying +water to the cat: Biscayan on land, hidalgo at sea, hidalgo at the devil, +and look, if thou sayest otherwise thou liest." + +"'"You will see presently," said Agrajes,'" replied Don Quixote; and +throwing his lance on the ground he drew his sword, braced his buckler on +his arm, and attacked the Biscayan, bent upon taking his life. + +The Biscayan, when he saw him coming on, though he wished to dismount +from his mule, in which, being one of those sorry ones let out for hire, +he had no confidence, had no choice but to draw his sword; it was lucky +for him, however, that he was near the coach, from which he was able to +snatch a cushion that served him for a shield; and they went at one +another as if they had been two mortal enemies. The others strove to make +peace between them, but could not, for the Biscayan declared in his +disjointed phrase that if they did not let him finish his battle he would +kill his mistress and everyone that strove to prevent him. The lady in +the coach, amazed and terrified at what she saw, ordered the coachman to +draw aside a little, and set herself to watch this severe struggle, in +the course of which the Biscayan smote Don Quixote a mighty stroke on the +shoulder over the top of his buckler, which, given to one without armour, +would have cleft him to the waist. Don Quixote, feeling the weight of +this prodigious blow, cried aloud, saying, "O lady of my soul, Dulcinea, +flower of beauty, come to the aid of this your knight, who, in fulfilling +his obligations to your beauty, finds himself in this extreme peril." To +say this, to lift his sword, to shelter himself well behind his buckler, +and to assail the Biscayan was the work of an instant, determined as he +was to venture all upon a single blow. The Biscayan, seeing him come on +in this way, was convinced of his courage by his spirited bearing, and +resolved to follow his example, so he waited for him keeping well under +cover of his cushion, being unable to execute any sort of manoeuvre with +his mule, which, dead tired and never meant for this kind of game, could +not stir a step. + +On, then, as aforesaid, came Don Quixote against the wary Biscayan, with +uplifted sword and a firm intention of splitting him in half, while on +his side the Biscayan waited for him sword in hand, and under the +protection of his cushion; and all present stood trembling, waiting in +suspense the result of blows such as threatened to fall, and the lady in +the coach and the rest of her following were making a thousand vows and +offerings to all the images and shrines of Spain, that God might deliver +her squire and all of them from this great peril in which they found +themselves. But it spoils all, that at this point and crisis the author +of the history leaves this battle impending, giving as excuse that he +could find nothing more written about these achievements of Don Quixote +than what has been already set forth. It is true the second author of +this work was unwilling to believe that a history so curious could have +been allowed to fall under the sentence of oblivion, or that the wits of +La Mancha could have been so undiscerning as not to preserve in their +archives or registries some documents referring to this famous knight; +and this being his persuasion, he did not despair of finding the +conclusion of this pleasant history, which, heaven favouring him, he did +find in a way that shall be related in the Second Part. + +Chapter IX. - +In which is concluded and finished the terrific battle between the +gallant Biscayan and the valiant Manchegan + +In the First Part of this history we left the valiant Biscayan and the +renowned Don Quixote with drawn swords uplifted, ready to deliver two +such furious slashing blows that if they had fallen full and fair they +would at least have split and cleft them asunder from top to toe and laid +them open like a pomegranate; and at this so critical point the +delightful history came to a stop and stood cut short without any +intimation from the author where what was missing was to be found. + +This distressed me greatly, because the pleasure derived from having read +such a small portion turned to vexation at the thought of the poor chance +that presented itself of finding the large part that, so it seemed to me, +was missing of such an interesting tale. It appeared to me to be a thing +impossible and contrary to all precedent that so good a knight should +have been without some sage to undertake the task of writing his +marvellous achievements; a thing that was never wanting to any of those +knights-errant who, they say, went after adventures; for every one of +them had one or two sages as if made on purpose, who not only recorded +their deeds but described their most trifling thoughts and follies, +however secret they might be; and such a good knight could not have been +so unfortunate as not to have what Platir and others like him had in +abundance. And so I could not bring myself to believe that such a gallant +tale had been left maimed and mutilated, and I laid the blame on Time, +the devourer and destroyer of all things, that had either concealed or +consumed it. + +On the other hand, it struck me that, inasmuch as among his books there +had been found such modern ones as "The Enlightenment of Jealousy" and +the "Nymphs and Shepherds of Henares," his story must likewise be modern, +and that though it might not be written, it might exist in the memory of +the people of his village and of those in the neighbourhood. This +reflection kept me perplexed and longing to know really and truly the +whole life and wondrous deeds of our famous Spaniard, Don Quixote of La +Mancha, light and mirror of Manchegan chivalry, and the first that in our +age and in these so evil days devoted himself to the labour and exercise +of the arms of knight-errantry, righting wrongs, succouring widows, and +protecting damsels of that sort that used to ride about, whip in hand, on +their palfreys, with all their virginity about them, from mountain to +mountain and valley to valley--for, if it were not for some ruffian, or +boor with a hood and hatchet, or monstrous giant, that forced them, there +were in days of yore damsels that at the end of eighty years, in all +which time they had never slept a day under a roof, went to their graves +as much maids as the mothers that bore them. I say, then, that in these +and other respects our gallant Don Quixote is worthy of everlasting and +notable praise, nor should it be withheld even from me for the labour and +pains spent in searching for the conclusion of this delightful history; +though I know well that if Heaven, chance and good fortune had not helped +me, the world would have remained deprived of an entertainment and +pleasure that for a couple of hours or so may well occupy him who shall +read it attentively. The discovery of it occurred in this way. + +One day, as I was in the Alcana of Toledo, a boy came up to sell some +pamphlets and old papers to a silk mercer, and, as I am fond of reading +even the very scraps of paper in the streets, led by this natural bent of +mine I took up one of the pamphlets the boy had for sale, and saw that it +was in characters which I recognised as Arabic, and as I was unable to +read them though I could recognise them, I looked about to see if there +were any Spanish-speaking Morisco at hand to read them for me; nor was +there any great difficulty in finding such an interpreter, for even had I +sought one for an older and better language I should have found him. In +short, chance provided me with one, who when I told him what I wanted and +put the book into his hands, opened it in the middle and after reading a +little in it began to laugh. I asked him what he was laughing at, and he +replied that it was at something the book had written in the margin by +way of a note. I bade him tell it to me; and he still laughing said, "In +the margin, as I told you, this is written: 'This Dulcinea del Toboso so +often mentioned in this history, had, they say, the best hand of any +woman in all La Mancha for salting pigs.'" + +When I heard Dulcinea del Toboso named, I was struck with surprise and +amazement, for it occurred to me at once that these pamphlets contained +the history of Don Quixote. With this idea I pressed him to read the +beginning, and doing so, turning the Arabic offhand into Castilian, he +told me it meant, "History of Don Quixote of La Mancha, written by Cide +Hamete Benengeli, an Arab historian." It required great caution to hide +the joy I felt when the title of the book reached my ears, and snatching +it from the silk mercer, I bought all the papers and pamphlets from the +boy for half a real; and if he had had his wits about him and had known +how eager I was for them, he might have safely calculated on making more +than six reals by the bargain. I withdrew at once with the Morisco into +the cloister of the cathedral, and begged him to turn all these pamphlets +that related to Don Quixote into the Castilian tongue, without omitting +or adding anything to them, offering him whatever payment he pleased. He +was satisfied with two arrobas of raisins and two bushels of wheat, and +promised to translate them faithfully and with all despatch; but to make +the matter easier, and not to let such a precious find out of my hands, I +took him to my house, where in little more than a month and a half he +translated the whole just as it is set down here. + +In the first pamphlet the battle between Don Quixote and the Biscayan was +drawn to the very life, they planted in the same attitude as the history +describes, their swords raised, and the one protected by his buckler, the +other by his cushion, and the Biscayan's mule so true to nature that it +could be seen to be a hired one a bowshot off. The Biscayan had an +inscription under his feet which said, "Don Sancho de Azpeitia," which no +doubt must have been his name; and at the feet of Rocinante was another +that said, "Don Quixote." Rocinante was marvellously portrayed, so long +and thin, so lank and lean, with so much backbone and so far gone in +consumption, that he showed plainly with what judgment and propriety the +name of Rocinante had been bestowed upon him. Near him was Sancho Panza +holding the halter of his ass, at whose feet was another label that said, +"Sancho Zancas," and according to the picture, he must have had a big +belly, a short body, and long shanks, for which reason, no doubt, the +names of Panza and Zancas were given him, for by these two surnames the +history several times calls him. Some other trifling particulars might be +mentioned, but they are all of slight importance and have nothing to do +with the true relation of the history; and no history can be bad so long +as it is true. + +If against the present one any objection be raised on the score of its +truth, it can only be that its author was an Arab, as lying is a very +common propensity with those of that nation; though, as they are such +enemies of ours, it is conceivable that there were omissions rather than +additions made in the course of it. And this is my own opinion; for, +where he could and should give freedom to his pen in praise of so worthy +a knight, he seems to me deliberately to pass it over in silence; which +is ill done and worse contrived, for it is the business and duty of +historians to be exact, truthful, and wholly free from passion, and +neither interest nor fear, hatred nor love, should make them swerve from +the path of truth, whose mother is history, rival of time, storehouse of +deeds, witness for the past, example and counsel for the present, and +warning for the future. In this I know will be found all that can be +desired in the pleasantest, and if it be wanting in any good quality, I +maintain it is the fault of its hound of an author and not the fault of +the subject. To be brief, its Second Part, according to the translation, +began in this way: + +With trenchant swords upraised and poised on high, it seemed as though +the two valiant and wrathful combatants stood threatening heaven, and +earth, and hell, with such resolution and determination did they bear +themselves. The fiery Biscayan was the first to strike a blow, which was +delivered with such force and fury that had not the sword turned in its +course, that single stroke would have sufficed to put an end to the +bitter struggle and to all the adventures of our knight; but that good +fortune which reserved him for greater things, turned aside the sword of +his adversary, so that although it smote him upon the left shoulder, it +did him no more harm than to strip all that side of its armour, carrying +away a great part of his helmet with half of his ear, all which with +fearful ruin fell to the ground, leaving him in a sorry plight. + +Good God! Who is there that could properly describe the rage that filled +the heart of our Manchegan when he saw himself dealt with in this +fashion? All that can be said is, it was such that he again raised +himself in his stirrups, and, grasping his sword more firmly with both +hands, he came down on the Biscayan with such fury, smiting him full over +the cushion and over the head, that--even so good a shield proving +useless--as if a mountain had fallen on him, he began to bleed from nose, +mouth, and ears, reeling as if about to fall backwards from his mule, as +no doubt he would have done had he not flung his arms about its neck; at +the same time, however, he slipped his feet out of the stirrups and then +unclasped his arms, and the mule, taking fright at the terrible blow, +made off across the plain, and with a few plunges flung its master to the +ground. Don Quixote stood looking on very calmly, and, when he saw him +fall, leaped from his horse and with great briskness ran to him, and, +presenting the point of his sword to his eyes, bade him surrender, or he +would cut his head off. The Biscayan was so bewildered that he was unable +to answer a word, and it would have gone hard with him, so blind was Don +Quixote, had not the ladies in the coach, who had hitherto been watching +the combat in great terror, hastened to where he stood and implored him +with earnest entreaties to grant them the great grace and favour of +sparing their squire's life; to which Don Quixote replied with much +gravity and dignity, "In truth, fair ladies, I am well content to do what +ye ask of me; but it must be on one condition and understanding, which is +that this knight promise me to go to the village of El Toboso, and on my +behalf present himself before the peerless lady Dulcinea, that she deal +with him as shall be most pleasing to her." + +The terrified and disconsolate ladies, without discussing Don Quixote's +demand or asking who Dulcinea might be, promised that their squire should +do all that had been commanded. + +"Then, on the faith of that promise," said Don Quixote, "I shall do him +no further harm, though he well deserves it of me." + +Chapter X. - +Of the pleasant discourse that passed between Don Quixote and his Squire +Sancho Panza + +Now by this time Sancho had risen, rather the worse for the handling of +the friars' muleteers, and stood watching the battle of his master, Don +Quixote, and praying to God in his heart that it might be his will to +grant him the victory, and that he might thereby win some island to make +him governor of, as he had promised. Seeing, therefore, that the struggle +was now over, and that his master was returning to mount Rocinante, he +approached to hold the stirrup for him, and, before he could mount, he +went on his knees before him, and taking his hand, kissed it saying, "May +it please your worship, Senor Don Quixote, to give me the government of +that island which has been won in this hard fight, for be it ever so big +I feel myself in sufficient force to be able to govern it as much and as +well as anyone in the world who has ever governed islands." + +To which Don Quixote replied, "Thou must take notice, brother Sancho, +that this adventure and those like it are not adventures of islands, but +of cross-roads, in which nothing is got except a broken head or an ear +the less: have patience, for adventures will present themselves from +which I may make you, not only a governor, but something more." + +Sancho gave him many thanks, and again kissing his hand and the skirt of +his hauberk, helped him to mount Rocinante, and mounting his ass himself, +proceeded to follow his master, who at a brisk pace, without taking +leave, or saying anything further to the ladies belonging to the coach, +turned into a wood that was hard by. Sancho followed him at his ass's +best trot, but Rocinante stepped out so that, seeing himself left behind, +he was forced to call to his master to wait for him. Don Quixote did so, +reining in Rocinante until his weary squire came up, who on reaching him +said, "It seems to me, senor, it would be prudent in us to go and take +refuge in some church, for, seeing how mauled he with whom you fought has +been left, it will be no wonder if they give information of the affair to +the Holy Brotherhood and arrest us, and, faith, if they do, before we +come out of gaol we shall have to sweat for it." + +"Peace," said Don Quixote; "where hast thou ever seen or heard that a +knight-errant has been arraigned before a court of justice, however many +homicides he may have committed?" + +"I know nothing about omecils," answered Sancho, "nor in my life have had +anything to do with one; I only know that the Holy Brotherhood looks +after those who fight in the fields, and in that other matter I do not +meddle." + +"Then thou needst have no uneasiness, my friend," said Don Quixote, "for +I will deliver thee out of the hands of the Chaldeans, much more out of +those of the Brotherhood. But tell me, as thou livest, hast thou seen a +more valiant knight than I in all the known world; hast thou read in +history of any who has or had higher mettle in attack, more spirit in +maintaining it, more dexterity in wounding or skill in overthrowing?" + +"The truth is," answered Sancho, "that I have never read any history, for +I can neither read nor write, but what I will venture to bet is that a +more daring master than your worship I have never served in all the days +of my life, and God grant that this daring be not paid for where I have +said; what I beg of your worship is to dress your wound, for a great deal +of blood flows from that ear, and I have here some lint and a little +white ointment in the alforjas." + +"All that might be well dispensed with," said Don Quixote, "if I had +remembered to make a vial of the balsam of Fierabras, for time and +medicine are saved by one single drop." + +"What vial and what balsam is that?" said Sancho Panza. + +"It is a balsam," answered Don Quixote, "the receipt of which I have in +my memory, with which one need have no fear of death, or dread dying of +any wound; and so when I make it and give it to thee thou hast nothing to +do when in some battle thou seest they have cut me in half through the +middle of the body--as is wont to happen frequently,--but neatly and with +great nicety, ere the blood congeal, to place that portion of the body +which shall have fallen to the ground upon the other half which remains +in the saddle, taking care to fit it on evenly and exactly. Then thou +shalt give me to drink but two drops of the balsam I have mentioned, and +thou shalt see me become sounder than an apple." + +"If that be so," said Panza, "I renounce henceforth the government of the +promised island, and desire nothing more in payment of my many and +faithful services than that your worship give me the receipt of this +supreme liquor, for I am persuaded it will be worth more than two reals +an ounce anywhere, and I want no more to pass the rest of my life in ease +and honour; but it remains to be told if it costs much to make it." + +"With less than three reals, six quarts of it may be made," said Don +Quixote. + +"Sinner that I am!" said Sancho, "then why does your worship put off +making it and teaching it to me?" + +"Peace, friend," answered Don Quixote; "greater secrets I mean to teach +thee and greater favours to bestow upon thee; and for the present let us +see to the dressing, for my ear pains me more than I could wish." + +Sancho took out some lint and ointment from the alforjas; but when Don +Quixote came to see his helmet shattered, he was like to lose his senses, +and clapping his hand upon his sword and raising his eyes to heaven, be +said, "I swear by the Creator of all things and the four Gospels in their +fullest extent, to do as the great Marquis of Mantua did when he swore to +avenge the death of his nephew Baldwin (and that was not to eat bread +from a table-cloth, nor embrace his wife, and other points which, though +I cannot now call them to mind, I here grant as expressed) until I take +complete vengeance upon him who has committed such an offence against +me." + +Hearing this, Sancho said to him, "Your worship should bear in mind, +Senor Don Quixote, that if the knight has done what was commanded him in +going to present himself before my lady Dulcinea del Toboso, he will have +done all that he was bound to do, and does not deserve further punishment +unless he commits some new offence." + +"Thou hast said well and hit the point," answered Don Quixote; and so I +recall the oath in so far as relates to taking fresh vengeance on him, +but I make and confirm it anew to lead the life I have said until such +time as I take by force from some knight another helmet such as this and +as good; and think not, Sancho, that I am raising smoke with straw in +doing so, for I have one to imitate in the matter, since the very same +thing to a hair happened in the case of Mambrino's helmet, which cost +Sacripante so dear." + +"Senor," replied Sancho, "let your worship send all such oaths to the +devil, for they are very pernicious to salvation and prejudicial to the +conscience; just tell me now, if for several days to come we fall in with +no man armed with a helmet, what are we to do? Is the oath to be observed +in spite of all the inconvenience and discomfort it will be to sleep in +your clothes, and not to sleep in a house, and a thousand other +mortifications contained in the oath of that old fool the Marquis of +Mantua, which your worship is now wanting to revive? Let your worship +observe that there are no men in armour travelling on any of these roads, +nothing but carriers and carters, who not only do not wear helmets, but +perhaps never heard tell of them all their lives." + +"Thou art wrong there," said Don Quixote, "for we shall not have been +above two hours among these cross-roads before we see more men in armour +than came to Albraca to win the fair Angelica." + +"Enough," said Sancho; "so be it then, and God grant us success, and that +the time for winning that island which is costing me so dear may soon +come, and then let me die." + +"I have already told thee, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "not to give +thyself any uneasiness on that score; for if an island should fail, there +is the kingdom of Denmark, or of Sobradisa, which will fit thee as a ring +fits the finger, and all the more that, being on terra firma, thou wilt +all the better enjoy thyself. But let us leave that to its own time; see +if thou hast anything for us to eat in those alforjas, because we must +presently go in quest of some castle where we may lodge to-night and make +the balsam I told thee of, for I swear to thee by God, this ear is giving +me great pain." + +"I have here an onion and a little cheese and a few scraps of bread," +said Sancho, "but they are not victuals fit for a valiant knight like +your worship." + +"How little thou knowest about it," answered Don Quixote; "I would have +thee to know, Sancho, that it is the glory of knights-errant to go +without eating for a month, and even when they do eat, that it should be +of what comes first to hand; and this would have been clear to thee hadst +thou read as many histories as I have, for, though they are very many, +among them all I have found no mention made of knights-errant eating, +unless by accident or at some sumptuous banquets prepared for them, and +the rest of the time they passed in dalliance. And though it is plain +they could not do without eating and performing all the other natural +functions, because, in fact, they were men like ourselves, it is plain +too that, wandering as they did the most part of their lives through +woods and wilds and without a cook, their most usual fare would be rustic +viands such as those thou now offer me; so that, friend Sancho, let not +that distress thee which pleases me, and do not seek to make a new world +or pervert knight-errantry." + +"Pardon me, your worship," said Sancho, "for, as I cannot read or write, +as I said just now, I neither know nor comprehend the rules of the +profession of chivalry: henceforward I will stock the alforjas with every +kind of dry fruit for your worship, as you are a knight; and for myself, +as I am not one, I will furnish them with poultry and other things more +substantial." + +"I do not say, Sancho," replied Don Quixote, "that it is imperative on +knights-errant not to eat anything else but the fruits thou speakest of; +only that their more usual diet must be those, and certain herbs they +found in the fields which they knew and I know too." + +"A good thing it is," answered Sancho, "to know those herbs, for to my +thinking it will be needful some day to put that knowledge into +practice." + +And here taking out what he said he had brought, the pair made their +repast peaceably and sociably. But anxious to find quarters for the +night, they with all despatch made an end of their poor dry fare, mounted +at once, and made haste to reach some habitation before night set in; but +daylight and the hope of succeeding in their object failed them close by +the huts of some goatherds, so they determined to pass the night there, +and it was as much to Sancho's discontent not to have reached a house, as +it was to his master's satisfaction to sleep under the open heaven, for +he fancied that each time this happened to him he performed an act of +ownership that helped to prove his chivalry. + +Chapter XI. - +What befell Don quixote with certain goatherds + +He was cordially welcomed by the goatherds, and Sancho, having as best he +could put up Rocinante and the ass, drew towards the fragrance that came +from some pieces of salted goat simmering in a pot on the fire; and +though he would have liked at once to try if they were ready to be +transferred from the pot to the stomach, he refrained from doing so as +the goatherds removed them from the fire, and laying sheepskins on the +ground, quickly spread their rude table, and with signs of hearty +good-will invited them both to share what they had. Round the skins six +of the men belonging to the fold seated themselves, having first with +rough politeness pressed Don Quixote to take a seat upon a trough which +they placed for him upside down. Don Quixote seated himself, and Sancho +remained standing to serve the cup, which was made of horn. Seeing him +standing, his master said to him: + +"That thou mayest see, Sancho, the good that knight-errantry contains in +itself, and how those who fill any office in it are on the high road to +be speedily honoured and esteemed by the world, I desire that thou seat +thyself here at my side and in the company of these worthy people, and +that thou be one with me who am thy master and natural lord, and that +thou eat from my plate and drink from whatever I drink from; for the same +may be said of knight-errantry as of love, that it levels all." + +"Great thanks," said Sancho, "but I may tell your worship that provided I +have enough to eat, I can eat it as well, or better, standing, and by +myself, than seated alongside of an emperor. And indeed, if the truth is +to be told, what I eat in my corner without form or fuss has much more +relish for me, even though it be bread and onions, than the turkeys of +those other tables where I am forced to chew slowly, drink little, wipe +my mouth every minute, and cannot sneeze or cough if I want or do other +things that are the privileges of liberty and solitude. So, senor, as for +these honours which your worship would put upon me as a servant and +follower of knight-errantry, exchange them for other things which may be +of more use and advantage to me; for these, though I fully acknowledge +them as received, I renounce from this moment to the end of the world." + +"For all that," said Don Quixote, "thou must seat thyself, because him +who humbleth himself God exalteth;" and seizing him by the arm he forced +him to sit down beside himself. + +The goatherds did not understand this jargon about squires and +knights-errant, and all they did was to eat in silence and stare at their +guests, who with great elegance and appetite were stowing away pieces as +big as one's fist. The course of meat finished, they spread upon the +sheepskins a great heap of parched acorns, and with them they put down a +half cheese harder than if it had been made of mortar. All this while the +horn was not idle, for it went round so constantly, now full, now empty, +like the bucket of a water-wheel, that it soon drained one of the two +wine-skins that were in sight. When Don Quixote had quite appeased his +appetite he took up a handful of the acorns, and contemplating them +attentively delivered himself somewhat in this fashion: + +"Happy the age, happy the time, to which the ancients gave the name of +golden, not because in that fortunate age the gold so coveted in this our +iron one was gained without toil, but because they that lived in it knew +not the two words "mine" and "thine"! In that blessed age all things were +in common; to win the daily food no labour was required of any save to +stretch forth his hand and gather it from the sturdy oaks that stood +generously inviting him with their sweet ripe fruit. The clear streams +and running brooks yielded their savoury limpid waters in noble +abundance. The busy and sagacious bees fixed their republic in the clefts +of the rocks and hollows of the trees, offering without usance the +plenteous produce of their fragrant toil to every hand. The mighty cork +trees, unenforced save of their own courtesy, shed the broad light bark +that served at first to roof the houses supported by rude stakes, a +protection against the inclemency of heaven alone. Then all was peace, +all friendship, all concord; as yet the dull share of the crooked plough +had not dared to rend and pierce the tender bowels of our first mother +that without compulsion yielded from every portion of her broad fertile +bosom all that could satisfy, sustain, and delight the children that then +possessed her. Then was it that the innocent and fair young shepherdess +roamed from vale to vale and hill to hill, with flowing locks, and no +more garments than were needful modestly to cover what modesty seeks and +ever sought to hide. Nor were their ornaments like those in use to-day, +set off by Tyrian purple, and silk tortured in endless fashions, but the +wreathed leaves of the green dock and ivy, wherewith they went as bravely +and becomingly decked as our Court dames with all the rare and +far-fetched artifices that idle curiosity has taught them. Then the +love-thoughts of the heart clothed themselves simply and naturally as the +heart conceived them, nor sought to commend themselves by forced and +rambling verbiage. Fraud, deceit, or malice had then not yet mingled with +truth and sincerity. Justice held her ground, undisturbed and unassailed +by the efforts of favour and of interest, that now so much impair, +pervert, and beset her. Arbitrary law had not yet established itself in +the mind of the judge, for then there was no cause to judge and no one to +be judged. Maidens and modesty, as I have said, wandered at will alone +and unattended, without fear of insult from lawlessness or libertine +assault, and if they were undone it was of their own will and pleasure. +But now in this hateful age of ours not one is safe, not though some new +labyrinth like that of Crete conceal and surround her; even there the +pestilence of gallantry will make its way to them through chinks or on +the air by the zeal of its accursed importunity, and, despite of all +seclusion, lead them to ruin. In defence of these, as time advanced and +wickedness increased, the order of knights-errant was instituted, to +defend maidens, to protect widows and to succour the orphans and the +needy. To this order I belong, brother goatherds, to whom I return thanks +for the hospitality and kindly welcome ye offer me and my squire; for +though by natural law all living are bound to show favour to +knights-errant, yet, seeing that without knowing this obligation ye have +welcomed and feasted me, it is right that with all the good-will in my +power I should thank you for yours." + +All this long harangue (which might very well have been spared) our +knight delivered because the acorns they gave him reminded him of the +golden age; and the whim seized him to address all this unnecessary +argument to the goatherds, who listened to him gaping in amazement +without saying a word in reply. Sancho likewise held his peace and ate +acorns, and paid repeated visits to the second wine-skin, which they had +hung up on a cork tree to keep the wine cool. + +Don Quixote was longer in talking than the supper in finishing, at the +end of which one of the goatherds said, "That your worship, senor +knight-errant, may say with more truth that we show you hospitality with +ready good-will, we will give you amusement and pleasure by making one of +our comrades sing: he will be here before long, and he is a very +intelligent youth and deep in love, and what is more he can read and +write and play on the rebeck to perfection." + +The goatherd had hardly done speaking, when the notes of the rebeck +reached their ears; and shortly after, the player came up, a very +good-looking young man of about two-and-twenty. His comrades asked him if +he had supped, and on his replying that he had, he who had already made +the offer said to him: + +"In that case, Antonio, thou mayest as well do us the pleasure of singing +a little, that the gentleman, our guest, may see that even in the +mountains and woods there are musicians: we have told him of thy +accomplishments, and we want thee to show them and prove that we say +true; so, as thou livest, pray sit down and sing that ballad about thy +love that thy uncle the prebendary made thee, and that was so much liked +in the town." + +"With all my heart," said the young man, and without waiting for more +pressing he seated himself on the trunk of a felled oak, and tuning his +rebeck, presently began to sing to these words. + +poem{ + +ANTONIO'S BALLAD + +Thou dost love me well, Olalla; + Well I know it, even though +Love's mute tongues, thine eyes, have never + By their glances told me so. + +For I know my love thou knowest, + Therefore thine to claim I dare: +Once it ceases to be secret, + Love need never feel despair. + +True it is, Olalla, sometimes + Thou hast all too plainly shown +That thy heart is brass in hardness, + And thy snowy bosom stone. + +Yet for all that, in thy coyness, + And thy fickle fits between, +Hope is there--at least the border + Of her garment may be seen. + +Lures to faith are they, those glimpses, + And to faith in thee I hold; +Kindness cannot make it stronger, + Coldness cannot make it cold. + +If it be that love is gentle, + In thy gentleness I see +Something holding out assurance + To the hope of winning thee. + +If it be that in devotion + Lies a power hearts to move, +That which every day I show thee, + Helpful to my suit should prove. + +Many a time thou must have noticed-- + If to notice thou dost care-- +How I go about on Monday + Dressed in all my Sunday wear. + +Love's eyes love to look on brightness; + Love loves what is gaily drest; +Sunday, Monday, all I care is + Thou shouldst see me in my best. + +No account I make of dances, + Or of strains that pleased thee so, +Keeping thee awake from midnight + Till the cocks began to crow; + +Or of how I roundly swore it + That there's none so fair as thou; +True it is, but as I said it, + By the girls I'm hated now. + +For Teresa of the hillside + At my praise of thee was sore; +Said, "You think you love an angel; + It's a monkey you adore; + +"Caught by all her glittering trinkets, + And her borrowed braids of hair, +And a host of made-up beauties + That would Love himself ensnare." + +'T was a lie, and so I told her, + And her cousin at the word +Gave me his defiance for it; + And what followed thou hast heard. + +Mine is no high-flown affection, + Mine no passion par amours-- +As they call it--what I offer + Is an honest love, and pure. + +Cunning cords the holy Church has, + Cords of softest silk they be; +Put thy neck beneath the yoke, dear; + Mine will follow, thou wilt see. + +Else--and once for all I swear it + By the saint of most renown-- +If I ever quit the mountains, + 'T will be in a friar's gown. + +}poem + +Here the goatherd brought his song to an end, and though Don Quixote +entreated him to sing more, Sancho had no mind that way, being more +inclined for sleep than for listening to songs; so said he to his master, +"Your worship will do well to settle at once where you mean to pass the +night, for the labour these good men are at all day does not allow them +to spend the night in singing." + +"I understand thee, Sancho," replied Don Quixote; "I perceive clearly +that those visits to the wine-skin demand compensation in sleep rather +than in music." + +"It's sweet to us all, blessed be God," said Sancho. + +"I do not deny it," replied Don Quixote; "but settle thyself where thou +wilt; those of my calling are more becomingly employed in watching than +in sleeping; still it would be as well if thou wert to dress this ear for +me again, for it is giving me more pain than it need." + +Sancho did as he bade him, but one of the goatherds, seeing the wound, +told him not to be uneasy, as he would apply a remedy with which it would +be soon healed; and gathering some leaves of rosemary, of which there was +a great quantity there, he chewed them and mixed them with a little salt, +and applying them to the ear he secured them firmly with a bandage, +assuring him that no other treatment would be required, and so it proved. + +Chapter XII. - +Of what a goatherd related to those with Don Quixote + +Just then another young man, one of those who fetched their provisions +from the village, came up and said, "Do you know what is going on in the +village, comrades?" + +"How could we know it?" replied one of them. + +"Well, then, you must know," continued the young man, "this morning that +famous student-shepherd called Chrysostom died, and it is rumoured that +he died of love for that devil of a village girl the daughter of +Guillermo the Rich, she that wanders about the wolds here in the dress of +a shepherdess." + +"You mean Marcela?" said one. + +"Her I mean," answered the goatherd; "and the best of it is, he has +directed in his will that he is to be buried in the fields like a Moor, +and at the foot of the rock where the Cork-tree spring is, because, as +the story goes (and they say he himself said so), that was the place +where he first saw her. And he has also left other directions which the +clergy of the village say should not and must not be obeyed because they +savour of paganism. To all which his great friend Ambrosio the student, +he who, like him, also went dressed as a shepherd, replies that +everything must be done without any omission according to the directions +left by Chrysostom, and about this the village is all in commotion; +however, report says that, after all, what Ambrosio and all the shepherds +his friends desire will be done, and to-morrow they are coming to bury +him with great ceremony where I said. I am sure it will be something +worth seeing; at least I will not fail to go and see it even if I knew I +should not return to the village tomorrow." + +"We will do the same," answered the goatherds, "and cast lots to see who +must stay to mind the goats of all." + +"Thou sayest well, Pedro," said one, "though there will be no need of +taking that trouble, for I will stay behind for all; and don't suppose it +is virtue or want of curiosity in me; it is that the splinter that ran +into my foot the other day will not let me walk." + +"For all that, we thank thee," answered Pedro. + +Don Quixote asked Pedro to tell him who the dead man was and who the +shepherdess, to which Pedro replied that all he knew was that the dead +man was a wealthy gentleman belonging to a village in those mountains, +who had been a student at Salamanca for many years, at the end of which +he returned to his village with the reputation of being very learned and +deeply read. "Above all, they said, he was learned in the science of the +stars and of what went on yonder in the heavens and the sun and the moon, +for he told us of the cris of the sun and moon to exact time." + +"Eclipse it is called, friend, not cris, the darkening of those two +luminaries," said Don Quixote; but Pedro, not troubling himself with +trifles, went on with his story, saying, "Also he foretold when the year +was going to be one of abundance or estility." + +"Sterility, you mean," said Don Quixote. + +"Sterility or estility," answered Pedro, "it is all the same in the end. +And I can tell you that by this his father and friends who believed him +grew very rich because they did as he advised them, bidding them 'sow +barley this year, not wheat; this year you may sow pulse and not barley; +the next there will be a full oil crop, and the three following not a +drop will be got.'" + +"That science is called astrology," said Don Quixote. + +"I do not know what it is called," replied Pedro, "but I know that he +knew all this and more besides. But, to make an end, not many months had +passed after he returned from Salamanca, when one day he appeared dressed +as a shepherd with his crook and sheepskin, having put off the long gown +he wore as a scholar; and at the same time his great friend, Ambrosio by +name, who had been his companion in his studies, took to the shepherd's +dress with him. I forgot to say that Chrysostom, who is dead, was a great +man for writing verses, so much so that he made carols for Christmas Eve, +and plays for Corpus Christi, which the young men of our village acted, +and all said they were excellent. When the villagers saw the two scholars +so unexpectedly appearing in shepherd's dress, they were lost in wonder, +and could not guess what had led them to make so extraordinary a change. +About this time the father of our Chrysostom died, and he was left heir +to a large amount of property in chattels as well as in land, no small +number of cattle and sheep, and a large sum of money, of all of which the +young man was left dissolute owner, and indeed he was deserving of it +all, for he was a very good comrade, and kind-hearted, and a friend of +worthy folk, and had a countenance like a benediction. Presently it came +to be known that he had changed his dress with no other object than to +wander about these wastes after that shepherdess Marcela our lad +mentioned a while ago, with whom the deceased Chrysostom had fallen in +love. And I must tell you now, for it is well you should know it, who +this girl is; perhaps, and even without any perhaps, you will not have +heard anything like it all the days of your life, though you should live +more years than sarna." + +"Say Sarra," said Don Quixote, unable to endure the goatherd's confusion +of words. + +"The sarna lives long enough," answered Pedro; "and if, senor, you must +go finding fault with words at every step, we shall not make an end of it +this twelvemonth." + +"Pardon me, friend," said Don Quixote; "but, as there is such a +difference between sarna and Sarra, I told you of it; however, you have +answered very rightly, for sarna lives longer than Sarra: so continue +your story, and I will not object any more to anything." + +"I say then, my dear sir," said the goatherd, "that in our village there +was a farmer even richer than the father of Chrysostom, who was named +Guillermo, and upon whom God bestowed, over and above great wealth, a +daughter at whose birth her mother died, the most respected woman there +was in this neighbourhood; I fancy I can see her now with that +countenance which had the sun on one side and the moon on the other; and +moreover active, and kind to the poor, for which I trust that at the +present moment her soul is in bliss with God in the other world. Her +husband Guillermo died of grief at the death of so good a wife, leaving +his daughter Marcela, a child and rich, to the care of an uncle of hers, +a priest and prebendary in our village. The girl grew up with such beauty +that it reminded us of her mother's, which was very great, and yet it was +thought that the daughter's would exceed it; and so when she reached the +age of fourteen to fifteen years nobody beheld her but blessed God that +had made her so beautiful, and the greater number were in love with her +past redemption. Her uncle kept her in great seclusion and retirement, +but for all that the fame of her great beauty spread so that, as well for +it as for her great wealth, her uncle was asked, solicited, and +importuned, to give her in marriage not only by those of our town but of +those many leagues round, and by the persons of highest quality in them. +But he, being a good Christian man, though he desired to give her in +marriage at once, seeing her to be old enough, was unwilling to do so +without her consent, not that he had any eye to the gain and profit which +the custody of the girl's property brought him while he put off her +marriage; and, faith, this was said in praise of the good priest in more +than one set in the town. For I would have you know, Sir Errant, that in +these little villages everything is talked about and everything is carped +at, and rest assured, as I am, that the priest must be over and above +good who forces his parishioners to speak well of him, especially in +villages." + +"That is the truth," said Don Quixote; "but go on, for the story is very +good, and you, good Pedro, tell it with very good grace." + +"May that of the Lord not be wanting to me," said Pedro; "that is the one +to have. To proceed; you must know that though the uncle put before his +niece and described to her the qualities of each one in particular of the +many who had asked her in marriage, begging her to marry and make a +choice according to her own taste, she never gave any other answer than +that she had no desire to marry just yet, and that being so young she did +not think herself fit to bear the burden of matrimony. At these, to all +appearance, reasonable excuses that she made, her uncle ceased to urge +her, and waited till she was somewhat more advanced in age and could mate +herself to her own liking. For, said he--and he said quite right--parents +are not to settle children in life against their will. But when one least +looked for it, lo and behold! one day the demure Marcela makes her +appearance turned shepherdess; and, in spite of her uncle and all those +of the town that strove to dissuade her, took to going a-field with the +other shepherd-lasses of the village, and tending her own flock. And so, +since she appeared in public, and her beauty came to be seen openly, I +could not well tell you how many rich youths, gentlemen and peasants, +have adopted the costume of Chrysostom, and go about these fields making +love to her. One of these, as has been already said, was our deceased +friend, of whom they say that he did not love but adore her. But you must +not suppose, because Marcela chose a life of such liberty and +independence, and of so little or rather no retirement, that she has +given any occasion, or even the semblance of one, for disparagement of +her purity and modesty; on the contrary, such and so great is the +vigilance with which she watches over her honour, that of all those that +court and woo her not one has boasted, or can with truth boast, that she +has given him any hope however small of obtaining his desire. For +although she does not avoid or shun the society and conversation of the +shepherds, and treats them courteously and kindly, should any one of them +come to declare his intention to her, though it be one as proper and holy +as that of matrimony, she flings him from her like a catapult. And with +this kind of disposition she does more harm in this country than if the +plague had got into it, for her affability and her beauty draw on the +hearts of those that associate with her to love her and to court her, but +her scorn and her frankness bring them to the brink of despair; and so +they know not what to say save to proclaim her aloud cruel and +hard-hearted, and other names of the same sort which well describe the +nature of her character; and if you should remain here any time, senor, +you would hear these hills and valleys resounding with the laments of the +rejected ones who pursue her. Not far from this there is a spot where +there are a couple of dozen of tall beeches, and there is not one of them +but has carved and written on its smooth bark the name of Marcela, and +above some a crown carved on the same tree as though her lover would say +more plainly that Marcela wore and deserved that of all human beauty. +Here one shepherd is sighing, there another is lamenting; there love +songs are heard, here despairing elegies. One will pass all the hours of +the night seated at the foot of some oak or rock, and there, without +having closed his weeping eyes, the sun finds him in the morning bemused +and bereft of sense; and another without relief or respite to his sighs, +stretched on the burning sand in the full heat of the sultry summer +noontide, makes his appeal to the compassionate heavens, and over one and +the other, over these and all, the beautiful Marcela triumphs free and +careless. And all of us that know her are waiting to see what her pride +will come to, and who is to be the happy man that will succeed in taming +a nature so formidable and gaining possession of a beauty so supreme. All +that I have told you being such well-established truth, I am persuaded +that what they say of the cause of Chrysostom's death, as our lad told +us, is the same. And so I advise you, senor, fail not to be present +to-morrow at his burial, which will be well worth seeing, for Chrysostom +had many friends, and it is not half a league from this place to where he +directed he should be buried." + +"I will make a point of it," said Don Quixote, "and I thank you for the +pleasure you have given me by relating so interesting a tale." + +"Oh," said the goatherd, "I do not know even the half of what has +happened to the lovers of Marcela, but perhaps to-morrow we may fall in +with some shepherd on the road who can tell us; and now it will be well +for you to go and sleep under cover, for the night air may hurt your +wound, though with the remedy I have applied to you there is no fear of +an untoward result." + +Sancho Panza, who was wishing the goatherd's loquacity at the devil, on +his part begged his master to go into Pedro's hut to sleep. He did so, +and passed all the rest of the night in thinking of his lady Dulcinea, in +imitation of the lovers of Marcela. Sancho Panza settled himself between +Rocinante and his ass, and slept, not like a lover who had been +discarded, but like a man who had been soundly kicked. + +Chapter XIII. - +In which is ended the story of the shepherdess Marcela, with other +incidents + +Bit hardly had day begun to show itself through the balconies of the +east, when five of the six goatherds came to rouse Don Quixote and tell +him that if he was still of a mind to go and see the famous burial of +Chrysostom they would bear him company. Don Quixote, who desired nothing +better, rose and ordered Sancho to saddle and pannel at once, which he +did with all despatch, and with the same they all set out forthwith. They +had not gone a quarter of a league when at the meeting of two paths they +saw coming towards them some six shepherds dressed in black sheepskins +and with their heads crowned with garlands of cypress and bitter +oleander. Each of them carried a stout holly staff in his hand, and along +with them there came two men of quality on horseback in handsome +travelling dress, with three servants on foot accompanying them. +Courteous salutations were exchanged on meeting, and inquiring one of the +other which way each party was going, they learned that all were bound +for the scene of the burial, so they went on all together. + +One of those on horseback addressing his companion said to him, "It seems +to me, Senor Vivaldo, that we may reckon as well spent the delay we shall +incur in seeing this remarkable funeral, for remarkable it cannot but be +judging by the strange things these shepherds have told us, of both the +dead shepherd and homicide shepherdess." + +"So I think too," replied Vivaldo, "and I would delay not to say a day, +but four, for the sake of seeing it." + +Don Quixote asked them what it was they had heard of Marcela and +Chrysostom. The traveller answered that the same morning they had met +these shepherds, and seeing them dressed in this mournful fashion they +had asked them the reason of their appearing in such a guise; which one +of them gave, describing the strange behaviour and beauty of a +shepherdess called Marcela, and the loves of many who courted her, +together with the death of that Chrysostom to whose burial they were +going. In short, he repeated all that Pedro had related to Don Quixote. + +This conversation dropped, and another was commenced by him who was +called Vivaldo asking Don Quixote what was the reason that led him to go +armed in that fashion in a country so peaceful. To which Don Quixote +replied, "The pursuit of my calling does not allow or permit me to go in +any other fashion; easy life, enjoyment, and repose were invented for +soft courtiers, but toil, unrest, and arms were invented and made for +those alone whom the world calls knights-errant, of whom I, though +unworthy, am the least of all." + +The instant they heard this all set him down as mad, and the better to +settle the point and discover what kind of madness his was, Vivaldo +proceeded to ask him what knights-errant meant. + +"Have not your worships," replied Don Quixote, "read the annals and +histories of England, in which are recorded the famous deeds of King +Arthur, whom we in our popular Castilian invariably call King Artus, with +regard to whom it is an ancient tradition, and commonly received all over +that kingdom of Great Britain, that this king did not die, but was +changed by magic art into a raven, and that in process of time he is to +return to reign and recover his kingdom and sceptre; for which reason it +cannot be proved that from that time to this any Englishman ever killed a +raven? Well, then, in the time of this good king that famous order of +chivalry of the Knights of the Round Table was instituted, and the amour +of Don Lancelot of the Lake with the Queen Guinevere occurred, precisely +as is there related, the go-between and confidante therein being the +highly honourable dame Quintanona, whence came that ballad so well known +and widely spread in our Spain-- + +poem{ + +O never surely was there knight + So served by hand of dame, +As served was he Sir Lancelot hight + When he from Britain came-- + +}poem + +with all the sweet and delectable course of his achievements in love and +war. Handed down from that time, then, this order of chivalry went on +extending and spreading itself over many and various parts of the world; +and in it, famous and renowned for their deeds, were the mighty Amadis of +Gaul with all his sons and descendants to the fifth generation, and the +valiant Felixmarte of Hircania, and the never sufficiently praised +Tirante el Blanco, and in our own days almost we have seen and heard and +talked with the invincible knight Don Belianis of Greece. This, then, +sirs, is to be a knight-errant, and what I have spoken of is the order of +his chivalry, of which, as I have already said, I, though a sinner, have +made profession, and what the aforesaid knights professed that same do I +profess, and so I go through these solitudes and wilds seeking +adventures, resolved in soul to oppose my arm and person to the most +perilous that fortune may offer me in aid of the weak and needy." + +By these words of his the travellers were able to satisfy themselves of +Don Quixote's being out of his senses and of the form of madness that +overmastered him, at which they felt the same astonishment that all felt +on first becoming acquainted with it; and Vivaldo, who was a person of +great shrewdness and of a lively temperament, in order to beguile the +short journey which they said was required to reach the mountain, the +scene of the burial, sought to give him an opportunity of going on with +his absurdities. So he said to him, "It seems to me, Senor Knight-errant, +that your worship has made choice of one of the most austere professions +in the world, and I imagine even that of the Carthusian monks is not so +austere." + +"As austere it may perhaps be," replied our Don Quixote, "but so +necessary for the world I am very much inclined to doubt. For, if the +truth is to be told, the soldier who executes what his captain orders +does no less than the captain himself who gives the order. My meaning, +is, that churchmen in peace and quiet pray to Heaven for the welfare of +the world, but we soldiers and knights carry into effect what they pray +for, defending it with the might of our arms and the edge of our swords, +not under shelter but in the open air, a target for the intolerable rays +of the sun in summer and the piercing frosts of winter. Thus are we God's +ministers on earth and the arms by which his justice is done therein. And +as the business of war and all that relates and belongs to it cannot be +conducted without exceeding great sweat, toil, and exertion, it follows +that those who make it their profession have undoubtedly more labour than +those who in tranquil peace and quiet are engaged in praying to God to +help the weak. I do not mean to say, nor does it enter into my thoughts, +that the knight-errant's calling is as good as that of the monk in his +cell; I would merely infer from what I endure myself that it is beyond a +doubt a more laborious and a more belaboured one, a hungrier and +thirstier, a wretcheder, raggeder, and lousier; for there is no reason to +doubt that the knights-errant of yore endured much hardship in the course +of their lives. And if some of them by the might of their arms did rise +to be emperors, in faith it cost them dear in the matter of blood and +sweat; and if those who attained to that rank had not had magicians and +sages to help them they would have been completely baulked in their +ambition and disappointed in their hopes." + +"That is my own opinion," replied the traveller; "but one thing among +many others seems to me very wrong in knights-errant, and that is that +when they find themselves about to engage in some mighty and perilous +adventure in which there is manifest danger of losing their lives, they +never at the moment of engaging in it think of commending themselves to +God, as is the duty of every good Christian in like peril; instead of +which they commend themselves to their ladies with as much devotion as if +these were their gods, a thing which seems to me to savour somewhat of +heathenism." + +"Sir," answered Don Quixote, "that cannot be on any account omitted, and +the knight-errant would be disgraced who acted otherwise: for it is usual +and customary in knight-errantry that the knight-errant, who on engaging +in any great feat of arms has his lady before him, should turn his eyes +towards her softly and lovingly, as though with them entreating her to +favour and protect him in the hazardous venture he is about to undertake, +and even though no one hear him, he is bound to say certain words between +his teeth, commending himself to her with all his heart, and of this we +have innumerable instances in the histories. Nor is it to be supposed +from this that they are to omit commending themselves to God, for there +will be time and opportunity for doing so while they are engaged in their +task." + +"For all that," answered the traveller, "I feel some doubt still, because +often I have read how words will arise between two knights-errant, and +from one thing to another it comes about that their anger kindles and +they wheel their horses round and take a good stretch of field, and then +without any more ado at the top of their speed they come to the charge, +and in mid-career they are wont to commend themselves to their ladies; +and what commonly comes of the encounter is that one falls over the +haunches of his horse pierced through and through by his antagonist's +lance, and as for the other, it is only by holding on to the mane of his +horse that he can help falling to the ground; but I know not how the dead +man had time to commend himself to God in the course of such rapid work +as this; it would have been better if those words which he spent in +commending himself to his lady in the midst of his career had been +devoted to his duty and obligation as a Christian. Moreover, it is my +belief that all knights-errant have not ladies to commend themselves to, +for they are not all in love." + +"That is impossible," said Don Quixote: "I say it is impossible that +there could be a knight-errant without a lady, because to such it is as +natural and proper to be in love as to the heavens to have stars: most +certainly no history has been seen in which there is to be found a +knight-errant without an amour, and for the simple reason that without +one he would be held no legitimate knight but a bastard, and one who had +gained entrance into the stronghold of the said knighthood, not by the +door, but over the wall like a thief and a robber." + +"Nevertheless," said the traveller, "if I remember rightly, I think I +have read that Don Galaor, the brother of the valiant Amadis of Gaul, +never had any special lady to whom he might commend himself, and yet he +was not the less esteemed, and was a very stout and famous knight." + +To which our Don Quixote made answer, "Sir, one solitary swallow does not +make summer; moreover, I know that knight was in secret very deeply in +love; besides which, that way of falling in love with all that took his +fancy was a natural propensity which he could not control. But, in short, +it is very manifest that he had one alone whom he made mistress of his +will, to whom he commended himself very frequently and very secretly, for +he prided himself on being a reticent knight." + +"Then if it be essential that every knight-errant should be in love," +said the traveller, "it may be fairly supposed that your worship is so, +as you are of the order; and if you do not pride yourself on being as +reticent as Don Galaor, I entreat you as earnestly as I can, in the name +of all this company and in my own, to inform us of the name, country, +rank, and beauty of your lady, for she will esteem herself fortunate if +all the world knows that she is loved and served by such a knight as your +worship seems to be." + +At this Don Quixote heaved a deep sigh and said, "I cannot say positively +whether my sweet enemy is pleased or not that the world should know I +serve her; I can only say in answer to what has been so courteously asked +of me, that her name is Dulcinea, her country El Toboso, a village of La +Mancha, her rank must be at least that of a princess, since she is my +queen and lady, and her beauty superhuman, since all the impossible and +fanciful attributes of beauty which the poets apply to their ladies are +verified in her; for her hairs are gold, her forehead Elysian fields, her +eyebrows rainbows, her eyes suns, her cheeks roses, her lips coral, her +teeth pearls, her neck alabaster, her bosom marble, her hands ivory, her +fairness snow, and what modesty conceals from sight such, I think and +imagine, as rational reflection can only extol, not compare." + +"We should like to know her lineage, race, and ancestry," said Vivaldo. + +To which Don Quixote replied, "She is not of the ancient Roman Curtii, +Caii, or Scipios, nor of the modern Colonnas or Orsini, nor of the +Moncadas or Requesenes of Catalonia, nor yet of the Rebellas or +Villanovas of Valencia; Palafoxes, Nuzas, Rocabertis, Corellas, Lunas, +Alagones, Urreas, Foces, or Gurreas of Aragon; Cerdas, Manriques, +Mendozas, or Guzmans of Castile; Alencastros, Pallas, or Meneses of +Portugal; but she is of those of El Toboso of La Mancha, a lineage that +though modern, may furnish a source of gentle blood for the most +illustrious families of the ages that are to come, and this let none +dispute with me save on the condition that Zerbino placed at the foot of +the trophy of Orlando's arms, saying, + +'These let none move Who dareth not his might with Roland prove.'" + +"Although mine is of the Cachopins of Laredo," said the traveller, "I +will not venture to compare it with that of El Toboso of La Mancha, +though, to tell the truth, no such surname has until now ever reached my +ears." + +"What!" said Don Quixote, "has that never reached them?" + +The rest of the party went along listening with great attention to the +conversation of the pair, and even the very goatherds and shepherds +perceived how exceedingly out of his wits our Don Quixote was. Sancho +Panza alone thought that what his master said was the truth, knowing who +he was and having known him from his birth; and all that he felt any +difficulty in believing was that about the fair Dulcinea del Toboso, +because neither any such name nor any such princess had ever come to his +knowledge though he lived so close to El Toboso. They were going along +conversing in this way, when they saw descending a gap between two high +mountains some twenty shepherds, all clad in sheepskins of black wool, +and crowned with garlands which, as afterwards appeared, were, some of +them of yew, some of cypress. Six of the number were carrying a bier +covered with a great variety of flowers and branches, on seeing which one +of the goatherds said, "Those who come there are the bearers of +Chrysostom's body, and the foot of that mountain is the place where he +ordered them to bury him." They therefore made haste to reach the spot, +and did so by the time those who came had laid the bier upon the ground, +and four of them with sharp pickaxes were digging a grave by the side of +a hard rock. They greeted each other courteously, and then Don Quixote +and those who accompanied him turned to examine the bier, and on it, +covered with flowers, they saw a dead body in the dress of a shepherd, to +all appearance of one thirty years of age, and showing even in death that +in life he had been of comely features and gallant bearing. Around him on +the bier itself were laid some books, and several papers open and folded; +and those who were looking on as well as those who were opening the grave +and all the others who were there preserved a strange silence, until one +of those who had borne the body said to another, "Observe carefully, +Ambrosia if this is the place Chrysostom spoke of, since you are anxious +that what he directed in his will should be so strictly complied with." + +"This is the place," answered Ambrosia "for in it many a time did my poor +friend tell me the story of his hard fortune. Here it was, he told me, +that he saw for the first time that mortal enemy of the human race, and +here, too, for the first time he declared to her his passion, as +honourable as it was devoted, and here it was that at last Marcela ended +by scorning and rejecting him so as to bring the tragedy of his wretched +life to a close; here, in memory of misfortunes so great, he desired to +be laid in the bowels of eternal oblivion." Then turning to Don Quixote +and the travellers he went on to say, "That body, sirs, on which you are +looking with compassionate eyes, was the abode of a soul on which Heaven +bestowed a vast share of its riches. That is the body of Chrysostom, who +was unrivalled in wit, unequalled in courtesy, unapproached in gentle +bearing, a phoenix in friendship, generous without limit, grave without +arrogance, gay without vulgarity, and, in short, first in all that +constitutes goodness and second to none in all that makes up misfortune. +He loved deeply, he was hated; he adored, he was scorned; he wooed a wild +beast, he pleaded with marble, he pursued the wind, he cried to the +wilderness, he served ingratitude, and for reward was made the prey of +death in the mid-course of life, cut short by a shepherdess whom he +sought to immortalise in the memory of man, as these papers which you see +could fully prove, had he not commanded me to consign them to the fire +after having consigned his body to the earth." + +"You would deal with them more harshly and cruelly than their owner +himself," said Vivaldo, "for it is neither right nor proper to do the +will of one who enjoins what is wholly unreasonable; it would not have +been reasonable in Augustus Caesar had he permitted the directions left +by the divine Mantuan in his will to be carried into effect. So that, +Senor Ambrosia while you consign your friend's body to the earth, you +should not consign his writings to oblivion, for if he gave the order in +bitterness of heart, it is not right that you should irrationally obey +it. On the contrary, by granting life to those papers, let the cruelty of +Marcela live for ever, to serve as a warning in ages to come to all men +to shun and avoid falling into like danger; or I and all of us who have +come here know already the story of this your love-stricken and +heart-broken friend, and we know, too, your friendship, and the cause of +his death, and the directions he gave at the close of his life; from +which sad story may be gathered how great was the cruelty of Marcela, the +love of Chrysostom, and the loyalty of your friendship, together with the +end awaiting those who pursue rashly the path that insane passion opens +to their eyes. Last night we learned the death of Chrysostom and that he +was to be buried here, and out of curiosity and pity we left our direct +road and resolved to come and see with our eyes that which when heard of +had so moved our compassion, and in consideration of that compassion and +our desire to prove it if we might by condolence, we beg of you, +excellent Ambrosia, or at least I on my own account entreat you, that +instead of burning those papers you allow me to carry away some of them." + +And without waiting for the shepherd's answer, he stretched out his hand +and took up some of those that were nearest to him; seeing which Ambrosio +said, "Out of courtesy, senor, I will grant your request as to those you +have taken, but it is idle to expect me to abstain from burning the +remainder." + +Vivaldo, who was eager to see what the papers contained, opened one of +them at once, and saw that its title was "Lay of Despair." + +Ambrosio hearing it said, "That is the last paper the unhappy man wrote; +and that you may see, senor, to what an end his misfortunes brought him, +read it so that you may be heard, for you will have time enough for that +while we are waiting for the grave to be dug." + +"I will do so very willingly," said Vivaldo; and as all the bystanders +were equally eager they gathered round him, and he, reading in a loud +voice, found that it ran as follows. + +Chapter XIV. - +Wherein are inserted the despairing verses of the dead shepherd, together +with other incidents not looked for + +poem{ + +THE LAY OF CHRYSOSTOM + + Since thou dost in thy cruelty desire +The ruthless rigour of thy tyranny +From tongue to tongue, from land to land proclaimed, +The very Hell will I constrain to lend +This stricken breast of mine deep notes of woe +To serve my need of fitting utterance. +And as I strive to body forth the tale +Of all I suffer, all that thou hast done, +Forth shall the dread voice roll, and bear along +Shreds from my vitals torn for greater pain. +Then listen, not to dulcet harmony, +But to a discord wrung by mad despair +Out of this bosom's depths of bitterness, +To ease my heart and plant a sting in thine. + + The lion's roar, the fierce wolf's savage howl, +The horrid hissing of the scaly snake, +The awesome cries of monsters yet unnamed, +The crow's ill-boding croak, the hollow moan +Of wild winds wrestling with the restless sea, +The wrathful bellow of the vanquished bull, +The plaintive sobbing of the widowed dove, +The envied owl's sad note, the wail of woe +That rises from the dreary choir of Hell, +Commingled in one sound, confusing sense, +Let all these come to aid my soul's complaint, +For pain like mine demands new modes of song. + + No echoes of that discord shall be heard +Where Father Tagus rolls, or on the banks +Of olive-bordered Betis; to the rocks +Or in deep caverns shall my plaint be told, +And by a lifeless tongue in living words; +Or in dark valleys or on lonely shores, +Where neither foot of man nor sunbeam falls; +Or in among the poison-breathing swarms +Of monsters nourished by the sluggish Nile. +For, though it be to solitudes remote +The hoarse vague echoes of my sorrows sound +Thy matchless cruelty, my dismal fate +Shall carry them to all the spacious world. + + Disdain hath power to kill, and patience dies +Slain by suspicion, be it false or true; +And deadly is the force of jealousy; +Long absence makes of life a dreary void; +No hope of happiness can give repose +To him that ever fears to be forgot; +And death, inevitable, waits in hall. +But I, by some strange miracle, live on +A prey to absence, jealousy, disdain; +Racked by suspicion as by certainty; +Forgotten, left to feed my flame alone. +And while I suffer thus, there comes no ray +Of hope to gladden me athwart the gloom; +Nor do I look for it in my despair; +But rather clinging to a cureless woe, +All hope do I abjure for evermore. + + Can there be hope where fear is? Were it well, +When far more certain are the grounds of fear? +Ought I to shut mine eyes to jealousy, +If through a thousand heart-wounds it appears? +Who would not give free access to distrust, +Seeing disdain unveiled, and--bitter change!-- +All his suspicions turned to certainties, +And the fair truth transformed into a lie? +Oh, thou fierce tyrant of the realms of love, +Oh, Jealousy! put chains upon these hands, +And bind me with thy strongest cord, Disdain. +But, woe is me! triumphant over all, +My sufferings drown the memory of you. + + And now I die, and since there is no hope +Of happiness for me in life or death, +Still to my fantasy I'll fondly cling. +I'll say that he is wise who loveth well, +And that the soul most free is that most bound +In thraldom to the ancient tyrant Love. +I'll say that she who is mine enemy +In that fair body hath as fair a mind, +And that her coldness is but my desert, +And that by virtue of the pain he sends +Love rules his kingdom with a gentle sway. +Thus, self-deluding, and in bondage sore, +And wearing out the wretched shred of life +To which I am reduced by her disdain, +I'll give this soul and body to the winds, +All hopeless of a crown of bliss in store. + + Thou whose injustice hath supplied the cause +That makes me quit the weary life I loathe, +As by this wounded bosom thou canst see +How willingly thy victim I become, +Let not my death, if haply worth a tear, +Cloud the clear heaven that dwells in thy bright eyes; +I would not have thee expiate in aught +The crime of having made my heart thy prey; +But rather let thy laughter gaily ring +And prove my death to be thy festival. +Fool that I am to bid thee! well I know +Thy glory gains by my untimely end. + + And now it is the time; from Hell's abyss +Come thirsting Tantalus, come Sisyphus +Heaving the cruel stone, come Tityus +With vulture, and with wheel Ixion come, +And come the sisters of the ceaseless toil; +And all into this breast transfer their pains, +And (if such tribute to despair be due) +Chant in their deepest tones a doleful dirge +Over a corse unworthy of a shroud. +Let the three-headed guardian of the gate, +And all the monstrous progeny of hell, +The doleful concert join: a lover dead +Methinks can have no fitter obsequies. + + Lay of despair, grieve not when thou art gone +Forth from this sorrowing heart: my misery +Brings fortune to the cause that gave thee birth; +Then banish sadness even in the tomb. + +}poem + +The "Lay of Chrysostom" met with the approbation of the listeners, though +the reader said it did not seem to him to agree with what he had heard of +Marcela's reserve and propriety, for Chrysostom complained in it of +jealousy, suspicion, and absence, all to the prejudice of the good name +and fame of Marcela; to which Ambrosio replied as one who knew well his +friend's most secret thoughts, "Senor, to remove that doubt I should tell +you that when the unhappy man wrote this lay he was away from Marcela, +from whom he had voluntarily separated himself, to try if absence would +act with him as it is wont; and as everything distresses and every fear +haunts the banished lover, so imaginary jealousies and suspicions, +dreaded as if they were true, tormented Chrysostom; and thus the truth of +what report declares of the virtue of Marcela remains unshaken, and with +her envy itself should not and cannot find any fault save that of being +cruel, somewhat haughty, and very scornful." + +"That is true," said Vivaldo; and as he was about to read another paper +of those he had preserved from the fire, he was stopped by a marvellous +vision (for such it seemed) that unexpectedly presented itself to their +eyes; for on the summit of the rock where they were digging the grave +there appeared the shepherdess Marcela, so beautiful that her beauty +exceeded its reputation. Those who had never till then beheld her gazed +upon her in wonder and silence, and those who were accustomed to see her +were not less amazed than those who had never seen her before. But the +instant Ambrosio saw her he addressed her, with manifest indignation: + +"Art thou come, by chance, cruel basilisk of these mountains, to see if +in thy presence blood will flow from the wounds of this wretched being +thy cruelty has robbed of life; or is it to exult over the cruel work of +thy humours that thou art come; or like another pitiless Nero to look +down from that height upon the ruin of his Rome in embers; or in thy +arrogance to trample on this ill-fated corpse, as the ungrateful daughter +trampled on her father Tarquin's? Tell us quickly for what thou art come, +or what it is thou wouldst have, for, as I know the thoughts of +Chrysostom never failed to obey thee in life, I will make all these who +call themselves his friends obey thee, though he be dead." + +"I come not, Ambrosia for any of the purposes thou hast named," replied +Marcela, "but to defend myself and to prove how unreasonable are all +those who blame me for their sorrow and for Chrysostom's death; and +therefore I ask all of you that are here to give me your attention, for +will not take much time or many words to bring the truth home to persons +of sense. Heaven has made me, so you say, beautiful, and so much so that +in spite of yourselves my beauty leads you to love me; and for the love +you show me you say, and even urge, that I am bound to love you. By that +natural understanding which God has given me I know that everything +beautiful attracts love, but I cannot see how, by reason of being loved, +that which is loved for its beauty is bound to love that which loves it; +besides, it may happen that the lover of that which is beautiful may be +ugly, and ugliness being detestable, it is very absurd to say, "I love +thee because thou art beautiful, thou must love me though I be ugly." But +supposing the beauty equal on both sides, it does not follow that the +inclinations must be therefore alike, for it is not every beauty that +excites love, some but pleasing the eye without winning the affection; +and if every sort of beauty excited love and won the heart, the will +would wander vaguely to and fro unable to make choice of any; for as +there is an infinity of beautiful objects there must be an infinity of +inclinations, and true love, I have heard it said, is indivisible, and +must be voluntary and not compelled. If this be so, as I believe it to +be, why do you desire me to bend my will by force, for no other reason +but that you say you love me? Nay--tell me--had Heaven made me ugly, as it +has made me beautiful, could I with justice complain of you for not +loving me? Moreover, you must remember that the beauty I possess was no +choice of mine, for, be it what it may, Heaven of its bounty gave it me +without my asking or choosing it; and as the viper, though it kills with +it, does not deserve to be blamed for the poison it carries, as it is a +gift of nature, neither do I deserve reproach for being beautiful; for +beauty in a modest woman is like fire at a distance or a sharp sword; the +one does not burn, the other does not cut, those who do not come too +near. Honour and virtue are the ornaments of the mind, without which the +body, though it be so, has no right to pass for beautiful; but if modesty +is one of the virtues that specially lend a grace and charm to mind and +body, why should she who is loved for her beauty part with it to gratify +one who for his pleasure alone strives with all his might and energy to +rob her of it? I was born free, and that I might live in freedom I chose +the solitude of the fields; in the trees of the mountains I find society, +the clear waters of the brooks are my mirrors, and to the trees and +waters I make known my thoughts and charms. I am a fire afar off, a sword +laid aside. Those whom I have inspired with love by letting them see me, +I have by words undeceived, and if their longings live on hope--and I +have given none to Chrysostom or to any other--it cannot justly be said +that the death of any is my doing, for it was rather his own obstinacy +than my cruelty that killed him; and if it be made a charge against me +that his wishes were honourable, and that therefore I was bound to yield +to them, I answer that when on this very spot where now his grave is made +he declared to me his purity of purpose, I told him that mine was to live +in perpetual solitude, and that the earth alone should enjoy the fruits +of my retirement and the spoils of my beauty; and if, after this open +avowal, he chose to persist against hope and steer against the wind, what +wonder is it that he should sink in the depths of his infatuation? If I +had encouraged him, I should be false; if I had gratified him, I should +have acted against my own better resolution and purpose. He was +persistent in spite of warning, he despaired without being hated. Bethink +you now if it be reasonable that his suffering should be laid to my +charge. Let him who has been deceived complain, let him give way to +despair whose encouraged hopes have proved vain, let him flatter himself +whom I shall entice, let him boast whom I shall receive; but let not him +call me cruel or homicide to whom I make no promise, upon whom I practise +no deception, whom I neither entice nor receive. It has not been so far +the will of Heaven that I should love by fate, and to expect me to love +by choice is idle. Let this general declaration serve for each of my +suitors on his own account, and let it be understood from this time forth +that if anyone dies for me it is not of jealousy or misery he dies, for +she who loves no one can give no cause for jealousy to any, and candour +is not to be confounded with scorn. Let him who calls me wild beast and +basilisk, leave me alone as something noxious and evil; let him who calls +me ungrateful, withhold his service; who calls me wayward, seek not my +acquaintance; who calls me cruel, pursue me not; for this wild beast, +this basilisk, this ungrateful, cruel, wayward being has no kind of +desire to seek, serve, know, or follow them. If Chrysostom's impatience +and violent passion killed him, why should my modest behaviour and +circumspection be blamed? If I preserve my purity in the society of the +trees, why should he who would have me preserve it among men, seek to rob +me of it? I have, as you know, wealth of my own, and I covet not that of +others; my taste is for freedom, and I have no relish for constraint; I +neither love nor hate anyone; I do not deceive this one or court that, or +trifle with one or play with another. The modest converse of the shepherd +girls of these hamlets and the care of my goats are my recreations; my +desires are bounded by these mountains, and if they ever wander hence it +is to contemplate the beauty of the heavens, steps by which the soul +travels to its primeval abode." + +With these words, and not waiting to hear a reply, she turned and passed +into the thickest part of a wood that was hard by, leaving all who were +there lost in admiration as much of her good sense as of her beauty. +Some--those wounded by the irresistible shafts launched by her bright +eyes--made as though they would follow her, heedless of the frank +declaration they had heard; seeing which, and deeming this a fitting +occasion for the exercise of his chivalry in aid of distressed damsels, +Don Quixote, laying his hand on the hilt of his sword, exclaimed in a +loud and distinct voice: + +"Let no one, whatever his rank or condition, dare to follow the beautiful +Marcela, under pain of incurring my fierce indignation. She has shown by +clear and satisfactory arguments that little or no fault is to be found +with her for the death of Chrysostom, and also how far she is from +yielding to the wishes of any of her lovers, for which reason, instead of +being followed and persecuted, she should in justice be honoured and +esteemed by all the good people of the world, for she shows that she is +the only woman in it that holds to such a virtuous resolution." + +Whether it was because of the threats of Don Quixote, or because Ambrosio +told them to fulfil their duty to their good friend, none of the +shepherds moved or stirred from the spot until, having finished the grave +and burned Chrysostom's papers, they laid his body in it, not without +many tears from those who stood by. They closed the grave with a heavy +stone until a slab was ready which Ambrosio said he meant to have +prepared, with an epitaph which was to be to this effect: + +poem{ + +Beneath the stone before your eyes +The body of a lover lies; +In life he was a shepherd swain, +In death a victim to disdain. +Ungrateful, cruel, coy, and fair, +Was she that drove him to despair, +And Love hath made her his ally +For spreading wide his tyranny. + +}poem + +They then strewed upon the grave a profusion of flowers and branches, and +all expressing their condolence with his friend ambrosio, took their +Vivaldo and his companion did the same; and Don Quixote bade farewell to +his hosts and to the travellers, who pressed him to come with them to +Seville, as being such a convenient place for finding adventures, for +they presented themselves in every street and round every corner oftener +than anywhere else. Don Quixote thanked them for their advice and for the +disposition they showed to do him a favour, and said that for the present +he would not, and must not go to Seville until he had cleared all these +mountains of highwaymen and robbers, of whom report said they were full. +Seeing his good intention, the travellers were unwilling to press him +further, and once more bidding him farewell, they left him and pursued +their journey, in the course of which they did not fail to discuss the +story of Marcela and Chrysostom as well as the madness of Don Quixote. +He, on his part, resolved to go in quest of the shepherdess Marcela, and +make offer to her of all the service he could render her; but things did +not fall out with him as he expected, according to what is related in the +course of this veracious history, of which the Second Part ends here. + +Chapter XV. - +In which is related the unfortunate adventure that Don Quixote fell in +with when he fell out with certain heartless Yanguesans + +The sage Cide Hamete Benengeli relates that as soon as Don Quixote took +leave of his hosts and all who had been present at the burial of +Chrysostom, he and his squire passed into the same wood which they had +seen the shepherdess Marcela enter, and after having wandered for more +than two hours in all directions in search of her without finding her, +they came to a halt in a glade covered with tender grass, beside which +ran a pleasant cool stream that invited and compelled them to pass there +the hours of the noontide heat, which by this time was beginning to come +on oppressively. Don Quixote and Sancho dismounted, and turning Rocinante +and the ass loose to feed on the grass that was there in abundance, they +ransacked the alforjas, and without any ceremony very peacefully and +sociably master and man made their repast on what they found in them. + +Sancho had not thought it worth while to hobble Rocinante, feeling sure, +from what he knew of his staidness and freedom from incontinence, that +all the mares in the Cordova pastures would not lead him into an +impropriety. Chance, however, and the devil, who is not always asleep, so +ordained it that feeding in this valley there was a drove of Galician +ponies belonging to certain Yanguesan carriers, whose way it is to take +their midday rest with their teams in places and spots where grass and +water abound; and that where Don Quixote chanced to be suited the +Yanguesans' purpose very well. It so happened, then, that Rocinante took +a fancy to disport himself with their ladyships the ponies, and +abandoning his usual gait and demeanour as he scented them, he, without +asking leave of his master, got up a briskish little trot and hastened to +make known his wishes to them; they, however, it seemed, preferred their +pasture to him, and received him with their heels and teeth to such +effect that they soon broke his girths and left him naked without a +saddle to cover him; but what must have been worse to him was that the +carriers, seeing the violence he was offering to their mares, came +running up armed with stakes, and so belaboured him that they brought him +sorely battered to the ground. + +By this time Don Quixote and Sancho, who had witnessed the drubbing of +Rocinante, came up panting, and said Don Quixote to Sancho: + +"So far as I can see, friend Sancho, these are not knights but base folk +of low birth: I mention it because thou canst lawfully aid me in taking +due vengeance for the insult offered to Rocinante before our eyes." + +"What the devil vengeance can we take," answered Sancho, "if they are +more than twenty, and we no more than two, or, indeed, perhaps not more +than one and a half?" + +"I count for a hundred," replied Don Quixote, and without more words he +drew his sword and attacked the Yanguesans and excited and impelled by +the example of his master, Sancho did the same; and to begin with, Don +Quixote delivered a slash at one of them that laid open the leather +jerkin he wore, together with a great portion of his shoulder. The +Yanguesans, seeing themselves assaulted by only two men while they were +so many, betook themselves to their stakes, and driving the two into the +middle they began to lay on with great zeal and energy; in fact, at the +second blow they brought Sancho to the ground, and Don Quixote fared the +same way, all his skill and high mettle availing him nothing, and fate +willed it that he should fall at the feet of Rocinante, who had not yet +risen; whereby it may be seen how furiously stakes can pound in angry +boorish hands. + +Then, seeing the mischief they had done, the Yanguesans with all the +haste they could loaded their team and pursued their journey, leaving the +two adventurers a sorry sight and in sorrier mood. + +Sancho was the first to come to, and finding himself close to his master +he called to him in a weak and doleful voice, "Senor Don Quixote, ah, +Senor Don Quixote!" + +"What wouldst thou, brother Sancho?" answered Don Quixote in the same +feeble suffering tone as Sancho. + +"I would like, if it were possible," answered Sancho Panza, "your worship +to give me a couple of sups of that potion of the fiery Blas, if it be +that you have any to hand there; perhaps it will serve for broken bones +as well as for wounds." + +"If I only had it here, wretch that I am, what more should we want?" said +Don Quixote; "but I swear to thee, Sancho Panza, on the faith of a +knight-errant, ere two days are over, unless fortune orders otherwise, I +mean to have it in my possession, or my hand will have lost its cunning." + +"But in how many does your worship think we shall have the use of our +feet?" answered Sancho Panza. + +"For myself I must say I cannot guess how many," said the battered knight +Don Quixote; "but I take all the blame upon myself, for I had no business +to put hand to sword against men who where not dubbed knights like +myself, and so I believe that in punishment for having transgressed the +laws of chivalry the God of battles has permitted this chastisement to be +administered to me; for which reason, brother Sancho, it is well thou +shouldst receive a hint on the matter which I am now about to mention to +thee, for it is of much importance to the welfare of both of us. It is at +when thou shalt see rabble of this sort offering us insult thou art not +to wait till I draw sword against them, for I shall not do so at all; but +do thou draw sword and chastise them to thy heart's content, and if any +knights come to their aid and defence I will take care to defend thee and +assail them with all my might; and thou hast already seen by a thousand +signs and proofs what the might of this strong arm of mine is equal +to"--so uplifted had the poor gentleman become through the victory over +the stout Biscayan. + +But Sancho did not so fully approve of his master's admonition as to let +it pass without saying in reply, "Senor, I am a man of peace, meek and +quiet, and I can put up with any affront because I have a wife and +children to support and bring up; so let it be likewise a hint to your +worship, as it cannot be a mandate, that on no account will I draw sword +either against clown or against knight, and that here before God I +forgive the insults that have been offered me, whether they have been, +are, or shall be offered me by high or low, rich or poor, noble or +commoner, not excepting any rank or condition whatsoever." + +To all which his master said in reply, "I wish I had breath enough to +speak somewhat easily, and that the pain I feel on this side would abate +so as to let me explain to thee, Panza, the mistake thou makest. Come +now, sinner, suppose the wind of fortune, hitherto so adverse, should +turn in our favour, filling the sails of our desires so that safely and +without impediment we put into port in some one of those islands I have +promised thee, how would it be with thee if on winning it I made thee +lord of it? Why, thou wilt make it well-nigh impossible through not being +a knight nor having any desire to be one, nor possessing the courage nor +the will to avenge insults or defend thy lordship; for thou must know +that in newly conquered kingdoms and provinces the minds of the +inhabitants are never so quiet nor so well disposed to the new lord that +there is no fear of their making some move to change matters once more, +and try, as they say, what chance may do for them; so it is essential +that the new possessor should have good sense to enable him to govern, +and valour to attack and defend himself, whatever may befall him." + +"In what has now befallen us," answered Sancho, "I'd have been well +pleased to have that good sense and that valour your worship speaks of, +but I swear on the faith of a poor man I am more fit for plasters than +for arguments. See if your worship can get up, and let us help Rocinante, +though he does not deserve it, for he was the main cause of all this +thrashing. I never thought it of Rocinante, for I took him to be a +virtuous person and as quiet as myself. After all, they say right that it +takes a long time to come to know people, and that there is nothing sure +in this life. Who would have said that, after such mighty slashes as your +worship gave that unlucky knight-errant, there was coming, travelling +post and at the very heels of them, such a great storm of sticks as has +fallen upon our shoulders?" + +"And yet thine, Sancho," replied Don Quixote, "ought to be used to such +squalls; but mine, reared in soft cloth and fine linen, it is plain they +must feel more keenly the pain of this mishap, and if it were not that I +imagine--why do I say imagine?--know of a certainty that all these +annoyances are very necessary accompaniments of the calling of arms, I +would lay me down here to die of pure vexation." + +To this the squire replied, "Senor, as these mishaps are what one reaps +of chivalry, tell me if they happen very often, or if they have their own +fixed times for coming to pass; because it seems to me that after two +harvests we shall be no good for the third, unless God in his infinite +mercy helps us." + +"Know, friend Sancho," answered Don Quixote, "that the life of +knights-errant is subject to a thousand dangers and reverses, and neither +more nor less is it within immediate possibility for knights-errant to +become kings and emperors, as experience has shown in the case of many +different knights with whose histories I am thoroughly acquainted; and I +could tell thee now, if the pain would let me, of some who simply by +might of arm have risen to the high stations I have mentioned; and those +same, both before and after, experienced divers misfortunes and miseries; +for the valiant Amadis of Gaul found himself in the power of his mortal +enemy Arcalaus the magician, who, it is positively asserted, holding him +captive, gave him more than two hundred lashes with the reins of his +horse while tied to one of the pillars of a court; and moreover there is +a certain recondite author of no small authority who says that the Knight +of Phoebus, being caught in a certain pitfall, which opened under his +feet in a certain castle, on falling found himself bound hand and foot in +a deep pit underground, where they administered to him one of those +things they call clysters, of sand and snow-water, that well-nigh +finished him; and if he had not been succoured in that sore extremity by +a sage, a great friend of his, it would have gone very hard with the poor +knight; so I may well suffer in company with such worthy folk, for +greater were the indignities which they had to suffer than those which we +suffer. For I would have thee know, Sancho, that wounds caused by any +instruments which happen by chance to be in hand inflict no indignity, +and this is laid down in the law of the duel in express words: if, for +instance, the cobbler strikes another with the last which he has in his +hand, though it be in fact a piece of wood, it cannot be said for that +reason that he whom he struck with it has been cudgelled. I say this lest +thou shouldst imagine that because we have been drubbed in this affray we +have therefore suffered any indignity; for the arms those men carried, +with which they pounded us, were nothing more than their stakes, and not +one of them, so far as I remember, carried rapier, sword, or dagger." + +"They gave me no time to see that much," answered Sancho, "for hardly had +I laid hand on my tizona when they signed the cross on my shoulders with +their sticks in such style that they took the sight out of my eyes and +the strength out of my feet, stretching me where I now lie, and where +thinking of whether all those stake-strokes were an indignity or not +gives me no uneasiness, which the pain of the blows does, for they will +remain as deeply impressed on my memory as on my shoulders." + +"For all that let me tell thee, brother Panza," said Don Quixote, "that +there is no recollection which time does not put an end to, and no pain +which death does not remove." + +"And what greater misfortune can there be," replied Panza, "than the one +that waits for time to put an end to it and death to remove it? If our +mishap were one of those that are cured with a couple of plasters, it +would not be so bad; but I am beginning to think that all the plasters in +a hospital almost won't be enough to put us right." + +"No more of that: pluck strength out of weakness, Sancho, as I mean to +do," returned Don Quixote, "and let us see how Rocinante is, for it seems +to me that not the least share of this mishap has fallen to the lot of +the poor beast." + +"There is nothing wonderful in that," replied Sancho, "since he is a +knight-errant too; what I wonder at is that my beast should have come off +scot-free where we come out scotched." + +"Fortune always leaves a door open in adversity in order to bring relief +to it," said Don Quixote; "I say so because this little beast may now +supply the want of Rocinante, carrying me hence to some castle where I +may be cured of my wounds. And moreover I shall not hold it any dishonour +to be so mounted, for I remember having read how the good old Silenus, +the tutor and instructor of the gay god of laughter, when he entered the +city of the hundred gates, went very contentedly mounted on a handsome +ass." + +"It may be true that he went mounted as your worship says," answered +Sancho, "but there is a great difference between going mounted and going +slung like a sack of manure." + +To which Don Quixote replied, "Wounds received in battle confer honour +instead of taking it away; and so, friend Panza, say no more, but, as I +told thee before, get up as well as thou canst and put me on top of thy +beast in whatever fashion pleases thee best, and let us go hence ere +night come on and surprise us in these wilds." + +"And yet I have heard your worship say," observed Panza, "that it is very +meet for knights-errant to sleep in wastes and deserts, and that they +esteem it very good fortune." + +"That is," said Don Quixote, "when they cannot help it, or when they are +in love; and so true is this that there have been knights who have +remained two years on rocks, in sunshine and shade and all the +inclemencies of heaven, without their ladies knowing anything of it; and +one of these was Amadis, when, under the name of Beltenebros, he took up +his abode on the Pena Pobre for--I know not if it was eight years or +eight months, for I am not very sure of the reckoning; at any rate he +stayed there doing penance for I know not what pique the Princess Oriana +had against him; but no more of this now, Sancho, and make haste before a +mishap like Rocinante's befalls the ass." + +"The very devil would be in it in that case," said Sancho; and letting +off thirty "ohs," and sixty sighs, and a hundred and twenty maledictions +and execrations on whomsoever it was that had brought him there, he +raised himself, stopping half-way bent like a Turkish bow without power +to bring himself upright, but with all his pains he saddled his ass, who +too had gone astray somewhat, yielding to the excessive licence of the +day; he next raised up Rocinante, and as for him, had he possessed a +tongue to complain with, most assuredly neither Sancho nor his master +would have been behind him. + +To be brief, Sancho fixed Don Quixote on the ass and secured Rocinante +with a leading rein, and taking the ass by the halter, he proceeded more +or less in the direction in which it seemed to him the high road might +be; and, as chance was conducting their affairs for them from good to +better, he had not gone a short league when the road came in sight, and +on it he perceived an inn, which to his annoyance and to the delight of +Don Quixote must needs be a castle. Sancho insisted that it was an inn, +and his master that it was not one, but a castle, and the dispute lasted +so long that before the point was settled they had time to reach it, and +into it Sancho entered with all his team without any further controversy. + +Chapter XVI. - +Of what happened to the ingenious gentleman in the inn which he took to +be a castle + +The innkeeper, seeing Don Quixote slung across the ass, asked Sancho what +was amiss with him. Sancho answered that it was nothing, only that he had +fallen down from a rock and had his ribs a little bruised. The innkeeper +had a wife whose disposition was not such as those of her calling +commonly have, for she was by nature kind-hearted and felt for the +sufferings of her neighbours, so she at once set about tending Don +Quixote, and made her young daughter, a very comely girl, help her in +taking care of her guest. There was besides in the inn, as servant, an +Asturian lass with a broad face, flat poll, and snub nose, blind of one +eye and not very sound in the other. The elegance of her shape, to be +sure, made up for all her defects; she did not measure seven palms from +head to foot, and her shoulders, which overweighted her somewhat, made +her contemplate the ground more than she liked. This graceful lass, then, +helped the young girl, and the two made up a very bad bed for Don Quixote +in a garret that showed evident signs of having formerly served for many +years as a straw-loft, in which there was also quartered a carrier whose +bed was placed a little beyond our Don Quixote's, and, though only made +of the pack-saddles and cloths of his mules, had much the advantage of +it, as Don Quixote's consisted simply of four rough boards on two not +very even trestles, a mattress, that for thinness might have passed for a +quilt, full of pellets which, were they not seen through the rents to be +wool, would to the touch have seemed pebbles in hardness, two sheets made +of buckler leather, and a coverlet the threads of which anyone that chose +might have counted without missing one in the reckoning. + +On this accursed bed Don Quixote stretched himself, and the hostess and +her daughter soon covered him with plasters from top to toe, while +Maritornes--for that was the name of the Asturian--held the light for +them, and while plastering him, the hostess, observing how full of wheals +Don Quixote was in some places, remarked that this had more the look of +blows than of a fall. + +It was not blows, Sancho said, but that the rock had many points and +projections, and that each of them had left its mark. "Pray, senora," he +added, "manage to save some tow, as there will be no want of some one to +use it, for my loins too are rather sore." + +"Then you must have fallen too," said the hostess. + +"I did not fall," said Sancho Panza, "but from the shock I got at seeing +my master fall, my body aches so that I feel as if I had had a thousand +thwacks." + +"That may well be," said the young girl, "for it has many a time happened +to me to dream that I was falling down from a tower and never coming to +the ground, and when I awoke from the dream to find myself as weak and +shaken as if I had really fallen." + +"There is the point, senora," replied Sancho Panza, "that I without +dreaming at all, but being more awake than I am now, find myself with +scarcely less wheals than my master, Don Quixote." + +"How is the gentleman called?" asked Maritornes the Asturian. + +"Don Quixote of La Mancha," answered Sancho Panza, "and he is a +knight-adventurer, and one of the best and stoutest that have been seen +in the world this long time past." + +"What is a knight-adventurer?" said the lass. + +"Are you so new in the world as not to know?" answered Sancho Panza. +"Well, then, you must know, sister, that a knight-adventurer is a thing +that in two words is seen drubbed and emperor, that is to-day the most +miserable and needy being in the world, and to-morrow will have two or +three crowns of kingdoms to give his squire." + +"Then how is it," said the hostess, "that belonging to so good a master +as this, you have not, to judge by appearances, even so much as a +county?" + +"It is too soon yet," answered Sancho, "for we have only been a month +going in quest of adventures, and so far we have met with nothing that +can be called one, for it will happen that when one thing is looked for +another thing is found; however, if my master Don Quixote gets well of +this wound, or fall, and I am left none the worse of it, I would not +change my hopes for the best title in Spain." + +To all this conversation Don Quixote was listening very attentively, and +sitting up in bed as well as he could, and taking the hostess by the hand +he said to her, "Believe me, fair lady, you may call yourself fortunate +in having in this castle of yours sheltered my person, which is such that +if I do not myself praise it, it is because of what is commonly said, +that self-praise debaseth; but my squire will inform you who I am. I only +tell you that I shall preserve for ever inscribed on my memory the +service you have rendered me in order to tender you my gratitude while +life shall last me; and would to Heaven love held me not so enthralled +and subject to its laws and to the eyes of that fair ingrate whom I name +between my teeth, but that those of this lovely damsel might be the +masters of my liberty." + +The hostess, her daughter, and the worthy Maritornes listened in +bewilderment to the words of the knight-errant; for they understood about +as much of them as if he had been talking Greek, though they could +perceive they were all meant for expressions of good-will and +blandishments; and not being accustomed to this kind of language, they +stared at him and wondered to themselves, for he seemed to them a man of +a different sort from those they were used to, and thanking him in +pothouse phrase for his civility they left him, while the Asturian gave +her attention to Sancho, who needed it no less than his master. + +The carrier had made an arrangement with her for recreation that night, +and she had given him her word that when the guests were quiet and the +family asleep she would come in search of him and meet his wishes +unreservedly. And it is said of this good lass that she never made +promises of the kind without fulfilling them, even though she made them +in a forest and without any witness present, for she plumed herself +greatly on being a lady and held it no disgrace to be in such an +employment as servant in an inn, because, she said, misfortunes and +ill-luck had brought her to that position. The hard, narrow, wretched, +rickety bed of Don Quixote stood first in the middle of this star-lit +stable, and close beside it Sancho made his, which merely consisted of a +rush mat and a blanket that looked as if it was of threadbare canvas +rather than of wool. Next to these two beds was that of the carrier, made +up, as has been said, of the pack-saddles and all the trappings of the +two best mules he had, though there were twelve of them, sleek, plump, +and in prime condition, for he was one of the rich carriers of Arevalo, +according to the author of this history, who particularly mentions this +carrier because he knew him very well, and they even say was in some +degree a relation of his; besides which Cide Hamete Benengeli was a +historian of great research and accuracy in all things, as is very +evident since he would not pass over in silence those that have been +already mentioned, however trifling and insignificant they might be, an +example that might be followed by those grave historians who relate +transactions so curtly and briefly that we hardly get a taste of them, +all the substance of the work being left in the inkstand from +carelessness, perverseness, or ignorance. A thousand blessings on the +author of "Tablante de Ricamonte" and that of the other book in which the +deeds of the Conde Tomillas are recounted; with what minuteness they +describe everything! + +To proceed, then: after having paid a visit to his team and given them +their second feed, the carrier stretched himself on his pack-saddles and +lay waiting for his conscientious Maritornes. Sancho was by this time +plastered and had lain down, and though he strove to sleep the pain of +his ribs would not let him, while Don Quixote with the pain of his had +his eyes as wide open as a hare's. + +The inn was all in silence, and in the whole of it there was no light +except that given by a lantern that hung burning in the middle of the +gateway. This strange stillness, and the thoughts, always present to our +knight's mind, of the incidents described at every turn in the books that +were the cause of his misfortune, conjured up to his imagination as +extraordinary a delusion as can well be conceived, which was that he +fancied himself to have reached a famous castle (for, as has been said, +all the inns he lodged in were castles to his eyes), and that the +daughter of the innkeeper was daughter of the lord of the castle, and +that she, won by his high-bred bearing, had fallen in love with him, and +had promised to come to his bed for a while that night without the +knowledge of her parents; and holding all this fantasy that he had +constructed as solid fact, he began to feel uneasy and to consider the +perilous risk which his virtue was about to encounter, and he resolved in +his heart to commit no treason to his lady Dulcinea del Toboso, even +though the queen Guinevere herself and the dame Quintanona should present +themselves before him. + +While he was taken up with these vagaries, then, the time and the +hour--an unlucky one for him--arrived for the Asturian to come, who in +her smock, with bare feet and her hair gathered into a fustian coif, with +noiseless and cautious steps entered the chamber where the three were +quartered, in quest of the carrier; but scarcely had she gained the door +when Don Quixote perceived her, and sitting up in his bed in spite of his +plasters and the pain of his ribs, he stretched out his arms to receive +his beauteous damsel. The Asturian, who went all doubled up and in +silence with her hands before her feeling for her lover, encountered the +arms of Don Quixote, who grasped her tightly by the wrist, and drawing +her towards him, while she dared not utter a word, made her sit down on +the bed. He then felt her smock, and although it was of sackcloth it +appeared to him to be of the finest and softest silk: on her wrists she +wore some glass beads, but to him they had the sheen of precious Orient +pearls: her hair, which in some measure resembled a horse's mane, he +rated as threads of the brightest gold of Araby, whose refulgence dimmed +the sun himself: her breath, which no doubt smelt of yesterday's stale +salad, seemed to him to diffuse a sweet aromatic fragrance from her +mouth; and, in short, he drew her portrait in his imagination with the +same features and in the same style as that which he had seen in his +books of the other princesses who, smitten by love, came with all the +adornments that are here set down, to see the sorely wounded knight; and +so great was the poor gentleman's blindness that neither touch, nor +smell, nor anything else about the good lass that would have made any but +a carrier vomit, were enough to undeceive him; on the contrary, he was +persuaded he had the goddess of beauty in his arms, and holding her +firmly in his grasp he went on to say in low, tender voice: + +"Would that found myself, lovely and exalted lady, in a position to repay +such a favour as that which you, by the sight of your great beauty, have +granted me; but fortune, which is never weary of persecuting the good, +has chosen to place me upon this bed, where I lie so bruised and broken +that though my inclination would gladly comply with yours it is +impossible; besides, to this impossibility another yet greater is to be +added, which is the faith that I have pledged to the peerless Dulcinea +del Toboso, sole lady of my most secret thoughts; and were it not that +this stood in the way I should not be so insensible a knight as to miss +the happy opportunity which your great goodness has offered me." + +Maritornes was fretting and sweating at finding herself held so fast by +Don Quixote, and not understanding or heeding the words he addressed to +her, she strove without speaking to free herself. The worthy carrier, +whose unholy thoughts kept him awake, was aware of his doxy the moment +she entered the door, and was listening attentively to all Don Quixote +said; and jealous that the Asturian should have broken her word with him +for another, drew nearer to Don Quixote's bed and stood still to see what +would come of this talk which he could not understand; but when he +perceived the wench struggling to get free and Don Quixote striving to +hold her, not relishing the joke he raised his arm and delivered such a +terrible cuff on the lank jaws of the amorous knight that he bathed all +his mouth in blood, and not content with this he mounted on his ribs and +with his feet tramped all over them at a pace rather smarter than a trot. +The bed which was somewhat crazy and not very firm on its feet, unable to +support the additional weight of the carrier, came to the ground, and at +the mighty crash of this the innkeeper awoke and at once concluded that +it must be some brawl of Maritornes', because after calling loudly to her +he got no answer. With this suspicion he got up, and lighting a lamp +hastened to the quarter where he had heard the disturbance. The wench, +seeing that her master was coming and knowing that his temper was +terrible, frightened and panic-stricken made for the bed of Sancho Panza, +who still slept, and crouching upon it made a ball of herself. + +The innkeeper came in exclaiming, "Where art thou, strumpet? Of course +this is some of thy work." At this Sancho awoke, and feeling this mass +almost on top of him fancied he had the nightmare and began to distribute +fisticuffs all round, of which a certain share fell upon Maritornes, who, +irritated by the pain and flinging modesty aside, paid back so many in +return to Sancho that she woke him up in spite of himself. He then, +finding himself so handled, by whom he knew not, raising himself up as +well as he could, grappled with Maritornes, and he and she between them +began the bitterest and drollest scrimmage in the world. The carrier, +however, perceiving by the light of the innkeeper candle how it fared +with his ladylove, quitting Don Quixote, ran to bring her the help she +needed; and the innkeeper did the same but with a different intention, +for his was to chastise the lass, as he believed that beyond a doubt she +alone was the cause of all the harmony. And so, as the saying is, cat to +rat, rat to rope, rope to stick, the carrier pounded Sancho, Sancho the +lass, she him, and the innkeeper her, and all worked away so briskly that +they did not give themselves a moment's rest; and the best of it was that +the innkeeper's lamp went out, and as they were left in the dark they all +laid on one upon the other in a mass so unmercifully that there was not a +sound spot left where a hand could light. + +It so happened that there was lodging that night in the inn a caudrillero +of what they call the Old Holy Brotherhood of Toledo, who, also hearing +the extraordinary noise of the conflict, seized his staff and the tin +case with his warrants, and made his way in the dark into the room +crying: "Hold! in the name of the Jurisdiction! Hold! in the name of the +Holy Brotherhood!" + +The first that he came upon was the pummelled Don Quixote, who lay +stretched senseless on his back upon his broken-down bed, and, his hand +falling on the beard as he felt about, he continued to cry, "Help for the +Jurisdiction!" but perceiving that he whom he had laid hold of did not +move or stir, he concluded that he was dead and that those in the room +were his murderers, and with this suspicion he raised his voice still +higher, calling out, "Shut the inn gate; see that no one goes out; they +have killed a man here!" This cry startled them all, and each dropped the +contest at the point at which the voice reached him. The innkeeper +retreated to his room, the carrier to his pack-saddles, the lass to her +crib; the unlucky Don Quixote and Sancho alone were unable to move from +where they were. The cuadrillero on this let go Don Quixote's beard, and +went out to look for a light to search for and apprehend the culprits; +but not finding one, as the innkeeper had purposely extinguished the +lantern on retreating to his room, he was compelled to have recourse to +the hearth, where after much time and trouble he lit another lamp. + +Chapter XVII. - +In which are contained the innumerable troubles which the brave Don +Quixote and his good Squire Sancho Panza endured in the inn, which to his +misfortune he took to be a castle + +By this time Don Quixote had recovered from his swoon; and in the same +tone of voice in which he had called to his squire the day before when he +lay stretched "in the vale of the stakes," he began calling to him now, +"Sancho, my friend, art thou asleep? sleepest thou, friend Sancho?" + +"How can I sleep, curses on it!" returned Sancho discontentedly and +bitterly, "when it is plain that all the devils have been at me this +night?" + +"Thou mayest well believe that," answered Don Quixote, "because, either I +know little, or this castle is enchanted, for thou must know-but this +that I am now about to tell thee thou must swear to keep secret until +after my death." + +"I swear it," answered Sancho. + +"I say so," continued Don Quixote, "because I hate taking away anyone's +good name." + +"I say," replied Sancho, "that I swear to hold my tongue about it till +the end of your worship's days, and God grant I may be able to let it out +tomorrow." + +"Do I do thee such injuries, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "that thou +wouldst see me dead so soon?" + +"It is not for that," replied Sancho, "but because I hate keeping things +long, and I don't want them to grow rotten with me from over-keeping." + +"At any rate," said Don Quixote, "I have more confidence in thy affection +and good nature; and so I would have thee know that this night there +befell me one of the strangest adventures that I could describe, and to +relate it to thee briefly thou must know that a little while ago the +daughter of the lord of this castle came to me, and that she is the most +elegant and beautiful damsel that could be found in the wide world. What +I could tell thee of the charms of her person! of her lively wit! of +other secret matters which, to preserve the fealty I owe to my lady +Dulcinea del Toboso, I shall pass over unnoticed and in silence! I will +only tell thee that, either fate being envious of so great a boon placed +in my hands by good fortune, or perhaps (and this is more probable) this +castle being, as I have already said, enchanted, at the time when I was +engaged in the sweetest and most amorous discourse with her, there came, +without my seeing or knowing whence it came, a hand attached to some arm +of some huge giant, that planted such a cuff on my jaws that I have them +all bathed in blood, and then pummelled me in such a way that I am in a +worse plight than yesterday when the carriers, on account of Rocinante's +misbehaviour, inflicted on us the injury thou knowest of; whence +conjecture that there must be some enchanted Moor guarding the treasure +of this damsel's beauty, and that it is not for me." + +"Not for me either," said Sancho, "for more than four hundred Moors have +so thrashed me that the drubbing of the stakes was cakes and fancy-bread +to it. But tell me, senor, what do you call this excellent and rare +adventure that has left us as we are left now? Though your worship was +not so badly off, having in your arms that incomparable beauty you spoke +of; but I, what did I have, except the heaviest whacks I think I had in +all my life? Unlucky me and the mother that bore me! for I am not a +knight-errant and never expect to be one, and of all the mishaps, the +greater part falls to my share." + +"Then thou hast been thrashed too?" said Don Quixote. + +"Didn't I say so? worse luck to my line!" said Sancho. + +"Be not distressed, friend," said Don Quixote, "for I will now make the +precious balsam with which we shall cure ourselves in the twinkling of an +eye." + +By this time the cuadrillero had succeeded in lighting the lamp, and came +in to see the man that he thought had been killed; and as Sancho caught +sight of him at the door, seeing him coming in his shirt, with a cloth on +his head, and a lamp in his hand, and a very forbidding countenance, he +said to his master, "Senor, can it be that this is the enchanted Moor +coming back to give us more castigation if there be anything still left +in the ink-bottle?" + +"It cannot be the Moor," answered Don Quixote, "for those under +enchantment do not let themselves be seen by anyone." + +"If they don't let themselves be seen, they let themselves be felt," said +Sancho; "if not, let my shoulders speak to the point." + +"Mine could speak too," said Don Quixote, "but that is not a sufficient +reason for believing that what we see is the enchanted Moor." + +The officer came up, and finding them engaged in such a peaceful +conversation, stood amazed; though Don Quixote, to be sure, still lay on +his back unable to move from pure pummelling and plasters. The officer +turned to him and said, "Well, how goes it, good man?" + +"I would speak more politely if I were you," replied Don Quixote; "is it +the way of this country to address knights-errant in that style, you +booby?" + +The cuadrillero finding himself so disrespectfully treated by such a +sorry-looking individual, lost his temper, and raising the lamp full of +oil, smote Don Quixote such a blow with it on the head that he gave him a +badly broken pate; then, all being in darkness, he went out, and Sancho +Panza said, "That is certainly the enchanted Moor, Senor, and he keeps +the treasure for others, and for us only the cuffs and lamp-whacks." + +"That is the truth," answered Don Quixote, "and there is no use in +troubling oneself about these matters of enchantment or being angry or +vexed at them, for as they are invisible and visionary we shall find no +one on whom to avenge ourselves, do what we may; rise, Sancho, if thou +canst, and call the alcaide of this fortress, and get him to give me a +little oil, wine, salt, and rosemary to make the salutiferous balsam, for +indeed I believe I have great need of it now, because I am losing much +blood from the wound that phantom gave me." + +Sancho got up with pain enough in his bones, and went after the innkeeper +in the dark, and meeting the officer, who was looking to see what had +become of his enemy, he said to him, "Senor, whoever you are, do us the +favour and kindness to give us a little rosemary, oil, salt, and wine, +for it is wanted to cure one of the best knights-errant on earth, who +lies on yonder bed wounded by the hands of the enchanted Moor that is in +this inn." + +When the officer heard him talk in this way, he took him for a man out of +his senses, and as day was now beginning to break, he opened the inn +gate, and calling the host, he told him what this good man wanted. The +host furnished him with what he required, and Sancho brought it to Don +Quixote, who, with his hand to his head, was bewailing the pain of the +blow of the lamp, which had done him no more harm than raising a couple +of rather large lumps, and what he fancied blood was only the sweat that +flowed from him in his sufferings during the late storm. To be brief, he +took the materials, of which he made a compound, mixing them all and +boiling them a good while until it seemed to him they had come to +perfection. He then asked for some vial to pour it into, and as there was +not one in the inn, he decided on putting it into a tin oil-bottle or +flask of which the host made him a free gift; and over the flask he +repeated more than eighty paternosters and as many more ave-marias, +salves, and credos, accompanying each word with a cross by way of +benediction, at all which there were present Sancho, the innkeeper, and +the cuadrillero; for the carrier was now peacefully engaged in attending +to the comfort of his mules. + +This being accomplished, he felt anxious to make trial himself, on the +spot, of the virtue of this precious balsam, as he considered it, and so +he drank near a quart of what could not be put into the flask and +remained in the pigskin in which it had been boiled; but scarcely had he +done drinking when he began to vomit in such a way that nothing was left +in his stomach, and with the pangs and spasms of vomiting he broke into a +profuse sweat, on account of which he bade them cover him up and leave +him alone. They did so, and he lay sleeping more than three hours, at the +end of which he awoke and felt very great bodily relief and so much ease +from his bruises that he thought himself quite cured, and verily believed +he had hit upon the balsam of Fierabras; and that with this remedy he +might thenceforward, without any fear, face any kind of destruction, +battle, or combat, however perilous it might be. + +Sancho Panza, who also regarded the amendment of his master as +miraculous, begged him to give him what was left in the pigskin, which +was no small quantity. Don Quixote consented, and he, taking it with both +hands, in good faith and with a better will, gulped down and drained off +very little less than his master. But the fact is, that the stomach of +poor Sancho was of necessity not so delicate as that of his master, and +so, before vomiting, he was seized with such gripings and retchings, and +such sweats and faintness, that verily and truly be believed his last +hour had come, and finding himself so racked and tormented he cursed the +balsam and the thief that had given it to him. + +Don Quixote seeing him in this state said, "It is my belief, Sancho, that +this mischief comes of thy not being dubbed a knight, for I am persuaded +this liquor cannot be good for those who are not so." + +"If your worship knew that," returned Sancho--"woe betide me and all my +kindred!--why did you let me taste it?" + +At this moment the draught took effect, and the poor squire began to +discharge both ways at such a rate that the rush mat on which he had +thrown himself and the canvas blanket he had covering him were fit for +nothing afterwards. He sweated and perspired with such paroxysms and +convulsions that not only he himself but all present thought his end had +come. This tempest and tribulation lasted about two hours, at the end of +which he was left, not like his master, but so weak and exhausted that he +could not stand. Don Quixote, however, who, as has been said, felt +himself relieved and well, was eager to take his departure at once in +quest of adventures, as it seemed to him that all the time he loitered +there was a fraud upon the world and those in it who stood in need of his +help and protection, all the more when he had the security and confidence +his balsam afforded him; and so, urged by this impulse, he saddled +Rocinante himself and put the pack-saddle on his squire's beast, whom +likewise he helped to dress and mount the ass; after which he mounted his +horse and turning to a corner of the inn he laid hold of a pike that +stood there, to serve him by way of a lance. All that were in the inn, +who were more than twenty persons, stood watching him; the innkeeper's +daughter was likewise observing him, and he too never took his eyes off +her, and from time to time fetched a sigh that he seemed to pluck up from +the depths of his bowels; but they all thought it must be from the pain +he felt in his ribs; at any rate they who had seen him plastered the +night before thought so. + +As soon as they were both mounted, at the gate of the inn, he called to +the host and said in a very grave and measured voice, "Many and great are +the favours, Senor Alcaide, that I have received in this castle of yours, +and I remain under the deepest obligation to be grateful to you for them +all the days of my life; if I can repay them in avenging you of any +arrogant foe who may have wronged you, know that my calling is no other +than to aid the weak, to avenge those who suffer wrong, and to chastise +perfidy. Search your memory, and if you find anything of this kind you +need only tell me of it, and I promise you by the order of knighthood +which I have received to procure you satisfaction and reparation to the +utmost of your desire." + +The innkeeper replied to him with equal calmness, "Sir Knight, I do not +want your worship to avenge me of any wrong, because when any is done me +I can take what vengeance seems good to me; the only thing I want is that +you pay me the score that you have run up in the inn last night, as well +for the straw and barley for your two beasts, as for supper and beds." + +"Then this is an inn?" said Don Quixote. + +"And a very respectable one," said the innkeeper. + +"I have been under a mistake all this time," answered Don Quixote, "for +in truth I thought it was a castle, and not a bad one; but since it +appears that it is not a castle but an inn, all that can be done now is +that you should excuse the payment, for I cannot contravene the rule of +knights-errant, of whom I know as a fact (and up to the present I have +read nothing to the contrary) that they never paid for lodging or +anything else in the inn where they might be; for any hospitality that +might be offered them is their due by law and right in return for the +insufferable toil they endure in seeking adventures by night and by day, +in summer and in winter, on foot and on horseback, in hunger and thirst, +cold and heat, exposed to all the inclemencies of heaven and all the +hardships of earth." + +"I have little to do with that," replied the innkeeper; "pay me what you +owe me, and let us have no more talk of chivalry, for all I care about is +to get my money." + +"You are a stupid, scurvy innkeeper," said Don Quixote, and putting spurs +to Rocinante and bringing his pike to the slope he rode out of the inn +before anyone could stop him, and pushed on some distance without looking +to see if his squire was following him. + +The innkeeper when he saw him go without paying him ran to get payment of +Sancho, who said that as his master would not pay neither would he, +because, being as he was squire to a knight-errant, the same rule and +reason held good for him as for his master with regard to not paying +anything in inns and hostelries. At this the innkeeper waxed very wroth, +and threatened if he did not pay to compel him in a way that he would not +like. To which Sancho made answer that by the law of chivalry his master +had received he would not pay a rap, though it cost him his life; for the +excellent and ancient usage of knights-errant was not going to be +violated by him, nor should the squires of such as were yet to come into +the world ever complain of him or reproach him with breaking so just a +privilege. + +The ill-luck of the unfortunate Sancho so ordered it that among the +company in the inn there were four woolcarders from Segovia, three +needle-makers from the Colt of Cordova, and two lodgers from the Fair of +Seville, lively fellows, tender-hearted, fond of a joke, and playful, +who, almost as if instigated and moved by a common impulse, made up to +Sancho and dismounted him from his ass, while one of them went in for the +blanket of the host's bed; but on flinging him into it they looked up, +and seeing that the ceiling was somewhat lower what they required for +their work, they decided upon going out into the yard, which was bounded +by the sky, and there, putting Sancho in the middle of the blanket, they +began to raise him high, making sport with him as they would with a dog +at Shrovetide. + +The cries of the poor blanketed wretch were so loud that they reached the +ears of his master, who, halting to listen attentively, was persuaded +that some new adventure was coming, until he clearly perceived that it +was his squire who uttered them. Wheeling about he came up to the inn +with a laborious gallop, and finding it shut went round it to see if he +could find some way of getting in; but as soon as he came to the wall of +the yard, which was not very high, he discovered the game that was being +played with his squire. He saw him rising and falling in the air with +such grace and nimbleness that, had his rage allowed him, it is my belief +he would have laughed. He tried to climb from his horse on to the top of +the wall, but he was so bruised and battered that he could not even +dismount; and so from the back of his horse he began to utter such +maledictions and objurgations against those who were blanketing Sancho as +it would be impossible to write down accurately: they, however, did not +stay their laughter or their work for this, nor did the flying Sancho +cease his lamentations, mingled now with threats, now with entreaties but +all to little purpose, or none at all, until from pure weariness they +left off. They then brought him his ass, and mounting him on top of it +they put his jacket round him; and the compassionate Maritornes, seeing +him so exhausted, thought fit to refresh him with a jug of water, and +that it might be all the cooler she fetched it from the well. Sancho took +it, and as he was raising it to his mouth he was stopped by the cries of +his master exclaiming, "Sancho, my son, drink not water; drink it not, my +son, for it will kill thee; see, here I have the blessed balsam (and he +held up the flask of liquor), and with drinking two drops of it thou wilt +certainly be restored." + +At these words Sancho turned his eyes asquint, and in a still louder +voice said, "Can it be your worship has forgotten that I am not a knight, +or do you want me to end by vomiting up what bowels I have left after +last night? Keep your liquor in the name of all the devils, and leave me +to myself!" and at one and the same instant he left off talking and began +drinking; but as at the first sup he perceived it was water he did not +care to go on with it, and begged Maritornes to fetch him some wine, +which she did with right good will, and paid for it with her own money; +for indeed they say of her that, though she was in that line of life, +there was some faint and distant resemblance to a Christian about her. +When Sancho had done drinking he dug his heels into his ass, and the gate +of the inn being thrown open he passed out very well pleased at having +paid nothing and carried his point, though it had been at the expense of +his usual sureties, his shoulders. It is true that the innkeeper detained +his alforjas in payment of what was owing to him, but Sancho took his +departure in such a flurry that he never missed them. The innkeeper, as +soon as he saw him off, wanted to bar the gate close, but the blanketers +would not agree to it, for they were fellows who would not have cared two +farthings for Don Quixote, even had he been really one of the +knights-errant of the Round Table. + +Chapter XVIII. - +In which is related the discourse Sancho Panza held with his master, Don +Quixote, and other adventures worth relating + +Sancho reached his master so limp and faint that he could not urge on his +beast. When Don Quixote saw the state he was in he said, "I have now come +to the conclusion, good Sancho, that this castle or inn is beyond a doubt +enchanted, because those who have so atrociously diverted themselves with +thee, what can they be but phantoms or beings of another world? and I +hold this confirmed by having noticed that when I was by the wall of the +yard witnessing the acts of thy sad tragedy, it was out of my power to +mount upon it, nor could I even dismount from Rocinante, because they no +doubt had me enchanted; for I swear to thee by the faith of what I am +that if I had been able to climb up or dismount, I would have avenged +thee in such a way that those braggart thieves would have remembered +their freak for ever, even though in so doing I knew that I contravened +the laws of chivalry, which, as I have often told thee, do not permit a +knight to lay hands on him who is not one, save in case of urgent and +great necessity in defence of his own life and person." + +"I would have avenged myself too if I could," said Sancho, "whether I had +been dubbed knight or not, but I could not; though for my part I am +persuaded those who amused themselves with me were not phantoms or +enchanted men, as your worship says, but men of flesh and bone like +ourselves; and they all had their names, for I heard them name them when +they were tossing me, and one was called Pedro Martinez, and another +Tenorio Hernandez, and the innkeeper, I heard, was called Juan Palomeque +the Left-handed; so that, senor, your not being able to leap over the +wall of the yard or dismount from your horse came of something else +besides enchantments; and what I make out clearly from all this is, that +these adventures we go seeking will in the end lead us into such +misadventures that we shall not know which is our right foot; and that +the best and wisest thing, according to my small wits, would be for us to +return home, now that it is harvest-time, and attend to our business, and +give over wandering from Zeca to Mecca and from pail to bucket, as the +saying is." + +"How little thou knowest about chivalry, Sancho," replied Don Quixote; +"hold thy peace and have patience; the day will come when thou shalt see +with thine own eyes what an honourable thing it is to wander in the +pursuit of this calling; nay, tell me, what greater pleasure can there be +in the world, or what delight can equal that of winning a battle, and +triumphing over one's enemy? None, beyond all doubt." + +"Very likely," answered Sancho, "though I do not know it; all I know is +that since we have been knights-errant, or since your worship has been +one (for I have no right to reckon myself one of so honourable a number) +we have never won any battle except the one with the Biscayan, and even +out of that your worship came with half an ear and half a helmet the +less; and from that till now it has been all cudgellings and more +cudgellings, cuffs and more cuffs, I getting the blanketing over and +above, and falling in with enchanted persons on whom I cannot avenge +myself so as to know what the delight, as your worship calls it, of +conquering an enemy is like." + +"That is what vexes me, and what ought to vex thee, Sancho," replied Don +Quixote; "but henceforward I will endeavour to have at hand some sword +made by such craft that no kind of enchantments can take effect upon him +who carries it, and it is even possible that fortune may procure for me +that which belonged to Amadis when he was called 'The Knight of the +Burning Sword,' which was one of the best swords that ever knight in the +world possessed, for, besides having the said virtue, it cut like a +razor, and there was no armour, however strong and enchanted it might be, +that could resist it." + +"Such is my luck," said Sancho, "that even if that happened and your +worship found some such sword, it would, like the balsam, turn out +serviceable and good for dubbed knights only, and as for the squires, +they might sup sorrow." + +"Fear not that, Sancho," said Don Quixote: "Heaven will deal better by +thee." + +Thus talking, Don Quixote and his squire were going along, when, on the +road they were following, Don Quixote perceived approaching them a large +and thick cloud of dust, on seeing which he turned to Sancho and said: + +"This is the day, Sancho, on which will be seen the boon my fortune is +reserving for me; this, I say, is the day on which as much as on any +other shall be displayed the might of my arm, and on which I shall do +deeds that shall remain written in the book of fame for all ages to come. +Seest thou that cloud of dust which rises yonder? Well, then, all that is +churned up by a vast army composed of various and countless nations that +comes marching there." + +"According to that there must be two," said Sancho, "for on this opposite +side also there rises just such another cloud of dust." + +Don Quixote turned to look and found that it was true, and rejoicing +exceedingly, he concluded that they were two armies about to engage and +encounter in the midst of that broad plain; for at all times and seasons +his fancy was full of the battles, enchantments, adventures, crazy feats, +loves, and defiances that are recorded in the books of chivalry, and +everything he said, thought, or did had reference to such things. Now the +cloud of dust he had seen was raised by two great droves of sheep coming +along the same road in opposite directions, which, because of the dust, +did not become visible until they drew near, but Don Quixote asserted so +positively that they were armies that Sancho was led to believe it and +say, "Well, and what are we to do, senor?" + +"What?" said Don Quixote: "give aid and assistance to the weak and those +who need it; and thou must know, Sancho, that this which comes opposite +to us is conducted and led by the mighty emperor Alifanfaron, lord of the +great isle of Trapobana; this other that marches behind me is that of his +enemy the king of the Garamantas, Pentapolin of the Bare Arm, for he +always goes into battle with his right arm bare." + +"But why are these two lords such enemies?" + +"They are at enmity," replied Don Quixote, "because this Alifanfaron is a +furious pagan and is in love with the daughter of Pentapolin, who is a +very beautiful and moreover gracious lady, and a Christian, and her +father is unwilling to bestow her upon the pagan king unless he first +abandons the religion of his false prophet Mahomet, and adopts his own." + +"By my beard," said Sancho, "but Pentapolin does quite right, and I will +help him as much as I can." + +"In that thou wilt do what is thy duty, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "for +to engage in battles of this sort it is not requisite to be a dubbed +knight." + +"That I can well understand," answered Sancho; "but where shall we put +this ass where we may be sure to find him after the fray is over? for I +believe it has not been the custom so far to go into battle on a beast of +this kind." + +"That is true," said Don Quixote, "and what you had best do with him is +to leave him to take his chance whether he be lost or not, for the horses +we shall have when we come out victors will be so many that even +Rocinante will run a risk of being changed for another. But attend to me +and observe, for I wish to give thee some account of the chief knights +who accompany these two armies; and that thou mayest the better see and +mark, let us withdraw to that hillock which rises yonder, whence both +armies may be seen." + +They did so, and placed themselves on a rising ground from which the two +droves that Don Quixote made armies of might have been plainly seen if +the clouds of dust they raised had not obscured them and blinded the +sight; nevertheless, seeing in his imagination what he did not see and +what did not exist, he began thus in a loud voice: + +"That knight whom thou seest yonder in yellow armour, who bears upon his +shield a lion crowned crouching at the feet of a damsel, is the valiant +Laurcalco, lord of the Silver Bridge; that one in armour with flowers of +gold, who bears on his shield three crowns argent on an azure field, is +the dreaded Micocolembo, grand duke of Quirocia; that other of gigantic +frame, on his right hand, is the ever dauntless Brandabarbaran de +Boliche, lord of the three Arabias, who for armour wears that serpent +skin, and has for shield a gate which, according to tradition, is one of +those of the temple that Samson brought to the ground when by his death +he revenged himself upon his enemies. But turn thine eyes to the other +side, and thou shalt see in front and in the van of this other army the +ever victorious and never vanquished Timonel of Carcajona, prince of New +Biscay, who comes in armour with arms quartered azure, vert, white, and +yellow, and bears on his shield a cat or on a field tawny with a motto +which says Miau, which is the beginning of the name of his lady, who +according to report is the peerless Miaulina, daughter of the duke +Alfeniquen of the Algarve; the other, who burdens and presses the loins +of that powerful charger and bears arms white as snow and a shield blank +and without any device, is a novice knight, a Frenchman by birth, Pierres +Papin by name, lord of the baronies of Utrique; that other, who with +iron-shod heels strikes the flanks of that nimble parti-coloured zebra, +and for arms bears azure vair, is the mighty duke of Nerbia, +Espartafilardo del Bosque, who bears for device on his shield an +asparagus plant with a motto in Castilian that says, Rastrea mi suerte." +And so he went on naming a number of knights of one squadron or the other +out of his imagination, and to all he assigned off-hand their arms, +colours, devices, and mottoes, carried away by the illusions of his +unheard-of craze; and without a pause, he continued, "People of divers +nations compose this squadron in front; here are those that drink of the +sweet waters of the famous Xanthus, those that scour the woody Massilian +plains, those that sift the pure fine gold of Arabia Felix, those that +enjoy the famed cool banks of the crystal Thermodon, those that in many +and various ways divert the streams of the golden Pactolus, the +Numidians, faithless in their promises, the Persians renowned in archery, +the Parthians and the Medes that fight as they fly, the Arabs that ever +shift their dwellings, the Scythians as cruel as they are fair, the +Ethiopians with pierced lips, and an infinity of other nations whose +features I recognise and descry, though I cannot recall their names. In +this other squadron there come those that drink of the crystal streams of +the olive-bearing Betis, those that make smooth their countenances with +the water of the ever rich and golden Tagus, those that rejoice in the +fertilising flow of the divine Genil, those that roam the Tartesian +plains abounding in pasture, those that take their pleasure in the +Elysian meadows of Jerez, the rich Manchegans crowned with ruddy ears of +corn, the wearers of iron, old relics of the Gothic race, those that +bathe in the Pisuerga renowned for its gentle current, those that feed +their herds along the spreading pastures of the winding Guadiana famed +for its hidden course, those that tremble with the cold of the pineclad +Pyrenees or the dazzling snows of the lofty Apennine; in a word, as many +as all Europe includes and contains." + +Good God! what a number of countries and nations he named! giving to each +its proper attributes with marvellous readiness; brimful and saturated +with what he had read in his lying books! Sancho Panza hung upon his +words without speaking, and from time to time turned to try if he could +see the knights and giants his master was describing, and as he could not +make out one of them he said to him: + +"Senor, devil take it if there's a sign of any man you talk of, knight or +giant, in the whole thing; maybe it's all enchantment, like the phantoms +last night." + +"How canst thou say that!" answered Don Quixote; "dost thou not hear the +neighing of the steeds, the braying of the trumpets, the roll of the +drums?" + +"I hear nothing but a great bleating of ewes and sheep," said Sancho; +which was true, for by this time the two flocks had come close. + +"The fear thou art in, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "prevents thee from +seeing or hearing correctly, for one of the effects of fear is to derange +the senses and make things appear different from what they are; if thou +art in such fear, withdraw to one side and leave me to myself, for alone +I suffice to bring victory to that side to which I shall give my aid;" +and so saying he gave Rocinante the spur, and putting the lance in rest, +shot down the slope like a thunderbolt. Sancho shouted after him, crying, +"Come back, Senor Don Quixote; I vow to God they are sheep and ewes you +are charging! Come back! Unlucky the father that begot me! what madness +is this! Look, there is no giant, nor knight, nor cats, nor arms, nor +shields quartered or whole, nor vair azure or bedevilled. What are you +about? Sinner that I am before God!" But not for all these entreaties did +Don Quixote turn back; on the contrary he went on shouting out, "Ho, +knights, ye who follow and fight under the banners of the valiant emperor +Pentapolin of the Bare Arm, follow me all; ye shall see how easily I +shall give him his revenge over his enemy Alifanfaron of the Trapobana." + +So saying, he dashed into the midst of the squadron of ewes, and began +spearing them with as much spirit and intrepidity as if he were +transfixing mortal enemies in earnest. The shepherds and drovers +accompanying the flock shouted to him to desist; seeing it was no use, +they ungirt their slings and began to salute his ears with stones as big +as one's fist. Don Quixote gave no heed to the stones, but, letting drive +right and left kept saying: + +"Where art thou, proud Alifanfaron? Come before me; I am a single knight +who would fain prove thy prowess hand to hand, and make thee yield thy +life a penalty for the wrong thou dost to the valiant Pentapolin +Garamanta." Here came a sugar-plum from the brook that struck him on the +side and buried a couple of ribs in his body. Feeling himself so smitten, +he imagined himself slain or badly wounded for certain, and recollecting +his liquor he drew out his flask, and putting it to his mouth began to +pour the contents into his stomach; but ere he had succeeded in +swallowing what seemed to him enough, there came another almond which +struck him on the hand and on the flask so fairly that it smashed it to +pieces, knocking three or four teeth and grinders out of his mouth in its +course, and sorely crushing two fingers of his hand. Such was the force +of the first blow and of the second, that the poor knight in spite of +himself came down backwards off his horse. The shepherds came up, and +felt sure they had killed him; so in all haste they collected their flock +together, took up the dead beasts, of which there were more than seven, +and made off without waiting to ascertain anything further. + +All this time Sancho stood on the hill watching the crazy feats his +master was performing, and tearing his beard and cursing the hour and the +occasion when fortune had made him acquainted with him. Seeing him, then, +brought to the ground, and that the shepherds had taken themselves off, +he ran to him and found him in very bad case, though not unconscious; and +said he: + +"Did I not tell you to come back, Senor Don Quixote; and that what you +were going to attack were not armies but droves of sheep?" + +"That's how that thief of a sage, my enemy, can alter and falsify +things," answered Don Quixote; "thou must know, Sancho, that it is a very +easy matter for those of his sort to make us believe what they choose; +and this malignant being who persecutes me, envious of the glory he knew +I was to win in this battle, has turned the squadrons of the enemy into +droves of sheep. At any rate, do this much, I beg of thee, Sancho, to +undeceive thyself, and see that what I say is true; mount thy ass and +follow them quietly, and thou shalt see that when they have gone some +little distance from this they will return to their original shape and, +ceasing to be sheep, become men in all respects as I described them to +thee at first. But go not just yet, for I want thy help and assistance; +come hither, and see how many of my teeth and grinders are missing, for I +feel as if there was not one left in my mouth." + +Sancho came so close that he almost put his eyes into his mouth; now just +at that moment the balsam had acted on the stomach of Don Quixote, so, at +the very instant when Sancho came to examine his mouth, he discharged all +its contents with more force than a musket, and full into the beard of +the compassionate squire. + +"Holy Mary!" cried Sancho, "what is this that has happened me? Clearly +this sinner is mortally wounded, as he vomits blood from the mouth;" but +considering the matter a little more closely he perceived by the colour, +taste, and smell, that it was not blood but the balsam from the flask +which he had seen him drink; and he was taken with such a loathing that +his stomach turned, and he vomited up his inside over his very master, +and both were left in a precious state. Sancho ran to his ass to get +something wherewith to clean himself, and relieve his master, out of his +alforjas; but not finding them, he well-nigh took leave of his senses, +and cursed himself anew, and in his heart resolved to quit his master and +return home, even though he forfeited the wages of his service and all +hopes of the promised island. + +Don Quixote now rose, and putting his left hand to his mouth to keep his +teeth from falling out altogether, with the other he laid hold of the +bridle of Rocinante, who had never stirred from his master's side--so +loyal and well-behaved was he--and betook himself to where the squire +stood leaning over his ass with his hand to his cheek, like one in deep +dejection. Seeing him in this mood, looking so sad, Don Quixote said to +him: + +"Bear in mind, Sancho, that one man is no more than another, unless he +does more than another; all these tempests that fall upon us are signs +that fair weather is coming shortly, and that things will go well with +us, for it is impossible for good or evil to last for ever; and hence it +follows that the evil having lasted long, the good must be now nigh at +hand; so thou must not distress thyself at the misfortunes which happen +to me, since thou hast no share in them." + +"How have I not?" replied Sancho; "was he whom they blanketed yesterday +perchance any other than my father's son? and the alforjas that are +missing to-day with all my treasures, did they belong to any other but +myself?" + +"What! are the alforjas missing, Sancho?" said Don Quixote. + +"Yes, they are missing," answered Sancho. + +"In that case we have nothing to eat to-day," replied Don Quixote. + +"It would be so," answered Sancho, "if there were none of the herbs your +worship says you know in these meadows, those with which knights-errant +as unlucky as your worship are wont to supply such-like shortcomings." + +"For all that," answered Don Quixote, "I would rather have just now a +quarter of bread, or a loaf and a couple of pilchards' heads, than all +the herbs described by Dioscorides, even with Doctor Laguna's notes. +Nevertheless, Sancho the Good, mount thy beast and come along with me, +for God, who provides for all things, will not fail us (more especially +when we are so active in his service as we are), since he fails not the +midges of the air, nor the grubs of the earth, nor the tadpoles of the +water, and is so merciful that he maketh his sun to rise on the good and +on the evil, and sendeth rain on the unjust and on the just." + +"Your worship would make a better preacher than knight-errant," said +Sancho. + +"Knights-errant knew and ought to know everything, Sancho," said Don +Quixote; "for there were knights-errant in former times as well qualified +to deliver a sermon or discourse in the middle of an encampment, as if +they had graduated in the University of Paris; whereby we may see that +the lance has never blunted the pen, nor the pen the lance." + +"Well, be it as your worship says," replied Sancho; "let us be off now +and find some place of shelter for the night, and God grant it may be +somewhere where there are no blankets, nor blanketeers, nor phantoms, nor +enchanted Moors; for if there are, may the devil take the whole concern." + +"Ask that of God, my son," said Don Quixote; "and do thou lead on where +thou wilt, for this time I leave our lodging to thy choice; but reach me +here thy hand, and feel with thy finger, and find out how many of my +teeth and grinders are missing from this right side of the upper jaw, for +it is there I feel the pain." + +Sancho put in his fingers, and feeling about asked him, "How many +grinders used your worship have on this side?" + +"Four," replied Don Quixote, "besides the back-tooth, all whole and quite +sound." + +"Mind what you are saying, senor." + +"I say four, if not five," answered Don Quixote, "for never in my life +have I had tooth or grinder drawn, nor has any fallen out or been +destroyed by any decay or rheum." + +"Well, then," said Sancho, "in this lower side your worship has no more +than two grinders and a half, and in the upper neither a half nor any at +all, for it is all as smooth as the palm of my hand." + +"Luckless that I am!" said Don Quixote, hearing the sad news his squire +gave him; "I had rather they despoiled me of an arm, so it were not the +sword-arm; for I tell thee, Sancho, a mouth without teeth is like a mill +without a millstone, and a tooth is much more to be prized than a +diamond; but we who profess the austere order of chivalry are liable to +all this. Mount, friend, and lead the way, and I will follow thee at +whatever pace thou wilt." + +Sancho did as he bade him, and proceeded in the direction in which he +thought he might find refuge without quitting the high road, which was +there very much frequented. As they went along, then, at a slow pace--for +the pain in Don Quixote's jaws kept him uneasy and ill-disposed for +speed--Sancho thought it well to amuse and divert him by talk of some +kind, and among the things he said to him was that which will be told in +the following chapter. + +Chapter XIX. - +Of the shrewd discourse which Sancho held with his master, and of the +adventure that befell him with a dead body, together with other notable +occurrences + +"It seems to me, senor, that all these mishaps that have befallen us of +late have been without any doubt a punishment for the offence committed +by your worship against the order of chivalry in not keeping the oath you +made not to eat bread off a tablecloth or embrace the queen, and all the +rest of it that your worship swore to observe until you had taken that +helmet of Malandrino's, or whatever the Moor is called, for I do not very +well remember." + +"Thou art very right, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "but to tell the truth, +it had escaped my memory; and likewise thou mayest rely upon it that the +affair of the blanket happened to thee because of thy fault in not +reminding me of it in time; but I will make amends, for there are ways of +compounding for everything in the order of chivalry." + +"Why! have I taken an oath of some sort, then?" said Sancho. + +"It makes no matter that thou hast not taken an oath," said Don Quixote; +"suffice it that I see thou art not quite clear of complicity; and +whether or no, it will not be ill done to provide ourselves with a +remedy." + +"In that case," said Sancho, "mind that your worship does not forget this +as you did the oath; perhaps the phantoms may take it into their heads to +amuse themselves once more with me; or even with your worship if they see +you so obstinate." + +While engaged in this and other talk, night overtook them on the road +before they had reached or discovered any place of shelter; and what made +it still worse was that they were dying of hunger, for with the loss of +the alforjas they had lost their entire larder and commissariat; and to +complete the misfortune they met with an adventure which without any +invention had really the appearance of one. It so happened that the night +closed in somewhat darkly, but for all that they pushed on, Sancho +feeling sure that as the road was the king's highway they might +reasonably expect to find some inn within a league or two. Going along, +then, in this way, the night dark, the squire hungry, the master +sharp-set, they saw coming towards them on the road they were travelling +a great number of lights which looked exactly like stars in motion. +Sancho was taken aback at the sight of them, nor did Don Quixote +altogether relish them: the one pulled up his ass by the halter, the +other his hack by the bridle, and they stood still, watching anxiously to +see what all this would turn out to be, and found that the lights were +approaching them, and the nearer they came the greater they seemed, at +which spectacle Sancho began to shake like a man dosed with mercury, and +Don Quixote's hair stood on end; he, however, plucking up spirit a +little, said: + +"This, no doubt, Sancho, will be a most mighty and perilous adventure, in +which it will be needful for me to put forth all my valour and +resolution." + +"Unlucky me!" answered Sancho; "if this adventure happens to be one of +phantoms, as I am beginning to think it is, where shall I find the ribs +to bear it?" + +"Be they phantoms ever so much," said Don Quixote, "I will not permit +them to touch a thread of thy garments; for if they played tricks with +thee the time before, it was because I was unable to leap the walls of +the yard; but now we are on a wide plain, where I shall be able to wield +my sword as I please." + +"And if they enchant and cripple you as they did the last time," said +Sancho, "what difference will it make being on the open plain or not?" + +"For all that," replied Don Quixote, "I entreat thee, Sancho, to keep a +good heart, for experience will tell thee what mine is." + +"I will, please God," answered Sancho, and the two retiring to one side +of the road set themselves to observe closely what all these moving +lights might be; and very soon afterwards they made out some twenty +encamisados, all on horseback, with lighted torches in their hands, the +awe-inspiring aspect of whom completely extinguished the courage of +Sancho, who began to chatter with his teeth like one in the cold fit of +an ague; and his heart sank and his teeth chattered still more when they +perceived distinctly that behind them there came a litter covered over +with black and followed by six more mounted figures in mourning down to +the very feet of their mules--for they could perceive plainly they were +not horses by the easy pace at which they went. And as the encamisados +came along they muttered to themselves in a low plaintive tone. This +strange spectacle at such an hour and in such a solitary place was quite +enough to strike terror into Sancho's heart, and even into his master's; +and (save in Don Quixote's case) did so, for all Sancho's resolution had +now broken down. It was just the opposite with his master, whose +imagination immediately conjured up all this to him vividly as one of the +adventures of his books. + +He took it into his head that the litter was a bier on which was borne +some sorely wounded or slain knight, to avenge whom was a task reserved +for him alone; and without any further reasoning he laid his lance in +rest, fixed himself firmly in his saddle, and with gallant spirit and +bearing took up his position in the middle of the road where the +encamisados must of necessity pass; and as soon as he saw them near at +hand he raised his voice and said: + +"Halt, knights, or whosoever ye may be, and render me account of who ye +are, whence ye come, where ye go, what it is ye carry upon that bier, +for, to judge by appearances, either ye have done some wrong or some +wrong has been done to you, and it is fitting and necessary that I should +know, either that I may chastise you for the evil ye have done, or else +that I may avenge you for the injury that has been inflicted upon you." + +"We are in haste," answered one of the encamisados, "and the inn is far +off, and we cannot stop to render you such an account as you demand;" and +spurring his mule he moved on. + +Don Quixote was mightily provoked by this answer, and seizing the mule by +the bridle he said, "Halt, and be more mannerly, and render an account of +what I have asked of you; else, take my defiance to combat, all of you." + +The mule was shy, and was so frightened at her bridle being seized that +rearing up she flung her rider to the ground over her haunches. An +attendant who was on foot, seeing the encamisado fall, began to abuse Don +Quixote, who now moved to anger, without any more ado, laying his lance +in rest charged one of the men in mourning and brought him badly wounded +to the ground, and as he wheeled round upon the others the agility with +which he attacked and routed them was a sight to see, for it seemed just +as if wings had that instant grown upon Rocinante, so lightly and proudly +did he bear himself. The encamisados were all timid folk and unarmed, so +they speedily made their escape from the fray and set off at a run across +the plain with their lighted torches, looking exactly like maskers +running on some gala or festival night. The mourners, too, enveloped and +swathed in their skirts and gowns, were unable to bestir themselves, and +so with entire safety to himself Don Quixote belaboured them all and +drove them off against their will, for they all thought it was no man but +a devil from hell come to carry away the dead body they had in the +litter. + +Sancho beheld all this in astonishment at the intrepidity of his lord, +and said to himself, "Clearly this master of mine is as bold and valiant +as he says he is." + +A burning torch lay on the ground near the first man whom the mule had +thrown, by the light of which Don Quixote perceived him, and coming up to +him he presented the point of the lance to his face, calling on him to +yield himself prisoner, or else he would kill him; to which the prostrate +man replied, "I am prisoner enough as it is; I cannot stir, for one of my +legs is broken: I entreat you, if you be a Christian gentleman, not to +kill me, which will be committing grave sacrilege, for I am a licentiate +and I hold first orders." + +"Then what the devil brought you here, being a churchman?" said Don +Quixote. + +"What, senor?" said the other. "My bad luck." + +"Then still worse awaits you," said Don Quixote, "if you do not satisfy +me as to all I asked you at first." + +"You shall be soon satisfied," said the licentiate; "you must know, then, +that though just now I said I was a licentiate, I am only a bachelor, and +my name is Alonzo Lopez; I am a native of Alcobendas, I come from the +city of Baeza with eleven others, priests, the same who fled with the +torches, and we are going to the city of Segovia accompanying a dead body +which is in that litter, and is that of a gentleman who died in Baeza, +where he was interred; and now, as I said, we are taking his bones to +their burial-place, which is in Segovia, where he was born." + +"And who killed him?" asked Don Quixote. + +"God, by means of a malignant fever that took him," answered the +bachelor. + +"In that case," said Don Quixote, "the Lord has relieved me of the task +of avenging his death had any other slain him; but, he who slew him +having slain him, there is nothing for it but to be silent, and shrug +one's shoulders; I should do the same were he to slay myself; and I would +have your reverence know that I am a knight of La Mancha, Don Quixote by +name, and it is my business and calling to roam the world righting wrongs +and redressing injuries." + +"I do not know how that about righting wrongs can be," said the bachelor, +"for from straight you have made me crooked, leaving me with a broken leg +that will never see itself straight again all the days of its life; and +the injury you have redressed in my case has been to leave me injured in +such a way that I shall remain injured for ever; and the height of +misadventure it was to fall in with you who go in search of adventures." + +"Things do not all happen in the same way," answered Don Quixote; "it all +came, Sir Bachelor Alonzo Lopez, of your going, as you did, by night, +dressed in those surplices, with lighted torches, praying, covered with +mourning, so that naturally you looked like something evil and of the +other world; and so I could not avoid doing my duty in attacking you, and +I should have attacked you even had I known positively that you were the +very devils of hell, for such I certainly believed and took you to be." + +"As my fate has so willed it," said the bachelor, "I entreat you, sir +knight-errant, whose errand has been such an evil one for me, to help me +to get from under this mule that holds one of my legs caught between the +stirrup and the saddle." + +"I would have talked on till to-morrow," said Don Quixote; "how long were +you going to wait before telling me of your distress?" + +He at once called to Sancho, who, however, had no mind to come, as he was +just then engaged in unloading a sumpter mule, well laden with provender, +which these worthy gentlemen had brought with them. Sancho made a bag of +his coat, and, getting together as much as he could, and as the bag would +hold, he loaded his beast, and then hastened to obey his master's call, +and helped him to remove the bachelor from under the mule; then putting +him on her back he gave him the torch, and Don Quixote bade him follow +the track of his companions, and beg pardon of them on his part for the +wrong which he could not help doing them. + +And said Sancho, "If by chance these gentlemen should want to know who +was the hero that served them so, your worship may tell them that he is +the famous Don Quixote of La Mancha, otherwise called the Knight of the +Rueful Countenance." + +The bachelor then took his departure. + +I forgot to mention that before he did so he said to Don Quixote, +"Remember that you stand excommunicated for having laid violent hands on +a holy thing, juxta illud, si quis, suadente diabolo." + +"I do not understand that Latin," answered Don Quixote, "but I know well +I did not lay hands, only this pike; besides, I did not think I was +committing an assault upon priests or things of the Church, which, like a +Catholic and faithful Christian as I am, I respect and revere, but upon +phantoms and spectres of the other world; but even so, I remember how it +fared with Cid Ruy Diaz when he broke the chair of the ambassador of that +king before his Holiness the Pope, who excommunicated him for the same; +and yet the good Roderick of Vivar bore himself that day like a very +noble and valiant knight." + +On hearing this the bachelor took his departure, as has been said, +without making any reply; and Don Quixote asked Sancho what had induced +him to call him the "Knight of the Rueful Countenance" more then than at +any other time. + +"I will tell you," answered Sancho; "it was because I have been looking +at you for some time by the light of the torch held by that unfortunate, +and verily your worship has got of late the most ill-favoured countenance +I ever saw: it must be either owing to the fatigue of this combat, or +else to the want of teeth and grinders." + +"It is not that," replied Don Quixote, "but because the sage whose duty +it will be to write the history of my achievements must have thought it +proper that I should take some distinctive name as all knights of yore +did; one being 'He of the Burning Sword,' another 'He of the Unicorn,' +this one 'He of the Damsels,' that 'He of the Phoenix,' another 'The +Knight of the Griffin,' and another 'He of the Death,' and by these names +and designations they were known all the world round; and so I say that +the sage aforesaid must have put it into your mouth and mind just now to +call me 'The Knight of the Rueful Countenance,' as I intend to call +myself from this day forward; and that the said name may fit me better, I +mean, when the opportunity offers, to have a very rueful countenance +painted on my shield." + +"There is no occasion, senor, for wasting time or money on making that +countenance," said Sancho; "for all that need be done is for your worship +to show your own, face to face, to those who look at you, and without +anything more, either image or shield, they will call you 'Him of the +Rueful Countenance' and believe me I am telling you the truth, for I +assure you, senor (and in good part be it said), hunger and the loss of +your grinders have given you such an ill-favoured face that, as I say, +the rueful picture may be very well spared." + +Don Quixote laughed at Sancho's pleasantry; nevertheless he resolved to +call himself by that name, and have his shield or buckler painted as he +had devised. + +Don Quixote would have looked to see whether the body in the litter were +bones or not, but Sancho would not have it, saying: + +"Senor, you have ended this perilous adventure more safely for yourself +than any of those I have seen: perhaps these people, though beaten and +routed, may bethink themselves that it is a single man that has beaten +them, and feeling sore and ashamed of it may take heart and come in +search of us and give us trouble enough. The ass is in proper trim, the +mountains are near at hand, hunger presses, we have nothing more to do +but make good our retreat, and, as the saying is, the dead to the grave +and the living to the loaf." + +And driving his ass before him he begged his master to follow, who, +feeling that Sancho was right, did so without replying; and after +proceeding some little distance between two hills they found themselves +in a wide and retired valley, where they alighted, and Sancho unloaded +his beast, and stretched upon the green grass, with hunger for sauce, +they breakfasted, dined, lunched, and supped all at once, satisfying +their appetites with more than one store of cold meat which the dead +man's clerical gentlemen (who seldom put themselves on short allowance) +had brought with them on their sumpter mule. But another piece of +ill-luck befell them, which Sancho held the worst of all, and that was +that they had no wine to drink, nor even water to moisten their lips; and +as thirst tormented them, Sancho, observing that the meadow where they +were was full of green and tender grass, said what will be told in the +following chapter. + +Chapter XX. - +Of the unexampled and unheard-of adventure which was achieved by the +valiant Don Quixote of La Mancha with less peril than any ever achieved +by any famous Knight in the world + +"It cannot be, senor, but that this grass is a proof that there must be +hard by some spring or brook to give it moisture, so it would be well to +move a little farther on, that we may find some place where we may quench +this terrible thirst that plagues us, which beyond a doubt is more +distressing than hunger." + +The advice seemed good to Don Quixote, and, he leading Rocinante by the +bridle and Sancho the ass by the halter, after he had packed away upon +him the remains of the supper, they advanced the meadow feeling their +way, for the darkness of the night made it impossible to see anything; +but they had not gone two hundred paces when a loud noise of water, as if +falling from great rocks, struck their ears. The sound cheered them +greatly; but halting to make out by listening from what quarter it came +they heard unseasonably another noise which spoiled the satisfaction the +sound of the water gave them, especially for Sancho, who was by nature +timid and faint-hearted. They heard, I say, strokes falling with a +measured beat, and a certain rattling of iron and chains that, together +with the furious din of the water, would have struck terror into any +heart but Don Quixote's. The night was, as has been said, dark, and they +had happened to reach a spot in among some tall trees, whose leaves +stirred by a gentle breeze made a low ominous sound; so that, what with +the solitude, the place, the darkness, the noise of the water, and the +rustling of the leaves, everything inspired awe and dread; more +especially as they perceived that the strokes did not cease, nor the wind +lull, nor morning approach; to all which might be added their ignorance +as to where they were. + +But Don Quixote, supported by his intrepid heart, leaped on Rocinante, +and bracing his buckler on his arm, brought his pike to the slope, and +said, "Friend Sancho, know that I by Heaven's will have been born in this +our iron age to revive revive in it the age of gold, or the golden as it +is called; I am he for whom perils, mighty achievements, and valiant +deeds are reserved; I am, I say again, he who is to revive the Knights of +the Round Table, the Twelve of France and the Nine Worthies; and he who +is to consign to oblivion the Platirs, the Tablantes, the Olivantes and +Tirantes, the Phoebuses and Belianises, with the whole herd of famous +knights-errant of days gone by, performing in these in which I live such +exploits, marvels, and feats of arms as shall obscure their brightest +deeds. Thou dost mark well, faithful and trusty squire, the gloom of this +night, its strange silence, the dull confused murmur of those trees, the +awful sound of that water in quest of which we came, that seems as though +it were precipitating and dashing itself down from the lofty mountains of +the Moon, and that incessant hammering that wounds and pains our ears; +which things all together and each of itself are enough to instil fear, +dread, and dismay into the breast of Mars himself, much more into one not +used to hazards and adventures of the kind. Well, then, all this that I +put before thee is but an incentive and stimulant to my spirit, making my +heart burst in my bosom through eagerness to engage in this adventure, +arduous as it promises to be; therefore tighten Rocinante's girths a +little, and God be with thee; wait for me here three days and no more, +and if in that time I come not back, thou canst return to our village, +and thence, to do me a favour and a service, thou wilt go to El Toboso, +where thou shalt say to my incomparable lady Dulcinea that her captive +knight hath died in attempting things that might make him worthy of being +called hers." + +When Sancho heard his master's words he began to weep in the most +pathetic way, saying: + +"Senor, I know not why your worship wants to attempt this so dreadful +adventure; it is night now, no one sees us here, we can easily turn about +and take ourselves out of danger, even if we don't drink for three days +to come; and as there is no one to see us, all the less will there be +anyone to set us down as cowards; besides, I have many a time heard the +curate of our village, whom your worship knows well, preach that he who +seeks danger perishes in it; so it is not right to tempt God by trying so +tremendous a feat from which there can be no escape save by a miracle, +and Heaven has performed enough of them for your worship in delivering +you from being blanketed as I was, and bringing you out victorious and +safe and sound from among all those enemies that were with the dead man; +and if all this does not move or soften that hard heart, let this thought +and reflection move it, that you will have hardly quitted this spot when +from pure fear I shall yield my soul up to anyone that will take it. I +left home and wife and children to come and serve your worship, trusting +to do better and not worse; but as covetousness bursts the bag, it has +rent my hopes asunder, for just as I had them highest about getting that +wretched unlucky island your worship has so often promised me, I see that +instead and in lieu of it you mean to desert me now in a place so far +from human reach: for God's sake, master mine, deal not so unjustly by +me, and if your worship will not entirely give up attempting this feat, +at least put it off till morning, for by what the lore I learned when I +was a shepherd tells me it cannot want three hours of dawn now, because +the mouth of the Horn is overhead and makes midnight in the line of the +left arm." + +"How canst thou see, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "where it makes that +line, or where this mouth or this occiput is that thou talkest of, when +the night is so dark that there is not a star to be seen in the whole +heaven?" + +"That's true," said Sancho, "but fear has sharp eyes, and sees things +underground, much more above in heavens; besides, there is good reason to +show that it now wants but little of day." + +"Let it want what it may," replied Don Quixote, "it shall not be said of +me now or at any time that tears or entreaties turned me aside from doing +what was in accordance with knightly usage; and so I beg of thee, Sancho, +to hold thy peace, for God, who has put it into my heart to undertake now +this so unexampled and terrible adventure, will take care to watch over +my safety and console thy sorrow; what thou hast to do is to tighten +Rocinante's girths well, and wait here, for I shall come back shortly, +alive or dead." + +Sancho perceiving it his master's final resolve, and how little his +tears, counsels, and entreaties prevailed with him, determined to have +recourse to his own ingenuity and compel him, if he could, to wait till +daylight; and so, while tightening the girths of the horse, he quietly +and without being felt, with his ass' halter tied both Rocinante's legs, +so that when Don Quixote strove to go he was unable as the horse could +only move by jumps. Seeing the success of his trick, Sancho Panza said: + +"See there, senor! Heaven, moved by my tears and prayers, has so ordered +it that Rocinante cannot stir; and if you will be obstinate, and spur and +strike him, you will only provoke fortune, and kick, as they say, against +the pricks." + +Don Quixote at this grew desperate, but the more he drove his heels into +the horse, the less he stirred him; and not having any suspicion of the +tying, he was fain to resign himself and wait till daybreak or until +Rocinante could move, firmly persuaded that all this came of something +other than Sancho's ingenuity. So he said to him, "As it is so, Sancho, +and as Rocinante cannot move, I am content to wait till dawn smiles upon +us, even though I weep while it delays its coming." + +"There is no need to weep," answered Sancho, "for I will amuse your +worship by telling stories from this till daylight, unless indeed you +like to dismount and lie down to sleep a little on the green grass after +the fashion of knights-errant, so as to be fresher when day comes and the +moment arrives for attempting this extraordinary adventure you are +looking forward to." + +"What art thou talking about dismounting or sleeping for?" said Don +Quixote. "Am I, thinkest thou, one of those knights that take their rest +in the presence of danger? Sleep thou who art born to sleep, or do as +thou wilt, for I will act as I think most consistent with my character." + +"Be not angry, master mine," replied Sancho, "I did not mean to say +that;" and coming close to him he laid one hand on the pommel of the +saddle and the other on the cantle so that he held his master's left +thigh in his embrace, not daring to separate a finger's width from him; +so much afraid was he of the strokes which still resounded with a regular +beat. Don Quixote bade him tell some story to amuse him as he had +proposed, to which Sancho replied that he would if his dread of what he +heard would let him; "Still," said he, "I will strive to tell a story +which, if I can manage to relate it, and nobody interferes with the +telling, is the best of stories, and let your worship give me your +attention, for here I begin. What was, was; and may the good that is to +come be for all, and the evil for him who goes to look for it--your +worship must know that the beginning the old folk used to put to their +tales was not just as each one pleased; it was a maxim of Cato Zonzorino +the Roman, that says 'the evil for him that goes to look for it,' and it +comes as pat to the purpose now as ring to finger, to show that your +worship should keep quiet and not go looking for evil in any quarter, and +that we should go back by some other road, since nobody forces us to +follow this in which so many terrors affright us." + +"Go on with thy story, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "and leave the choice +of our road to my care." + +"I say then," continued Sancho, "that in a village of Estremadura there +was a goat-shepherd--that is to say, one who tended goats--which shepherd +or goatherd, as my story goes, was called Lope Ruiz, and this Lope Ruiz +was in love with a shepherdess called Torralva, which shepherdess called +Torralva was the daughter of a rich grazier, and this rich grazier-" + +"If that is the way thou tellest thy tale, Sancho," said Don Quixote, +"repeating twice all thou hast to say, thou wilt not have done these two +days; go straight on with it, and tell it like a reasonable man, or else +say nothing." + +"Tales are always told in my country in the very way I am telling this," +answered Sancho, "and I cannot tell it in any other, nor is it right of +your worship to ask me to make new customs." + +"Tell it as thou wilt," replied Don Quixote; "and as fate will have it +that I cannot help listening to thee, go on." + +"And so, lord of my soul," continued Sancho, as I have said, this +shepherd was in love with Torralva the shepherdess, who was a wild buxom +lass with something of the look of a man about her, for she had little +moustaches; I fancy I see her now." + +"Then you knew her?" said Don Quixote. + +"I did not know her," said Sancho, "but he who told me the story said it +was so true and certain that when I told it to another I might safely +declare and swear I had seen it all myself. And so in course of time, the +devil, who never sleeps and puts everything in confusion, contrived that +the love the shepherd bore the shepherdess turned into hatred and +ill-will, and the reason, according to evil tongues, was some little +jealousy she caused him that crossed the line and trespassed on forbidden +ground; and so much did the shepherd hate her from that time forward +that, in order to escape from her, he determined to quit the country and +go where he should never set eyes on her again. Torralva, when she found +herself spurned by Lope, was immediately smitten with love for him, +though she had never loved him before." + +"That is the natural way of women," said Don Quixote, "to scorn the one +that loves them, and love the one that hates them: go on, Sancho." + +"It came to pass," said Sancho, "that the shepherd carried out his +intention, and driving his goats before him took his way across the +plains of Estremadura to pass over into the Kingdom of Portugal. +Torralva, who knew of it, went after him, and on foot and barefoot +followed him at a distance, with a pilgrim's staff in her hand and a +scrip round her neck, in which she carried, it is said, a bit of +looking-glass and a piece of a comb and some little pot or other of paint +for her face; but let her carry what she did, I am not going to trouble +myself to prove it; all I say is, that the shepherd, they say, came with +his flock to cross over the river Guadiana, which was at that time +swollen and almost overflowing its banks, and at the spot he came to +there was neither ferry nor boat nor anyone to carry him or his flock to +the other side, at which he was much vexed, for he perceived that +Torralva was approaching and would give him great annoyance with her +tears and entreaties; however, he went looking about so closely that he +discovered a fisherman who had alongside of him a boat so small that it +could only hold one person and one goat; but for all that he spoke to him +and agreed with him to carry himself and his three hundred goats across. +The fisherman got into the boat and carried one goat over; he came back +and carried another over; he came back again, and again brought over +another--let your worship keep count of the goats the fisherman is taking +across, for if one escapes the memory there will be an end of the story, +and it will be impossible to tell another word of it. To proceed, I must +tell you the landing place on the other side was miry and slippery, and +the fisherman lost a great deal of time in going and coming; still he +returned for another goat, and another, and another." + +"Take it for granted he brought them all across," said Don Quixote, "and +don't keep going and coming in this way, or thou wilt not make an end of +bringing them over this twelvemonth." + +"How many have gone across so far?" said Sancho. + +"How the devil do I know?" replied Don Quixote. + +"There it is," said Sancho, "what I told you, that you must keep a good +count; well then, by God, there is an end of the story, for there is no +going any farther." + +"How can that be?" said Don Quixote; "is it so essential to the story to +know to a nicety the goats that have crossed over, that if there be a +mistake of one in the reckoning, thou canst not go on with it?" + +"No, senor, not a bit," replied Sancho; "for when I asked your worship to +tell me how many goats had crossed, and you answered you did not know, at +that very instant all I had to say passed away out of my memory, and, +faith, there was much virtue in it, and entertainment." + +"So, then," said Don Quixote, "the story has come to an end?" + +"As much as my mother has," said Sancho. + +"In truth," said Don Quixote, "thou hast told one of the rarest stories, +tales, or histories, that anyone in the world could have imagined, and +such a way of telling it and ending it was never seen nor will be in a +lifetime; though I expected nothing else from thy excellent +understanding. But I do not wonder, for perhaps those ceaseless strokes +may have confused thy wits." + +"All that may be," replied Sancho, "but I know that as to my story, all +that can be said is that it ends there where the mistake in the count of +the passage of the goats begins." + +"Let it end where it will, well and good," said Don Quixote, "and let us +see if Rocinante can go;" and again he spurred him, and again Rocinante +made jumps and remained where he was, so well tied was he. + +Just then, whether it was the cold of the morning that was now +approaching, or that he had eaten something laxative at supper, or that +it was only natural (as is most likely), Sancho felt a desire to do what +no one could do for him; but so great was the fear that had penetrated +his heart, he dared not separate himself from his master by as much as +the black of his nail; to escape doing what he wanted was, however, also +impossible; so what he did for peace's sake was to remove his right hand, +which held the back of the saddle, and with it to untie gently and +silently the running string which alone held up his breeches, so that on +loosening it they at once fell down round his feet like fetters; he then +raised his shirt as well as he could and bared his hind quarters, no slim +ones. But, this accomplished, which he fancied was all he had to do to +get out of this terrible strait and embarrassment, another still greater +difficulty presented itself, for it seemed to him impossible to relieve +himself without making some noise, and he ground his teeth and squeezed +his shoulders together, holding his breath as much as he could; but in +spite of his precautions he was unlucky enough after all to make a little +noise, very different from that which was causing him so much fear. + +Don Quixote, hearing it, said, "What noise is that, Sancho?" + +"I don't know, senor," said he; "it must be something new, for adventures +and misadventures never begin with a trifle." Once more he tried his +luck, and succeeded so well, that without any further noise or +disturbance he found himself relieved of the burden that had given him so +much discomfort. But as Don Quixote's sense of smell was as acute as his +hearing, and as Sancho was so closely linked with him that the fumes rose +almost in a straight line, it could not be but that some should reach his +nose, and as soon as they did he came to its relief by compressing it +between his fingers, saying in a rather snuffing tone, "Sancho, it +strikes me thou art in great fear." + +"I am," answered Sancho; "but how does your worship perceive it now more +than ever?" + +"Because just now thou smellest stronger than ever, and not of +ambergris," answered Don Quixote. + +"Very likely," said Sancho, "but that's not my fault, but your worship's, +for leading me about at unseasonable hours and at such unwonted paces." + +"Then go back three or four, my friend," said Don Quixote, all the time +with his fingers to his nose; "and for the future pay more attention to +thy person and to what thou owest to mine; for it is my great familiarity +with thee that has bred this contempt." + +"I'll bet," replied Sancho, "that your worship thinks I have done +something I ought not with my person." + +"It makes it worse to stir it, friend Sancho," returned Don Quixote. + +With this and other talk of the same sort master and man passed the +night, till Sancho, perceiving that daybreak was coming on apace, very +cautiously untied Rocinante and tied up his breeches. As soon as +Rocinante found himself free, though by nature he was not at all +mettlesome, he seemed to feel lively and began pawing--for as to +capering, begging his pardon, he knew not what it meant. Don Quixote, +then, observing that Rocinante could move, took it as a good sign and a +signal that he should attempt the dread adventure. By this time day had +fully broken and everything showed distinctly, and Don Quixote saw that +he was among some tall trees, chestnuts, which cast a very deep shade; he +perceived likewise that the sound of the strokes did not cease, but could +not discover what caused it, and so without any further delay he let +Rocinante feel the spur, and once more taking leave of Sancho, he told +him to wait for him there three days at most, as he had said before, and +if he should not have returned by that time, he might feel sure it had +been God's will that he should end his days in that perilous adventure. +He again repeated the message and commission with which he was to go on +his behalf to his lady Dulcinea, and said he was not to be uneasy as to +the payment of his services, for before leaving home he had made his +will, in which he would find himself fully recompensed in the matter of +wages in due proportion to the time he had served; but if God delivered +him safe, sound, and unhurt out of that danger, he might look upon the +promised island as much more than certain. Sancho began to weep afresh on +again hearing the affecting words of his good master, and resolved to +stay with him until the final issue and end of the business. From these +tears and this honourable resolve of Sancho Panza's the author of this +history infers that he must have been of good birth and at least an old +Christian; and the feeling he displayed touched his but not so much as to +make him show any weakness; on the contrary, hiding what he felt as well +as he could, he began to move towards that quarter whence the sound of +the water and of the strokes seemed to come. + +Sancho followed him on foot, leading by the halter, as his custom was, +his ass, his constant comrade in prosperity or adversity; and advancing +some distance through the shady chestnut trees they came upon a little +meadow at the foot of some high rocks, down which a mighty rush of water +flung itself. At the foot of the rocks were some rudely constructed +houses looking more like ruins than houses, from among which came, they +perceived, the din and clatter of blows, which still continued without +intermission. Rocinante took fright at the noise of the water and of the +blows, but quieting him Don Quixote advanced step by step towards the +houses, commending himself with all his heart to his lady, imploring her +support in that dread pass and enterprise, and on the way commending +himself to God, too, not to forget him. Sancho who never quitted his +side, stretched his neck as far as he could and peered between the legs +of Rocinante to see if he could now discover what it was that caused him +such fear and apprehension. They went it might be a hundred paces +farther, when on turning a corner the true cause, beyond the possibility +of any mistake, of that dread-sounding and to them awe-inspiring noise +that had kept them all the night in such fear and perplexity, appeared +plain and obvious; and it was (if, reader, thou art not disgusted and +disappointed) six fulling hammers which by their alternate strokes made +all the din. + +When Don Quixote perceived what it was, he was struck dumb and rigid from +head to foot. Sancho glanced at him and saw him with his head bent down +upon his breast in manifest mortification; and Don Quixote glanced at +Sancho and saw him with his cheeks puffed out and his mouth full of +laughter, and evidently ready to explode with it, and in spite of his +vexation he could not help laughing at the sight of him; and when Sancho +saw his master begin he let go so heartily that he had to hold his sides +with both hands to keep himself from bursting with laughter. Four times +he stopped, and as many times did his laughter break out afresh with the +same violence as at first, whereat Don Quixote grew furious, above all +when he heard him say mockingly, "Thou must know, friend Sancho, that of +Heaven's will I was born in this our iron age to revive in it the golden +or age of gold; I am he for whom are reserved perils, mighty +achievements, valiant deeds;" and here he went on repeating the words +that Don Quixote uttered the first time they heard the awful strokes. + +Don Quixote, then, seeing that Sancho was turning him into ridicule, was +so mortified and vexed that he lifted up his pike and smote him two such +blows that if, instead of catching them on his shoulders, he had caught +them on his head there would have been no wages to pay, unless indeed to +his heirs. Sancho seeing that he was getting an awkward return in earnest +for his jest, and fearing his master might carry it still further, said +to him very humbly, "Calm yourself, sir, for by God I am only joking." + +"Well, then, if you are joking I am not," replied Don Quixote. "Look +here, my lively gentleman, if these, instead of being fulling hammers, +had been some perilous adventure, have I not, think you, shown the +courage required for the attempt and achievement? Am I, perchance, being, +as I am, a gentleman, bound to know and distinguish sounds and tell +whether they come from fulling mills or not; and that, when perhaps, as +is the case, I have never in my life seen any as you have, low boor as +you are, that have been born and bred among them? But turn me these six +hammers into six giants, and bring them to beard me, one by one or all +together, and if I do not knock them head over heels, then make what +mockery you like of me." + +"No more of that, senor," returned Sancho; "I own I went a little too far +with the joke. But tell me, your worship, now that peace is made between +us (and may God bring you out of all the adventures that may befall you +as safe and sound as he has brought you out of this one), was it not a +thing to laugh at, and is it not a good story, the great fear we were +in?--at least that I was in; for as to your worship I see now that you +neither know nor understand what either fear or dismay is." + +"I do not deny," said Don Quixote, "that what happened to us may be worth +laughing at, but it is not worth making a story about, for it is not +everyone that is shrewd enough to hit the right point of a thing." + +"At any rate," said Sancho, "your worship knew how to hit the right point +with your pike, aiming at my head and hitting me on the shoulders, thanks +be to God and my own smartness in dodging it. But let that pass; all will +come out in the scouring; for I have heard say 'he loves thee well that +makes thee weep;' and moreover that it is the way with great lords after +any hard words they give a servant to give him a pair of breeches; though +I do not know what they give after blows, unless it be that +knights-errant after blows give islands, or kingdoms on the mainland." + +"It may be on the dice," said Don Quixote, "that all thou sayest will +come true; overlook the past, for thou art shrewd enough to know that our +first movements are not in our own control; and one thing for the future +bear in mind, that thou curb and restrain thy loquacity in my company; +for in all the books of chivalry that I have read, and they are +innumerable, I never met with a squire who talked so much to his lord as +thou dost to thine; and in fact I feel it to be a great fault of thine +and of mine: of thine, that thou hast so little respect for me; of mine, +that I do not make myself more respected. There was Gandalin, the squire +of Amadis of Gaul, that was Count of the Insula Firme, and we read of him +that he always addressed his lord with his cap in his hand, his head +bowed down and his body bent double, more turquesco. And then, what shall +we say of Gasabal, the squire of Galaor, who was so silent that in order +to indicate to us the greatness of his marvellous taciturnity his name is +only once mentioned in the whole of that history, as long as it is +truthful? From all I have said thou wilt gather, Sancho, that there must +be a difference between master and man, between lord and lackey, between +knight and squire: so that from this day forward in our intercourse we +must observe more respect and take less liberties, for in whatever way I +may be provoked with you it will be bad for the pitcher. The favours and +benefits that I have promised you will come in due time, and if they do +not your wages at least will not be lost, as I have already told you." + +"All that your worship says is very well," said Sancho, "but I should +like to know (in case the time of favours should not come, and it might +be necessary to fall back upon wages) how much did the squire of a +knight-errant get in those days, and did they agree by the month, or by +the day like bricklayers?" + +"I do not believe," replied Don Quixote, "that such squires were ever on +wages, but were dependent on favour; and if I have now mentioned thine in +the sealed will I have left at home, it was with a view to what may +happen; for as yet I know not how chivalry will turn out in these +wretched times of ours, and I do not wish my soul to suffer for trifles +in the other world; for I would have thee know, Sancho, that in this +there is no condition more hazardous than that of adventurers." + +"That is true," said Sancho, "since the mere noise of the hammers of a +fulling mill can disturb and disquiet the heart of such a valiant errant +adventurer as your worship; but you may be sure I will not open my lips +henceforward to make light of anything of your worship's, but only to +honour you as my master and natural lord." + +"By so doing," replied Don Quixote, "shalt thou live long on the face of +the earth; for next to parents, masters are to be respected as though +they were parents." + +Chapter XXI. - +Which treats of the exalted adventure and rich prize of Mambrino's +helmet, together with other things that happened to our invincible Knight + +It now began to rain a little, and Sancho was for going into the fulling +mills, but Don Quixote had taken such an abhorrence to them on account of +the late joke that he would not enter them on any account; so turning +aside to right they came upon another road, different from that which +they had taken the night before. Shortly afterwards Don Quixote perceived +a man on horseback who wore on his head something that shone like gold, +and the moment he saw him he turned to Sancho and said: + +"I think, Sancho, there is no proverb that is not true, all being maxims +drawn from experience itself, the mother of all the sciences, especially +that one that says, 'Where one door shuts, another opens.' I say so +because if last night fortune shut the door of the adventure we were +looking for against us, cheating us with the fulling mills, it now opens +wide another one for another better and more certain adventure, and if I +do not contrive to enter it, it will be my own fault, and I cannot lay it +to my ignorance of fulling mills, or the darkness of the night. I say +this because, if I mistake not, there comes towards us one who wears on +his head the helmet of Mambrino, concerning which I took the oath thou +rememberest." + +"Mind what you say, your worship, and still more what you do," said +Sancho, "for I don't want any more fulling mills to finish off fulling +and knocking our senses out." + +"The devil take thee, man," said Don Quixote; "what has a helmet to do +with fulling mills?" + +"I don't know," replied Sancho, "but, faith, if I might speak as I used, +perhaps I could give such reasons that your worship would see you were +mistaken in what you say." + +"How can I be mistaken in what I say, unbelieving traitor?" returned Don +Quixote; "tell me, seest thou not yonder knight coming towards us on a +dappled grey steed, who has upon his head a helmet of gold?" + +"What I see and make out," answered Sancho, "is only a man on a grey ass +like my own, who has something that shines on his head." + +"Well, that is the helmet of Mambrino," said Don Quixote; "stand to one +side and leave me alone with him; thou shalt see how, without saying a +word, to save time, I shall bring this adventure to an issue and possess +myself of the helmet I have so longed for." + +"I will take care to stand aside," said Sancho; "but God grant, I say +once more, that it may be marjoram and not fulling mills." + +"I have told thee, brother, on no account to mention those fulling mills +to me again," said Don Quixote, "or I vow--and I say no more-I'll full +the soul out of you." + +Sancho held his peace in dread lest his master should carry out the vow +he had hurled like a bowl at him. + +The fact of the matter as regards the helmet, steed, and knight that Don +Quixote saw, was this. In that neighbourhood there were two villages, one +of them so small that it had neither apothecary's shop nor barber, which +the other that was close to it had, so the barber of the larger served +the smaller, and in it there was a sick man who required to be bled and +another man who wanted to be shaved, and on this errand the barber was +going, carrying with him a brass basin; but as luck would have it, as he +was on the way it began to rain, and not to spoil his hat, which probably +was a new one, he put the basin on his head, and being clean it glittered +at half a league's distance. He rode upon a grey ass, as Sancho said, and +this was what made it seem to Don Quixote to be a dapple-grey steed and a +knight and a golden helmet; for everything he saw he made to fall in with +his crazy chivalry and ill-errant notions; and when he saw the poor +knight draw near, without entering into any parley with him, at +Rocinante's top speed he bore down upon him with the pike pointed low, +fully determined to run him through and through, and as he reached him, +without checking the fury of his charge, he cried to him: + +"Defend thyself, miserable being, or yield me of thine own accord that +which is so reasonably my due." + +The barber, who without any expectation or apprehension of it saw this +apparition coming down upon him, had no other way of saving himself from +the stroke of the lance but to let himself fall off his ass; and no +sooner had he touched the ground than he sprang up more nimbly than a +deer and sped away across the plain faster than the wind. + +He left the basin on the ground, with which Don Quixote contented +himself, saying that the pagan had shown his discretion and imitated the +beaver, which finding itself pressed by the hunters bites and cuts off +with its teeth that for which, by its natural instinct, it knows it is +pursued. + +He told Sancho to pick up the helmet, and he taking it in his hands said: + +"By God the basin is a good one, and worth a real of eight if it is worth +a maravedis," and handed it to his master, who immediately put it on his +head, turning it round, now this way, now that, in search of fitment, and +not finding it he said, "Clearly the pagan to whose measure this famous +head-piece was first forged must have had a very large head; but the +worst of it is half of it is wanting." + +When Sancho heard him call the basin a headpiece he was unable to +restrain his laughter, but remembering his master's wrath he checked +himself in the midst of it. + +"What art thou laughing at, Sancho?" said Don Quixote. + +"I am laughing," said he, "to think of the great head the pagan must have +had who owned this helmet, for it looks exactly like a regular barber's +basin." + +"Dost thou know what I suspect, Sancho?" said Don Quixote; "that this +wonderful piece of this enchanted helmet must by some strange accident +have come into the hands of some one who was unable to recognise or +realise its value, and who, not knowing what he did, and seeing it to be +of the purest gold, must have melted down one half for the sake of what +it might be worth, and of the other made this which is like a barber's +basin as thou sayest; but be it as it may, to me who recognise it, its +transformation makes no difference, for I will set it to rights at the +first village where there is a blacksmith, and in such style that that +helmet the god of smithies forged for the god of battles shall not +surpass it or even come up to it; and in the meantime I will wear it as +well as I can, for something is better than nothing; all the more as it +will be quite enough to protect me from any chance blow of a stone." + +"That is," said Sancho, "if it is not shot with a sling as they were in +the battle of the two armies, when they signed the cross on your +worship's grinders and smashed the flask with that blessed draught that +made me vomit my bowels up." + +"It does not grieve me much to have lost it," said Don Quixote, "for thou +knowest, Sancho, that I have the receipt in my memory." + +"So have I," answered Sancho, "but if ever I make it, or try it again as +long as I live, may this be my last hour; moreover, I have no intention +of putting myself in the way of wanting it, for I mean, with all my five +senses, to keep myself from being wounded or from wounding anyone: as to +being blanketed again I say nothing, for it is hard to prevent mishaps of +that sort, and if they come there is nothing for it but to squeeze our +shoulders together, hold our breath, shut our eyes, and let ourselves go +where luck and the blanket may send us." + +"Thou art a bad Christian, Sancho," said Don Quixote on hearing this, +"for once an injury has been done thee thou never forgettest it: but know +that it is the part of noble and generous hearts not to attach importance +to trifles. What lame leg hast thou got by it, what broken rib, what +cracked head, that thou canst not forget that jest? For jest and sport it +was, properly regarded, and had I not seen it in that light I would have +returned and done more mischief in revenging thee than the Greeks did for +the rape of Helen, who, if she were alive now, or if my Dulcinea had +lived then, might depend upon it she would not be so famous for her +beauty as she is;" and here he heaved a sigh and sent it aloft; and said +Sancho, "Let it pass for a jest as it cannot be revenged in earnest, but +I know what sort of jest and earnest it was, and I know it will never be +rubbed out of my memory any more than off my shoulders. But putting that +aside, will your worship tell me what are we to do with this dapple-grey +steed that looks like a grey ass, which that Martino that your worship +overthrew has left deserted here? for, from the way he took to his heels +and bolted, he is not likely ever to come back for it; and by my beard +but the grey is a good one." + +"I have never been in the habit," said Don Quixote, "of taking spoil of +those whom I vanquish, nor is it the practice of chivalry to take away +their horses and leave them to go on foot, unless indeed it be that the +victor have lost his own in the combat, in which case it is lawful to +take that of the vanquished as a thing won in lawful war; therefore, +Sancho, leave this horse, or ass, or whatever thou wilt have it to be; +for when its owner sees us gone hence he will come back for it." + +"God knows I should like to take it," returned Sancho, "or at least to +change it for my own, which does not seem to me as good a one: verily the +laws of chivalry are strict, since they cannot be stretched to let one +ass be changed for another; I should like to know if I might at least +change trappings." + +"On that head I am not quite certain," answered Don Quixote, "and the +matter being doubtful, pending better information, I say thou mayest +change them, if so be thou hast urgent need of them." + +"So urgent is it," answered Sancho, "that if they were for my own person +I could not want them more;" and forthwith, fortified by this licence, he +effected the mutatio capparum, rigging out his beast to the ninety-nines +and making quite another thing of it. This done, they broke their fast on +the remains of the spoils of war plundered from the sumpter mule, and +drank of the brook that flowed from the fulling mills, without casting a +look in that direction, in such loathing did they hold them for the alarm +they had caused them; and, all anger and gloom removed, they mounted and, +without taking any fixed road (not to fix upon any being the proper thing +for true knights-errant), they set out, guided by Rocinante's will, which +carried along with it that of his master, not to say that of the ass, +which always followed him wherever he led, lovingly and sociably; +nevertheless they returned to the high road, and pursued it at a venture +without any other aim. + +As they went along, then, in this way Sancho said to his master, "Senor, +would your worship give me leave to speak a little to you? For since you +laid that hard injunction of silence on me several things have gone to +rot in my stomach, and I have now just one on the tip of my tongue that I +don't want to be spoiled." + +"Say, on, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "and be brief in thy discourse, for +there is no pleasure in one that is long." + +"Well then, senor," returned Sancho, "I say that for some days past I +have been considering how little is got or gained by going in search of +these adventures that your worship seeks in these wilds and cross-roads, +where, even if the most perilous are victoriously achieved, there is no +one to see or know of them, and so they must be left untold for ever, to +the loss of your worship's object and the credit they deserve; therefore +it seems to me it would be better (saving your worship's better judgment) +if we were to go and serve some emperor or other great prince who may +have some war on hand, in whose service your worship may prove the worth +of your person, your great might, and greater understanding, on +perceiving which the lord in whose service we may be will perforce have +to reward us, each according to his merits; and there you will not be at +a loss for some one to set down your achievements in writing so as to +preserve their memory for ever. Of my own I say nothing, as they will not +go beyond squirely limits, though I make bold to say that, if it be the +practice in chivalry to write the achievements of squires, I think mine +must not be left out." + +"Thou speakest not amiss, Sancho," answered Don Quixote, "but before that +point is reached it is requisite to roam the world, as it were on +probation, seeking adventures, in order that, by achieving some, name and +fame may be acquired, such that when he betakes himself to the court of +some great monarch the knight may be already known by his deeds, and that +the boys, the instant they see him enter the gate of the city, may all +follow him and surround him, crying, 'This is the Knight of the Sun'-or +the Serpent, or any other title under which he may have achieved great +deeds. 'This,' they will say, 'is he who vanquished in single combat the +gigantic Brocabruno of mighty strength; he who delivered the great +Mameluke of Persia out of the long enchantment under which he had been +for almost nine hundred years.' So from one to another they will go +proclaiming his achievements; and presently at the tumult of the boys and +the others the king of that kingdom will appear at the windows of his +royal palace, and as soon as he beholds the knight, recognising him by +his arms and the device on his shield, he will as a matter of course say, +'What ho! Forth all ye, the knights of my court, to receive the flower of +chivalry who cometh hither!' At which command all will issue forth, and +he himself, advancing half-way down the stairs, will embrace him closely, +and salute him, kissing him on the cheek, and will then lead him to the +queen's chamber, where the knight will find her with the princess her +daughter, who will be one of the most beautiful and accomplished damsels +that could with the utmost pains be discovered anywhere in the known +world. Straightway it will come to pass that she will fix her eyes upon +the knight and he his upon her, and each will seem to the other something +more divine than human, and, without knowing how or why they will be +taken and entangled in the inextricable toils of love, and sorely +distressed in their hearts not to see any way of making their pains and +sufferings known by speech. Thence they will lead him, no doubt, to some +richly adorned chamber of the palace, where, having removed his armour, +they will bring him a rich mantle of scarlet wherewith to robe himself, +and if he looked noble in his armour he will look still more so in a +doublet. When night comes he will sup with the king, queen, and princess; +and all the time he will never take his eyes off her, stealing stealthy +glances, unnoticed by those present, and she will do the same, and with +equal cautiousness, being, as I have said, a damsel of great discretion. +The tables being removed, suddenly through the door of the hall there +will enter a hideous and diminutive dwarf followed by a fair dame, +between two giants, who comes with a certain adventure, the work of an +ancient sage; and he who shall achieve it shall be deemed the best knight +in the world. + +"The king will then command all those present to essay it, and none will +bring it to an end and conclusion save the stranger knight, to the great +enhancement of his fame, whereat the princess will be overjoyed and will +esteem herself happy and fortunate in having fixed and placed her +thoughts so high. And the best of it is that this king, or prince, or +whatever he is, is engaged in a very bitter war with another as powerful +as himself, and the stranger knight, after having been some days at his +court, requests leave from him to go and serve him in the said war. The +king will grant it very readily, and the knight will courteously kiss his +hands for the favour done to him; and that night he will take leave of +his lady the princess at the grating of the chamber where she sleeps, +which looks upon a garden, and at which he has already many times +conversed with her, the go-between and confidante in the matter being a +damsel much trusted by the princess. He will sigh, she will swoon, the +damsel will fetch water, much distressed because morning approaches, and +for the honour of her lady he would not that they were discovered; at +last the princess will come to herself and will present her white hands +through the grating to the knight, who will kiss them a thousand and a +thousand times, bathing them with his tears. It will be arranged between +them how they are to inform each other of their good or evil fortunes, +and the princess will entreat him to make his absence as short as +possible, which he will promise to do with many oaths; once more he +kisses her hands, and takes his leave in such grief that he is well-nigh +ready to die. He betakes him thence to his chamber, flings himself on his +bed, cannot sleep for sorrow at parting, rises early in the morning, goes +to take leave of the king, queen, and princess, and, as he takes his +leave of the pair, it is told him that the princess is indisposed and +cannot receive a visit; the knight thinks it is from grief at his +departure, his heart is pierced, and he is hardly able to keep from +showing his pain. The confidante is present, observes all, goes to tell +her mistress, who listens with tears and says that one of her greatest +distresses is not knowing who this knight is, and whether he is of kingly +lineage or not; the damsel assures her that so much courtesy, gentleness, +and gallantry of bearing as her knight possesses could not exist in any +save one who was royal and illustrious; her anxiety is thus relieved, and +she strives to be of good cheer lest she should excite suspicion in her +parents, and at the end of two days she appears in public. Meanwhile the +knight has taken his departure; he fights in the war, conquers the king's +enemy, wins many cities, triumphs in many battles, returns to the court, +sees his lady where he was wont to see her, and it is agreed that he +shall demand her in marriage of her parents as the reward of his +services; the king is unwilling to give her, as he knows not who he is, +but nevertheless, whether carried off or in whatever other way it may be, +the princess comes to be his bride, and her father comes to regard it as +very good fortune; for it so happens that this knight is proved to be the +son of a valiant king of some kingdom, I know not what, for I fancy it is +not likely to be on the map. The father dies, the princess inherits, and +in two words the knight becomes king. And here comes in at once the +bestowal of rewards upon his squire and all who have aided him in rising +to so exalted a rank. He marries his squire to a damsel of the +princess's, who will be, no doubt, the one who was confidante in their +amour, and is daughter of a very great duke." + +"That's what I want, and no mistake about it!" said Sancho. "That's what +I'm waiting for; for all this, word for word, is in store for your +worship under the title of the Knight of the Rueful Countenance." + +"Thou needst not doubt it, Sancho," replied Don Quixote, "for in the same +manner, and by the same steps as I have described here, knights-errant +rise and have risen to be kings and emperors; all we want now is to find +out what king, Christian or pagan, is at war and has a beautiful +daughter; but there will be time enough to think of that, for, as I have +told thee, fame must be won in other quarters before repairing to the +court. There is another thing, too, that is wanting; for supposing we +find a king who is at war and has a beautiful daughter, and that I have +won incredible fame throughout the universe, I know not how it can be +made out that I am of royal lineage, or even second cousin to an emperor; +for the king will not be willing to give me his daughter in marriage +unless he is first thoroughly satisfied on this point, however much my +famous deeds may deserve it; so that by this deficiency I fear I shall +lose what my arm has fairly earned. True it is I am a gentleman of known +house, of estate and property, and entitled to the five hundred sueldos +mulct; and it may be that the sage who shall write my history will so +clear up my ancestry and pedigree that I may find myself fifth or sixth +in descent from a king; for I would have thee know, Sancho, that there +are two kinds of lineages in the world; some there be tracing and +deriving their descent from kings and princes, whom time has reduced +little by little until they end in a point like a pyramid upside down; +and others who spring from the common herd and go on rising step by step +until they come to be great lords; so that the difference is that the one +were what they no longer are, and the others are what they formerly were +not. And I may be of such that after investigation my origin may prove +great and famous, with which the king, my father-in-law that is to be, +ought to be satisfied; and should he not be, the princess will so love me +that even though she well knew me to be the son of a water-carrier, she +will take me for her lord and husband in spite of her father; if not, +then it comes to seizing her and carrying her off where I please; for +time or death will put an end to the wrath of her parents." + +"It comes to this, too," said Sancho, "what some naughty people say, +'Never ask as a favour what thou canst take by force;' though it would +fit better to say, 'A clear escape is better than good men's prayers.' I +say so because if my lord the king, your worship's father-in-law, will +not condescend to give you my lady the princess, there is nothing for it +but, as your worship says, to seize her and transport her. But the +mischief is that until peace is made and you come into the peaceful +enjoyment of your kingdom, the poor squire is famishing as far as rewards +go, unless it be that the confidante damsel that is to be his wife comes +with the princess, and that with her he tides over his bad luck until +Heaven otherwise orders things; for his master, I suppose, may as well +give her to him at once for a lawful wife." + +"Nobody can object to that," said Don Quixote. + +"Then since that may be," said Sancho, "there is nothing for it but to +commend ourselves to God, and let fortune take what course it will." + +"God guide it according to my wishes and thy wants," said Don Quixote, +"and mean be he who thinks himself mean." + +"In God's name let him be so," said Sancho: "I am an old Christian, and +to fit me for a count that's enough." + +"And more than enough for thee," said Don Quixote; "and even wert thou +not, it would make no difference, because I being the king can easily +give thee nobility without purchase or service rendered by thee, for when +I make thee a count, then thou art at once a gentleman; and they may say +what they will, but by my faith they will have to call thee 'your +lordship,' whether they like it or not." + +"Not a doubt of it; and I'll know how to support the tittle," said +Sancho. + +"Title thou shouldst say, not tittle," said his master. + +"So be it," answered Sancho. "I say I will know how to behave, for once +in my life I was beadle of a brotherhood, and the beadle's gown sat so +well on me that all said I looked as if I was to be steward of the same +brotherhood. What will it be, then, when I put a duke's robe on my back, +or dress myself in gold and pearls like a count? I believe they'll come a +hundred leagues to see me." + +"Thou wilt look well," said Don Quixote, "but thou must shave thy beard +often, for thou hast it so thick and rough and unkempt, that if thou dost +not shave it every second day at least, they will see what thou art at +the distance of a musket shot." + +"What more will it be," said Sancho, "than having a barber, and keeping +him at wages in the house? and even if it be necessary, I will make him +go behind me like a nobleman's equerry." + +"Why, how dost thou know that noblemen have equerries behind them?" asked +Don Quixote. + +"I will tell you," answered Sancho. "Years ago I was for a month at the +capital and there I saw taking the air a very small gentleman who they +said was a very great man, and a man following him on horseback in every +turn he took, just as if he was his tail. I asked why this man did not +join the other man, instead of always going behind him; they answered me +that he was his equerry, and that it was the custom with nobles to have +such persons behind them, and ever since then I know it, for I have never +forgotten it." + +"Thou art right," said Don Quixote, "and in the same way thou mayest +carry thy barber with thee, for customs did not come into use all +together, nor were they all invented at once, and thou mayest be the +first count to have a barber to follow him; and, indeed, shaving one's +beard is a greater trust than saddling one's horse." + +"Let the barber business be my look-out," said Sancho; "and your +worship's be it to strive to become a king, and make me a count." + +"So it shall be," answered Don Quixote, and raising his eyes he saw what +will be told in the following chapter. + +Chapter XXII. - +Of the freedom Don Quixote conferred on several unfortunates who against +their will were being carried where they had no wish to go + +Cide Hamete Benengeli, the Arab and Manchegan author, relates in this +most grave, high-sounding, minute, delightful, and original history that +after the discussion between the famous Don Quixote of La Mancha and his +squire Sancho Panza which is set down at the end of chapter twenty-one, +Don Quixote raised his eyes and saw coming along the road he was +following some dozen men on foot strung together by the neck, like beads, +on a great iron chain, and all with manacles on their hands. With them +there came also two men on horseback and two on foot; those on horseback +with wheel-lock muskets, those on foot with javelins and swords, and as +soon as Sancho saw them he said: + +"That is a chain of galley slaves, on the way to the galleys by force of +the king's orders." + +"How by force?" asked Don Quixote; "is it possible that the king uses +force against anyone?" + +"I do not say that," answered Sancho, "but that these are people +condemned for their crimes to serve by force in the king's galleys." + +"In fact," replied Don Quixote, "however it may be, these people are +going where they are taking them by force, and not of their own will." + +"Just so," said Sancho. + +"Then if so," said Don Quixote, "here is a case for the exercise of my +office, to put down force and to succour and help the wretched." + +"Recollect, your worship," said Sancho, "Justice, which is the king +himself, is not using force or doing wrong to such persons, but punishing +them for their crimes." + +The chain of galley slaves had by this time come up, and Don Quixote in +very courteous language asked those who were in custody of it to be good +enough to tell him the reason or reasons for which they were conducting +these people in this manner. One of the guards on horseback answered that +they were galley slaves belonging to his majesty, that they were going to +the galleys, and that was all that was to be said and all he had any +business to know. + +"Nevertheless," replied Don Quixote, "I should like to know from each of +them separately the reason of his misfortune;" to this he added more to +the same effect to induce them to tell him what he wanted so civilly that +the other mounted guard said to him: + +"Though we have here the register and certificate of the sentence of +every one of these wretches, this is no time to take them out or read +them; come and ask themselves; they can tell if they choose, and they +will, for these fellows take a pleasure in doing and talking about +rascalities." + +With this permission, which Don Quixote would have taken even had they +not granted it, he approached the chain and asked the first for what +offences he was now in such a sorry case. + +He made answer that it was for being a lover. + +"For that only?" replied Don Quixote; "why, if for being lovers they send +people to the galleys I might have been rowing in them long ago." + +"The love is not the sort your worship is thinking of," said the galley +slave; "mine was that I loved a washerwoman's basket of clean linen so +well, and held it so close in my embrace, that if the arm of the law had +not forced it from me, I should never have let it go of my own will to +this moment; I was caught in the act, there was no occasion for torture, +the case was settled, they treated me to a hundred lashes on the back, +and three years of gurapas besides, and that was the end of it." + +"What are gurapas?" asked Don Quixote. + +"Gurapas are galleys," answered the galley slave, who was a young man of +about four-and-twenty, and said he was a native of Piedrahita. + +Don Quixote asked the same question of the second, who made no reply, so +downcast and melancholy was he; but the first answered for him, and said, +"He, sir, goes as a canary, I mean as a musician and a singer." + +"What!" said Don Quixote, "for being musicians and singers are people +sent to the galleys too?" + +"Yes, sir," answered the galley slave, "for there is nothing worse than +singing under suffering." + +"On the contrary, I have heard say," said Don Quixote, "that he who sings +scares away his woes." + +"Here it is the reverse," said the galley slave; "for he who sings once +weeps all his life." + +"I do not understand it," said Don Quixote; but one of the guards said to +him, "Sir, to sing under suffering means with the non sancta fraternity +to confess under torture; they put this sinner to the torture and he +confessed his crime, which was being a cuatrero, that is a +cattle-stealer, and on his confession they sentenced him to six years in +the galleys, besides two bundred lashes that he has already had on the +back; and he is always dejected and downcast because the other thieves +that were left behind and that march here ill-treat, and snub, and jeer, +and despise him for confessing and not having spirit enough to say nay; +for, say they, 'nay' has no more letters in it than 'yea,' and a culprit +is well off when life or death with him depends on his own tongue and not +on that of witnesses or evidence; and to my thinking they are not very +far out." + +"And I think so too," answered Don Quixote; then passing on to the third +he asked him what he had asked the others, and the man answered very +readily and unconcernedly, "I am going for five years to their ladyships +the gurapas for the want of ten ducats." + +"I will give twenty with pleasure to get you out of that trouble," said +Don Quixote. + +"That," said the galley slave, "is like a man having money at sea when he +is dying of hunger and has no way of buying what he wants; I say so +because if at the right time I had had those twenty ducats that your +worship now offers me, I would have greased the notary's pen and +freshened up the attorney's wit with them, so that to-day I should be in +the middle of the plaza of the Zocodover at Toledo, and not on this road +coupled like a greyhound. But God is great; patience--there, that's +enough of it." + +Don Quixote passed on to the fourth, a man of venerable aspect with a +white beard falling below his breast, who on hearing himself asked the +reason of his being there began to weep without answering a word, but the +fifth acted as his tongue and said, "This worthy man is going to the +galleys for four years, after having gone the rounds in ceremony and on +horseback." + +"That means," said Sancho Panza, "as I take it, to have been exposed to +shame in public." + +"Just so," replied the galley slave, "and the offence for which they gave +him that punishment was having been an ear-broker, nay body-broker; I +mean, in short, that this gentleman goes as a pimp, and for having +besides a certain touch of the sorcerer about him." + +"If that touch had not been thrown in," said Don Quixote, "he would not +deserve, for mere pimping, to row in the galleys, but rather to command +and be admiral of them; for the office of pimp is no ordinary one, being +the office of persons of discretion, one very necessary in a well-ordered +state, and only to be exercised by persons of good birth; nay, there +ought to be an inspector and overseer of them, as in other offices, and +recognised number, as with the brokers on change; in this way many of the +evils would be avoided which are caused by this office and calling being +in the hands of stupid and ignorant people, such as women more or less +silly, and pages and jesters of little standing and experience, who on +the most urgent occasions, and when ingenuity of contrivance is needed, +let the crumbs freeze on the way to their mouths, and know not which is +their right hand. I should like to go farther, and give reasons to show +that it is advisable to choose those who are to hold so necessary an +office in the state, but this is not the fit place for it; some day I +will expound the matter to some one able to see to and rectify it; all I +say now is, that the additional fact of his being a sorcerer has removed +the sorrow it gave me to see these white hairs and this venerable +countenance in so painful a position on account of his being a pimp; +though I know well there are no sorceries in the world that can move or +compel the will as some simple folk fancy, for our will is free, nor is +there herb or charm that can force it. All that certain silly women and +quacks do is to turn men mad with potions and poisons, pretending that +they have power to cause love, for, as I say, it is an impossibility to +compel the will." + +"It is true," said the good old man, "and indeed, sir, as far as the +charge of sorcery goes I was not guilty; as to that of being a pimp I +cannot deny it; but I never thought I was doing any harm by it, for my +only object was that all the world should enjoy itself and live in peace +and quiet, without quarrels or troubles; but my good intentions were +unavailing to save me from going where I never expect to come back from, +with this weight of years upon me and a urinary ailment that never gives +me a moment's ease;" and again he fell to weeping as before, and such +compassion did Sancho feel for him that he took out a real of four from +his bosom and gave it to him in alms. + +Don Quixote went on and asked another what his crime was, and the man +answered with no less but rather much more sprightliness than the last +one. + +"I am here because I carried the joke too far with a couple of cousins of +mine, and with a couple of other cousins who were none of mine; in short, +I carried the joke so far with them all that it ended in such a +complicated increase of kindred that no accountant could make it clear: +it was all proved against me, I got no favour, I had no money, I was near +having my neck stretched, they sentenced me to the galleys for six years, +I accepted my fate, it is the punishment of my fault; I am a young man; +let life only last, and with that all will come right. If you, sir, have +anything wherewith to help the poor, God will repay it to you in heaven, +and we on earth will take care in our petitions to him to pray for the +life and health of your worship, that they may be as long and as good as +your amiable appearance deserves." + +This one was in the dress of a student, and one of the guards said he was +a great talker and a very elegant Latin scholar. + +Behind all these there came a man of thirty, a very personable fellow, +except that when he looked, his eyes turned in a little one towards the +other. He was bound differently from the rest, for he had to his leg a +chain so long that it was wound all round his body, and two rings on his +neck, one attached to the chain, the other to what they call a +"keep-friend" or "friend's foot," from which hung two irons reaching to +his waist with two manacles fixed to them in which his hands were secured +by a big padlock, so that he could neither raise his hands to his mouth +nor lower his head to his hands. Don Quixote asked why this man carried +so many more chains than the others. The guard replied that it was +because he alone had committed more crimes than all the rest put +together, and was so daring and such a villain, that though they marched +him in that fashion they did not feel sure of him, but were in dread of +his making his escape. + +"What crimes can he have committed," said Don Quixote, "if they have not +deserved a heavier punishment than being sent to the galleys?" + +"He goes for ten years," replied the guard, "which is the same thing as +civil death, and all that need be said is that this good fellow is the +famous Gines de Pasamonte, otherwise called Ginesillo de Parapilla." + +"Gently, senor commissary," said the galley slave at this, "let us have +no fixing of names or surnames; my name is Gines, not Ginesillo, and my +family name is Pasamonte, not Parapilla as you say; let each one mind his +own business, and he will be doing enough." + +"Speak with less impertinence, master thief of extra measure," replied +the commissary, "if you don't want me to make you hold your tongue in +spite of your teeth." + +"It is easy to see," returned the galley slave, "that man goes as God +pleases, but some one shall know some day whether I am called Ginesillo +de Parapilla or not." + +"Don't they call you so, you liar?" said the guard. + +"They do," returned Gines, "but I will make them give over calling me so, +or I will be shaved, where, I only say behind my teeth. If you, sir, have +anything to give us, give it to us at once, and God speed you, for you +are becoming tiresome with all this inquisitiveness about the lives of +others; if you want to know about mine, let me tell you I am Gines de +Pasamonte, whose life is written by these fingers." + +"He says true," said the commissary, "for he has himself written his +story as grand as you please, and has left the book in the prison in pawn +for two hundred reals." + +"And I mean to take it out of pawn," said Gines, "though it were in for +two hundred ducats." + +"Is it so good?" said Don Quixote. + +"So good is it," replied Gines, "that a fig for 'Lazarillo de Tormes,' +and all of that kind that have been written, or shall be written compared +with it: all I will say about it is that it deals with facts, and facts +so neat and diverting that no lies could match them." + +"And how is the book entitled?" asked Don Quixote. + +"The 'Life of Gines de Pasamonte,'" replied the subject of it. + +"And is it finished?" asked Don Quixote. + +"How can it be finished," said the other, "when my life is not yet +finished? All that is written is from my birth down to the point when +they sent me to the galleys this last time." + +"Then you have been there before?" said Don Quixote. + +"In the service of God and the king I have been there for four years +before now, and I know by this time what the biscuit and courbash are +like," replied Gines; "and it is no great grievance to me to go back to +them, for there I shall have time to finish my book; I have still many +things left to say, and in the galleys of Spain there is more than enough +leisure; though I do not want much for what I have to write, for I have +it by heart." + +"You seem a clever fellow," said Don Quixote. + +"And an unfortunate one," replied Gines, "for misfortune always +persecutes good wit." + +"It persecutes rogues," said the commissary. + +"I told you already to go gently, master commissary," said Pasamonte; +"their lordships yonder never gave you that staff to ill-treat us +wretches here, but to conduct and take us where his majesty orders you; +if not, by the life of-never mind-; it may be that some day the stains +made in the inn will come out in the scouring; let everyone hold his +tongue and behave well and speak better; and now let us march on, for we +have had quite enough of this entertainment." + +The commissary lifted his staff to strike Pasamonte in return for his +threats, but Don Quixote came between them, and begged him not to ill-use +him, as it was not too much to allow one who had his hands tied to have +his tongue a trifle free; and turning to the whole chain of them he said: + +"From all you have told me, dear brethren, make out clearly that though +they have punished you for your faults, the punishments you are about to +endure do not give you much pleasure, and that you go to them very much +against the grain and against your will, and that perhaps this one's want +of courage under torture, that one's want of money, the other's want of +advocacy, and lastly the perverted judgment of the judge may have been +the cause of your ruin and of your failure to obtain the justice you had +on your side. All which presents itself now to my mind, urging, +persuading, and even compelling me to demonstrate in your case the +purpose for which Heaven sent me into the world and caused me to make +profession of the order of chivalry to which I belong, and the vow I took +therein to give aid to those in need and under the oppression of the +strong. But as I know that it is a mark of prudence not to do by foul +means what may be done by fair, I will ask these gentlemen, the guards +and commissary, to be so good as to release you and let you go in peace, +as there will be no lack of others to serve the king under more +favourable circumstances; for it seems to me a hard case to make slaves +of those whom God and nature have made free. Moreover, sirs of the +guard," added Don Quixote, "these poor fellows have done nothing to you; +let each answer for his own sins yonder; there is a God in Heaven who +will not forget to punish the wicked or reward the good; and it is not +fitting that honest men should be the instruments of punishment to +others, they being therein no way concerned. This request I make thus +gently and quietly, that, if you comply with it, I may have reason for +thanking you; and, if you will not voluntarily, this lance and sword +together with the might of my arm shall compel you to comply with it by +force." + +"Nice nonsense!" said the commissary; "a fine piece of pleasantry he has +come out with at last! He wants us to let the king's prisoners go, as if +we had any authority to release them, or he to order us to do so! Go your +way, sir, and good luck to you; put that basin straight that you've got +on your head, and don't go looking for three feet on a cat." + +"'Tis you that are the cat, rat, and rascal," replied Don Quixote, and +acting on the word he fell upon him so suddenly that without giving him +time to defend himself he brought him to the ground sorely wounded with a +lance-thrust; and lucky it was for him that it was the one that had the +musket. The other guards stood thunderstruck and amazed at this +unexpected event, but recovering presence of mind, those on horseback +seized their swords, and those on foot their javelins, and attacked Don +Quixote, who was waiting for them with great calmness; and no doubt it +would have gone badly with him if the galley slaves, seeing the chance +before them of liberating themselves, had not effected it by contriving +to break the chain on which they were strung. Such was the confusion, +that the guards, now rushing at the galley slaves who were breaking +loose, now to attack Don Quixote who was waiting for them, did nothing at +all that was of any use. Sancho, on his part, gave a helping hand to +release Gines de Pasamonte, who was the first to leap forth upon the +plain free and unfettered, and who, attacking the prostrate commissary, +took from him his sword and the musket, with which, aiming at one and +levelling at another, he, without ever discharging it, drove every one of +the guards off the field, for they took to flight, as well to escape +Pasamonte's musket, as the showers of stones the now released galley +slaves were raining upon them. Sancho was greatly grieved at the affair, +because he anticipated that those who had fled would report the matter to +the Holy Brotherhood, who at the summons of the alarm-bell would at once +sally forth in quest of the offenders; and he said so to his master, and +entreated him to leave the place at once, and go into hiding in the +sierra that was close by. + +"That is all very well," said Don Quixote, "but I know what must be done +now;" and calling together all the galley slaves, who were now running +riot, and had stripped the commissary to the skin, he collected them +round him to hear what he had to say, and addressed them as follows: "To +be grateful for benefits received is the part of persons of good birth, +and one of the sins most offensive to God is ingratitude; I say so +because, sirs, ye have already seen by manifest proof the benefit ye have +received of me; in return for which I desire, and it is my good pleasure +that, laden with that chain which I have taken off your necks, ye at once +set out and proceed to the city of El Toboso, and there present +yourselves before the lady Dulcinea del Toboso, and say to her that her +knight, he of the Rueful Countenance, sends to commend himself to her; +and that ye recount to her in full detail all the particulars of this +notable adventure, up to the recovery of your longed-for liberty; and +this done ye may go where ye will, and good fortune attend you." + +Gines de Pasamonte made answer for all, saying, "That which you, sir, our +deliverer, demand of us, is of all impossibilities the most impossible to +comply with, because we cannot go together along the roads, but only +singly and separate, and each one his own way, endeavouring to hide +ourselves in the bowels of the earth to escape the Holy Brotherhood, +which, no doubt, will come out in search of us. What your worship may do, +and fairly do, is to change this service and tribute as regards the lady +Dulcinea del Toboso for a certain quantity of ave-marias and credos which +we will say for your worship's intention, and this is a condition that +can be complied with by night as by day, running or resting, in peace or +in war; but to imagine that we are going now to return to the flesh-pots +of Egypt, I mean to take up our chain and set out for El Toboso, is to +imagine that it is now night, though it is not yet ten in the morning, +and to ask this of us is like asking pears of the elm tree." + +"Then by all that's good," said Don Quixote (now stirred to wrath), "Don +son of a bitch, Don Ginesillo de Paropillo, or whatever your name is, you +will have to go yourself alone, with your tail between your legs and the +whole chain on your back." + +Pasamonte, who was anything but meek (being by this time thoroughly +convinced that Don Quixote was not quite right in his head as he had +committed such a vagary as to set them free), finding himself abused in +this fashion, gave the wink to his companions, and falling back they +began to shower stones on Don Quixote at such a rate that he was quite +unable to protect himself with his buckler, and poor Rocinante no more +heeded the spur than if he had been made of brass. Sancho planted himself +behind his ass, and with him sheltered himself from the hailstorm that +poured on both of them. Don Quixote was unable to shield himself so well +but that more pebbles than I could count struck him full on the body with +such force that they brought him to the ground; and the instant he fell +the student pounced upon him, snatched the basin from his head, and with +it struck three or four blows on his shoulders, and as many more on the +ground, knocking it almost to pieces. They then stripped him of a jacket +that he wore over his armour, and they would have stripped off his +stockings if his greaves had not prevented them. From Sancho they took +his coat, leaving him in his shirt-sleeves; and dividing among themselves +the remaining spoils of the battle, they went each one his own way, more +solicitous about keeping clear of the Holy Brotherhood they dreaded, than +about burdening themselves with the chain, or going to present themselves +before the lady Dulcinea del Toboso. The ass and Rocinante, Sancho and +Don Quixote, were all that were left upon the spot; the ass with drooping +head, serious, shaking his ears from time to time as if he thought the +storm of stones that assailed them was not yet over; Rocinante stretched +beside his master, for he too had been brought to the ground by a stone; +Sancho stripped, and trembling with fear of the Holy Brotherhood; and Don +Quixote fuming to find himself so served by the very persons for whom he +had done so much. + +Chapter XXIII. - +Of what befell Don Quixote in the Sierra Morena, which was one of the +rarest adventures related in this veracious history + +Seeing himself served in this way, Don Quixote said to his squire, "I +have always heard it said, Sancho, that to do good to boors is to throw +water into the sea. If I had believed thy words, I should have avoided +this trouble; but it is done now, it is only to have patience and take +warning for the future." + +"Your worship will take warning as much as I am a Turk," returned Sancho; +"but, as you say this mischief might have been avoided if you had +believed me, believe me now, and a still greater one will be avoided; for +I tell you chivalry is of no account with the Holy Brotherhood, and they +don't care two maravedis for all the knights-errant in the world; and I +can tell you I fancy I hear their arrows whistling past my ears this +minute." + +"Thou art a coward by nature, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "but lest thou +shouldst say I am obstinate, and that I never do as thou dost advise, +this once I will take thy advice, and withdraw out of reach of that fury +thou so dreadest; but it must be on one condition, that never, in life or +in death, thou art to say to anyone that I retired or withdrew from this +danger out of fear, but only in compliance with thy entreaties; for if +thou sayest otherwise thou wilt lie therein, and from this time to that, +and from that to this, I give thee lie, and say thou liest and wilt lie +every time thou thinkest or sayest it; and answer me not again; for at +the mere thought that I am withdrawing or retiring from any danger, above +all from this, which does seem to carry some little shadow of fear with +it, I am ready to take my stand here and await alone, not only that Holy +Brotherhood you talk of and dread, but the brothers of the twelve tribes +of Israel, and the Seven Maccabees, and Castor and Pollux, and all the +brothers and brotherhoods in the world." + +"Senor," replied Sancho, "to retire is not to flee, and there is no +wisdom in waiting when danger outweighs hope, and it is the part of wise +men to preserve themselves to-day for to-morrow, and not risk all in one +day; and let me tell you, though I am a clown and a boor, I have got some +notion of what they call safe conduct; so repent not of having taken my +advice, but mount Rocinante if you can, and if not I will help you; and +follow me, for my mother-wit tells me we have more need of legs than +hands just now." + +Don Quixote mounted without replying, and, Sancho leading the way on his +ass, they entered the side of the Sierra Morena, which was close by, as +it was Sancho's design to cross it entirely and come out again at El Viso +or Almodovar del Campo, and hide for some days among its crags so as to +escape the search of the Brotherhood should they come to look for them. +He was encouraged in this by perceiving that the stock of provisions +carried by the ass had come safe out of the fray with the galley slaves, +a circumstance that he regarded as a miracle, seeing how they pillaged +and ransacked. + +That night they reached the very heart of the Sierra Morena, where it +seemed prudent to Sancho to pass the night and even some days, at least +as many as the stores he carried might last, and so they encamped between +two rocks and among some cork trees; but fatal destiny, which, according +to the opinion of those who have not the light of the true faith, +directs, arranges, and settles everything in its own way, so ordered it +that Gines de Pasamonte, the famous knave and thief who by the virtue and +madness of Don Quixote had been released from the chain, driven by fear +of the Holy Brotherhood, which he had good reason to dread, resolved to +take hiding in the mountains; and his fate and fear led him to the same +spot to which Don Quixote and Sancho Panza had been led by theirs, just +in time to recognise them and leave them to fall asleep: and as the +wicked are always ungrateful, and necessity leads to evildoing, and +immediate advantage overcomes all considerations of the future, Gines, +who was neither grateful nor well-principled, made up his mind to steal +Sancho Panza's ass, not troubling himself about Rocinante, as being a +prize that was no good either to pledge or sell. While Sancho slept he +stole his ass, and before day dawned he was far out of reach. + +Aurora made her appearance bringing gladness to the earth but sadness to +Sancho Panza, for he found that his Dapple was missing, and seeing +himself bereft of him he began the saddest and most doleful lament in the +world, so loud that Don Quixote awoke at his exclamations and heard him +saying, "O son of my bowels, born in my very house, my children's +plaything, my wife's joy, the envy of my neighbours, relief of my +burdens, and lastly, half supporter of myself, for with the +six-and-twenty maravedis thou didst earn me daily I met half my charges." + +Don Quixote, when he heard the lament and learned the cause, consoled +Sancho with the best arguments he could, entreating him to be patient, +and promising to give him a letter of exchange ordering three out of five +ass-colts that he had at home to be given to him. Sancho took comfort at +this, dried his tears, suppressed his sobs, and returned thanks for the +kindness shown him by Don Quixote. He on his part was rejoiced to the +heart on entering the mountains, as they seemed to him to be just the +place for the adventures he was in quest of. They brought back to his +memory the marvellous adventures that had befallen knights-errant in like +solitudes and wilds, and he went along reflecting on these things, so +absorbed and carried away by them that he had no thought for anything +else. + +Nor had Sancho any other care (now that he fancied he was travelling in a +safe quarter) than to satisfy his appetite with such remains as were left +of the clerical spoils, and so he marched behind his master laden with +what Dapple used to carry, emptying the sack and packing his paunch, and +so long as he could go that way, he would not have given a farthing to +meet with another adventure. + +While so engaged he raised his eyes and saw that his master had halted, +and was trying with the point of his pike to lift some bulky object that +lay upon the ground, on which he hastened to join him and help him if it +were needful, and reached him just as with the point of the pike he was +raising a saddle-pad with a valise attached to it, half or rather wholly +rotten and torn; but so heavy were they that Sancho had to help to take +them up, and his master directed him to see what the valise contained. +Sancho did so with great alacrity, and though the valise was secured by a +chain and padlock, from its torn and rotten condition he was able to see +its contents, which were four shirts of fine holland, and other articles +of linen no less curious than clean; and in a handkerchief he found a +good lot of gold crowns, and as soon as he saw them he exclaimed: + +"Blessed be all Heaven for sending us an adventure that is good for +something!" + +Searching further he found a little memorandum book richly bound; this +Don Quixote asked of him, telling him to take the money and keep it for +himself. Sancho kissed his hands for the favour, and cleared the valise +of its linen, which he stowed away in the provision sack. Considering the +whole matter, Don Quixote observed: + +"It seems to me, Sancho--and it is impossible it can be otherwise-that +some strayed traveller must have crossed this sierra and been attacked +and slain by footpads, who brought him to this remote spot to bury him." + +"That cannot be," answered Sancho, "because if they had been robbers they +would not have left this money." + +"Thou art right," said Don Quixote, "and I cannot guess or explain what +this may mean; but stay; let us see if in this memorandum book there is +anything written by which we may be able to trace out or discover what we +want to know." + +He opened it, and the first thing he found in it, written roughly but in +a very good hand, was a sonnet, and reading it aloud that Sancho might +hear it, he found that it ran as follows: + +poem{ + +SONNET + +Or Love is lacking in intelligence, + Or to the height of cruelty attains, + Or else it is my doom to suffer pains +Beyond the measure due to my offence. +But if Love be a God, it follows thence + That he knows all, and certain it remains + No God loves cruelty; then who ordains +This penance that enthrals while it torments? +It were a falsehood, Chloe, thee to name; + Such evil with such goodness cannot live; +And against Heaven I dare not charge the blame, + I only know it is my fate to die. + To him who knows not whence his malady + A miracle alone a cure can give. + +}poem + +"There is nothing to be learned from that rhyme," said Sancho, "unless by +that clue there's in it, one may draw out the ball of the whole matter." + +"What clue is there?" said Don Quixote. + +"I thought your worship spoke of a clue in it," said Sancho. + +"I only said Chloe," replied Don Quixote; "and that no doubt, is the name +of the lady of whom the author of the sonnet complains; and, faith, he +must be a tolerable poet, or I know little of the craft." + +"Then your worship understands rhyming too?" + +"And better than thou thinkest," replied Don Quixote, "as thou shalt see +when thou carriest a letter written in verse from beginning to end to my +lady Dulcinea del Toboso, for I would have thee know, Sancho, that all or +most of the knights-errant in days of yore were great troubadours and +great musicians, for both of these accomplishments, or more properly +speaking gifts, are the peculiar property of lovers-errant: true it is +that the verses of the knights of old have more spirit than neatness in +them." + +"Read more, your worship," said Sancho, "and you will find something that +will enlighten us." + +Don Quixote turned the page and said, "This is prose and seems to be a +letter." + +"A correspondence letter, senor?" + +"From the beginning it seems to be a love letter," replied Don Quixote. + +"Then let your worship read it aloud," said Sancho, "for I am very fond +of love matters." + +"With all my heart," said Don Quixote, and reading it aloud as Sancho had +requested him, he found it ran thus: + +Thy false promise and my sure misfortune carry me to a place whence the +news of my death will reach thy ears before the words of my complaint. +Ungrateful one, thou hast rejected me for one more wealthy, but not more +worthy; but if virtue were esteemed wealth I should neither envy the +fortunes of others nor weep for misfortunes of my own. What thy beauty +raised up thy deeds have laid low; by it I believed thee to be an angel, +by them I know thou art a woman. Peace be with thee who hast sent war to +me, and Heaven grant that the deceit of thy husband be ever hidden from +thee, so that thou repent not of what thou hast done, and I reap not a +revenge I would not have. + +When he had finished the letter, Don Quixote said, "There is less to be +gathered from this than from the verses, except that he who wrote it is +some rejected lover;" and turning over nearly all the pages of the book +he found more verses and letters, some of which he could read, while +others he could not; but they were all made up of complaints, laments, +misgivings, desires and aversions, favours and rejections, some +rapturous, some doleful. While Don Quixote examined the book, Sancho +examined the valise, not leaving a corner in the whole of it or in the +pad that he did not search, peer into, and explore, or seam that he did +not rip, or tuft of wool that he did not pick to pieces, lest anything +should escape for want of care and pains; so keen was the covetousness +excited in him by the discovery of the crowns, which amounted to near a +hundred; and though he found no more booty, he held the blanket flights, +balsam vomits, stake benedictions, carriers' fisticuffs, missing +alforjas, stolen coat, and all the hunger, thirst, and weariness he had +endured in the service of his good master, cheap at the price; as he +considered himself more than fully indemnified for all by the payment he +received in the gift of the treasure-trove. + +The Knight of the Rueful Countenance was still very anxious to find out +who the owner of the valise could be, conjecturing from the sonnet and +letter, from the money in gold, and from the fineness of the shirts, that +he must be some lover of distinction whom the scorn and cruelty of his +lady had driven to some desperate course; but as in that uninhabited and +rugged spot there was no one to be seen of whom he could inquire, he saw +nothing else for it but to push on, taking whatever road Rocinante +chose--which was where he could make his way--firmly persuaded that among +these wilds he could not fail to meet some rare adventure. As he went +along, then, occupied with these thoughts, he perceived on the summit of +a height that rose before their eyes a man who went springing from rock +to rock and from tussock to tussock with marvellous agility. As well as +he could make out he was unclad, with a thick black beard, long tangled +hair, and bare legs and feet, his thighs were covered by breeches +apparently of tawny velvet but so ragged that they showed his skin in +several places. + +He was bareheaded, and notwithstanding the swiftness with which he passed +as has been described, the Knight of the Rueful Countenance observed and +noted all these trifles, and though he made the attempt, he was unable to +follow him, for it was not granted to the feebleness of Rocinante to make +way over such rough ground, he being, moreover, slow-paced and sluggish +by nature. Don Quixote at once came to the conclusion that this was the +owner of the saddle-pad and of the valise, and made up his mind to go in +search of him, even though he should have to wander a year in those +mountains before he found him, and so he directed Sancho to take a short +cut over one side of the mountain, while he himself went by the other, +and perhaps by this means they might light upon this man who had passed +so quickly out of their sight. + +"I could not do that," said Sancho, "for when I separate from your +worship fear at once lays hold of me, and assails me with all sorts of +panics and fancies; and let what I now say be a notice that from this +time forth I am not going to stir a finger's width from your presence." + +"It shall be so," said he of the Rueful Countenance, "and I am very glad +that thou art willing to rely on my courage, which will never fail thee, +even though the soul in thy body fail thee; so come on now behind me +slowly as well as thou canst, and make lanterns of thine eyes; let us +make the circuit of this ridge; perhaps we shall light upon this man that +we saw, who no doubt is no other than the owner of what we found." + +To which Sancho made answer, "Far better would it be not to look for him, +for, if we find him, and he happens to be the owner of the money, it is +plain I must restore it; it would be better, therefore, that without +taking this needless trouble, I should keep possession of it until in +some other less meddlesome and officious way the real owner may be +discovered; and perhaps that will be when I shall have spent it, and then +the king will hold me harmless." + +"Thou art wrong there, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "for now that we have a +suspicion who the owner is, and have him almost before us, we are bound +to seek him and make restitution; and if we do not see him, the strong +suspicion we have as to his being the owner makes us as guilty as if he +were so; and so, friend Sancho, let not our search for him give thee any +uneasiness, for if we find him it will relieve mine." + +And so saying he gave Rocinante the spur, and Sancho followed him on foot +and loaded, and after having partly made the circuit of the mountain they +found lying in a ravine, dead and half devoured by dogs and pecked by +jackdaws, a mule saddled and bridled, all which still further +strengthened their suspicion that he who had fled was the owner of the +mule and the saddle-pad. + +As they stood looking at it they heard a whistle like that of a shepherd +watching his flock, and suddenly on their left there appeared a great +number of goats and behind them on the summit of the mountain the +goatherd in charge of them, a man advanced in years. Don Quixote called +aloud to him and begged him to come down to where they stood. He shouted +in return, asking what had brought them to that spot, seldom or never +trodden except by the feet of goats, or of the wolves and other wild +beasts that roamed around. Sancho in return bade him come down, and they +would explain all to him. + +The goatherd descended, and reaching the place where Don Quixote stood, +he said, "I will wager you are looking at that hack mule that lies dead +in the hollow there, and, faith, it has been lying there now these six +months; tell me, have you come upon its master about here?" + +"We have come upon nobody," answered Don Quixote, "nor on anything except +a saddle-pad and a little valise that we found not far from this." + +"I found it too," said the goatherd, "but I would not lift it nor go near +it for fear of some ill-luck or being charged with theft, for the devil +is crafty, and things rise up under one's feet to make one fall without +knowing why or wherefore." + +"That's exactly what I say," said Sancho; "I found it too, and I would +not go within a stone's throw of it; there I left it, and there it lies +just as it was, for I don't want a dog with a bell." + +"Tell me, good man," said Don Quixote, "do you know who is the owner of +this property?" + +"All I can tell you," said the goatherd, "is that about six months ago, +more or less, there arrived at a shepherd's hut three leagues, perhaps, +away from this, a youth of well-bred appearance and manners, mounted on +that same mule which lies dead here, and with the same saddle-pad and +valise which you say you found and did not touch. He asked us what part +of this sierra was the most rugged and retired; we told him that it was +where we now are; and so in truth it is, for if you push on half a league +farther, perhaps you will not be able to find your way out; and I am +wondering how you have managed to come here, for there is no road or path +that leads to this spot. I say, then, that on hearing our answer the +youth turned about and made for the place we pointed out to him, leaving +us all charmed with his good looks, and wondering at his question and the +haste with which we saw him depart in the direction of the sierra; and +after that we saw him no more, until some days afterwards he crossed the +path of one of our shepherds, and without saying a word to him, came up +to him and gave him several cuffs and kicks, and then turned to the ass +with our provisions and took all the bread and cheese it carried, and +having done this made off back again into the sierra with extraordinary +swiftness. When some of us goatherds learned this we went in search of +him for about two days through the most remote portion of this sierra, at +the end of which we found him lodged in the hollow of a large thick cork +tree. He came out to meet us with great gentleness, with his dress now +torn and his face so disfigured and burned by the sun, that we hardly +recognised him but that his clothes, though torn, convinced us, from the +recollection we had of them, that he was the person we were looking for. +He saluted us courteously, and in a few well-spoken words he told us not +to wonder at seeing him going about in this guise, as it was binding upon +him in order that he might work out a penance which for his many sins had +been imposed upon him. We asked him to tell us who he was, but we were +never able to find out from him: we begged of him too, when he was in +want of food, which he could not do without, to tell us where we should +find him, as we would bring it to him with all good-will and readiness; +or if this were not to his taste, at least to come and ask it of us and +not take it by force from the shepherds. He thanked us for the offer, +begged pardon for the late assault, and promised for the future to ask it +in God's name without offering violence to anybody. As for fixed abode, +he said he had no other than that which chance offered wherever night +might overtake him; and his words ended in an outburst of weeping so +bitter that we who listened to him must have been very stones had we not +joined him in it, comparing what we saw of him the first time with what +we saw now; for, as I said, he was a graceful and gracious youth, and in +his courteous and polished language showed himself to be of good birth +and courtly breeding, and rustics as we were that listened to him, even +to our rusticity his gentle bearing sufficed to make it plain. + +"But in the midst of his conversation he stopped and became silent, +keeping his eyes fixed upon the ground for some time, during which we +stood still waiting anxiously to see what would come of this abstraction; +and with no little pity, for from his behaviour, now staring at the +ground with fixed gaze and eyes wide open without moving an eyelid, again +closing them, compressing his lips and raising his eyebrows, we could +perceive plainly that a fit of madness of some kind had come upon him; +and before long he showed that what we imagined was the truth, for he +arose in a fury from the ground where he had thrown himself, and attacked +the first he found near him with such rage and fierceness that if we had +not dragged him off him, he would have beaten or bitten him to death, all +the while exclaiming, 'Oh faithless Fernando, here, here shalt thou pay +the penalty of the wrong thou hast done me; these hands shall tear out +that heart of thine, abode and dwelling of all iniquity, but of deceit +and fraud above all; and to these he added other words all in effect +upbraiding this Fernando and charging him with treachery and +faithlessness. + +"We forced him to release his hold with no little difficulty, and without +another word he left us, and rushing off plunged in among these brakes +and brambles, so as to make it impossible for us to follow him; from this +we suppose that madness comes upon him from time to time, and that some +one called Fernando must have done him a wrong of a grievous nature such +as the condition to which it had brought him seemed to show. All this has +been since then confirmed on those occasions, and they have been many, on +which he has crossed our path, at one time to beg the shepherds to give +him some of the food they carry, at another to take it from them by +force; for when there is a fit of madness upon him, even though the +shepherds offer it freely, he will not accept it but snatches it from +them by dint of blows; but when he is in his senses he begs it for the +love of God, courteously and civilly, and receives it with many thanks +and not a few tears. And to tell you the truth, sirs," continued the +goatherd, "it was yesterday that we resolved, I and four of the lads, two +of them our servants, and the other two friends of mine, to go in search +of him until we find him, and when we do to take him, whether by force or +of his own consent, to the town of Almodovar, which is eight leagues from +this, and there strive to cure him (if indeed his malady admits of a +cure), or learn when he is in his senses who he is, and if he has +relatives to whom we may give notice of his misfortune. This, sirs, is +all I can say in answer to what you have asked me; and be sure that the +owner of the articles you found is he whom you saw pass by with such +nimbleness and so naked." + +For Don Quixote had already described how he had seen the man go bounding +along the mountain side, and he was now filled with amazement at what he +heard from the goatherd, and more eager than ever to discover who the +unhappy madman was; and in his heart he resolved, as he had done before, +to search for him all over the mountain, not leaving a corner or cave +unexamined until he had found him. But chance arranged matters better +than he expected or hoped, for at that very moment, in a gorge on the +mountain that opened where they stood, the youth he wished to find made +his appearance, coming along talking to himself in a way that would have +been unintelligible near at hand, much more at a distance. His garb was +what has been described, save that as he drew near, Don Quixote perceived +that a tattered doublet which he wore was amber-tanned, from which he +concluded that one who wore such garments could not be of very low rank. + +Approaching them, the youth greeted them in a harsh and hoarse voice but +with great courtesy. Don Quixote returned his salutation with equal +politeness, and dismounting from Rocinante advanced with well-bred +bearing and grace to embrace him, and held him for some time close in his +arms as if he had known him for a long time. The other, whom we may call +the Ragged One of the Sorry Countenance, as Don Quixote was of the +Rueful, after submitting to the embrace pushed him back a little and, +placing his hands on Don Quixote's shoulders, stood gazing at him as if +seeking to see whether he knew him, not less amazed, perhaps, at the +sight of the face, figure, and armour of Don Quixote than Don Quixote was +at the sight of him. To be brief, the first to speak after embracing was +the Ragged One, and he said what will be told farther on. + +Chapter XXIV. - +In which is continued the adventure of the Sierra Morena + +The history relates that it was with the greatest attention Don Quixote +listened to the ragged knight of the Sierra, who began by saying: + +"Of a surety, senor, whoever you are, for I know you not, I thank you for +the proofs of kindness and courtesy you have shown me, and would I were +in a condition to requite with something more than good-will that which +you have displayed towards me in the cordial reception you have given me; +but my fate does not afford me any other means of returning kindnesses +done me save the hearty desire to repay them." + +"Mine," replied Don Quixote, "is to be of service to you, so much so that +I had resolved not to quit these mountains until I had found you, and +learned of you whether there is any kind of relief to be found for that +sorrow under which from the strangeness of your life you seem to labour; +and to search for you with all possible diligence, if search had been +necessary. And if your misfortune should prove to be one of those that +refuse admission to any sort of consolation, it was my purpose to join +you in lamenting and mourning over it, so far as I could; for it is still +some comfort in misfortune to find one who can feel for it. And if my +good intentions deserve to be acknowledged with any kind of courtesy, I +entreat you, senor, by that which I perceive you possess in so high a +degree, and likewise conjure you by whatever you love or have loved best +in life, to tell me who you are and the cause that has brought you to +live or die in these solitudes like a brute beast, dwelling among them in +a manner so foreign to your condition as your garb and appearance show. +And I swear," added Don Quixote, "by the order of knighthood which I have +received, and by my vocation of knight-errant, if you gratify me in this, +to serve you with all the zeal my calling demands of me, either in +relieving your misfortune if it admits of relief, or in joining you in +lamenting it as I promised to do." + +The Knight of the Thicket, hearing him of the Rueful Countenance talk in +this strain, did nothing but stare at him, and stare at him again, and +again survey him from head to foot; and when he had thoroughly examined +him, he said to him: + +"If you have anything to give me to eat, for God's sake give it me, and +after I have eaten I will do all you ask in acknowledgment of the +goodwill you have displayed towards me." + +Sancho from his sack, and the goatherd from his pouch, furnished the +Ragged One with the means of appeasing his hunger, and what they gave him +he ate like a half-witted being, so hastily that he took no time between +mouthfuls, gorging rather than swallowing; and while he ate neither he +nor they who observed him uttered a word. As soon as he had done he made +signs to them to follow him, which they did, and he led them to a green +plot which lay a little farther off round the corner of a rock. On +reaching it he stretched himself upon the grass, and the others did the +same, all keeping silence, until the Ragged One, settling himself in his +place, said: + +"If it is your wish, sirs, that I should disclose in a few words the +surpassing extent of my misfortunes, you must promise not to break the +thread of my sad story with any question or other interruption, for the +instant you do so the tale I tell will come to an end." + +These words of the Ragged One reminded Don Quixote of the tale his squire +had told him, when he failed to keep count of the goats that had crossed +the river and the story remained unfinished; but to return to the Ragged +One, he went on to say: + +"I give you this warning because I wish to pass briefly over the story of +my misfortunes, for recalling them to memory only serves to add fresh +ones, and the less you question me the sooner shall I make an end of the +recital, though I shall not omit to relate anything of importance in +order fully to satisfy your curiosity." + +Don Quixote gave the promise for himself and the others, and with this +assurance he began as follows: + +"My name is Cardenio, my birthplace one of the best cities of this +Andalusia, my family noble, my parents rich, my misfortune so great that +my parents must have wept and my family grieved over it without being +able by their wealth to lighten it; for the gifts of fortune can do +little to relieve reverses sent by Heaven. In that same country there was +a heaven in which love had placed all the glory I could desire; such was +the beauty of Luscinda, a damsel as noble and as rich as I, but of +happier fortunes, and of less firmness than was due to so worthy a +passion as mine. This Luscinda I loved, worshipped, and adored from my +earliest and tenderest years, and she loved me in all the innocence and +sincerity of childhood. Our parents were aware of our feelings, and were +not sorry to perceive them, for they saw clearly that as they ripened +they must lead at last to a marriage between us, a thing that seemed +almost prearranged by the equality of our families and wealth. We grew +up, and with our growth grew the love between us, so that the father of +Luscinda felt bound for propriety's sake to refuse me admission to his +house, in this perhaps imitating the parents of that Thisbe so celebrated +by the poets, and this refusal but added love to love and flame to flame; +for though they enforced silence upon our tongues they could not impose +it upon our pens, which can make known the heart's secrets to a loved one +more freely than tongues; for many a time the presence of the object of +love shakes the firmest will and strikes dumb the boldest tongue. Ah +heavens! how many letters did I write her, and how many dainty modest +replies did I receive! how many ditties and love-songs did I compose in +which my heart declared and made known its feelings, described its ardent +longings, revelled in its recollections and dallied with its desires! At +length growing impatient and feeling my heart languishing with longing to +see her, I resolved to put into execution and carry out what seemed to me +the best mode of winning my desired and merited reward, to ask her of her +father for my lawful wife, which I did. To this his answer was that he +thanked me for the disposition I showed to do honour to him and to regard +myself as honoured by the bestowal of his treasure; but that as my father +was alive it was his by right to make this demand, for if it were not in +accordance with his full will and pleasure, Luscinda was not to be taken +or given by stealth. I thanked him for his kindness, reflecting that +there was reason in what he said, and that my father would assent to it +as soon as I should tell him, and with that view I went the very same +instant to let him know what my desires were. When I entered the room +where he was I found him with an open letter in his hand, which, before I +could utter a word, he gave me, saying, 'By this letter thou wilt see, +Cardenio, the disposition the Duke Ricardo has to serve thee.' This Duke +Ricardo, as you, sirs, probably know already, is a grandee of Spain who +has his seat in the best part of this Andalusia. I took and read the +letter, which was couched in terms so flattering that even I myself felt +it would be wrong in my father not to comply with the request the duke +made in it, which was that he would send me immediately to him, as he +wished me to become the companion, not servant, of his eldest son, and +would take upon himself the charge of placing me in a position +corresponding to the esteem in which he held me. On reading the letter my +voice failed me, and still more when I heard my father say, 'Two days +hence thou wilt depart, Cardenio, in accordance with the duke's wish, and +give thanks to God who is opening a road to thee by which thou mayest +attain what I know thou dost deserve; and to these words he added others +of fatherly counsel. The time for my departure arrived; I spoke one night +to Luscinda, I told her all that had occurred, as I did also to her +father, entreating him to allow some delay, and to defer the disposal of +her hand until I should see what the Duke Ricardo sought of me: he gave +me the promise, and she confirmed it with vows and swoonings unnumbered. +Finally, I presented myself to the duke, and was received and treated by +him so kindly that very soon envy began to do its work, the old servants +growing envious of me, and regarding the duke's inclination to show me +favour as an injury to themselves. But the one to whom my arrival gave +the greatest pleasure was the duke's second son, Fernando by name, a +gallant youth, of noble, generous, and amorous disposition, who very soon +made so intimate a friend of me that it was remarked by everybody; for +though the elder was attached to me, and showed me kindness, he did not +carry his affectionate treatment to the same length as Don Fernando. It +so happened, then, that as between friends no secret remains unshared, +and as the favour I enjoyed with Don Fernando had grown into friendship, +he made all his thoughts known to me, and in particular a love affair +which troubled his mind a little. He was deeply in love with a peasant +girl, a vassal of his father's, the daughter of wealthy parents, and +herself so beautiful, modest, discreet, and virtuous, that no one who +knew her was able to decide in which of these respects she was most +highly gifted or most excelled. The attractions of the fair peasant +raised the passion of Don Fernando to such a point that, in order to gain +his object and overcome her virtuous resolutions, he determined to pledge +his word to her to become her husband, for to attempt it in any other way +was to attempt an impossibility. Bound to him as I was by friendship, I +strove by the best arguments and the most forcible examples I could think +of to restrain and dissuade him from such a course; but perceiving I +produced no effect I resolved to make the Duke Ricardo, his father, +acquainted with the matter; but Don Fernando, being sharp-witted and +shrewd, foresaw and apprehended this, perceiving that by my duty as a +good servant I was bound not to keep concealed a thing so much opposed to +the honour of my lord the duke; and so, to mislead and deceive me, he +told me he could find no better way of effacing from his mind the beauty +that so enslaved him than by absenting himself for some months, and that +he wished the absence to be effected by our going, both of us, to my +father's house under the pretence, which he would make to the duke, of +going to see and buy some fine horses that there were in my city, which +produces the best in the world. When I heard him say so, even if his +resolution had not been so good a one I should have hailed it as one of +the happiest that could be imagined, prompted by my affection, seeing +what a favourable chance and opportunity it offered me of returning to +see my Luscinda. With this thought and wish I commended his idea and +encouraged his design, advising him to put it into execution as quickly +as possible, as, in truth, absence produced its effect in spite of the +most deeply rooted feelings. But, as afterwards appeared, when he said +this to me he had already enjoyed the peasant girl under the title of +husband, and was waiting for an opportunity of making it known with +safety to himself, being in dread of what his father the duke would do +when he came to know of his folly. It happened, then, that as with young +men love is for the most part nothing more than appetite, which, as its +final object is enjoyment, comes to an end on obtaining it, and that +which seemed to be love takes to flight, as it cannot pass the limit +fixed by nature, which fixes no limit to true love--what I mean is that +after Don Fernando had enjoyed this peasant girl his passion subsided and +his eagerness cooled, and if at first he feigned a wish to absent himself +in order to cure his love, he was now in reality anxious to go to avoid +keeping his promise. + +"The duke gave him permission, and ordered me to accompany him; we +arrived at my city, and my father gave him the reception due to his rank; +I saw Luscinda without delay, and, though it had not been dead or +deadened, my love gathered fresh life. To my sorrow I told the story of +it to Don Fernando, for I thought that in virtue of the great friendship +he bore me I was bound to conceal nothing from him. I extolled her +beauty, her gaiety, her wit, so warmly, that my praises excited in him a +desire to see a damsel adorned by such attractions. To my misfortune I +yielded to it, showing her to him one night by the light of a taper at a +window where we used to talk to one another. As she appeared to him in +her dressing-gown, she drove all the beauties he had seen until then out +of his recollection; speech failed him, his head turned, he was +spell-bound, and in the end love-smitten, as you will see in the course +of the story of my misfortune; and to inflame still further his passion, +which he hid from me and revealed to Heaven alone, it so happened that +one day he found a note of hers entreating me to demand her of her father +in marriage, so delicate, so modest, and so tender, that on reading it he +told me that in Luscinda alone were combined all the charms of beauty and +understanding that were distributed among all the other women in the +world. It is true, and I own it now, that though I knew what good cause +Don Fernando had to praise Luscinda, it gave me uneasiness to hear these +praises from his mouth, and I began to fear, and with reason to feel +distrust of him, for there was no moment when he was not ready to talk of +Luscinda, and he would start the subject himself even though he dragged +it in unseasonably, a circumstance that aroused in me a certain amount of +jealousy; not that I feared any change in the constancy or faith of +Luscinda; but still my fate led me to forebode what she assured me +against. Don Fernando contrived always to read the letters I sent to +Luscinda and her answers to me, under the pretence that he enjoyed the +wit and sense of both. It so happened, then, that Luscinda having begged +of me a book of chivalry to read, one that she was very fond of, Amadis +of Gaul-" + +Don Quixote no sooner heard a book of chivalry mentioned, than he said: + +"Had your worship told me at the beginning of your story that the Lady +Luscinda was fond of books of chivalry, no other laudation would have +been requisite to impress upon me the superiority of her understanding, +for it could not have been of the excellence you describe had a taste for +such delightful reading been wanting; so, as far as I am concerned, you +need waste no more words in describing her beauty, worth, and +intelligence; for, on merely hearing what her taste was, I declare her to +be the most beautiful and the most intelligent woman in the world; and I +wish your worship had, along with Amadis of Gaul, sent her the worthy Don +Rugel of Greece, for I know the Lady Luscinda would greatly relish +Daraida and Garaya, and the shrewd sayings of the shepherd Darinel, and +the admirable verses of his bucolics, sung and delivered by him with such +sprightliness, wit, and ease; but a time may come when this omission can +be remedied, and to rectify it nothing more is needed than for your +worship to be so good as to come with me to my village, for there I can +give you more than three hundred books which are the delight of my soul +and the entertainment of my life;--though it occurs to me that I have not +got one of them now, thanks to the spite of wicked and envious +enchanters;--but pardon me for having broken the promise we made not to +interrupt your discourse; for when I hear chivalry or knights-errant +mentioned, I can no more help talking about them than the rays of the sun +can help giving heat, or those of the moon moisture; pardon me, +therefore, and proceed, for that is more to the purpose now." + +While Don Quixote was saying this, Cardenio allowed his head to fall upon +his breast, and seemed plunged in deep thought; and though twice Don +Quixote bade him go on with his story, he neither looked up nor uttered a +word in reply; but after some time he raised his head and said, "I cannot +get rid of the idea, nor will anyone in the world remove it, or make me +think otherwise--and he would be a blockhead who would hold or believe +anything else than that that arrant knave Master Elisabad made free with +Queen Madasima." + +"That is not true, by all that's good," said Don Quixote in high wrath, +turning upon him angrily, as his way was; "and it is a very great +slander, or rather villainy. Queen Madasima was a very illustrious lady, +and it is not to be supposed that so exalted a princess would have made +free with a quack; and whoever maintains the contrary lies like a great +scoundrel, and I will give him to know it, on foot or on horseback, armed +or unarmed, by night or by day, or as he likes best." + +Cardenio was looking at him steadily, and his mad fit having now come +upon him, he had no disposition to go on with his story, nor would Don +Quixote have listened to it, so much had what he had heard about Madasima +disgusted him. Strange to say, he stood up for her as if she were in +earnest his veritable born lady; to such a pass had his unholy books +brought him. Cardenio, then, being, as I said, now mad, when he heard +himself given the lie, and called a scoundrel and other insulting names, +not relishing the jest, snatched up a stone that he found near him, and +with it delivered such a blow on Don Quixote's breast that he laid him on +his back. Sancho Panza, seeing his master treated in this fashion, +attacked the madman with his closed fist; but the Ragged One received him +in such a way that with a blow of his fist he stretched him at his feet, +and then mounting upon him crushed his ribs to his own satisfaction; the +goatherd, who came to the rescue, shared the same fate; and having beaten +and pummelled them all he left them and quietly withdrew to his +hiding-place on the mountain. Sancho rose, and with the rage he felt at +finding himself so belaboured without deserving it, ran to take vengeance +on the goatherd, accusing him of not giving them warning that this man +was at times taken with a mad fit, for if they had known it they would +have been on their guard to protect themselves. The goatherd replied that +he had said so, and that if he had not heard him, that was no fault of +his. Sancho retorted, and the goatherd rejoined, and the altercation +ended in their seizing each other by the beard, and exchanging such +fisticuffs that if Don Quixote had not made peace between them, they +would have knocked one another to pieces. + +"Leave me alone, Sir Knight of the Rueful Countenance," said Sancho, +grappling with the goatherd, "for of this fellow, who is a clown like +myself, and no dubbed knight, I can safely take satisfaction for the +affront he has offered me, fighting with him hand to hand like an honest +man." + +"That is true," said Don Quixote, "but I know that he is not to blame for +what has happened." + +With this he pacified them, and again asked the goatherd if it would be +possible to find Cardenio, as he felt the greatest anxiety to know the +end of his story. The goatherd told him, as he had told him before, that +there was no knowing of a certainty where his lair was; but that if he +wandered about much in that neighbourhood he could not fail to fall in +with him either in or out of his senses. + +Chapter XXV. - +Which treats of the strange things that happened to the stout Knight of +La Mancha in the Sierra Morena, and of his imitation of the penance of +Beltenebros + +Don Quixote took leave of the goatherd, and once more mounting Rocinante +bade Sancho follow him, which he having no ass, did very discontentedly. +They proceeded slowly, making their way into the most rugged part of the +mountain, Sancho all the while dying to have a talk with his master, and +longing for him to begin, so that there should be no breach of the +injunction laid upon him; but unable to keep silence so long he said to +him: + +"Senor Don Quixote, give me your worship's blessing and dismissal, for +I'd like to go home at once to my wife and children with whom I can at +any rate talk and converse as much as I like; for to want me to go +through these solitudes day and night and not speak to you when I have a +mind is burying me alive. If luck would have it that animals spoke as +they did in the days of Guisopete, it would not be so bad, because I +could talk to Rocinante about whatever came into my head, and so put up +with my ill-fortune; but it is a hard case, and not to be borne with +patience, to go seeking adventures all one's life and get nothing but +kicks and blanketings, brickbats and punches, and with all this to have +to sew up one's mouth without daring to say what is in one's heart, just +as if one were dumb." + +"I understand thee, Sancho," replied Don Quixote; "thou art dying to have +the interdict I placed upon thy tongue removed; consider it removed, and +say what thou wilt while we are wandering in these mountains." + +"So be it," said Sancho; "let me speak now, for God knows what will +happen by-and-by; and to take advantage of the permit at once, I ask, +what made your worship stand up so for that Queen Majimasa, or whatever +her name is, or what did it matter whether that abbot was a friend of +hers or not? for if your worship had let that pass--and you were not a +judge in the matter--it is my belief the madman would have gone on with +his story, and the blow of the stone, and the kicks, and more than half a +dozen cuffs would have been escaped." + +"In faith, Sancho," answered Don Quixote, "if thou knewest as I do what +an honourable and illustrious lady Queen Madasima was, I know thou +wouldst say I had great patience that I did not break in pieces the mouth +that uttered such blasphemies, for a very great blasphemy it is to say or +imagine that a queen has made free with a surgeon. The truth of the story +is that that Master Elisabad whom the madman mentioned was a man of great +prudence and sound judgment, and served as governor and physician to the +queen, but to suppose that she was his mistress is nonsense deserving +very severe punishment; and as a proof that Cardenio did not know what he +was saying, remember when he said it he was out of his wits." + +"That is what I say," said Sancho; "there was no occasion for minding the +words of a madman; for if good luck had not helped your worship, and he +had sent that stone at your head instead of at your breast, a fine way we +should have been in for standing up for my lady yonder, God confound her! +And then, would not Cardenio have gone free as a madman?" + +"Against men in their senses or against madmen," said Don Quixote, "every +knight-errant is bound to stand up for the honour of women, whoever they +may be, much more for queens of such high degree and dignity as Queen +Madasima, for whom I have a particular regard on account of her amiable +qualities; for, besides being extremely beautiful, she was very wise, and +very patient under her misfortunes, of which she had many; and the +counsel and society of the Master Elisabad were a great help and support +to her in enduring her afflictions with wisdom and resignation; hence the +ignorant and ill-disposed vulgar took occasion to say and think that she +was his mistress; and they lie, I say it once more, and will lie two +hundred times more, all who think and say so." + +"I neither say nor think so," said Sancho; "let them look to it; with +their bread let them eat it; they have rendered account to God whether +they misbehaved or not; I come from my vineyard, I know nothing; I am not +fond of prying into other men's lives; he who buys and lies feels it in +his purse; moreover, naked was I born, naked I find myself, I neither +lose nor gain; but if they did, what is that to me? many think there are +flitches where there are no hooks; but who can put gates to the open +plain? moreover they said of God-" + +"God bless me," said Don Quixote, "what a set of absurdities thou art +stringing together! What has what we are talking about got to do with the +proverbs thou art threading one after the other? for God's sake hold thy +tongue, Sancho, and henceforward keep to prodding thy ass and don't +meddle in what does not concern thee; and understand with all thy five +senses that everything I have done, am doing, or shall do, is well +founded on reason and in conformity with the rules of chivalry, for I +understand them better than all the world that profess them." + +"Senor," replied Sancho, "is it a good rule of chivalry that we should go +astray through these mountains without path or road, looking for a madman +who when he is found will perhaps take a fancy to finish what he began, +not his story, but your worship's head and my ribs, and end by breaking +them altogether for us?" + +"Peace, I say again, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "for let me tell thee it +is not so much the desire of finding that madman that leads me into these +regions as that which I have of performing among them an achievement +wherewith I shall win eternal name and fame throughout the known world; +and it shall be such that I shall thereby set the seal on all that can +make a knight-errant perfect and famous." + +"And is it very perilous, this achievement?" + +"No," replied he of the Rueful Countenance; "though it may be in the dice +that we may throw deuce-ace instead of sixes; but all will depend on thy +diligence." + +"On my diligence!" said Sancho. + +"Yes," said Don Quixote, "for if thou dost return soon from the place +where I mean to send thee, my penance will be soon over, and my glory +will soon begin. But as it is not right to keep thee any longer in +suspense, waiting to see what comes of my words, I would have thee know, +Sancho, that the famous Amadis of Gaul was one of the most perfect +knights-errant--I am wrong to say he was one; he stood alone, the first, +the only one, the lord of all that were in the world in his time. A fig +for Don Belianis, and for all who say he equalled him in any respect, +for, my oath upon it, they are deceiving themselves! I say, too, that +when a painter desires to become famous in his art he endeavours to copy +the originals of the rarest painters that he knows; and the same rule +holds good for all the most important crafts and callings that serve to +adorn a state; thus must he who would be esteemed prudent and patient +imitate Ulysses, in whose person and labours Homer presents to us a +lively picture of prudence and patience; as Virgil, too, shows us in the +person of AEneas the virtue of a pious son and the sagacity of a brave +and skilful captain; not representing or describing them as they were, +but as they ought to be, so as to leave the example of their virtues to +posterity. In the same way Amadis was the polestar, day-star, sun of +valiant and devoted knights, whom all we who fight under the banner of +love and chivalry are bound to imitate. This, then, being so, I consider, +friend Sancho, that the knight-errant who shall imitate him most closely +will come nearest to reaching the perfection of chivalry. Now one of the +instances in which this knight most conspicuously showed his prudence, +worth, valour, endurance, fortitude, and love, was when he withdrew, +rejected by the Lady Oriana, to do penance upon the Pena Pobre, changing +his name into that of Beltenebros, a name assuredly significant and +appropriate to the life which he had voluntarily adopted. So, as it is +easier for me to imitate him in this than in cleaving giants asunder, +cutting off serpents' heads, slaying dragons, routing armies, destroying +fleets, and breaking enchantments, and as this place is so well suited +for a similar purpose, I must not allow the opportunity to escape which +now so conveniently offers me its forelock." + +"What is it in reality," said Sancho, "that your worship means to do in +such an out-of-the-way place as this?" + +"Have I not told thee," answered Don Quixote, "that I mean to imitate +Amadis here, playing the victim of despair, the madman, the maniac, so as +at the same time to imitate the valiant Don Roland, when at the fountain +he had evidence of the fair Angelica having disgraced herself with Medoro +and through grief thereat went mad, and plucked up trees, troubled the +waters of the clear springs, slew destroyed flocks, burned down huts, +levelled houses, dragged mares after him, and perpetrated a hundred +thousand other outrages worthy of everlasting renown and record? And +though I have no intention of imitating Roland, or Orlando, or Rotolando +(for he went by all these names), step by step in all the mad things he +did, said, and thought, I will make a rough copy to the best of my power +of all that seems to me most essential; but perhaps I shall content +myself with the simple imitation of Amadis, who without giving way to any +mischievous madness but merely to tears and sorrow, gained as much fame +as the most famous." + +"It seems to me," said Sancho, "that the knights who behaved in this way +had provocation and cause for those follies and penances; but what cause +has your worship for going mad? What lady has rejected you, or what +evidence have you found to prove that the lady Dulcinea del Toboso has +been trifling with Moor or Christian?" + +"There is the point," replied Don Quixote, "and that is the beauty of +this business of mine; no thanks to a knight-errant for going mad when he +has cause; the thing is to turn crazy without any provocation, and let my +lady know, if I do this in the dry, what I would do in the moist; +moreover I have abundant cause in the long separation I have endured from +my lady till death, Dulcinea del Toboso; for as thou didst hear that +shepherd Ambrosio say the other day, in absence all ills are felt and +feared; and so, friend Sancho, waste no time in advising me against so +rare, so happy, and so unheard-of an imitation; mad I am, and mad I must +be until thou returnest with the answer to a letter that I mean to send +by thee to my lady Dulcinea; and if it be such as my constancy deserves, +my insanity and penance will come to an end; and if it be to the opposite +effect, I shall become mad in earnest, and, being so, I shall suffer no +more; thus in whatever way she may answer I shall escape from the +struggle and affliction in which thou wilt leave me, enjoying in my +senses the boon thou bearest me, or as a madman not feeling the evil thou +bringest me. But tell me, Sancho, hast thou got Mambrino's helmet safe? +for I saw thee take it up from the ground when that ungrateful wretch +tried to break it in pieces but could not, by which the fineness of its +temper may be seen." + +To which Sancho made answer, "By the living God, Sir Knight of the Rueful +Countenance, I cannot endure or bear with patience some of the things +that your worship says; and from them I begin to suspect that all you +tell me about chivalry, and winning kingdoms and empires, and giving +islands, and bestowing other rewards and dignities after the custom of +knights-errant, must be all made up of wind and lies, and all pigments or +figments, or whatever we may call them; for what would anyone think that +heard your worship calling a barber's basin Mambrino's helmet without +ever seeing the mistake all this time, but that one who says and +maintains such things must have his brains addled? I have the basin in my +sack all dinted, and I am taking it home to have it mended, to trim my +beard in it, if, by God's grace, I am allowed to see my wife and children +some day or other." + +"Look here, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "by him thou didst swear by just +now I swear thou hast the most limited understanding that any squire in +the world has or ever had. Is it possible that all this time thou hast +been going about with me thou hast never found out that all things +belonging to knights-errant seem to be illusions and nonsense and +ravings, and to go always by contraries? And not because it really is so, +but because there is always a swarm of enchanters in attendance upon us +that change and alter everything with us, and turn things as they please, +and according as they are disposed to aid or destroy us; thus what seems +to thee a barber's basin seems to me Mambrino's helmet, and to another it +will seem something else; and rare foresight it was in the sage who is on +my side to make what is really and truly Mambrine's helmet seem a basin +to everybody, for, being held in such estimation as it is, all the world +would pursue me to rob me of it; but when they see it is only a barber's +basin they do not take the trouble to obtain it; as was plainly shown by +him who tried to break it, and left it on the ground without taking it, +for, by my faith, had he known it he would never have left it behind. +Keep it safe, my friend, for just now I have no need of it; indeed, I +shall have to take off all this armour and remain as naked as I was born, +if I have a mind to follow Roland rather than Amadis in my penance." + +Thus talking they reached the foot of a high mountain which stood like an +isolated peak among the others that surrounded it. Past its base there +flowed a gentle brook, all around it spread a meadow so green and +luxuriant that it was a delight to the eyes to look upon it, and forest +trees in abundance, and shrubs and flowers, added to the charms of the +spot. Upon this place the Knight of the Rueful Countenance fixed his +choice for the performance of his penance, and as he beheld it exclaimed +in a loud voice as though he were out of his senses: + +"This is the place, oh, ye heavens, that I select and choose for +bewailing the misfortune in which ye yourselves have plunged me: this is +the spot where the overflowings of mine eyes shall swell the waters of +yon little brook, and my deep and endless sighs shall stir unceasingly +the leaves of these mountain trees, in testimony and token of the pain my +persecuted heart is suffering. Oh, ye rural deities, whoever ye be that +haunt this lone spot, give ear to the complaint of a wretched lover whom +long absence and brooding jealousy have driven to bewail his fate among +these wilds and complain of the hard heart of that fair and ungrateful +one, the end and limit of all human beauty! Oh, ye wood nymphs and +dryads, that dwell in the thickets of the forest, so may the nimble +wanton satyrs by whom ye are vainly wooed never disturb your sweet +repose, help me to lament my hard fate or at least weary not at listening +to it! Oh, Dulcinea del Toboso, day of my night, glory of my pain, guide +of my path, star of my fortune, so may Heaven grant thee in full all thou +seekest of it, bethink thee of the place and condition to which absence +from thee has brought me, and make that return in kindness that is due to +my fidelity! Oh, lonely trees, that from this day forward shall bear me +company in my solitude, give me some sign by the gentle movement of your +boughs that my presence is not distasteful to you! Oh, thou, my squire, +pleasant companion in my prosperous and adverse fortunes, fix well in thy +memory what thou shalt see me do here, so that thou mayest relate and +report it to the sole cause of all," and so saying he dismounted from +Rocinante, and in an instant relieved him of saddle and bridle, and +giving him a slap on the croup, said, "He gives thee freedom who is +bereft of it himself, oh steed as excellent in deed as thou art +unfortunate in thy lot; begone where thou wilt, for thou bearest written +on thy forehead that neither Astolfo's hippogriff, nor the famed Frontino +that cost Bradamante so dear, could equal thee in speed." + +Seeing this Sancho said, "Good luck to him who has saved us the trouble +of stripping the pack-saddle off Dapple! By my faith he would not have +gone without a slap on the croup and something said in his praise; though +if he were here I would not let anyone strip him, for there would be no +occasion, as he had nothing of the lover or victim of despair about him, +inasmuch as his master, which I was while it was God's pleasure, was +nothing of the sort; and indeed, Sir Knight of the Rueful Countenance, if +my departure and your worship's madness are to come off in earnest, it +will be as well to saddle Rocinante again in order that he may supply the +want of Dapple, because it will save me time in going and returning: for +if I go on foot I don't know when I shall get there or when I shall get +back, as I am, in truth, a bad walker." + +"I declare, Sancho," returned Don Quixote, "it shall be as thou wilt, for +thy plan does not seem to me a bad one, and three days hence thou wilt +depart, for I wish thee to observe in the meantime what I do and say for +her sake, that thou mayest be able to tell it." + +"But what more have I to see besides what I have seen?" said Sancho. + +"Much thou knowest about it!" said Don Quixote. "I have now got to tear +up my garments, to scatter about my armour, knock my head against these +rocks, and more of the same sort of thing, which thou must witness." + +"For the love of God," said Sancho, "be careful, your worship, how you +give yourself those knocks on the head, for you may come across such a +rock, and in such a way, that the very first may put an end to the whole +contrivance of this penance; and I should think, if indeed knocks on the +head seem necessary to you, and this business cannot be done without +them, you might be content--as the whole thing is feigned, and +counterfeit, and in joke--you might be content, I say, with giving them +to yourself in the water, or against something soft, like cotton; and +leave it all to me; for I'll tell my lady that your worship knocked your +head against a point of rock harder than a diamond." + +"I thank thee for thy good intentions, friend Sancho," answered Don +Quixote, "but I would have thee know that all these things I am doing are +not in joke, but very much in earnest, for anything else would be a +transgression of the ordinances of chivalry, which forbid us to tell any +lie whatever under the penalties due to apostasy; and to do one thing +instead of another is just the same as lying; so my knocks on the head +must be real, solid, and valid, without anything sophisticated or +fanciful about them, and it will be needful to leave me some lint to +dress my wounds, since fortune has compelled us to do without the balsam +we lost." + +"It was worse losing the ass," replied Sancho, "for with him lint and all +were lost; but I beg of your worship not to remind me again of that +accursed liquor, for my soul, not to say my stomach, turns at hearing the +very name of it; and I beg of you, too, to reckon as past the three days +you allowed me for seeing the mad things you do, for I take them as seen +already and pronounced upon, and I will tell wonderful stories to my +lady; so write the letter and send me off at once, for I long to return +and take your worship out of this purgatory where I am leaving you." + +"Purgatory dost thou call it, Sancho?" said Don Quixote, "rather call it +hell, or even worse if there be anything worse." + +"For one who is in hell," said Sancho, "nulla est retentio, as I have +heard say." + +"I do not understand what retentio means," said Don Quixote. + +"Retentio," answered Sancho, "means that whoever is in hell never comes +nor can come out of it, which will be the opposite case with your worship +or my legs will be idle, that is if I have spurs to enliven Rocinante: +let me once get to El Toboso and into the presence of my lady Dulcinea, +and I will tell her such things of the follies and madnesses (for it is +all one) that your worship has done and is still doing, that I will +manage to make her softer than a glove though I find her harder than a +cork tree; and with her sweet and honeyed answer I will come back through +the air like a witch, and take your worship out of this purgatory that +seems to be hell but is not, as there is hope of getting out of it; +which, as I have said, those in hell have not, and I believe your worship +will not say anything to the contrary." + +"That is true," said he of the Rueful Countenance, "but how shall we +manage to write the letter?" + +"And the ass-colt order too," added Sancho. + +"All shall be included," said Don Quixote; "and as there is no paper, it +would be well done to write it on the leaves of trees, as the ancients +did, or on tablets of wax; though that would be as hard to find just now +as paper. But it has just occurred to me how it may be conveniently and +even more than conveniently written, and that is in the note-book that +belonged to Cardenio, and thou wilt take care to have it copied on paper, +in a good hand, at the first village thou comest to where there is a +schoolmaster, or if not, any sacristan will copy it; but see thou give it +not to any notary to copy, for they write a law hand that Satan could not +make out." + +"But what is to be done about the signature?" said Sancho. + +"The letters of Amadis were never signed," said Don Quixote. + +"That is all very well," said Sancho, "but the order must needs be +signed, and if it is copied they will say the signature is false, and I +shall be left without ass-colts." + +"The order shall go signed in the same book," said Don Quixote, "and on +seeing it my niece will make no difficulty about obeying it; as to the +loveletter thou canst put by way of signature, 'Yours till death, the +Knight of the Rueful Countenance.' And it will be no great matter if it +is in some other person's hand, for as well as I recollect Dulcinea can +neither read nor write, nor in the whole course of her life has she seen +handwriting or letter of mine, for my love and hers have been always +platonic, not going beyond a modest look, and even that so seldom that I +can safely swear I have not seen her four times in all these twelve years +I have been loving her more than the light of these eyes that the earth +will one day devour; and perhaps even of those four times she has not +once perceived that I was looking at her: such is the retirement and +seclusion in which her father Lorenzo Corchuelo and her mother Aldonza +Nogales have brought her up." + +"So, so!" said Sancho; "Lorenzo Corchuelo's daughter is the lady Dulcinea +del Toboso, otherwise called Aldonza Lorenzo?" + +"She it is," said Don Quixote, "and she it is that is worthy to be lady +of the whole universe." + +"I know her well," said Sancho, "and let me tell you she can fling a +crowbar as well as the lustiest lad in all the town. Giver of all good! +but she is a brave lass, and a right and stout one, and fit to be +helpmate to any knight-errant that is or is to be, who may make her his +lady: the whoreson wench, what sting she has and what a voice! I can tell +you one day she posted herself on the top of the belfry of the village to +call some labourers of theirs that were in a ploughed field of her +father's, and though they were better than half a league off they heard +her as well as if they were at the foot of the tower; and the best of her +is that she is not a bit prudish, for she has plenty of affability, and +jokes with everybody, and has a grin and a jest for everything. So, Sir +Knight of the Rueful Countenance, I say you not only may and ought to do +mad freaks for her sake, but you have a good right to give way to despair +and hang yourself; and no one who knows of it but will say you did well, +though the devil should take you; and I wish I were on my road already, +simply to see her, for it is many a day since I saw her, and she must be +altered by this time, for going about the fields always, and the sun and +the air spoil women's looks greatly. But I must own the truth to your +worship, Senor Don Quixote; until now I have been under a great mistake, +for I believed truly and honestly that the lady Dulcinea must be some +princess your worship was in love with, or some person great enough to +deserve the rich presents you have sent her, such as the Biscayan and the +galley slaves, and many more no doubt, for your worship must have won +many victories in the time when I was not yet your squire. But all things +considered, what good can it do the lady Aldonza Lorenzo, I mean the lady +Dulcinea del Toboso, to have the vanquished your worship sends or will +send coming to her and going down on their knees before her? Because may +be when they came she'd be hackling flax or threshing on the threshing +floor, and they'd be ashamed to see her, and she'd laugh, or resent the +present." + +"I have before now told thee many times, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "that +thou art a mighty great chatterer, and that with a blunt wit thou art +always striving at sharpness; but to show thee what a fool thou art and +how rational I am, I would have thee listen to a short story. Thou must +know that a certain widow, fair, young, independent, and rich, and above +all free and easy, fell in love with a sturdy strapping young +lay-brother; his superior came to know of it, and one day said to the +worthy widow by way of brotherly remonstrance, 'I am surprised, senora, +and not without good reason, that a woman of such high standing, so fair, +and so rich as you are, should have fallen in love with such a mean, low, +stupid fellow as So-and-so, when in this house there are so many masters, +graduates, and divinity students from among whom you might choose as if +they were a lot of pears, saying this one I'll take, that I won't take;' +but she replied to him with great sprightliness and candour, 'My dear +sir, you are very much mistaken, and your ideas are very old-fashioned, +if you think that I have made a bad choice in So-and-so, fool as he +seems; because for all I want with him he knows as much and more +philosophy than Aristotle.' In the same way, Sancho, for all I want with +Dulcinea del Toboso she is just as good as the most exalted princess on +earth. It is not to be supposed that all those poets who sang the praises +of ladies under the fancy names they give them, had any such mistresses. +Thinkest thou that the Amarillises, the Phillises, the Sylvias, the +Dianas, the Galateas, the Filidas, and all the rest of them, that the +books, the ballads, the barber's shops, the theatres are full of, were +really and truly ladies of flesh and blood, and mistresses of those that +glorify and have glorified them? Nothing of the kind; they only invent +them for the most part to furnish a subject for their verses, and that +they may pass for lovers, or for men valiant enough to be so; and so it +suffices me to think and believe that the good Aldonza Lorenzo is fair +and virtuous; and as to her pedigree it is very little matter, for no one +will examine into it for the purpose of conferring any order upon her, +and I, for my part, reckon her the most exalted princess in the world. +For thou shouldst know, Sancho, if thou dost not know, that two things +alone beyond all others are incentives to love, and these are great +beauty and a good name, and these two things are to be found in Dulcinea +in the highest degree, for in beauty no one equals her and in good name +few approach her; and to put the whole thing in a nutshell, I persuade +myself that all I say is as I say, neither more nor less, and I picture +her in my imagination as I would have her to be, as well in beauty as in +condition; Helen approaches her not nor does Lucretia come up to her, nor +any other of the famous women of times past, Greek, Barbarian, or Latin; +and let each say what he will, for if in this I am taken to task by the +ignorant, I shall not be censured by the critical." + +"I say that your worship is entirely right," said Sancho, "and that I am +an ass. But I know not how the name of ass came into my mouth, for a rope +is not to be mentioned in the house of him who has been hanged; but now +for the letter, and then, God be with you, I am off." + +Don Quixote took out the note-book, and, retiring to one side, very +deliberately began to write the letter, and when he had finished it he +called to Sancho, saying he wished to read it to him, so that he might +commit it to memory, in case of losing it on the road; for with evil +fortune like his anything might be apprehended. To which Sancho replied, +"Write it two or three times there in the book and give it to me, and I +will carry it very carefully, because to expect me to keep it in my +memory is all nonsense, for I have such a bad one that I often forget my +own name; but for all that repeat it to me, as I shall like to hear it, +for surely it will run as if it was in print." + +"Listen," said Don Quixote, "this is what it says: + +"DON QUIXOTE'S LETTER TO DULCINEA DEL TOBOSO + +"Sovereign and exalted Lady,--The pierced by the point of absence, the +wounded to the heart's core, sends thee, sweetest Dulcinea del Toboso, +the health that he himself enjoys not. If thy beauty despises me, if thy +worth is not for me, if thy scorn is my affliction, though I be +sufficiently long-suffering, hardly shall I endure this anxiety, which, +besides being oppressive, is protracted. My good squire Sancho will +relate to thee in full, fair ingrate, dear enemy, the condition to which +I am reduced on thy account: if it be thy pleasure to give me relief, I +am thine; if not, do as may be pleasing to thee; for by ending my life I +shall satisfy thy cruelty and my desire. + +"Thine till death, + +"The Knight of the Rueful Countenance." + +"By the life of my father," said Sancho, when he heard the letter, "it is +the loftiest thing I ever heard. Body of me! how your worship says +everything as you like in it! And how well you fit in 'The Knight of the +Rueful Countenance' into the signature. I declare your worship is indeed +the very devil, and there is nothing you don't know." + +"Everything is needed for the calling I follow," said Don Quixote. + +"Now then," said Sancho, "let your worship put the order for the three +ass-colts on the other side, and sign it very plainly, that they may +recognise it at first sight." + +"With all my heart," said Don Quixote, and as he had written it he read +it to this effect: + +"Mistress Niece,--By this first of ass-colts please pay to Sancho Panza, +my squire, three of the five I left at home in your charge: said three +ass-colts to be paid and delivered for the same number received here in +hand, which upon this and upon his receipt shall be duly paid. Done in +the heart of the Sierra Morena, the twenty-seventh of August of this +present year." + +"That will do," said Sancho; "now let your worship sign it." + +"There is no need to sign it," said Don Quixote, "but merely to put my +flourish, which is the same as a signature, and enough for three asses, +or even three hundred." + +"I can trust your worship," returned Sancho; "let me go and saddle +Rocinante, and be ready to give me your blessing, for I mean to go at +once without seeing the fooleries your worship is going to do; I'll say I +saw you do so many that she will not want any more." + +"At any rate, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "I should like--and there is +reason for it--I should like thee, I say, to see me stripped to the skin +and performing a dozen or two of insanities, which I can get done in less +than half an hour; for having seen them with thine own eyes, thou canst +then safely swear to the rest that thou wouldst add; and I promise thee +thou wilt not tell of as many as I mean to perform." + +"For the love of God, master mine," said Sancho, "let me not see your +worship stripped, for it will sorely grieve me, and I shall not be able +to keep from tears, and my head aches so with all I shed last night for +Dapple, that I am not fit to begin any fresh weeping; but if it is your +worship's pleasure that I should see some insanities, do them in your +clothes, short ones, and such as come readiest to hand; for I myself want +nothing of the sort, and, as I have said, it will be a saving of time for +my return, which will be with the news your worship desires and deserves. +If not, let the lady Dulcinea look to it; if she does not answer +reasonably, I swear as solemnly as I can that I will fetch a fair answer +out of her stomach with kicks and cuffs; for why should it be borne that +a knight-errant as famous as your worship should go mad without rhyme or +reason for a--? Her ladyship had best not drive me to say it, for by God +I will speak out and let off everything cheap, even if it doesn't sell: I +am pretty good at that! she little knows me; faith, if she knew me she'd +be in awe of me." + +"In faith, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "to all appearance thou art no +sounder in thy wits than I." + +"I am not so mad," answered Sancho, "but I am more peppery; but apart +from all this, what has your worship to eat until I come back? Will you +sally out on the road like Cardenio to force it from the shepherds?" + +"Let not that anxiety trouble thee," replied Don Quixote, "for even if I +had it I should not eat anything but the herbs and the fruits which this +meadow and these trees may yield me; the beauty of this business of mine +lies in not eating, and in performing other mortifications." + +"Do you know what I am afraid of?" said Sancho upon this; "that I shall +not be able to find my way back to this spot where I am leaving you, it +is such an out-of-the-way place." + +"Observe the landmarks well," said Don Quixote, "for I will try not to go +far from this neighbourhood, and I will even take care to mount the +highest of these rocks to see if I can discover thee returning; however, +not to miss me and lose thyself, the best plan will be to cut some +branches of the broom that is so abundant about here, and as thou goest +to lay them at intervals until thou hast come out upon the plain; these +will serve thee, after the fashion of the clue in the labyrinth of +Theseus, as marks and signs for finding me on thy return." + +"So I will," said Sancho Panza, and having cut some, he asked his +master's blessing, and not without many tears on both sides, took his +leave of him, and mounting Rocinante, of whom Don Quixote charged him +earnestly to have as much care as of his own person, he set out for the +plain, strewing at intervals the branches of broom as his master had +recommended him; and so he went his way, though Don Quixote still +entreated him to see him do were it only a couple of mad acts. He had not +gone a hundred paces, however, when he returned and said: + +"I must say, senor, your worship said quite right, that in order to be +able to swear without a weight on my conscience that I had seen you do +mad things, it would be well for me to see if it were only one; though in +your worship's remaining here I have seen a very great one." + +"Did I not tell thee so?" said Don Quixote. "Wait, Sancho, and I will do +them in the saying of a credo," and pulling off his breeches in all haste +he stripped himself to his skin and his shirt, and then, without more +ado, he cut a couple of gambados in the air, and a couple of somersaults, +heels over head, making such a display that, not to see it a second time, +Sancho wheeled Rocinante round, and felt easy, and satisfied in his mind +that he could swear he had left his master mad; and so we will leave him +to follow his road until his return, which was a quick one. + +Chapter XXVI. - +In which are continued the refinements wherewith Don Quixote played the +part of a lover in the Sierra Morena + +Returning to the proceedings of him of the Rueful Countenance when he +found himself alone, the history says that when Don Quixote had completed +the performance of the somersaults or capers, naked from the waist down +and clothed from the waist up, and saw that Sancho had gone off without +waiting to see any more crazy feats, he climbed up to the top of a high +rock, and there set himself to consider what he had several times before +considered without ever coming to any conclusion on the point, namely +whether it would be better and more to his purpose to imitate the +outrageous madness of Roland, or the melancholy madness of Amadis; and +communing with himself he said: + +"What wonder is it if Roland was so good a knight and so valiant as +everyone says he was, when, after all, he was enchanted, and nobody could +kill him save by thrusting a corking pin into the sole of his foot, and +he always wore shoes with seven iron soles? Though cunning devices did +not avail him against Bernardo del Carpio, who knew all about them, and +strangled him in his arms at Roncesvalles. But putting the question of +his valour aside, let us come to his losing his wits, for certain it is +that he did lose them in consequence of the proofs he discovered at the +fountain, and the intelligence the shepherd gave him of Angelica having +slept more than two siestas with Medoro, a little curly-headed Moor, and +page to Agramante. If he was persuaded that this was true, and that his +lady had wronged him, it is no wonder that he should have gone mad; but +I, how am I to imitate him in his madness, unless I can imitate him in +the cause of it? For my Dulcinea, I will venture to swear, never saw a +Moor in her life, as he is, in his proper costume, and she is this day as +the mother that bore her, and I should plainly be doing her a wrong if, +fancying anything else, I were to go mad with the same kind of madness as +Roland the Furious. On the other hand, I see that Amadis of Gaul, without +losing his senses and without doing anything mad, acquired as a lover as +much fame as the most famous; for, according to his history, on finding +himself rejected by his lady Oriana, who had ordered him not to appear in +her presence until it should be her pleasure, all he did was to retire to +the Pena Pobre in company with a hermit, and there he took his fill of +weeping until Heaven sent him relief in the midst of his great grief and +need. And if this be true, as it is, why should I now take the trouble to +strip stark naked, or do mischief to these trees which have done me no +harm, or why am I to disturb the clear waters of these brooks which will +give me to drink whenever I have a mind? Long live the memory of Amadis +and let him be imitated so far as is possible by Don Quixote of La +Mancha, of whom it will be said, as was said of the other, that if he did +not achieve great things, he died in attempting them; and if I am not +repulsed or rejected by my Dulcinea, it is enough for me, as I have said, +to be absent from her. And so, now to business; come to my memory ye +deeds of Amadis, and show me how I am to begin to imitate you. I know +already that what he chiefly did was to pray and commend himself to God; +but what am I to do for a rosary, for I have not got one?" + +And then it occurred to him how he might make one, and that was by +tearing a great strip off the tail of his shirt which hung down, and +making eleven knots on it, one bigger than the rest, and this served him +for a rosary all the time he was there, during which he repeated +countless ave-marias. But what distressed him greatly was not having +another hermit there to confess him and receive consolation from; and so +he solaced himself with pacing up and down the little meadow, and writing +and carving on the bark of the trees and on the fine sand a multitude of +verses all in harmony with his sadness, and some in praise of Dulcinea; +but, when he was found there afterwards, the only ones completely legible +that could be discovered were those that follow here: + +poem{ + +Ye on the mountain side that grow, + Ye green things all, trees, shrubs, and bushes, +Are ye aweary of the woe + That this poor aching bosom crushes? +If it disturb you, and I owe + Some reparation, it may be a +Defence for me to let you know +Don Quixote's tears are on the flow, + And all for distant Dulcinea + Del Toboso. + +The lealest lover time can show, + Doomed for a lady-love to languish, +Among these solitudes doth go, + A prey to every kind of anguish. +Why Love should like a spiteful foe + Thus use him, he hath no idea, +But hogsheads full--this doth he know-- +Don Quixote's tears are on the flow, + And all for distant Dulcinea + Del Toboso. + +Adventure-seeking doth he go + Up rugged heights, down rocky valleys, +But hill or dale, or high or low, + Mishap attendeth all his sallies: +Love still pursues him to and fro, + And plies his cruel scourge--ah me! a +Relentless fate, an endless woe; +Don Quixote's tears are on the flow, + And all for distant Dulcinea + Del Toboso. + +}poem + +The addition of "Del Toboso" to Dulcinea's name gave rise to no little +laughter among those who found the above lines, for they suspected Don +Quixote must have fancied that unless he added "del Toboso" when he +introduced the name of Dulcinea the verse would be unintelligible; which +was indeed the fact, as he himself afterwards admitted. He wrote many +more, but, as has been said, these three verses were all that could be +plainly and perfectly deciphered. In this way, and in sighing and calling +on the fauns and satyrs of the woods and the nymphs of the streams, and +Echo, moist and mournful, to answer, console, and hear him, as well as in +looking for herbs to sustain him, he passed his time until Sancho's +return; and had that been delayed three weeks, as it was three days, the +Knight of the Rueful Countenance would have worn such an altered +countenance that the mother that bore him would not have known him: and +here it will be well to leave him, wrapped up in sighs and verses, to +relate how Sancho Panza fared on his mission. + +As for him, coming out upon the high road, he made for El Toboso, and the +next day reached the inn where the mishap of the blanket had befallen +him. As soon as he recognised it he felt as if he were once more living +through the air, and he could not bring himself to enter it though it was +an hour when he might well have done so, for it was dinner-time, and he +longed to taste something hot as it had been all cold fare with him for +many days past. This craving drove him to draw near to the inn, still +undecided whether to go in or not, and as he was hesitating there came +out two persons who at once recognised him, and said one to the other: + +"Senor licentiate, is not he on the horse there Sancho Panza who, our +adventurer's housekeeper told us, went off with her master as esquire?" + +"So it is," said the licentiate, "and that is our friend Don Quixote's +horse;" and if they knew him so well it was because they were the curate +and the barber of his own village, the same who had carried out the +scrutiny and sentence upon the books; and as soon as they recognised +Sancho Panza and Rocinante, being anxious to hear of Don Quixote, they +approached, and calling him by his name the curate said, "Friend Sancho +Panza, where is your master?" + +Sancho recognised them at once, and determined to keep secret the place +and circumstances where and under which he had left his master, so he +replied that his master was engaged in a certain quarter on a certain +matter of great importance to him which he could not disclose for the +eyes in his head. + +"Nay, nay," said the barber, "if you don't tell us where he is, Sancho +Panza, we will suspect as we suspect already, that you have murdered and +robbed him, for here you are mounted on his horse; in fact, you must +produce the master of the hack, or else take the consequences." + +"There is no need of threats with me," said Sancho, "for I am not a man +to rob or murder anybody; let his own fate, or God who made him, kill +each one; my master is engaged very much to his taste doing penance in +the midst of these mountains;" and then, offhand and without stopping, he +told them how he had left him, what adventures had befallen him, and how +he was carrying a letter to the lady Dulcinea del Toboso, the daughter of +Lorenzo Corchuelo, with whom he was over head and ears in love. They were +both amazed at what Sancho Panza told them; for though they were aware of +Don Quixote's madness and the nature of it, each time they heard of it +they were filled with fresh wonder. They then asked Sancho Panza to show +them the letter he was carrying to the lady Dulcinea del Toboso. He said +it was written in a note-book, and that his master's directions were that +he should have it copied on paper at the first village he came to. On +this the curate said if he showed it to him, he himself would make a fair +copy of it. Sancho put his hand into his bosom in search of the note-book +but could not find it, nor, if he had been searching until now, could he +have found it, for Don Quixote had kept it, and had never given it to +him, nor had he himself thought of asking for it. When Sancho discovered +he could not find the book his face grew deadly pale, and in great haste +he again felt his body all over, and seeing plainly it was not to be +found, without more ado he seized his beard with both hands and plucked +away half of it, and then, as quick as he could and without stopping, +gave himself half a dozen cuffs on the face and nose till they were +bathed in blood. + +Seeing this, the curate and the barber asked him what had happened him +that he gave himself such rough treatment. + +"What should happen me?" replied Sancho, "but to have lost from one hand +to the other, in a moment, three ass-colts, each of them like a castle?" + +"How is that?" said the barber. + +"I have lost the note-book," said Sancho, "that contained the letter to +Dulcinea, and an order signed by my master in which he directed his niece +to give me three ass-colts out of four or five he had at home;" and he +then told them about the loss of Dapple. + +The curate consoled him, telling him that when his master was found he +would get him to renew the order, and make a fresh draft on paper, as was +usual and customary; for those made in notebooks were never accepted or +honoured. + +Sancho comforted himself with this, and said if that were so the loss of +Dulcinea's letter did not trouble him much, for he had it almost by +heart, and it could be taken down from him wherever and whenever they +liked. + +"Repeat it then, Sancho," said the barber, "and we will write it down +afterwards." + +Sancho Panza stopped to scratch his head to bring back the letter to his +memory, and balanced himself now on one foot, now the other, one moment +staring at the ground, the next at the sky, and after having half gnawed +off the end of a finger and kept them in suspense waiting for him to +begin, he said, after a long pause, "By God, senor licentiate, devil a +thing can I recollect of the letter; but it said at the beginning, +'Exalted and scrubbing Lady.'" + +"It cannot have said 'scrubbing,'" said the barber, "but 'superhuman' or +'sovereign.'" + +"That is it," said Sancho; "then, as well as I remember, it went on, 'The +wounded, and wanting of sleep, and the pierced, kisses your worship's +hands, ungrateful and very unrecognised fair one; and it said something +or other about health and sickness that he was sending her; and from that +it went tailing off until it ended with 'Yours till death, the Knight of +the Rueful Countenance." + +It gave them no little amusement, both of them, to see what a good memory +Sancho had, and they complimented him greatly upon it, and begged him to +repeat the letter a couple of times more, so that they too might get it +by heart to write it out by-and-by. Sancho repeated it three times, and +as he did, uttered three thousand more absurdities; then he told them +more about his master but he never said a word about the blanketing that +had befallen himself in that inn, into which he refused to enter. He told +them, moreover, how his lord, if he brought him a favourable answer from +the lady Dulcinea del Toboso, was to put himself in the way of +endeavouring to become an emperor, or at least a monarch; for it had been +so settled between them, and with his personal worth and the might of his +arm it was an easy matter to come to be one: and how on becoming one his +lord was to make a marriage for him (for he would be a widower by that +time, as a matter of course) and was to give him as a wife one of the +damsels of the empress, the heiress of some rich and grand state on the +mainland, having nothing to do with islands of any sort, for he did not +care for them now. All this Sancho delivered with so much +composure--wiping his nose from time to time--and with so little +common-sense that his two hearers were again filled with wonder at the +force of Don Quixote's madness that could run away with this poor man's +reason. They did not care to take the trouble of disabusing him of his +error, as they considered that since it did not in any way hurt his +conscience it would be better to leave him in it, and they would have all +the more amusement in listening to his simplicities; and so they bade him +pray to God for his lord's health, as it was a very likely and a very +feasible thing for him in course of time to come to be an emperor, as he +said, or at least an archbishop or some other dignitary of equal rank. + +To which Sancho made answer, "If fortune, sirs, should bring things about +in such a way that my master should have a mind, instead of being an +emperor, to be an archbishop, I should like to know what +archbishops-errant commonly give their squires?" + +"They commonly give them," said the curate, some simple benefice or cure, +or some place as sacristan which brings them a good fixed income, not +counting the altar fees, which may be reckoned at as much more." + +"But for that," said Sancho, "the squire must be unmarried, and must +know, at any rate, how to help at mass, and if that be so, woe is me, for +I am married already and I don't know the first letter of the A B C. What +will become of me if my master takes a fancy to be an archbishop and not +an emperor, as is usual and customary with knights-errant?" + +"Be not uneasy, friend Sancho," said the barber, "for we will entreat +your master, and advise him, even urging it upon him as a case of +conscience, to become an emperor and not an archbishop, because it will +be easier for him as he is more valiant than lettered." + +"So I have thought," said Sancho; "though I can tell you he is fit for +anything: what I mean to do for my part is to pray to our Lord to place +him where it may be best for him, and where he may be able to bestow most +favours upon me." + +"You speak like a man of sense," said the curate, "and you will be acting +like a good Christian; but what must now be done is to take steps to coax +your master out of that useless penance you say he is performing; and we +had best turn into this inn to consider what plan to adopt, and also to +dine, for it is now time." + +Sancho said they might go in, but that he would wait there outside, and +that he would tell them afterwards the reason why he was unwilling, and +why it did not suit him to enter it; but he begged them to bring him out +something to eat, and to let it be hot, and also to bring barley for +Rocinante. They left him and went in, and presently the barber brought +him out something to eat. By-and-by, after they had between them +carefully thought over what they should do to carry out their object, the +curate hit upon an idea very well adapted to humour Don Quixote, and +effect their purpose; and his notion, which he explained to the barber, +was that he himself should assume the disguise of a wandering damsel, +while the other should try as best he could to pass for a squire, and +that they should thus proceed to where Don Quixote was, and he, +pretending to be an aggrieved and distressed damsel, should ask a favour +of him, which as a valiant knight-errant he could not refuse to grant; +and the favour he meant to ask him was that he should accompany her +whither she would conduct him, in order to redress a wrong which a wicked +knight had done her, while at the same time she should entreat him not to +require her to remove her mask, nor ask her any question touching her +circumstances until he had righted her with the wicked knight. And he had +no doubt that Don Quixote would comply with any request made in these +terms, and that in this way they might remove him and take him to his own +village, where they would endeavour to find out if his extraordinary +madness admitted of any kind of remedy. + +Chapter XXVII. - +Of how the curate and the barber proceeded with their scheme; together +with other matters worthy of record in this great history + +The curate's plan did not seem a bad one to the barber, but on the +contrary so good that they immediately set about putting it in execution. +They begged a petticoat and hood of the landlady, leaving her in pledge a +new cassock of the curate's; and the barber made a beard out of a +grey-brown or red ox-tail in which the landlord used to stick his comb. +The landlady asked them what they wanted these things for, and the curate +told her in a few words about the madness of Don Quixote, and how this +disguise was intended to get him away from the mountain where he then +was. The landlord and landlady immediately came to the conclusion that +the madman was their guest, the balsam man and master of the blanketed +squire, and they told the curate all that had passed between him and +them, not omitting what Sancho had been so silent about. Finally the +landlady dressed up the curate in a style that left nothing to be +desired; she put on him a cloth petticoat with black velvet stripes a +palm broad, all slashed, and a bodice of green velvet set off by a +binding of white satin, which as well as the petticoat must have been +made in the time of king Wamba. The curate would not let them hood him, +but put on his head a little quilted linen cap which he used for a +night-cap, and bound his forehead with a strip of black silk, while with +another he made a mask with which he concealed his beard and face very +well. He then put on his hat, which was broad enough to serve him for an +umbrella, and enveloping himself in his cloak seated himself +woman-fashion on his mule, while the barber mounted his with a beard down +to the waist of mingled red and white, for it was, as has been said, the +tail of a clay-red ox. + +They took leave of all, and of the good Maritornes, who, sinner as she +was, promised to pray a rosary of prayers that God might grant them +success in such an arduous and Christian undertaking as that they had in +hand. But hardly had he sallied forth from the inn when it struck the +curate that he was doing wrong in rigging himself out in that fashion, as +it was an indecorous thing for a priest to dress himself that way even +though much might depend upon it; and saying so to the barber he begged +him to change dresses, as it was fitter he should be the distressed +damsel, while he himself would play the squire's part, which would be +less derogatory to his dignity; otherwise he was resolved to have nothing +more to do with the matter, and let the devil take Don Quixote. Just at +this moment Sancho came up, and on seeing the pair in such a costume he +was unable to restrain his laughter; the barber, however, agreed to do as +the curate wished, and, altering their plan, the curate went on to +instruct him how to play his part and what to say to Don Quixote to +induce and compel him to come with them and give up his fancy for the +place he had chosen for his idle penance. The barber told him he could +manage it properly without any instruction, and as he did not care to +dress himself up until they were near where Don Quixote was, he folded up +the garments, and the curate adjusted his beard, and they set out under +the guidance of Sancho Panza, who went along telling them of the +encounter with the madman they met in the Sierra, saying nothing, +however, about the finding of the valise and its contents; for with all +his simplicity the lad was a trifle covetous. + +The next day they reached the place where Sancho had laid the +broom-branches as marks to direct him to where he had left his master, +and recognising it he told them that here was the entrance, and that they +would do well to dress themselves, if that was required to deliver his +master; for they had already told him that going in this guise and +dressing in this way were of the highest importance in order to rescue +his master from the pernicious life he had adopted; and they charged him +strictly not to tell his master who they were, or that he knew them, and +should he ask, as ask he would, if he had given the letter to Dulcinea, +to say that he had, and that, as she did not know how to read, she had +given an answer by word of mouth, saying that she commanded him, on pain +of her displeasure, to come and see her at once; and it was a very +important matter for himself, because in this way and with what they +meant to say to him they felt sure of bringing him back to a better mode +of life and inducing him to take immediate steps to become an emperor or +monarch, for there was no fear of his becoming an archbishop. All this +Sancho listened to and fixed it well in his memory, and thanked them +heartily for intending to recommend his master to be an emperor instead +of an archbishop, for he felt sure that in the way of bestowing rewards +on their squires emperors could do more than archbishops-errant. He said, +too, that it would be as well for him to go on before them to find him, +and give him his lady's answer; for that perhaps might be enough to bring +him away from the place without putting them to all this trouble. They +approved of what Sancho proposed, and resolved to wait for him until he +brought back word of having found his master. + +Sancho pushed on into the glens of the Sierra, leaving them in one +through which there flowed a little gentle rivulet, and where the rocks +and trees afforded a cool and grateful shade. It was an August day with +all the heat of one, and the heat in those parts is intense, and the hour +was three in the afternoon, all which made the spot the more inviting and +tempted them to wait there for Sancho's return, which they did. They were +reposing, then, in the shade, when a voice unaccompanied by the notes of +any instrument, but sweet and pleasing in its tone, reached their ears, +at which they were not a little astonished, as the place did not seem to +them likely quarters for one who sang so well; for though it is often +said that shepherds of rare voice are to be found in the woods and +fields, this is rather a flight of the poet's fancy than the truth. And +still more surprised were they when they perceived that what they heard +sung were the verses not of rustic shepherds, but of the polished wits of +the city; and so it proved, for the verses they heard were these: + +poem{ + +What makes my quest of happiness seem vain? + Disdain. +What bids me to abandon hope of ease? + Jealousies. +What holds my heart in anguish of suspense? + Absence. + If that be so, then for my grief + Where shall I turn to seek relief, + When hope on every side lies slain + By Absence, Jealousies, Disdain? + +What the prime cause of all my woe doth prove? + Love. +What at my glory ever looks askance? + Chance. +Whence is permission to afflict me given? + Heaven. + If that be so, I but await + The stroke of a resistless fate, + Since, working for my woe, these three, + Love, Chance and Heaven, in league I see. + +What must I do to find a remedy? + Die. +What is the lure for love when coy and strange? + Change. +What, if all fail, will cure the heart of sadness? + Madness. + If that be so, it is but folly + To seek a cure for melancholy: + Ask where it lies; the answer saith + In Change, in Madness, or in Death. + +}poem + +The hour, the summer season, the solitary place, the voice and skill of +the singer, all contributed to the wonder and delight of the two +listeners, who remained still waiting to hear something more; finding, +however, that the silence continued some little time, they resolved to go +in search of the musician who sang with so fine a voice; but just as they +were about to do so they were checked by the same voice, which once more +fell upon their ears, singing this + +poem{ + +SONNET + +When heavenward, holy Friendship, thou didst go + Soaring to seek thy home beyond the sky, + And take thy seat among the saints on high, +It was thy will to leave on earth below +Thy semblance, and upon it to bestow + Thy veil, wherewith at times hypocrisy, + Parading in thy shape, deceives the eye, +And makes its vileness bright as virtue show. +Friendship, return to us, or force the cheat + That wears it now, thy livery to restore, + By aid whereof sincerity is slain. +If thou wilt not unmask thy counterfeit, + This earth will be the prey of strife once more, + As when primaeval discord held its reign. + +}poem + +The song ended with a deep sigh, and again the listeners remained waiting +attentively for the singer to resume; but perceiving that the music had +now turned to sobs and heart-rending moans they determined to find out +who the unhappy being could be whose voice was as rare as his sighs were +piteous, and they had not proceeded far when on turning the corner of a +rock they discovered a man of the same aspect and appearance as Sancho +had described to them when he told them the story of Cardenio. He, +showing no astonishment when he saw them, stood still with his head bent +down upon his breast like one in deep thought, without raising his eyes +to look at them after the first glance when they suddenly came upon him. +The curate, who was aware of his misfortune and recognised him by the +description, being a man of good address, approached him and in a few +sensible words entreated and urged him to quit a life of such misery, +lest he should end it there, which would be the greatest of all +misfortunes. Cardenio was then in his right mind, free from any attack of +that madness which so frequently carried him away, and seeing them +dressed in a fashion so unusual among the frequenters of those wilds, +could not help showing some surprise, especially when he heard them speak +of his case as if it were a well-known matter (for the curate's words +gave him to understand as much) so he replied to them thus: + +"I see plainly, sirs, whoever you may be, that Heaven, whose care it is +to succour the good, and even the wicked very often, here, in this remote +spot, cut off from human intercourse, sends me, though I deserve it not, +those who seek to draw me away from this to some better retreat, showing +me by many and forcible arguments how unreasonably I act in leading the +life I do; but as they know, that if I escape from this evil I shall fall +into another still greater, perhaps they will set me down as a +weak-minded man, or, what is worse, one devoid of reason; nor would it be +any wonder, for I myself can perceive that the effect of the recollection +of my misfortunes is so great and works so powerfully to my ruin, that in +spite of myself I become at times like a stone, without feeling or +consciousness; and I come to feel the truth of it when they tell me and +show me proofs of the things I have done when the terrible fit +overmasters me; and all I can do is bewail my lot in vain, and idly curse +my destiny, and plead for my madness by telling how it was caused, to any +that care to hear it; for no reasonable beings on learning the cause will +wonder at the effects; and if they cannot help me at least they will not +blame me, and the repugnance they feel at my wild ways will turn into +pity for my woes. If it be, sirs, that you are here with the same design +as others have come wah, before you proceed with your wise arguments, I +entreat you to hear the story of my countless misfortunes, for perhaps +when you have heard it you will spare yourselves the trouble you would +take in offering consolation to grief that is beyond the reach of it." + +As they, both of them, desired nothing more than to hear from his own +lips the cause of his suffering, they entreated him to tell it, promising +not to do anything for his relief or comfort that he did not wish; and +thereupon the unhappy gentleman began his sad story in nearly the same +words and manner in which he had related it to Don Quixote and the +goatherd a few days before, when, through Master Elisabad, and Don +Quixote's scrupulous observance of what was due to chivalry, the tale was +left unfinished, as this history has already recorded; but now +fortunately the mad fit kept off, allowed him to tell it to the end; and +so, coming to the incident of the note which Don Fernando had found in +the volume of "Amadis of Gaul," Cardenio said that he remembered it +perfectly and that it was in these words: + +"Luscinda to Cardenio. + +"Every day I discover merits in you that oblige and compel me to hold you +in higher estimation; so if you desire to relieve me of this obligation +without cost to my honour, you may easily do so. I have a father who +knows you and loves me dearly, who without putting any constraint on my +inclination will grant what will be reasonable for you to have, if it be +that you value me as you say and as I believe you do." + +"By this letter I was induced, as I told you, to demand Luscinda for my +wife, and it was through it that Luscinda came to be regarded by Don +Fernando as one of the most discreet and prudent women of the day, and +this letter it was that suggested his design of ruining me before mine +could be carried into effect. I told Don Fernando that all Luscinda's +father was waiting for was that mine should ask her of him, which I did +not dare to suggest to him, fearing that he would not consent to do so; +not because he did not know perfectly well the rank, goodness, virtue, +and beauty of Luscinda, and that she had qualities that would do honour +to any family in Spain, but because I was aware that he did not wish me +to marry so soon, before seeing what the Duke Ricardo would do for me. In +short, I told him I did not venture to mention it to my father, as well +on account of that difficulty, as of many others that discouraged me +though I knew not well what they were, only that it seemed to me that +what I desired was never to come to pass. To all this Don Fernando +answered that he would take it upon himself to speak to my father, and +persuade him to speak to Luscinda's father. O, ambitious Marius! O, cruel +Catiline! O, wicked Sylla! O, perfidious Ganelon! O, treacherous Vellido! +O, vindictive Julian! O, covetous Judas! Traitor, cruel, vindictive, and +perfidious, wherein had this poor wretch failed in his fidelity, who with +such frankness showed thee the secrets and the joys of his heart? What +offence did I commit? What words did I utter, or what counsels did I give +that had not the furtherance of thy honour and welfare for their aim? +But, woe is me, wherefore do I complain? for sure it is that when +misfortunes spring from the stars, descending from on high they fall upon +us with such fury and violence that no power on earth can check their +course nor human device stay their coming. Who could have thought that +Don Fernando, a highborn gentleman, intelligent, bound to me by gratitude +for my services, one that could win the object of his love wherever he +might set his affections, could have become so obdurate, as they say, as +to rob me of my one ewe lamb that was not even yet in my possession? But +laying aside these useless and unavailing reflections, let us take up the +broken thread of my unhappy story. + +"To proceed, then: Don Fernando finding my presence an obstacle to the +execution of his treacherous and wicked design, resolved to send me to +his elder brother under the pretext of asking money from him to pay for +six horses which, purposely, and with the sole object of sending me away +that he might the better carry out his infernal scheme, he had purchased +the very day he offered to speak to my father, and the price of which he +now desired me to fetch. Could I have anticipated this treachery? Could I +by any chance have suspected it? Nay; so far from that, I offered with +the greatest pleasure to go at once, in my satisfaction at the good +bargain that had been made. That night I spoke with Luscinda, and told +her what had been agreed upon with Don Fernando, and how I had strong +hopes of our fair and reasonable wishes being realised. She, as +unsuspicious as I was of the treachery of Don Fernando, bade me try to +return speedily, as she believed the fulfilment of our desires would be +delayed only so long as my father put off speaking to hers. I know not +why it was that on saying this to me her eyes filled with tears, and +there came a lump in her throat that prevented her from uttering a word +of many more that it seemed to me she was striving to say to me. I was +astonished at this unusual turn, which I never before observed in her. +for we always conversed, whenever good fortune and my ingenuity gave us +the chance, with the greatest gaiety and cheerfulness, mingling tears, +sighs, jealousies, doubts, or fears with our words; it was all on my part +a eulogy of my good fortune that Heaven should have given her to me for +my mistress; I glorified her beauty, I extolled her worth and her +understanding; and she paid me back by praising in me what in her love +for me she thought worthy of praise; and besides we had a hundred +thousand trifles and doings of our neighbours and acquaintances to talk +about, and the utmost extent of my boldness was to take, almost by force, +one of her fair white hands and carry it to my lips, as well as the +closeness of the low grating that separated us allowed me. But the night +before the unhappy day of my departure she wept, she moaned, she sighed, +and she withdrew leaving me filled with perplexity and amazement, +overwhelmed at the sight of such strange and affecting signs of grief and +sorrow in Luscinda; but not to dash my hopes I ascribed it all to the +depth of her love for me and the pain that separation gives those who +love tenderly. At last I took my departure, sad and dejected, my heart +filled with fancies and suspicions, but not knowing well what it was I +suspected or fancied; plain omens pointing to the sad event and +misfortune that was awaiting me. + +"I reached the place whither I had been sent, gave the letter to Don +Fernando's brother, and was kindly received but not promptly dismissed, +for he desired me to wait, very much against my will, eight days in some +place where the duke his father was not likely to see me, as his brother +wrote that the money was to be sent without his knowledge; all of which +was a scheme of the treacherous Don Fernando, for his brother had no want +of money to enable him to despatch me at once. + +"The command was one that exposed me to the temptation of disobeying it, +as it seemed to me impossible to endure life for so many days separated +from Luscinda, especially after leaving her in the sorrowful mood I have +described to you; nevertheless as a dutiful servant I obeyed, though I +felt it would be at the cost of my well-being. But four days later there +came a man in quest of me with a letter which he gave me, and which by +the address I perceived to be from Luscinda, as the writing was hers. I +opened it with fear and trepidation, persuaded that it must be something +serious that had impelled her to write to me when at a distance, as she +seldom did so when I was near. Before reading it I asked the man who it +was that had given it to him, and how long he had been upon the road; he +told me that as he happened to be passing through one of the streets of +the city at the hour of noon, a very beautiful lady called to him from a +window, and with tears in her eyes said to him hurriedly, 'Brother, if +you are, as you seem to be, a Christian, for the love of God I entreat +you to have this letter despatched without a moment's delay to the place +and person named in the address, all which is well known, and by this you +will render a great service to our Lord; and that you may be at no +inconvenience in doing so take what is in this handkerchief;' and said +he, 'with this she threw me a handkerchief out of the window in which +were tied up a hundred reals and this gold ring which I bring here +together with the letter I have given you. And then without waiting for +any answer she left the window, though not before she saw me take the +letter and the handkerchief, and I had by signs let her know that I would +do as she bade me; and so, seeing myself so well paid for the trouble I +would have in bringing it to you, and knowing by the address that it was +to you it was sent (for, senor, I know you very well), and also unable to +resist that beautiful lady's tears, I resolved to trust no one else, but +to come myself and give it to you, and in sixteen hours from the time +when it was given me I have made the journey, which, as you know, is +eighteen leagues.' + +"All the while the good-natured improvised courier was telling me this, I +hung upon his words, my legs trembling under me so that I could scarcely +stand. However, I opened the letter and read these words: + +"'The promise Don Fernando gave you to urge your father to speak to mine, +he has fulfilled much more to his own satisfaction than to your +advantage. I have to tell you, senor, that he has demanded me for a wife, +and my father, led away by what he considers Don Fernando's superiority +over you, has favoured his suit so cordially, that in two days hence the +betrothal is to take place with such secrecy and so privately that the +only witnesses are to be the Heavens above and a few of the household. +Picture to yourself the state I am in; judge if it be urgent for you to +come; the issue of the affair will show you whether I love you or not. +God grant this may come to your hand before mine shall be forced to link +itself with his who keeps so ill the faith that he has pledged.' + +"Such, in brief, were the words of the letter, words that made me set out +at once without waiting any longer for reply or money; for I now saw +clearly that it was not the purchase of horses but of his own pleasure +that had made Don Fernando send me to his brother. The exasperation I +felt against Don Fernando, joined with the fear of losing the prize I had +won by so many years of love and devotion, lent me wings; so that almost +flying I reached home the same day, by the hour which served for speaking +with Luscinda. I arrived unobserved, and left the mule on which I had +come at the house of the worthy man who had brought me the letter, and +fortune was pleased to be for once so kind that I found Luscinda at the +grating that was the witness of our loves. She recognised me at once, and +I her, but not as she ought to have recognised me, or I her. But who is +there in the world that can boast of having fathomed or understood the +wavering mind and unstable nature of a woman? Of a truth no one. To +proceed: as soon as Luscinda saw me she said, 'Cardenio, I am in my +bridal dress, and the treacherous Don Fernando and my covetous father are +waiting for me in the hall with the other witnesses, who shall be the +witnesses of my death before they witness my betrothal. Be not +distressed, my friend, but contrive to be present at this sacrifice, and +if that cannot be prevented by my words, I have a dagger concealed which +will prevent more deliberate violence, putting an end to my life and +giving thee a first proof of the love I have borne and bear thee.' I +replied to her distractedly and hastily, in fear lest I should not have +time to reply, 'May thy words be verified by thy deeds, lady; and if thou +hast a dagger to save thy honour, I have a sword to defend thee or kill +myself if fortune be against us.' + +"I think she could not have heard all these words, for I perceived that +they called her away in haste, as the bridegroom was waiting. Now the +night of my sorrow set in, the sun of my happiness went down, I felt my +eyes bereft of sight, my mind of reason. I could not enter the house, nor +was I capable of any movement; but reflecting how important it was that I +should be present at what might take place on the occasion, I nerved +myself as best I could and went in, for I well knew all the entrances and +outlets; and besides, with the confusion that in secret pervaded the +house no one took notice of me, so, without being seen, I found an +opportunity of placing myself in the recess formed by a window of the +hall itself, and concealed by the ends and borders of two tapestries, +from between which I could, without being seen, see all that took place +in the room. Who could describe the agitation of heart I suffered as I +stood there--the thoughts that came to me--the reflections that passed +through my mind? They were such as cannot be, nor were it well they +should be, told. Suffice it to say that the bridegroom entered the hall +in his usual dress, without ornament of any kind; as groomsman he had +with him a cousin of Luscinda's and except the servants of the house +there was no one else in the chamber. Soon afterwards Luscinda came out +from an antechamber, attended by her mother and two of her damsels, +arrayed and adorned as became her rank and beauty, and in full festival +and ceremonial attire. My anxiety and distraction did not allow me to +observe or notice particularly what she wore; I could only perceive the +colours, which were crimson and white, and the glitter of the gems and +jewels on her head dress and apparel, surpassed by the rare beauty of her +lovely auburn hair that vying with the precious stones and the light of +the four torches that stood in the hall shone with a brighter gleam than +all. Oh memory, mortal foe of my peace! why bring before me now the +incomparable beauty of that adored enemy of mine? Were it not better, +cruel memory, to remind me and recall what she then did, that stirred by +a wrong so glaring I may seek, if not vengeance now, at least to rid +myself of life? Be not weary, sirs, of listening to these digressions; my +sorrow is not one of those that can or should be told tersely and +briefly, for to me each incident seems to call for many words." + +To this the curate replied that not only were they not weary of listening +to him, but that the details he mentioned interested them greatly, being +of a kind by no means to be omitted and deserving of the same attention +as the main story. + +"To proceed, then," continued Cardenio: "all being assembled in the hall, +the priest of the parish came in and as he took the pair by the hand to +perform the requisite ceremony, at the words, 'Will you, Senora Luscinda, +take Senor Don Fernando, here present, for your lawful husband, as the +holy Mother Church ordains?' I thrust my head and neck out from between +the tapestries, and with eager ears and throbbing heart set myself to +listen to Luscinda's answer, awaiting in her reply the sentence of death +or the grant of life. Oh, that I had but dared at that moment to rush +forward crying aloud, 'Luscinda, Luscinda! have a care what thou dost; +remember what thou owest me; bethink thee thou art mine and canst not be +another's; reflect that thy utterance of "Yes" and the end of my life +will come at the same instant. O, treacherous Don Fernando! robber of my +glory, death of my life! What seekest thou? Remember that thou canst not +as a Christian attain the object of thy wishes, for Luscinda is my bride, +and I am her husband!' Fool that I am! now that I am far away, and out of +danger, I say I should have done what I did not do: now that I have +allowed my precious treasure to be robbed from me, I curse the robber, on +whom I might have taken vengeance had I as much heart for it as I have +for bewailing my fate; in short, as I was then a coward and a fool, +little wonder is it if I am now dying shame-stricken, remorseful, and +mad. + +"The priest stood waiting for the answer of Luscinda, who for a long time +withheld it; and just as I thought she was taking out the dagger to save +her honour, or struggling for words to make some declaration of the truth +on my behalf, I heard her say in a faint and feeble voice, 'I will:' Don +Fernando said the same, and giving her the ring they stood linked by a +knot that could never be loosed. The bridegroom then approached to +embrace his bride; and she, pressing her hand upon her heart, fell +fainting in her mother's arms. It only remains now for me to tell you the +state I was in when in that consent that I heard I saw all my hopes +mocked, the words and promises of Luscinda proved falsehoods, and the +recovery of the prize I had that instant lost rendered impossible for +ever. I stood stupefied, wholly abandoned, it seemed, by Heaven, declared +the enemy of the earth that bore me, the air refusing me breath for my +sighs, the water moisture for my tears; it was only the fire that +gathered strength so that my whole frame glowed with rage and jealousy. +They were all thrown into confusion by Luscinda's fainting, and as her +mother was unlacing her to give her air a sealed paper was discovered in +her bosom which Don Fernando seized at once and began to read by the +light of one of the torches. As soon as he had read it he seated himself +in a chair, leaning his cheek on his hand in the attitude of one deep in +thought, without taking any part in the efforts that were being made to +recover his bride from her fainting fit. + +"Seeing all the household in confusion, I ventured to come out regardless +whether I were seen or not, and determined, if I were, to do some +frenzied deed that would prove to all the world the righteous indignation +of my breast in the punishment of the treacherous Don Fernando, and even +in that of the fickle fainting traitress. But my fate, doubtless +reserving me for greater sorrows, if such there be, so ordered it that +just then I had enough and to spare of that reason which has since been +wanting to me; and so, without seeking to take vengeance on my greatest +enemies (which might have been easily taken, as all thought of me was so +far from their minds), I resolved to take it upon myself, and on myself +to inflict the pain they deserved, perhaps with even greater severity +than I should have dealt out to them had I then slain them; for sudden +pain is soon over, but that which is protracted by tortures is ever +slaying without ending life. In a word, I quitted the house and reached +that of the man with whom I had left my mule; I made him saddle it for +me, mounted without bidding him farewell, and rode out of the city, like +another Lot, not daring to turn my head to look back upon it; and when I +found myself alone in the open country, screened by the darkness of the +night, and tempted by the stillness to give vent to my grief without +apprehension or fear of being heard or seen, then I broke silence and +lifted up my voice in maledictions upon Luscinda and Don Fernando, as if +I could thus avenge the wrong they had done me. I called her cruel, +ungrateful, false, thankless, but above all covetous, since the wealth of +my enemy had blinded the eyes of her affection, and turned it from me to +transfer it to one to whom fortune had been more generous and liberal. +And yet, in the midst of this outburst of execration and upbraiding, I +found excuses for her, saying it was no wonder that a young girl in the +seclusion of her parents' house, trained and schooled to obey them +always, should have been ready to yield to their wishes when they offered +her for a husband a gentleman of such distinction, wealth, and noble +birth, that if she had refused to accept him she would have been thought +out of her senses, or to have set her affection elsewhere, a suspicion +injurious to her fair name and fame. But then again, I said, had she +declared I was her husband, they would have seen that in choosing me she +had not chosen so ill but that they might excuse her, for before Don +Fernando had made his offer, they themselves could not have desired, if +their desires had been ruled by reason, a more eligible husband for their +daughter than I was; and she, before taking the last fatal step of giving +her hand, might easily have said that I had already given her mine, for I +should have come forward to support any assertion of hers to that effect. +In short, I came to the conclusion that feeble love, little reflection, +great ambition, and a craving for rank, had made her forget the words +with which she had deceived me, encouraged and supported by my firm hopes +and honourable passion. + +"Thus soliloquising and agitated, I journeyed onward for the remainder of +the night, and by daybreak I reached one of the passes of these +mountains, among which I wandered for three days more without taking any +path or road, until I came to some meadows lying on I know not which side +of the mountains, and there I inquired of some herdsmen in what direction +the most rugged part of the range lay. They told me that it was in this +quarter, and I at once directed my course hither, intending to end my +life here; but as I was making my way among these crags, my mule dropped +dead through fatigue and hunger, or, as I think more likely, in order to +have done with such a worthless burden as it bore in me. I was left on +foot, worn out, famishing, without anyone to help me or any thought of +seeking help: and so thus I lay stretched on the ground, how long I know +not, after which I rose up free from hunger, and found beside me some +goatherds, who no doubt were the persons who had relieved me in my need, +for they told me how they had found me, and how I had been uttering +ravings that showed plainly I had lost my reason; and since then I am +conscious that I am not always in full possession of it, but at times so +deranged and crazed that I do a thousand mad things, tearing my clothes, +crying aloud in these solitudes, cursing my fate, and idly calling on the +dear name of her who is my enemy, and only seeking to end my life in +lamentation; and when I recover my senses I find myself so exhausted and +weary that I can scarcely move. Most commonly my dwelling is the hollow +of a cork tree large enough to shelter this miserable body; the herdsmen +and goatherds who frequent these mountains, moved by compassion, furnish +me with food, leaving it by the wayside or on the rocks, where they think +I may perhaps pass and find it; and so, even though I may be then out of +my senses, the wants of nature teach me what is required to sustain me, +and make me crave it and eager to take it. At other times, so they tell +me when they find me in a rational mood, I sally out upon the road, and +though they would gladly give it me, I snatch food by force from the +shepherds bringing it from the village to their huts. Thus do pass the +wretched life that remains to me, until it be Heaven's will to bring it +to a close, or so to order my memory that I no longer recollect the +beauty and treachery of Luscinda, or the wrong done me by Don Fernando; +for if it will do this without depriving me of life, I will turn my +thoughts into some better channel; if not, I can only implore it to have +full mercy on my soul, for in myself I feel no power or strength to +release my body from this strait in which I have of my own accord chosen +to place it. + +"Such, sirs, is the dismal story of my misfortune: say if it be one that +can be told with less emotion than you have seen in me; and do not +trouble yourselves with urging or pressing upon me what reason suggests +as likely to serve for my relief, for it will avail me as much as the +medicine prescribed by a wise physician avails the sick man who will not +take it. I have no wish for health without Luscinda; and since it is her +pleasure to be another's, when she is or should be mine, let it be mine +to be a prey to misery when I might have enjoyed happiness. She by her +fickleness strove to make my ruin irretrievable; I will strive to gratify +her wishes by seeking destruction; and it will show generations to come +that I alone was deprived of that of which all others in misfortune have +a superabundance, for to them the impossibility of being consoled is +itself a consolation, while to me it is the cause of greater sorrows and +sufferings, for I think that even in death there will not be an end of +them." + +Here Cardenio brought to a close his long discourse and story, as full of +misfortune as it was of love; but just as the curate was going to address +some words of comfort to him, he was stopped by a voice that reached his +ear, saying in melancholy tones what will be told in the Fourth Part of +this narrative; for at this point the sage and sagacious historian, Cide +Hamete Benengeli, brought the Third to a conclusion. + +Chapter XXVIII. - +Which treats of the strange and delightful adventure that befell the +curate and the barber in the same Sierra + +Happy and fortunate were the times when that most daring knight Don +Quixote of La Mancha was sent into the world; for by reason of his having +formed a resolution so honourable as that of seeking to revive and +restore to the world the long-lost and almost defunct order of +knight-errantry, we now enjoy in this age of ours, so poor in light +entertainment, not only the charm of his veracious history, but also of +the tales and episodes contained in it which are, in a measure, no less +pleasing, ingenious, and truthful, than the history itself; which, +resuming its thread, carded, spun, and wound, relates that just as the +curate was going to offer consolation to Cardenio, he was interrupted by +a voice that fell upon his ear saying in plaintive tones: + +"O God! is it possible I have found a place that may serve as a secret +grave for the weary load of this body that I support so unwillingly? If +the solitude these mountains promise deceives me not, it is so; ah! woe +is me! how much more grateful to my mind will be the society of these +rocks and brakes that permit me to complain of my misfortune to Heaven, +than that of any human being, for there is none on earth to look to for +counsel in doubt, comfort in sorrow, or relief in distress!" + +All this was heard distinctly by the curate and those with him, and as it +seemed to them to be uttered close by, as indeed it was, they got up to +look for the speaker, and before they had gone twenty paces they +discovered behind a rock, seated at the foot of an ash tree, a youth in +the dress of a peasant, whose face they were unable at the moment to see +as he was leaning forward, bathing his feet in the brook that flowed +past. They approached so silently that he did not perceive them, being +fully occupied in bathing his feet, which were so fair that they looked +like two pieces of shining crystal brought forth among the other stones +of the brook. The whiteness and beauty of these feet struck them with +surprise, for they did not seem to have been made to crush clods or to +follow the plough and the oxen as their owner's dress suggested; and so, +finding they had not been noticed, the curate, who was in front, made a +sign to the other two to conceal themselves behind some fragments of rock +that lay there; which they did, observing closely what the youth was +about. He had on a loose double-skirted dark brown jacket bound tight to +his body with a white cloth; he wore besides breeches and gaiters of +brown cloth, and on his head a brown montera; and he had the gaiters +turned up as far as the middle of the leg, which verily seemed to be of +pure alabaster. + +As soon as he had done bathing his beautiful feet, he wiped them with a +towel he took from under the montera, on taking off which he raised his +face, and those who were watching him had an opportunity of seeing a +beauty so exquisite that Cardenio said to the curate in a whisper: + +"As this is not Luscinda, it is no human creature but a divine being." + +The youth then took off the montera, and shaking his head from side to +side there broke loose and spread out a mass of hair that the beams of +the sun might have envied; by this they knew that what had seemed a +peasant was a lovely woman, nay the most beautiful the eyes of two of +them had ever beheld, or even Cardenio's if they had not seen and known +Luscinda, for he afterwards declared that only the beauty of Luscinda +could compare with this. The long auburn tresses not only covered her +shoulders, but such was their length and abundance, concealed her all +round beneath their masses, so that except the feet nothing of her form +was visible. She now used her hands as a comb, and if her feet had seemed +like bits of crystal in the water, her hands looked like pieces of driven +snow among her locks; all which increased not only the admiration of the +three beholders, but their anxiety to learn who she was. With this object +they resolved to show themselves, and at the stir they made in getting +upon their feet the fair damsel raised her head, and parting her hair +from before her eyes with both hands, she looked to see who had made the +noise, and the instant she perceived them she started to her feet, and +without waiting to put on her shoes or gather up her hair, hastily +snatched up a bundle as though of clothes that she had beside her, and, +scared and alarmed, endeavoured to take flight; but before she had gone +six paces she fell to the ground, her delicate feet being unable to bear +the roughness of the stones; seeing which, the three hastened towards +her, and the curate addressing her first said: + +"Stay, senora, whoever you may be, for those whom you see here only +desire to be of service to you; you have no need to attempt a flight so +heedless, for neither can your feet bear it, nor we allow it." + +Taken by surprise and bewildered, she made no reply to these words. They, +however, came towards her, and the curate taking her hand went on to say: + +"What your dress would hide, senora, is made known to us by your hair; a +clear proof that it can be no trifling cause that has disguised your +beauty in a garb so unworthy of it, and sent it into solitudes like these +where we have had the good fortune to find you, if not to relieve your +distress, at least to offer you comfort; for no distress, so long as life +lasts, can be so oppressive or reach such a height as to make the +sufferer refuse to listen to comfort offered with good intention. And so, +senora, or senor, or whatever you prefer to be, dismiss the fears that +our appearance has caused you and make us acquainted with your good or +evil fortunes, for from all of us together, or from each one of us, you +will receive sympathy in your trouble." + +While the curate was speaking, the disguised damsel stood as if +spell-bound, looking at them without opening her lips or uttering a word, +just like a village rustic to whom something strange that he has never +seen before has been suddenly shown; but on the curate addressing some +further words to the same effect to her, sighing deeply she broke silence +and said: + +"Since the solitude of these mountains has been unable to conceal me, and +the escape of my dishevelled tresses will not allow my tongue to deal in +falsehoods, it would be idle for me now to make any further pretence of +what, if you were to believe me, you would believe more out of courtesy +than for any other reason. This being so, I say I thank you, sirs, for +the offer you have made me, which places me under the obligation of +complying with the request you have made of me; though I fear the account +I shall give you of my misfortunes will excite in you as much concern as +compassion, for you will be unable to suggest anything to remedy them or +any consolation to alleviate them. However, that my honour may not be +left a matter of doubt in your minds, now that you have discovered me to +be a woman, and see that I am young, alone, and in this dress, things +that taken together or separately would be enough to destroy any good +name, I feel bound to tell what I would willingly keep secret if I +could." + +All this she who was now seen to be a lovely woman delivered without any +hesitation, with so much ease and in so sweet a voice that they were not +less charmed by her intelligence than by her beauty, and as they again +repeated their offers and entreaties to her to fulfil her promise, she +without further pressing, first modestly covering her feet and gathering +up her hair, seated herself on a stone with the three placed around her, +and, after an effort to restrain some tears that came to her eyes, in a +clear and steady voice began her story thus: + +"In this Andalusia there is a town from which a duke takes a title which +makes him one of those that are called Grandees of Spain. This nobleman +has two sons, the elder heir to his dignity and apparently to his good +qualities; the younger heir to I know not what, unless it be the +treachery of Vellido and the falsehood of Ganelon. My parents are this +lord's vassals, lowly in origin, but so wealthy that if birth had +conferred as much on them as fortune, they would have had nothing left to +desire, nor should I have had reason to fear trouble like that in which I +find myself now; for it may be that my ill fortune came of theirs in not +having been nobly born. It is true they are not so low that they have any +reason to be ashamed of their condition, but neither are they so high as +to remove from my mind the impression that my mishap comes of their +humble birth. They are, in short, peasants, plain homely people, without +any taint of disreputable blood, and, as the saying is, old rusty +Christians, but so rich that by their wealth and free-handed way of life +they are coming by degrees to be considered gentlefolk by birth, and even +by position; though the wealth and nobility they thought most of was +having me for their daughter; and as they have no other child to make +their heir, and are affectionate parents, I was one of the most indulged +daughters that ever parents indulged. + +"I was the mirror in which they beheld themselves, the staff of their old +age, and the object in which, with submission to Heaven, all their wishes +centred, and mine were in accordance with theirs, for I knew their worth; +and as I was mistress of their hearts, so was I also of their +possessions. Through me they engaged or dismissed their servants; through +my hands passed the accounts and returns of what was sown and reaped; the +oil-mills, the wine-presses, the count of the flocks and herds, the +beehives, all in short that a rich farmer like my father has or can have, +I had under my care, and I acted as steward and mistress with an +assiduity on my part and satisfaction on theirs that I cannot well +describe to you. The leisure hours left to me after I had given the +requisite orders to the head-shepherds, overseers, and other labourers, I +passed in such employments as are not only allowable but necessary for +young girls, those that the needle, embroidery cushion, and spinning +wheel usually afford, and if to refresh my mind I quitted them for a +while, I found recreation in reading some devotional book or playing the +harp, for experience taught me that music soothes the troubled mind and +relieves weariness of spirit. Such was the life I led in my parents' +house and if I have depicted it thus minutely, it is not out of +ostentation, or to let you know that I am rich, but that you may see how, +without any fault of mine, I have fallen from the happy condition I have +described, to the misery I am in at present. The truth is, that while I +was leading this busy life, in a retirement that might compare with that +of a monastery, and unseen as I thought by any except the servants of the +house (for when I went to Mass it was so early in the morning, and I was +so closely attended by my mother and the women of the household, and so +thickly veiled and so shy, that my eyes scarcely saw more ground than I +trod on), in spite of all this, the eyes of love, or idleness, more +properly speaking, that the lynx's cannot rival, discovered me, with the +help of the assiduity of Don Fernando; for that is the name of the +younger son of the duke I told of." + +The moment the speaker mentioned the name of Don Fernando, Cardenio +changed colour and broke into a sweat, with such signs of emotion that +the curate and the barber, who observed it, feared that one of the mad +fits which they heard attacked him sometimes was coming upon him; but +Cardenio showed no further agitation and remained quiet, regarding the +peasant girl with fixed attention, for he began to suspect who she was. +She, however, without noticing the excitement of Cardenio, continuing her +story, went on to say: + +"And they had hardly discovered me, when, as he owned afterwards, he was +smitten with a violent love for me, as the manner in which it displayed +itself plainly showed. But to shorten the long recital of my woes, I will +pass over in silence all the artifices employed by Don Fernando for +declaring his passion for me. He bribed all the household, he gave and +offered gifts and presents to my parents; every day was like a holiday or +a merry-making in our street; by night no one could sleep for the music; +the love letters that used to come to my hand, no one knew how, were +innumerable, full of tender pleadings and pledges, containing more +promises and oaths than there were letters in them; all which not only +did not soften me, but hardened my heart against him, as if he had been +my mortal enemy, and as if everything he did to make me yield were done +with the opposite intention. Not that the high-bred bearing of Don +Fernando was disagreeable to me, or that I found his importunities +wearisome; for it gave me a certain sort of satisfaction to find myself +so sought and prized by a gentleman of such distinction, and I was not +displeased at seeing my praises in his letters (for however ugly we women +may be, it seems to me it always pleases us to hear ourselves called +beautiful) but that my own sense of right was opposed to all this, as +well as the repeated advice of my parents, who now very plainly perceived +Don Fernando's purpose, for he cared very little if all the world knew +it. They told me they trusted and confided their honour and good name to +my virtue and rectitude alone, and bade me consider the disparity between +Don Fernando and myself, from which I might conclude that his intentions, +whatever he might say to the contrary, had for their aim his own pleasure +rather than my advantage; and if I were at all desirous of opposing an +obstacle to his unreasonable suit, they were ready, they said, to marry +me at once to anyone I preferred, either among the leading people of our +own town, or of any of those in the neighbourhood; for with their wealth +and my good name, a match might be looked for in any quarter. This offer, +and their sound advice strengthened my resolution, and I never gave Don +Fernando a word in reply that could hold out to him any hope of success, +however remote. + +"All this caution of mine, which he must have taken for coyness, had +apparently the effect of increasing his wanton appetite--for that is the +name I give to his passion for me; had it been what he declared it to be, +you would not know of it now, because there would have been no occasion +to tell you of it. At length he learned that my parents were +contemplating marriage for me in order to put an end to his hopes of +obtaining possession of me, or at least to secure additional protectors +to watch over me, and this intelligence or suspicion made him act as you +shall hear. One night, as I was in my chamber with no other companion +than a damsel who waited on me, with the doors carefully locked lest my +honour should be imperilled through any carelessness, I know not nor can +conceive how it happened, but, with all this seclusion and these +precautions, and in the solitude and silence of my retirement, I found +him standing before me, a vision that so astounded me that it deprived my +eyes of sight, and my tongue of speech. I had no power to utter a cry, +nor, I think, did he give me time to utter one, as he immediately +approached me, and taking me in his arms (for, overwhelmed as I was, I +was powerless, I say, to help myself), he began to make such professions +to me that I know not how falsehood could have had the power of dressing +them up to seem so like truth; and the traitor contrived that his tears +should vouch for his words, and his sighs for his sincerity. + +"I, a poor young creature alone, ill versed among my people in cases such +as this, began, I know not how, to think all these lying protestations +true, though without being moved by his sighs and tears to anything more +than pure compassion; and so, as the first feeling of bewilderment passed +away, and I began in some degree to recover myself, I said to him with +more courage than I thought I could have possessed, 'If, as I am now in +your arms, senor, I were in the claws of a fierce lion, and my +deliverance could be procured by doing or saying anything to the +prejudice of my honour, it would no more be in my power to do it or say +it, than it would be possible that what was should not have been; so +then, if you hold my body clasped in your arms, I hold my soul secured by +virtuous intentions, very different from yours, as you will see if you +attempt to carry them into effect by force. I am your vassal, but I am +not your slave; your nobility neither has nor should have any right to +dishonour or degrade my humble birth; and low-born peasant as I am, I +have my self-respect as much as you, a lord and gentleman: with me your +violence will be to no purpose, your wealth will have no weight, your +words will have no power to deceive me, nor your sighs or tears to soften +me: were I to see any of the things I speak of in him whom my parents +gave me as a husband, his will should be mine, and mine should be bounded +by his; and my honour being preserved even though my inclinations were +not would willingly yield him what you, senor, would now obtain by force; +and this I say lest you should suppose that any but my lawful husband +shall ever win anything of me.' 'If that,' said this disloyal gentleman, +'be the only scruple you feel, fairest Dorothea' (for that is the name of +this unhappy being), 'see here I give you my hand to be yours, and let +Heaven, from which nothing is hid, and this image of Our Lady you have +here, be witnesses of this pledge.'" + +When Cardenio heard her say she was called Dorothea, he showed fresh +agitation and felt convinced of the truth of his former suspicion, but he +was unwilling to interrupt the story, and wished to hear the end of what +he already all but knew, so he merely said: + +"What! is Dorothea your name, senora? I have heard of another of the same +name who can perhaps match your misfortunes. But proceed; by-and-by I may +tell you something that will astonish you as much as it will excite your +compassion." + +Dorothea was struck by Cardenio's words as well as by his strange and +miserable attire, and begged him if he knew anything concerning her to +tell it to her at once, for if fortune had left her any blessing it was +courage to bear whatever calamity might fall upon her, as she felt sure +that none could reach her capable of increasing in any degree what she +endured already. + +"I would not let the occasion pass, senora," replied Cardenio, "of +telling you what I think, if what I suspect were the truth, but so far +there has been no opportunity, nor is it of any importance to you to know +it." + +"Be it as it may," replied Dorothea, "what happened in my story was that +Don Fernando, taking an image that stood in the chamber, placed it as a +witness of our betrothal, and with the most binding words and extravagant +oaths gave me his promise to become my husband; though before he had made +an end of pledging himself I bade him consider well what he was doing, +and think of the anger his father would feel at seeing him married to a +peasant girl and one of his vassals; I told him not to let my beauty, +such as it was, blind him, for that was not enough to furnish an excuse +for his transgression; and if in the love he bore me he wished to do me +any kindness, it would be to leave my lot to follow its course at the +level my condition required; for marriages so unequal never brought +happiness, nor did they continue long to afford the enjoyment they began +with. + +"All this that I have now repeated I said to him, and much more which I +cannot recollect; but it had no effect in inducing him to forego his +purpose; he who has no intention of paying does not trouble himself about +difficulties when he is striking the bargain. At the same time I argued +the matter briefly in my own mind, saying to myself, 'I shall not be the +first who has risen through marriage from a lowly to a lofty station, nor +will Don Fernando be the first whom beauty or, as is more likely, a blind +attachment, has led to mate himself below his rank. Then, since I am +introducing no new usage or practice, I may as well avail myself of the +honour that chance offers me, for even though his inclination for me +should not outlast the attainment of his wishes, I shall be, after all, +his wife before God. And if I strive to repel him by scorn, I can see +that, fair means failing, he is in a mood to use force, and I shall be +left dishonoured and without any means of proving my innocence to those +who cannot know how innocently I have come to be in this position; for +what arguments would persuade my parents that this gentleman entered my +chamber without my consent?' + +"All these questions and answers passed through my mind in a moment; but +the oaths of Don Fernando, the witnesses he appealed to, the tears he +shed, and lastly the charms of his person and his high-bred grace, which, +accompanied by such signs of genuine love, might well have conquered a +heart even more free and coy than mine--these were the things that more +than all began to influence me and lead me unawares to my ruin. I called +my waiting-maid to me, that there might be a witness on earth besides +those in Heaven, and again Don Fernando renewed and repeated his oaths, +invoked as witnesses fresh saints in addition to the former ones, called +down upon himself a thousand curses hereafter should he fail to keep his +promise, shed more tears, redoubled his sighs and pressed me closer in +his arms, from which he had never allowed me to escape; and so I was left +by my maid, and ceased to be one, and he became a traitor and a perjured +man. + +"The day which followed the night of my misfortune did not come so +quickly, I imagine, as Don Fernando wished, for when desire has attained +its object, the greatest pleasure is to fly from the scene of pleasure. I +say so because Don Fernando made all haste to leave me, and by the +adroitness of my maid, who was indeed the one who had admitted him, +gained the street before daybreak; but on taking leave of me he told me, +though not with as much earnestness and fervour as when he came, that I +might rest assured of his faith and of the sanctity and sincerity of his +oaths; and to confirm his words he drew a rich ring off his finger and +placed it upon mine. He then took his departure and I was left, I know +not whether sorrowful or happy; all I can say is, I was left agitated and +troubled in mind and almost bewildered by what had taken place, and I had +not the spirit, or else it did not occur to me, to chide my maid for the +treachery she had been guilty of in concealing Don Fernando in my +chamber; for as yet I was unable to make up my mind whether what had +befallen me was for good or evil. I told Don Fernando at parting, that as +I was now his, he might see me on other nights in the same way, until it +should be his pleasure to let the matter become known; but, except the +following night, he came no more, nor for more than a month could I catch +a glimpse of him in the street or in church, while I wearied myself with +watching for one; although I knew he was in the town, and almost every +day went out hunting, a pastime he was very fond of. I remember well how +sad and dreary those days and hours were to me; I remember well how I +began to doubt as they went by, and even to lose confidence in the faith +of Don Fernando; and I remember, too, how my maid heard those words in +reproof of her audacity that she had not heard before, and how I was +forced to put a constraint on my tears and on the expression of my +countenance, not to give my parents cause to ask me why I was so +melancholy, and drive me to invent falsehoods in reply. But all this was +suddenly brought to an end, for the time came when all such +considerations were disregarded, and there was no further question of +honour, when my patience gave way and the secret of my heart became known +abroad. The reason was, that a few days later it was reported in the town +that Don Fernando had been married in a neighbouring city to a maiden of +rare beauty, the daughter of parents of distinguished position, though +not so rich that her portion would entitle her to look for so brilliant a +match; it was said, too, that her name was Luscinda, and that at the +betrothal some strange things had happened." + +Cardenio heard the name of Luscinda, but he only shrugged his shoulders, +bit his lips, bent his brows, and before long two streams of tears +escaped from his eyes. Dorothea, however, did not interrupt her story, +but went on in these words: + +"This sad intelligence reached my ears, and, instead of being struck with +a chill, with such wrath and fury did my heart burn that I scarcely +restrained myself from rushing out into the streets, crying aloud and +proclaiming openly the perfidy and treachery of which I was the victim; +but this transport of rage was for the time checked by a resolution I +formed, to be carried out the same night, and that was to assume this +dress, which I got from a servant of my father's, one of the zagals, as +they are called in farmhouses, to whom I confided the whole of my +misfortune, and whom I entreated to accompany me to the city where I +heard my enemy was. He, though he remonstrated with me for my boldness, +and condemned my resolution, when he saw me bent upon my purpose, offered +to bear me company, as he said, to the end of the world. I at once packed +up in a linen pillow-case a woman's dress, and some jewels and money to +provide for emergencies, and in the silence of the night, without letting +my treacherous maid know, I sallied forth from the house, accompanied by +my servant and abundant anxieties, and on foot set out for the city, but +borne as it were on wings by my eagerness to reach it, if not to prevent +what I presumed to be already done, at least to call upon Don Fernando to +tell me with what conscience he had done it. I reached my destination in +two days and a half, and on entering the city inquired for the house of +Luscinda's parents. The first person I asked gave me more in reply than I +sought to know; he showed me the house, and told me all that had occurred +at the betrothal of the daughter of the family, an affair of such +notoriety in the city that it was the talk of every knot of idlers in the +street. He said that on the night of Don Fernando's betrothal with +Luscinda, as soon as she had consented to be his bride by saying 'Yes,' +she was taken with a sudden fainting fit, and that on the bridegroom +approaching to unlace the bosom of her dress to give her air, he found a +paper in her own handwriting, in which she said and declared that she +could not be Don Fernando's bride, because she was already Cardenio's, +who, according to the man's account, was a gentleman of distinction of +the same city; and that if she had accepted Don Fernando, it was only in +obedience to her parents. In short, he said, the words of the paper made +it clear she meant to kill herself on the completion of the betrothal, +and gave her reasons for putting an end to herself all which was +confirmed, it was said, by a dagger they found somewhere in her clothes. +On seeing this, Don Fernando, persuaded that Luscinda had befooled, +slighted, and trifled with him, assailed her before she had recovered +from her swoon, and tried to stab her with the dagger that had been +found, and would have succeeded had not her parents and those who were +present prevented him. It was said, moreover, that Don Fernando went away +at once, and that Luscinda did not recover from her prostration until the +next day, when she told her parents how she was really the bride of that +Cardenio I have mentioned. I learned besides that Cardenio, according to +report, had been present at the betrothal; and that upon seeing her +betrothed contrary to his expectation, he had quitted the city in +despair, leaving behind him a letter declaring the wrong Luscinda had +done him, and his intention of going where no one should ever see him +again. All this was a matter of notoriety in the city, and everyone spoke +of it; especially when it became known that Luscinda was missing from her +father's house and from the city, for she was not to be found anywhere, +to the distraction of her parents, who knew not what steps to take to +recover her. What I learned revived my hopes, and I was better pleased +not to have found Don Fernando than to find him married, for it seemed to +me that the door was not yet entirely shut upon relief in my case, and I +thought that perhaps Heaven had put this impediment in the way of the +second marriage, to lead him to recognise his obligations under the +former one, and reflect that as a Christian he was bound to consider his +soul above all human objects. All this passed through my mind, and I +strove to comfort myself without comfort, indulging in faint and distant +hopes of cherishing that life that I now abhor. + +"But while I was in the city, uncertain what to do, as I could not find +Don Fernando, I heard notice given by the public crier offering a great +reward to anyone who should find me, and giving the particulars of my age +and of the very dress I wore; and I heard it said that the lad who came +with me had taken me away from my father's house; a thing that cut me to +the heart, showing how low my good name had fallen, since it was not +enough that I should lose it by my flight, but they must add with whom I +had fled, and that one so much beneath me and so unworthy of my +consideration. The instant I heard the notice I quitted the city with my +servant, who now began to show signs of wavering in his fidelity to me, +and the same night, for fear of discovery, we entered the most thickly +wooded part of these mountains. But, as is commonly said, one evil calls +up another and the end of one misfortune is apt to be the beginning of +one still greater, and so it proved in my case; for my worthy servant, +until then so faithful and trusty when he found me in this lonely spot, +moved more by his own villainy than by my beauty, sought to take +advantage of the opportunity which these solitudes seemed to present him, +and with little shame and less fear of God and respect for me, began to +make overtures to me; and finding that I replied to the effrontery of his +proposals with justly severe language, he laid aside the entreaties which +he had employed at first, and began to use violence. + +"But just Heaven, that seldom fails to watch over and aid good intentions, +so aided mine that with my slight strength and with little exertion I +pushed him over a precipice, where I left him, whether dead or alive I +know not; and then, with greater speed than seemed possible in my terror +and fatigue, I made my way into the mountains, without any other thought +or purpose save that of hiding myself among them, and escaping my father +and those despatched in search of me by his orders. It is now I know not +how many months since with this object I came here, where I met a +herdsman who engaged me as his servant at a place in the heart of this +Sierra, and all this time I have been serving him as herd, striving to +keep always afield to hide these locks which have now unexpectedly +betrayed me. But all my care and pains were unavailing, for my master +made the discovery that I was not a man, and harboured the same base +designs as my servant; and as fortune does not always supply a remedy in +cases of difficulty, and I had no precipice or ravine at hand down which +to fling the master and cure his passion, as I had in the servant's case, +I thought it a lesser evil to leave him and again conceal myself among +these crags, than make trial of my strength and argument with him. So, as +I say, once more I went into hiding to seek for some place where I might +with sighs and tears implore Heaven to have pity on my misery, and grant +me help and strength to escape from it, or let me die among the +solitudes, leaving no trace of an unhappy being who, by no fault of hers, +has furnished matter for talk and scandal at home and abroad." + +Chapter XXIX. - +Which treats of the droll device and method adopted to extricate our +love-stricken Knight from the severe penance he had imposed upon himself + +"Such, sirs, is the true story of my sad adventures; judge for yourselves +now whether the sighs and lamentations you heard, and the tears that +flowed from my eyes, had not sufficient cause even if I had indulged in +them more freely; and if you consider the nature of my misfortune you +will see that consolation is idle, as there is no possible remedy for it. +All I ask of you is, what you may easily and reasonably do, to show me +where I may pass my life unharassed by the fear and dread of discovery by +those who are in search of me; for though the great love my parents bear +me makes me feel sure of being kindly received by them, so great is my +feeling of shame at the mere thought that I cannot present myself before +them as they expect, that I had rather banish myself from their sight for +ever than look them in the face with the reflection that they beheld mine +stripped of that purity they had a right to expect in me." + +With these words she became silent, and the colour that overspread her +face showed plainly the pain and shame she was suffering at heart. In +theirs the listeners felt as much pity as wonder at her misfortunes; but +as the curate was just about to offer her some consolation and advice +Cardenio forestalled him, saying, "So then, senora, you are the fair +Dorothea, the only daughter of the rich Clenardo?" Dorothea was +astonished at hearing her father's name, and at the miserable appearance +of him who mentioned it, for it has been already said how wretchedly clad +Cardenio was; so she said to him: + +"And who may you be, brother, who seem to know my father's name so well? +For so far, if I remember rightly, I have not mentioned it in the whole +story of my misfortunes." + +"I am that unhappy being, senora," replied Cardenio, "whom, as you have +said, Luscinda declared to be her husband; I am the unfortunate Cardenio, +whom the wrong-doing of him who has brought you to your present condition +has reduced to the state you see me in, bare, ragged, bereft of all human +comfort, and what is worse, of reason, for I only possess it when Heaven +is pleased for some short space to restore it to me. I, Dorothea, am he +who witnessed the wrong done by Don Fernando, and waited to hear the +'Yes' uttered by which Luscinda owned herself his betrothed: I am he who +had not courage enough to see how her fainting fit ended, or what came of +the paper that was found in her bosom, because my heart had not the +fortitude to endure so many strokes of ill-fortune at once; and so losing +patience I quitted the house, and leaving a letter with my host, which I +entreated him to place in Luscinda's hands, I betook myself to these +solitudes, resolved to end here the life I hated as if it were my mortal +enemy. But fate would not rid me of it, contenting itself with robbing me +of my reason, perhaps to preserve me for the good fortune I have had in +meeting you; for if that which you have just told us be true, as I +believe it to be, it may be that Heaven has yet in store for both of us a +happier termination to our misfortunes than we look for; because seeing +that Luscinda cannot marry Don Fernando, being mine, as she has herself +so openly declared, and that Don Fernando cannot marry her as he is +yours, we may reasonably hope that Heaven will restore to us what is +ours, as it is still in existence and not yet alienated or destroyed. And +as we have this consolation springing from no very visionary hope or wild +fancy, I entreat you, senora, to form new resolutions in your better +mind, as I mean to do in mine, preparing yourself to look forward to +happier fortunes; for I swear to you by the faith of a gentleman and a +Christian not to desert you until I see you in possession of Don +Fernando, and if I cannot by words induce him to recognise his obligation +to you, in that case to avail myself of the right which my rank as a +gentleman gives me, and with just cause challenge him on account of the +injury he has done you, not regarding my own wrongs, which I shall leave +to Heaven to avenge, while I on earth devote myself to yours." + +Cardenio's words completed the astonishment of Dorothea, and not knowing +how to return thanks for such an offer, she attempted to kiss his feet; +but Cardenio would not permit it, and the licentiate replied for both, +commended the sound reasoning of Cardenio, and lastly, begged, advised, +and urged them to come with him to his village, where they might furnish +themselves with what they needed, and take measures to discover Don +Fernando, or restore Dorothea to her parents, or do what seemed to them +most advisable. Cardenio and Dorothea thanked him, and accepted the kind +offer he made them; and the barber, who had been listening to all +attentively and in silence, on his part some kindly words also, and with +no less good-will than the curate offered his services in any way that +might be of use to them. He also explained to them in a few words the +object that had brought them there, and the strange nature of Don +Quixote's madness, and how they were waiting for his squire, who had gone +in search of him. Like the recollection of a dream, the quarrel he had +had with Don Quixote came back to Cardenio's memory, and he described it +to the others; but he was unable to say what the dispute was about. + +At this moment they heard a shout, and recognised it as coming from +Sancho Panza, who, not finding them where he had left them, was calling +aloud to them. They went to meet him, and in answer to their inquiries +about Don Quixote, he told them how he had found him stripped to his +shirt, lank, yellow, half dead with hunger, and sighing for his lady +Dulcinea; and although he had told him that she commanded him to quit +that place and come to El Toboso, where she was expecting him, he had +answered that he was determined not to appear in the presence of her +beauty until he had done deeds to make him worthy of her favour; and if +this went on, Sancho said, he ran the risk of not becoming an emperor as +in duty bound, or even an archbishop, which was the least he could be; +for which reason they ought to consider what was to be done to get him +away from there. The licentiate in reply told him not to be uneasy, for +they would fetch him away in spite of himself. He then told Cardenio and +Dorothea what they had proposed to do to cure Don Quixote, or at any rate +take him home; upon which Dorothea said that she could play the +distressed damsel better than the barber; especially as she had there the +dress in which to do it to the life, and that they might trust to her +acting the part in every particular requisite for carrying out their +scheme, for she had read a great many books of chivalry, and knew exactly +the style in which afflicted damsels begged boons of knights-errant. + +"In that case," said the curate, "there is nothing more required than to +set about it at once, for beyond a doubt fortune is declaring itself in +our favour, since it has so unexpectedly begun to open a door for your +relief, and smoothed the way for us to our object." + +Dorothea then took out of her pillow-case a complete petticoat of some +rich stuff, and a green mantle of some other fine material, and a +necklace and other ornaments out of a little box, and with these in an +instant she so arrayed herself that she looked like a great and rich +lady. All this, and more, she said, she had taken from home in case of +need, but that until then she had had no occasion to make use of it. They +were all highly delighted with her grace, air, and beauty, and declared +Don Fernando to be a man of very little taste when he rejected such +charms. But the one who admired her most was Sancho Panza, for it seemed +to him (what indeed was true) that in all the days of his life he had +never seen such a lovely creature; and he asked the curate with great +eagerness who this beautiful lady was, and what she wanted in these +out-of-the-way quarters. + +"This fair lady, brother Sancho," replied the curate, "is no less a +personage than the heiress in the direct male line of the great kingdom +of Micomicon, who has come in search of your master to beg a boon of him, +which is that he redress a wrong or injury that a wicked giant has done +her; and from the fame as a good knight which your master has acquired +far and wide, this princess has come from Guinea to seek him." + +"A lucky seeking and a lucky finding!" said Sancho Panza at this; +"especially if my master has the good fortune to redress that injury, and +right that wrong, and kill that son of a bitch of a giant your worship +speaks of; as kill him he will if he meets him, unless, indeed, he +happens to be a phantom; for my master has no power at all against +phantoms. But one thing among others I would beg of you, senor +licentiate, which is, that, to prevent my master taking a fancy to be an +archbishop, for that is what I'm afraid of, your worship would recommend +him to marry this princess at once; for in this way he will be disabled +from taking archbishop's orders, and will easily come into his empire, +and I to the end of my desires; I have been thinking over the matter +carefully, and by what I can make out I find it will not do for me that +my master should become an archbishop, because I am no good for the +Church, as I am married; and for me now, having as I have a wife and +children, to set about obtaining dispensations to enable me to hold a +place of profit under the Church, would be endless work; so that, senor, +it all turns on my master marrying this lady at once--for as yet I do not +know her grace, and so I cannot call her by her name." + +"She is called the Princess Micomicona," said the curate; "for as her +kingdom is Micomicon, it is clear that must be her name." + +"There's no doubt of that," replied Sancho, "for I have known many to +take their name and title from the place where they were born and call +themselves Pedro of Alcala, Juan of Ubeda, and Diego of Valladolid; and +it may be that over there in Guinea queens have the same way of taking +the names of their kingdoms." + +"So it may," said the curate; "and as for your master's marrying, I will +do all in my power towards it:" with which Sancho was as much pleased as +the curate was amazed at his simplicity and at seeing what a hold the +absurdities of his master had taken of his fancy, for he had evidently +persuaded himself that he was going to be an emperor. + +By this time Dorothea had seated herself upon the curate's mule, and the +barber had fitted the ox-tail beard to his face, and they now told Sancho +to conduct them to where Don Quixote was, warning him not to say that he +knew either the licentiate or the barber, as his master's becoming an +emperor entirely depended on his not recognising them; neither the curate +nor Cardenio, however, thought fit to go with them; Cardenio lest he +should remind Don Quixote of the quarrel he had with him, and the curate +as there was no necessity for his presence just yet, so they allowed the +others to go on before them, while they themselves followed slowly on +foot. The curate did not forget to instruct Dorothea how to act, but she +said they might make their minds easy, as everything would be done +exactly as the books of chivalry required and described. + +They had gone about three-quarters of a league when they discovered Don +Quixote in a wilderness of rocks, by this time clothed, but without his +armour; and as soon as Dorothea saw him and was told by Sancho that that +was Don Quixote, she whipped her palfrey, the well-bearded barber +following her, and on coming up to him her squire sprang from his mule +and came forward to receive her in his arms, and she dismounting with +great ease of manner advanced to kneel before the feet of Don Quixote; +and though he strove to raise her up, she without rising addressed him in +this fashion: + +"From this spot I will not rise, valiant and doughty knight, until your +goodness and courtesy grant me a boon, which will redound to the honour +and renown of your person and render a service to the most disconsolate +and afflicted damsel the sun has seen; and if the might of your strong +arm corresponds to the repute of your immortal fame, you are bound to aid +the helpless being who, led by the savour of your renowned name, hath +come from far distant lands to seek your aid in her misfortunes." + +"I will not answer a word, beauteous lady," replied Don Quixote, "nor +will I listen to anything further concerning you, until you rise from the +earth." + +"I will not rise, senor," answered the afflicted damsel, "unless of your +courtesy the boon I ask is first granted me." + +"I grant and accord it," said Don Quixote, "provided without detriment or +prejudice to my king, my country, or her who holds the key of my heart +and freedom, it may be complied with." + +"It will not be to the detriment or prejudice of any of them, my worthy +lord," said the afflicted damsel; and here Sancho Panza drew close to his +master's ear and said to him very softly, "Your worship may very safely +grant the boon she asks; it's nothing at all; only to kill a big giant; +and she who asks it is the exalted Princess Micomicona, queen of the +great kingdom of Micomicon of Ethiopia." + +"Let her be who she may," replied Don Quixote, "I will do what is my +bounden duty, and what my conscience bids me, in conformity with what I +have professed;" and turning to the damsel he said, "Let your great +beauty rise, for I grant the boon which you would ask of me." + +"Then what I ask," said the damsel, "is that your magnanimous person +accompany me at once whither I will conduct you, and that you promise not +to engage in any other adventure or quest until you have avenged me of a +traitor who against all human and divine law, has usurped my kingdom." + +"I repeat that I grant it," replied Don Quixote; "and so, lady, you may +from this day forth lay aside the melancholy that distresses you, and let +your failing hopes gather new life and strength, for with the help of God +and of my arm you will soon see yourself restored to your kingdom, and +seated upon the throne of your ancient and mighty realm, notwithstanding +and despite of the felons who would gainsay it; and now hands to the +work, for in delay there is apt to be danger." + +The distressed damsel strove with much pertinacity to kiss his hands; but +Don Quixote, who was in all things a polished and courteous knight, would +by no means allow it, but made her rise and embraced her with great +courtesy and politeness, and ordered Sancho to look to Rocinante's +girths, and to arm him without a moment's delay. Sancho took down the +armour, which was hung up on a tree like a trophy, and having seen to the +girths armed his master in a trice, who as soon as he found himself in +his armour exclaimed: + +"Let us be gone in the name of God to bring aid to this great lady." + +The barber was all this time on his knees at great pains to hide his +laughter and not let his beard fall, for had it fallen maybe their fine +scheme would have come to nothing; but now seeing the boon granted, and +the promptitude with which Don Quixote prepared to set out in compliance +with it, he rose and took his lady's hand, and between them they placed +her upon the mule. Don Quixote then mounted Rocinante, and the barber +settled himself on his beast, Sancho being left to go on foot, which made +him feel anew the loss of his Dapple, finding the want of him now. But he +bore all with cheerfulness, being persuaded that his master had now +fairly started and was just on the point of becoming an emperor; for he +felt no doubt at all that he would marry this princess, and be king of +Micomicon at least. The only thing that troubled him was the reflection +that this kingdom was in the land of the blacks, and that the people they +would give him for vassals would be all black; but for this he soon found +a remedy in his fancy, and said he to himself, "What is it to me if my +vassals are blacks? What more have I to do than make a cargo of them and +carry them to Spain, where I can sell them and get ready money for them, +and with it buy some title or some office in which to live at ease all +the days of my life? Not unless you go to sleep and haven't the wit or +skill to turn things to account and sell three, six, or ten thousand +vassals while you would be talking about it! By God I will stir them up, +big and little, or as best I can, and let them be ever so black I'll turn +them into white or yellow. Come, come, what a fool I am!" And so he +jogged on, so occupied with his thoughts and easy in his mind that he +forgot all about the hardship of travelling on foot. + +Cardenio and the curate were watching all this from among some bushes, +not knowing how to join company with the others; but the curate, who was +very fertile in devices, soon hit upon a way of effecting their purpose, +and with a pair of scissors he had in a case he quickly cut off +Cardenio's beard, and putting on him a grey jerkin of his own he gave him +a black cloak, leaving himself in his breeches and doublet, while +Cardenio's appearance was so different from what it had been that he +would not have known himself had he seen himself in a mirror. Having +effected this, although the others had gone on ahead while they were +disguising themselves, they easily came out on the high road before them, +for the brambles and awkward places they encountered did not allow those +on horseback to go as fast as those on foot. They then posted themselves +on the level ground at the outlet of the Sierra, and as soon as Don +Quixote and his companions emerged from it the curate began to examine +him very deliberately, as though he were striving to recognise him, and +after having stared at him for some time he hastened towards him with +open arms exclaiming, "A happy meeting with the mirror of chivalry, my +worthy compatriot Don Quixote of La Mancha, the flower and cream of high +breeding, the protection and relief of the distressed, the quintessence +of knights-errant!" And so saying he clasped in his arms the knee of Don +Quixote's left leg. He, astonished at the stranger's words and behaviour, +looked at him attentively, and at length recognised him, very much +surprised to see him there, and made great efforts to dismount. This, +however, the curate would not allow, on which Don Quixote said, "Permit +me, senor licentiate, for it is not fitting that I should be on horseback +and so reverend a person as your worship on foot." + +"On no account will I allow it," said the curate; "your mightiness must +remain on horseback, for it is on horseback you achieve the greatest +deeds and adventures that have been beheld in our age; as for me, an +unworthy priest, it will serve me well enough to mount on the haunches of +one of the mules of these gentlefolk who accompany your worship, if they +have no objection, and I will fancy I am mounted on the steed Pegasus, or +on the zebra or charger that bore the famous Moor, Muzaraque, who to this +day lies enchanted in the great hill of Zulema, a little distance from +the great Complutum." + +"Nor even that will I consent to, senor licentiate," answered Don +Quixote, "and I know it will be the good pleasure of my lady the +princess, out of love for me, to order her squire to give up the saddle +of his mule to your worship, and he can sit behind if the beast will bear +it." + +"It will, I am sure," said the princess, "and I am sure, too, that I need +not order my squire, for he is too courteous and considerate to allow a +Churchman to go on foot when he might be mounted." + +"That he is," said the barber, and at once alighting, he offered his +saddle to the curate, who accepted it without much entreaty; but +unfortunately as the barber was mounting behind, the mule, being as it +happened a hired one, which is the same thing as saying ill-conditioned, +lifted its hind hoofs and let fly a couple of kicks in the air, which +would have made Master Nicholas wish his expedition in quest of Don +Quixote at the devil had they caught him on the breast or head. As it +was, they so took him by surprise that he came to the ground, giving so +little heed to his beard that it fell off, and all he could do when he +found himself without it was to cover his face hastily with both his +hands and moan that his teeth were knocked out. Don Quixote when he saw +all that bundle of beard detached, without jaws or blood, from the face +of the fallen squire, exclaimed: + +"By the living God, but this is a great miracle! it has knocked off and +plucked away the beard from his face as if it had been shaved off +designedly." + +The curate, seeing the danger of discovery that threatened his scheme, at +once pounced upon the beard and hastened with it to where Master Nicholas +lay, still uttering moans, and drawing his head to his breast had it on +in an instant, muttering over him some words which he said were a certain +special charm for sticking on beards, as they would see; and as soon as +he had it fixed he left him, and the squire appeared well bearded and +whole as before, whereat Don Quixote was beyond measure astonished, and +begged the curate to teach him that charm when he had an opportunity, as +he was persuaded its virtue must extend beyond the sticking on of beards, +for it was clear that where the beard had been stripped off the flesh +must have remained torn and lacerated, and when it could heal all that it +must be good for more than beards. + +"And so it is," said the curate, and he promised to teach it to him on +the first opportunity. They then agreed that for the present the curate +should mount, and that the three should ride by turns until they reached +the inn, which might be about six leagues from where they were. + +Three then being mounted, that is to say, Don Quixote, the princess, and +the curate, and three on foot, Cardenio, the barber, and Sancho Panza, +Don Quixote said to the damsel: + +"Let your highness, lady, lead on whithersoever is most pleasing to you;" +but before she could answer the licentiate said: + +"Towards what kingdom would your ladyship direct our course? Is it +perchance towards that of Micomicon? It must be, or else I know little +about kingdoms." + +She, being ready on all points, understood that she was to answer "Yes," +so she said "Yes, senor, my way lies towards that kingdom." + +"In that case," said the curate, "we must pass right through my village, +and there your worship will take the road to Cartagena, where you will be +able to embark, fortune favouring; and if the wind be fair and the sea +smooth and tranquil, in somewhat less than nine years you may come in +sight of the great lake Meona, I mean Meotides, which is little more than +a hundred days' journey this side of your highness's kingdom." + +"Your worship is mistaken, senor," said she; "for it is not two years +since I set out from it, and though I never had good weather, +nevertheless I am here to behold what I so longed for, and that is my +lord Don Quixote of La Mancha, whose fame came to my ears as soon as I +set foot in Spain and impelled me to go in search of him, to commend +myself to his courtesy, and entrust the justice of my cause to the might +of his invincible arm." + +"Enough; no more praise," said Don Quixote at this, "for I hate all +flattery; and though this may not be so, still language of the kind is +offensive to my chaste ears. I will only say, senora, that whether it has +might or not, that which it may or may not have shall be devoted to your +service even to death; and now, leaving this to its proper season, I +would ask the senor licentiate to tell me what it is that has brought him +into these parts, alone, unattended, and so lightly clad that I am filled +with amazement." + +"I will answer that briefly," replied the curate; "you must know then, +Senor Don Quixote, that Master Nicholas, our friend and barber, and I +were going to Seville to receive some money that a relative of mine who +went to the Indies many years ago had sent me, and not such a small sum +but that it was over sixty thousand pieces of eight, full weight, which +is something; and passing by this place yesterday we were attacked by +four footpads, who stripped us even to our beards, and them they stripped +off so that the barber found it necessary to put on a false one, and even +this young man here"-pointing to Cardenio--"they completely transformed. +But the best of it is, the story goes in the neighbourhood that those who +attacked us belong to a number of galley slaves who, they say, were set +free almost on the very same spot by a man of such valour that, in spite +of the commissary and of the guards, he released the whole of them; and +beyond all doubt he must have been out of his senses, or he must be as +great a scoundrel as they, or some man without heart or conscience to let +the wolf loose among the sheep, the fox among the hens, the fly among the +honey. He has defrauded justice, and opposed his king and lawful master, +for he opposed his just commands; he has, I say, robbed the galleys of +their feet, stirred up the Holy Brotherhood which for many years past has +been quiet, and, lastly, has done a deed by which his soul may be lost +without any gain to his body." Sancho had told the curate and the barber +of the adventure of the galley slaves, which, so much to his glory, his +master had achieved, and hence the curate in alluding to it made the most +of it to see what would be said or done by Don Quixote; who changed +colour at every word, not daring to say that it was he who had been the +liberator of those worthy people. "These, then," said the curate, "were +they who robbed us; and God in his mercy pardon him who would not let +them go to the punishment they deserved." + +Chapter XXX. - +Which treats of address displayed by the fair Dorothea, with other +matters pleasant and amusing + +The curate had hardly ceased speaking, when Sancho said, "In faith, then, +senor licentiate, he who did that deed was my master; and it was not for +want of my telling him beforehand and warning him to mind what he was +about, and that it was a sin to set them at liberty, as they were all on +the march there because they were special scoundrels." + +"Blockhead!" said Don Quixote at this, "it is no business or concern of +knights-errant to inquire whether any persons in affliction, in chains, +or oppressed that they may meet on the high roads go that way and suffer +as they do because of their faults or because of their misfortunes. It +only concerns them to aid them as persons in need of help, having regard +to their sufferings and not to their rascalities. I encountered a chaplet +or string of miserable and unfortunate people, and did for them what my +sense of duty demands of me, and as for the rest be that as it may; and +whoever takes objection to it, saving the sacred dignity of the senor +licentiate and his honoured person, I say he knows little about chivalry +and lies like a whoreson villain, and this I will give him to know to the +fullest extent with my sword;" and so saying he settled himself in his +stirrups and pressed down his morion; for the barber's basin, which +according to him was Mambrino's helmet, he carried hanging at the +saddle-bow until he could repair the damage done to it by the galley +slaves. + +Dorothea, who was shrewd and sprightly, and by this time thoroughly +understood Don Quixote's crazy turn, and that all except Sancho Panza +were making game of him, not to be behind the rest said to him, on +observing his irritation, "Sir Knight, remember the boon you have +promised me, and that in accordance with it you must not engage in any +other adventure, be it ever so pressing; calm yourself, for if the +licentiate had known that the galley slaves had been set free by that +unconquered arm he would have stopped his mouth thrice over, or even +bitten his tongue three times before he would have said a word that +tended towards disrespect of your worship." + +"That I swear heartily," said the curate, "and I would have even plucked +off a moustache." + +"I will hold my peace, senora," said Don Quixote, "and I will curb the +natural anger that had arisen in my breast, and will proceed in peace and +quietness until I have fulfilled my promise; but in return for this +consideration I entreat you to tell me, if you have no objection to do +so, what is the nature of your trouble, and how many, who, and what are +the persons of whom I am to require due satisfaction, and on whom I am to +take vengeance on your behalf?" + +"That I will do with all my heart," replied Dorothea, "if it will not be +wearisome to you to hear of miseries and misfortunes." + +"It will not be wearisome, senora," said Don Quixote; to which Dorothea +replied, "Well, if that be so, give me your attention." As soon as she +said this, Cardenio and the barber drew close to her side, eager to hear +what sort of story the quick-witted Dorothea would invent for herself; +and Sancho did the same, for he was as much taken in by her as his +master; and she having settled herself comfortably in the saddle, and +with the help of coughing and other preliminaries taken time to think, +began with great sprightliness of manner in this fashion. + +"First of all, I would have you know, sirs, that my name is-" and here +she stopped for a moment, for she forgot the name the curate had given +her; but he came to her relief, seeing what her difficulty was, and said, +"It is no wonder, senora, that your highness should be confused and +embarrassed in telling the tale of your misfortunes; for such afflictions +often have the effect of depriving the sufferers of memory, so that they +do not even remember their own names, as is the case now with your +ladyship, who has forgotten that she is called the Princess Micomicona, +lawful heiress of the great kingdom of Micomicon; and with this cue your +highness may now recall to your sorrowful recollection all you may wish +to tell us." + +"That is the truth," said the damsel; "but I think from this on I shall +have no need of any prompting, and I shall bring my true story safe into +port, and here it is. The king my father, who was called Tinacrio the +Sapient, was very learned in what they call magic arts, and became aware +by his craft that my mother, who was called Queen Jaramilla, was to die +before he did, and that soon after he too was to depart this life, and I +was to be left an orphan without father or mother. But all this, he +declared, did not so much grieve or distress him as his certain knowledge +that a prodigious giant, the lord of a great island close to our kingdom, +Pandafilando of the Scowl by name--for it is averred that, though his +eyes are properly placed and straight, he always looks askew as if he +squinted, and this he does out of malignity, to strike fear and terror +into those he looks at--that he knew, I say, that this giant on becoming +aware of my orphan condition would overrun my kingdom with a mighty force +and strip me of all, not leaving me even a small village to shelter me; +but that I could avoid all this ruin and misfortune if I were willing to +marry him; however, as far as he could see, he never expected that I +would consent to a marriage so unequal; and he said no more than the +truth in this, for it has never entered my mind to marry that giant, or +any other, let him be ever so great or enormous. My father said, too, +that when he was dead, and I saw Pandafilando about to invade my kingdom, +I was not to wait and attempt to defend myself, for that would be +destructive to me, but that I should leave the kingdom entirely open to +him if I wished to avoid the death and total destruction of my good and +loyal vassals, for there would be no possibility of defending myself +against the giant's devilish power; and that I should at once with some +of my followers set out for Spain, where I should obtain relief in my +distress on finding a certain knight-errant whose fame by that time would +extend over the whole kingdom, and who would be called, if I remember +rightly, Don Azote or Don Gigote." + +"'Don Quixote,' he must have said, senora," observed Sancho at this, +"otherwise called the Knight of the Rueful Countenance." + +"That is it," said Dorothea; "he said, moreover, that he would be tall of +stature and lank featured; and that on his right side under the left +shoulder, or thereabouts, he would have a grey mole with hairs like +bristles." + +On hearing this, Don Quixote said to his squire, "Here, Sancho my son, +bear a hand and help me to strip, for I want to see if I am the knight +that sage king foretold." + +"What does your worship want to strip for?" said Dorothea. + +"To see if I have that mole your father spoke of," answered Don Quixote. + +"There is no occasion to strip," said Sancho; "for I know your worship +has just such a mole on the middle of your backbone, which is the mark of +a strong man." + +"That is enough," said Dorothea, "for with friends we must not look too +closely into trifles; and whether it be on the shoulder or on the +backbone matters little; it is enough if there is a mole, be it where it +may, for it is all the same flesh; no doubt my good father hit the truth +in every particular, and I have made a lucky hit in commending myself to +Don Quixote; for he is the one my father spoke of, as the features of his +countenance correspond with those assigned to this knight by that wide +fame he has acquired not only in Spain but in all La Mancha; for I had +scarcely landed at Osuna when I heard such accounts of his achievements, +that at once my heart told me he was the very one I had come in search +of." + +"But how did you land at Osuna, senora," asked Don Quixote, "when it is +not a seaport?" + +But before Dorothea could reply the curate anticipated her, saying, "The +princess meant to say that after she had landed at Malaga the first place +where she heard of your worship was Osuna." + +"That is what I meant to say," said Dorothea. + +"And that would be only natural," said the curate. "Will your majesty +please proceed?" + +"There is no more to add," said Dorothea, "save that in finding Don +Quixote I have had such good fortune, that I already reckon and regard +myself queen and mistress of my entire dominions, since of his courtesy +and magnanimity he has granted me the boon of accompanying me +whithersoever I may conduct him, which will be only to bring him face to +face with Pandafilando of the Scowl, that he may slay him and restore to +me what has been unjustly usurped by him: for all this must come to pass +satisfactorily since my good father Tinacrio the Sapient foretold it, who +likewise left it declared in writing in Chaldee or Greek characters (for +I cannot read them), that if this predicted knight, after having cut the +giant's throat, should be disposed to marry me I was to offer myself at +once without demur as his lawful wife, and yield him possession of my +kingdom together with my person." + +"What thinkest thou now, friend Sancho?" said Don Quixote at this. +"Hearest thou that? Did I not tell thee so? See how we have already got a +kingdom to govern and a queen to marry!" + +"On my oath it is so," said Sancho; "and foul fortune to him who won't +marry after slitting Senor Pandahilado's windpipe! And then, how +ill-favoured the queen is! I wish the fleas in my bed were that sort!" + +And so saying he cut a couple of capers in the air with every sign of +extreme satisfaction, and then ran to seize the bridle of Dorothea's +mule, and checking it fell on his knees before her, begging her to give +him her hand to kiss in token of his acknowledgment of her as his queen +and mistress. Which of the bystanders could have helped laughing to see +the madness of the master and the simplicity of the servant? Dorothea +therefore gave her hand, and promised to make him a great lord in her +kingdom, when Heaven should be so good as to permit her to recover and +enjoy it, for which Sancho returned thanks in words that set them all +laughing again. + +"This, sirs," continued Dorothea, "is my story; it only remains to tell +you that of all the attendants I took with me from my kingdom I have none +left except this well-bearded squire, for all were drowned in a great +tempest we encountered when in sight of port; and he and I came to land +on a couple of planks as if by a miracle; and indeed the whole course of +my life is a miracle and a mystery as you may have observed; and if I +have been over minute in any respect or not as precise as I ought, let it +be accounted for by what the licentiate said at the beginning of my tale, +that constant and excessive troubles deprive the sufferers of their +memory." + +"They shall not deprive me of mine, exalted and worthy princess," said +Don Quixote, "however great and unexampled those which I shall endure in +your service may be; and here I confirm anew the boon I have promised +you, and I swear to go with you to the end of the world until I find +myself in the presence of your fierce enemy, whose haughty head I trust +by the aid of my arm to cut off with the edge of this--I will not say +good sword, thanks to Gines de Pasamonte who carried away mine"--(this he +said between his teeth, and then continued), "and when it has been cut +off and you have been put in peaceful possession of your realm it shall +be left to your own decision to dispose of your person as may be most +pleasing to you; for so long as my memory is occupied, my will enslaved, +and my understanding enthralled by her-I say no more--it is impossible +for me for a moment to contemplate marriage, even with a Phoenix." + +The last words of his master about not wanting to marry were so +disagreeable to Sancho that raising his voice he exclaimed with great +irritation: + +"By my oath, Senor Don Quixote, you are not in your right senses; for how +can your worship possibly object to marrying such an exalted princess as +this? Do you think Fortune will offer you behind every stone such a piece +of luck as is offered you now? Is my lady Dulcinea fairer, perchance? Not +she; nor half as fair; and I will even go so far as to say she does not +come up to the shoe of this one here. A poor chance I have of getting +that county I am waiting for if your worship goes looking for dainties in +the bottom of the sea. In the devil's name, marry, marry, and take this +kingdom that comes to hand without any trouble, and when you are king +make me a marquis or governor of a province, and for the rest let the +devil take it all." + +Don Quixote, when he heard such blasphemies uttered against his lady +Dulcinea, could not endure it, and lifting his pike, without saying +anything to Sancho or uttering a word, he gave him two such thwacks that +he brought him to the ground; and had it not been that Dorothea cried out +to him to spare him he would have no doubt taken his life on the spot. + +"Do you think," he said to him after a pause, "you scurvy clown, that you +are to be always interfering with me, and that you are to be always +offending and I always pardoning? Don't fancy it, impious scoundrel, for +that beyond a doubt thou art, since thou hast set thy tongue going +against the peerless Dulcinea. Know you not, lout, vagabond, beggar, that +were it not for the might that she infuses into my arm I should not have +strength enough to kill a flea? Say, scoffer with a viper's tongue, what +think you has won this kingdom and cut off this giant's head and made you +a marquis (for all this I count as already accomplished and decided), but +the might of Dulcinea, employing my arm as the instrument of her +achievements? She fights in me and conquers in me, and I live and breathe +in her, and owe my life and being to her. O whoreson scoundrel, how +ungrateful you are, you see yourself raised from the dust of the earth to +be a titled lord, and the return you make for so great a benefit is to +speak evil of her who has conferred it upon you!" + +Sancho was not so stunned but that he heard all his master said, and +rising with some degree of nimbleness he ran to place himself behind +Dorothea's palfrey, and from that position he said to his master: + +"Tell me, senor; if your worship is resolved not to marry this great +princess, it is plain the kingdom will not be yours; and not being so, +how can you bestow favours upon me? That is what I complain of. Let your +worship at any rate marry this queen, now that we have got her here as if +showered down from heaven, and afterwards you may go back to my lady +Dulcinea; for there must have been kings in the world who kept +mistresses. As to beauty, I have nothing to do with it; and if the truth +is to be told, I like them both; though I have never seen the lady +Dulcinea." + +"How! never seen her, blasphemous traitor!" exclaimed Don Quixote; "hast +thou not just now brought me a message from her?" + +"I mean," said Sancho, "that I did not see her so much at my leisure that +I could take particular notice of her beauty, or of her charms piecemeal; +but taken in the lump I like her." + +"Now I forgive thee," said Don Quixote; "and do thou forgive me the +injury I have done thee; for our first impulses are not in our control." + +"That I see," replied Sancho, "and with me the wish to speak is always +the first impulse, and I cannot help saying, once at any rate, what I +have on the tip of my tongue." + +"For all that, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "take heed of what thou sayest, +for the pitcher goes so often to the well--I need say no more to thee." + +"Well, well," said Sancho, "God is in heaven, and sees all tricks, and +will judge who does most harm, I in not speaking right, or your worship +in not doing it." + +"That is enough," said Dorothea; "run, Sancho, and kiss your lord's hand +and beg his pardon, and henceforward be more circumspect with your praise +and abuse; and say nothing in disparagement of that lady Toboso, of whom +I know nothing save that I am her servant; and put your trust in God, for +you will not fail to obtain some dignity so as to live like a prince." + +Sancho advanced hanging his head and begged his master's hand, which Don +Quixote with dignity presented to him, giving him his blessing as soon as +he had kissed it; he then bade him go on ahead a little, as he had +questions to ask him and matters of great importance to discuss with him. +Sancho obeyed, and when the two had gone some distance in advance Don +Quixote said to him, "Since thy return I have had no opportunity or time +to ask thee many particulars touching thy mission and the answer thou +hast brought back, and now that chance has granted us the time and +opportunity, deny me not the happiness thou canst give me by such good +news." + +"Let your worship ask what you will," answered Sancho, "for I shall find +a way out of all as as I found a way in; but I implore you, senor, not +not to be so revengeful in future." + +"Why dost thou say that, Sancho?" said Don Quixote. + +"I say it," he returned, "because those blows just now were more because +of the quarrel the devil stirred up between us both the other night, than +for what I said against my lady Dulcinea, whom I love and reverence as I +would a relic--though there is nothing of that about her--merely as +something belonging to your worship." + +"Say no more on that subject for thy life, Sancho," said Don Quixote, +"for it is displeasing to me; I have already pardoned thee for that, and +thou knowest the common saying, 'for a fresh sin a fresh penance.'" + +While this was going on they saw coming along the road they were +following a man mounted on an ass, who when he came close seemed to be a +gipsy; but Sancho Panza, whose eyes and heart were there wherever he saw +asses, no sooner beheld the man than he knew him to be Gines de +Pasamonte; and by the thread of the gipsy he got at the ball, his ass, +for it was, in fact, Dapple that carried Pasamonte, who to escape +recognition and to sell the ass had disguised himself as a gipsy, being +able to speak the gipsy language, and many more, as well as if they were +his own. Sancho saw him and recognised him, and the instant he did so he +shouted to him, "Ginesillo, you thief, give up my treasure, release my +life, embarrass thyself not with my repose, quit my ass, leave my +delight, be off, rip, get thee gone, thief, and give up what is not +thine." + +There was no necessity for so many words or objurgations, for at the +first one Gines jumped down, and at a like racing speed made off and got +clear of them all. Sancho hastened to his Dapple, and embracing him he +said, "How hast thou fared, my blessing, Dapple of my eyes, my comrade?" +all the while kissing him and caressing him as if he were a human being. +The ass held his peace, and let himself be kissed and caressed by Sancho +without answering a single word. They all came up and congratulated him +on having found Dapple, Don Quixote especially, who told him that +notwithstanding this he would not cancel the order for the three +ass-colts, for which Sancho thanked him. + +While the two had been going along conversing in this fashion, the curate +observed to Dorothea that she had shown great cleverness, as well in the +story itself as in its conciseness, and the resemblance it bore to those +of the books of chivalry. She said that she had many times amused herself +reading them; but that she did not know the situation of the provinces or +seaports, and so she had said at haphazard that she had landed at Osuna. + +"So I saw," said the curate, "and for that reason I made haste to say +what I did, by which it was all set right. But is it not a strange thing +to see how readily this unhappy gentleman believes all these figments and +lies, simply because they are in the style and manner of the absurdities +of his books?" + +"So it is," said Cardenio; "and so uncommon and unexampled, that were one +to attempt to invent and concoct it in fiction, I doubt if there be any +wit keen enough to imagine it." + +"But another strange thing about it," said the curate, "is that, apart +from the silly things which this worthy gentleman says in connection with +his craze, when other subjects are dealt with, he can discuss them in a +perfectly rational manner, showing that his mind is quite clear and +composed; so that, provided his chivalry is not touched upon, no one +would take him to be anything but a man of thoroughly sound +understanding." + +While they were holding this conversation Don Quixote continued his with +Sancho, saying: + +"Friend Panza, let us forgive and forget as to our quarrels, and tell me +now, dismissing anger and irritation, where, how, and when didst thou +find Dulcinea? What was she doing? What didst thou say to her? What did +she answer? How did she look when she was reading my letter? Who copied +it out for thee? and everything in the matter that seems to thee worth +knowing, asking, and learning; neither adding nor falsifying to give me +pleasure, nor yet curtailing lest you should deprive me of it." + +"Senor," replied Sancho, "if the truth is to be told, nobody copied out +the letter for me, for I carried no letter at all." + +"It is as thou sayest," said Don Quixote, "for the note-book in which I +wrote it I found in my own possession two days after thy departure, which +gave me very great vexation, as I knew not what thou wouldst do on +finding thyself without any letter; and I made sure thou wouldst return +from the place where thou didst first miss it." + +"So I should have done," said Sancho, "if I had not got it by heart when +your worship read it to me, so that I repeated it to a sacristan, who +copied it out for me from hearing it, so exactly that he said in all the +days of his life, though he had read many a letter of excommunication, he +had never seen or read so pretty a letter as that." + +"And hast thou got it still in thy memory, Sancho?" said Don Quixote. + +"No, senor," replied Sancho, "for as soon as I had repeated it, seeing +there was no further use for it, I set about forgetting it; and if I +recollect any of it, it is that about 'Scrubbing,'I mean to say +'Sovereign Lady,' and the end 'Yours till death, the Knight of the Rueful +Countenance;' and between these two I put into it more than three hundred +'my souls' and 'my life's' and 'my eyes." + +Chapter XXXI. - +Of the delectable discussion between Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, his +squire, together with other incidents + +"All that is not unsatisfactory to me," said Don Quixote. "Go on; thou +didst reach her; and what was that queen of beauty doing? Surely thou +didst find her stringing pearls, or embroidering some device in gold +thread for this her enslaved knight." + +"I did not," said Sancho, "but I found her winnowing two bushels of wheat +in the yard of her house." + +"Then depend upon it," said Don Quixote, "the grains of that wheat were +pearls when touched by her hands; and didst thou look, friend? was it +white wheat or brown?" + +"It was neither, but red," said Sancho. + +"Then I promise thee," said Don Quixote, "that, winnowed by her hands, +beyond a doubt the bread it made was of the whitest; but go on; when thou +gavest her my letter, did she kiss it? Did she place it on her head? Did +she perform any ceremony befitting it, or what did she do?" + +"When I went to give it to her," replied Sancho, "she was hard at it +swaying from side to side with a lot of wheat she had in the sieve, and +she said to me, 'Lay the letter, friend, on the top of that sack, for I +cannot read it until I have done sifting all this." + +"Discreet lady!" said Don Quixote; "that was in order to read it at her +leisure and enjoy it; proceed, Sancho; while she was engaged in her +occupation what converse did she hold with thee? What did she ask about +me, and what answer didst thou give? Make haste; tell me all, and let not +an atom be left behind in the ink-bottle." + +"She asked me nothing," said Sancho; "but I told her how your worship was +left doing penance in her service, naked from the waist up, in among +these mountains like a savage, sleeping on the ground, not eating bread +off a tablecloth nor combing your beard, weeping and cursing your +fortune." + +"In saying I cursed my fortune thou saidst wrong," said Don Quixote; "for +rather do I bless it and shall bless it all the days of my life for +having made me worthy of aspiring to love so lofty a lady as Dulcinea del +Toboso." + +"And so lofty she is," said Sancho, "that she overtops me by more than a +hand's-breadth." + +"What! Sancho," said Don Quixote, "didst thou measure with her?" + +"I measured in this way," said Sancho; "going to help her to put a sack +of wheat on the back of an ass, we came so close together that I could +see she stood more than a good palm over me." + +"Well!" said Don Quixote, "and doth she not of a truth accompany and +adorn this greatness with a thousand million charms of mind! But one +thing thou wilt not deny, Sancho; when thou camest close to her didst +thou not perceive a Sabaean odour, an aromatic fragrance, a, I know not +what, delicious, that I cannot find a name for; I mean a redolence, an +exhalation, as if thou wert in the shop of some dainty glover?" + +"All I can say is," said Sancho, "that I did perceive a little odour, +something goaty; it must have been that she was all in a sweat with hard +work." + +"It could not be that," said Don Quixote, "but thou must have been +suffering from cold in the head, or must have smelt thyself; for I know +well what would be the scent of that rose among thorns, that lily of the +field, that dissolved amber." + +"Maybe so," replied Sancho; "there often comes from myself that same +odour which then seemed to me to come from her grace the lady Dulcinea; +but that's no wonder, for one devil is like another." + +"Well then," continued Don Quixote, "now she has done sifting the corn +and sent it to the mill; what did she do when she read the letter?" + +"As for the letter," said Sancho, "she did not read it, for she said she +could neither read nor write; instead of that she tore it up into small +pieces, saying that she did not want to let anyone read it lest her +secrets should become known in the village, and that what I had told her +by word of mouth about the love your worship bore her, and the +extraordinary penance you were doing for her sake, was enough; and, to +make an end of it, she told me to tell your worship that she kissed your +hands, and that she had a greater desire to see you than to write to you; +and that therefore she entreated and commanded you, on sight of this +present, to come out of these thickets, and to have done with carrying on +absurdities, and to set out at once for El Toboso, unless something else +of greater importance should happen, for she had a great desire to see +your worship. She laughed greatly when I told her how your worship was +called The Knight of the Rueful Countenance; I asked her if that Biscayan +the other day had been there; and she told me he had, and that he was an +honest fellow; I asked her too about the galley slaves, but she said she +had not seen any as yet." + +"So far all goes well," said Don Quixote; "but tell me what jewel was it +that she gave thee on taking thy leave, in return for thy tidings of me? +For it is a usual and ancient custom with knights and ladies errant to +give the squires, damsels, or dwarfs who bring tidings of their ladies to +the knights, or of their knights to the ladies, some rich jewel as a +guerdon for good news,' and acknowledgment of the message." + +"That is very likely," said Sancho, "and a good custom it was, to my +mind; but that must have been in days gone by, for now it would seem to +be the custom only to give a piece of bread and cheese; because that was +what my lady Dulcinea gave me over the top of the yard-wall when I took +leave of her; and more by token it was sheep's-milk cheese." + +"She is generous in the extreme," said Don Quixote, "and if she did not +give thee a jewel of gold, no doubt it must have been because she had not +one to hand there to give thee; but sleeves are good after Easter; I +shall see her and all shall be made right. But knowest thou what amazes +me, Sancho? It seems to me thou must have gone and come through the air, +for thou hast taken but little more than three days to go to El Toboso +and return, though it is more than thirty leagues from here to there. +From which I am inclined to think that the sage magician who is my +friend, and watches over my interests (for of necessity there is and must +be one, or else I should not be a right knight-errant), that this same, I +say, must have helped thee to travel without thy knowledge; for some of +these sages will catch up a knight-errant sleeping in his bed, and +without his knowing how or in what way it happened, he wakes up the next +day more than a thousand leagues away from the place where he went to +sleep. And if it were not for this, knights-errant would not be able to +give aid to one another in peril, as they do at every turn. For a knight, +maybe, is fighting in the mountains of Armenia with some dragon, or +fierce serpent, or another knight, and gets the worst of the battle, and +is at the point of death; but when he least looks for it, there appears +over against him on a cloud, or chariot of fire, another knight, a friend +of his, who just before had been in England, and who takes his part, and +delivers him from death; and at night he finds himself in his own +quarters supping very much to his satisfaction; and yet from one place to +the other will have been two or three thousand leagues. And all this is +done by the craft and skill of the sage enchanters who take care of those +valiant knights; so that, friend Sancho, I find no difficulty in +believing that thou mayest have gone from this place to El Toboso and +returned in such a short time, since, as I have said, some friendly sage +must have carried thee through the air without thee perceiving it." + +"That must have been it," said Sancho, "for indeed Rocinante went like a +gipsy's ass with quicksilver in his ears." + +"Quicksilver!" said Don Quixote, "aye and what is more, a legion of +devils, folk that can travel and make others travel without being weary, +exactly as the whim seizes them. But putting this aside, what thinkest +thou I ought to do about my lady's command to go and see her? For though +I feel that I am bound to obey her mandate, I feel too that I am debarred +by the boon I have accorded to the princess that accompanies us, and the +law of chivalry compels me to have regard for my word in preference to my +inclination; on the one hand the desire to see my lady pursues and +harasses me, on the other my solemn promise and the glory I shall win in +this enterprise urge and call me; but what I think I shall do is to +travel with all speed and reach quickly the place where this giant is, +and on my arrival I shall cut off his head, and establish the princess +peacefully in her realm, and forthwith I shall return to behold the light +that lightens my senses, to whom I shall make such excuses that she will +be led to approve of my delay, for she will see that it entirely tends to +increase her glory and fame; for all that I have won, am winning, or +shall win by arms in this life, comes to me of the favour she extends to +me, and because I am hers." + +"Ah! what a sad state your worship's brains are in!" said Sancho. "Tell +me, senor, do you mean to travel all that way for nothing, and to let +slip and lose so rich and great a match as this where they give as a +portion a kingdom that in sober truth I have heard say is more than +twenty thousand leagues round about, and abounds with all things +necessary to support human life, and is bigger than Portugal and Castile +put together? Peace, for the love of God! Blush for what you have said, +and take my advice, and forgive me, and marry at once in the first +village where there is a curate; if not, here is our licentiate who will +do the business beautifully; remember, I am old enough to give advice, +and this I am giving comes pat to the purpose; for a sparrow in the hand +is better than a vulture on the wing, and he who has the good to his hand +and chooses the bad, that the good he complains of may not come to him." + +"Look here, Sancho," said Don Quixote. "If thou art advising me to marry, +in order that immediately on slaying the giant I may become king, and be +able to confer favours on thee, and give thee what I have promised, let +me tell thee I shall be able very easily to satisfy thy desires without +marrying; for before going into battle I will make it a stipulation that, +if I come out of it victorious, even I do not marry, they shall give me a +portion portion of the kingdom, that I may bestow it upon whomsoever I +choose, and when they give it to me upon whom wouldst thou have me bestow +it but upon thee?" + +"That is plain speaking," said Sancho; "but let your worship take care to +choose it on the seacoast, so that if I don't like the life, I may be +able to ship off my black vassals and deal with them as I have said; +don't mind going to see my lady Dulcinea now, but go and kill this giant +and let us finish off this business; for by God it strikes me it will be +one of great honour and great profit." + +"I hold thou art in the right of it, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "and I +will take thy advice as to accompanying the princess before going to see +Dulcinea; but I counsel thee not to say anything to any one, or to those +who are with us, about what we have considered and discussed, for as +Dulcinea is so decorous that she does not wish her thoughts to be known +it is not right that I or anyone for me should disclose them." + +"Well then, if that be so," said Sancho, "how is it that your worship +makes all those you overcome by your arm go to present themselves before +my lady Dulcinea, this being the same thing as signing your name to it +that you love her and are her lover? And as those who go must perforce +kneel before her and say they come from your worship to submit themselves +to her, how can the thoughts of both of you be hid?" + +"O, how silly and simple thou art!" said Don Quixote; "seest thou not, +Sancho, that this tends to her greater exaltation? For thou must know +that according to our way of thinking in chivalry, it is a high honour to +a lady to have many knights-errant in her service, whose thoughts never +go beyond serving her for her own sake, and who look for no other reward +for their great and true devotion than that she should be willing to +accept them as her knights." + +"It is with that kind of love," said Sancho, "I have heard preachers say +we ought to love our Lord, for himself alone, without being moved by the +hope of glory or the fear of punishment; though for my part, I would +rather love and serve him for what he could do." + +"The devil take thee for a clown!" said Don Quixote, "and what shrewd +things thou sayest at times! One would think thou hadst studied." + +"In faith, then, I cannot even read." + +Master Nicholas here called out to them to wait a while, as they wanted +to halt and drink at a little spring there was there. Don Quixote drew +up, not a little to the satisfaction of Sancho, for he was by this time +weary of telling so many lies, and in dread of his master catching him +tripping, for though he knew that Dulcinea was a peasant girl of El +Toboso, he had never seen her in all his life. Cardenio had now put on +the clothes which Dorothea was wearing when they found her, and though +they were not very good, they were far better than those he put off. They +dismounted together by the side of the spring, and with what the curate +had provided himself with at the inn they appeased, though not very well, +the keen appetite they all of them brought with them. + +While they were so employed there happened to come by a youth passing on +his way, who stopping to examine the party at the spring, the next moment +ran to Don Quixote and clasping him round the legs, began to weep freely, +saying, "O, senor, do you not know me? Look at me well; I am that lad +Andres that your worship released from the oak-tree where I was tied." + +Don Quixote recognised him, and taking his hand he turned to those +present and said: "That your worships may see how important it is to have +knights-errant to redress the wrongs and injuries done by tyrannical and +wicked men in this world, I may tell you that some days ago passing +through a wood, I heard cries and piteous complaints as of a person in +pain and distress; I immediately hastened, impelled by my bounden duty, +to the quarter whence the plaintive accents seemed to me to proceed, and +I found tied to an oak this lad who now stands before you, which in my +heart I rejoice at, for his testimony will not permit me to depart from +the truth in any particular. He was, I say, tied to an oak, naked from +the waist up, and a clown, whom I afterwards found to be his master, was +scarifying him by lashes with the reins of his mare. As soon as I saw him +I asked the reason of so cruel a flagellation. The boor replied that he +was flogging him because he was his servant and because of carelessness +that proceeded rather from dishonesty than stupidity; on which this boy +said, 'Senor, he flogs me only because I ask for my wages.' The master +made I know not what speeches and explanations, which, though I listened +to them, I did not accept. In short, I compelled the clown to unbind him, +and to swear he would take him with him, and pay him real by real, and +perfumed into the bargain. Is not all this true, Andres my son? Didst +thou not mark with what authority I commanded him, and with what humility +he promised to do all I enjoined, specified, and required of him? Answer +without hesitation; tell these gentlemen what took place, that they may +see that it is as great an advantage as I say to have knights-errant +abroad." + +"All that your worship has said is quite true," answered the lad; "but +the end of the business turned out just the opposite of what your worship +supposes." + +"How! the opposite?" said Don Quixote; "did not the clown pay thee then?" + +"Not only did he not pay me," replied the lad, "but as soon as your +worship had passed out of the wood and we were alone, he tied me up again +to the same oak and gave me a fresh flogging, that left me like a flayed +Saint Bartholomew; and every stroke he gave me he followed up with some +jest or gibe about having made a fool of your worship, and but for the +pain I was suffering I should have laughed at the things he said. In +short he left me in such a condition that I have been until now in a +hospital getting cured of the injuries which that rascally clown +inflicted on me then; for all which your worship is to blame; for if you +had gone your own way and not come where there was no call for you, nor +meddled in other people's affairs, my master would have been content with +giving me one or two dozen lashes, and would have then loosed me and paid +me what he owed me; but when your worship abused him so out of measure, +and gave him so many hard words, his anger was kindled; and as he could +not revenge himself on you, as soon as he saw you had left him the storm +burst upon me in such a way, that I feel as if I should never be a man +again." + +"The mischief," said Don Quixote, "lay in my going away; for I should not +have gone until I had seen thee paid; because I ought to have known well +by long experience that there is no clown who will keep his word if he +finds it will not suit him to keep it; but thou rememberest, Andres, that +I swore if he did not pay thee I would go and seek him, and find him +though he were to hide himself in the whale's belly." + +"That is true," said Andres; "but it was of no use." + +"Thou shalt see now whether it is of use or not," said Don Quixote; and +so saying, he got up hastily and bade Sancho bridle Rocinante, who was +browsing while they were eating. Dorothea asked him what he meant to do. +He replied that he meant to go in search of this clown and chastise him +for such iniquitous conduct, and see Andres paid to the last maravedi, +despite and in the teeth of all the clowns in the world. To which she +replied that he must remember that in accordance with his promise he +could not engage in any enterprise until he had concluded hers; and that +as he knew this better than anyone, he should restrain his ardour until +his return from her kingdom. + +"That is true," said Don Quixote, "and Andres must have patience until my +return as you say, senora; but I once more swear and promise not to stop +until I have seen him avenged and paid." + +"I have no faith in those oaths," said Andres; "I would rather have now +something to help me to get to Seville than all the revenges in the +world; if you have here anything to eat that I can take with me, give it +me, and God be with your worship and all knights-errant; and may their +errands turn out as well for themselves as they have for me." + +Sancho took out from his store a piece of bread and another of cheese, +and giving them to the lad he said, "Here, take this, brother Andres, for +we have all of us a share in your misfortune." + +"Why, what share have you got?" + +"This share of bread and cheese I am giving you," answered Sancho; "and +God knows whether I shall feel the want of it myself or not; for I would +have you know, friend, that we squires to knights-errant have to bear a +great deal of hunger and hard fortune, and even other things more easily +felt than told." + +Andres seized his bread and cheese, and seeing that nobody gave him +anything more, bent his head, and took hold of the road, as the saying +is. However, before leaving he said, "For the love of God, sir +knight-errant, if you ever meet me again, though you may see them cutting +me to pieces, give me no aid or succour, but leave me to my misfortune, +which will not be so great but that a greater will come to me by being +helped by your worship, on whom and all the knights-errant that have ever +been born God send his curse." + +Don Quixote was getting up to chastise him, but he took to his heels at +such a pace that no one attempted to follow him; and mightily chapfallen +was Don Quixote at Andres' story, and the others had to take great care +to restrain their laughter so as not to put him entirely out of +countenance. + +Chapter XXXII. - +Which treats of what befell Don Quixote's party at the inn + +Their dainty repast being finished, they saddled at once, and without any +adventure worth mentioning they reached next day the inn, the object of +Sancho Panza's fear and dread; but though he would have rather not +entered it, there was no help for it. The landlady, the landlord, their +daughter, and Maritornes, when they saw Don Quixote and Sancho coming, +went out to welcome them with signs of hearty satisfaction, which Don +Quixote received with dignity and gravity, and bade them make up a better +bed for him than the last time: to which the landlady replied that if he +paid better than he did the last time she would give him one fit for a +prince. Don Quixote said he would, so they made up a tolerable one for +him in the same garret as before; and he lay down at once, being sorely +shaken and in want of sleep. + +No sooner was the door shut upon him than the landlady made at the +barber, and seizing him by the beard, said: + +"By my faith you are not going to make a beard of my tail any longer; you +must give me back tail, for it is a shame the way that thing of my +husband's goes tossing about on the floor; I mean the comb that I used to +stick in my good tail." + +But for all she tugged at it the barber would not give it up until the +licentiate told him to let her have it, as there was now no further +occasion for that stratagem, because he might declare himself and appear +in his own character, and tell Don Quixote that he had fled to this inn +when those thieves the galley slaves robbed him; and should he ask for +the princess's squire, they could tell him that she had sent him on +before her to give notice to the people of her kingdom that she was +coming, and bringing with her the deliverer of them all. On this the +barber cheerfully restored the tail to the landlady, and at the same time +they returned all the accessories they had borrowed to effect Don +Quixote's deliverance. All the people of the inn were struck with +astonishment at the beauty of Dorothea, and even at the comely figure of +the shepherd Cardenio. The curate made them get ready such fare as there +was in the inn, and the landlord, in hope of better payment, served them +up a tolerably good dinner. All this time Don Quixote was asleep, and +they thought it best not to waken him, as sleeping would now do him more +good than eating. + +While at dinner, the company consisting of the landlord, his wife, their +daughter, Maritornes, and all the travellers, they discussed the strange +craze of Don Quixote and the manner in which he had been found; and the +landlady told them what had taken place between him and the carrier; and +then, looking round to see if Sancho was there, when she saw he was not, +she gave them the whole story of his blanketing, which they received with +no little amusement. But on the curate observing that it was the books of +chivalry which Don Quixote had read that had turned his brain, the +landlord said: + +"I cannot understand how that can be, for in truth to my mind there is no +better reading in the world, and I have here two or three of them, with +other writings that are the very life, not only of myself but of plenty +more; for when it is harvest-time, the reapers flock here on holidays, +and there is always one among them who can read and who takes up one of +these books, and we gather round him, thirty or more of us, and stay +listening to him with a delight that makes our grey hairs grow young +again. At least I can say for myself that when I hear of what furious and +terrible blows the knights deliver, I am seized with the longing to do +the same, and I would like to be hearing about them night and day." + +"And I just as much," said the landlady, "because I never have a quiet +moment in my house except when you are listening to some one reading; for +then you are so taken up that for the time being you forget to scold." + +"That is true," said Maritornes; "and, faith, I relish hearing these +things greatly too, for they are very pretty; especially when they +describe some lady or another in the arms of her knight under the orange +trees, and the duenna who is keeping watch for them half dead with envy +and fright; all this I say is as good as honey." + +"And you, what do you think, young lady?" said the curate turning to the +landlord's daughter. + +"I don't know indeed, senor," said she; "I listen too, and to tell the +truth, though I do not understand it, I like hearing it; but it is not +the blows that my father likes that I like, but the laments the knights +utter when they are separated from their ladies; and indeed they +sometimes make me weep with the pity I feel for them." + +"Then you would console them if it was for you they wept, young lady?" +said Dorothea. + +"I don't know what I should do," said the girl; "I only know that there +are some of those ladies so cruel that they call their knights tigers and +lions and a thousand other foul names: and Jesus! I don't know what sort +of folk they can be, so unfeeling and heartless, that rather than bestow +a glance upon a worthy man they leave him to die or go mad. I don't know +what is the good of such prudery; if it is for honour's sake, why not +marry them? That's all they want." + +"Hush, child," said the landlady; "it seems to me thou knowest a great +deal about these things, and it is not fit for girls to know or talk so +much." + +"As the gentleman asked me, I could not help answering him," said the +girl. + +"Well then," said the curate, "bring me these books, senor landlord, for +I should like to see them." + +"With all my heart," said he, and going into his own room he brought out +an old valise secured with a little chain, on opening which the curate +found in it three large books and some manuscripts written in a very good +hand. The first that he opened he found to be "Don Cirongilio of Thrace," +and the second "Don Felixmarte of Hircania," and the other the "History +of the Great Captain Gonzalo Hernandez de Cordova, with the Life of Diego +Garcia de Paredes." + +When the curate read the two first titles he looked over at the barber +and said, "We want my friend's housekeeper and niece here now." + +"Nay," said the barber, "I can do just as well to carry them to the yard +or to the hearth, and there is a very good fire there." + +"What! your worship would burn my books!" said the landlord. + +"Only these two," said the curate, "Don Cirongilio, and Felixmarte." + +"Are my books, then, heretics or phlegmaties that you want to burn them?" +said the landlord. + +"Schismatics you mean, friend," said the barber, "not phlegmatics." + +"That's it," said the landlord; "but if you want to burn any, let it be +that about the Great Captain and that Diego Garcia; for I would rather +have a child of mine burnt than either of the others." + +"Brother," said the curate, "those two books are made up of lies, and are +full of folly and nonsense; but this of the Great Captain is a true +history, and contains the deeds of Gonzalo Hernandez of Cordova, who by +his many and great achievements earned the title all over the world of +the Great Captain, a famous and illustrious name, and deserved by him +alone; and this Diego Garcia de Paredes was a distinguished knight of the +city of Trujillo in Estremadura, a most gallant soldier, and of such +bodily strength that with one finger he stopped a mill-wheel in full +motion; and posted with a two-handed sword at the foot of a bridge he +kept the whole of an immense army from passing over it, and achieved such +other exploits that if, instead of his relating them himself with the +modesty of a knight and of one writing his own history, some free and +unbiassed writer had recorded them, they would have thrown into the shade +all the deeds of the Hectors, Achilleses, and Rolands." + +"Tell that to my father," said the landlord. "There's a thing to be +astonished at! Stopping a mill-wheel! By God your worship should read +what I have read of Felixmarte of Hircania, how with one single +backstroke he cleft five giants asunder through the middle as if they had +been made of bean-pods like the little friars the children make; and +another time he attacked a very great and powerful army, in which there +were more than a million six hundred thousand soldiers, all armed from +head to foot, and he routed them all as if they had been flocks of sheep. + +"And then, what do you say to the good Cirongilio of Thrace, that was so +stout and bold; as may be seen in the book, where it is related that as +he was sailing along a river there came up out of the midst of the water +against him a fiery serpent, and he, as soon as he saw it, flung himself +upon it and got astride of its scaly shoulders, and squeezed its throat +with both hands with such force that the serpent, finding he was +throttling it, had nothing for it but to let itself sink to the bottom of +the river, carrying with it the knight who would not let go his hold; and +when they got down there he found himself among palaces and gardens so +pretty that it was a wonder to see; and then the serpent changed itself +into an old ancient man, who told him such things as were never heard. +Hold your peace, senor; for if you were to hear this you would go mad +with delight. A couple of figs for your Great Captain and your Diego +Garcia!" + +Hearing this Dorothea said in a whisper to Cardenio, "Our landlord is +almost fit to play a second part to Don Quixote." + +"I think so," said Cardenio, "for, as he shows, he accepts it as a +certainty that everything those books relate took place exactly as it is +written down; and the barefooted friars themselves would not persuade him +to the contrary." + +"But consider, brother," said the curate once more, "there never was any +Felixmarte of Hircania in the world, nor any Cirongilio of Thrace, or any +of the other knights of the same sort, that the books of chivalry talk +of; the whole thing is the fabrication and invention of idle wits, +devised by them for the purpose you describe of beguiling the time, as +your reapers do when they read; for I swear to you in all seriousness +there never were any such knights in the world, and no such exploits or +nonsense ever happened anywhere." + +"Try that bone on another dog," said the landlord; "as if I did not know +how many make five, and where my shoe pinches me; don't think to feed me +with pap, for by God I am no fool. It is a good joke for your worship to +try and persuade me that everything these good books say is nonsense and +lies, and they printed by the license of the Lords of the Royal Council, +as if they were people who would allow such a lot of lies to be printed +all together, and so many battles and enchantments that they take away +one's senses." + +"I have told you, friend," said the curate, "that this is done to divert +our idle thoughts; and as in well-ordered states games of chess, fives, +and billiards are allowed for the diversion of those who do not care, or +are not obliged, or are unable to work, so books of this kind are allowed +to be printed, on the supposition that, what indeed is the truth, there +can be nobody so ignorant as to take any of them for true stories; and if +it were permitted me now, and the present company desired it, I could say +something about the qualities books of chivalry should possess to be good +ones, that would be to the advantage and even to the taste of some; but I +hope the time will come when I can communicate my ideas to some one who +may be able to mend matters; and in the meantime, senor landlord, believe +what I have said, and take your books, and make up your mind about their +truth or falsehood, and much good may they do you; and God grant you may +not fall lame of the same foot your guest Don Quixote halts on." + +"No fear of that," returned the landlord; "I shall not be so mad as to +make a knight-errant of myself; for I see well enough that things are not +now as they used to be in those days, when they say those famous knights +roamed about the world." + +Sancho had made his appearance in the middle of this conversation, and he +was very much troubled and cast down by what he heard said about +knights-errant being now no longer in vogue, and all books of chivalry +being folly and lies; and he resolved in his heart to wait and see what +came of this journey of his master's, and if it did not turn out as +happily as his master expected, he determined to leave him and go back to +his wife and children and his ordinary labour. + +The landlord was carrying away the valise and the books, but the curate +said to him, "Wait; I want to see what those papers are that are written +in such a good hand." The landlord taking them out handed them to him to +read, and he perceived they were a work of about eight sheets of +manuscript, with, in large letters at the beginning, the title of "Novel +of the Ill-advised Curiosity." The curate read three or four lines to +himself, and said, "I must say the title of this novel does not seem to +me a bad one, and I feel an inclination to read it all." To which the +landlord replied, "Then your reverence will do well to read it, for I can +tell you that some guests who have read it here have been much pleased +with it, and have begged it of me very earnestly; but I would not give +it, meaning to return it to the person who forgot the valise, books, and +papers here, for maybe he will return here some time or other; and though +I know I shall miss the books, faith I mean to return them; for though I +am an innkeeper, still I am a Christian." + +"You are very right, friend," said the curate; "but for all that, if the +novel pleases me you must let me copy it." + +"With all my heart," replied the host. + +While they were talking Cardenio had taken up the novel and begun to read +it, and forming the same opinion of it as the curate, he begged him to +read it so that they might all hear it. + +"I would read it," said the curate, "if the time would not be better +spent in sleeping." + +"It will be rest enough for me," said Dorothea, "to while away the time +by listening to some tale, for my spirits are not yet tranquil enough to +let me sleep when it would be seasonable." + +"Well then, in that case," said the curate, "I will read it, if it were +only out of curiosity; perhaps it may contain something pleasant." + +Master Nicholas added his entreaties to the same effect, and Sancho too; +seeing which, and considering that he would give pleasure to all, and +receive it himself, the curate said, "Well then, attend to me everyone, +for the novel begins thus." + +Chapter XXXIII. - +In which is related the novel of "the ill-advised curiosity" + +In Florence, a rich and famous city of Italy in the province called +Tuscany, there lived two gentlemen of wealth and quality, Anselmo and +Lothario, such great friends that by way of distinction they were called +by all that knew them "The Two Friends." They were unmarried, young, of +the same age and of the same tastes, which was enough to account for the +reciprocal friendship between them. Anselmo, it is true, was somewhat +more inclined to seek pleasure in love than Lothario, for whom the +pleasures of the chase had more attraction; but on occasion Anselmo would +forego his own tastes to yield to those of Lothario, and Lothario would +surrender his to fall in with those of Anselmo, and in this way their +inclinations kept pace one with the other with a concord so perfect that +the best regulated clock could not surpass it. + +Anselmo was deep in love with a high-born and beautiful maiden of the +same city, the daughter of parents so estimable, and so estimable +herself, that he resolved, with the approval of his friend Lothario, +without whom he did nothing, to ask her of them in marriage, and did so, +Lothario being the bearer of the demand, and conducting the negotiation +so much to the satisfaction of his friend that in a short time he was in +possession of the object of his desires, and Camilla so happy in having +won Anselmo for her husband, that she gave thanks unceasingly to heaven +and to Lothario, by whose means such good fortune had fallen to her. The +first few days, those of a wedding being usually days of merry-making, +Lothario frequented his friend Anselmo's house as he had been wont, +striving to do honour to him and to the occasion, and to gratify him in +every way he could; but when the wedding days were over and the +succession of visits and congratulations had slackened, he began +purposely to leave off going to the house of Anselmo, for it seemed to +him, as it naturally would to all men of sense, that friends' houses +ought not to be visited after marriage with the same frequency as in +their masters' bachelor days: because, though true and genuine friendship +cannot and should not be in any way suspicious, still a married man's +honour is a thing of such delicacy that it is held liable to injury from +brothers, much more from friends. Anselmo remarked the cessation of +Lothario's visits, and complained of it to him, saying that if he had +known that marriage was to keep him from enjoying his society as he used, +he would have never married; and that, if by the thorough harmony that +subsisted between them while he was a bachelor they had earned such a +sweet name as that of "The Two Friends," he should not allow a title so +rare and so delightful to be lost through a needless anxiety to act +circumspectly; and so he entreated him, if such a phrase was allowable +between them, to be once more master of his house and to come in and go +out as formerly, assuring him that his wife Camilla had no other desire +or inclination than that which he would wish her to have, and that +knowing how sincerely they loved one another she was grieved to see such +coldness in him. + +To all this and much more that Anselmo said to Lothario to persuade him +to come to his house as he had been in the habit of doing, Lothario +replied with so much prudence, sense, and judgment, that Anselmo was +satisfied of his friend's good intentions, and it was agreed that on two +days in the week, and on holidays, Lothario should come to dine with him; +but though this arrangement was made between them Lothario resolved to +observe it no further than he considered to be in accordance with the +honour of his friend, whose good name was more to him than his own. He +said, and justly, that a married man upon whom heaven had bestowed a +beautiful wife should consider as carefully what friends he brought to +his house as what female friends his wife associated with, for what +cannot be done or arranged in the market-place, in church, at public +festivals or at stations (opportunities that husbands cannot always deny +their wives), may be easily managed in the house of the female friend or +relative in whom most confidence is reposed. Lothario said, too, that +every married man should have some friend who would point out to him any +negligence he might be guilty of in his conduct, for it will sometimes +happen that owing to the deep affection the husband bears his wife either +he does not caution her, or, not to vex her, refrains from telling her to +do or not to do certain things, doing or avoiding which may be a matter +of honour or reproach to him; and errors of this kind he could easily +correct if warned by a friend. But where is such a friend to be found as +Lothario would have, so judicious, so loyal, and so true? + +Of a truth I know not; Lothario alone was such a one, for with the utmost +care and vigilance he watched over the honour of his friend, and strove +to diminish, cut down, and reduce the number of days for going to his +house according to their agreement, lest the visits of a young man, +wealthy, high-born, and with the attractions he was conscious of +possessing, at the house of a woman so beautiful as Camilla, should be +regarded with suspicion by the inquisitive and malicious eyes of the idle +public. For though his integrity and reputation might bridle slanderous +tongues, still he was unwilling to hazard either his own good name or +that of his friend; and for this reason most of the days agreed upon he +devoted to some other business which he pretended was unavoidable; so +that a great portion of the day was taken up with complaints on one side +and excuses on the other. It happened, however, that on one occasion when +the two were strolling together outside the city, Anselmo addressed the +following words to Lothario. + +"Thou mayest suppose, Lothario my friend, that I am unable to give +sufficient thanks for the favours God has rendered me in making me the +son of such parents as mine were, and bestowing upon me with no niggard +hand what are called the gifts of nature as well as those of fortune, and +above all for what he has done in giving me thee for a friend and Camilla +for a wife--two treasures that I value, if not as highly as I ought, at +least as highly as I am able. And yet, with all these good things, which +are commonly all that men need to enable them to live happily, I am the +most discontented and dissatisfied man in the whole world; for, I know +not how long since, I have been harassed and oppressed by a desire so +strange and so unusual, that I wonder at myself and blame and chide +myself when I am alone, and strive to stifle it and hide it from my own +thoughts, and with no better success than if I were endeavouring +deliberately to publish it to all the world; and as, in short, it must +come out, I would confide it to thy safe keeping, feeling sure that by +this means, and by thy readiness as a true friend to afford me relief, I +shall soon find myself freed from the distress it causes me, and that thy +care will give me happiness in the same degree as my own folly has caused +me misery." + +The words of Anselmo struck Lothario with astonishment, unable as he was +to conjecture the purport of such a lengthy preamble; and though be +strove to imagine what desire it could be that so troubled his friend, +his conjectures were all far from the truth, and to relieve the anxiety +which this perplexity was causing him, he told him he was doing a +flagrant injustice to their great friendship in seeking circuitous +methods of confiding to him his most hidden thoughts, for he well knew he +might reckon upon his counsel in diverting them, or his help in carrying +them into effect. + +"That is the truth," replied Anselmo, "and relying upon that I will tell +thee, friend Lothario, that the desire which harasses me is that of +knowing whether my wife Camilla is as good and as perfect as I think her +to be; and I cannot satisfy myself of the truth on this point except by +testing her in such a way that the trial may prove the purity of her +virtue as the fire proves that of gold; because I am persuaded, my +friend, that a woman is virtuous only in proportion as she is or is not +tempted; and that she alone is strong who does not yield to the promises, +gifts, tears, and importunities of earnest lovers; for what thanks does a +woman deserve for being good if no one urges her to be bad, and what +wonder is it that she is reserved and circumspect to whom no opportunity +is given of going wrong and who knows she has a husband that will take +her life the first time he detects her in an impropriety? I do not +therefore hold her who is virtuous through fear or want of opportunity in +the same estimation as her who comes out of temptation and trial with a +crown of victory; and so, for these reasons and many others that I could +give thee to justify and support the opinion I hold, I am desirous that +my wife Camilla should pass this crisis, and be refined and tested by the +fire of finding herself wooed and by one worthy to set his affections +upon her; and if she comes out, as I know she will, victorious from this +struggle, I shall look upon my good fortune as unequalled, I shall be +able to say that the cup of my desire is full, and that the virtuous +woman of whom the sage says 'Who shall find her?' has fallen to my lot. +And if the result be the contrary of what I expect, in the satisfaction +of knowing that I have been right in my opinion, I shall bear without +complaint the pain which my so dearly bought experience will naturally +cause me. And, as nothing of all thou wilt urge in opposition to my wish +will avail to keep me from carrying it into effect, it is my desire, +friend Lothario, that thou shouldst consent to become the instrument for +effecting this purpose that I am bent upon, for I will afford thee +opportunities to that end, and nothing shall be wanting that I may think +necessary for the pursuit of a virtuous, honourable, modest and +high-minded woman. And among other reasons, I am induced to entrust this +arduous task to thee by the consideration that if Camilla be conquered by +thee the conquest will not be pushed to extremes, but only far enough to +account that accomplished which from a sense of honour will be left +undone; thus I shall not be wronged in anything more than intention, and +my wrong will remain buried in the integrity of thy silence, which I know +well will be as lasting as that of death in what concerns me. If, +therefore, thou wouldst have me enjoy what can be called life, thou wilt +at once engage in this love struggle, not lukewarmly nor slothfully, but +with the energy and zeal that my desire demands, and with the loyalty our +friendship assures me of." + +Such were the words Anselmo addressed to Lothario, who listened to them +with such attention that, except to say what has been already mentioned, +he did not open his lips until the other had finished. Then perceiving +that he had no more to say, after regarding him for awhile, as one would +regard something never before seen that excited wonder and amazement, he +said to him, "I cannot persuade myself, Anselmo my friend, that what thou +hast said to me is not in jest; if I thought that thou wert speaking +seriously I would not have allowed thee to go so far; so as to put a stop +to thy long harangue by not listening to thee I verily suspect that +either thou dost not know me, or I do not know thee; but no, I know well +thou art Anselmo, and thou knowest that I am Lothario; the misfortune is, +it seems to me, that thou art not the Anselmo thou wert, and must have +thought that I am not the Lothario I should be; for the things that thou +hast said to me are not those of that Anselmo who was my friend, nor are +those that thou demandest of me what should be asked of the Lothario thou +knowest. True friends will prove their friends and make use of them, as a +poet has said, usque ad aras; whereby he meant that they will not make +use of their friendship in things that are contrary to God's will. If +this, then, was a heathen's feeling about friendship, how much more +should it be a Christian's, who knows that the divine must not be +forfeited for the sake of any human friendship? And if a friend should go +so far as to put aside his duty to Heaven to fulfil his duty to his +friend, it should not be in matters that are trifling or of little +moment, but in such as affect the friend's life and honour. Now tell me, +Anselmo, in which of these two art thou imperilled, that I should hazard +myself to gratify thee, and do a thing so detestable as that thou seekest +of me? Neither forsooth; on the contrary, thou dost ask of me, so far as +I understand, to strive and labour to rob thee of honour and life, and to +rob myself of them at the same time; for if I take away thy honour it is +plain I take away thy life, as a man without honour is worse than dead; +and being the instrument, as thou wilt have it so, of so much wrong to +thee, shall not I, too, be left without honour, and consequently without +life? Listen to me, Anselmo my friend, and be not impatient to answer me +until I have said what occurs to me touching the object of thy desire, +for there will be time enough left for thee to reply and for me to hear." + +"Be it so," said Anselmo, "say what thou wilt." + +Lothario then went on to say, "It seems to me, Anselmo, that thine is +just now the temper of mind which is always that of the Moors, who can +never be brought to see the error of their creed by quotations from the +Holy Scriptures, or by reasons which depend upon the examination of the +understanding or are founded upon the articles of faith, but must have +examples that are palpable, easy, intelligible, capable of proof, not +admitting of doubt, with mathematical demonstrations that cannot be +denied, like, 'If equals be taken from equals, the remainders are equal:' +and if they do not understand this in words, and indeed they do not, it +has to be shown to them with the hands, and put before their eyes, and +even with all this no one succeeds in convincing them of the truth of our +holy religion. This same mode of proceeding I shall have to adopt with +thee, for the desire which has sprung up in thee is so absurd and remote +from everything that has a semblance of reason, that I feel it would be a +waste of time to employ it in reasoning with thy simplicity, for at +present I will call it by no other name; and I am even tempted to leave +thee in thy folly as a punishment for thy pernicious desire; but the +friendship I bear thee, which will not allow me to desert thee in such +manifest danger of destruction, keeps me from dealing so harshly by thee. +And that thou mayest clearly see this, say, Anselmo, hast thou not told +me that I must force my suit upon a modest woman, decoy one that is +virtuous, make overtures to one that is pure-minded, pay court to one +that is prudent? Yes, thou hast told me so. Then, if thou knowest that +thou hast a wife, modest, virtuous, pure-minded and prudent, what is it +that thou seekest? And if thou believest that she will come forth +victorious from all my attacks--as doubtless she would--what higher +titles than those she possesses now dost thou think thou canst upon her +then, or in what will she be better then than she is now? Either thou +dost not hold her to be what thou sayest, or thou knowest not what thou +dost demand. If thou dost not hold her to be what thou why dost thou seek +to prove her instead of treating her as guilty in the way that may seem +best to thee? but if she be as virtuous as thou believest, it is an +uncalled-for proceeding to make trial of truth itself, for, after trial, +it will but be in the same estimation as before. Thus, then, it is +conclusive that to attempt things from which harm rather than advantage +may come to us is the part of unreasoning and reckless minds, more +especially when they are things which we are not forced or compelled to +attempt, and which show from afar that it is plainly madness to attempt +them. + +"Difficulties are attempted either for the sake of God or for the sake of +the world, or for both; those undertaken for God's sake are those which +the saints undertake when they attempt to live the lives of angels in +human bodies; those undertaken for the sake of the world are those of the +men who traverse such a vast expanse of water, such a variety of +climates, so many strange countries, to acquire what are called the +blessings of fortune; and those undertaken for the sake of God and the +world together are those of brave soldiers, who no sooner do they see in +the enemy's wall a breach as wide as a cannon ball could make, than, +casting aside all fear, without hesitating, or heeding the manifest peril +that threatens them, borne onward by the desire of defending their faith, +their country, and their king, they fling themselves dauntlessly into the +midst of the thousand opposing deaths that await them. Such are the +things that men are wont to attempt, and there is honour, glory, gain, in +attempting them, however full of difficulty and peril they may be; but +that which thou sayest it is thy wish to attempt and carry out will not +win thee the glory of God nor the blessings of fortune nor fame among +men; for even if the issue he as thou wouldst have it, thou wilt be no +happier, richer, or more honoured than thou art this moment; and if it be +otherwise thou wilt be reduced to misery greater than can be imagined, +for then it will avail thee nothing to reflect that no one is aware of +the misfortune that has befallen thee; it will suffice to torture and +crush thee that thou knowest it thyself. And in confirmation of the truth +of what I say, let me repeat to thee a stanza made by the famous poet +Luigi Tansillo at the end of the first part of his 'Tears of Saint +Peter,' which says thus: + +The anguish and the shame but greater grew In Peter's heart as morning +slowly came; No eye was there to see him, well he knew, Yet he himself +was to himself a shame; Exposed to all men's gaze, or screened from view, +A noble heart will feel the pang the same; A prey to shame the sinning +soul will be, Though none but heaven and earth its shame can see. + +Thus by keeping it secret thou wilt not escape thy sorrow, but rather +thou wilt shed tears unceasingly, if not tears of the eyes, tears of +blood from the heart, like those shed by that simple doctor our poet +tells us of, that tried the test of the cup, which the wise Rinaldo, +better advised, refused to do; for though this may be a poetic fiction it +contains a moral lesson worthy of attention and study and imitation. +Moreover by what I am about to say to thee thou wilt be led to see the +great error thou wouldst commit. + +"Tell me, Anselmo, if Heaven or good fortune had made thee master and +lawful owner of a diamond of the finest quality, with the excellence and +purity of which all the lapidaries that had seen it had been satisfied, +saying with one voice and common consent that in purity, quality, and +fineness, it was all that a stone of the kind could possibly be, thou +thyself too being of the same belief, as knowing nothing to the contrary, +would it be reasonable in thee to desire to take that diamond and place +it between an anvil and a hammer, and by mere force of blows and strength +of arm try if it were as hard and as fine as they said? And if thou +didst, and if the stone should resist so silly a test, that would add +nothing to its value or reputation; and if it were broken, as it might +be, would not all be lost? Undoubtedly it would, leaving its owner to be +rated as a fool in the opinion of all. Consider, then, Anselmo my friend, +that Camilla is a diamond of the finest quality as well in thy estimation +as in that of others, and that it is contrary to reason to expose her to +the risk of being broken; for if she remains intact she cannot rise to a +higher value than she now possesses; and if she give way and be unable to +resist, bethink thee now how thou wilt be deprived of her, and with what +good reason thou wilt complain of thyself for having been the cause of +her ruin and thine own. Remember there is no jewel in the world so +precious as a chaste and virtuous woman, and that the whole honour of +women consists in reputation; and since thy wife's is of that high +excellence that thou knowest, wherefore shouldst thou seek to call that +truth in question? Remember, my friend, that woman is an imperfect +animal, and that impediments are not to be placed in her way to make her +trip and fall, but that they should be removed, and her path left clear +of all obstacles, so that without hindrance she may run her course freely +to attain the desired perfection, which consists in being virtuous. +Naturalists tell us that the ermine is a little animal which has a fur of +purest white, and that when the hunters wish to take it, they make use of +this artifice. Having ascertained the places which it frequents and +passes, they stop the way to them with mud, and then rousing it, drive it +towards the spot, and as soon as the ermine comes to the mud it halts, +and allows itself to be taken captive rather than pass through the mire, +and spoil and sully its whiteness, which it values more than life and +liberty. The virtuous and chaste woman is an ermine, and whiter and purer +than snow is the virtue of modesty; and he who wishes her not to lose it, +but to keep and preserve it, must adopt a course different from that +employed with the ermine; he must not put before her the mire of the +gifts and attentions of persevering lovers, because perhaps--and even +without a perhaps--she may not have sufficient virtue and natural +strength in herself to pass through and tread under foot these +impediments; they must be removed, and the brightness of virtue and the +beauty of a fair fame must be put before her. A virtuous woman, too, is +like a mirror, of clear shining crystal, liable to be tarnished and +dimmed by every breath that touches it. She must be treated as relics +are; adored, not touched. She must be protected and prized as one +protects and prizes a fair garden full of roses and flowers, the owner of +which allows no one to trespass or pluck a blossom; enough for others +that from afar and through the iron grating they may enjoy its fragrance +and its beauty. Finally let me repeat to thee some verses that come to my +mind; I heard them in a modern comedy, and it seems to me they bear upon +the point we are discussing. A prudent old man was giving advice to +another, the father of a young girl, to lock her up, watch over her and +keep her in seclusion, and among other arguments he used these: + +poem{ + +Woman is a thing of glass; +But her brittleness 'tis best +Not too curiously to test: +Who knows what may come to pass? + +Breaking is an easy matter, +And it's folly to expose +What you cannot mend to blows; +What you can't make whole to shatter. + +This, then, all may hold as true, +And the reason's plain to see; +For if Danaes there be, +There are golden showers too. + +}poem + +"All that I have said to thee so far, Anselmo, has had reference to what +concerns thee; now it is right that I should say something of what +regards myself; and if I be prolix, pardon me, for the labyrinth into +which thou hast entered and from which thou wouldst have me extricate +thee makes it necessary. + +"Thou dost reckon me thy friend, and thou wouldst rob me of honour, a +thing wholly inconsistent with friendship; and not only dost thou aim at +this, but thou wouldst have me rob thee of it also. That thou wouldst rob +me of it is clear, for when Camilla sees that I pay court to her as thou +requirest, she will certainly regard me as a man without honour or right +feeling, since I attempt and do a thing so much opposed to what I owe to +my own position and thy friendship. That thou wouldst have me rob thee of +it is beyond a doubt, for Camilla, seeing that I press my suit upon her, +will suppose that I have perceived in her something light that has +encouraged me to make known to her my base desire; and if she holds +herself dishonoured, her dishonour touches thee as belonging to her; and +hence arises what so commonly takes place, that the husband of the +adulterous woman, though he may not be aware of or have given any cause +for his wife's failure in her duty, or (being careless or negligent) have +had it in his power to prevent his dishonour, nevertheless is stigmatised +by a vile and reproachful name, and in a manner regarded with eyes of +contempt instead of pity by all who know of his wife's guilt, though they +see that he is unfortunate not by his own fault, but by the lust of a +vicious consort. But I will tell thee why with good reason dishonour +attaches to the husband of the unchaste wife, though he know not that she +is so, nor be to blame, nor have done anything, or given any provocation +to make her so; and be not weary with listening to me, for it will be for +thy good. + +"When God created our first parent in the earthly paradise, the Holy +Scripture says that he infused sleep into Adam and while he slept took a +rib from his left side of which he formed our mother Eve, and when Adam +awoke and beheld her he said, 'This is flesh of my flesh, and bone of my +bone.' And God said 'For this shall a man leave his father and his +mother, and they shall be two in one flesh; and then was instituted the +divine sacrament of marriage, with such ties that death alone can loose +them. And such is the force and virtue of this miraculous sacrament that +it makes two different persons one and the same flesh; and even more than +this when the virtuous are married; for though they have two souls they +have but one will. And hence it follows that as the flesh of the wife is +one and the same with that of her husband the stains that may come upon +it, or the injuries it incurs fall upon the husband's flesh, though he, +as has been said, may have given no cause for them; for as the pain of +the foot or any member of the body is felt by the whole body, because all +is one flesh, as the head feels the hurt to the ankle without having +caused it, so the husband, being one with her, shares the dishonour of +the wife; and as all worldly honour or dishonour comes of flesh and +blood, and the erring wife's is of that kind, the husband must needs bear +his part of it and be held dishonoured without knowing it. See, then, +Anselmo, the peril thou art encountering in seeking to disturb the peace +of thy virtuous consort; see for what an empty and ill-advised curiosity +thou wouldst rouse up passions that now repose in quiet in the breast of +thy chaste wife; reflect that what thou art staking all to win is little, +and what thou wilt lose so much that I leave it undescribed, not having +the words to express it. But if all I have said be not enough to turn +thee from thy vile purpose, thou must seek some other instrument for thy +dishonour and misfortune; for such I will not consent to be, though I +lose thy friendship, the greatest loss that I can conceive." + +Having said this, the wise and virtuous Lothario was silent, and Anselmo, +troubled in mind and deep in thought, was unable for a while to utter a +word in reply; but at length he said, "I have listened, Lothario my +friend, attentively, as thou hast seen, to what thou hast chosen to say +to me, and in thy arguments, examples, and comparisons I have seen that +high intelligence thou dost possess, and the perfection of true +friendship thou hast reached; and likewise I see and confess that if I am +not guided by thy opinion, but follow my own, I am flying from the good +and pursuing the evil. This being so, thou must remember that I am now +labouring under that infirmity which women sometimes suffer from, when +the craving seizes them to eat clay, plaster, charcoal, and things even +worse, disgusting to look at, much more to eat; so that it will be +necessary to have recourse to some artifice to cure me; and this can be +easily effected if only thou wilt make a beginning, even though it be in +a lukewarm and make-believe fashion, to pay court to Camilla, who will +not be so yielding that her virtue will give way at the first attack: +with this mere attempt I shall rest satisfied, and thou wilt have done +what our friendship binds thee to do, not only in giving me life, but in +persuading me not to discard my honour. And this thou art bound to do for +one reason alone, that, being, as I am, resolved to apply this test, it +is not for thee to permit me to reveal my weakness to another, and so +imperil that honour thou art striving to keep me from losing; and if +thine may not stand as high as it ought in the estimation of Camilla +while thou art paying court to her, that is of little or no importance, +because ere long, on finding in her that constancy which we expect, thou +canst tell her the plain truth as regards our stratagem, and so regain +thy place in her esteem; and as thou art venturing so little, and by the +venture canst afford me so much satisfaction, refuse not to undertake it, +even if further difficulties present themselves to thee; for, as I have +said, if thou wilt only make a beginning I will acknowledge the issue +decided." + +Lothario seeing the fixed determination of Anselmo, and not knowing what +further examples to offer or arguments to urge in order to dissuade him +from it, and perceiving that he threatened to confide his pernicious +scheme to some one else, to avoid a greater evil resolved to gratify him +and do what he asked, intending to manage the business so as to satisfy +Anselmo without corrupting the mind of Camilla; so in reply he told him +not to communicate his purpose to any other, for he would undertake the +task himself, and would begin it as soon as he pleased. Anselmo embraced +him warmly and affectionately, and thanked him for his offer as if he had +bestowed some great favour upon him; and it was agreed between them to +set about it the next day, Anselmo affording opportunity and time to +Lothario to converse alone with Camilla, and furnishing him with money +and jewels to offer and present to her. He suggested, too, that he should +treat her to music, and write verses in her praise, and if he was +unwilling to take the trouble of composing them, he offered to do it +himself. Lothario agreed to all with an intention very different from +what Anselmo supposed, and with this understanding they returned to +Anselmo's house, where they found Camilla awaiting her husband anxiously +and uneasily, for he was later than usual in returning that day. Lothario +repaired to his own house, and Anselmo remained in his, as well satisfied +as Lothario was troubled in mind; for he could see no satisfactory way +out of this ill-advised business. That night, however, he thought of a +plan by which he might deceive Anselmo without any injury to Camilla. The +next day he went to dine with his friend, and was welcomed by Camilla, +who received and treated him with great cordiality, knowing the affection +her husband felt for him. When dinner was over and the cloth removed, +Anselmo told Lothario to stay there with Camilla while he attended to +some pressing business, as he would return in an hour and a half. Camilla +begged him not to go, and Lothario offered to accompany him, but nothing +could persuade Anselmo, who on the contrary pressed Lothario to remain +waiting for him as he had a matter of great importance to discuss with +him. At the same time he bade Camilla not to leave Lothario alone until +he came back. In short he contrived to put so good a face on the reason, +or the folly, of his absence that no one could have suspected it was a +pretence. + +Anselmo took his departure, and Camilla and Lothario were left alone at +the table, for the rest of the household had gone to dinner. Lothario saw +himself in the lists according to his friend's wish, and facing an enemy +that could by her beauty alone vanquish a squadron of armed knights; +judge whether he had good reason to fear; but what he did was to lean his +elbow on the arm of the chair, and his cheek upon his hand, and, asking +Camilla's pardon for his ill manners, he said he wished to take a little +sleep until Anselmo returned. Camilla in reply said he could repose more +at his ease in the reception-room than in his chair, and begged of him to +go in and sleep there; but Lothario declined, and there he remained +asleep until the return of Anselmo, who finding Camilla in her own room, +and Lothario asleep, imagined that he had stayed away so long as to have +afforded them time enough for conversation and even for sleep, and was +all impatience until Lothario should wake up, that he might go out with +him and question him as to his success. Everything fell out as he wished; +Lothario awoke, and the two at once left the house, and Anselmo asked +what he was anxious to know, and Lothario in answer told him that he had +not thought it advisable to declare himself entirely the first time, and +therefore had only extolled the charms of Camilla, telling her that all +the city spoke of nothing else but her beauty and wit, for this seemed to +him an excellent way of beginning to gain her good-will and render her +disposed to listen to him with pleasure the next time, thus availing +himself of the device the devil has recourse to when he would deceive one +who is on the watch; for he being the angel of darkness transforms +himself into an angel of light, and, under cover of a fair seeming, +discloses himself at length, and effects his purpose if at the beginning +his wiles are not discovered. All this gave great satisfaction to +Anselmo, and he said he would afford the same opportunity every day, but +without leaving the house, for he would find things to do at home so that +Camilla should not detect the plot. + +Thus, then, several days went by, and Lothario, without uttering a word +to Camilla, reported to Anselmo that he had talked with her and that he +had never been able to draw from her the slightest indication of consent +to anything dishonourable, nor even a sign or shadow of hope; on the +contrary, he said she would inform her husband of it. + +"So far well," said Anselmo; "Camilla has thus far resisted words; we +must now see how she will resist deeds. I will give you to-morrow two +thousand crowns in gold for you to offer or even present, and as many +more to buy jewels to lure her, for women are fond of being becomingly +attired and going gaily dressed, and all the more so if they are +beautiful, however chaste they may be; and if she resists this +temptation, I will rest satisfied and will give you no more trouble." + +Lothario replied that now he had begun he would carry on the undertaking +to the end, though he perceived he was to come out of it wearied and +vanquished. The next day he received the four thousand crowns, and with +them four thousand perplexities, for he knew not what to say by way of a +new falsehood; but in the end he made up his mind to tell him that +Camilla stood as firm against gifts and promises as against words, and +that there was no use in taking any further trouble, for the time was all +spent to no purpose. + +But chance, directing things in a different manner, so ordered it that +Anselmo, having left Lothario and Camilla alone as on other occasions, +shut himself into a chamber and posted himself to watch and listen +through the keyhole to what passed between them, and perceived that for +more than half an hour Lothario did not utter a word to Camilla, nor +would utter a word though he were to be there for an age; and he came to +the conclusion that what his friend had told him about the replies of +Camilla was all invention and falsehood, and to ascertain if it were so, +he came out, and calling Lothario aside asked him what news he had and in +what humour Camilla was. Lothario replied that he was not disposed to go +on with the business, for she had answered him so angrily and harshly +that he had no heart to say anything more to her. + +"Ah, Lothario, Lothario," said Anselmo, "how ill dost thou meet thy +obligations to me, and the great confidence I repose in thee! I have been +just now watching through this keyhole, and I have seen that thou has not +said a word to Camilla, whence I conclude that on the former occasions +thou hast not spoken to her either, and if this be so, as no doubt it is, +why dost thou deceive me, or wherefore seekest thou by craft to deprive +me of the means I might find of attaining my desire?" + +Anselmo said no more, but he had said enough to cover Lothario with shame +and confusion, and he, feeling as it were his honour touched by having +been detected in a lie, swore to Anselmo that he would from that moment +devote himself to satisfying him without any deception, as he would see +if he had the curiosity to watch; though he need not take the trouble, +for the pains he would take to satisfy him would remove all suspicions +from his mind. Anselmo believed him, and to afford him an opportunity +more free and less liable to surprise, he resolved to absent himself from +his house for eight days, betaking himself to that of a friend of his who +lived in a village not far from the city; and, the better to account for +his departure to Camilla, he so arranged it that the friend should send +him a very pressing invitation. + +Unhappy, shortsighted Anselmo, what art thou doing, what art thou +plotting, what art thou devising? Bethink thee thou art working against +thyself, plotting thine own dishonour, devising thine own ruin. Thy wife +Camilla is virtuous, thou dost possess her in peace and quietness, no one +assails thy happiness, her thoughts wander not beyond the walls of thy +house, thou art her heaven on earth, the object of her wishes, the +fulfilment of her desires, the measure wherewith she measures her will, +making it conform in all things to thine and Heaven's. If, then, the mine +of her honour, beauty, virtue, and modesty yields thee without labour all +the wealth it contains and thou canst wish for, why wilt thou dig the +earth in search of fresh veins, of new unknown treasure, risking the +collapse of all, since it but rests on the feeble props of her weak +nature? Bethink thee that from him who seeks impossibilities that which +is possible may with justice be withheld, as was better expressed by a +poet who said: + +poem{ + +'Tis mine to seek for life in death, +Health in disease seek I, +I seek in prison freedom's breath, +In traitors loyalty. +So Fate that ever scorns to grant +Or grace or boon to me, +Since what can never be I want, +Denies me what might be. + +}poem + +The next day Anselmo took his departure for the village, leaving +instructions with Camilla that during his absence Lothario would come to +look after his house and to dine with her, and that she was to treat him +as she would himself. Camilla was distressed, as a discreet and +right-minded woman would be, at the orders her husband left her, and bade +him remember that it was not becoming that anyone should occupy his seat +at the table during his absence, and if he acted thus from not feeling +confidence that she would be able to manage his house, let him try her +this time, and he would find by experience that she was equal to greater +responsibilities. Anselmo replied that it was his pleasure to have it so, +and that she had only to submit and obey. Camilla said she would do so, +though against her will. + +Anselmo went, and the next day Lothario came to his house, where he was +received by Camilla with a friendly and modest welcome; but she never +suffered Lothario to see her alone, for she was always attended by her +men and women servants, especially by a handmaid of hers, Leonela by +name, to whom she was much attached (for they had been brought up +together from childhood in her father's house), and whom she had kept +with her after her marriage with Anselmo. The first three days Lothario +did not speak to her, though he might have done so when they removed the +cloth and the servants retired to dine hastily; for such were Camilla's +orders; nay more, Leonela had directions to dine earlier than Camilla and +never to leave her side. She, however, having her thoughts fixed upon +other things more to her taste, and wanting that time and opportunity for +her own pleasures, did not always obey her mistress's commands, but on +the contrary left them alone, as if they had ordered her to do so; but +the modest bearing of Camilla, the calmness of her countenance, the +composure of her aspect were enough to bridle the tongue of Lothario. But +the influence which the many virtues of Camilla exerted in imposing +silence on Lothario's tongue proved mischievous for both of them, for if +his tongue was silent his thoughts were busy, and could dwell at leisure +upon the perfections of Camilla's goodness and beauty one by one, charms +enough to warm with love a marble statue, not to say a heart of flesh. +Lothario gazed upon her when he might have been speaking to her, and +thought how worthy of being loved she was; and thus reflection began +little by little to assail his allegiance to Anselmo, and a thousand +times he thought of withdrawing from the city and going where Anselmo +should never see him nor he see Camilla. But already the delight he found +in gazing on her interposed and held him fast. He put a constraint upon +himself, and struggled to repel and repress the pleasure he found in +contemplating Camilla; when alone he blamed himself for his weakness, +called himself a bad friend, nay a bad Christian; then he argued the +matter and compared himself with Anselmo; always coming to the conclusion +that the folly and rashness of Anselmo had been worse than his +faithlessness, and that if he could excuse his intentions as easily +before God as with man, he had no reason to fear any punishment for his +offence. + +In short the beauty and goodness of Camilla, joined with the opportunity +which the blind husband had placed in his hands, overthrew the loyalty of +Lothario; and giving heed to nothing save the object towards which his +inclinations led him, after Anselmo had been three days absent, during +which he had been carrying on a continual struggle with his passion, he +began to make love to Camilla with so much vehemence and warmth of +language that she was overwhelmed with amazement, and could only rise +from her place and retire to her room without answering him a word. But +the hope which always springs up with love was not weakened in Lothario +by this repelling demeanour; on the contrary his passion for Camilla +increased, and she discovering in him what she had never expected, knew +not what to do; and considering it neither safe nor right to give him the +chance or opportunity of speaking to her again, she resolved to send, as +she did that very night, one of her servants with a letter to Anselmo, in +which she addressed the following words to him. + +Chapter XXXIV. - +In which is continued the novel of "the ill-advised curiosity" + +"It is commonly said that an army looks ill without its general and a +castle without its castellan, and I say that a young married woman looks +still worse without her husband unless there are very good reasons for +it. I find myself so ill at ease without you, and so incapable of +enduring this separation, that unless you return quickly I shall have to +go for relief to my parents' house, even if I leave yours without a +protector; for the one you left me, if indeed he deserved that title, +has, I think, more regard to his own pleasure than to what concerns you: +as you are possessed of discernment I need say no more to you, nor indeed +is it fitting I should say more." + +Anselmo received this letter, and from it he gathered that Lothario had +already begun his task and that Camilla must have replied to him as he +would have wished; and delighted beyond measure at such intelligence he +sent word to her not to leave his house on any account, as he would very +shortly return. Camilla was astonished at Anselmo's reply, which placed +her in greater perplexity than before, for she neither dared to remain in +her own house, nor yet to go to her parents'; for in remaining her virtue +was imperilled, and in going she was opposing her husband's commands. +Finally she decided upon what was the worse course for her, to remain, +resolving not to fly from the presence of Lothario, that she might not +give food for gossip to her servants; and she now began to regret having +written as she had to her husband, fearing he might imagine that Lothario +had perceived in her some lightness which had impelled him to lay aside +the respect he owed her; but confident of her rectitude she put her trust +in God and in her own virtuous intentions, with which she hoped to resist +in silence all the solicitations of Lothario, without saying anything to +her husband so as not to involve him in any quarrel or trouble; and she +even began to consider how to excuse Lothario to Anselmo when he should +ask her what it was that induced her to write that letter. With these +resolutions, more honourable than judicious or effectual, she remained +the next day listening to Lothario, who pressed his suit so strenuously +that Camilla's firmness began to waver, and her virtue had enough to do +to come to the rescue of her eyes and keep them from showing signs of a +certain tender compassion which the tears and appeals of Lothario had +awakened in her bosom. Lothario observed all this, and it inflamed him +all the more. In short he felt that while Anselmo's absence afforded time +and opportunity he must press the siege of the fortress, and so he +assailed her self-esteem with praises of her beauty, for there is nothing +that more quickly reduces and levels the castle towers of fair women's +vanity than vanity itself upon the tongue of flattery. In fact with the +utmost assiduity he undermined the rock of her purity with such engines +that had Camilla been of brass she must have fallen. He wept, he +entreated, he promised, he flattered, he importuned, he pretended with so +much feeling and apparent sincerity, that he overthrew the virtuous +resolves of Camilla and won the triumph he least expected and most longed +for. Camilla yielded, Camilla fell; but what wonder if the friendship of +Lothario could not stand firm? A clear proof to us that the passion of +love is to be conquered only by flying from it, and that no one should +engage in a struggle with an enemy so mighty; for divine strength is +needed to overcome his human power. Leonela alone knew of her mistress's +weakness, for the two false friends and new lovers were unable to conceal +it. Lothario did not care to tell Camilla the object Anselmo had in view, +nor that he had afforded him the opportunity of attaining such a result, +lest she should undervalue his love and think that it was by chance and +without intending it and not of his own accord that he had made love to +her. + +A few days later Anselmo returned to his house and did not perceive what +it had lost, that which he so lightly treated and so highly prized. He +went at once to see Lothario, and found him at home; they embraced each +other, and Anselmo asked for the tidings of his life or his death. + +"The tidings I have to give thee, Anselmo my friend," said Lothario, "are +that thou dost possess a wife that is worthy to be the pattern and crown +of all good wives. The words that I have addressed to her were borne away +on the wind, my promises have been despised, my presents have been +refused, such feigned tears as I shed have been turned into open +ridicule. In short, as Camilla is the essence of all beauty, so is she +the treasure-house where purity dwells, and gentleness and modesty abide +with all the virtues that can confer praise, honour, and happiness upon a +woman. Take back thy money, my friend; here it is, and I have had no need +to touch it, for the chastity of Camilla yields not to things so base as +gifts or promises. Be content, Anselmo, and refrain from making further +proof; and as thou hast passed dryshod through the sea of those doubts +and suspicions that are and may be entertained of women, seek not to +plunge again into the deep ocean of new embarrassments, or with another +pilot make trial of the goodness and strength of the bark that Heaven has +granted thee for thy passage across the sea of this world; but reckon +thyself now safe in port, moor thyself with the anchor of sound +reflection, and rest in peace until thou art called upon to pay that debt +which no nobility on earth can escape paying." + +Anselmo was completely satisfied by the words of Lothario, and believed +them as fully as if they had been spoken by an oracle; nevertheless he +begged of him not to relinquish the undertaking, were it but for the sake +of curiosity and amusement; though thenceforward he need not make use of +the same earnest endeavours as before; all he wished him to do was to +write some verses to her, praising her under the name of Chloris, for he +himself would give her to understand that he was in love with a lady to +whom he had given that name to enable him to sing her praises with the +decorum due to her modesty; and if Lothario were unwilling to take the +trouble of writing the verses he would compose them himself. + +"That will not be necessary," said Lothario, "for the muses are not such +enemies of mine but that they visit me now and then in the course of the +year. Do thou tell Camilla what thou hast proposed about a pretended +amour of mine; as for the verses will make them, and if not as good as +the subject deserves, they shall be at least the best I can produce." An +agreement to this effect was made between the friends, the ill-advised +one and the treacherous, and Anselmo returning to his house asked Camilla +the question she already wondered he had not asked before--what it was +that had caused her to write the letter she had sent him. Camilla replied +that it had seemed to her that Lothario looked at her somewhat more +freely than when he had been at home; but that now she was undeceived and +believed it to have been only her own imagination, for Lothario now +avoided seeing her, or being alone with her. Anselmo told her she might +be quite easy on the score of that suspicion, for he knew that Lothario +was in love with a damsel of rank in the city whom he celebrated under +the name of Chloris, and that even if he were not, his fidelity and their +great friendship left no room for fear. Had not Camilla, however, been +informed beforehand by Lothario that this love for Chloris was a +pretence, and that he himself had told Anselmo of it in order to be able +sometimes to give utterance to the praises of Camilla herself, no doubt +she would have fallen into the despairing toils of jealousy; but being +forewarned she received the startling news without uneasiness. + +The next day as the three were at table Anselmo asked Lothario to recite +something of what he had composed for his mistress Chloris; for as +Camilla did not know her, he might safely say what he liked. + +"Even did she know her," returned Lothario, "I would hide nothing, for +when a lover praises his lady's beauty, and charges her with cruelty, he +casts no imputation upon her fair name; at any rate, all I can say is +that yesterday I made a sonnet on the ingratitude of this Chloris, which +goes thus: + +poem{ + +SONNET + +At midnight, in the silence, when the eyes + Of happier mortals balmy slumbers close, + The weary tale of my unnumbered woes +To Chloris and to Heaven is wont to rise. +And when the light of day returning dyes + The portals of the east with tints of rose, + With undiminished force my sorrow flows +In broken accents and in burning sighs. +And when the sun ascends his star-girt throne, + And on the earth pours down his midday beams, + Noon but renews my wailing and my tears; +And with the night again goes up my moan. + Yet ever in my agony it seems + To me that neither Heaven nor Chloris hears." + +}poem + +The sonnet pleased Camilla, and still more Anselmo, for he praised it and +said the lady was excessively cruel who made no return for sincerity so +manifest. On which Camilla said, "Then all that love-smitten poets say is +true?" + +"As poets they do not tell the truth," replied Lothario; "but as lovers +they are not more defective in expression than they are truthful." + +"There is no doubt of that," observed Anselmo, anxious to support and +uphold Lothario's ideas with Camilla, who was as regardless of his design +as she was deep in love with Lothario; and so taking delight in anything +that was his, and knowing that his thoughts and writings had her for +their object, and that she herself was the real Chloris, she asked him to +repeat some other sonnet or verses if he recollected any. + +"I do," replied Lothario, "but I do not think it as good as the first +one, or, more correctly speaking, less bad; but you can easily judge, for +it is this. + +poem{ + +SONNET + +I know that I am doomed; death is to me + As certain as that thou, ungrateful fair, + Dead at thy feet shouldst see me lying, ere +My heart repented of its love for thee. +If buried in oblivion I should be, + Bereft of life, fame, favour, even there + It would be found that I thy image bear +Deep graven in my breast for all to see. +This like some holy relic do I prize + To save me from the fate my truth entails, + Truth that to thy hard heart its vigour owes. +Alas for him that under lowering skies, + In peril o'er a trackless ocean sails, + Where neither friendly port nor pole-star shows." + +}poem + +Anselmo praised this second sonnet too, as he had praised the first; and +so he went on adding link after link to the chain with which he was +binding himself and making his dishonour secure; for when Lothario was +doing most to dishonour him he told him he was most honoured; and thus +each step that Camilla descended towards the depths of her abasement, she +mounted, in his opinion, towards the summit of virtue and fair fame. + +It so happened that finding herself on one occasion alone with her maid, +Camilla said to her, "I am ashamed to think, my dear Leonela, how lightly +I have valued myself that I did not compel Lothario to purchase by at +least some expenditure of time that full possession of me that I so +quickly yielded him of my own free will. I fear that he will think ill of +my pliancy or lightness, not considering the irresistible influence he +brought to bear upon me." + +"Let not that trouble you, my lady," said Leonela, "for it does not take +away the value of the thing given or make it the less precious to give it +quickly if it be really valuable and worthy of being prized; nay, they +are wont to say that he who gives quickly gives twice." + +"They say also," said Camilla, "that what costs little is valued less." + +"That saying does not hold good in your case," replied Leonela, "for +love, as I have heard say, sometimes flies and sometimes walks; with this +one it runs, with that it moves slowly; some it cools, others it burns; +some it wounds, others it slays; it begins the course of its desires, and +at the same moment completes and ends it; in the morning it will lay +siege to a fortress and by night will have taken it, for there is no +power that can resist it; so what are you in dread of, what do you fear, +when the same must have befallen Lothario, love having chosen the absence +of my lord as the instrument for subduing you? and it was absolutely +necessary to complete then what love had resolved upon, without affording +the time to let Anselmo return and by his presence compel the work to be +left unfinished; for love has no better agent for carrying out his +designs than opportunity; and of opportunity he avails himself in all his +feats, especially at the outset. All this I know well myself, more by +experience than by hearsay, and some day, senora, I will enlighten you on +the subject, for I am of your flesh and blood too. Moreover, lady +Camilla, you did not surrender yourself or yield so quickly but that +first you saw Lothario's whole soul in his eyes, in his sighs, in his +words, his promises and his gifts, and by it and his good qualities +perceived how worthy he was of your love. This, then, being the case, let +not these scrupulous and prudish ideas trouble your imagination, but be +assured that Lothario prizes you as you do him, and rest content and +satisfied that as you are caught in the noose of love it is one of worth +and merit that has taken you, and one that has not only the four S's that +they say true lovers ought to have, but a complete alphabet; only listen +to me and you will see how I can repeat it by rote. He is to my eyes and +thinking, Amiable, Brave, Courteous, Distinguished, Elegant, Fond, Gay, +Honourable, Illustrious, Loyal, Manly, Noble, Open, Polite, Quickwitted, +Rich, and the S's according to the saying, and then Tender, Veracious: X +does not suit him, for it is a rough letter; Y has been given already; +and Z Zealous for your honour." + +Camilla laughed at her maid's alphabet, and perceived her to be more +experienced in love affairs than she said, which she admitted, confessing +to Camilla that she had love passages with a young man of good birth of +the same city. Camilla was uneasy at this, dreading lest it might prove +the means of endangering her honour, and asked whether her intrigue had +gone beyond words, and she with little shame and much effrontery said it +had; for certain it is that ladies' imprudences make servants shameless, +who, when they see their mistresses make a false step, think nothing of +going astray themselves, or of its being known. All that Camilla could do +was to entreat Leonela to say nothing about her doings to him whom she +called her lover, and to conduct her own affairs secretly lest they +should come to the knowledge of Anselmo or of Lothario. Leonela said she +would, but kept her word in such a way that she confirmed Camilla's +apprehension of losing her reputation through her means; for this +abandoned and bold Leonela, as soon as she perceived that her mistress's +demeanour was not what it was wont to be, had the audacity to introduce +her lover into the house, confident that even if her mistress saw him she +would not dare to expose him; for the sins of mistresses entail this +mischief among others; they make themselves the slaves of their own +servants, and are obliged to hide their laxities and depravities; as was +the case with Camilla, who though she perceived, not once but many times, +that Leonela was with her lover in some room of the house, not only did +not dare to chide her, but afforded her opportunities for concealing him +and removed all difficulties, lest he should be seen by her husband. She +was unable, however, to prevent him from being seen on one occasion, as +he sallied forth at daybreak, by Lothario, who, not knowing who he was, +at first took him for a spectre; but, as soon as he saw him hasten away, +muffling his face with his cloak and concealing himself carefully and +cautiously, he rejected this foolish idea, and adopted another, which +would have been the ruin of all had not Camilla found a remedy. It did +not occur to Lothario that this man he had seen issuing at such an +untimely hour from Anselmo's house could have entered it on Leonela's +account, nor did he even remember there was such a person as Leonela; all +he thought was that as Camilla had been light and yielding with him, so +she had been with another; for this further penalty the erring woman's +sin brings with it, that her honour is distrusted even by him to whose +overtures and persuasions she has yielded; and he believes her to have +surrendered more easily to others, and gives implicit credence to every +suspicion that comes into his mind. All Lothario's good sense seems to +have failed him at this juncture; all his prudent maxims escaped his +memory; for without once reflecting rationally, and without more ado, in +his impatience and in the blindness of the jealous rage that gnawed his +heart, and dying to revenge himself upon Camilla, who had done him no +wrong, before Anselmo had risen he hastened to him and said to him, +"Know, Anselmo, that for several days past I have been struggling with +myself, striving to withhold from thee what it is no longer possible or +right that I should conceal from thee. Know that Camilla's fortress has +surrendered and is ready to submit to my will; and if I have been slow to +reveal this fact to thee, it was in order to see if it were some light +caprice of hers, or if she sought to try me and ascertain if the love I +began to make to her with thy permission was made with a serious +intention. I thought, too, that she, if she were what she ought to be, +and what we both believed her, would have ere this given thee information +of my addresses; but seeing that she delays, I believe the truth of the +promise she has given me that the next time thou art absent from the +house she will grant me an interview in the closet where thy jewels are +kept (and it was true that Camilla used to meet him there); but I do not +wish thee to rush precipitately to take vengeance, for the sin is as yet +only committed in intention, and Camilla's may change perhaps between +this and the appointed time, and repentance spring up in its place. As +hitherto thou hast always followed my advice wholly or in part, follow +and observe this that I will give thee now, so that, without mistake, and +with mature deliberation, thou mayest satisfy thyself as to what may seem +the best course; pretend to absent thyself for two or three days as thou +hast been wont to do on other occasions, and contrive to hide thyself in +the closet; for the tapestries and other things there afford great +facilities for thy concealment, and then thou wilt see with thine own +eyes and I with mine what Camilla's purpose may be. And if it be a guilty +one, which may be feared rather than expected, with silence, prudence, +and discretion thou canst thyself become the instrument of punishment for +the wrong done thee." + +Anselmo was amazed, overwhelmed, and astounded at the words of Lothario, +which came upon him at a time when he least expected to hear them, for he +now looked upon Camilla as having triumphed over the pretended attacks of +Lothario, and was beginning to enjoy the glory of her victory. He +remained silent for a considerable time, looking on the ground with fixed +gaze, and at length said, "Thou hast behaved, Lothario, as I expected of +thy friendship: I will follow thy advice in everything; do as thou wilt, +and keep this secret as thou seest it should be kept in circumstances so +unlooked for." + +Lothario gave him his word, but after leaving him he repented altogether +of what he had said to him, perceiving how foolishly he had acted, as he +might have revenged himself upon Camilla in some less cruel and degrading +way. He cursed his want of sense, condemned his hasty resolution, and +knew not what course to take to undo the mischief or find some ready +escape from it. At last he decided upon revealing all to Camilla, and, as +there was no want of opportunity for doing so, he found her alone the +same day; but she, as soon as she had the chance of speaking to him, +said, "Lothario my friend, I must tell thee I have a sorrow in my heart +which fills it so that it seems ready to burst; and it will be a wonder +if it does not; for the audacity of Leonela has now reached such a pitch +that every night she conceals a gallant of hers in this house and remains +with him till morning, at the expense of my reputation; inasmuch as it is +open to anyone to question it who may see him quitting my house at such +unseasonable hours; but what distresses me is that I cannot punish or +chide her, for her privity to our intrigue bridles my mouth and keeps me +silent about hers, while I am dreading that some catastrophe will come of +it." + +As Camilla said this Lothario at first imagined it was some device to +delude him into the idea that the man he had seen going out was Leonela's +lover and not hers; but when he saw how she wept and suffered, and begged +him to help her, he became convinced of the truth, and the conviction +completed his confusion and remorse; however, he told Camilla not to +distress herself, as he would take measures to put a stop to the +insolence of Leonela. At the same time he told her what, driven by the +fierce rage of jealousy, he had said to Anselmo, and how he had arranged +to hide himself in the closet that he might there see plainly how little +she preserved her fidelity to him; and he entreated her pardon for this +madness, and her advice as to how to repair it, and escape safely from +the intricate labyrinth in which his imprudence had involved him. Camilla +was struck with alarm at hearing what Lothario said, and with much anger, +and great good sense, she reproved him and rebuked his base design and +the foolish and mischievous resolution he had made; but as woman has by +nature a nimbler wit than man for good and for evil, though it is apt to +fail when she sets herself deliberately to reason, Camilla on the spur of +the moment thought of a way to remedy what was to all appearance +irremediable, and told Lothario to contrive that the next day Anselmo +should conceal himself in the place he mentioned, for she hoped from his +concealment to obtain the means of their enjoying themselves for the +future without any apprehension; and without revealing her purpose to him +entirely she charged him to be careful, as soon as Anselmo was concealed, +to come to her when Leonela should call him, and to all she said to him +to answer as he would have answered had he not known that Anselmo was +listening. Lothario pressed her to explain her intention fully, so that +he might with more certainty and precaution take care to do what he saw +to be needful. + +"I tell you," said Camilla, "there is nothing to take care of except to +answer me what I shall ask you;" for she did not wish to explain to him +beforehand what she meant to do, fearing lest he should be unwilling to +follow out an idea which seemed to her such a good one, and should try or +devise some other less practicable plan. + +Lothario then retired, and the next day Anselmo, under pretence of going +to his friend's country house, took his departure, and then returned to +conceal himself, which he was able to do easily, as Camilla and Leonela +took care to give him the opportunity; and so he placed himself in hiding +in the state of agitation that it may be imagined he would feel who +expected to see the vitals of his honour laid bare before his eyes, and +found himself on the point of losing the supreme blessing he thought he +possessed in his beloved Camilla. Having made sure of Anselmo's being in +his hiding-place, Camilla and Leonela entered the closet, and the instant +she set foot within it Camilla said, with a deep sigh, "Ah! dear Leonela, +would it not be better, before I do what I am unwilling you should know +lest you should seek to prevent it, that you should take Anselmo's dagger +that I have asked of you and with it pierce this vile heart of mine? But +no; there is no reason why I should suffer the punishment of another's +fault. I will first know what it is that the bold licentious eyes of +Lothario have seen in me that could have encouraged him to reveal to me a +design so base as that which he has disclosed regardless of his friend +and of my honour. Go to the window, Leonela, and call him, for no doubt +he is in the street waiting to carry out his vile project; but mine, +cruel it may be, but honourable, shall be carried out first." + +"Ah, senora," said the crafty Leonela, who knew her part, "what is it you +want to do with this dagger? Can it be that you mean to take your own +life, or Lothario's? for whichever you mean to do, it will lead to the +loss of your reputation and good name. It is better to dissemble your +wrong and not give this wicked man the chance of entering the house now +and finding us alone; consider, senora, we are weak women and he is a +man, and determined, and as he comes with such a base purpose, blind and +urged by passion, perhaps before you can put yours into execution he may +do what will be worse for you than taking your life. Ill betide my +master, Anselmo, for giving such authority in his house to this shameless +fellow! And supposing you kill him, senora, as I suspect you mean to do, +what shall we do with him when he is dead?" + +"What, my friend?" replied Camilla, "we shall leave him for Anselmo to +bury him; for in reason it will be to him a light labour to hide his own +infamy under ground. Summon him, make haste, for all the time I delay in +taking vengeance for my wrong seems to me an offence against the loyalty +I owe my husband." + +Anselmo was listening to all this, and every word that Camilla uttered +made him change his mind; but when he heard that it was resolved to kill +Lothario his first impulse was to come out and show himself to avert such +a disaster; but in his anxiety to see the issue of a resolution so bold +and virtuous he restrained himself, intending to come forth in time to +prevent the deed. At this moment Camilla, throwing herself upon a bed +that was close by, swooned away, and Leonela began to weep bitterly, +exclaiming, "Woe is me! that I should be fated to have dying here in my +arms the flower of virtue upon earth, the crown of true wives, the +pattern of chastity!" with more to the same effect, so that anyone who +heard her would have taken her for the most tender-hearted and faithful +handmaid in the world, and her mistress for another persecuted Penelope. + +Camilla was not long in recovering from her fainting fit and on coming to +herself she said, "Why do you not go, Leonela, to call hither that +friend, the falsest to his friend the sun ever shone upon or night +concealed? Away, run, haste, speed! lest the fire of my wrath burn itself +out with delay, and the righteous vengeance that I hope for melt away in +menaces and maledictions." + +"I am just going to call him, senora," said Leonela; "but you must first +give me that dagger, lest while I am gone you should by means of it give +cause to all who love you to weep all their lives." + +"Go in peace, dear Leonela, I will not do so," said Camilla, "for rash +and foolish as I may be, to your mind, in defending my honour, I am not +going to be so much so as that Lucretia who they say killed herself +without having done anything wrong, and without having first killed him +on whom the guilt of her misfortune lay. I shall die, if I am to die; but +it must be after full vengeance upon him who has brought me here to weep +over audacity that no fault of mine gave birth to." + +Leonela required much pressing before she would go to summon Lothario, +but at last she went, and while awaiting her return Camilla continued, as +if speaking to herself, "Good God! would it not have been more prudent to +have repulsed Lothario, as I have done many a time before, than to allow +him, as I am now doing, to think me unchaste and vile, even for the short +time I must wait until I undeceive him? No doubt it would have been +better; but I should not be avenged, nor the honour of my husband +vindicated, should he find so clear and easy an escape from the strait +into which his depravity has led him. Let the traitor pay with his life +for the temerity of his wanton wishes, and let the world know (if haply +it shall ever come to know) that Camilla not only preserved her +allegiance to her husband, but avenged him of the man who dared to wrong +him. Still, I think it might be better to disclose this to Anselmo. But +then I have called his attention to it in the letter I wrote to him in +the country, and, if he did nothing to prevent the mischief I there +pointed out to him, I suppose it was that from pure goodness of heart and +trustfulness he would not and could not believe that any thought against +his honour could harbour in the breast of so stanch a friend; nor indeed +did I myself believe it for many days, nor should I have ever believed it +if his insolence had not gone so far as to make it manifest by open +presents, lavish promises, and ceaseless tears. But why do I argue thus? +Does a bold determination stand in need of arguments? Surely not. Then +traitors avaunt! Vengeance to my aid! Let the false one come, approach, +advance, die, yield up his life, and then befall what may. Pure I came to +him whom Heaven bestowed upon me, pure I shall leave him; and at the +worst bathed in my own chaste blood and in the foul blood of the falsest +friend that friendship ever saw in the world;" and as she uttered these +words she paced the room holding the unsheathed dagger, with such +irregular and disordered steps, and such gestures that one would have +supposed her to have lost her senses, and taken her for some violent +desperado instead of a delicate woman. + +Anselmo, hidden behind some tapestries where he had concealed himself, +beheld and was amazed at all, and already felt that what he had seen and +heard was a sufficient answer to even greater suspicions; and he would +have been now well pleased if the proof afforded by Lothario's coming +were dispensed with, as he feared some sudden mishap; but as he was on +the point of showing himself and coming forth to embrace and undeceive +his wife he paused as he saw Leonela returning, leading Lothario. Camilla +when she saw him, drawing a long line in front of her on the floor with +the dagger, said to him, "Lothario, pay attention to what I say to thee: +if by any chance thou darest to cross this line thou seest, or even +approach it, the instant I see thee attempt it that same instant will I +pierce my bosom with this dagger that I hold in my hand; and before thou +answerest me a word desire thee to listen to a few from me, and +afterwards thou shalt reply as may please thee. First, I desire thee to +tell me, Lothario, if thou knowest my husband Anselmo, and in what light +thou regardest him; and secondly I desire to know if thou knowest me too. +Answer me this, without embarrassment or reflecting deeply what thou wilt +answer, for they are no riddles I put to thee." + +Lothario was not so dull but that from the first moment when Camilla +directed him to make Anselmo hide himself he understood what she intended +to do, and therefore he fell in with her idea so readily and promptly +that between them they made the imposture look more true than truth; so +he answered her thus: "I did not think, fair Camilla, that thou wert +calling me to ask questions so remote from the object with which I come; +but if it is to defer the promised reward thou art doing so, thou mightst +have put it off still longer, for the longing for happiness gives the +more distress the nearer comes the hope of gaining it; but lest thou +shouldst say that I do not answer thy questions, I say that I know thy +husband Anselmo, and that we have known each other from our earliest +years; I will not speak of what thou too knowest, of our friendship, that +I may not compel myself to testify against the wrong that love, the +mighty excuse for greater errors, makes me inflict upon him. Thee I know +and hold in the same estimation as he does, for were it not so I had not +for a lesser prize acted in opposition to what I owe to my station and +the holy laws of true friendship, now broken and violated by me through +that powerful enemy, love." + +"If thou dost confess that," returned Camilla, "mortal enemy of all that +rightly deserves to be loved, with what face dost thou dare to come +before one whom thou knowest to be the mirror wherein he is reflected on +whom thou shouldst look to see how unworthily thou him? But, woe is me, I +now comprehend what has made thee give so little heed to what thou owest +to thyself; it must have been some freedom of mine, for I will not call +it immodesty, as it did not proceed from any deliberate intention, but +from some heedlessness such as women are guilty of through inadvertence +when they think they have no occasion for reserve. But tell me, traitor, +when did I by word or sign give a reply to thy prayers that could awaken +in thee a shadow of hope of attaining thy base wishes? When were not thy +professions of love sternly and scornfully rejected and rebuked? When +were thy frequent pledges and still more frequent gifts believed or +accepted? But as I am persuaded that no one can long persevere in the +attempt to win love unsustained by some hope, I am willing to attribute +to myself the blame of thy assurance, for no doubt some thoughtlessness +of mine has all this time fostered thy hopes; and therefore will I punish +myself and inflict upon myself the penalty thy guilt deserves. And that +thou mayest see that being so relentless to myself I cannot possibly be +otherwise to thee, I have summoned thee to be a witness of the sacrifice +I mean to offer to the injured honour of my honoured husband, wronged by +thee with all the assiduity thou wert capable of, and by me too through +want of caution in avoiding every occasion, if I have given any, of +encouraging and sanctioning thy base designs. Once more I say the +suspicion in my mind that some imprudence of mine has engendered these +lawless thoughts in thee, is what causes me most distress and what I +desire most to punish with my own hands, for were any other instrument of +punishment employed my error might become perhaps more widely known; but +before I do so, in my death I mean to inflict death, and take with me one +that will fully satisfy my longing for the revenge I hope for and have; +for I shall see, wheresoever it may be that I go, the penalty awarded by +inflexible, unswerving justice on him who has placed me in a position so +desperate." + +As she uttered these words, with incredible energy and swiftness she flew +upon Lothario with the naked dagger, so manifestly bent on burying it in +his breast that he was almost uncertain whether these demonstrations were +real or feigned, for he was obliged to have recourse to all his skill and +strength to prevent her from striking him; and with such reality did she +act this strange farce and mystification that, to give it a colour of +truth, she determined to stain it with her own blood; for perceiving, or +pretending, that she could not wound Lothario, she said, "Fate, it seems, +will not grant my just desire complete satisfaction, but it will not be +able to keep me from satisfying it partially at least;" and making an +effort to free the hand with the dagger which Lothario held in his grasp, +she released it, and directing the point to a place where it could not +inflict a deep wound, she plunged it into her left side high up close to +the shoulder, and then allowed herself to fall to the ground as if in a +faint. + +Leonela and Lothario stood amazed and astounded at the catastrophe, and +seeing Camilla stretched on the ground and bathed in her blood they were +still uncertain as to the true nature of the act. Lothario, terrified and +breathless, ran in haste to pluck out the dagger; but when he saw how +slight the wound was he was relieved of his fears and once more admired +the subtlety, coolness, and ready wit of the fair Camilla; and the better +to support the part he had to play he began to utter profuse and doleful +lamentations over her body as if she were dead, invoking maledictions not +only on himself but also on him who had been the means of placing him in +such a position: and knowing that his friend Anselmo heard him he spoke +in such a way as to make a listener feel much more pity for him than for +Camilla, even though he supposed her dead. Leonela took her up in her +arms and laid her on the bed, entreating Lothario to go in quest of some +one to attend to her wound in secret, and at the same time asking his +advice and opinion as to what they should say to Anselmo about his lady's +wound if he should chance to return before it was healed. He replied they +might say what they liked, for he was not in a state to give advice that +would be of any use; all he could tell her was to try and stanch the +blood, as he was going where he should never more be seen; and with every +appearance of deep grief and sorrow he left the house; but when he found +himself alone, and where there was nobody to see him, he crossed himself +unceasingly, lost in wonder at the adroitness of Camilla and the +consistent acting of Leonela. He reflected how convinced Anselmo would be +that he had a second Portia for a wife, and he looked forward anxiously +to meeting him in order to rejoice together over falsehood and truth the +most craftily veiled that could be imagined. + +Leonela, as he told her, stanched her lady's blood, which was no more +than sufficed to support her deception; and washing the wound with a +little wine she bound it up to the best of her skill, talking all the +time she was tending her in a strain that, even if nothing else had been +said before, would have been enough to assure Anselmo that he had in +Camilla a model of purity. To Leonela's words Camilla added her own, +calling herself cowardly and wanting in spirit, since she had not enough +at the time she had most need of it to rid herself of the life she so +much loathed. She asked her attendant's advice as to whether or not she +ought to inform her beloved husband of all that had happened, but the +other bade her say nothing about it, as she would lay upon him the +obligation of taking vengeance on Lothario, which he could not do but at +great risk to himself; and it was the duty of a true wife not to give her +husband provocation to quarrel, but, on the contrary, to remove it as far +as possible from him. + +Camilla replied that she believed she was right and that she would follow +her advice, but at any rate it would be well to consider how she was to +explain the wound to Anselmo, for he could not help seeing it; to which +Leonela answered that she did not know how to tell a lie even in jest. + +"How then can I know, my dear?" said Camilla, "for I should not dare to +forge or keep up a falsehood if my life depended on it. If we can think +of no escape from this difficulty, it will be better to tell him the +plain truth than that he should find us out in an untrue story." + +"Be not uneasy, senora," said Leonela; "between this and to-morrow I will +think of what we must say to him, and perhaps the wound being where it is +it can be hidden from his sight, and Heaven will be pleased to aid us in +a purpose so good and honourable. Compose yourself, senora, and endeavour +to calm your excitement lest my lord find you agitated; and leave the +rest to my care and God's, who always supports good intentions." + +Anselmo had with the deepest attention listened to and seen played out +the tragedy of the death of his honour, which the performers acted with +such wonderfully effective truth that it seemed as if they had become the +realities of the parts they played. He longed for night and an +opportunity of escaping from the house to go and see his good friend +Lothario, and with him give vent to his joy over the precious pearl he +had gained in having established his wife's purity. Both mistress and +maid took care to give him time and opportunity to get away, and taking +advantage of it he made his escape, and at once went in quest of +Lothario, and it would be impossible to describe how he embraced him when +he found him, and the things he said to him in the joy of his heart, and +the praises he bestowed upon Camilla; all which Lothario listened to +without being able to show any pleasure, for he could not forget how +deceived his friend was, and how dishonourably he had wronged him; and +though Anselmo could see that Lothario was not glad, still he imagined it +was only because he had left Camilla wounded and had been himself the +cause of it; and so among other things he told him not to be distressed +about Camilla's accident, for, as they had agreed to hide it from him, +the wound was evidently trifling; and that being so, he had no cause for +fear, but should henceforward be of good cheer and rejoice with him, +seeing that by his means and adroitness he found himself raised to the +greatest height of happiness that he could have ventured to hope for, and +desired no better pastime than making verses in praise of Camilla that +would preserve her name for all time to come. Lothario commended his +purpose, and promised on his own part to aid him in raising a monument so +glorious. + +And so Anselmo was left the most charmingly hoodwinked man there could be +in the world. He himself, persuaded he was conducting the instrument of +his glory, led home by the hand him who had been the utter destruction of +his good name; whom Camilla received with averted countenance, though +with smiles in her heart. The deception was carried on for some time, +until at the end of a few months Fortune turned her wheel and the guilt +which had been until then so skilfully concealed was published abroad, +and Anselmo paid with his life the penalty of his ill-advised curiosity. + +Chapter XXXV. - +Which treats of the heroic and prodigious battle Don Quixote had with +certain skins of red wine, and brings the novel of "the ill-advised +curiosity" to a close + +There remained but little more of the novel to be read, when Sancho Panza +burst forth in wild excitement from the garret where Don Quixote was +lying, shouting, "Run, sirs! quick; and help my master, who is in the +thick of the toughest and stiffest battle I ever laid eyes on. By the +living God he has given the giant, the enemy of my lady the Princess +Micomicona, such a slash that he has sliced his head clean off as if it +were a turnip." + +"What are you talking about, brother?" said the curate, pausing as he was +about to read the remainder of the novel. "Are you in your senses, +Sancho? How the devil can it be as you say, when the giant is two +thousand leagues away?" + +Here they heard a loud noise in the chamber, and Don Quixote shouting +out, "Stand, thief, brigand, villain; now I have got thee, and thy +scimitar shall not avail thee!" And then it seemed as though he were +slashing vigorously at the wall. + +"Don't stop to listen," said Sancho, "but go in and part them or help my +master: though there is no need of that now, for no doubt the giant is +dead by this time and giving account to God of his past wicked life; for +I saw the blood flowing on the ground, and the head cut off and fallen on +one side, and it is as big as a large wine-skin." + +"May I die," said the landlord at this, "if Don Quixote or Don Devil has +not been slashing some of the skins of red wine that stand full at his +bed's head, and the spilt wine must be what this good fellow takes for +blood;" and so saying he went into the room and the rest after him, and +there they found Don Quixote in the strangest costume in the world. He +was in his shirt, which was not long enough in front to cover his thighs +completely and was six fingers shorter behind; his legs were very long +and lean, covered with hair, and anything but clean; on his head he had a +little greasy red cap that belonged to the host, round his left arm he +had rolled the blanket of the bed, to which Sancho, for reasons best +known to himself, owed a grudge, and in his right hand he held his +unsheathed sword, with which he was slashing about on all sides, uttering +exclamations as if he were actually fighting some giant: and the best of +it was his eyes were not open, for he was fast asleep, and dreaming that +he was doing battle with the giant. For his imagination was so wrought +upon by the adventure he was going to accomplish, that it made him dream +he had already reached the kingdom of Micomicon, and was engaged in +combat with his enemy; and believing he was laying on the giant, he had +given so many sword cuts to the skins that the whole room was full of +wine. On seeing this the landlord was so enraged that he fell on Don +Quixote, and with his clenched fist began to pummel him in such a way, +that if Cardenio and the curate had not dragged him off, he would have +brought the war of the giant to an end. But in spite of all the poor +gentleman never woke until the barber brought a great pot of cold water +from the well and flung it with one dash all over his body, on which Don +Quixote woke up, but not so completely as to understand what was the +matter. Dorothea, seeing how short and slight his attire was, would not +go in to witness the battle between her champion and her opponent. As for +Sancho, he went searching all over the floor for the head of the giant, +and not finding it he said, "I see now that it's all enchantment in this +house; for the last time, on this very spot where I am now, I got ever so +many thumps without knowing who gave them to me, or being able to see +anybody; and now this head is not to be seen anywhere about, though I saw +it cut off with my own eyes and the blood running from the body as if +from a fountain." + +"What blood and fountains are you talking about, enemy of God and his +saints?" said the landlord. "Don't you see, you thief, that the blood and +the fountain are only these skins here that have been stabbed and the red +wine swimming all over the room?--and I wish I saw the soul of him that +stabbed them swimming in hell." + +"I know nothing about that," said Sancho; "all I know is it will be my +bad luck that through not finding this head my county will melt away like +salt in water;"--for Sancho awake was worse than his master asleep, so +much had his master's promises addled his wits. + +The landlord was beside himself at the coolness of the squire and the +mischievous doings of the master, and swore it should not be like the +last time when they went without paying; and that their privileges of +chivalry should not hold good this time to let one or other of them off +without paying, even to the cost of the plugs that would have to be put +to the damaged wine-skins. The curate was holding Don Quixote's hands, +who, fancying he had now ended the adventure and was in the presence of +the Princess Micomicona, knelt before the curate and said, "Exalted and +beauteous lady, your highness may live from this day forth fearless of +any harm this base being could do you; and I too from this day forth am +released from the promise I gave you, since by the help of God on high +and by the favour of her by whom I live and breathe, I have fulfilled it +so successfully." + +"Did not I say so?" said Sancho on hearing this. "You see I wasn't drunk; +there you see my master has already salted the giant; there's no doubt +about the bulls; my county is all right!" + +Who could have helped laughing at the absurdities of the pair, master and +man? And laugh they did, all except the landlord, who cursed himself; but +at length the barber, Cardenio, and the curate contrived with no small +trouble to get Don Quixote on the bed, and he fell asleep with every +appearance of excessive weariness. They left him to sleep, and came out +to the gate of the inn to console Sancho Panza on not having found the +head of the giant; but much more work had they to appease the landlord, +who was furious at the sudden death of his wine-skins; and said the +landlady half scolding, half crying, "At an evil moment and in an unlucky +hour he came into my house, this knight-errant--would that I had never +set eyes on him, for dear he has cost me; the last time he went off with +the overnight score against him for supper, bed, straw, and barley, for +himself and his squire and a hack and an ass, saying he was a knight +adventurer--God send unlucky adventures to him and all the adventurers in +the world--and therefore not bound to pay anything, for it was so settled +by the knight-errantry tariff: and then, all because of him, came the +other gentleman and carried off my tail, and gives it back more than two +cuartillos the worse, all stripped of its hair, so that it is no use for +my husband's purpose; and then, for a finishing touch to all, to burst my +wine-skins and spill my wine! I wish I saw his own blood spilt! But let +him not deceive himself, for, by the bones of my father and the shade of +my mother, they shall pay me down every quarts; or my name is not what it +is, and I am not my father's daughter." All this and more to the same +effect the landlady delivered with great irritation, and her good maid +Maritornes backed her up, while the daughter held her peace and smiled +from time to time. The curate smoothed matters by promising to make good +all losses to the best of his power, not only as regarded the wine-skins +but also the wine, and above all the depreciation of the tail which they +set such store by. Dorothea comforted Sancho, telling him that she +pledged herself, as soon as it should appear certain that his master had +decapitated the giant, and she found herself peacefully established in +her kingdom, to bestow upon him the best county there was in it. With +this Sancho consoled himself, and assured the princess she might rely +upon it that he had seen the head of the giant, and more by token it had +a beard that reached to the girdle, and that if it was not to be seen now +it was because everything that happened in that house went by +enchantment, as he himself had proved the last time he had lodged there. +Dorothea said she fully believed it, and that he need not be uneasy, for +all would go well and turn out as he wished. All therefore being +appeased, the curate was anxious to go on with the novel, as he saw there +was but little more left to read. Dorothea and the others begged him to +finish it, and he, as he was willing to please them, and enjoyed reading +it himself, continued the tale in these words: + +The result was, that from the confidence Anselmo felt in Camilla's +virtue, he lived happy and free from anxiety, and Camilla purposely +looked coldly on Lothario, that Anselmo might suppose her feelings +towards him to be the opposite of what they were; and the better to +support the position, Lothario begged to be excused from coming to the +house, as the displeasure with which Camilla regarded his presence was +plain to be seen. But the befooled Anselmo said he would on no account +allow such a thing, and so in a thousand ways he became the author of his +own dishonour, while he believed he was insuring his happiness. Meanwhile +the satisfaction with which Leonela saw herself empowered to carry on her +amour reached such a height that, regardless of everything else, she +followed her inclinations unrestrainedly, feeling confident that her +mistress would screen her, and even show her how to manage it safely. At +last one night Anselmo heard footsteps in Leonela's room, and on trying +to enter to see who it was, he found that the door was held against him, +which made him all the more determined to open it; and exerting his +strength he forced it open, and entered the room in time to see a man +leaping through the window into the street. He ran quickly to seize him +or discover who he was, but he was unable to effect either purpose, for +Leonela flung her arms round him crying, "Be calm, senor; do not give way +to passion or follow him who has escaped from this; he belongs to me, and +in fact he is my husband." + +Anselmo would not believe it, but blind with rage drew a dagger and +threatened to stab Leonela, bidding her tell the truth or he would kill +her. She, in her fear, not knowing what she was saying, exclaimed, "Do +not kill me, senor, for I can tell you things more important than any you +can imagine." + +"Tell me then at once or thou diest," said Anselmo. + +"It would be impossible for me now," said Leonela, "I am so agitated: +leave me till to-morrow, and then you shall hear from me what will fill +you with astonishment; but rest assured that he who leaped through the +window is a young man of this city, who has given me his promise to +become my husband." + +Anselmo was appeased with this, and was content to wait the time she +asked of him, for he never expected to hear anything against Camilla, so +satisfied and sure of her virtue was he; and so he quitted the room, and +left Leonela locked in, telling her she should not come out until she had +told him all she had to make known to him. He went at once to see +Camilla, and tell her, as he did, all that had passed between him and her +handmaid, and the promise she had given him to inform him matters of +serious importance. + +There is no need of saying whether Camilla was agitated or not, for so +great was her fear and dismay, that, making sure, as she had good reason +to do, that Leonela would tell Anselmo all she knew of her faithlessness, +she had not the courage to wait and see if her suspicions were confirmed; +and that same night, as soon as she thought that Anselmo was asleep, she +packed up the most valuable jewels she had and some money, and without +being observed by anybody escaped from the house and betook herself to +Lothario's, to whom she related what had occurred, imploring him to +convey her to some place of safety or fly with her where they might be +safe from Anselmo. The state of perplexity to which Camilla reduced +Lothario was such that he was unable to utter a word in reply, still less +to decide upon what he should do. At length he resolved to conduct her to +a convent of which a sister of his was prioress; Camilla agreed to this, +and with the speed which the circumstances demanded, Lothario took her to +the convent and left her there, and then himself quitted the city without +letting anyone know of his departure. + +As soon as daylight came Anselmo, without missing Camilla from his side, +rose cager to learn what Leonela had to tell him, and hastened to the +room where he had locked her in. He opened the door, entered, but found +no Leonela; all he found was some sheets knotted to the window, a plain +proof that she had let herself down from it and escaped. He returned, +uneasy, to tell Camilla, but not finding her in bed or anywhere in the +house he was lost in amazement. He asked the servants of the house about +her, but none of them could give him any explanation. As he was going in +search of Camilla it happened by chance that he observed her boxes were +lying open, and that the greater part of her jewels were gone; and now he +became fully aware of his disgrace, and that Leonela was not the cause of +his misfortune; and, just as he was, without delaying to dress himself +completely, he repaired, sad at heart and dejected, to his friend +Lothario to make known his sorrow to him; but when he failed to find him +and the servants reported that he had been absent from his house all +night and had taken with him all the money he had, he felt as though he +were losing his senses; and to make all complete on returning to his own +house he found it deserted and empty, not one of all his servants, male +or female, remaining in it. He knew not what to think, or say, or do, and +his reason seemed to be deserting him little by little. He reviewed his +position, and saw himself in a moment left without wife, friend, or +servants, abandoned, he felt, by the heaven above him, and more than all +robbed of his honour, for in Camilla's disappearance he saw his own ruin. +After long reflection he resolved at last to go to his friend's village, +where he had been staying when he afforded opportunities for the +contrivance of this complication of misfortune. He locked the doors of +his house, mounted his horse, and with a broken spirit set out on his +journey; but he had hardly gone half-way when, harassed by his +reflections, he had to dismount and tie his horse to a tree, at the foot +of which he threw himself, giving vent to piteous heartrending sighs; and +there he remained till nearly nightfall, when he observed a man +approaching on horseback from the city, of whom, after saluting him, he +asked what was the news in Florence. + +The citizen replied, "The strangest that have been heard for many a day; +for it is reported abroad that Lothario, the great friend of the wealthy +Anselmo, who lived at San Giovanni, carried off last night Camilla, the +wife of Anselmo, who also has disappeared. All this has been told by a +maid-servant of Camilla's, whom the governor found last night lowering +herself by a sheet from the windows of Anselmo's house. I know not +indeed, precisely, how the affair came to pass; all I know is that the +whole city is wondering at the occurrence, for no one could have expected +a thing of the kind, seeing the great and intimate friendship that +existed between them, so great, they say, that they were called 'The Two +Friends.'" + +"Is it known at all," said Anselmo, "what road Lothario and Camilla +took?" + +"Not in the least," said the citizen, "though the governor has been very +active in searching for them." + +"God speed you, senor," said Anselmo. + +"God be with you," said the citizen and went his way. + +This disastrous intelligence almost robbed Anselmo not only of his senses +but of his life. He got up as well as he was able and reached the house +of his friend, who as yet knew nothing of his misfortune, but seeing him +come pale, worn, and haggard, perceived that he was suffering some heavy +affliction. Anselmo at once begged to be allowed to retire to rest, and +to be given writing materials. His wish was complied with and he was left +lying down and alone, for he desired this, and even that the door should +be locked. Finding himself alone he so took to heart the thought of his +misfortune that by the signs of death he felt within him he knew well his +life was drawing to a close, and therefore he resolved to leave behind +him a declaration of the cause of his strange end. He began to write, but +before he had put down all he meant to say, his breath failed him and he +yielded up his life, a victim to the suffering which his ill-advised +curiosity had entailed upon him. The master of the house observing that +it was now late and that Anselmo did not call, determined to go in and +ascertain if his indisposition was increasing, and found him lying on his +face, his body partly in the bed, partly on the writing-table, on which +he lay with the written paper open and the pen still in his hand. Having +first called to him without receiving any answer, his host approached +him, and taking him by the hand, found that it was cold, and saw that he +was dead. Greatly surprised and distressed he summoned the household to +witness the sad fate which had befallen Anselmo; and then he read the +paper, the handwriting of which he recognised as his, and which contained +these words: + +"A foolish and ill-advised desire has robbed me of life. If the news of +my death should reach the ears of Camilla, let her know that I forgive +her, for she was not bound to perform miracles, nor ought I to have +required her to perform them; and since I have been the author of my own +dishonour, there is no reason why-" + +So far Anselmo had written, and thus it was plain that at this point, +before he could finish what he had to say, his life came to an end. The +next day his friend sent intelligence of his death to his relatives, who +had already ascertained his misfortune, as well as the convent where +Camilla lay almost on the point of accompanying her husband on that +inevitable journey, not on account of the tidings of his death, but +because of those she received of her lover's departure. Although she saw +herself a widow, it is said she refused either to quit the convent or +take the veil, until, not long afterwards, intelligence reached her that +Lothario had been killed in a battle in which M. de Lautrec had been +recently engaged with the Great Captain Gonzalo Fernandez de Cordova in +the kingdom of Naples, whither her too late repentant lover had repaired. +On learning this Camilla took the veil, and shortly afterwards died, worn +out by grief and melancholy. This was the end of all three, an end that +came of a thoughtless beginning. + +"I like this novel," said the curate; "but I cannot persuade myself of +its truth; and if it has been invented, the author's invention is faulty, +for it is impossible to imagine any husband so foolish as to try such a +costly experiment as Anselmo's. If it had been represented as occurring +between a gallant and his mistress it might pass; but between husband and +wife there is something of an impossibility about it. As to the way in +which the story is told, however, I have no fault to find." + +Chapter XXXVI. - +Which treats of more curious incidents that occurred at the inn + +Just at that instant the landlord, who was standing at the gate of the +inn, exclaimed, "Here comes a fine troop of guests; if they stop here we +may say gaudeamus." + +"What are they?" said Cardenio. + +"Four men," said the landlord, "riding a la jineta, with lances and +bucklers, and all with black veils, and with them there is a woman in +white on a side-saddle, whose face is also veiled, and two attendants on +foot." + +"Are they very near?" said the curate. + +"So near," answered the landlord, "that here they come." + +Hearing this Dorothea covered her face, and Cardenio retreated into Don +Quixote's room, and they hardly had time to do so before the whole party +the host had described entered the inn, and the four that were on +horseback, who were of highbred appearance and bearing, dismounted, and +came forward to take down the woman who rode on the side-saddle, and one +of them taking her in his arms placed her in a chair that stood at the +entrance of the room where Cardenio had hidden himself. All this time +neither she nor they had removed their veils or spoken a word, only on +sitting down on the chair the woman gave a deep sigh and let her arms +fall like one that was ill and weak. The attendants on foot then led the +horses away to the stable. Observing this the curate, curious to know who +these people in such a dress and preserving such silence were, went to +where the servants were standing and put the question to one of them, who +answered him. + +"Faith, sir, I cannot tell you who they are, I only know they seem to be +people of distinction, particularly he who advanced to take the lady you +saw in his arms; and I say so because all the rest show him respect, and +nothing is done except what he directs and orders." + +"And the lady, who is she?" asked the curate. + +"That I cannot tell you either," said the servant, "for I have not seen +her face all the way: I have indeed heard her sigh many times and utter +such groans that she seems to be giving up the ghost every time; but it +is no wonder if we do not know more than we have told you, as my comrade +and I have only been in their company two days, for having met us on the +road they begged and persuaded us to accompany them to Andalusia, +promising to pay us well." + +"And have you heard any of them called by his name?" asked the curate. + +"No, indeed," replied the servant; "they all preserve a marvellous +silence on the road, for not a sound is to be heard among them except the +poor lady's sighs and sobs, which make us pity her; and we feel sure that +wherever it is she is going, it is against her will, and as far as one +can judge from her dress she is a nun or, what is more likely, about to +become one; and perhaps it is because taking the vows is not of her own +free will, that she is so unhappy as she seems to be." + +"That may well be," said the curate, and leaving them he returned to +where Dorothea was, who, hearing the veiled lady sigh, moved by natural +compassion drew near to her and said, "What are you suffering from, +senora? If it be anything that women are accustomed and know how to +relieve, I offer you my services with all my heart." + +To this the unhappy lady made no reply; and though Dorothea repeated her +offers more earnestly she still kept silence, until the gentleman with +the veil, who, the servant said, was obeyed by the rest, approached and +said to Dorothea, "Do not give yourself the trouble, senora, of making +any offers to that woman, for it is her way to give no thanks for +anything that is done for her; and do not try to make her answer unless +you want to hear some lie from her lips." + +"I have never told a lie," was the immediate reply of her who had been +silent until now; "on the contrary, it is because I am so truthful and so +ignorant of lying devices that I am now in this miserable condition; and +this I call you yourself to witness, for it is my unstained truth that +has made you false and a liar." + +Cardenio heard these words clearly and distinctly, being quite close to +the speaker, for there was only the door of Don Quixote's room between +them, and the instant he did so, uttering a loud exclamation he cried, +"Good God! what is this I hear? What voice is this that has reached my +ears?" Startled at the voice the lady turned her head; and not seeing the +speaker she stood up and attempted to enter the room; observing which the +gentleman held her back, preventing her from moving a step. In her +agitation and sudden movement the silk with which she had covered her +face fell off and disclosed a countenance of incomparable and marvellous +beauty, but pale and terrified; for she kept turning her eyes, everywhere +she could direct her gaze, with an eagerness that made her look as if she +had lost her senses, and so marked that it excited the pity of Dorothea +and all who beheld her, though they knew not what caused it. The +gentleman grasped her firmly by the shoulders, and being so fully +occupied with holding her back, he was unable to put a hand to his veil +which was falling off, as it did at length entirely, and Dorothea, who +was holding the lady in her arms, raising her eyes saw that he who +likewise held her was her husband, Don Fernando. The instant she +recognised him, with a prolonged plaintive cry drawn from the depths of +her heart, she fell backwards fainting, and but for the barber being +close by to catch her in his arms, she would have fallen completely to +the ground. The curate at once hastened to uncover her face and throw +water on it, and as he did so Don Fernando, for he it was who held the +other in his arms, recognised her and stood as if death-stricken by the +sight; not, however, relaxing his grasp of Luscinda, for it was she that +was struggling to release herself from his hold, having recognised +Cardenio by his voice, as he had recognised her. Cardenio also heard +Dorothea's cry as she fell fainting, and imagining that it came from his +Luscinda burst forth in terror from the room, and the first thing he saw +was Don Fernando with Luscinda in his arms. Don Fernando, too, knew +Cardenio at once; and all three, Luscinda, Cardenio, and Dorothea, stood +in silent amazement scarcely knowing what had happened to them. + +They gazed at one another without speaking, Dorothea at Don Fernando, Don +Fernando at Cardenio, Cardenio at Luscinda, and Luscinda at Cardenio. The +first to break silence was Luscinda, who thus addressed Don Fernando: +"Leave me, Senor Don Fernando, for the sake of what you owe to yourself; +if no other reason will induce you, leave me to cling to the wall of +which I am the ivy, to the support from which neither your importunities, +nor your threats, nor your promises, nor your gifts have been able to +detach me. See how Heaven, by ways strange and hidden from our sight, has +brought me face to face with my true husband; and well you know by +dear-bought experience that death alone will be able to efface him from +my memory. May this plain declaration, then, lead you, as you can do +nothing else, to turn your love into rage, your affection into +resentment, and so to take my life; for if I yield it up in the presence +of my beloved husband I count it well bestowed; it may be by my death he +will be convinced that I kept my faith to him to the last moment of +life." + +Meanwhile Dorothea had come to herself, and had heard Luscinda's words, +by means of which she divined who she was; but seeing that Don Fernando +did not yet release her or reply to her, summoning up her resolution as +well as she could she rose and knelt at his feet, and with a flood of +bright and touching tears addressed him thus: + +"If, my lord, the beams of that sun that thou holdest eclipsed in thine +arms did not dazzle and rob thine eyes of sight thou wouldst have seen by +this time that she who kneels at thy feet is, so long as thou wilt have +it so, the unhappy and unfortunate Dorothea. I am that lowly peasant girl +whom thou in thy goodness or for thy pleasure wouldst raise high enough +to call herself thine; I am she who in the seclusion of innocence led a +contented life until at the voice of thy importunity, and thy true and +tender passion, as it seemed, she opened the gates of her modesty and +surrendered to thee the keys of her liberty; a gift received by thee but +thanklessly, as is clearly shown by my forced retreat to the place where +thou dost find me, and by thy appearance under the circumstances in which +I see thee. Nevertheless, I would not have thee suppose that I have come +here driven by my shame; it is only grief and sorrow at seeing myself +forgotten by thee that have led me. It was thy will to make me thine, and +thou didst so follow thy will, that now, even though thou repentest, thou +canst not help being mine. Bethink thee, my lord, the unsurpassable +affection I bear thee may compensate for the beauty and noble birth for +which thou wouldst desert me. Thou canst not be the fair Luscinda's +because thou art mine, nor can she be thine because she is Cardenio's; +and it will be easier, remember, to bend thy will to love one who adores +thee, than to lead one to love thee who abhors thee now. Thou didst +address thyself to my simplicity, thou didst lay siege to my virtue, thou +wert not ignorant of my station, well dost thou know how I yielded wholly +to thy will; there is no ground or reason for thee to plead deception, +and if it be so, as it is, and if thou art a Christian as thou art a +gentleman, why dost thou by such subterfuges put off making me as happy +at last as thou didst at first? And if thou wilt not have me for what I +am, thy true and lawful wife, at least take and accept me as thy slave, +for so long as I am thine I will count myself happy and fortunate. Do not +by deserting me let my shame become the talk of the gossips in the +streets; make not the old age of my parents miserable; for the loyal +services they as faithful vassals have ever rendered thine are not +deserving of such a return; and if thou thinkest it will debase thy blood +to mingle it with mine, reflect that there is little or no nobility in +the world that has not travelled the same road, and that in illustrious +lineages it is not the woman's blood that is of account; and, moreover, +that true nobility consists in virtue, and if thou art wanting in that, +refusing me what in justice thou owest me, then even I have higher claims +to nobility than thine. To make an end, senor, these are my last words to +thee: whether thou wilt, or wilt not, I am thy wife; witness thy words, +which must not and ought not to be false, if thou dost pride thyself on +that for want of which thou scornest me; witness the pledge which thou +didst give me, and witness Heaven, which thou thyself didst call to +witness the promise thou hadst made me; and if all this fail, thy own +conscience will not fail to lift up its silent voice in the midst of all +thy gaiety, and vindicate the truth of what I say and mar thy highest +pleasure and enjoyment." + +All this and more the injured Dorothea delivered with such earnest +feeling and such tears that all present, even those who came with Don +Fernando, were constrained to join her in them. Don Fernando listened to +her without replying, until, ceasing to speak, she gave way to such sobs +and sighs that it must have been a heart of brass that was not softened +by the sight of so great sorrow. Luscinda stood regarding her with no +less compassion for her sufferings than admiration for her intelligence +and beauty, and would have gone to her to say some words of comfort to +her, but was prevented by Don Fernando's grasp which held her fast. He, +overwhelmed with confusion and astonishment, after regarding Dorothea for +some moments with a fixed gaze, opened his arms, and, releasing Luscinda, +exclaimed: + +"Thou hast conquered, fair Dorothea, thou hast conquered, for it is +impossible to have the heart to deny the united force of so many truths." + +Luscinda in her feebleness was on the point of falling to the ground when +Don Fernando released her, but Cardenio, who stood near, having retreated +behind Don Fernando to escape recognition, casting fear aside and +regardless of what might happen, ran forward to support her, and said as +he clasped her in his arms, "If Heaven in its compassion is willing to +let thee rest at last, mistress of my heart, true, constant, and fair, +nowhere canst thou rest more safely than in these arms that now receive +thee, and received thee before when fortune permitted me to call thee +mine." + +At these words Luscinda looked up at Cardenio, at first beginning to +recognise him by his voice and then satisfying herself by her eyes that +it was he, and hardly knowing what she did, and heedless of all +considerations of decorum, she flung her arms around his neck and +pressing her face close to his, said, "Yes, my dear lord, you are the +true master of this your slave, even though adverse fate interpose again, +and fresh dangers threaten this life that hangs on yours." + +A strange sight was this for Don Fernando and those that stood around, +filled with surprise at an incident so unlooked for. Dorothea fancied +that Don Fernando changed colour and looked as though he meant to take +vengeance on Cardenio, for she observed him put his hand to his sword; +and the instant the idea struck her, with wonderful quickness she clasped +him round the knees, and kissing them and holding him so as to prevent +his moving, she said, while her tears continued to flow, "What is it thou +wouldst do, my only refuge, in this unforeseen event? Thou hast thy wife +at thy feet, and she whom thou wouldst have for thy wife is in the arms +of her husband: reflect whether it will be right for thee, whether it +will be possible for thee to undo what Heaven has done, or whether it +will be becoming in thee to seek to raise her to be thy mate who in spite +of every obstacle, and strong in her truth and constancy, is before thine +eyes, bathing with the tears of love the face and bosom of her lawful +husband. For God's sake I entreat of thee, for thine own I implore thee, +let not this open manifestation rouse thy anger; but rather so calm it as +to allow these two lovers to live in peace and quiet without any +interference from thee so long as Heaven permits them; and in so doing +thou wilt prove the generosity of thy lofty noble spirit, and the world +shall see that with thee reason has more influence than passion." + +All the time Dorothea was speaking, Cardenio, though he held Luscinda in +his arms, never took his eyes off Don Fernando, determined, if he saw him +make any hostile movement, to try and defend himself and resist as best +he could all who might assail him, though it should cost him his life. +But now Don Fernando's friends, as well as the curate and the barber, who +had been present all the while, not forgetting the worthy Sancho Panza, +ran forward and gathered round Don Fernando, entreating him to have +regard for the tears of Dorothea, and not suffer her reasonable hopes to +be disappointed, since, as they firmly believed, what she said was but +the truth; and bidding him observe that it was not, as it might seem, by +accident, but by a special disposition of Providence that they had all +met in a place where no one could have expected a meeting. And the curate +bade him remember that only death could part Luscinda from Cardenio; that +even if some sword were to separate them they would think their death +most happy; and that in a case that admitted of no remedy his wisest +course was, by conquering and putting a constraint upon himself, to show +a generous mind, and of his own accord suffer these two to enjoy the +happiness Heaven had granted them. He bade him, too, turn his eyes upon +the beauty of Dorothea and he would see that few if any could equal much +less excel her; while to that beauty should be added her modesty and the +surpassing love she bore him. But besides all this, he reminded him that +if he prided himself on being a gentleman and a Christian, he could not +do otherwise than keep his plighted word; and that in doing so he would +obey God and meet the approval of all sensible people, who know and +recognised it to be the privilege of beauty, even in one of humble birth, +provided virtue accompany it, to be able to raise itself to the level of +any rank, without any slur upon him who places it upon an equality with +himself; and furthermore that when the potent sway of passion asserts +itself, so long as there be no mixture of sin in it, he is not to be +blamed who gives way to it. + +To be brief, they added to these such other forcible arguments that Don +Fernando's manly heart, being after all nourished by noble blood, was +touched, and yielded to the truth which, even had he wished it, he could +not gainsay; and he showed his submission, and acceptance of the good +advice that had been offered to him, by stooping down and embracing +Dorothea, saying to her, "Rise, dear lady, it is not right that what I +hold in my heart should be kneeling at my feet; and if until now I have +shown no sign of what I own, it may have been by Heaven's decree in order +that, seeing the constancy with which you love me, I may learn to value +you as you deserve. What I entreat of you is that you reproach me not +with my transgression and grievous wrong-doing; for the same cause and +force that drove me to make you mine impelled me to struggle against +being yours; and to prove this, turn and look at the eyes of the now +happy Luscinda, and you will see in them an excuse for all my errors: and +as she has found and gained the object of her desires, and I have found +in you what satisfies all my wishes, may she live in peace and +contentment as many happy years with her Cardenio, as on my knees I pray +Heaven to allow me to live with my Dorothea;" and with these words he +once more embraced her and pressed his face to hers with so much +tenderness that he had to take great heed to keep his tears from +completing the proof of his love and repentance in the sight of all. Not +so Luscinda, and Cardenio, and almost all the others, for they shed so +many tears, some in their own happiness, some at that of the others, that +one would have supposed a heavy calamity had fallen upon them all. Even +Sancho Panza was weeping; though afterwards he said he only wept because +he saw that Dorothea was not as he fancied the queen Micomicona, of whom +he expected such great favours. Their wonder as well as their weeping +lasted some time, and then Cardenio and Luscinda went and fell on their +knees before Don Fernando, returning him thanks for the favour he had +rendered them in language so grateful that he knew not how to answer +them, and raising them up embraced them with every mark of affection and +courtesy. + +He then asked Dorothea how she had managed to reach a place so far +removed from her own home, and she in a few fitting words told all that +she had previously related to Cardenio, with which Don Fernando and his +companions were so delighted that they wished the story had been longer; +so charmingly did Dorothea describe her misadventures. When she had +finished Don Fernando recounted what had befallen him in the city after +he had found in Luscinda's bosom the paper in which she declared that she +was Cardenio's wife, and never could be his. He said he meant to kill +her, and would have done so had he not been prevented by her parents, and +that he quitted the house full of rage and shame, and resolved to avenge +himself when a more convenient opportunity should offer. The next day he +learned that Luscinda had disappeared from her father's house, and that +no one could tell whither she had gone. Finally, at the end of some +months he ascertained that she was in a convent and meant to remain there +all the rest of her life, if she were not to share it with Cardenio; and +as soon as he had learned this, taking these three gentlemen as his +companions, he arrived at the place where she was, but avoided speaking +to her, fearing that if it were known he was there stricter precautions +would be taken in the convent; and watching a time when the porter's +lodge was open he left two to guard the gate, and he and the other +entered the convent in quest of Luscinda, whom they found in the +cloisters in conversation with one of the nuns, and carrying her off +without giving her time to resist, they reached a place with her where +they provided themselves with what they required for taking her away; all +which they were able to do in complete safety, as the convent was in the +country at a considerable distance from the city. He added that when +Luscinda found herself in his power she lost all consciousness, and after +returning to herself did nothing but weep and sigh without speaking a +word; and thus in silence and tears they reached that inn, which for him +was reaching heaven where all the mischances of earth are over and at an +end. + +Chapter XXXVII. - +In which is continued the story of the famous Princess Micomicona, with +other droll adventures + +To all this Sancho listened with no little sorrow at heart to see how his +hopes of dignity were fading away and vanishing in smoke, and how the +fair Princess Micomicona had turned into Dorothea, and the giant into Don +Fernando, while his master was sleeping tranquilly, totally unconscious +of all that had come to pass. Dorothea was unable to persuade herself +that her present happiness was not all a dream; Cardenio was in a similar +state of mind, and Luscinda's thoughts ran in the same direction. Don +Fernando gave thanks to Heaven for the favour shown to him and for having +been rescued from the intricate labyrinth in which he had been brought so +near the destruction of his good name and of his soul; and in short +everybody in the inn was full of contentment and satisfaction at the +happy issue of such a complicated and hopeless business. The curate as a +sensible man made sound reflections upon the whole affair, and +congratulated each upon his good fortune; but the one that was in the +highest spirits and good humour was the landlady, because of the promise +Cardenio and the curate had given her to pay for all the losses and +damage she had sustained through Don Quixote's means. Sancho, as has been +already said, was the only one who was distressed, unhappy, and dejected; +and so with a long face he went in to his master, who had just awoke, and +said to him: + +"Sir Rueful Countenance, your worship may as well sleep on as much as you +like, without troubling yourself about killing any giant or restoring her +kingdom to the princess; for that is all over and settled now." + +"I should think it was," replied Don Quixote, "for I have had the most +prodigious and stupendous battle with the giant that I ever remember +having had all the days of my life; and with one back-stroke-swish!--I +brought his head tumbling to the ground, and so much blood gushed forth +from him that it ran in rivulets over the earth like water." + +"Like red wine, your worship had better say," replied Sancho; "for I +would have you know, if you don't know it, that the dead giant is a +hacked wine-skin, and the blood four-and-twenty gallons of red wine that +it had in its belly, and the cut-off head is the bitch that bore me; and +the devil take it all." + +"What art thou talking about, fool?" said Don Quixote; "art thou in thy +senses?" + +"Let your worship get up," said Sancho, "and you will see the nice +business you have made of it, and what we have to pay; and you will see +the queen turned into a private lady called Dorothea, and other things +that will astonish you, if you understand them." + +"I shall not be surprised at anything of the kind," returned Don Quixote; +"for if thou dost remember the last time we were here I told thee that +everything that happened here was a matter of enchantment, and it would +be no wonder if it were the same now." + +"I could believe all that," replied Sancho, "if my blanketing was the +same sort of thing also; only it wasn't, but real and genuine; for I saw +the landlord, Who is here to-day, holding one end of the blanket and +jerking me up to the skies very neatly and smartly, and with as much +laughter as strength; and when it comes to be a case of knowing people, I +hold for my part, simple and sinner as I am, that there is no enchantment +about it at all, but a great deal of bruising and bad luck." + +"Well, well, God will give a remedy," said Don Quixote; "hand me my +clothes and let me go out, for I want to see these transformations and +things thou speakest of." + +Sancho fetched him his clothes; and while he was dressing, the curate +gave Don Fernando and the others present an account of Don Quixote's +madness and of the stratagem they had made use of to withdraw him from +that Pena Pobre where he fancied himself stationed because of his lady's +scorn. He described to them also nearly all the adventures that Sancho +had mentioned, at which they marvelled and laughed not a little, thinking +it, as all did, the strangest form of madness a crazy intellect could be +capable of. But now, the curate said, that the lady Dorothea's good +fortune prevented her from proceeding with their purpose, it would be +necessary to devise or discover some other way of getting him home. + +Cardenio proposed to carry out the scheme they had begun, and suggested +that Luscinda would act and support Dorothea's part sufficiently well. + +"No," said Don Fernando, "that must not be, for I want Dorothea to follow +out this idea of hers; and if the worthy gentleman's village is not very +far off, I shall be happy if I can do anything for his relief." + +"It is not more than two days' journey from this," said the curate. + +"Even if it were more," said Don Fernando, "I would gladly travel so far +for the sake of doing so good a work. + +"At this moment Don Quixote came out in full panoply, with Mambrino's +helmet, all dinted as it was, on his head, his buckler on his arm, and +leaning on his staff or pike. The strange figure he presented filled Don +Fernando and the rest with amazement as they contemplated his lean yellow +face half a league long, his armour of all sorts, and the solemnity of +his deportment. They stood silent waiting to see what he would say, and +he, fixing his eyes on the air Dorothea, addressed her with great gravity +and composure: + +"I am informed, fair lady, by my squire here that your greatness has been +annihilated and your being abolished, since, from a queen and lady of +high degree as you used to be, you have been turned into a private +maiden. If this has been done by the command of the magician king your +father, through fear that I should not afford you the aid you need and +are entitled to, I may tell you he did not know and does not know half +the mass, and was little versed in the annals of chivalry; for, if he had +read and gone through them as attentively and deliberately as I have, he +would have found at every turn that knights of less renown than mine have +accomplished things more difficult: it is no great matter to kill a whelp +of a giant, however arrogant he may be; for it is not many hours since I +myself was engaged with one, and-I will not speak of it, that they may +not say I am lying; time, however, that reveals all, will tell the tale +when we least expect it." + +"You were engaged with a couple of wine-skins, and not a giant," said the +landlord at this; but Don Fernando told him to hold his tongue and on no +account interrupt Don Quixote, who continued, "I say in conclusion, high +and disinherited lady, that if your father has brought about this +metamorphosis in your person for the reason I have mentioned, you ought +not to attach any importance to it; for there is no peril on earth +through which my sword will not force a way, and with it, before many +days are over, I will bring your enemy's head to the ground and place on +yours the crown of your kingdom." + +Don Quixote said no more, and waited for the reply of the princess, who +aware of Don Fernando's determination to carry on the deception until Don +Quixote had been conveyed to his home, with great ease of manner and +gravity made answer, "Whoever told you, valiant Knight of the Rueful +Countenance, that I had undergone any change or transformation did not +tell you the truth, for I am the same as I was yesterday. It is true that +certain strokes of good fortune, that have given me more than I could +have hoped for, have made some alteration in me; but I have not therefore +ceased to be what I was before, or to entertain the same desire I have +had all through of availing myself of the might of your valiant and +invincible arm. And so, senor, let your goodness reinstate the father +that begot me in your good opinion, and be assured that he was a wise and +prudent man, since by his craft he found out such a sure and easy way of +remedying my misfortune; for I believe, senor, that had it not been for +you I should never have lit upon the good fortune I now possess; and in +this I am saying what is perfectly true; as most of these gentlemen who +are present can fully testify. All that remains is to set out on our +journey to-morrow, for to-day we could not make much way; and for the +rest of the happy result I am looking forward to, I trust to God and the +valour of your heart." + +So said the sprightly Dorothea, and on hearing her Don Quixote turned to +Sancho, and said to him, with an angry air, "I declare now, little +Sancho, thou art the greatest little villain in Spain. Say, thief and +vagabond, hast thou not just now told me that this princess had been +turned into a maiden called Dorothea, and that the head which I am +persuaded I cut off from a giant was the bitch that bore thee, and other +nonsense that put me in the greatest perplexity I have ever been in all +my life? I vow" (and here he looked to heaven and ground his teeth) "I +have a mind to play the mischief with thee, in a way that will teach +sense for the future to all lying squires of knights-errant in the +world." + +"Let your worship be calm, senor," returned Sancho, "for it may well be +that I have been mistaken as to the change of the lady princess +Micomicona; but as to the giant's head, or at least as to the piercing of +the wine-skins, and the blood being red wine, I make no mistake, as sure +as there is a God; because the wounded skins are there at the head of +your worship's bed, and the wine has made a lake of the room; if not you +will see when the eggs come to be fried; I mean when his worship the +landlord calls for all the damages: for the rest, I am heartily glad that +her ladyship the queen is as she was, for it concerns me as much as +anyone." + +"I tell thee again, Sancho, thou art a fool," said Don Quixote; "forgive +me, and that will do." + +"That will do," said Don Fernando; "let us say no more about it; and as +her ladyship the princess proposes to set out to-morrow because it is too +late to-day, so be it, and we will pass the night in pleasant +conversation, and to-morrow we will all accompany Senor Don Quixote; for +we wish to witness the valiant and unparalleled achievements he is about +to perform in the course of this mighty enterprise which he has +undertaken." + +"It is I who shall wait upon and accompany you," said Don Quixote; "and I +am much gratified by the favour that is bestowed upon me, and the good +opinion entertained of me, which I shall strive to justify or it shall +cost me my life, or even more, if it can possibly cost me more." + +Many were the compliments and expressions of politeness that passed +between Don Quixote and Don Fernando; but they were brought to an end by +a traveller who at this moment entered the inn, and who seemed from his +attire to be a Christian lately come from the country of the Moors, for +he was dressed in a short-skirted coat of blue cloth with half-sleeves +and without a collar; his breeches were also of blue cloth, and his cap +of the same colour, and he wore yellow buskins and had a Moorish cutlass +slung from a baldric across his breast. Behind him, mounted upon an ass, +there came a woman dressed in Moorish fashion, with her face veiled and a +scarf on her head, and wearing a little brocaded cap, and a mantle that +covered her from her shoulders to her feet. The man was of a robust and +well-proportioned frame, in age a little over forty, rather swarthy in +complexion, with long moustaches and a full beard, and, in short, his +appearance was such that if he had been well dressed he would have been +taken for a person of quality and good birth. On entering he asked for a +room, and when they told him there was none in the inn he seemed +distressed, and approaching her who by her dress seemed to be a Moor he +her down from saddle in his arms. Luscinda, Dorothea, the landlady, her +daughter and Maritornes, attracted by the strange, and to them entirely +new costume, gathered round her; and Dorothea, who was always kindly, +courteous, and quick-witted, perceiving that both she and the man who had +brought her were annoyed at not finding a room, said to her, "Do not be +put out, senora, by the discomfort and want of luxuries here, for it is +the way of road-side inns to be without them; still, if you will be +pleased to share our lodging with us (pointing to Luscinda) perhaps you +will have found worse accommodation in the course of your journey." + +To this the veiled lady made no reply; all she did was to rise from her +seat, crossing her hands upon her bosom, bowing her head and bending her +body as a sign that she returned thanks. From her silence they concluded +that she must be a Moor and unable to speak a Christian tongue. + +At this moment the captive came up, having been until now otherwise +engaged, and seeing that they all stood round his companion and that she +made no reply to what they addressed to her, he said, "Ladies, this +damsel hardly understands my language and can speak none but that of her +own country, for which reason she does not and cannot answer what has +been asked of her." + +"Nothing has been asked of her," returned Luscinda; "she has only been +offered our company for this evening and a share of the quarters we +occupy, where she shall be made as comfortable as the circumstances +allow, with the good-will we are bound to show all strangers that stand +in need of it, especially if it be a woman to whom the service is +rendered." + +"On her part and my own, senora," replied the captive, "I kiss your +hands, and I esteem highly, as I ought, the favour you have offered, +which, on such an occasion and coming from persons of your appearance, +is, it is plain to see, a very great one." + +"Tell me, senor," said Dorothea, "is this lady a Christian or a Moor? for +her dress and her silence lead us to imagine that she is what we could +wish she was not." + +"In dress and outwardly," said he, "she is a Moor, but at heart she is a +thoroughly good Christian, for she has the greatest desire to become +one." + +"Then she has not been baptised?" returned Luscinda. + +"There has been no opportunity for that," replied the captive, "since she +left Algiers, her native country and home; and up to the present she has +not found herself in any such imminent danger of death as to make it +necessary to baptise her before she has been instructed in all the +ceremonies our holy mother Church ordains; but, please God, ere long she +shall be baptised with the solemnity befitting her which is higher than +her dress or mine indicates." + +By these words he excited a desire in all who heard him, to know who the +Moorish lady and the captive were, but no one liked to ask just then, +seeing that it was a fitter moment for helping them to rest themselves +than for questioning them about their lives. Dorothea took the Moorish +lady by the hand and leading her to a seat beside herself, requested her +to remove her veil. She looked at the captive as if to ask him what they +meant and what she was to do. He said to her in Arabic that they asked +her to take off her veil, and thereupon she removed it and disclosed a +countenance so lovely, that to Dorothea she seemed more beautiful than +Luscinda, and to Luscinda more beautiful than Dorothea, and all the +bystanders felt that if any beauty could compare with theirs it was the +Moorish lady's, and there were even those who were inclined to give it +somewhat the preference. And as it is the privilege and charm of beauty +to win the heart and secure good-will, all forthwith became eager to show +kindness and attention to the lovely Moor. + +Don Fernando asked the captive what her name was, and he replied that it +was Lela Zoraida; but the instant she heard him, she guessed what the +Christian had asked, and said hastily, with some displeasure and energy, +"No, not Zoraida; Maria, Maria!" giving them to understand that she was +called "Maria" and not "Zoraida." These words, and the touching +earnestness with which she uttered them, drew more than one tear from +some of the listeners, particularly the women, who are by nature +tender-hearted and compassionate. Luscinda embraced her affectionately, +saying, "Yes, yes, Maria, Maria," to which the Moor replied, "Yes, yes, +Maria; Zoraida macange," which means "not Zoraida." + +Night was now approaching, and by the orders of those who accompanied Don +Fernando the landlord had taken care and pains to prepare for them the +best supper that was in his power. The hour therefore having arrived they +all took their seats at a long table like a refectory one, for round or +square table there was none in the inn, and the seat of honour at the +head of it, though he was for refusing it, they assigned to Don Quixote, +who desired the lady Micomicona to place herself by his side, as he was +her protector. Luscinda and Zoraida took their places next her, opposite +to them were Don Fernando and Cardenio, and next the captive and the +other gentlemen, and by the side of the ladies, the curate and the +barber. And so they supped in high enjoyment, which was increased when +they observed Don Quixote leave off eating, and, moved by an impulse like +that which made him deliver himself at such length when he supped with +the goatherds, begin to address them: + +"Verily, gentlemen, if we reflect upon it, great and marvellous are the +things they see, who make profession of the order of knight-errantry. +Say, what being is there in this world, who entering the gate of this +castle at this moment, and seeing us as we are here, would suppose or +imagine us to be what we are? Who would say that this lady who is beside +me was the great queen that we all know her to be, or that I am that +Knight of the Rueful Countenance, trumpeted far and wide by the mouth of +Fame? Now, there can be no doubt that this art and calling surpasses all +those that mankind has invented, and is the more deserving of being held +in honour in proportion as it is the more exposed to peril. Away with +those who assert that letters have the preeminence over arms; I will tell +them, whosoever they may be, that they know not what they say. For the +reason which such persons commonly assign, and upon which they chiefly +rest, is, that the labours of the mind are greater than those of the +body, and that arms give employment to the body alone; as if the calling +were a porter's trade, for which nothing more is required than sturdy +strength; or as if, in what we who profess them call arms, there were not +included acts of vigour for the execution of which high intelligence is +requisite; or as if the soul of the warrior, when he has an army, or the +defence of a city under his care, did not exert itself as much by mind as +by body. Nay; see whether by bodily strength it be possible to learn or +divine the intentions of the enemy, his plans, stratagems, or obstacles, +or to ward off impending mischief; for all these are the work of the +mind, and in them the body has no share whatever. Since, therefore, arms +have need of the mind, as much as letters, let us see now which of the +two minds, that of the man of letters or that of the warrior, has most to +do; and this will be seen by the end and goal that each seeks to attain; +for that purpose is the more estimable which has for its aim the nobler +object. The end and goal of letters--I am not speaking now of divine +letters, the aim of which is to raise and direct the soul to Heaven; for +with an end so infinite no other can be compared--I speak of human +letters, the end of which is to establish distributive justice, give to +every man that which is his, and see and take care that good laws are +observed: an end undoubtedly noble, lofty, and deserving of high praise, +but not such as should be given to that sought by arms, which have for +their end and object peace, the greatest boon that men can desire in this +life. The first good news the world and mankind received was that which +the angels announced on the night that was our day, when they sang in the +air, 'Glory to God in the highest, and peace on earth to men of +good-will;' and the salutation which the great Master of heaven and earth +taught his disciples and chosen followers when they entered any house, +was to say, 'Peace be on this house;' and many other times he said to +them, 'My peace I give unto you, my peace I leave you, peace be with +you;' a jewel and a precious gift given and left by such a hand: a jewel +without which there can be no happiness either on earth or in heaven. +This peace is the true end of war; and war is only another name for arms. +This, then, being admitted, that the end of war is peace, and that so far +it has the advantage of the end of letters, let us turn to the bodily +labours of the man of letters, and those of him who follows the +profession of arms, and see which are the greater." + +Don Quixote delivered his discourse in such a manner and in such correct +language, that for the time being he made it impossible for any of his +hearers to consider him a madman; on the contrary, as they were mostly +gentlemen, to whom arms are an appurtenance by birth, they listened to +him with great pleasure as he continued: "Here, then, I say is what the +student has to undergo; first of all poverty: not that all are poor, but +to put the case as strongly as possible: and when I have said that he +endures poverty, I think nothing more need be said about his hard +fortune, for he who is poor has no share of the good things of life. This +poverty he suffers from in various ways, hunger, or cold, or nakedness, +or all together; but for all that it is not so extreme but that he gets +something to eat, though it may be at somewhat unseasonable hours and +from the leavings of the rich; for the greatest misery of the student is +what they themselves call 'going out for soup,' and there is always some +neighbour's brazier or hearth for them, which, if it does not warm, at +least tempers the cold to them, and lastly, they sleep comfortably at +night under a roof. I will not go into other particulars, as for example +want of shirts, and no superabundance of shoes, thin and threadbare +garments, and gorging themselves to surfeit in their voracity when good +luck has treated them to a banquet of some sort. By this road that I have +described, rough and hard, stumbling here, falling there, getting up +again to fall again, they reach the rank they desire, and that once +attained, we have seen many who have passed these Syrtes and Scyllas and +Charybdises, as if borne flying on the wings of favouring fortune; we +have seen them, I say, ruling and governing the world from a chair, their +hunger turned into satiety, their cold into comfort, their nakedness into +fine raiment, their sleep on a mat into repose in holland and damask, the +justly earned reward of their virtue; but, contrasted and compared with +what the warrior undergoes, all they have undergone falls far short of +it, as I am now about to show." + +Chapter XXXVIII. - +Which treats of the curious discourse Don Quixote delivered on arms and +letters + +Continuing his discourse Don Quixote said: "As we began in the student's +case with poverty and its accompaniments, let us see now if the soldier +is richer, and we shall find that in poverty itself there is no one +poorer; for he is dependent on his miserable pay, which comes late or +never, or else on what he can plunder, seriously imperilling his life and +conscience; and sometimes his nakedness will be so great that a slashed +doublet serves him for uniform and shirt, and in the depth of winter he +has to defend himself against the inclemency of the weather in the open +field with nothing better than the breath of his mouth, which I need not +say, coming from an empty place, must come out cold, contrary to the laws +of nature. To be sure he looks forward to the approach of night to make +up for all these discomforts on the bed that awaits him, which, unless by +some fault of his, never sins by being over narrow, for he can easily +measure out on the ground as he likes, and roll himself about in it to +his heart's content without any fear of the sheets slipping away from +him. Then, after all this, suppose the day and hour for taking his degree +in his calling to have come; suppose the day of battle to have arrived, +when they invest him with the doctor's cap made of lint, to mend some +bullet-hole, perhaps, that has gone through his temples, or left him with +a crippled arm or leg. Or if this does not happen, and merciful Heaven +watches over him and keeps him safe and sound, it may be he will be in +the same poverty he was in before, and he must go through more +engagements and more battles, and come victorious out of all before he +betters himself; but miracles of that sort are seldom seen. For tell me, +sirs, if you have ever reflected upon it, by how much do those who have +gained by war fall short of the number of those who have perished in it? +No doubt you will reply that there can be no comparison, that the dead +cannot be numbered, while the living who have been rewarded may be summed +up with three figures. All which is the reverse in the case of men of +letters; for by skirts, to say nothing of sleeves, they all find means of +support; so that though the soldier has more to endure, his reward is +much less. But against all this it may be urged that it is easier to +reward two thousand soldiers, for the former may be remunerated by giving +them places, which must perforce be conferred upon men of their calling, +while the latter can only be recompensed out of the very property of the +master they serve; but this impossibility only strengthens my argument. + +"Putting this, however, aside, for it is a puzzling question for which it +is difficult to find a solution, let us return to the superiority of arms +over letters, a matter still undecided, so many are the arguments put +forward on each side; for besides those I have mentioned, letters say +that without them arms cannot maintain themselves, for war, too, has its +laws and is governed by them, and laws belong to the domain of letters +and men of letters. To this arms make answer that without them laws +cannot be maintained, for by arms states are defended, kingdoms +preserved, cities protected, roads made safe, seas cleared of pirates; +and, in short, if it were not for them, states, kingdoms, monarchies, +cities, ways by sea and land would be exposed to the violence and +confusion which war brings with it, so long as it lasts and is free to +make use of its privileges and powers. And then it is plain that whatever +costs most is valued and deserves to be valued most. To attain to +eminence in letters costs a man time, watching, hunger, nakedness, +headaches, indigestions, and other things of the sort, some of which I +have already referred to. But for a man to come in the ordinary course of +things to be a good soldier costs him all the student suffers, and in an +incomparably higher degree, for at every step he runs the risk of losing +his life. For what dread of want or poverty that can reach or harass the +student can compare with what the soldier feels, who finds himself +beleaguered in some stronghold mounting guard in some ravelin or +cavalier, knows that the enemy is pushing a mine towards the post where +he is stationed, and cannot under any circumstances retire or fly from +the imminent danger that threatens him? All he can do is to inform his +captain of what is going on so that he may try to remedy it by a +counter-mine, and then stand his ground in fear and expectation of the +moment when he will fly up to the clouds without wings and descend into +the deep against his will. And if this seems a trifling risk, let us see +whether it is equalled or surpassed by the encounter of two galleys stem +to stem, in the midst of the open sea, locked and entangled one with the +other, when the soldier has no more standing room than two feet of the +plank of the spur; and yet, though he sees before him threatening him as +many ministers of death as there are cannon of the foe pointed at him, +not a lance length from his body, and sees too that with the first +heedless step he will go down to visit the profundities of Neptune's +bosom, still with dauntless heart, urged on by honour that nerves him, he +makes himself a target for all that musketry, and struggles to cross that +narrow path to the enemy's ship. And what is still more marvellous, no +sooner has one gone down into the depths he will never rise from till the +end of the world, than another takes his place; and if he too falls into +the sea that waits for him like an enemy, another and another will +succeed him without a moment's pause between their deaths: courage and +daring the greatest that all the chances of war can show. Happy the blest +ages that knew not the dread fury of those devilish engines of artillery, +whose inventor I am persuaded is in hell receiving the reward of his +diabolical invention, by which he made it easy for a base and cowardly +arm to take the life of a gallant gentleman; and that, when he knows not +how or whence, in the height of the ardour and enthusiasm that fire and +animate brave hearts, there should come some random bullet, discharged +perhaps by one who fled in terror at the flash when he fired off his +accursed machine, which in an instant puts an end to the projects and +cuts off the life of one who deserved to live for ages to come. And thus +when I reflect on this, I am almost tempted to say that in my heart I +repent of having adopted this profession of knight-errant in so +detestable an age as we live in now; for though no peril can make me +fear, still it gives me some uneasiness to think that powder and lead may +rob me of the opportunity of making myself famous and renowned throughout +the known earth by the might of my arm and the edge of my sword. But +Heaven's will be done; if I succeed in my attempt I shall be all the more +honoured, as I have faced greater dangers than the knights-errant of yore +exposed themselves to." + +All this lengthy discourse Don Quixote delivered while the others supped, +forgetting to raise a morsel to his lips, though Sancho more than once +told him to eat his supper, as he would have time enough afterwards to +say all he wanted. It excited fresh pity in those who had heard him to +see a man of apparently sound sense, and with rational views on every +subject he discussed, so hopelessly wanting in all, when his wretched +unlucky chivalry was in question. The curate told him he was quite right +in all he had said in favour of arms, and that he himself, though a man +of letters and a graduate, was of the same opinion. + +They finished their supper, the cloth was removed, and while the hostess, +her daughter, and Maritornes were getting Don Quixote of La Mancha's +garret ready, in which it was arranged that the women were to be +quartered by themselves for the night, Don Fernando begged the captive to +tell them the story of his life, for it could not fail to be strange and +interesting, to judge by the hints he had let fall on his arrival in +company with Zoraida. To this the captive replied that he would very +willingly yield to his request, only he feared his tale would not give +them as much pleasure as he wished; nevertheless, not to be wanting in +compliance, he would tell it. The curate and the others thanked him and +added their entreaties, and he finding himself so pressed said there was +no occasion ask, where a command had such weight, and added, "If your +worships will give me your attention you will hear a true story which, +perhaps, fictitious ones constructed with ingenious and studied art +cannot come up to." These words made them settle themselves in their +places and preserve a deep silence, and he seeing them waiting on his +words in mute expectation, began thus in a pleasant quiet voice. + +Chapter XXXIX. - +Wherein the captive relates his life and adventures + +My family had its origin in a village in the mountains of Leon, and +nature had been kinder and more generous to it than fortune; though in +the general poverty of those communities my father passed for being even +a rich man; and he would have been so in reality had he been as clever in +preserving his property as he was in spending it. This tendency of his to +be liberal and profuse he had acquired from having been a soldier in his +youth, for the soldier's life is a school in which the niggard becomes +free-handed and the free-handed prodigal; and if any soldiers are to be +found who are misers, they are monsters of rare occurrence. My father +went beyond liberality and bordered on prodigality, a disposition by no +means advantageous to a married man who has children to succeed to his +name and position. My father had three, all sons, and all of sufficient +age to make choice of a profession. Finding, then, that he was unable to +resist his propensity, he resolved to divest himself of the instrument +and cause of his prodigality and lavishness, to divest himself of wealth, +without which Alexander himself would have seemed parsimonious; and so +calling us all three aside one day into a room, he addressed us in words +somewhat to the following effect: + +"My sons, to assure you that I love you, no more need be known or said +than that you are my sons; and to encourage a suspicion that I do not +love you, no more is needed than the knowledge that I have no +self-control as far as preservation of your patrimony is concerned; +therefore, that you may for the future feel sure that I love you like a +father, and have no wish to ruin you like a stepfather, I propose to do +with you what I have for some time back meditated, and after mature +deliberation decided upon. You are now of an age to choose your line of +life or at least make choice of a calling that will bring you honour and +profit when you are older; and what I have resolved to do is to divide my +property into four parts; three I will give to you, to each his portion +without making any difference, and the other I will retain to live upon +and support myself for whatever remainder of life Heaven may be pleased +to grant me. But I wish each of you on taking possession of the share +that falls to him to follow one of the paths I shall indicate. In this +Spain of ours there is a proverb, to my mind very true--as they all are, +being short aphorisms drawn from long practical experience--and the one I +refer to says, 'The church, or the sea, or the king's house;' as much as +to say, in plainer language, whoever wants to flourish and become rich, +let him follow the church, or go to sea, adopting commerce as his +calling, or go into the king's service in his household, for they say, +'Better a king's crumb than a lord's favour.' I say so because it is my +will and pleasure that one of you should follow letters, another trade, +and the third serve the king in the wars, for it is a difficult matter to +gain admission to his service in his household, and if war does not bring +much wealth it confers great distinction and fame. Eight days hence I +will give you your full shares in money, without defrauding you of a +farthing, as you will see in the end. Now tell me if you are willing to +follow out my idea and advice as I have laid it before you." + +Having called upon me as the eldest to answer, I, after urging him not to +strip himself of his property but to spend it all as he pleased, for we +were young men able to gain our living, consented to comply with his +wishes, and said that mine were to follow the profession of arms and +thereby serve God and my king. My second brother having made the same +proposal, decided upon going to the Indies, embarking the portion that +fell to him in trade. The youngest, and in my opinion the wisest, said he +would rather follow the church, or go to complete his studies at +Salamanca. As soon as we had come to an understanding, and made choice of +our professions, my father embraced us all, and in the short time he +mentioned carried into effect all he had promised; and when he had given +to each his share, which as well as I remember was three thousand ducats +apiece in cash (for an uncle of ours bought the estate and paid for it +down, not to let it go out of the family), we all three on the same day +took leave of our good father; and at the same time, as it seemed to me +inhuman to leave my father with such scanty means in his old age, I +induced him to take two of my three thousand ducats, as the remainder +would be enough to provide me with all a soldier needed. My two brothers, +moved by my example, gave him each a thousand ducats, so that there was +left for my father four thousand ducats in money, besides three thousand, +the value of the portion that fell to him which he preferred to retain in +land instead of selling it. Finally, as I said, we took leave of him, and +of our uncle whom I have mentioned, not without sorrow and tears on both +sides, they charging us to let them know whenever an opportunity offered +how we fared, whether well or ill. We promised to do so, and when he had +embraced us and given us his blessing, one set out for Salamanca, the +other for Seville, and I for Alicante, where I had heard there was a +Genoese vessel taking in a cargo of wool for Genoa. + +It is now some twenty-two years since I left my father's house, and all +that time, though I have written several letters, I have had no news +whatever of him or of my brothers; my own adventures during that period I +will now relate briefly. I embarked at Alicante, reached Genoa after a +prosperous voyage, and proceeded thence to Milan, where I provided myself +with arms and a few soldier's accoutrements; thence it was my intention +to go and take service in Piedmont, but as I was already on the road to +Alessandria della Paglia, I learned that the great Duke of Alva was on +his way to Flanders. I changed my plans, joined him, served under him in +the campaigns he made, was present at the deaths of the Counts Egmont and +Horn, and was promoted to be ensign under a famous captain of +Guadalajara, Diego de Urbina by name. Some time after my arrival in +Flanders news came of the league that his Holiness Pope Pius V of happy +memory, had made with Venice and Spain against the common enemy, the +Turk, who had just then with his fleet taken the famous island of Cyprus, +which belonged to the Venetians, a loss deplorable and disastrous. It was +known as a fact that the Most Serene Don John of Austria, natural brother +of our good king Don Philip, was coming as commander-in-chief of the +allied forces, and rumours were abroad of the vast warlike preparations +which were being made, all which stirred my heart and filled me with a +longing to take part in the campaign which was expected; and though I had +reason to believe, and almost certain promises, that on the first +opportunity that presented itself I should be promoted to be captain, I +preferred to leave all and betake myself, as I did, to Italy; and it was +my good fortune that Don John had just arrived at Genoa, and was going on +to Naples to join the Venetian fleet, as he afterwards did at Messina. I +may say, in short, that I took part in that glorious expedition, promoted +by this time to be a captain of infantry, to which honourable charge my +good luck rather than my merits raised me; and that day--so fortunate for +Christendom, because then all the nations of the earth were disabused of +the error under which they lay in imagining the Turks to be invincible on +sea-on that day, I say, on which the Ottoman pride and arrogance were +broken, among all that were there made happy (for the Christians who died +that day were happier than those who remained alive and victorious) I +alone was miserable; for, instead of some naval crown that I might have +expected had it been in Roman times, on the night that followed that +famous day I found myself with fetters on my feet and manacles on my +hands. + +It happened in this way: El Uchali, the king of Algiers, a daring and +successful corsair, having attacked and taken the leading Maltese galley +(only three knights being left alive in it, and they badly wounded), the +chief galley of John Andrea, on board of which I and my company were +placed, came to its relief, and doing as was bound to do in such a case, +I leaped on board the enemy's galley, which, sheering off from that which +had attacked it, prevented my men from following me, and so I found +myself alone in the midst of my enemies, who were in such numbers that I +was unable to resist; in short I was taken, covered with wounds; El +Uchali, as you know, sirs, made his escape with his entire squadron, and +I was left a prisoner in his power, the only sad being among so many +filled with joy, and the only captive among so many free; for there were +fifteen thousand Christians, all at the oar in the Turkish fleet, that +regained their longed-for liberty that day. + +They carried me to Constantinople, where the Grand Turk, Selim, made my +master general at sea for having done his duty in the battle and carried +off as evidence of his bravery the standard of the Order of Malta. The +following year, which was the year seventy-two, I found myself at +Navarino rowing in the leading galley with the three lanterns. There I +saw and observed how the opportunity of capturing the whole Turkish fleet +in harbour was lost; for all the marines and janizzaries that belonged to +it made sure that they were about to be attacked inside the very harbour, +and had their kits and pasamaques, or shoes, ready to flee at once on +shore without waiting to be assailed, in so great fear did they stand of +our fleet. But Heaven ordered it otherwise, not for any fault or neglect +of the general who commanded on our side, but for the sins of +Christendom, and because it was God's will and pleasure that we should +always have instruments of punishment to chastise us. As it was, El +Uchali took refuge at Modon, which is an island near Navarino, and +landing forces fortified the mouth of the harbour and waited quietly +until Don John retired. On this expedition was taken the galley called +the Prize, whose captain was a son of the famous corsair Barbarossa. It +was taken by the chief Neapolitan galley called the She-wolf, commanded +by that thunderbolt of war, that father of his men, that successful and +unconquered captain Don Alvaro de Bazan, Marquis of Santa Cruz; and I +cannot help telling you what took place at the capture of the Prize. + +The son of Barbarossa was so cruel, and treated his slaves so badly, +that, when those who were at the oars saw that the She-wolf galley was +bearing down upon them and gaining upon them, they all at once dropped +their oars and seized their captain who stood on the stage at the end of +the gangway shouting to them to row lustily; and passing him on from +bench to bench, from the poop to the prow, they so bit him that before he +had got much past the mast his soul had already got to hell; so great, as +I said, was the cruelty with which he treated them, and the hatred with +which they hated him. + +We returned to Constantinople, and the following year, seventy-three, it +became known that Don John had seized Tunis and taken the kingdom from +the Turks, and placed Muley Hamet in possession, putting an end to the +hopes which Muley Hamida, the cruelest and bravest Moor in the world, +entertained of returning to reign there. The Grand Turk took the loss +greatly to heart, and with the cunning which all his race possess, he +made peace with the Venetians (who were much more eager for it than he +was), and the following year, seventy-four, he attacked the Goletta and +the fort which Don John had left half built near Tunis. While all these +events were occurring, I was labouring at the oar without any hope of +freedom; at least I had no hope of obtaining it by ransom, for I was +firmly resolved not to write to my father telling him of my misfortunes. +At length the Goletta fell, and the fort fell, before which places there +were seventy-five thousand regular Turkish soldiers, and more than four +hundred thousand Moors and Arabs from all parts of Africa, and in the +train of all this great host such munitions and engines of war, and so +many pioneers that with their hands they might have covered the Goletta +and the fort with handfuls of earth. The first to fall was the Goletta, +until then reckoned impregnable, and it fell, not by any fault of its +defenders, who did all that they could and should have done, but because +experiment proved how easily entrenchments could be made in the desert +sand there; for water used to be found at two palms depth, while the +Turks found none at two yards; and so by means of a quantity of sandbags +they raised their works so high that they commanded the walls of the +fort, sweeping them as if from a cavalier, so that no one was able to +make a stand or maintain the defence. + +It was a common opinion that our men should not have shut themselves up +in the Goletta, but should have waited in the open at the landing-place; +but those who say so talk at random and with little knowledge of such +matters; for if in the Goletta and in the fort there were barely seven +thousand soldiers, how could such a small number, however resolute, sally +out and hold their own against numbers like those of the enemy? And how +is it possible to help losing a stronghold that is not relieved, above +all when surrounded by a host of determined enemies in their own country? +But many thought, and I thought so too, that it was special favour and +mercy which Heaven showed to Spain in permitting the destruction of that +source and hiding place of mischief, that devourer, sponge, and moth of +countless money, fruitlessly wasted there to no other purpose save +preserving the memory of its capture by the invincible Charles V; as if +to make that eternal, as it is and will be, these stones were needed to +support it. The fort also fell; but the Turks had to win it inch by inch, +for the soldiers who defended it fought so gallantly and stoutly that the +number of the enemy killed in twenty-two general assaults exceeded +twenty-five thousand. Of three hundred that remained alive not one was +taken unwounded, a clear and manifest proof of their gallantry and +resolution, and how sturdily they had defended themselves and held their +post. A small fort or tower which was in the middle of the lagoon under +the command of Don Juan Zanoguera, a Valencian gentleman and a famous +soldier, capitulated upon terms. They took prisoner Don Pedro +Puertocarrero, commandant of the Goletta, who had done all in his power +to defend his fortress, and took the loss of it so much to heart that he +died of grief on the way to Constantinople, where they were carrying him +a prisoner. They also took the commandant of the fort, Gabrio Cerbellon +by name, a Milanese gentleman, a great engineer and a very brave soldier. +In these two fortresses perished many persons of note, among whom was +Pagano Doria, knight of the Order of St. John, a man of generous +disposition, as was shown by his extreme liberality to his brother, the +famous John Andrea Doria; and what made his death the more sad was that +he was slain by some Arabs to whom, seeing that the fort was now lost, he +entrusted himself, and who offered to conduct him in the disguise of a +Moor to Tabarca, a small fort or station on the coast held by the Genoese +employed in the coral fishery. These Arabs cut off his head and carried +it to the commander of the Turkish fleet, who proved on them the truth of +our Castilian proverb, that "though the treason may please, the traitor +is hated;" for they say he ordered those who brought him the present to +be hanged for not having brought him alive. + +Among the Christians who were taken in the fort was one named Don Pedro +de Aguilar, a native of some place, I know not what, in Andalusia, who +had been ensign in the fort, a soldier of great repute and rare +intelligence, who had in particular a special gift for what they call +poetry. I say so because his fate brought him to my galley and to my +bench, and made him a slave to the same master; and before we left the +port this gentleman composed two sonnets by way of epitaphs, one on the +Goletta and the other on the fort; indeed, I may as well repeat them, for +I have them by heart, and I think they will be liked rather than +disliked. + +The instant the captive mentioned the name of Don Pedro de Aguilar, Don +Fernando looked at his companions and they all three smiled; and when he +came to speak of the sonnets one of them said, "Before your worship +proceeds any further I entreat you to tell me what became of that Don +Pedro de Aguilar you have spoken of." + +"All I know is," replied the captive, "that after having been in +Constantinople two years, he escaped in the disguise of an Arnaut, in +company with a Greek spy; but whether he regained his liberty or not I +cannot tell, though I fancy he did, because a year afterwards I saw the +Greek at Constantinople, though I was unable to ask him what the result +of the journey was." + +"Well then, you are right," returned the gentleman, "for that Don Pedro +is my brother, and he is now in our village in good health, rich, +married, and with three children." + +"Thanks be to God for all the mercies he has shown him," said the +captive; "for to my mind there is no happiness on earth to compare with +recovering lost liberty." + +"And what is more," said the gentleman, "I know the sonnets my brother +made." + +"Then let your worship repeat them," said the captive, "for you will +recite them better than I can." + +"With all my heart," said the gentleman; "that on the Goletta runs thus." + +Chapter XL. - +In which the story of the captive is continued. + +poem{ + +SONNET + +"Blest souls, that, from this mortal husk set free, + In guerdon of brave deeds beatified, + Above this lowly orb of ours abide +Made heirs of heaven and immortality, +With noble rage and ardour glowing ye + Your strength, while strength was yours, in battle plied, + And with your own blood and the foeman's dyed +The sandy soil and the encircling sea. +It was the ebbing life-blood first that failed +The weary arms; the stout hearts never quailed. + Though vanquished, yet ye earned the victor's crown: +Though mourned, yet still triumphant was your fall +For there ye won, between the sword and wall, + In Heaven glory and on earth renown." + +}poem + +"That is it exactly, according to my recollection," said the captive. + +"Well then, that on the fort," said the gentleman, "if my memory serves +me, goes thus: + +poem{ + +SONNET + +"Up from this wasted soil, this shattered shell, + Whose walls and towers here in ruin lie, + Three thousand soldier souls took wing on high, +In the bright mansions of the blest to dwell. +The onslaught of the foeman to repel + By might of arm all vainly did they try, + And when at length 'twas left them but to die, +Wearied and few the last defenders fell. +And this same arid soil hath ever been +A haunt of countless mournful memories, + As well in our day as in days of yore. +But never yet to Heaven it sent, I ween, +From its hard bosom purer souls than these, + Or braver bodies on its surface bore." + +}poem + +The sonnets were not disliked, and the captive was rejoiced at the +tidings they gave him of his comrade, and continuing his tale, he went on +to say: + +The Goletta and the fort being thus in their hands, the Turks gave orders +to dismantle the Goletta--for the fort was reduced to such a state that +there was nothing left to level--and to do the work more quickly and +easily they mined it in three places; but nowhere were they able to blow +up the part which seemed to be the least strong, that is to say, the old +walls, while all that remained standing of the new fortifications that +the Fratin had made came to the ground with the greatest ease. Finally +the fleet returned victorious and triumphant to Constantinople, and a few +months later died my master, El Uchali, otherwise Uchali Fartax, which +means in Turkish "the scabby renegade;" for that he was; it is the +practice with the Turks to name people from some defect or virtue they +may possess; the reason being that there are among them only four +surnames belonging to families tracing their descent from the Ottoman +house, and the others, as I have said, take their names and surnames +either from bodily blemishes or moral qualities. This "scabby one" rowed +at the oar as a slave of the Grand Signor's for fourteen years, and when +over thirty-four years of age, in resentment at having been struck by a +Turk while at the oar, turned renegade and renounced his faith in order +to be able to revenge himself; and such was his valour that, without +owing his advancement to the base ways and means by which most favourites +of the Grand Signor rise to power, he came to be king of Algiers, and +afterwards general-on-sea, which is the third place of trust in the +realm. He was a Calabrian by birth, and a worthy man morally, and he +treated his slaves with great humanity. He had three thousand of them, +and after his death they were divided, as he directed by his will, +between the Grand Signor (who is heir of all who die and shares with the +children of the deceased) and his renegades. I fell to the lot of a +Venetian renegade who, when a cabin boy on board a ship, had been taken +by Uchali and was so much beloved by him that he became one of his most +favoured youths. He came to be the most cruel renegade I ever saw: his +name was Hassan Aga, and he grew very rich and became king of Algiers. +With him I went there from Constantinople, rather glad to be so near +Spain, not that I intended to write to anyone about my unhappy lot, but +to try if fortune would be kinder to me in Algiers than in +Constantinople, where I had attempted in a thousand ways to escape +without ever finding a favourable time or chance; but in Algiers I +resolved to seek for other means of effecting the purpose I cherished so +dearly; for the hope of obtaining my liberty never deserted me; and when +in my plots and schemes and attempts the result did not answer my +expectations, without giving way to despair I immediately began to look +out for or conjure up some new hope to support me, however faint or +feeble it might be. + +In this way I lived on immured in a building or prison called by the +Turks a bano in which they confine the Christian captives, as well those +that are the king's as those belonging to private individuals, and also +what they call those of the Almacen, which is as much as to say the +slaves of the municipality, who serve the city in the public works and +other employments; but captives of this kind recover their liberty with +great difficulty, for, as they are public property and have no particular +master, there is no one with whom to treat for their ransom, even though +they may have the means. To these banos, as I have said, some private +individuals of the town are in the habit of bringing their captives, +especially when they are to be ransomed; because there they can keep them +in safety and comfort until their ransom arrives. The king's captives +also, that are on ransom, do not go out to work with the rest of the +crew, unless when their ransom is delayed; for then, to make them write +for it more pressingly, they compel them to work and go for wood, which +is no light labour. + +I, however, was one of those on ransom, for when it was discovered that I +was a captain, although I declared my scanty means and want of fortune, +nothing could dissuade them from including me among the gentlemen and +those waiting to be ransomed. They put a chain on me, more as a mark of +this than to keep me safe, and so I passed my life in that bano with +several other gentlemen and persons of quality marked out as held to +ransom; but though at times, or rather almost always, we suffered from +hunger and scanty clothing, nothing distressed us so much as hearing and +seeing at every turn the unexampled and unheard-of cruelties my master +inflicted upon the Christians. Every day he hanged a man, impaled one, +cut off the ears of another; and all with so little provocation, or so +entirely without any, that the Turks acknowledged he did it merely for +the sake of doing it, and because he was by nature murderously disposed +towards the whole human race. The only one that fared at all well with +him was a Spanish soldier, something de Saavedra by name, to whom he +never gave a blow himself, or ordered a blow to be given, or addressed a +hard word, although he had done things that will dwell in the memory of +the people there for many a year, and all to recover his liberty; and for +the least of the many things he did we all dreaded that he would be +impaled, and he himself was in fear of it more than once; and only that +time does not allow, I could tell you now something of what that soldier +did, that would interest and astonish you much more than the narration of +my own tale. + +To go on with my story; the courtyard of our prison was overlooked by the +windows of the house belonging to a wealthy Moor of high position; and +these, as is usual in Moorish houses, were rather loopholes than windows, +and besides were covered with thick and close lattice-work. It so +happened, then, that as I was one day on the terrace of our prison with +three other comrades, trying, to pass away the time, how far we could +leap with our chains, we being alone, for all the other Christians had +gone out to work, I chanced to raise my eyes, and from one of these +little closed windows I saw a reed appear with a cloth attached to the +end of it, and it kept waving to and fro, and moving as if making signs +to us to come and take it. We watched it, and one of those who were with +me went and stood under the reed to see whether they would let it drop, +or what they would do, but as he did so the reed was raised and moved +from side to side, as if they meant to say "no" by a shake of the head. +The Christian came back, and it was again lowered, making the same +movements as before. Another of my comrades went, and with him the same +happened as with the first, and then the third went forward, but with the +same result as the first and second. Seeing this I did not like not to +try my luck, and as soon as I came under the reed it was dropped and fell +inside the bano at my feet. I hastened to untie the cloth, in which I +perceived a knot, and in this were ten cianis, which are coins of base +gold, current among the Moors, and each worth ten reals of our money. + +It is needless to say I rejoiced over this godsend, and my joy was not +less than my wonder as I strove to imagine how this good fortune could +have come to us, but to me specially; for the evident unwillingness to +drop the reed for any but me showed that it was for me the favour was +intended. I took my welcome money, broke the reed, and returned to the +terrace, and looking up at the window, I saw a very white hand put out +that opened and shut very quickly. From this we gathered or fancied that +it must be some woman living in that house that had done us this +kindness, and to show that we were grateful for it, we made salaams after +the fashion of the Moors, bowing the head, bending the body, and crossing +the arms on the breast. Shortly afterwards at the same window a small +cross made of reeds was put out and immediately withdrawn. This sign led +us to believe that some Christian woman was a captive in the house, and +that it was she who had been so good to us; but the whiteness of the hand +and the bracelets we had perceived made us dismiss that idea, though we +thought it might be one of the Christian renegades whom their masters +very often take as lawful wives, and gladly, for they prefer them to the +women of their own nation. In all our conjectures we were wide of the +truth; so from that time forward our sole occupation was watching and +gazing at the window where the cross had appeared to us, as if it were +our pole-star; but at least fifteen days passed without our seeing either +it or the hand, or any other sign and though meanwhile we endeavoured +with the utmost pains to ascertain who it was that lived in the house, +and whether there were any Christian renegade in it, nobody could ever +tell us anything more than that he who lived there was a rich Moor of +high position, Hadji Morato by name, formerly alcaide of La Pata, an +office of high dignity among them. But when we least thought it was going +to rain any more cianis from that quarter, we saw the reed suddenly +appear with another cloth tied in a larger knot attached to it, and this +at a time when, as on the former occasion, the bano was deserted and +unoccupied. + +We made trial as before, each of the same three going forward before I +did; but the reed was delivered to none but me, and on my approach it was +let drop. I untied the knot and I found forty Spanish gold crowns with a +paper written in Arabic, and at the end of the writing there was a large +cross drawn. I kissed the cross, took the crowns and returned to the +terrace, and we all made our salaams; again the hand appeared, I made +signs that I would read the paper, and then the window was closed. We +were all puzzled, though filled with joy at what had taken place; and as +none of us understood Arabic, great was our curiosity to know what the +paper contained, and still greater the difficulty of finding some one to +read it. At last I resolved to confide in a renegade, a native of Murcia, +who professed a very great friendship for me, and had given pledges that +bound him to keep any secret I might entrust to him; for it is the custom +with some renegades, when they intend to return to Christian territory, +to carry about them certificates from captives of mark testifying, in +whatever form they can, that such and such a renegade is a worthy man who +has always shown kindness to Christians, and is anxious to escape on the +first opportunity that may present itself. Some obtain these testimonials +with good intentions, others put them to a cunning use; for when they go +to pillage on Christian territory, if they chance to be cast away, or +taken prisoners, they produce their certificates and say that from these +papers may be seen the object they came for, which was to remain on +Christian ground, and that it was to this end they joined the Turks in +their foray. In this way they escape the consequences of the first +outburst and make their peace with the Church before it does them any +harm, and then when they have the chance they return to Barbary to become +what they were before. Others, however, there are who procure these +papers and make use of them honestly, and remain on Christian soil. This +friend of mine, then, was one of these renegades that I have described; +he had certificates from all our comrades, in which we testified in his +favour as strongly as we could; and if the Moors had found the papers +they would have burned him alive. + +I knew that he understood Arabic very well, and could not only speak but +also write it; but before I disclosed the whole matter to him, I asked +him to read for me this paper which I had found by accident in a hole in +my cell. He opened it and remained some time examining it and muttering +to himself as he translated it. I asked him if he understood it, and he +told me he did perfectly well, and that if I wished him to tell me its +meaning word for word, I must give him pen and ink that he might do it +more satisfactorily. We at once gave him what he required, and he set +about translating it bit by bit, and when he had done he said: + +"All that is here in Spanish is what the Moorish paper contains, and you +must bear in mind that when it says 'Lela Marien' it means 'Our Lady the +Virgin Mary.'" + +We read the paper and it ran thus: + +"When I was a child my father had a slave who taught me to pray the +Christian prayer in my own language, and told me many things about Lela +Marien. The Christian died, and I know that she did not go to the fire, +but to Allah, because since then I have seen her twice, and she told me +to go to the land of the Christians to see Lela Marien, who had great +love for me. I know not how to go. I have seen many Christians, but +except thyself none has seemed to me to be a gentleman. I am young and +beautiful, and have plenty of money to take with me. See if thou canst +contrive how we may go, and if thou wilt thou shalt be my husband there, +and if thou wilt not it will not distress me, for Lela Marien will find +me some one to marry me. I myself have written this: have a care to whom +thou givest it to read: trust no Moor, for they are all perfidious. I am +greatly troubled on this account, for I would not have thee confide in +anyone, because if my father knew it he would at once fling me down a +well and cover me with stones. I will put a thread to the reed; tie the +answer to it, and if thou hast no one to write for thee in Arabic, tell +it to me by signs, for Lela Marien will make me understand thee. She and +Allah and this cross, which I often kiss as the captive bade me, protect +thee." + +Judge, sirs, whether we had reason for surprise and joy at the words of +this paper; and both one and the other were so great, that the renegade +perceived that the paper had not been found by chance, but had been in +reality addressed to some one of us, and he begged us, if what he +suspected were the truth, to trust him and tell him all, for he would +risk his life for our freedom; and so saying he took out from his breast +a metal crucifix, and with many tears swore by the God the image +represented, in whom, sinful and wicked as he was, he truly and +faithfully believed, to be loyal to us and keep secret whatever we chose +to reveal to him; for he thought and almost foresaw that by means of her +who had written that paper, he and all of us would obtain our liberty, +and he himself obtain the object he so much desired, his restoration to +the bosom of the Holy Mother Church, from which by his own sin and +ignorance he was now severed like a corrupt limb. The renegade said this +with so many tears and such signs of repentance, that with one consent we +all agreed to tell him the whole truth of the matter, and so we gave him +a full account of all, without hiding anything from him. We pointed out +to him the window at which the reed appeared, and he by that means took +note of the house, and resolved to ascertain with particular care who +lived in it. We agreed also that it would be advisable to answer the +Moorish lady's letter, and the renegade without a moment's delay took +down the words I dictated to him, which were exactly what I shall tell +you, for nothing of importance that took place in this affair has escaped +my memory, or ever will while life lasts. This, then, was the answer +returned to the Moorish lady: + +"The true Allah protect thee, Lady, and that blessed Marien who is the +true mother of God, and who has put it into thy heart to go to the land +of the Christians, because she loves thee. Entreat her that she be +pleased to show thee how thou canst execute the command she gives thee, +for she will, such is her goodness. On my own part, and on that of all +these Christians who are with me, I promise to do all that we can for +thee, even to death. Fail not to write to me and inform me what thou dost +mean to do, and I will always answer thee; for the great Allah has given +us a Christian captive who can speak and write thy language well, as thou +mayest see by this paper; without fear, therefore, thou canst inform us +of all thou wouldst. As to what thou sayest, that if thou dost reach the +land of the Christians thou wilt be my wife, I give thee my promise upon +it as a good Christian; and know that the Christians keep their promises +better than the Moors. Allah and Marien his mother watch over thee, my +Lady." + +The paper being written and folded I waited two days until the bano was +empty as before, and immediately repaired to the usual walk on the +terrace to see if there were any sign of the reed, which was not long in +making its appearance. As soon as I saw it, although I could not +distinguish who put it out, I showed the paper as a sign to attach the +thread, but it was already fixed to the reed, and to it I tied the paper; +and shortly afterwards our star once more made its appearance with the +white flag of peace, the little bundle. It was dropped, and I picked it +up, and found in the cloth, in gold and silver coins of all sorts, more +than fifty crowns, which fifty times more strengthened our joy and +doubled our hope of gaining our liberty. That very night our renegade +returned and said he had learned that the Moor we had been told of lived +in that house, that his name was Hadji Morato, that he was enormously +rich, that he had one only daughter the heiress of all his wealth, and +that it was the general opinion throughout the city that she was the most +beautiful woman in Barbary, and that several of the viceroys who came +there had sought her for a wife, but that she had been always unwilling +to marry; and he had learned, moreover, that she had a Christian slave +who was now dead; all which agreed with the contents of the paper. We +immediately took counsel with the renegade as to what means would have to +be adopted in order to carry off the Moorish lady and bring us all to +Christian territory; and in the end it was agreed that for the present we +should wait for a second communication from Zoraida (for that was the +name of her who now desires to be called Maria), because we saw clearly +that she and no one else could find a way out of all these difficulties. +When we had decided upon this the renegade told us not to be uneasy, for +he would lose his life or restore us to liberty. For four days the bano +was filled with people, for which reason the reed delayed its appearance +for four days, but at the end of that time, when the bano was, as it +generally was, empty, it appeared with the cloth so bulky that it +promised a happy birth. Reed and cloth came down to me, and I found +another paper and a hundred crowns in gold, without any other coin. The +renegade was present, and in our cell we gave him the paper to read, +which was to this effect: + +"I cannot think of a plan, senor, for our going to Spain, nor has Lela +Marien shown me one, though I have asked her. All that can be done is for +me to give you plenty of money in gold from this window. With it ransom +yourself and your friends, and let one of you go to the land of the +Christians, and there buy a vessel and come back for the others; and he +will find me in my father's garden, which is at the Babazon gate near the +seashore, where I shall be all this summer with my father and my +servants. You can carry me away from there by night without any danger, +and bring me to the vessel. And remember thou art to be my husband, else +I will pray to Marien to punish thee. If thou canst not trust anyone to +go for the vessel, ransom thyself and do thou go, for I know thou wilt +return more surely than any other, as thou art a gentleman and a +Christian. Endeavour to make thyself acquainted with the garden; and when +I see thee walking yonder I shall know that the bano is empty and I will +give thee abundance of money. Allah protect thee, senor." + +These were the words and contents of the second paper, and on hearing +them, each declared himself willing to be the ransomed one, and promised +to go and return with scrupulous good faith; and I too made the same +offer; but to all this the renegade objected, saying that he would not on +any account consent to one being set free before all went together, as +experience had taught him how ill those who have been set free keep +promises which they made in captivity; for captives of distinction +frequently had recourse to this plan, paying the ransom of one who was to +go to Valencia or Majorca with money to enable him to arm a bark and +return for the others who had ransomed him, but who never came back; for +recovered liberty and the dread of losing it again efface from the memory +all the obligations in the world. And to prove the truth of what he said, +he told us briefly what had happened to a certain Christian gentleman +almost at that very time, the strangest case that had ever occurred even +there, where astonishing and marvellous things are happening every +instant. In short, he ended by saying that what could and ought to be +done was to give the money intended for the ransom of one of us +Christians to him, so that he might with it buy a vessel there in Algiers +under the pretence of becoming a merchant and trader at Tetuan and along +the coast; and when master of the vessel, it would be easy for him to hit +on some way of getting us all out of the bano and putting us on board; +especially if the Moorish lady gave, as she said, money enough to ransom +all, because once free it would be the easiest thing in the world for us +to embark even in open day; but the greatest difficulty was that the +Moors do not allow any renegade to buy or own any craft, unless it be a +large vessel for going on roving expeditions, because they are afraid +that anyone who buys a small vessel, especially if he be a Spaniard, only +wants it for the purpose of escaping to Christian territory. This however +he could get over by arranging with a Tagarin Moor to go shares with him +in the purchase of the vessel, and in the profit on the cargo; and under +cover of this he could become master of the vessel, in which case he +looked upon all the rest as accomplished. But though to me and my +comrades it had seemed a better plan to send to Majorca for the vessel, +as the Moorish lady suggested, we did not dare to oppose him, fearing +that if we did not do as he said he would denounce us, and place us in +danger of losing all our lives if he were to disclose our dealings with +Zoraida, for whose life we would have all given our own. We therefore +resolved to put ourselves in the hands of God and in the renegade's; and +at the same time an answer was given to Zoraida, telling her that we +would do all she recommended, for she had given as good advice as if Lela +Marien had delivered it, and that it depended on her alone whether we +were to defer the business or put it in execution at once. I renewed my +promise to be her husband; and thus the next day that the bano chanced to +be empty she at different times gave us by means of the reed and cloth +two thousand gold crowns and a paper in which she said that the next +Juma, that is to say Friday, she was going to her father's garden, but +that before she went she would give us more money; and if it were not +enough we were to let her know, as she would give us as much as we asked, +for her father had so much he would not miss it, and besides she kept all +the keys. + +We at once gave the renegade five hundred crowns to buy the vessel, and +with eight hundred I ransomed myself, giving the money to a Valencian +merchant who happened to be in Algiers at the time, and who had me +released on his word, pledging it that on the arrival of the first ship +from Valencia he would pay my ransom; for if he had given the money at +once it would have made the king suspect that my ransom money had been +for a long time in Algiers, and that the merchant had for his own +advantage kept it secret. In fact my master was so difficult to deal with +that I dared not on any account pay down the money at once. The Thursday +before the Friday on which the fair Zoraida was to go to the garden she +gave us a thousand crowns more, and warned us of her departure, begging +me, if I were ransomed, to find out her father's garden at once, and by +all means to seek an opportunity of going there to see her. I answered in +a few words that I would do so, and that she must remember to commend us +to Lela Marien with all the prayers the captive had taught her. This +having been done, steps were taken to ransom our three comrades, so as to +enable them to quit the bano, and lest, seeing me ransomed and themselves +not, though the money was forthcoming, they should make a disturbance +about it and the devil should prompt them to do something that might +injure Zoraida; for though their position might be sufficient to relieve +me from this apprehension, nevertheless I was unwilling to run any risk +in the matter; and so I had them ransomed in the same way as I was, +handing over all the money to the merchant so that he might with safety +and confidence give security; without, however, confiding our arrangement +and secret to him, which might have been dangerous. + +Chapter XLI. - +In which the captive still continues his adventures + +Before fifteen days were over our renegade had already purchased an +excellent vessel with room for more than thirty persons; and to make the +transaction safe and lend a colour to it, he thought it well to make, as +he did, a voyage to a place called Shershel, twenty leagues from Algiers +on the Oran side, where there is an extensive trade in dried figs. Two or +three times he made this voyage in company with the Tagarin already +mentioned. The Moors of Aragon are called Tagarins in Barbary, and those +of Granada Mudejars; but in the Kingdom of Fez they call the Mudejars +Elches, and they are the people the king chiefly employs in war. To +proceed: every time he passed with his vessel he anchored in a cove that +was not two crossbow shots from the garden where Zoraida was waiting; and +there the renegade, together with the two Moorish lads that rowed, used +purposely to station himself, either going through his prayers, or else +practising as a part what he meant to perform in earnest. And thus he +would go to Zoraida's garden and ask for fruit, which her father gave +him, not knowing him; but though, as he afterwards told me, he sought to +speak to Zoraida, and tell her who he was, and that by my orders he was +to take her to the land of the Christians, so that she might feel +satisfied and easy, he had never been able to do so; for the Moorish +women do not allow themselves to be seen by any Moor or Turk, unless +their husband or father bid them: with Christian captives they permit +freedom of intercourse and communication, even more than might be +considered proper. But for my part I should have been sorry if he had +spoken to her, for perhaps it might have alarmed her to find her affairs +talked of by renegades. But God, who ordered it otherwise, afforded no +opportunity for our renegade's well-meant purpose; and he, seeing how +safely he could go to Shershel and return, and anchor when and how and +where he liked, and that the Tagarin his partner had no will but his, and +that, now I was ransomed, all we wanted was to find some Christians to +row, told me to look out for any I should be willing to take with me, +over and above those who had been ransomed, and to engage them for the +next Friday, which he fixed upon for our departure. On this I spoke to +twelve Spaniards, all stout rowers, and such as could most easily leave +the city; but it was no easy matter to find so many just then, because +there were twenty ships out on a cruise and they had taken all the rowers +with them; and these would not have been found were it not that their +master remained at home that summer without going to sea in order to +finish a galliot that he had upon the stocks. To these men I said nothing +more than that the next Friday in the evening they were to come out +stealthily one by one and hang about Hadji Morato's garden, waiting for +me there until I came. These directions I gave each one separately, with +orders that if they saw any other Christians there they were not to say +anything to them except that I had directed them to wait at that spot. + +This preliminary having been settled, another still more necessary step +had to be taken, which was to let Zoraida know how matters stood that she +might be prepared and forewarned, so as not to be taken by surprise if we +were suddenly to seize upon her before she thought the Christians' vessel +could have returned. I determined, therefore, to go to the garden and try +if I could speak to her; and the day before my departure I went there +under the pretence of gathering herbs. The first person I met was her +father, who addressed me in the language that all over Barbary and even +in Constantinople is the medium between captives and Moors, and is +neither Morisco nor Castilian, nor of any other nation, but a mixture of +all languages, by means of which we can all understand one another. In +this sort of language, I say, he asked me what I wanted in his garden, +and to whom I belonged. I replied that I was a slave of the Arnaut Mami +(for I knew as a certainty that he was a very great friend of his), and +that I wanted some herbs to make a salad. He asked me then whether I were +on ransom or not, and what my master demanded for me. While these +questions and answers were proceeding, the fair Zoraida, who had already +perceived me some time before, came out of the house in the garden, and +as Moorish women are by no means particular about letting themselves be +seen by Christians, or, as I have said before, at all coy, she had no +hesitation in coming to where her father stood with me; moreover her +father, seeing her approaching slowly, called to her to come. It would be +beyond my power now to describe to you the great beauty, the high-bred +air, the brilliant attire of my beloved Zoraida as she presented herself +before my eyes. I will content myself with saying that more pearls hung +from her fair neck, her ears, and her hair than she had hairs on her +head. On her ankles, which as is customary were bare, she had carcajes +(for so bracelets or anklets are called in Morisco) of the purest gold, +set with so many diamonds that she told me afterwards her father valued +them at ten thousand doubloons, and those she had on her wrists were +worth as much more. The pearls were in profusion and very fine, for the +highest display and adornment of the Moorish women is decking themselves +with rich pearls and seed-pearls; and of these there are therefore more +among the Moors than among any other people. Zoraida's father had to the +reputation of possessing a great number, and the purest in all Algiers, +and of possessing also more than two hundred thousand Spanish crowns; and +she, who is now mistress of me only, was mistress of all this. Whether +thus adorned she would have been beautiful or not, and what she must have +been in her prosperity, may be imagined from the beauty remaining to her +after so many hardships; for, as everyone knows, the beauty of some women +has its times and its seasons, and is increased or diminished by chance +causes; and naturally the emotions of the mind will heighten or impair +it, though indeed more frequently they totally destroy it. In a word she +presented herself before me that day attired with the utmost splendour, +and supremely beautiful; at any rate, she seemed to me the most beautiful +object I had ever seen; and when, besides, I thought of all I owed to her +I felt as though I had before me some heavenly being come to earth to +bring me relief and happiness. + +As she approached her father told her in his own language that I was a +captive belonging to his friend the Arnaut Mami, and that I had come for +salad. + +She took up the conversation, and in that mixture of tongues I have +spoken of she asked me if I was a gentleman, and why I was not ransomed. + +I answered that I was already ransomed, and that by the price it might be +seen what value my master set on me, as I had given one thousand five +hundred zoltanis for me; to which she replied, "Hadst thou been my +father's, I can tell thee, I would not have let him part with thee for +twice as much, for you Christians always tell lies about yourselves and +make yourselves out poor to cheat the Moors." + +"That may be, lady," said I; "but indeed I dealt truthfully with my +master, as I do and mean to do with everybody in the world." + +"And when dost thou go?" said Zoraida. + +"To-morrow, I think," said I, "for there is a vessel here from France +which sails to-morrow, and I think I shall go in her." + +"Would it not be better," said Zoraida, "to wait for the arrival of ships +from Spain and go with them and not with the French who are not your +friends?" + +"No," said I; "though if there were intelligence that a vessel were now +coming from Spain it is true I might, perhaps, wait for it; however, it +is more likely I shall depart to-morrow, for the longing I feel to return +to my country and to those I love is so great that it will not allow me +to wait for another opportunity, however more convenient, if it be +delayed." + +"No doubt thou art married in thine own country," said Zoraida, "and for +that reason thou art anxious to go and see thy wife." + +"I am not married," I replied, "but I have given my promise to marry on +my arrival there." + +"And is the lady beautiful to whom thou hast given it?" said Zoraida. + +"So beautiful," said I, "that, to describe her worthily and tell thee the +truth, she is very like thee." + +At this her father laughed very heartily and said, "By Allah, Christian, +she must be very beautiful if she is like my daughter, who is the most +beautiful woman in all this kingdom: only look at her well and thou wilt +see I am telling the truth." + +Zoraida's father as the better linguist helped to interpret most of these +words and phrases, for though she spoke the bastard language, that, as I +have said, is employed there, she expressed her meaning more by signs +than by words. + +While we were still engaged in this conversation, a Moor came running up, +exclaiming that four Turks had leaped over the fence or wall of the +garden, and were gathering the fruit though it was not yet ripe. The old +man was alarmed and Zoraida too, for the Moors commonly, and, so to +speak, instinctively have a dread of the Turks, but particularly of the +soldiers, who are so insolent and domineering to the Moors who are under +their power that they treat them worse than if they were their slaves. +Her father said to Zoraida, "Daughter, retire into the house and shut +thyself in while I go and speak to these dogs; and thou, Christian, pick +thy herbs, and go in peace, and Allah bring thee safe to thy own +country." + +I bowed, and he went away to look for the Turks, leaving me alone with +Zoraida, who made as if she were about to retire as her father bade her; +but the moment he was concealed by the trees of the garden, turning to me +with her eyes full of tears she said, "Tameji, cristiano, tameji?" that is +to say, "Art thou going, Christian, art thou going?" + +I made answer, "Yes, lady, but not without thee, come what may: be on the +watch for me on the next Juma, and be not alarmed when thou seest us; for +most surely we shall go to the land of the Christians." + +This I said in such a way that she understood perfectly all that passed +between us, and throwing her arm round my neck she began with feeble +steps to move towards the house; but as fate would have it (and it might +have been very unfortunate if Heaven had not otherwise ordered it), just +as we were moving on in the manner and position I have described, with +her arm round my neck, her father, as he returned after having sent away +the Turks, saw how we were walking and we perceived that he saw us; but +Zoraida, ready and quickwitted, took care not to remove her arm from my +neck, but on the contrary drew closer to me and laid her head on my +breast, bending her knees a little and showing all the signs and tokens +of fainting, while I at the same time made it seem as though I were +supporting her against my will. Her father came running up to where we +were, and seeing his daughter in this state asked what was the matter +with her; she, however, giving no answer, he said, "No doubt she has +fainted in alarm at the entrance of those dogs," and taking her from mine +he drew her to his own breast, while she sighing, her eyes still wet with +tears, said again, "Ameji, cristiano, ameji"--"Go, Christian, go." To +this her father replied, "There is no need, daughter, for the Christian +to go, for he has done thee no harm, and the Turks have now gone; feel no +alarm, there is nothing to hurt thee, for as I say, the Turks at my +request have gone back the way they came." + +"It was they who terrified her, as thou hast said, senor," said I to her +father; "but since she tells me to go, I have no wish to displease her: +peace be with thee, and with thy leave I will come back to this garden +for herbs if need be, for my master says there are nowhere better herbs +for salad then here." + +"Come back for any thou hast need of," replied Hadji Morato; "for my +daughter does not speak thus because she is displeased with thee or any +Christian: she only meant that the Turks should go, not thou; or that it +was time for thee to look for thy herbs." + +With this I at once took my leave of both; and she, looking as though her +heart were breaking, retired with her father. While pretending to look +for herbs I made the round of the garden at my ease, and studied +carefully all the approaches and outlets, and the fastenings of the house +and everything that could be taken advantage of to make our task easy. + +Having done so I went and gave an account of all that had taken place to +the renegade and my comrades, and looked forward with impatience to the +hour when, all fear at an end, I should find myself in possession of the +prize which fortune held out to me in the fair and lovely Zoraida. The +time passed at length, and the appointed day we so longed for arrived; +and, all following out the arrangement and plan which, after careful +consideration and many a long discussion, we had decided upon, we +succeeded as fully as we could have wished; for on the Friday following +the day upon which I spoke to Zoraida in the garden, the renegade +anchored his vessel at nightfall almost opposite the spot where she was. +The Christians who were to row were ready and in hiding in different +places round about, all waiting for me, anxious and elated, and eager to +attack the vessel they had before their eyes; for they did not know the +renegade's plan, but expected that they were to gain their liberty by +force of arms and by killing the Moors who were on board the vessel. As +soon, then, as I and my comrades made our appearance, all those that were +in hiding seeing us came and joined us. It was now the time when the city +gates are shut, and there was no one to be seen in all the space outside. +When we were collected together we debated whether it would be better +first to go for Zoraida, or to make prisoners of the Moorish rowers who +rowed in the vessel; but while we were still uncertain our renegade came +up asking us what kept us, as it was now the time, and all the Moors were +off their guard and most of them asleep. We told him why we hesitated, +but he said it was of more importance first to secure the vessel, which +could be done with the greatest ease and without any danger, and then we +could go for Zoraida. We all approved of what he said, and so without +further delay, guided by him we made for the vessel, and he leaping on +board first, drew his cutlass and said in Morisco, "Let no one stir from +this if he does not want it to cost him his life." By this almost all the +Christians were on board, and the Moors, who were fainthearted, hearing +their captain speak in this way, were cowed, and without any one of them +taking to his arms (and indeed they had few or hardly any) they submitted +without saying a word to be bound by the Christians, who quickly secured +them, threatening them that if they raised any kind of outcry they would +be all put to the sword. This having been accomplished, and half of our +party being left to keep guard over them, the rest of us, again taking +the renegade as our guide, hastened towards Hadji Morato's garden, and as +good luck would have it, on trying the gate it opened as easily as if it +had not been locked; and so, quite quietly and in silence, we reached the +house without being perceived by anybody. The lovely Zoraida was watching +for us at a window, and as soon as she perceived that there were people +there, she asked in a low voice if we were "Nizarani," as much as to say +or ask if we were Christians. I answered that we were, and begged her to +come down. As soon as she recognised me she did not delay an instant, but +without answering a word came down immediately, opened the door and +presented herself before us all, so beautiful and so richly attired that +I cannot attempt to describe her. The moment I saw her I took her hand +and kissed it, and the renegade and my two comrades did the same; and the +rest, who knew nothing of the circumstances, did as they saw us do, for +it only seemed as if we were returning thanks to her, and recognising her +as the giver of our liberty. The renegade asked her in the Morisco +language if her father was in the house. She replied that he was and that +he was asleep. + +"Then it will be necessary to waken him and take him with us," said the +renegade, "and everything of value in this fair mansion." + +"Nay," said she, "my father must not on any account be touched, and there +is nothing in the house except what I shall take, and that will be quite +enough to enrich and satisfy all of you; wait a little and you shall +see," and so saying she went in, telling us she would return immediately +and bidding us keep quiet making any noise. + +I asked the renegade what had passed between them, and when he told me, I +declared that nothing should be done except in accordance with the wishes +of Zoraida, who now came back with a little trunk so full of gold crowns +that she could scarcely carry it. Unfortunately her father awoke while +this was going on, and hearing a noise in the garden, came to the window, +and at once perceiving that all those who were there were Christians, +raising a prodigiously loud outcry, he began to call out in Arabic, +"Christians, Christians! thieves, thieves!" by which cries we were all +thrown into the greatest fear and embarrassment; but the renegade seeing +the danger we were in and how important it was for him to effect his +purpose before we were heard, mounted with the utmost quickness to where +Hadji Morato was, and with him went some of our party; I, however, did +not dare to leave Zoraida, who had fallen almost fainting in my arms. To +be brief, those who had gone upstairs acted so promptly that in an +instant they came down, carrying Hadji Morato with his hands bound and a +napkin tied over his mouth, which prevented him from uttering a word, +warning him at the same time that to attempt to speak would cost him his +life. When his daughter caught sight of him she covered her eyes so as +not to see him, and her father was horror-stricken, not knowing how +willingly she had placed herself in our hands. But it was now most +essential for us to be on the move, and carefully and quickly we regained +the vessel, where those who had remained on board were waiting for us in +apprehension of some mishap having befallen us. It was barely two hours +after night set in when we were all on board the vessel, where the cords +were removed from the hands of Zoraida's father, and the napkin from his +mouth; but the renegade once more told him not to utter a word, or they +would take his life. He, when he saw his daughter there, began to sigh +piteously, and still more when he perceived that I held her closely +embraced and that she lay quiet without resisting or complaining, or +showing any reluctance; nevertheless he remained silent lest they should +carry into effect the repeated threats the renegade had addressed to him. + +Finding herself now on board, and that we were about to give way with the +oars, Zoraida, seeing her father there, and the other Moors bound, bade +the renegade ask me to do her the favour of releasing the Moors and +setting her father at liberty, for she would rather drown herself in the +sea than suffer a father that had loved her so dearly to be carried away +captive before her eyes and on her account. The renegade repeated this to +me, and I replied that I was very willing to do so; but he replied that +it was not advisable, because if they were left there they would at once +raise the country and stir up the city, and lead to the despatch of swift +cruisers in pursuit, and our being taken, by sea or land, without any +possibility of escape; and that all that could be done was to set them +free on the first Christian ground we reached. On this point we all +agreed; and Zoraida, to whom it was explained, together with the reasons +that prevented us from doing at once what she desired, was satisfied +likewise; and then in glad silence and with cheerful alacrity each of our +stout rowers took his oar, and commending ourselves to God with all our +hearts, we began to shape our course for the island of Majorca, the +nearest Christian land. Owing, however, to the Tramontana rising a +little, and the sea growing somewhat rough, it was impossible for us to +keep a straight course for Majorca, and we were compelled to coast in the +direction of Oran, not without great uneasiness on our part lest we +should be observed from the town of Shershel, which lies on that coast, +not more than sixty miles from Algiers. Moreover we were afraid of +meeting on that course one of the galliots that usually come with goods +from Tetuan; although each of us for himself and all of us together felt +confident that, if we were to meet a merchant galliot, so that it were +not a cruiser, not only should we not be lost, but that we should take a +vessel in which we could more safely accomplish our voyage. As we pursued +our course Zoraida kept her head between my hands so as not to see her +father, and I felt that she was praying to Lela Marien to help us. + +We might have made about thirty miles when daybreak found us some three +musket-shots off the land, which seemed to us deserted, and without +anyone to see us. For all that, however, by hard rowing we put out a +little to sea, for it was now somewhat calmer, and having gained about +two leagues the word was given to row by batches, while we ate something, +for the vessel was well provided; but the rowers said it was not a time +to take any rest; let food be served out to those who were not rowing, +but they would not leave their oars on any account. This was done, but +now a stiff breeze began to blow, which obliged us to leave off rowing +and make sail at once and steer for Oran, as it was impossible to make +any other course. All this was done very promptly, and under sail we ran +more than eight miles an hour without any fear, except that of coming +across some vessel out on a roving expedition. We gave the Moorish rowers +some food, and the renegade comforted them by telling them that they were +not held as captives, as we should set them free on the first +opportunity. + +The same was said to Zoraida's father, who replied, "Anything else, +Christian, I might hope for or think likely from your generosity and good +behaviour, but do not think me so simple as to imagine you will give me +my liberty; for you would have never exposed yourselves to the danger of +depriving me of it only to restore it to me so generously, especially as +you know who I am and the sum you may expect to receive on restoring it; +and if you will only name that, I here offer you all you require for +myself and for my unhappy daughter there; or else for her alone, for she +is the greatest and most precious part of my soul." + +As he said this he began to weep so bitterly that he filled us all with +compassion and forced Zoraida to look at him, and when she saw him +weeping she was so moved that she rose from my feet and ran to throw her +arms round him, and pressing her face to his, they both gave way to such +an outburst of tears that several of us were constrained to keep them +company. + +But when her father saw her in full dress and with all her jewels about +her, he said to her in his own language, "What means this, my daughter? +Last night, before this terrible misfortune in which we are plunged +befell us, I saw thee in thy everyday and indoor garments; and now, +without having had time to attire thyself, and without my bringing thee +any joyful tidings to furnish an occasion for adorning and bedecking +thyself, I see thee arrayed in the finest attire it would be in my power +to give thee when fortune was most kind to us. Answer me this; for it +causes me greater anxiety and surprise than even this misfortune itself." + +The renegade interpreted to us what the Moor said to his daughter; she, +however, returned him no answer. But when he observed in one corner of +the vessel the little trunk in which she used to keep her jewels, which +he well knew he had left in Algiers and had not brought to the garden, he +was still more amazed, and asked her how that trunk had come into our +hands, and what there was in it. To which the renegade, without waiting +for Zoraida to reply, made answer, "Do not trouble thyself by asking thy +daughter Zoraida so many questions, senor, for the one answer I will give +thee will serve for all; I would have thee know that she is a Christian, +and that it is she who has been the file for our chains and our deliverer +from captivity. She is here of her own free will, as glad, I imagine, to +find herself in this position as he who escapes from darkness into the +light, from death to life, and from suffering to glory." + +"Daughter, is this true, what he says?" cried the Moor. + +"It is," replied Zoraida. + +"That thou art in truth a Christian," said the old man, "and that thou +hast given thy father into the power of his enemies?" + +To which Zoraida made answer, "A Christian I am, but it is not I who have +placed thee in this position, for it never was my wish to leave thee or +do thee harm, but only to do good to myself." + +"And what good hast thou done thyself, daughter?" said he. + +"Ask thou that," said she, "of Lela Marien, for she can tell thee better +than I." + +The Moor had hardly heard these words when with marvellous quickness he +flung himself headforemost into the sea, where no doubt he would have +been drowned had not the long and full dress he wore held him up for a +little on the surface of the water. Zoraida cried aloud to us to save +him, and we all hastened to help, and seizing him by his robe we drew him +in half drowned and insensible, at which Zoraida was in such distress +that she wept over him as piteously and bitterly as though he were +already dead. We turned him upon his face and he voided a great quantity +of water, and at the end of two hours came to himself. Meanwhile, the +wind having changed we were compelled to head for the land, and ply our +oars to avoid being driven on shore; but it was our good fortune to reach +a creek that lies on one side of a small promontory or cape, called by +the Moors that of the "Cava rumia," which in our language means "the +wicked Christian woman;" for it is a tradition among them that La Cava, +through whom Spain was lost, lies buried at that spot; "cava" in their +language meaning "wicked woman," and "rumia" "Christian;" moreover, they +count it unlucky to anchor there when necessity compels them, and they +never do so otherwise. For us, however, it was not the resting-place of +the wicked woman but a haven of safety for our relief, so much had the +sea now got up. We posted a look-out on shore, and never let the oars out +of our hands, and ate of the stores the renegade had laid in, imploring +God and Our Lady with all our hearts to help and protect us, that we +might give a happy ending to a beginning so prosperous. At the entreaty +of Zoraida orders were given to set on shore her father and the other +Moors who were still bound, for she could not endure, nor could her +tender heart bear to see her father in bonds and her fellow-countrymen +prisoners before her eyes. We promised her to do this at the moment of +departure, for as it was uninhabited we ran no risk in releasing them at +that place. + +Our prayers were not so far in vain as to be unheard by Heaven, for after +a while the wind changed in our favour, and made the sea calm, inviting +us once more to resume our voyage with a good heart. Seeing this we +unbound the Moors, and one by one put them on shore, at which they were +filled with amazement; but when we came to land Zoraida's father, who had +now completely recovered his senses, he said: + +"Why is it, think ye, Christians, that this wicked woman is rejoiced at +your giving me my liberty? Think ye it is because of the affection she +bears me? Nay verily, it is only because of the hindrance my presence +offers to the execution of her base designs. And think not that it is her +belief that yours is better than ours that has led her to change her +religion; it is only because she knows that immodesty is more freely +practised in your country than in ours." Then turning to Zoraida, while I +and another of the Christians held him fast by both arms, lest he should +do some mad act, he said to her, "Infamous girl, misguided maiden, +whither in thy blindness and madness art thou going in the hands of these +dogs, our natural enemies? Cursed be the hour when I begot thee! Cursed +the luxury and indulgence in which I reared thee!" + +But seeing that he was not likely soon to cease I made haste to put him +on shore, and thence he continued his maledictions and lamentations +aloud; calling on Mohammed to pray to Allah to destroy us, to confound +us, to make an end of us; and when, in consequence of having made sail, +we could no longer hear what he said we could see what he did; how he +plucked out his beard and tore his hair and lay writhing on the ground. +But once he raised his voice to such a pitch that we were able to hear +what he said. "Come back, dear daughter, come back to shore; I forgive +thee all; let those men have the money, for it is theirs now, and come +back to comfort thy sorrowing father, who will yield up his life on this +barren strand if thou dost leave him." + +All this Zoraida heard, and heard with sorrow and tears, and all she +could say in answer was, "Allah grant that Lela Marien, who has made me +become a Christian, give thee comfort in thy sorrow, my father. Allah +knows that I could not do otherwise than I have done, and that these +Christians owe nothing to my will; for even had I wished not to accompany +them, but remain at home, it would have been impossible for me, so +eagerly did my soul urge me on to the accomplishment of this purpose, +which I feel to be as righteous as to thee, dear father, it seems +wicked." + +But neither could her father hear her nor we see him when she said this; +and so, while I consoled Zoraida, we turned our attention to our voyage, +in which a breeze from the right point so favoured us that we made sure +of finding ourselves off the coast of Spain on the morrow by daybreak. +But, as good seldom or never comes pure and unmixed, without being +attended or followed by some disturbing evil that gives a shock to it, +our fortune, or perhaps the curses which the Moor had hurled at his +daughter (for whatever kind of father they may come from these are always +to be dreaded), brought it about that when we were now in mid-sea, and +the night about three hours spent, as we were running with all sail set +and oars lashed, for the favouring breeze saved us the trouble of using +them, we saw by the light of the moon, which shone brilliantly, a +square-rigged vessel in full sail close to us, luffing up and standing +across our course, and so close that we had to strike sail to avoid +running foul of her, while they too put the helm hard up to let us pass. +They came to the side of the ship to ask who we were, whither we were +bound, and whence we came, but as they asked this in French our renegade +said, "Let no one answer, for no doubt these are French corsairs who +plunder all comers." + +Acting on this warning no one answered a word, but after we had gone a +little ahead, and the vessel was now lying to leeward, suddenly they +fired two guns, and apparently both loaded with chain-shot, for with one +they cut our mast in half and brought down both it and the sail into the +sea, and the other, discharged at the same moment, sent a ball into our +vessel amidships, staving her in completely, but without doing any +further damage. We, however, finding ourselves sinking began to shout for +help and call upon those in the ship to pick us up as we were beginning +to fill. They then lay to, and lowering a skiff or boat, as many as a +dozen Frenchmen, well armed with match-locks, and their matches burning, +got into it and came alongside; and seeing how few we were, and that our +vessel was going down, they took us in, telling us that this had come to +us through our incivility in not giving them an answer. Our renegade took +the trunk containing Zoraida's wealth and dropped it into the sea without +anyone perceiving what he did. In short we went on board with the +Frenchmen, who, after having ascertained all they wanted to know about +us, rifled us of everything we had, as if they had been our bitterest +enemies, and from Zoraida they took even the anklets she wore on her +feet; but the distress they caused her did not distress me so much as the +fear I was in that from robbing her of her rich and precious jewels they +would proceed to rob her of the most precious jewel that she valued more +than all. The desires, however, of those people do not go beyond money, +but of that their covetousness is insatiable, and on this occasion it was +carried to such a pitch that they would have taken even the clothes we +wore as captives if they had been worth anything to them. It was the +advice of some of them to throw us all into the sea wrapped up in a sail; +for their purpose was to trade at some of the ports of Spain, giving +themselves out as Bretons, and if they brought us alive they would be +punished as soon as the robbery was discovered; but the captain (who was +the one who had plundered my beloved Zoraida) said he was satisfied with +the prize he had got, and that he would not touch at any Spanish port, +but pass the Straits of Gibraltar by night, or as best he could, and make +for La Rochelle, from which he had sailed. So they agreed by common +consent to give us the skiff belonging to their ship and all we required +for the short voyage that remained to us, and this they did the next day +on coming in sight of the Spanish coast, with which, and the joy we felt, +all our sufferings and miseries were as completely forgotten as if they +had never been endured by us, such is the delight of recovering lost +liberty. + +It may have been about mid-day when they placed us in the boat, giving us +two kegs of water and some biscuit; and the captain, moved by I know not +what compassion, as the lovely Zoraida was about to embark, gave her some +forty gold crowns, and would not permit his men to take from her those +same garments which she has on now. We got into the boat, returning them +thanks for their kindness to us, and showing ourselves grateful rather +than indignant. They stood out to sea, steering for the straits; we, +without looking to any compass save the land we had before us, set +ourselves to row with such energy that by sunset we were so near that we +might easily, we thought, land before the night was far advanced. But as +the moon did not show that night, and the sky was clouded, and as we knew +not whereabouts we were, it did not seem to us a prudent thing to make +for the shore, as several of us advised, saying we ought to run ourselves +ashore even if it were on rocks and far from any habitation, for in this +way we should be relieved from the apprehensions we naturally felt of the +prowling vessels of the Tetuan corsairs, who leave Barbary at nightfall +and are on the Spanish coast by daybreak, where they commonly take some +prize, and then go home to sleep in their own houses. But of the +conflicting counsels the one which was adopted was that we should +approach gradually, and land where we could if the sea were calm enough +to permit us. This was done, and a little before midnight we drew near to +the foot of a huge and lofty mountain, not so close to the sea but that +it left a narrow space on which to land conveniently. We ran our boat up +on the sand, and all sprang out and kissed the ground, and with tears of +joyful satisfaction returned thanks to God our Lord for all his +incomparable goodness to us on our voyage. We took out of the boat the +provisions it contained, and drew it up on the shore, and then climbed a +long way up the mountain, for even there we could not feel easy in our +hearts, or persuade ourselves that it was Christian soil that was now +under our feet. + +The dawn came, more slowly, I think, than we could have wished; we +completed the ascent in order to see if from the summit any habitation or +any shepherds' huts could be discovered, but strain our eyes as we might, +neither dwelling, nor human being, nor path nor road could we perceive. +However, we determined to push on farther, as it could not but be that +ere long we must see some one who could tell us where we were. But what +distressed me most was to see Zoraida going on foot over that rough +ground; for though I once carried her on my shoulders, she was more +wearied by my weariness than rested by the rest; and so she would never +again allow me to undergo the exertion, and went on very patiently and +cheerfully, while I led her by the hand. We had gone rather less than a +quarter of a league when the sound of a little bell fell on our ears, a +clear proof that there were flocks hard by, and looking about carefully +to see if any were within view, we observed a young shepherd tranquilly +and unsuspiciously trimming a stick with his knife at the foot of a cork +tree. We called to him, and he, raising his head, sprang nimbly to his +feet, for, as we afterwards learned, the first who presented themselves +to his sight were the renegade and Zoraida, and seeing them in Moorish +dress he imagined that all the Moors of Barbary were upon him; and +plunging with marvellous swiftness into the thicket in front of him, he +began to raise a prodigious outcry, exclaiming, "The Moors--the Moors +have landed! To arms, to arms!" We were all thrown into perplexity by +these cries, not knowing what to do; but reflecting that the shouts of +the shepherd would raise the country and that the mounted coast-guard +would come at once to see what was the matter, we agreed that the +renegade must strip off his Turkish garments and put on a captive's +jacket or coat which one of our party gave him at once, though he himself +was reduced to his shirt; and so commending ourselves to God, we followed +the same road which we saw the shepherd take, expecting every moment that +the coast-guard would be down upon us. Nor did our expectation deceive +us, for two hours had not passed when, coming out of the brushwood into +the open ground, we perceived some fifty mounted men swiftly approaching +us at a hand-gallop. As soon as we saw them we stood still, waiting for +them; but as they came close and, instead of the Moors they were in quest +of, saw a set of poor Christians, they were taken aback, and one of them +asked if it could be we who were the cause of the shepherd having raised +the call to arms. I said "Yes," and as I was about to explain to him what +had occurred, and whence we came and who we were, one of the Christians +of our party recognised the horseman who had put the question to us, and +before I could say anything more he exclaimed: + +"Thanks be to God, sirs, for bringing us to such good quarters; for, if I +do not deceive myself, the ground we stand on is that of Velez Malaga +unless, indeed, all my years of captivity have made me unable to +recollect that you, senor, who ask who we are, are Pedro de Bustamante, +my uncle." + +The Christian captive had hardly uttered these words, when the horseman +threw himself off his horse, and ran to embrace the young man, crying: + +"Nephew of my soul and life! I recognise thee now; and long have I +mourned thee as dead, I, and my sister, thy mother, and all thy kin that +are still alive, and whom God has been pleased to preserve that they may +enjoy the happiness of seeing thee. We knew long since that thou wert in +Algiers, and from the appearance of thy garments and those of all this +company, I conclude that ye have had a miraculous restoration to +liberty." + +"It is true," replied the young man, "and by-and-by we will tell you +all." + +As soon as the horsemen understood that we were Christian captives, they +dismounted from their horses, and each offered his to carry us to the +city of Velez Malaga, which was a league and a half distant. Some of them +went to bring the boat to the city, we having told them where we had left +it; others took us up behind them, and Zoraida was placed on the horse of +the young man's uncle. The whole town came out to meet us, for they had +by this time heard of our arrival from one who had gone on in advance. +They were not astonished to see liberated captives or captive Moors, for +people on that coast are well used to see both one and the other; but +they were astonished at the beauty of Zoraida, which was just then +heightened, as well by the exertion of travelling as by joy at finding +herself on Christian soil, and relieved of all fear of being lost; for +this had brought such a glow upon her face, that unless my affection for +her were deceiving me, I would venture to say that there was not a more +beautiful creature in the world--at least, that I had ever seen. We went +straight to the church to return thanks to God for the mercies we had +received, and when Zoraida entered it she said there were faces there +like Lela Marien's. We told her they were her images; and as well as he +could the renegade explained to her what they meant, that she might adore +them as if each of them were the very same Lela Marien that had spoken to +her; and she, having great intelligence and a quick and clear instinct, +understood at once all he said to her about them. Thence they took us +away and distributed us all in different houses in the town; but as for +the renegade, Zoraida, and myself, the Christian who came with us brought +us to the house of his parents, who had a fair share of the gifts of +fortune, and treated us with as much kindness as they did their own son. + +We remained six days in Velez, at the end of which the renegade, having +informed himself of all that was requisite for him to do, set out for the +city of Granada to restore himself to the sacred bosom of the Church +through the medium of the Holy Inquisition. The other released captives +took their departures, each the way that seemed best to him, and Zoraida +and I were left alone, with nothing more than the crowns which the +courtesy of the Frenchman had bestowed upon Zoraida, out of which I +bought the beast on which she rides; and, I for the present attending her +as her father and squire and not as her husband, we are now going to +ascertain if my father is living, or if any of my brothers has had better +fortune than mine has been; though, as Heaven has made me the companion +of Zoraida, I think no other lot could be assigned to me, however happy, +that I would rather have. The patience with which she endures the +hardships that poverty brings with it, and the eagerness she shows to +become a Christian, are such that they fill me with admiration, and bind +me to serve her all my life; though the happiness I feel in seeing myself +hers, and her mine, is disturbed and marred by not knowing whether I +shall find any corner to shelter her in my own country, or whether time +and death may not have made such changes in the fortunes and lives of my +father and brothers, that I shall hardly find anyone who knows me, if +they are not alive. + +I have no more of my story to tell you, gentlemen; whether it be an +interesting or a curious one let your better judgments decide; all I can +say is I would gladly have told it to you more briefly; although my fear +of wearying you has made me leave out more than one circumstance. + +Chapter XLII. - +Which treats of what further took place in the inn, and of several other +things worth knowing + +With these words the captive held his peace, and Don Fernando said to +him, "In truth, captain, the manner in which you have related this +remarkable adventure has been such as befitted the novelty and +strangeness of the matter. The whole story is curious and uncommon, and +abounds with incidents that fill the hearers with wonder and +astonishment; and so great is the pleasure we have found in listening to +it that we should be glad if it were to begin again, even though +to-morrow were to find us still occupied with the same tale." And while +he said this Cardenio and the rest of them offered to be of service to +him in any way that lay in their power, and in words and language so +kindly and sincere that the captain was much gratified by their +good-will. In particular Don Fernando offered, if he would go back with +him, to get his brother the marquis to become godfather at the baptism of +Zoraida, and on his own part to provide him with the means of making his +appearance in his own country with the credit and comfort he was entitled +to. For all this the captive returned thanks very courteously, although +he would not accept any of their generous offers. + +By this time night closed in, and as it did, there came up to the inn a +coach attended by some men on horseback, who demanded accommodation; to +which the landlady replied that there was not a hand's breadth of the +whole inn unoccupied. + +"Still, for all that," said one of those who had entered on horseback, +"room must be found for his lordship the Judge here." + +At this name the landlady was taken aback, and said, "Senor, the fact is +I have no beds; but if his lordship the Judge carries one with him, as no +doubt he does, let him come in and welcome; for my husband and I will +give up our room to accommodate his worship." + +"Very good, so be it," said the squire; but in the meantime a man had got +out of the coach whose dress indicated at a glance the office and post he +held, for the long robe with ruffled sleeves that he wore showed that he +was, as his servant said, a Judge of appeal. He led by the hand a young +girl in a travelling dress, apparently about sixteen years of age, and of +such a high-bred air, so beautiful and so graceful, that all were filled +with admiration when she made her appearance, and but for having seen +Dorothea, Luscinda, and Zoraida, who were there in the inn, they would +have fancied that a beauty like that of this maiden's would have been +hard to find. Don Quixote was present at the entrance of the Judge with +the young lady, and as soon as he saw him he said, "Your worship may with +confidence enter and take your ease in this castle; for though the +accommodation be scanty and poor, there are no quarters so cramped or +inconvenient that they cannot make room for arms and letters; above all +if arms and letters have beauty for a guide and leader, as letters +represented by your worship have in this fair maiden, to whom not only +ought castles to throw themselves open and yield themselves up, but rocks +should rend themselves asunder and mountains divide and bow themselves +down to give her a reception. Enter, your worship, I say, into this +paradise, for here you will find stars and suns to accompany the heaven +your worship brings with you, here you will find arms in their supreme +excellence, and beauty in its highest perfection." + +The Judge was struck with amazement at the language of Don Quixote, whom +he scrutinized very carefully, no less astonished by his figure than by +his talk; and before he could find words to answer him he had a fresh +surprise, when he saw opposite to him Luscinda, Dorothea, and Zoraida, +who, having heard of the new guests and of the beauty of the young lady, +had come to see her and welcome her; Don Fernando, Cardenio, and the +curate, however, greeted him in a more intelligible and polished style. +In short, the Judge made his entrance in a state of bewilderment, as well +with what he saw as what he heard, and the fair ladies of the inn gave +the fair damsel a cordial welcome. On the whole he could perceive that +all who were there were people of quality; but with the figure, +countenance, and bearing of Don Quixote he was at his wits' end; and all +civilities having been exchanged, and the accommodation of the inn +inquired into, it was settled, as it had been before settled, that all +the women should retire to the garret that has been already mentioned, +and that the men should remain outside as if to guard them; the Judge, +therefore, was very well pleased to allow his daughter, for such the +damsel was, to go with the ladies, which she did very willingly; and with +part of the host's narrow bed and half of what the Judge had brought with +him, they made a more comfortable arrangement for the night than they had +expected. + +The captive, whose heart had leaped within him the instant he saw the +Judge, telling him somehow that this was his brother, asked one of the +servants who accompanied him what his name was, and whether he knew from +what part of the country he came. The servant replied that he was called +the Licentiate Juan Perez de Viedma, and that he had heard it said he +came from a village in the mountains of Leon. From this statement, and +what he himself had seen, he felt convinced that this was his brother who +had adopted letters by his father's advice; and excited and rejoiced, he +called Don Fernando and Cardenio and the curate aside, and told them how +the matter stood, assuring them that the judge was his brother. The +servant had further informed him that he was now going to the Indies with +the appointment of Judge of the Supreme Court of Mexico; and he had +learned, likewise, that the young lady was his daughter, whose mother had +died in giving birth to her, and that he was very rich in consequence of +the dowry left to him with the daughter. He asked their advice as to what +means he should adopt to make himself known, or to ascertain beforehand +whether, when he had made himself known, his brother, seeing him so poor, +would be ashamed of him, or would receive him with a warm heart. + +"Leave it to me to find out that," said the curate; "though there is no +reason for supposing, senor captain, that you will not be kindly +received, because the worth and wisdom that your brother's bearing shows +him to possess do not make it likely that he will prove haughty or +insensible, or that he will not know how to estimate the accidents of +fortune at their proper value." + +"Still," said the captain, "I would not make myself known abruptly, but +in some indirect way." + +"I have told you already," said the curate, "that I will manage it in a +way to satisfy us all." + +By this time supper was ready, and they all took their seats at the +table, except the captive, and the ladies, who supped by themselves in +their own room. In the middle of supper the curate said: + +"I had a comrade of your worship's name, Senor Judge, in Constantinople, +where I was a captive for several years, and that same comrade was one of +the stoutest soldiers and captains in the whole Spanish infantry; but he +had as large a share of misfortune as he had of gallantry and courage." + +"And how was the captain called, senor?" asked the Judge. + +"He was called Ruy Perez de Viedma," replied the curate, "and he was born +in a village in the mountains of Leon; and he mentioned a circumstance +connected with his father and his brothers which, had it not been told me +by so truthful a man as he was, I should have set down as one of those +fables the old women tell over the fire in winter; for he said his father +had divided his property among his three sons and had addressed words of +advice to them sounder than any of Cato's. But I can say this much, that +the choice he made of going to the wars was attended with such success, +that by his gallant conduct and courage, and without any help save his +own merit, he rose in a few years to be captain of infantry, and to see +himself on the high-road and in position to be given the command of a +corps before long; but Fortune was against him, for where he might have +expected her favour he lost it, and with it his liberty, on that glorious +day when so many recovered theirs, at the battle of Lepanto. I lost mine +at the Goletta, and after a variety of adventures we found ourselves +comrades at Constantinople. Thence he went to Algiers, where he met with +one of the most extraordinary adventures that ever befell anyone in the +world." + +Here the curate went on to relate briefly his brother's adventure with +Zoraida; to all which the Judge gave such an attentive hearing that he +never before had been so much of a hearer. The curate, however, only went +so far as to describe how the Frenchmen plundered those who were in the +boat, and the poverty and distress in which his comrade and the fair Moor +were left, of whom he said he had not been able to learn what became of +them, or whether they had reached Spain, or been carried to France by the +Frenchmen. + +The captain, standing a little to one side, was listening to all the +curate said, and watching every movement of his brother, who, as soon as +he perceived the curate had made an end of his story, gave a deep sigh +and said with his eyes full of tears, "Oh, senor, if you only knew what +news you have given me and how it comes home to me, making me show how I +feel it with these tears that spring from my eyes in spite of all my +worldly wisdom and self-restraint! That brave captain that you speak of +is my eldest brother, who, being of a bolder and loftier mind than my +other brother or myself, chose the honourable and worthy calling of arms, +which was one of the three careers our father proposed to us, as your +comrade mentioned in that fable you thought he was telling you. I +followed that of letters, in which God and my own exertions have raised +me to the position in which you see me. My second brother is in Peru, so +wealthy that with what he has sent to my father and to me he has fully +repaid the portion he took with him, and has even furnished my father's +hands with the means of gratifying his natural generosity, while I too +have been enabled to pursue my studies in a more becoming and creditable +fashion, and so to attain my present standing. My father is still alive, +though dying with anxiety to hear of his eldest son, and he prays God +unceasingly that death may not close his eyes until he has looked upon +those of his son; but with regard to him what surprises me is, that +having so much common sense as he had, he should have neglected to give +any intelligence about himself, either in his troubles and sufferings, or +in his prosperity, for if his father or any of us had known of his +condition he need not have waited for that miracle of the reed to obtain +his ransom; but what now disquiets me is the uncertainty whether those +Frenchmen may have restored him to liberty, or murdered him to hide the +robbery. All this will make me continue my journey, not with the +satisfaction in which I began it, but in the deepest melancholy and +sadness. Oh dear brother! that I only knew where thou art now, and I +would hasten to seek thee out and deliver thee from thy sufferings, +though it were to cost me suffering myself! Oh that I could bring news to +our old father that thou art alive, even wert thou the deepest dungeon of +Barbary; for his wealth and my brother's and mine would rescue thee +thence! Oh beautiful and generous Zoraida, that I could repay thy good +goodness to a brother! That I could be present at the new birth of thy +soul, and at thy bridal that would give us all such happiness!" + +All this and more the Judge uttered with such deep emotion at the news he +had received of his brother that all who heard him shared in it, showing +their sympathy with his sorrow. The curate, seeing, then, how well he had +succeeded in carrying out his purpose and the captain's wishes, had no +desire to keep them unhappy any longer, so he rose from the table and +going into the room where Zoraida was he took her by the hand, Luscinda, +Dorothea, and the Judge's daughter following her. The captain was waiting +to see what the curate would do, when the latter, taking him with the +other hand, advanced with both of them to where the Judge and the other +gentlemen were and said, "Let your tears cease to flow, Senor Judge, and +the wish of your heart be gratified as fully as you could desire, for you +have before you your worthy brother and your good sister-in-law. He whom +you see here is the Captain Viedma, and this is the fair Moor who has +been so good to him. The Frenchmen I told you of have reduced them to the +state of poverty you see that you may show the generosity of your kind +heart." + +The captain ran to embrace his brother, who placed both hands on his +breast so as to have a good look at him, holding him a little way off but +as soon as he had fully recognised him he clasped him in his arms so +closely, shedding such tears of heartfelt joy, that most of those present +could not but join in them. The words the brothers exchanged, the emotion +they showed can scarcely be imagined, I fancy, much less put down in +writing. They told each other in a few words the events of their lives; +they showed the true affection of brothers in all its strength; then the +judge embraced Zoraida, putting all he possessed at her disposal; then he +made his daughter embrace her, and the fair Christian and the lovely Moor +drew fresh tears from every eye. And there was Don Quixote observing all +these strange proceedings attentively without uttering a word, and +attributing the whole to chimeras of knight-errantry. Then they agreed +that the captain and Zoraida should return with his brother to Seville, +and send news to his father of his having been delivered and found, so as +to enable him to come and be present at the marriage and baptism of +Zoraida, for it was impossible for the Judge to put off his journey, as +he was informed that in a month from that time the fleet was to sail from +Seville for New Spain, and to miss the passage would have been a great +inconvenience to him. In short, everybody was well pleased and glad at +the captive's good fortune; and as now almost two-thirds of the night +were past, they resolved to retire to rest for the remainder of it. Don +Quixote offered to mount guard over the castle lest they should be +attacked by some giant or other malevolent scoundrel, covetous of the +great treasure of beauty the castle contained. Those who understood him +returned him thanks for this service, and they gave the Judge an account +of his extraordinary humour, with which he was not a little amused. +Sancho Panza alone was fuming at the lateness of the hour for retiring to +rest; and he of all was the one that made himself most comfortable, as he +stretched himself on the trappings of his ass, which, as will be told +farther on, cost him so dear. + +The ladies, then, having retired to their chamber, and the others having +disposed themselves with as little discomfort as they could, Don Quixote +sallied out of the inn to act as sentinel of the castle as he had +promised. It happened, however, that a little before the approach of dawn +a voice so musical and sweet reached the ears of the ladies that it +forced them all to listen attentively, but especially Dorothea, who had +been awake, and by whose side Dona Clara de Viedma, for so the Judge's +daughter was called, lay sleeping. No one could imagine who it was that +sang so sweetly, and the voice was unaccompanied by any instrument. At +one moment it seemed to them as if the singer were in the courtyard, at +another in the stable; and as they were all attention, wondering, +Cardenio came to the door and said, "Listen, whoever is not asleep, and +you will hear a muleteer's voice that enchants as it chants." + +"We are listening to it already, senor," said Dorothea; on which Cardenio +went away; and Dorothea, giving all her attention to it, made out the +words of the song to be these: + +Chapter XLIII. - +Wherein is related the pleasant story of the muleteer, together with +other strange things that came to pass in the inn + +poem{ + +Ah me, Love's mariner am I + On Love's deep ocean sailing; +I know not where the haven lies, + I dare not hope to gain it. + +One solitary distant star + Is all I have to guide me, +A brighter orb than those of old + That Palinurus lighted. + +And vaguely drifting am I borne, + I know not where it leads me; +I fix my gaze on it alone, + Of all beside it heedless. + +But over-cautious prudery, + And coyness cold and cruel, +When most I need it, these, like clouds, + Its longed-for light refuse me. + +Bright star, goal of my yearning eyes + As thou above me beamest, +When thou shalt hide thee from my sight + I'll know that death is near me. + +}poem + +The singer had got so far when it struck Dorothea that it was not fair to +let Clara miss hearing such a sweet voice, so, shaking her from side to +side, she woke her, saying: + +"Forgive me, child, for waking thee, but I do so that thou mayest have +the pleasure of hearing the best voice thou hast ever heard, perhaps, in +all thy life." + +Clara awoke quite drowsy, and not understanding at the moment what +Dorothea said, asked her what it was; she repeated what she had said, and +Clara became attentive at once; but she had hardly heard two lines, as +the singer continued, when a strange trembling seized her, as if she were +suffering from a severe attack of quartan ague, and throwing her arms +round Dorothea she said: + +"Ah, dear lady of my soul and life! why did you wake me? The greatest +kindness fortune could do me now would be to close my eyes and ears so as +neither to see or hear that unhappy musician." + +"What art thou talking about, child?" said Dorothea. "Why, they say this +singer is a muleteer!" + +"Nay, he is the lord of many places," replied Clara, "and that one in my +heart which he holds so firmly shall never be taken from him, unless he +be willing to surrender it." + +Dorothea was amazed at the ardent language of the girl, for it seemed to +be far beyond such experience of life as her tender years gave any +promise of, so she said to her: + +"You speak in such a way that I cannot understand you, Senora Clara; +explain yourself more clearly, and tell me what is this you are saying +about hearts and places and this musician whose voice has so moved you? +But do not tell me anything now; I do not want to lose the pleasure I get +from listening to the singer by giving my attention to your transports, +for I perceive he is beginning to sing a new strain and a new air." + +"Let him, in Heaven's name," returned Clara; and not to hear him she +stopped both ears with her hands, at which Dorothea was again surprised; +but turning her attention to the song she found that it ran in this +fashion: + +poem{ + + Sweet Hope, my stay, +That onward to the goal of thy intent + Dost make thy way, +Heedless of hindrance or impediment, + Have thou no fear +If at each step thou findest death is near. + + No victory, +No joy of triumph doth the faint heart know; + Unblest is he +That a bold front to Fortune dares not show, + But soul and sense +In bondage yieldeth up to indolence. + + If Love his wares +Do dearly sell, his right must be contest; + What gold compares +With that whereon his stamp he hath imprest? + And all men know +What costeth little that we rate but low. + + Love resolute +Knows not the word "impossibility;" + And though my suit +Beset by endless obstacles I see, + Yet no despair +Shall hold me bound to earth while heaven is there. + +}poem + +Here the voice ceased and Clara's sobs began afresh, all which excited +Dorothea's curiosity to know what could be the cause of singing so sweet +and weeping so bitter, so she again asked her what it was she was going +to say before. On this Clara, afraid that Luscinda might overhear her, +winding her arms tightly round Dorothea put her mouth so close to her ear +that she could speak without fear of being heard by anyone else, and +said: + +"This singer, dear senora, is the son of a gentleman of Aragon, lord of +two villages, who lives opposite my father's house at Madrid; and though +my father had curtains to the windows of his house in winter, and +lattice-work in summer, in some way--I know not how--this gentleman, who +was pursuing his studies, saw me, whether in church or elsewhere, I +cannot tell, and, in fact, fell in love with me, and gave me to know it +from the windows of his house, with so many signs and tears that I was +forced to believe him, and even to love him, without knowing what it was +he wanted of me. One of the signs he used to make me was to link one hand +in the other, to show me he wished to marry me; and though I should have +been glad if that could be, being alone and motherless I knew not whom to +open my mind to, and so I left it as it was, showing him no favour, +except when my father, and his too, were from home, to raise the curtain +or the lattice a little and let him see me plainly, at which he would +show such delight that he seemed as if he were going mad. Meanwhile the +time for my father's departure arrived, which he became aware of, but not +from me, for I had never been able to tell him of it. He fell sick, of +grief I believe, and so the day we were going away I could not see him to +take farewell of him, were it only with the eyes. But after we had been +two days on the road, on entering the posada of a village a day's journey +from this, I saw him at the inn door in the dress of a muleteer, and so +well disguised, that if I did not carry his image graven on my heart it +would have been impossible for me to recognise him. But I knew him, and I +was surprised, and glad; he watched me, unsuspected by my father, from +whom he always hides himself when he crosses my path on the road, or in +the posadas where we halt; and, as I know what he is, and reflect that +for love of me he makes this journey on foot in all this hardship, I am +ready to die of sorrow; and where he sets foot there I set my eyes. I +know not with what object he has come; or how he could have got away from +his father, who loves him beyond measure, having no other heir, and +because he deserves it, as you will perceive when you see him. And +moreover, I can tell you, all that he sings is out of his own head; for I +have heard them say he is a great scholar and poet; and what is more, +every time I see him or hear him sing I tremble all over, and am +terrified lest my father should recognise him and come to know of our +loves. I have never spoken a word to him in my life; and for all that I +love him so that I could not live without him. This, dear senora, is all +I have to tell you about the musician whose voice has delighted you so +much; and from it alone you might easily perceive he is no muleteer, but +a lord of hearts and towns, as I told you already." + +"Say no more, Dona Clara," said Dorothea at this, at the same time +kissing her a thousand times over, "say no more, I tell you, but wait +till day comes; when I trust in God to arrange this affair of yours so +that it may have the happy ending such an innocent beginning deserves." + +"Ah, senora," said Dona Clara, "what end can be hoped for when his father +is of such lofty position, and so wealthy, that he would think I was not +fit to be even a servant to his son, much less wife? And as to marrying +without the knowledge of my father, I would not do it for all the world. +I would not ask anything more than that this youth should go back and +leave me; perhaps with not seeing him, and the long distance we shall +have to travel, the pain I suffer now may become easier; though I daresay +the remedy I propose will do me very little good. I don't know how the +devil this has come about, or how this love I have for him got in; I such +a young girl, and he such a mere boy; for I verily believe we are both of +an age, and I am not sixteen yet; for I will be sixteen Michaelmas Day, +next, my father says." + +Dorothea could not help laughing to hear how like a child Dona Clara +spoke. "Let us go to sleep now, senora," said she, "for the little of the +night that I fancy is left to us: God will soon send us daylight, and we +will set all to rights, or it will go hard with me." + +With this they fell asleep, and deep silence reigned all through the inn. +The only persons not asleep were the landlady's daughter and her servant +Maritornes, who, knowing the weak point of Don Quixote's humour, and that +he was outside the inn mounting guard in armour and on horseback, +resolved, the pair of them, to play some trick upon him, or at any rate +to amuse themselves for a while by listening to his nonsense. As it so +happened there was not a window in the whole inn that looked outwards +except a hole in the wall of a straw-loft through which they used to +throw out the straw. At this hole the two demi-damsels posted themselves, +and observed Don Quixote on his horse, leaning on his pike and from time +to time sending forth such deep and doleful sighs, that he seemed to +pluck up his soul by the roots with each of them; and they could hear +him, too, saying in a soft, tender, loving tone, "Oh my lady Dulcinea del +Toboso, perfection of all beauty, summit and crown of discretion, +treasure house of grace, depositary of virtue, and finally, ideal of all +that is good, honourable, and delectable in this world! What is thy grace +doing now? Art thou, perchance, mindful of thy enslaved knight who of his +own free will hath exposed himself to so great perils, and all to serve +thee? Give me tidings of her, oh luminary of the three faces! Perhaps at +this moment, envious of hers, thou art regarding her, either as she paces +to and fro some gallery of her sumptuous palaces, or leans over some +balcony, meditating how, whilst preserving her purity and greatness, she +may mitigate the tortures this wretched heart of mine endures for her +sake, what glory should recompense my sufferings, what repose my toil, +and lastly what death my life, and what reward my services? And thou, oh +sun, that art now doubtless harnessing thy steeds in haste to rise +betimes and come forth to see my lady; when thou seest her I entreat of +thee to salute her on my behalf: but have a care, when thou shalt see her +and salute her, that thou kiss not her face; for I shall be more jealous +of thee than thou wert of that light-footed ingrate that made thee sweat +and run so on the plains of Thessaly, or on the banks of the Peneus (for +I do not exactly recollect where it was thou didst run on that occasion) +in thy jealousy and love." + +Don Quixote had got so far in his pathetic speech when the landlady's +daughter began to signal to him, saying, "Senor, come over here, please." + +At these signals and voice Don Quixote turned his head and saw by the +light of the moon, which then was in its full splendour, that some one +was calling to him from the hole in the wall, which seemed to him to be a +window, and what is more, with a gilt grating, as rich castles, such as +he believed the inn to be, ought to have; and it immediately suggested +itself to his imagination that, as on the former occasion, the fair +damsel, the daughter of the lady of the castle, overcome by love for him, +was once more endeavouring to win his affections; and with this idea, not +to show himself discourteous, or ungrateful, he turned Rocinante's head +and approached the hole, and as he perceived the two wenches he said: + +"I pity you, beauteous lady, that you should have directed your thoughts +of love to a quarter from whence it is impossible that such a return can +be made to you as is due to your great merit and gentle birth, for which +you must not blame this unhappy knight-errant whom love renders incapable +of submission to any other than her whom, the first moment his eyes +beheld her, he made absolute mistress of his soul. Forgive me, noble +lady, and retire to your apartment, and do not, by any further +declaration of your passion, compel me to show myself more ungrateful; +and if, of the love you bear me, you should find that there is anything +else in my power wherein I can gratify you, provided it be not love +itself, demand it of me; for I swear to you by that sweet absent enemy of +mine to grant it this instant, though it be that you require of me a lock +of Medusa's hair, which was all snakes, or even the very beams of the sun +shut up in a vial." + +"My mistress wants nothing of that sort, sir knight," said Maritornes at +this. + +"What then, discreet dame, is it that your mistress wants?" replied Don +Quixote. + +"Only one of your fair hands," said Maritornes, "to enable her to vent +over it the great passion passion which has brought her to this loophole, +so much to the risk of her honour; for if the lord her father had heard +her, the least slice he would cut off her would be her ear." + +"I should like to see that tried," said Don Quixote; "but he had better +beware of that, if he does not want to meet the most disastrous end that +ever father in the world met for having laid hands on the tender limbs of +a love-stricken daughter." + +Maritornes felt sure that Don Quixote would present the hand she had +asked, and making up her mind what to do, she got down from the hole and +went into the stable, where she took the halter of Sancho Panza's ass, +and in all haste returned to the hole, just as Don Quixote had planted +himself standing on Rocinante's saddle in order to reach the grated +window where he supposed the lovelorn damsel to be; and giving her his +hand, he said, "Lady, take this hand, or rather this scourge of the +evil-doers of the earth; take, I say, this hand which no other hand of +woman has ever touched, not even hers who has complete possession of my +entire body. I present it to you, not that you may kiss it, but that you +may observe the contexture of the sinews, the close network of the +muscles, the breadth and capacity of the veins, whence you may infer what +must be the strength of the arm that has such a hand." + +"That we shall see presently," said Maritornes, and making a running knot +on the halter, she passed it over his wrist and coming down from the hole +tied the other end very firmly to the bolt of the door of the straw-loft. + +Don Quixote, feeling the roughness of the rope on his wrist, exclaimed, +"Your grace seems to be grating rather than caressing my hand; treat it +not so harshly, for it is not to blame for the offence my resolution has +given you, nor is it just to wreak all your vengeance on so small a part; +remember that one who loves so well should not revenge herself so +cruelly." + +But there was nobody now to listen to these words of Don Quixote's, for +as soon as Maritornes had tied him she and the other made off, ready to +die with laughing, leaving him fastened in such a way that it was +impossible for him to release himself. + +He was, as has been said, standing on Rocinante, with his arm passed +through the hole and his wrist tied to the bolt of the door, and in +mighty fear and dread of being left hanging by the arm if Rocinante were +to stir one side or the other; so he did not dare to make the least +movement, although from the patience and imperturbable disposition of +Rocinante, he had good reason to expect that he would stand without +budging for a whole century. Finding himself fast, then, and that the +ladies had retired, he began to fancy that all this was done by +enchantment, as on the former occasion when in that same castle that +enchanted Moor of a carrier had belaboured him; and he cursed in his +heart his own want of sense and judgment in venturing to enter the castle +again, after having come off so badly the first time; it being a settled +point with knights-errant that when they have tried an adventure, and +have not succeeded in it, it is a sign that it is not reserved for them +but for others, and that therefore they need not try it again. +Nevertheless he pulled his arm to see if he could release himself, but it +had been made so fast that all his efforts were in vain. It is true he +pulled it gently lest Rocinante should move, but try as he might to seat +himself in the saddle, he had nothing for it but to stand upright or pull +his hand off. Then it was he wished for the sword of Amadis, against +which no enchantment whatever had any power; then he cursed his ill +fortune; then he magnified the loss the world would sustain by his +absence while he remained there enchanted, for that he believed he was +beyond all doubt; then he once more took to thinking of his beloved +Dulcinea del Toboso; then he called to his worthy squire Sancho Panza, +who, buried in sleep and stretched upon the pack-saddle of his ass, was +oblivious, at that moment, of the mother that bore him; then he called +upon the sages Lirgandeo and Alquife to come to his aid; then he invoked +his good friend Urganda to succour him; and then, at last, morning found +him in such a state of desperation and perplexity that he was bellowing +like a bull, for he had no hope that day would bring any relief to his +suffering, which he believed would last for ever, inasmuch as he was +enchanted; and of this he was convinced by seeing that Rocinante never +stirred, much or little, and he felt persuaded that he and his horse were +to remain in this state, without eating or drinking or sleeping, until +the malign influence of the stars was overpast, or until some other more +sage enchanter should disenchant him. + +But he was very much deceived in this conclusion, for daylight had hardly +begun to appear when there came up to the inn four men on horseback, well +equipped and accoutred, with firelocks across their saddle-bows. They +called out and knocked loudly at the gate of the inn, which was still +shut; on seeing which, Don Quixote, even there where he was, did not +forget to act as sentinel, and said in a loud and imperious tone, +"Knights, or squires, or whatever ye be, ye have no right to knock at the +gates of this castle; for it is plain enough that they who are within are +either asleep, or else are not in the habit of throwing open the fortress +until the sun's rays are spread over the whole surface of the earth. +Withdraw to a distance, and wait till it is broad daylight, and then we +shall see whether it will be proper or not to open to you." + +"What the devil fortress or castle is this," said one, "to make us stand +on such ceremony? If you are the innkeeper bid them open to us; we are +travellers who only want to feed our horses and go on, for we are in +haste." + +"Do you think, gentlemen, that I look like an innkeeper?" said Don +Quixote. + +"I don't know what you look like," replied the other; "but I know that +you are talking nonsense when you call this inn a castle." + +"A castle it is," returned Don Quixote, "nay, more, one of the best in +this whole province, and it has within it people who have had the sceptre +in the hand and the crown on the head." + +"It would be better if it were the other way," said the traveller, "the +sceptre on the head and the crown in the hand; but if so, may be there is +within some company of players, with whom it is a common thing to have +those crowns and sceptres you speak of; for in such a small inn as this, +and where such silence is kept, I do not believe any people entitled to +crowns and sceptres can have taken up their quarters." + +"You know but little of the world," returned Don Quixote, "since you are +ignorant of what commonly occurs in knight-errantry." + +But the comrades of the spokesman, growing weary of the dialogue with Don +Quixote, renewed their knocks with great vehemence, so much so that the +host, and not only he but everybody in the inn, awoke, and he got up to +ask who knocked. It happened at this moment that one of the horses of the +four who were seeking admittance went to smell Rocinante, who melancholy, +dejected, and with drooping ears stood motionless, supporting his sorely +stretched master; and as he was, after all, flesh, though he looked as if +he were made of wood, he could not help giving way and in return smelling +the one who had come to offer him attentions. But he had hardly moved at +all when Don Quixote lost his footing; and slipping off the saddle, he +would have come to the ground, but for being suspended by the arm, which +caused him such agony that he believed either his wrist would be cut +through or his arm torn off; and he hung so near the ground that he could +just touch it with his feet, which was all the worse for him; for, +finding how little was wanted to enable him to plant his feet firmly, he +struggled and stretched himself as much as he could to gain a footing; +just like those undergoing the torture of the strappado, when they are +fixed at "touch and no touch," who aggravate their own sufferings by +their violent efforts to stretch themselves, deceived by the hope which +makes them fancy that with a very little more they will reach the ground. + +Chapter XLIV. - +In which are continued the unheard-of adventures of the inn + +So loud, in fact, were the shouts of Don Quixote, that the landlord +opening the gate of the inn in all haste, came out in dismay, and ran to +see who was uttering such cries, and those who were outside joined him. +Maritornes, who had been by this time roused up by the same outcry, +suspecting what it was, ran to the loft and, without anyone seeing her, +untied the halter by which Don Quixote was suspended, and down he came to +the ground in the sight of the landlord and the travellers, who +approaching asked him what was the matter with him that he shouted so. He +without replying a word took the rope off his wrist, and rising to his +feet leaped upon Rocinante, braced his buckler on his arm, put his lance +in rest, and making a considerable circuit of the plain came back at a +half-gallop exclaiming: + +"Whoever shall say that I have been enchanted with just cause, provided +my lady the Princess Micomicona grants me permission to do so, I give him +the lie, challenge him and defy him to single combat." + +The newly arrived travellers were amazed at the words of Don Quixote; but +the landlord removed their surprise by telling them who he was, and not +to mind him as he was out of his senses. They then asked the landlord if +by any chance a youth of about fifteen years of age had come to that inn, +one dressed like a muleteer, and of such and such an appearance, +describing that of Dona Clara's lover. The landlord replied that there +were so many people in the inn he had not noticed the person they were +inquiring for; but one of them observing the coach in which the Judge had +come, said, "He is here no doubt, for this is the coach he is following: +let one of us stay at the gate, and the rest go in to look for him; or +indeed it would be as well if one of us went round the inn, lest he +should escape over the wall of the yard." "So be it," said another; and +while two of them went in, one remained at the gate and the other made +the circuit of the inn; observing all which, the landlord was unable to +conjecture for what reason they were taking all these precautions, though +he understood they were looking for the youth whose description they had +given him. + +It was by this time broad daylight; and for that reason, as well as in +consequence of the noise Don Quixote had made, everybody was awake and +up, but particularly Dona Clara and Dorothea; for they had been able to +sleep but badly that night, the one from agitation at having her lover so +near her, the other from curiosity to see him. Don Quixote, when he saw +that not one of the four travellers took any notice of him or replied to +his challenge, was furious and ready to die with indignation and wrath; +and if he could have found in the ordinances of chivalry that it was +lawful for a knight-errant to undertake or engage in another enterprise, +when he had plighted his word and faith not to involve himself in any +until he had made an end of the one to which he was pledged, he would +have attacked the whole of them, and would have made them return an +answer in spite of themselves. But considering that it would not become +him, nor be right, to begin any new emprise until he had established +Micomicona in her kingdom, he was constrained to hold his peace and wait +quietly to see what would be the upshot of the proceedings of those same +travellers; one of whom found the youth they were seeking lying asleep by +the side of a muleteer, without a thought of anyone coming in search of +him, much less finding him. + +The man laid hold of him by the arm, saying, "It becomes you well indeed, +Senor Don Luis, to be in the dress you wear, and well the bed in which I +find you agrees with the luxury in which your mother reared you." + +The youth rubbed his sleepy eyes and stared for a while at him who held +him, but presently recognised him as one of his father's servants, at +which he was so taken aback that for some time he could not find or utter +a word; while the servant went on to say, "There is nothing for it now, +Senor Don Luis, but to submit quietly and return home, unless it is your +wish that my lord, your father, should take his departure for the other +world, for nothing else can be the consequence of the grief he is in at +your absence." + +"But how did my father know that I had gone this road and in this dress?" +said Don Luis. + +"It was a student to whom you confided your intentions," answered the +servant, "that disclosed them, touched with pity at the distress he saw +your father suffer on missing you; he therefore despatched four of his +servants in quest of you, and here we all are at your service, better +pleased than you can imagine that we shall return so soon and be able to +restore you to those eyes that so yearn for you." + +"That shall be as I please, or as heaven orders," returned Don Luis. + +"What can you please or heaven order," said the other, "except to agree +to go back? Anything else is impossible." + +All this conversation between the two was overheard by the muleteer at +whose side Don Luis lay, and rising, he went to report what had taken +place to Don Fernando, Cardenio, and the others, who had by this time +dressed themselves; and told them how the man had addressed the youth as +"Don," and what words had passed, and how he wanted him to return to his +father, which the youth was unwilling to do. With this, and what they +already knew of the rare voice that heaven had bestowed upon him, they +all felt very anxious to know more particularly who he was, and even to +help him if it was attempted to employ force against him; so they +hastened to where he was still talking and arguing with his servant. +Dorothea at this instant came out of her room, followed by Dona Clara all +in a tremor; and calling Cardenio aside, she told him in a few words the +story of the musician and Dona Clara, and he at the same time told her +what had happened, how his father's servants had come in search of him; +but in telling her so, he did not speak low enough but that Dona Clara +heard what he said, at which she was so much agitated that had not +Dorothea hastened to support her she would have fallen to the ground. +Cardenio then bade Dorothea return to her room, as he would endeavour to +make the whole matter right, and they did as he desired. All the four who +had come in quest of Don Luis had now come into the inn and surrounded +him, urging him to return and console his father at once and without a +moment's delay. He replied that he could not do so on any account until +he had concluded some business in which his life, honour, and heart were +at stake. The servants pressed him, saying that most certainly they would +not return without him, and that they would take him away whether he +liked it or not. + +"You shall not do that," replied Don Luis, "unless you take me dead; +though however you take me, it will be without life." + +By this time most of those in the inn had been attracted by the dispute, +but particularly Cardenio, Don Fernando, his companions, the Judge, the +curate, the barber, and Don Quixote; for he now considered there was no +necessity for mounting guard over the castle any longer. Cardenio being +already acquainted with the young man's story, asked the men who wanted +to take him away, what object they had in seeking to carry off this youth +against his will. + +"Our object," said one of the four, "is to save the life of his father, +who is in danger of losing it through this gentleman's disappearance." + +Upon this Don Luis exclaimed, "There is no need to make my affairs public +here; I am free, and I will return if I please; and if not, none of you +shall compel me." + +"Reason will compel your worship," said the man, "and if it has no power +over you, it has power over us, to make us do what we came for, and what +it is our duty to do." + +"Let us hear what the whole affair is about," said the Judge at this; but +the man, who knew him as a neighbour of theirs, replied, "Do you not know +this gentleman, Senor Judge? He is the son of your neighbour, who has run +away from his father's house in a dress so unbecoming his rank, as your +worship may perceive." + +The judge on this looked at him more carefully and recognised him, and +embracing him said, "What folly is this, Senor Don Luis, or what can have +been the cause that could have induced you to come here in this way, and +in this dress, which so ill becomes your condition?" + +Tears came into the eyes of the young man, and he was unable to utter a +word in reply to the Judge, who told the four servants not to be uneasy, +for all would be satisfactorily settled; and then taking Don Luis by the +hand, he drew him aside and asked the reason of his having come there. + +But while he was questioning him they heard a loud outcry at the gate of +the inn, the cause of which was that two of the guests who had passed the +night there, seeing everybody busy about finding out what it was the four +men wanted, had conceived the idea of going off without paying what they +owed; but the landlord, who minded his own affairs more than other +people's, caught them going out of the gate and demanded his reckoning, +abusing them for their dishonesty with such language that he drove them +to reply with their fists, and so they began to lay on him in such a +style that the poor man was forced to cry out, and call for help. The +landlady and her daughter could see no one more free to give aid than Don +Quixote, and to him the daughter said, "Sir knight, by the virtue God has +given you, help my poor father, for two wicked men are beating him to a +mummy." + +To which Don Quixote very deliberately and phlegmatically replied, "Fair +damsel, at the present moment your request is inopportune, for I am +debarred from involving myself in any adventure until I have brought to a +happy conclusion one to which my word has pledged me; but that which I +can do for you is what I will now mention: run and tell your father to +stand his ground as well as he can in this battle, and on no account to +allow himself to be vanquished, while I go and request permission of the +Princess Micomicona to enable me to succour him in his distress; and if +she grants it, rest assured I will relieve him from it." + +"Sinner that I am," exclaimed Maritornes, who stood by; "before you have +got your permission my master will be in the other world." + +"Give me leave, senora, to obtain the permission I speak of," returned +Don Quixote; "and if I get it, it will matter very little if he is in the +other world; for I will rescue him thence in spite of all the same world +can do; or at any rate I will give you such a revenge over those who +shall have sent him there that you will be more than moderately +satisfied;" and without saying anything more he went and knelt before +Dorothea, requesting her Highness in knightly and errant phrase to be +pleased to grant him permission to aid and succour the castellan of that +castle, who now stood in grievous jeopardy. The princess granted it +graciously, and he at once, bracing his buckler on his arm and drawing +his sword, hastened to the inn-gate, where the two guests were still +handling the landlord roughly; but as soon as he reached the spot he +stopped short and stood still, though Maritornes and the landlady asked +him why he hesitated to help their master and husband. + +"I hesitate," said Don Quixote, "because it is not lawful for me to draw +sword against persons of squirely condition; but call my squire Sancho to +me; for this defence and vengeance are his affair and business." + +Thus matters stood at the inn-gate, where there was a very lively +exchange of fisticuffs and punches, to the sore damage of the landlord +and to the wrath of Maritornes, the landlady, and her daughter, who were +furious when they saw the pusillanimity of Don Quixote, and the hard +treatment their master, husband and father was undergoing. But let us +leave him there; for he will surely find some one to help him, and if +not, let him suffer and hold his tongue who attempts more than his +strength allows him to do; and let us go back fifty paces to see what Don +Luis said in reply to the Judge whom we left questioning him privately as +to his reasons for coming on foot and so meanly dressed. + +To which the youth, pressing his hand in a way that showed his heart was +troubled by some great sorrow, and shedding a flood of tears, made +answer: + +"Senor, I have no more to tell you than that from the moment when, +through heaven's will and our being near neighbours, I first saw Dona +Clara, your daughter and my lady, from that instant I made her the +mistress of my will, and if yours, my true lord and father, offers no +impediment, this very day she shall become my wife. For her I left my +father's house, and for her I assumed this disguise, to follow her +whithersoever she may go, as the arrow seeks its mark or the sailor the +pole-star. She knows nothing more of my passion than what she may have +learned from having sometimes seen from a distance that my eyes were +filled with tears. You know already, senor, the wealth and noble birth of +my parents, and that I am their sole heir; if this be a sufficient +inducement for you to venture to make me completely happy, accept me at +once as your son; for if my father, influenced by other objects of his +own, should disapprove of this happiness I have sought for myself, time +has more power to alter and change things, than human will." + +With this the love-smitten youth was silent, while the Judge, after +hearing him, was astonished, perplexed, and surprised, as well at the +manner and intelligence with which Don Luis had confessed the secret of +his heart, as at the position in which he found himself, not knowing what +course to take in a matter so sudden and unexpected. All the answer, +therefore, he gave him was to bid him to make his mind easy for the +present, and arrange with his servants not to take him back that day, so +that there might be time to consider what was best for all parties. Don +Luis kissed his hands by force, nay, bathed them with his tears, in a way +that would have touched a heart of marble, not to say that of the Judge, +who, as a shrewd man, had already perceived how advantageous the marriage +would be to his daughter; though, were it possible, he would have +preferred that it should be brought about with the consent of the father +of Don Luis, who he knew looked for a title for his son. + +The guests had by this time made peace with the landlord, for, by +persuasion and Don Quixote's fair words more than by threats, they had +paid him what he demanded, and the servants of Don Luis were waiting for +the end of the conversation with the Judge and their master's decision, +when the devil, who never sleeps, contrived that the barber, from whom +Don Quixote had taken Mambrino's helmet, and Sancho Panza the trappings +of his ass in exchange for those of his own, should at this instant enter +the inn; which said barber, as he led his ass to the stable, observed +Sancho Panza engaged in repairing something or other belonging to the +pack-saddle; and the moment he saw it he knew it, and made bold to attack +Sancho, exclaiming, "Ho, sir thief, I have caught you! hand over my basin +and my pack-saddle, and all my trappings that you robbed me of." + +Sancho, finding himself so unexpectedly assailed, and hearing the abuse +poured upon him, seized the pack-saddle with one hand, and with the other +gave the barber a cuff that bathed his teeth in blood. The barber, +however, was not so ready to relinquish the prize he had made in the +pack-saddle; on the contrary, he raised such an outcry that everyone in +the inn came running to know what the noise and quarrel meant. "Here, in +the name of the king and justice!" he cried, "this thief and highwayman +wants to kill me for trying to recover my property." + +"You lie," said Sancho, "I am no highwayman; it was in fair war my master +Don Quixote won these spoils." + +Don Quixote was standing by at the time, highly pleased to see his +squire's stoutness, both offensive and defensive, and from that time +forth he reckoned him a man of mettle, and in his heart resolved to dub +him a knight on the first opportunity that presented itself, feeling sure +that the order of chivalry would be fittingly bestowed upon him. + +In the course of the altercation, among other things the barber said, +"Gentlemen, this pack-saddle is mine as surely as I owe God a death, and +I know it as well as if I had given birth to it, and here is my ass in +the stable who will not let me lie; only try it, and if it does not fit +him like a glove, call me a rascal; and what is more, the same day I was +robbed of this, they robbed me likewise of a new brass basin, never yet +handselled, that would fetch a crown any day." + +At this Don Quixote could not keep himself from answering; and +interposing between the two, and separating them, he placed the +pack-saddle on the ground, to lie there in sight until the truth was +established, and said, "Your worships may perceive clearly and plainly +the error under which this worthy squire lies when he calls a basin which +was, is, and shall be the helmet of Mambrino which I won from him in air +war, and made myself master of by legitimate and lawful possession. With +the pack-saddle I do not concern myself; but I may tell you on that head +that my squire Sancho asked my permission to strip off the caparison of +this vanquished poltroon's steed, and with it adorn his own; I allowed +him, and he took it; and as to its having been changed from a caparison +into a pack-saddle, I can give no explanation except the usual one, that +such transformations will take place in adventures of chivalry. To +confirm all which, run, Sancho my son, and fetch hither the helmet which +this good fellow calls a basin." + +"Egad, master," said Sancho, "if we have no other proof of our case than +what your worship puts forward, Mambrino's helmet is just as much a basin +as this good fellow's caparison is a pack-saddle." + +"Do as I bid thee," said Don Quixote; "it cannot be that everything in +this castle goes by enchantment." + +Sancho hastened to where the basin was, and brought it back with him, and +when Don Quixote saw it, he took hold of it and said: + +"Your worships may see with what a face this squire can assert that this +is a basin and not the helmet I told you of; and I swear by the order of +chivalry I profess, that this helmet is the identical one I took from +him, without anything added to or taken from it." + +"There is no doubt of that," said Sancho, "for from the time my master +won it until now he has only fought one battle in it, when he let loose +those unlucky men in chains; and if had not been for this basin-helmet he +would not have come off over well that time, for there was plenty of +stone-throwing in that affair." + +Chapter XLV. - +In which the doubtful question of Mambrino's helmet and the pack-saddle +is finally settled, with other adventures that occurred in truth and +earnest + +"What do you think now, gentlemen," said the barber, "of what these +gentles say, when they want to make out that this is a helmet?" + +"And whoever says the contrary," said Don Quixote, "I will let him know +he lies if he is a knight, and if he is a squire that he lies again a +thousand times." + +Our own barber, who was present at all this, and understood Don Quixote's +humour so thoroughly, took it into his head to back up his delusion and +carry on the joke for the general amusement; so addressing the other +barber he said: + +"Senor barber, or whatever you are, you must know that I belong to your +profession too, and have had a licence to practise for more than twenty +years, and I know the implements of the barber craft, every one of them, +perfectly well; and I was likewise a soldier for some time in the days of +my youth, and I know also what a helmet is, and a morion, and a headpiece +with a visor, and other things pertaining to soldiering, I meant to say +to soldiers' arms; and I say-saving better opinions and always with +submission to sounder judgments--that this piece we have now before us, +which this worthy gentleman has in his hands, not only is no barber's +basin, but is as far from being one as white is from black, and truth +from falsehood; I say, moreover, that this, although it is a helmet, is +not a complete helmet." + +"Certainly not," said Don Quixote, "for half of it is wanting, that is to +say the beaver." + +"It is quite true," said the curate, who saw the object of his friend the +barber; and Cardenio, Don Fernando and his companions agreed with him, +and even the Judge, if his thoughts had not been so full of Don Luis's +affair, would have helped to carry on the joke; but he was so taken up +with the serious matters he had on his mind that he paid little or no +attention to these facetious proceedings. + +"God bless me!" exclaimed their butt the barber at this; "is it possible +that such an honourable company can say that this is not a basin but a +helmet? Why, this is a thing that would astonish a whole university, +however wise it might be! That will do; if this basin is a helmet, why, +then the pack-saddle must be a horse's caparison, as this gentleman has +said." + +"To me it looks like a pack-saddle," said Don Quixote; "but I have +already said that with that question I do not concern myself." + +"As to whether it be pack-saddle or caparison," said the curate, "it is +only for Senor Don Quixote to say; for in these matters of chivalry all +these gentlemen and I bow to his authority." + +"By God, gentlemen," said Don Quixote, "so many strange things have +happened to me in this castle on the two occasions on which I have +sojourned in it, that I will not venture to assert anything positively in +reply to any question touching anything it contains; for it is my belief +that everything that goes on within it goes by enchantment. The first +time, an enchanted Moor that there is in it gave me sore trouble, nor did +Sancho fare well among certain followers of his; and last night I was +kept hanging by this arm for nearly two hours, without knowing how or why +I came by such a mishap. So that now, for me to come forward to give an +opinion in such a puzzling matter, would be to risk a rash decision. As +regards the assertion that this is a basin and not a helmet I have +already given an answer; but as to the question whether this is a +pack-saddle or a caparison I will not venture to give a positive opinion, +but will leave it to your worships' better judgment. Perhaps as you are +not dubbed knights like myself, the enchantments of this place have +nothing to do with you, and your faculties are unfettered, and you can +see things in this castle as they really and truly are, and not as they +appear to me." + +"There can be no question," said Don Fernando on this, "but that Senor +Don Quixote has spoken very wisely, and that with us rests the decision +of this matter; and that we may have surer ground to go on, I will take +the votes of the gentlemen in secret, and declare the result clearly and +fully." + +To those who were in the secret of Don Quixote's humour all this afforded +great amusement; but to those who knew nothing about it, it seemed the +greatest nonsense in the world, in particular to the four servants of Don +Luis, as well as to Don Luis himself, and to three other travellers who +had by chance come to the inn, and had the appearance of officers of the +Holy Brotherhood, as indeed they were; but the one who above all was at +his wits' end, was the barber basin, there before his very eyes, had been +turned into Mambrino's helmet, and whose pack-saddle he had no doubt +whatever was about to become a rich caparison for a horse. All laughed to +see Don Fernando going from one to another collecting the votes, and +whispering to them to give him their private opinion whether the treasure +over which there had been so much fighting was a pack-saddle or a +caparison; but after he had taken the votes of those who knew Don +Quixote, he said aloud, "The fact is, my good fellow, that I am tired +collecting such a number of opinions, for I find that there is not one of +whom I ask what I desire to know, who does not tell me that it is absurd +to say that this is the pack-saddle of an ass, and not the caparison of a +horse, nay, of a thoroughbred horse; so you must submit, for, in spite of +you and your ass, this is a caparison and no pack-saddle, and you have +stated and proved your case very badly." + +"May I never share heaven," said the poor barber, "if your worships are +not all mistaken; and may my soul appear before God as that appears to me +a pack-saddle and not a caparison; but, 'laws go,'-I say no more; and +indeed I am not drunk, for I am fasting, except it be from sin." + +The simple talk of the barber did not afford less amusement than the +absurdities of Don Quixote, who now observed: + +"There is no more to be done now than for each to take what belongs to +him, and to whom God has given it, may St. Peter add his blessing." + +But said one of the four servants, "Unless, indeed, this is a deliberate +joke, I cannot bring myself to believe that men so intelligent as those +present are, or seem to be, can venture to declare and assert that this +is not a basin, and that not a pack-saddle; but as I perceive that they +do assert and declare it, I can only come to the conclusion that there is +some mystery in this persistence in what is so opposed to the evidence of +experience and truth itself; for I swear by"--and here he rapped out a +round oath-"all the people in the world will not make me believe that +this is not a barber's basin and that a jackass's pack-saddle." + +"It might easily be a she-ass's," observed the curate. + +"It is all the same," said the servant; "that is not the point; but +whether it is or is not a pack-saddle, as your worships say." + +On hearing this one of the newly arrived officers of the Brotherhood, who +had been listening to the dispute and controversy, unable to restrain his +anger and impatience, exclaimed, "It is a pack-saddle as sure as my +father is my father, and whoever has said or will say anything else must +be drunk." + +"You lie like a rascally clown," returned Don Quixote; and lifting his +pike, which he had never let out of his hand, he delivered such a blow at +his head that, had not the officer dodged it, it would have stretched him +at full length. The pike was shivered in pieces against the ground, and +the rest of the officers, seeing their comrade assaulted, raised a shout, +calling for help for the Holy Brotherhood. The landlord, who was of the +fraternity, ran at once to fetch his staff of office and his sword, and +ranged himself on the side of his comrades; the servants of Don Luis +clustered round him, lest he should escape from them in the confusion; +the barber, seeing the house turned upside down, once more laid hold of +his pack-saddle and Sancho did the same; Don Quixote drew his sword and +charged the officers; Don Luis cried out to his servants to leave him +alone and go and help Don Quixote, and Cardenio and Don Fernando, who +were supporting him; the curate was shouting at the top of his voice, the +landlady was screaming, her daughter was wailing, Maritornes was weeping, +Dorothea was aghast, Luscinda terror-stricken, and Dona Clara in a faint. +The barber cudgelled Sancho, and Sancho pommelled the barber; Don Luis +gave one of his servants, who ventured to catch him by the arm to keep +him from escaping, a cuff that bathed his teeth in blood; the Judge took +his part; Don Fernando had got one of the officers down and was +belabouring him heartily; the landlord raised his voice again calling for +help for the Holy Brotherhood; so that the whole inn was nothing but +cries, shouts, shrieks, confusion, terror, dismay, mishaps, sword-cuts, +fisticuffs, cudgellings, kicks, and bloodshed; and in the midst of all +this chaos, complication, and general entanglement, Don Quixote took it +into his head that he had been plunged into the thick of the discord of +Agramante's camp; and, in a voice that shook the inn like thunder, he +cried out: + +"Hold all, let all sheathe their swords, let all be calm and attend to me +as they value their lives!" + +All paused at his mighty voice, and he went on to say, "Did I not tell +you, sirs, that this castle was enchanted, and that a legion or so of +devils dwelt in it? In proof whereof I call upon you to behold with your +own eyes how the discord of Agramante's camp has come hither, and been +transferred into the midst of us. See how they fight, there for the +sword, here for the horse, on that side for the eagle, on this for the +helmet; we are all fighting, and all at cross purposes. Come then, you, +Senor Judge, and you, senor curate; let the one represent King Agramante +and the other King Sobrino, and make peace among us; for by God Almighty +it is a sorry business that so many persons of quality as we are should +slay one another for such trifling cause." The officers, who did not +understand Don Quixote's mode of speaking, and found themselves roughly +handled by Don Fernando, Cardenio, and their companions, were not to be +appeased; the barber was, however, for both his beard and his pack-saddle +were the worse for the struggle; Sancho like a good servant obeyed the +slightest word of his master; while the four servants of Don Luis kept +quiet when they saw how little they gained by not being so. The landlord +alone insisted upon it that they must punish the insolence of this +madman, who at every turn raised a disturbance in the inn; but at length +the uproar was stilled for the present; the pack-saddle remained a +caparison till the day of judgment, and the basin a helmet and the inn a +castle in Don Quixote's imagination. + +All having been now pacified and made friends by the persuasion of the +Judge and the curate, the servants of Don Luis began again to urge him to +return with them at once; and while he was discussing the matter with +them, the Judge took counsel with Don Fernando, Cardenio, and the curate +as to what he ought to do in the case, telling them how it stood, and +what Don Luis had said to him. It was agreed at length that Don Fernando +should tell the servants of Don Luis who he was, and that it was his +desire that Don Luis should accompany him to Andalusia, where he would +receive from the marquis his brother the welcome his quality entitled him +to; for, otherwise, it was easy to see from the determination of Don Luis +that he would not return to his father at present, though they tore him +to pieces. On learning the rank of Don Fernando and the resolution of Don +Luis the four then settled it between themselves that three of them +should return to tell his father how matters stood, and that the other +should remain to wait upon Don Luis, and not leave him until they came +back for him, or his father's orders were known. Thus by the authority of +Agramante and the wisdom of King Sobrino all this complication of +disputes was arranged; but the enemy of concord and hater of peace, +feeling himself slighted and made a fool of, and seeing how little he had +gained after having involved them all in such an elaborate entanglement, +resolved to try his hand once more by stirring up fresh quarrels and +disturbances. + +It came about in this wise: the officers were pacified on learning the +rank of those with whom they had been engaged, and withdrew from the +contest, considering that whatever the result might be they were likely +to get the worst of the battle; but one of them, the one who had been +thrashed and kicked by Don Fernando, recollected that among some warrants +he carried for the arrest of certain delinquents, he had one against Don +Quixote, whom the Holy Brotherhood had ordered to be arrested for setting +the galley slaves free, as Sancho had, with very good reason, +apprehended. Suspecting how it was, then, he wished to satisfy himself as +to whether Don Quixote's features corresponded; and taking a parchment +out of his bosom he lit upon what he was in search of, and setting +himself to read it deliberately, for he was not a quick reader, as he +made out each word he fixed his eyes on Don Quixote, and went on +comparing the description in the warrant with his face, and discovered +that beyond all doubt he was the person described in it. As soon as he +had satisfied himself, folding up the parchment, he took the warrant in +his left hand and with his right seized Don Quixote by the collar so +tightly that he did not allow him to breathe, and shouted aloud, "Help +for the Holy Brotherhood! and that you may see I demand it in earnest, +read this warrant which says this highwayman is to be arrested." + +The curate took the warrant and saw that what the officer said was true, +and that it agreed with Don Quixote's appearance, who, on his part, when +he found himself roughly handled by this rascally clown, worked up to the +highest pitch of wrath, and all his joints cracking with rage, with both +hands seized the officer by the throat with all his might, so that had he +not been helped by his comrades he would have yielded up his life ere Don +Quixote released his hold. The landlord, who had perforce to support his +brother officers, ran at once to aid them. The landlady, when she saw her +husband engaged in a fresh quarrel, lifted up her voice afresh, and its +note was immediately caught up by Maritornes and her daughter, calling +upon heaven and all present for help; and Sancho, seeing what was going +on, exclaimed, "By the Lord, it is quite true what my master says about +the enchantments of this castle, for it is impossible to live an hour in +peace in it!" + +Don Fernando parted the officer and Don Quixote, and to their mutual +contentment made them relax the grip by which they held, the one the coat +collar, the other the throat of his adversary; for all this, however, the +officers did not cease to demand their prisoner and call on them to help, +and deliver him over bound into their power, as was required for the +service of the King and of the Holy Brotherhood, on whose behalf they +again demanded aid and assistance to effect the capture of this robber +and footpad of the highways. + +Don Quixote smiled when he heard these words, and said very calmly, "Come +now, base, ill-born brood; call ye it highway robbery to give freedom to +those in bondage, to release the captives, to succour the miserable, to +raise up the fallen, to relieve the needy? Infamous beings, who by your +vile grovelling intellects deserve that heaven should not make known to +you the virtue that lies in knight-errantry, or show you the sin and +ignorance in which ye lie when ye refuse to respect the shadow, not to +say the presence, of any knight-errant! Come now; band, not of officers, +but of thieves; footpads with the licence of the Holy Brotherhood; tell +me who was the ignoramus who signed a warrant of arrest against such a +knight as I am? Who was he that did not know that knights-errant are +independent of all jurisdictions, that their law is their sword, their +charter their prowess, and their edicts their will? Who, I say again, was +the fool that knows not that there are no letters patent of nobility that +confer such privileges or exemptions as a knight-errant acquires the day +he is dubbed a knight, and devotes himself to the arduous calling of +chivalry? What knight-errant ever paid poll-tax, duty, queen's pin-money, +king's dues, toll or ferry? What tailor ever took payment of him for +making his clothes? What castellan that received him in his castle ever +made him pay his shot? What king did not seat him at his table? What +damsel was not enamoured of him and did not yield herself up wholly to +his will and pleasure? And, lastly, what knight-errant has there been, is +there, or will there ever be in the world, not bold enough to give, +single-handed, four hundred cudgellings to four hundred officers of the +Holy Brotherhood if they come in his way?" + +Chapter XLVI. - +Of the end of the notable adventure of the officers of the holy +brotherhood; and of the great ferocity of our worthy Knight, Don Quixote + +While Don Quixote was talking in this strain, the curate was endeavouring +to persuade the officers that he was out of his senses, as they might +perceive by his deeds and his words, and that they need not press the +matter any further, for even if they arrested him and carried him off, +they would have to release him by-and-by as a madman; to which the holder +of the warrant replied that he had nothing to do with inquiring into Don +Quixote's madness, but only to execute his superior's orders, and that +once taken they might let him go three hundred times if they liked. + +"For all that," said the curate, "you must not take him away this time, +nor will he, it is my opinion, let himself be taken away." + +In short, the curate used such arguments, and Don Quixote did such mad +things, that the officers would have been more mad than he was if they +had not perceived his want of wits, and so they thought it best to allow +themselves to be pacified, and even to act as peacemakers between the +barber and Sancho Panza, who still continued their altercation with much +bitterness. In the end they, as officers of justice, settled the question +by arbitration in such a manner that both sides were, if not perfectly +contented, at least to some extent satisfied; for they changed the +pack-saddles, but not the girths or head-stalls; and as to Mambrino's +helmet, the curate, under the rose and without Don Quixote's knowing it, +paid eight reals for the basin, and the barber executed a full receipt +and engagement to make no further demand then or thenceforth for +evermore, amen. These two disputes, which were the most important and +gravest, being settled, it only remained for the servants of Don Luis to +consent that three of them should return while one was left to accompany +him whither Don Fernando desired to take him; and good luck and better +fortune, having already begun to solve difficulties and remove +obstructions in favour of the lovers and warriors of the inn, were +pleased to persevere and bring everything to a happy issue; for the +servants agreed to do as Don Luis wished; which gave Dona Clara such +happiness that no one could have looked into her face just then without +seeing the joy of her heart. Zoraida, though she did not fully comprehend +all she saw, was grave or gay without knowing why, as she watched and +studied the various countenances, but particularly her Spaniard's, whom +she followed with her eyes and clung to with her soul. The gift and +compensation which the curate gave the barber had not escaped the +landlord's notice, and he demanded Don Quixote's reckoning, together with +the amount of the damage to his wine-skins, and the loss of his wine, +swearing that neither Rocinante nor Sancho's ass should leave the inn +until he had been paid to the very last farthing. The curate settled all +amicably, and Don Fernando paid; though the Judge had also very readily +offered to pay the score; and all became so peaceful and quiet that the +inn no longer reminded one of the discord of Agramante's camp, as Don +Quixote said, but of the peace and tranquillity of the days of +Octavianus: for all which it was the universal opinion that their thanks +were due to the great zeal and eloquence of the curate, and to the +unexampled generosity of Don Fernando. + +Finding himself now clear and quit of all quarrels, his squire's as well +as his own, Don Quixote considered that it would be advisable to continue +the journey he had begun, and bring to a close that great adventure for +which he had been called and chosen; and with this high resolve he went +and knelt before Dorothea, who, however, would not allow him to utter a +word until he had risen; so to obey her he rose, and said, "It is a +common proverb, fair lady, that 'diligence is the mother of good +fortune,' and experience has often shown in important affairs that the +earnestness of the negotiator brings the doubtful case to a successful +termination; but in nothing does this truth show itself more plainly than +in war, where quickness and activity forestall the devices of the enemy, +and win the victory before the foe has time to defend himself. All this I +say, exalted and esteemed lady, because it seems to me that for us to +remain any longer in this castle now is useless, and may be injurious to +us in a way that we shall find out some day; for who knows but that your +enemy the giant may have learned by means of secret and diligent spies +that I am going to destroy him, and if the opportunity be given him he +may seize it to fortify himself in some impregnable castle or stronghold, +against which all my efforts and the might of my indefatigable arm may +avail but little? Therefore, lady, let us, as I say, forestall his +schemes by our activity, and let us depart at once in quest of fair +fortune; for your highness is only kept from enjoying it as fully as you +could desire by my delay in encountering your adversary." + +Don Quixote held his peace and said no more, calmly awaiting the reply of +the beauteous princess, who, with commanding dignity and in a style +adapted to Don Quixote's own, replied to him in these words, "I give you +thanks, sir knight, for the eagerness you, like a good knight to whom it +is a natural obligation to succour the orphan and the needy, display to +afford me aid in my sore trouble; and heaven grant that your wishes and +mine may be realised, so that you may see that there are women in this +world capable of gratitude; as to my departure, let it be forthwith, for +I have no will but yours; dispose of me entirely in accordance with your +good pleasure; for she who has once entrusted to you the defence of her +person, and placed in your hands the recovery of her dominions, must not +think of offering opposition to that which your wisdom may ordain." + +"On, then, in God's name," said Don Quixote; "for, when a lady humbles +herself to me, I will not lose the opportunity of raising her up and +placing her on the throne of her ancestors. Let us depart at once, for +the common saying that in delay there is danger, lends spurs to my +eagerness to take the road; and as neither heaven has created nor hell +seen any that can daunt or intimidate me, saddle Rocinante, Sancho, and +get ready thy ass and the queen's palfrey, and let us take leave of the +castellan and these gentlemen, and go hence this very instant." + +Sancho, who was standing by all the time, said, shaking his head, "Ah! +master, master, there is more mischief in the village than one hears of, +begging all good bodies' pardon." + +"What mischief can there be in any village, or in all the cities of the +world, you booby, that can hurt my reputation?" said Don Quixote. + +"If your worship is angry," replied Sancho, "I will hold my tongue and +leave unsaid what as a good squire I am bound to say, and what a good +servant should tell his master." + +"Say what thou wilt," returned Don Quixote, "provided thy words be not +meant to work upon my fears; for thou, if thou fearest, art behaving like +thyself; but I like myself, in not fearing." + +"It is nothing of the sort, as I am a sinner before God," said Sancho, +"but that I take it to be sure and certain that this lady, who calls +herself queen of the great kingdom of Micomicon, is no more so than my +mother; for, if she was what she says, she would not go rubbing noses +with one that is here every instant and behind every door." + +Dorothea turned red at Sancho's words, for the truth was that her husband +Don Fernando had now and then, when the others were not looking, gathered +from her lips some of the reward his love had earned, and Sancho seeing +this had considered that such freedom was more like a courtesan than a +queen of a great kingdom; she, however, being unable or not caring to +answer him, allowed him to proceed, and he continued, "This I say, senor, +because, if after we have travelled roads and highways, and passed bad +nights and worse days, one who is now enjoying himself in this inn is to +reap the fruit of our labours, there is no need for me to be in a hurry +to saddle Rocinante, put the pad on the ass, or get ready the palfrey; +for it will be better for us to stay quiet, and let every jade mind her +spinning, and let us go to dinner." + +Good God, what was the indignation of Don Quixote when he heard the +audacious words of his squire! So great was it, that in a voice +inarticulate with rage, with a stammering tongue, and eyes that flashed +living fire, he exclaimed, "Rascally clown, boorish, insolent, and +ignorant, ill-spoken, foul-mouthed, impudent backbiter and slanderer! +Hast thou dared to utter such words in my presence and in that of these +illustrious ladies? Hast thou dared to harbour such gross and shameless +thoughts in thy muddled imagination? Begone from my presence, thou born +monster, storehouse of lies, hoard of untruths, garner of knaveries, +inventor of scandals, publisher of absurdities, enemy of the respect due +to royal personages! Begone, show thyself no more before me under pain of +my wrath;" and so saying he knitted his brows, puffed out his cheeks, +gazed around him, and stamped on the ground violently with his right +foot, showing in every way the rage that was pent up in his heart; and at +his words and furious gestures Sancho was so scared and terrified that he +would have been glad if the earth had opened that instant and swallowed +him, and his only thought was to turn round and make his escape from the +angry presence of his master. + +But the ready-witted Dorothea, who by this time so well understood Don +Quixote's humour, said, to mollify his wrath, "Be not irritated at the +absurdities your good squire has uttered, Sir Knight of the Rueful +Countenance, for perhaps he did not utter them without cause, and from +his good sense and Christian conscience it is not likely that he would +bear false witness against anyone. We may therefore believe, without any +hesitation, that since, as you say, sir knight, everything in this castle +goes and is brought about by means of enchantment, Sancho, I say, may +possibly have seen, through this diabolical medium, what he says he saw +so much to the detriment of my modesty." + +"I swear by God Omnipotent," exclaimed Don Quixote at this, "your +highness has hit the point; and that some vile illusion must have come +before this sinner of a Sancho, that made him see what it would have been +impossible to see by any other means than enchantments; for I know well +enough, from the poor fellow's goodness and harmlessness, that he is +incapable of bearing false witness against anybody." + +"True, no doubt," said Don Fernando, "for which reason, Senor Don +Quixote, you ought to forgive him and restore him to the bosom of your +favour, sicut erat in principio, before illusions of this sort had taken +away his senses." + +Don Quixote said he was ready to pardon him, and the curate went for +Sancho, who came in very humbly, and falling on his knees begged for the +hand of his master, who having presented it to him and allowed him to +kiss it, gave him his blessing and said, "Now, Sancho my son, thou wilt +be convinced of the truth of what I have many a time told thee, that +everything in this castle is done by means of enchantment." + +"So it is, I believe," said Sancho, "except the affair of the blanket, +which came to pass in reality by ordinary means." + +"Believe it not," said Don Quixote, "for had it been so, I would have +avenged thee that instant, or even now; but neither then nor now could I, +nor have I seen anyone upon whom to avenge thy wrong." + +They were all eager to know what the affair of the blanket was, and the +landlord gave them a minute account of Sancho's flights, at which they +laughed not a little, and at which Sancho would have been no less out of +countenance had not his master once more assured him it was all +enchantment. For all that his simplicity never reached so high a pitch +that he could persuade himself it was not the plain and simple truth, +without any deception whatever about it, that he had been blanketed by +beings of flesh and blood, and not by visionary and imaginary phantoms, +as his master believed and protested. + +The illustrious company had now been two days in the inn; and as it +seemed to them time to depart, they devised a plan so that, without +giving Dorothea and Don Fernando the trouble of going back with Don +Quixote to his village under pretence of restoring Queen Micomicona, the +curate and the barber might carry him away with them as they proposed, +and the curate be able to take his madness in hand at home; and in +pursuance of their plan they arranged with the owner of an oxcart who +happened to be passing that way to carry him after this fashion. They +constructed a kind of cage with wooden bars, large enough to hold Don +Quixote comfortably; and then Don Fernando and his companions, the +servants of Don Luis, and the officers of the Brotherhood, together with +the landlord, by the directions and advice of the curate, covered their +faces and disguised themselves, some in one way, some in another, so as +to appear to Don Quixote quite different from the persons he had seen in +the castle. This done, in profound silence they entered the room where he +was asleep, taking his his rest after the past frays, and advancing to +where he was sleeping tranquilly, not dreaming of anything of the kind +happening, they seized him firmly and bound him fast hand and foot, so +that, when he awoke startled, he was unable to move, and could only +marvel and wonder at the strange figures he saw before him; upon which he +at once gave way to the idea which his crazed fancy invariably conjured +up before him, and took it into his head that all these shapes were +phantoms of the enchanted castle, and that he himself was unquestionably +enchanted as he could neither move nor help himself; precisely what the +curate, the concoctor of the scheme, expected would happen. Of all that +were there Sancho was the only one who was at once in his senses and in +his own proper character, and he, though he was within very little of +sharing his master's infirmity, did not fail to perceive who all these +disguised figures were; but he did not dare to open his lips until he saw +what came of this assault and capture of his master; nor did the latter +utter a word, waiting to the upshot of his mishap; which was that +bringing in the cage, they shut him up in it and nailed the bars so +firmly that they could not be easily burst open. + +They then took him on their shoulders, and as they passed out of the room +an awful voice--as much so as the barber, not he of the pack-saddle but +the other, was able to make it--was heard to say, "O Knight of the Rueful +Countenance, let not this captivity in which thou art placed afflict +thee, for this must needs be, for the more speedy accomplishment of the +adventure in which thy great heart has engaged thee; the which shall be +accomplished when the raging Manchegan lion and the white Tobosan dove +shall be linked together, having first humbled their haughty necks to the +gentle yoke of matrimony. And from this marvellous union shall come forth +to the light of the world brave whelps that shall rival the ravening +claws of their valiant father; and this shall come to pass ere the +pursuer of the flying nymph shall in his swift natural course have twice +visited the starry signs. And thou, O most noble and obedient squire that +ever bore sword at side, beard on face, or nose to smell with, be not +dismayed or grieved to see the flower of knight-errantry carried away +thus before thy very eyes; for soon, if it so please the Framer of the +universe, thou shalt see thyself exalted to such a height that thou shalt +not know thyself, and the promises which thy good master has made thee +shall not prove false; and I assure thee, on the authority of the sage +Mentironiana, that thy wages shall be paid thee, as thou shalt see in due +season. Follow then the footsteps of the valiant enchanted knight, for it +is expedient that thou shouldst go to the destination assigned to both of +you; and as it is not permitted to me to say more, God be with thee; for +I return to that place I wot of;" and as he brought the prophecy to a +close he raised his voice to a high pitch, and then lowered it to such a +soft tone, that even those who knew it was all a joke were almost +inclined to take what they heard seriously. + +Don Quixote was comforted by the prophecy he heard, for he at once +comprehended its meaning perfectly, and perceived it was promised to him +that he should see himself united in holy and lawful matrimony with his +beloved Dulcinea del Toboso, from whose blessed womb should proceed the +whelps, his sons, to the eternal glory of La Mancha; and being thoroughly +and firmly persuaded of this, he lifted up his voice, and with a deep +sigh exclaimed, "Oh thou, whoever thou art, who hast foretold me so much +good, I implore of thee that on my part thou entreat that sage enchanter +who takes charge of my interests, that he leave me not to perish in this +captivity in which they are now carrying me away, ere I see fulfilled +promises so joyful and incomparable as those which have been now made me; +for, let this but come to pass, and I shall glory in the pains of my +prison, find comfort in these chains wherewith they bind me, and regard +this bed whereon they stretch me, not as a hard battle-field, but as a +soft and happy nuptial couch; and touching the consolation of Sancho +Panza, my squire, I rely upon his goodness and rectitude that he will not +desert me in good or evil fortune; for if, by his ill luck or mine, it +may not happen to be in my power to give him the island I have promised, +or any equivalent for it, at least his wages shall not be lost; for in my +will, which is already made, I have declared the sum that shall be paid +to him, measured, not by his many faithful services, but by the means at +my disposal." + +Sancho bowed his head very respectfully and kissed both his hands, for, +being tied together, he could not kiss one; and then the apparitions +lifted the cage upon their shoulders and fixed it upon the ox-cart. + +Chapter XLVII. - +Of the strange manner in which Don Quixote of La Mancha was carried away +enchanted, together with other remarkable incidents + +When Don Quixote saw himself caged and hoisted on the cart in this way, +he said, "Many grave histories of knights-errant have I read; but never +yet have I read, seen, or heard of their carrying off enchanted +knights-errant in this fashion, or at the slow pace that these lazy, +sluggish animals promise; for they always take them away through the air +with marvellous swiftness, enveloped in a dark thick cloud, or on a +chariot of fire, or it may be on some hippogriff or other beast of the +kind; but to carry me off like this on an ox-cart! By God, it puzzles me! +But perhaps the chivalry and enchantments of our day take a different +course from that of those in days gone by; and it may be, too, that as I +am a new knight in the world, and the first to revive the already +forgotten calling of knight-adventurers, they may have newly invented +other kinds of enchantments and other modes of carrying off the +enchanted. What thinkest thou of the matter, Sancho my son?" + +"I don't know what to think," answered Sancho, "not being as well read as +your worship in errant writings; but for all that I venture to say and +swear that these apparitions that are about us are not quite catholic." + +"Catholic!" said Don Quixote. "Father of me! how can they be Catholic +when they are all devils that have taken fantastic shapes to come and do +this, and bring me to this condition? And if thou wouldst prove it, touch +them, and feel them, and thou wilt find they have only bodies of air, and +no consistency except in appearance." + +"By God, master," returned Sancho, "I have touched them already; and that +devil, that goes about there so busily, has firm flesh, and another +property very different from what I have heard say devils have, for by +all accounts they all smell of brimstone and other bad smells; but this +one smells of amber half a league off." Sancho was here speaking of Don +Fernando, who, like a gentleman of his rank, was very likely perfumed as +Sancho said. + +"Marvel not at that, Sancho my friend," said Don Quixote; "for let me +tell thee devils are crafty; and even if they do carry odours about with +them, they themselves have no smell, because they are spirits; or, if +they have any smell, they cannot smell of anything sweet, but of +something foul and fetid; and the reason is that as they carry hell with +them wherever they go, and can get no ease whatever from their torments, +and as a sweet smell is a thing that gives pleasure and enjoyment, it is +impossible that they can smell sweet; if, then, this devil thou speakest +of seems to thee to smell of amber, either thou art deceiving thyself, or +he wants to deceive thee by making thee fancy he is not a devil." + +Such was the conversation that passed between master and man; and Don +Fernando and Cardenio, apprehensive of Sancho's making a complete +discovery of their scheme, towards which he had already gone some way, +resolved to hasten their departure, and calling the landlord aside, they +directed him to saddle Rocinante and put the pack-saddle on Sancho's ass, +which he did with great alacrity. In the meantime the curate had made an +arrangement with the officers that they should bear them company as far +as his village, he paying them so much a day. Cardenio hung the buckler +on one side of the bow of Rocinante's saddle and the basin on the other, +and by signs commanded Sancho to mount his ass and take Rocinante's +bridle, and at each side of the cart he placed two officers with their +muskets; but before the cart was put in motion, out came the landlady and +her daughter and Maritornes to bid Don Quixote farewell, pretending to +weep with grief at his misfortune; and to them Don Quixote said: + +"Weep not, good ladies, for all these mishaps are the lot of those who +follow the profession I profess; and if these reverses did not befall me +I should not esteem myself a famous knight-errant; for such things never +happen to knights of little renown and fame, because nobody in the world +thinks about them; to valiant knights they do, for these are envied for +their virtue and valour by many princes and other knights who compass the +destruction of the worthy by base means. Nevertheless, virtue is of +herself so mighty, that, in spite of all the magic that Zoroaster its +first inventor knew, she will come victorious out of every trial, and +shed her light upon the earth as the sun does upon the heavens. Forgive +me, fair ladies, if, through inadvertence, I have in aught offended you; +for intentionally and wittingly I have never done so to any; and pray to +God that he deliver me from this captivity to which some malevolent +enchanter has consigned me; and should I find myself released therefrom, +the favours that ye have bestowed upon me in this castle shall be held in +memory by me, that I may acknowledge, recognise, and requite them as they +deserve." + +While this was passing between the ladies of the castle and Don Quixote, +the curate and the barber bade farewell to Don Fernando and his +companions, to the captain, his brother, and the ladies, now all made +happy, and in particular to Dorothea and Luscinda. They all embraced one +another, and promised to let each other know how things went with them, +and Don Fernando directed the curate where to write to him, to tell him +what became of Don Quixote, assuring him that there was nothing that +could give him more pleasure than to hear of it, and that he too, on his +part, would send him word of everything he thought he would like to know, +about his marriage, Zoraida's baptism, Don Luis's affair, and Luscinda's +return to her home. The curate promised to comply with his request +carefully, and they embraced once more, and renewed their promises. + +The landlord approached the curate and handed him some papers, saying he +had discovered them in the lining of the valise in which the novel of +"The Ill-advised Curiosity" had been found, and that he might take them +all away with him as their owner had not since returned; for, as he could +not read, he did not want them himself. The curate thanked him, and +opening them he saw at the beginning of the manuscript the words, "Novel +of Rinconete and Cortadillo," by which he perceived that it was a novel, +and as that of "The Ill-advised Curiosity" had been good he concluded +this would be so too, as they were both probably by the same author; so +he kept it, intending to read it when he had an opportunity. He then +mounted and his friend the barber did the same, both masked, so as not to +be recognised by Don Quixote, and set out following in the rear of the +cart. The order of march was this: first went the cart with the owner +leading it; at each side of it marched the officers of the Brotherhood, +as has been said, with their muskets; then followed Sancho Panza on his +ass, leading Rocinante by the bridle; and behind all came the curate and +the barber on their mighty mules, with faces covered, as aforesaid, and a +grave and serious air, measuring their pace to suit the slow steps of the +oxen. Don Quixote was seated in the cage, with his hands tied and his +feet stretched out, leaning against the bars as silent and as patient as +if he were a stone statue and not a man of flesh. Thus slowly and +silently they made, it might be, two leagues, until they reached a valley +which the carter thought a convenient place for resting and feeding his +oxen, and he said so to the curate, but the barber was of opinion that +they ought to push on a little farther, as at the other side of a hill +which appeared close by he knew there was a valley that had more grass +and much better than the one where they proposed to halt; and his advice +was taken and they continued their journey. + +Just at that moment the curate, looking back, saw coming on behind them +six or seven mounted men, well found and equipped, who soon overtook +them, for they were travelling, not at the sluggish, deliberate pace of +oxen, but like men who rode canons' mules, and in haste to take their +noontide rest as soon as possible at the inn which was in sight not a +league off. The quick travellers came up with the slow, and courteous +salutations were exchanged; and one of the new comers, who was, in fact, +a canon of Toledo and master of the others who accompanied him, observing +the regular order of the procession, the cart, the officers, Sancho, +Rocinante, the curate and the barber, and above all Don Quixote caged and +confined, could not help asking what was the meaning of carrying the man +in that fashion; though, from the badges of the officers, he already +concluded that he must be some desperate highwayman or other malefactor +whose punishment fell within the jurisdiction of the Holy Brotherhood. +One of the officers to whom he had put the question, replied, "Let the +gentleman himself tell you the meaning of his going this way, senor, for +we do not know." + +Don Quixote overheard the conversation and said, "Haply, gentlemen, you +are versed and learned in matters of errant chivalry? Because if you are +I will tell you my misfortunes; if not, there is no good in my giving +myself the trouble of relating them;" but here the curate and the barber, +seeing that the travellers were engaged in conversation with Don Quixote, +came forward, in order to answer in such a way as to save their stratagem +from being discovered. + +The canon, replying to Don Quixote, said, "In truth, brother, I know more +about books of chivalry than I do about Villalpando's elements of logic; +so if that be all, you may safely tell me what you please." + +"In God's name, then, senor," replied Don Quixote; "if that be so, I +would have you know that I am held enchanted in this cage by the envy and +fraud of wicked enchanters; for virtue is more persecuted by the wicked +than loved by the good. I am a knight-errant, and not one of those whose +names Fame has never thought of immortalising in her record, but of those +who, in defiance and in spite of envy itself, and all the magicians that +Persia, or Brahmans that India, or Gymnosophists that Ethiopia ever +produced, will place their names in the temple of immortality, to serve +as examples and patterns for ages to come, whereby knights-errant may see +the footsteps in which they must tread if they would attain the summit +and crowning point of honour in arms." + +"What Senor Don Quixote of La Mancha says," observed the curate, "is the +truth; for he goes enchanted in this cart, not from any fault or sins of +his, but because of the malevolence of those to whom virtue is odious and +valour hateful. This, senor, is the Knight of the Rueful Countenance, if +you have ever heard him named, whose valiant achievements and mighty +deeds shall be written on lasting brass and imperishable marble, +notwithstanding all the efforts of envy to obscure them and malice to +hide them." + +When the canon heard both the prisoner and the man who was at liberty +talk in such a strain he was ready to cross himself in his astonishment, +and could not make out what had befallen him; and all his attendants were +in the same state of amazement. + +At this point Sancho Panza, who had drawn near to hear the conversation, +said, in order to make everything plain, "Well, sirs, you may like or +dislike what I am going to say, but the fact of the matter is, my master, +Don Quixote, is just as much enchanted as my mother. He is in his full +senses, he eats and he drinks, and he has his calls like other men and as +he had yesterday, before they caged him. And if that's the case, what do +they mean by wanting me to believe that he is enchanted? For I have heard +many a one say that enchanted people neither eat, nor sleep, nor talk; +and my master, if you don't stop him, will talk more than thirty +lawyers." Then turning to the curate he exclaimed, "Ah, senor curate, +senor curate! do you think I don't know you? Do you think I don't guess +and see the drift of these new enchantments? Well then, I can tell you I +know you, for all your face is covered, and I can tell you I am up to +you, however you may hide your tricks. After all, where envy reigns +virtue cannot live, and where there is niggardliness there can be no +liberality. Ill betide the devil! if it had not been for your worship my +master would be married to the Princess Micomicona this minute, and I +should be a count at least; for no less was to be expected, as well from +the goodness of my master, him of the Rueful Countenance, as from the +greatness of my services. But I see now how true it is what they say in +these parts, that the wheel of fortune turns faster than a mill-wheel, +and that those who were up yesterday are down to-day. I am sorry for my +wife and children, for when they might fairly and reasonably expect to +see their father return to them a governor or viceroy of some island or +kingdom, they will see him come back a horse-boy. I have said all this, +senor curate, only to urge your paternity to lay to your conscience your +ill-treatment of my master; and have a care that God does not call you to +account in another life for making a prisoner of him in this way, and +charge against you all the succours and good deeds that my lord Don +Quixote leaves undone while he is shut up. + +"Trim those lamps there!" exclaimed the barber at this; "so you are of +the same fraternity as your master, too, Sancho? By God, I begin to see +that you will have to keep him company in the cage, and be enchanted like +him for having caught some of his humour and chivalry. It was an evil +hour when you let yourself be got with child by his promises, and that +island you long so much for found its way into your head." + +"I am not with child by anyone," returned Sancho, "nor am I a man to let +myself be got with child, if it was by the King himself. Though I am poor +I am an old Christian, and I owe nothing to nobody, and if I long for an +island, other people long for worse. Each of us is the son of his own +works; and being a man I may come to be pope, not to say governor of an +island, especially as my master may win so many that he will not know +whom to give them to. Mind how you talk, master barber; for shaving is +not everything, and there is some difference between Peter and Peter. I +say this because we all know one another, and it will not do to throw +false dice with me; and as to the enchantment of my master, God knows the +truth; leave it as it is; it only makes it worse to stir it." + +The barber did not care to answer Sancho lest by his plain speaking he +should disclose what the curate and he himself were trying so hard to +conceal; and under the same apprehension the curate had asked the canon +to ride on a little in advance, so that he might tell him the mystery of +this man in the cage, and other things that would amuse him. The canon +agreed, and going on ahead with his servants, listened with attention to +the account of the character, life, madness, and ways of Don Quixote, +given him by the curate, who described to him briefly the beginning and +origin of his craze, and told him the whole story of his adventures up to +his being confined in the cage, together with the plan they had of taking +him home to try if by any means they could discover a cure for his +madness. The canon and his servants were surprised anew when they heard +Don Quixote's strange story, and when it was finished he said, "To tell +the truth, senor curate, I for my part consider what they call books of +chivalry to be mischievous to the State; and though, led by idle and +false taste, I have read the beginnings of almost all that have been +printed, I never could manage to read any one of them from beginning to +end; for it seems to me they are all more or less the same thing; and one +has nothing more in it than another; this no more than that. And in my +opinion this sort of writing and composition is of the same species as +the fables they call the Milesian, nonsensical tales that aim solely at +giving amusement and not instruction, exactly the opposite of the +apologue fables which amuse and instruct at the same time. And though it +may be the chief object of such books to amuse, I do not know how they +can succeed, when they are so full of such monstrous nonsense. For the +enjoyment the mind feels must come from the beauty and harmony which it +perceives or contemplates in the things that the eye or the imagination +brings before it; and nothing that has any ugliness or disproportion +about it can give any pleasure. What beauty, then, or what proportion of +the parts to the whole, or of the whole to the parts, can there be in a +book or fable where a lad of sixteen cuts down a giant as tall as a tower +and makes two halves of him as if he was an almond cake? And when they +want to give us a picture of a battle, after having told us that there +are a million of combatants on the side of the enemy, let the hero of the +book be opposed to them, and we have perforce to believe, whether we like +it or not, that the said knight wins the victory by the single might of +his strong arm. And then, what shall we say of the facility with which a +born queen or empress will give herself over into the arms of some +unknown wandering knight? What mind, that is not wholly barbarous and +uncultured, can find pleasure in reading of how a great tower full of +knights sails away across the sea like a ship with a fair wind, and will +be to-night in Lombardy and to-morrow morning in the land of Prester John +of the Indies, or some other that Ptolemy never described nor Marco Polo +saw? And if, in answer to this, I am told that the authors of books of +the kind write them as fiction, and therefore are not bound to regard +niceties of truth, I would reply that fiction is all the better the more +it looks like truth, and gives the more pleasure the more probability and +possibility there is about it. Plots in fiction should be wedded to the +understanding of the reader, and be constructed in such a way that, +reconciling impossibilities, smoothing over difficulties, keeping the +mind on the alert, they may surprise, interest, divert, and entertain, so +that wonder and delight joined may keep pace one with the other; all +which he will fail to effect who shuns verisimilitude and truth to +nature, wherein lies the perfection of writing. I have never yet seen any +book of chivalry that puts together a connected plot complete in all its +numbers, so that the middle agrees with the beginning, and the end with +the beginning and middle; on the contrary, they construct them with such +a multitude of members that it seems as though they meant to produce a +chimera or monster rather than a well-proportioned figure. And besides +all this they are harsh in their style, incredible in their achievements, +licentious in their amours, uncouth in their courtly speeches, prolix in +their battles, silly in their arguments, absurd in their travels, and, in +short, wanting in everything like intelligent art; for which reason they +deserve to be banished from the Christian commonwealth as a worthless +breed." + +The curate listened to him attentively and felt that he was a man of +sound understanding, and that there was good reason in what he said; so +he told him that, being of the same opinion himself, and bearing a grudge +to books of chivalry, he had burned all Don Quixote's, which were many; +and gave him an account of the scrutiny he had made of them, and of those +he had condemned to the flames and those he had spared, with which the +canon was not a little amused, adding that though he had said so much in +condemnation of these books, still he found one good thing in them, and +that was the opportunity they afforded to a gifted intellect for +displaying itself; for they presented a wide and spacious field over +which the pen might range freely, describing shipwrecks, tempests, +combats, battles, portraying a valiant captain with all the +qualifications requisite to make one, showing him sagacious in foreseeing +the wiles of the enemy, eloquent in speech to encourage or restrain his +soldiers, ripe in counsel, rapid in resolve, as bold in biding his time +as in pressing the attack; now picturing some sad tragic incident, now +some joyful and unexpected event; here a beauteous lady, virtuous, wise, +and modest; there a Christian knight, brave and gentle; here a lawless, +barbarous braggart; there a courteous prince, gallant and gracious; +setting forth the devotion and loyalty of vassals, the greatness and +generosity of nobles. "Or again," said he, "the author may show himself +to be an astronomer, or a skilled cosmographer, or musician, or one +versed in affairs of state, and sometimes he will have a chance of coming +forward as a magician if he likes. He can set forth the craftiness of +Ulysses, the piety of AEneas, the valour of Achilles, the misfortunes of +Hector, the treachery of Sinon, the friendship of Euryalus, the +generosity of Alexander, the boldness of Caesar, the clemency and truth +of Trajan, the fidelity of Zopyrus, the wisdom of Cato, and in short all +the faculties that serve to make an illustrious man perfect, now uniting +them in one individual, again distributing them among many; and if this +be done with charm of style and ingenious invention, aiming at the truth +as much as possible, he will assuredly weave a web of bright and varied +threads that, when finished, will display such perfection and beauty that +it will attain the worthiest object any writing can seek, which, as I +said before, is to give instruction and pleasure combined; for the +unrestricted range of these books enables the author to show his powers, +epic, lyric, tragic, or comic, and all the moods the sweet and winning +arts of poesy and oratory are capable of; for the epic may be written in +prose just as well as in verse." + +Chapter XLVIII. - +In which the Canon pursues the subject of the books of chivalry, with +other matters worthy of his wit + +"It is as you say, senor canon," said the curate; "and for that reason +those who have hitherto written books of the sort deserve all the more +censure for writing without paying any attention to good taste or the +rules of art, by which they might guide themselves and become as famous +in prose as the two princes of Greek and Latin poetry are in verse." + +"I myself, at any rate," said the canon, "was once tempted to write a +book of chivalry in which all the points I have mentioned were to be +observed; and if I must own the truth I have more than a hundred sheets +written; and to try if it came up to my own opinion of it, I showed them +to persons who were fond of this kind of reading, to learned and +intelligent men as well as to ignorant people who cared for nothing but +the pleasure of listening to nonsense, and from all I obtained flattering +approval; nevertheless I proceeded no farther with it, as well because it +seemed to me an occupation inconsistent with my profession, as because I +perceived that the fools are more numerous than the wise; and, though it +is better to be praised by the wise few than applauded by the foolish +many, I have no mind to submit myself to the stupid judgment of the silly +public, to whom the reading of such books falls for the most part. + +"But what most of all made me hold my hand and even abandon all idea of +finishing it was an argument I put to myself taken from the plays that +are acted now-a-days, which was in this wise: if those that are now in +vogue, as well those that are pure invention as those founded on history, +are, all or most of them, downright nonsense and things that have neither +head nor tail, and yet the public listens to them with delight, and +regards and cries them up as perfection when they are so far from it; and +if the authors who write them, and the players who act them, say that +this is what they must be, for the public wants this and will have +nothing else; and that those that go by rule and work out a plot +according to the laws of art will only find some half-dozen intelligent +people to understand them, while all the rest remain blind to the merit +of their composition; and that for themselves it is better to get bread +from the many than praise from the few; then my book will fare the same +way, after I have burnt off my eyebrows in trying to observe the +principles I have spoken of, and I shall be 'the tailor of the corner.' +And though I have sometimes endeavoured to convince actors that they are +mistaken in this notion they have adopted, and that they would attract +more people, and get more credit, by producing plays in accordance with +the rules of art, than by absurd ones, they are so thoroughly wedded to +their own opinion that no argument or evidence can wean them from it. + +"I remember saying one day to one of these obstinate fellows, 'Tell me, +do you not recollect that a few years ago, there were three tragedies +acted in Spain, written by a famous poet of these kingdoms, which were +such that they filled all who heard them with admiration, delight, and +interest, the ignorant as well as the wise, the masses as well as the +higher orders, and brought in more money to the performers, these three +alone, than thirty of the best that have been since produced?' + +"'No doubt,' replied the actor in question, 'you mean the "Isabella," the +"Phyllis," and the "Alexandra."' + +"'Those are the ones I mean,' said I; 'and see if they did not observe +the principles of art, and if, by observing them, they failed to show +their superiority and please all the world; so that the fault does not +lie with the public that insists upon nonsense, but with those who don't +know how to produce something else. "The Ingratitude Revenged" was not +nonsense, nor was there any in "The Numantia," nor any to be found in +"The Merchant Lover," nor yet in "The Friendly Fair Foe," nor in some +others that have been written by certain gifted poets, to their own fame +and renown, and to the profit of those that brought them out;' some +further remarks I added to these, with which, I think, I left him rather +dumbfoundered, but not so satisfied or convinced that I could disabuse +him of his error." + +"You have touched upon a subject, senor canon," observed the curate here, +"that has awakened an old enmity I have against the plays in vogue at the +present day, quite as strong as that which I bear to the books of +chivalry; for while the drama, according to Tully, should be the mirror +of human life, the model of manners, and the image of the truth, those +which are presented now-a-days are mirrors of nonsense, models of folly, +and images of lewdness. For what greater nonsense can there be in +connection with what we are now discussing than for an infant to appear +in swaddling clothes in the first scene of the first act, and in the +second a grown-up bearded man? Or what greater absurdity can there be +than putting before us an old man as a swashbuckler, a young man as a +poltroon, a lackey using fine language, a page giving sage advice, a king +plying as a porter, a princess who is a kitchen-maid? And then what shall +I say of their attention to the time in which the action they represent +may or can take place, save that I have seen a play where the first act +began in Europe, the second in Asia, the third finished in Africa, and no +doubt, had it been in four acts, the fourth would have ended in America, +and so it would have been laid in all four quarters of the globe? And if +truth to life is the main thing the drama should keep in view, how is it +possible for any average understanding to be satisfied when the action is +supposed to pass in the time of King Pepin or Charlemagne, and the +principal personage in it they represent to be the Emperor Heraclius who +entered Jerusalem with the cross and won the Holy Sepulchre, like Godfrey +of Bouillon, there being years innumerable between the one and the other? +or, if the play is based on fiction and historical facts are introduced, +or bits of what occurred to different people and at different times mixed +up with it, all, not only without any semblance of probability, but with +obvious errors that from every point of view are inexcusable? And the +worst of it is, there are ignorant people who say that this is +perfection, and that anything beyond this is affected refinement. And +then if we turn to sacred dramas--what miracles they invent in them! What +apocryphal, ill-devised incidents, attributing to one saint the miracles +of another! And even in secular plays they venture to introduce miracles +without any reason or object except that they think some such miracle, or +transformation as they call it, will come in well to astonish stupid +people and draw them to the play. All this tends to the prejudice of the +truth and the corruption of history, nay more, to the reproach of the +wits of Spain; for foreigners who scrupulously observe the laws of the +drama look upon us as barbarous and ignorant, when they see the absurdity +and nonsense of the plays we produce. Nor will it be a sufficient excuse +to say that the chief object well-ordered governments have in view when +they permit plays to be performed in public is to entertain the people +with some harmless amusement occasionally, and keep it from those evil +humours which idleness is apt to engender; and that, as this may be +attained by any sort of play, good or bad, there is no need to lay down +laws, or bind those who write or act them to make them as they ought to +be made, since, as I say, the object sought for may be secured by any +sort. To this I would reply that the same end would be, beyond all +comparison, better attained by means of good plays than by those that are +not so; for after listening to an artistic and properly constructed play, +the hearer will come away enlivened by the jests, instructed by the +serious parts, full of admiration at the incidents, his wits sharpened by +the arguments, warned by the tricks, all the wiser for the examples, +inflamed against vice, and in love with virtue; for in all these ways a +good play will stimulate the mind of the hearer be he ever so boorish or +dull; and of all impossibilities the greatest is that a play endowed with +all these qualities will not entertain, satisfy, and please much more +than one wanting in them, like the greater number of those which are +commonly acted now-a-days. Nor are the poets who write them to be blamed +for this; for some there are among them who are perfectly well aware of +their faults, and know what they ought to do; but as plays have become a +salable commodity, they say, and with truth, that the actors will not buy +them unless they are after this fashion; and so the poet tries to adapt +himself to the requirements of the actor who is to pay him for his work. +And that this is the truth may be seen by the countless plays that a most +fertile wit of these kingdoms has written, with so much brilliancy, so +much grace and gaiety, such polished versification, such choice language, +such profound reflections, and in a word, so rich in eloquence and +elevation of style, that he has filled the world with his fame; and yet, +in consequence of his desire to suit the taste of the actors, they have +not all, as some of them have, come as near perfection as they ought. +Others write plays with such heedlessness that, after they have been +acted, the actors have to fly and abscond, afraid of being punished, as +they often have been, for having acted something offensive to some king +or other, or insulting to some noble family. All which evils, and many +more that I say nothing of, would be removed if there were some +intelligent and sensible person at the capital to examine all plays +before they were acted, not only those produced in the capital itself, +but all that were intended to be acted in Spain; without whose approval, +seal, and signature, no local magistracy should allow any play to be +acted. In that case actors would take care to send their plays to the +capital, and could act them in safety, and those who write them would be +more careful and take more pains with their work, standing in awe of +having to submit it to the strict examination of one who understood the +matter; and so good plays would be produced and the objects they aim at +happily attained; as well the amusement of the people, as the credit of +the wits of Spain, the interest and safety of the actors, and the saving +of trouble in inflicting punishment on them. And if the same or some +other person were authorised to examine the newly written books of +chivalry, no doubt some would appear with all the perfections you have +described, enriching our language with the gracious and precious treasure +of eloquence, and driving the old books into obscurity before the light +of the new ones that would come out for the harmless entertainment, not +merely of the idle but of the very busiest; for the bow cannot be always +bent, nor can weak human nature exist without some lawful amusement." + +The canon and the curate had proceeded thus far with their conversation, +when the barber, coming forward, joined them, and said to the curate, +"This is the spot, senor licentiate, that I said was a good one for fresh +and plentiful pasture for the oxen, while we take our noontide rest." + +"And so it seems," returned the curate, and he told the canon what he +proposed to do, on which he too made up his mind to halt with them, +attracted by the aspect of the fair valley that lay before their eyes; +and to enjoy it as well as the conversation of the curate, to whom he had +begun to take a fancy, and also to learn more particulars about the +doings of Don Quixote, he desired some of his servants to go on to the +inn, which was not far distant, and fetch from it what eatables there +might be for the whole party, as he meant to rest for the afternoon where +he was; to which one of his servants replied that the sumpter mule, which +by this time ought to have reached the inn, carried provisions enough to +make it unnecessary to get anything from the inn except barley. + +"In that case," said the canon, "take all the beasts there, and bring the +sumpter mule back." + +While this was going on, Sancho, perceiving that he could speak to his +master without having the curate and the barber, of whom he had his +suspicions, present all the time, approached the cage in which Don +Quixote was placed, and said, "Senor, to ease my conscience I want to +tell you the state of the case as to your enchantment, and that is that +these two here, with their faces covered, are the curate of our village +and the barber; and I suspect they have hit upon this plan of carrying +you off in this fashion, out of pure envy because your worship surpasses +them in doing famous deeds; and if this be the truth it follows that you +are not enchanted, but hoodwinked and made a fool of. And to prove this I +want to ask you one thing; and if you answer me as I believe you will +answer, you will be able to lay your finger on the trick, and you will +see that you are not enchanted but gone wrong in your wits." + +"Ask what thou wilt, Sancho my son," returned Don Quixote, "for I will +satisfy thee and answer all thou requirest. As to what thou sayest, that +these who accompany us yonder are the curate and the barber, our +neighbours and acquaintances, it is very possible that they may seem to +be those same persons; but that they are so in reality and in fact, +believe it not on any account; what thou art to believe and think is +that, if they look like them, as thou sayest, it must be that those who +have enchanted me have taken this shape and likeness; for it is easy for +enchanters to take any form they please, and they may have taken those of +our friends in order to make thee think as thou dost, and lead thee into +a labyrinth of fancies from which thou wilt find no escape though thou +hadst the cord of Theseus; and they may also have done it to make me +uncertain in my mind, and unable to conjecture whence this evil comes to +me; for if on the one hand thou dost tell me that the barber and curate +of our village are here in company with us, and on the other I find +myself shut up in a cage, and know in my heart that no power on earth +that was not supernatural would have been able to shut me in, what +wouldst thou have me say or think, but that my enchantment is of a sort +that transcends all I have ever read of in all the histories that deal +with knights-errant that have been enchanted? So thou mayest set thy mind +at rest as to the idea that they are what thou sayest, for they are as +much so as I am a Turk. But touching thy desire to ask me something, say +on, and I will answer thee, though thou shouldst ask questions from this +till to-morrow morning." + +"May Our Lady be good to me!" said Sancho, lifting up his voice; "and is +it possible that your worship is so thick of skull and so short of brains +that you cannot see that what I say is the simple truth, and that malice +has more to do with your imprisonment and misfortune than enchantment? +But as it is so, I will prove plainly to you that you are not enchanted. +Now tell me, so may God deliver you from this affliction, and so may you +find yourself when you least expect it in the arms of my lady Dulcinea-" + +"Leave off conjuring me," said Don Quixote, "and ask what thou wouldst +know; I have already told thee I will answer with all possible +precision." + +"That is what I want," said Sancho; "and what I would know, and have you +tell me, without adding or leaving out anything, but telling the whole +truth as one expects it to be told, and as it is told, by all who profess +arms, as your worship professes them, under the title of knights-errant-" + +"I tell thee I will not lie in any particular," said Don Quixote; "finish +thy question; for in truth thou weariest me with all these asseverations, +requirements, and precautions, Sancho." + +"Well, I rely on the goodness and truth of my master," said Sancho; "and +so, because it bears upon what we are talking about, I would ask, +speaking with all reverence, whether since your worship has been shut up +and, as you think, enchanted in this cage, you have felt any desire or +inclination to go anywhere, as the saying is?" + +"I do not understand 'going anywhere,'" said Don Quixote; "explain +thyself more clearly, Sancho, if thou wouldst have me give an answer to +the point." + +"Is it possible," said Sancho, "that your worship does not understand +'going anywhere'? Why, the schoolboys know that from the time they were +babes. Well then, you must know I mean have you had any desire to do what +cannot be avoided?" + +"Ah! now I understand thee, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "yes, often, and +even this minute; get me out of this strait, or all will not go right." + +Chapter XLIX. - +Which treats of the shrewd conversation which Sancho Panza held with his +master Don Quixote + +"Aha, I have caught you," said Sancho; "this is what in my heart and soul +I was longing to know. Come now, senor, can you deny what is commonly +said around us, when a person is out of humour, 'I don't know what ails +so-and-so, that he neither eats, nor drinks, nor sleeps, nor gives a +proper answer to any question; one would think he was enchanted'? From +which it is to be gathered that those who do not eat, or drink, or sleep, +or do any of the natural acts I am speaking of-that such persons are +enchanted; but not those that have the desire your worship has, and drink +when drink is given them, and eat when there is anything to eat, and +answer every question that is asked them." + +"What thou sayest is true, Sancho," replied Don Quixote; "but I have +already told thee there are many sorts of enchantments, and it may be +that in the course of time they have been changed one for another, and +that now it may be the way with enchanted people to do all that I do, +though they did not do so before; so it is vain to argue or draw +inferences against the usage of the time. I know and feel that I am +enchanted, and that is enough to ease my conscience; for it would weigh +heavily on it if I thought that I was not enchanted, and that in a +faint-hearted and cowardly way I allowed myself to lie in this cage, +defrauding multitudes of the succour I might afford to those in need and +distress, who at this very moment may be in sore want of my aid and +protection." + +"Still for all that," replied Sancho, "I say that, for your greater and +fuller satisfaction, it would be well if your worship were to try to get +out of this prison (and I promise to do all in my power to help, and even +to take you out of it), and see if you could once more mount your good +Rocinante, who seems to be enchanted too, he is so melancholy and +dejected; and then we might try our chance in looking for adventures +again; and if we have no luck there will be time enough to go back to the +cage; in which, on the faith of a good and loyal squire, I promise to +shut myself up along with your worship, if so be you are so unfortunate, +or I so stupid, as not to be able to carry out my plan." + +"I am content to do as thou sayest, brother Sancho," said Don Quixote, +"and when thou seest an opportunity for effecting my release I will obey +thee absolutely; but thou wilt see, Sancho, how mistaken thou art in thy +conception of my misfortune." + +The knight-errant and the ill-errant squire kept up their conversation +till they reached the place where the curate, the canon, and the barber, +who had already dismounted, were waiting for them. The carter at once +unyoked the oxen and left them to roam at large about the pleasant green +spot, the freshness of which seemed to invite, not enchanted people like +Don Quixote, but wide-awake, sensible folk like his squire, who begged +the curate to allow his master to leave the cage for a little; for if +they did not let him out, the prison might not be as clean as the +propriety of such a gentleman as his master required. The curate +understood him, and said he would very gladly comply with his request, +only that he feared his master, finding himself at liberty, would take to +his old courses and make off where nobody could ever find him again. + +"I will answer for his not running away," said Sancho. + +"And I also," said the canon, "especially if he gives me his word as a +knight not to leave us without our consent." + +Don Quixote, who was listening to all this, said, "I give it;-moreover +one who is enchanted as I am cannot do as he likes with himself; for he +who had enchanted him could prevent his moving from one place for three +ages, and if he attempted to escape would bring him back flying."--And +that being so, they might as well release him, particularly as it would +be to the advantage of all; for, if they did not let him out, he +protested he would be unable to avoid offending their nostrils unless +they kept their distance. + +The canon took his hand, tied together as they both were, and on his word +and promise they unbound him, and rejoiced beyond measure he was to find +himself out of the cage. The first thing he did was to stretch himself +all over, and then he went to where Rocinante was standing and giving him +a couple of slaps on the haunches said, "I still trust in God and in his +blessed mother, O flower and mirror of steeds, that we shall soon see +ourselves, both of us, as we wish to be, thou with thy master on thy +back, and I mounted upon thee, following the calling for which God sent +me into the world." And so saying, accompanied by Sancho, he withdrew to +a retired spot, from which he came back much relieved and more eager than +ever to put his squire's scheme into execution. + +The canon gazed at him, wondering at the extraordinary nature of his +madness, and that in all his remarks and replies he should show such +excellent sense, and only lose his stirrups, as has been already said, +when the subject of chivalry was broached. And so, moved by compassion, +he said to him, as they all sat on the green grass awaiting the arrival +of the provisions: + +"Is it possible, gentle sir, that the nauseous and idle reading of books +of chivalry can have had such an effect on your worship as to upset your +reason so that you fancy yourself enchanted, and the like, all as far +from the truth as falsehood itself is? How can there be any human +understanding that can persuade itself there ever was all that infinity +of Amadises in the world, or all that multitude of famous knights, all +those emperors of Trebizond, all those Felixmartes of Hircania, all those +palfreys, and damsels-errant, and serpents, and monsters, and giants, and +marvellous adventures, and enchantments of every kind, and battles, and +prodigious encounters, splendid costumes, love-sick princesses, squires +made counts, droll dwarfs, love letters, billings and cooings, +swashbuckler women, and, in a word, all that nonsense the books of +chivalry contain? For myself, I can only say that when I read them, so +long as I do not stop to think that they are all lies and frivolity, they +give me a certain amount of pleasure; but when I come to consider what +they are, I fling the very best of them at the wall, and would fling it +into the fire if there were one at hand, as richly deserving such +punishment as cheats and impostors out of the range of ordinary +toleration, and as founders of new sects and modes of life, and teachers +that lead the ignorant public to believe and accept as truth all the +folly they contain. And such is their audacity, they even dare to +unsettle the wits of gentlemen of birth and intelligence, as is shown +plainly by the way they have served your worship, when they have brought +you to such a pass that you have to be shut up in a cage and carried on +an ox-cart as one would carry a lion or a tiger from place to place to +make money by showing it. Come, Senor Don Quixote, have some compassion +for yourself, return to the bosom of common sense, and make use of the +liberal share of it that heaven has been pleased to bestow upon you, +employing your abundant gifts of mind in some other reading that may +serve to benefit your conscience and add to your honour. And if, still +led away by your natural bent, you desire to read books of achievements +and of chivalry, read the Book of Judges in the Holy Scriptures, for +there you will find grand reality, and deeds as true as they are heroic. +Lusitania had a Viriatus, Rome a Caesar, Carthage a Hannibal, Greece an +Alexander, Castile a Count Fernan Gonzalez, Valencia a Cid, Andalusia a +Gonzalo Fernandez, Estremadura a Diego Garcia de Paredes, Jerez a Garci +Perez de Vargas, Toledo a Garcilaso, Seville a Don Manuel de Leon, to +read of whose valiant deeds will entertain and instruct the loftiest +minds and fill them with delight and wonder. Here, Senor Don Quixote, +will be reading worthy of your sound understanding; from which you will +rise learned in history, in love with virtue, strengthened in goodness, +improved in manners, brave without rashness, prudent without cowardice; +and all to the honour of God, your own advantage and the glory of La +Mancha, whence, I am informed, your worship derives your birth." + +Don Quixote listened with the greatest attention to the canon's words, +and when he found he had finished, after regarding him for some time, he +replied to him: + +"It appears to me, gentle sir, that your worship's discourse is intended +to persuade me that there never were any knights-errant in the world, and +that all the books of chivalry are false, lying, mischievous and useless +to the State, and that I have done wrong in reading them, and worse in +believing them, and still worse in imitating them, when I undertook to +follow the arduous calling of knight-errantry which they set forth; for +you deny that there ever were Amadises of Gaul or of Greece, or any other +of the knights of whom the books are full." + +"It is all exactly as you state it," said the canon; to which Don Quixote +returned, "You also went on to say that books of this kind had done me +much harm, inasmuch as they had upset my senses, and shut me up in a +cage, and that it would be better for me to reform and change my studies, +and read other truer books which would afford more pleasure and +instruction." + +"Just so," said the canon. + +"Well then," returned Don Quixote, "to my mind it is you who are the one +that is out of his wits and enchanted, as you have ventured to utter such +blasphemies against a thing so universally acknowledged and accepted as +true that whoever denies it, as you do, deserves the same punishment +which you say you inflict on the books that irritate you when you read +them. For to try to persuade anybody that Amadis, and all the other +knights-adventurers with whom the books are filled, never existed, would +be like trying to persuade him that the sun does not yield light, or ice +cold, or earth nourishment. What wit in the world can persuade another +that the story of the Princess Floripes and Guy of Burgundy is not true, +or that of Fierabras and the bridge of Mantible, which happened in the +time of Charlemagne? For by all that is good it is as true as that it is +daylight now; and if it be a lie, it must be a lie too that there was a +Hector, or Achilles, or Trojan war, or Twelve Peers of France, or Arthur +of England, who still lives changed into a raven, and is unceasingly +looked for in his kingdom. One might just as well try to make out that +the history of Guarino Mezquino, or of the quest of the Holy Grail, is +false, or that the loves of Tristram and the Queen Yseult are apocryphal, +as well as those of Guinevere and Lancelot, when there are persons who +can almost remember having seen the Dame Quintanona, who was the best +cupbearer in Great Britain. And so true is this, that I recollect a +grandmother of mine on the father's side, whenever she saw any dame in a +venerable hood, used to say to me, 'Grandson, that one is like Dame +Quintanona,' from which I conclude that she must have known her, or at +least had managed to see some portrait of her. Then who can deny that the +story of Pierres and the fair Magalona is true, when even to this day may +be seen in the king's armoury the pin with which the valiant Pierres +guided the wooden horse he rode through the air, and it is a trifle +bigger than the pole of a cart? And alongside of the pin is Babieca's +saddle, and at Roncesvalles there is Roland's horn, as large as a large +beam; whence we may infer that there were Twelve Peers, and a Pierres, +and a Cid, and other knights like them, of the sort people commonly call +adventurers. Or perhaps I shall be told, too, that there was no such +knight-errant as the valiant Lusitanian Juan de Merlo, who went to +Burgundy and in the city of Arras fought with the famous lord of Charny, +Mosen Pierres by name, and afterwards in the city of Basle with Mosen +Enrique de Remesten, coming out of both encounters covered with fame and +honour; or adventures and challenges achieved and delivered, also in +Burgundy, by the valiant Spaniards Pedro Barba and Gutierre Quixada (of +whose family I come in the direct male line), when they vanquished the +sons of the Count of San Polo. I shall be told, too, that Don Fernando de +Guevara did not go in quest of adventures to Germany, where he engaged in +combat with Micer George, a knight of the house of the Duke of Austria. I +shall be told that the jousts of Suero de Quinones, him of the 'Paso,' +and the emprise of Mosen Luis de Falces against the Castilian knight, Don +Gonzalo de Guzman, were mere mockeries; as well as many other +achievements of Christian knights of these and foreign realms, which are +so authentic and true, that, I repeat, he who denies them must be totally +wanting in reason and good sense." + +The canon was amazed to hear the medley of truth and fiction Don Quixote +uttered, and to see how well acquainted he was with everything relating +or belonging to the achievements of his knight-errantry; so he said in +reply: + +"I cannot deny, Senor Don Quixote, that there is some truth in what you +say, especially as regards the Spanish knights-errant; and I am willing +to grant too that the Twelve Peers of France existed, but I am not +disposed to believe that they did all the things that the Archbishop +Turpin relates of them. For the truth of the matter is they were knights +chosen by the kings of France, and called 'Peers' because they were all +equal in worth, rank and prowess (at least if they were not they ought to +have been), and it was a kind of religious order like those of Santiago +and Calatrava in the present day, in which it is assumed that those who +take it are valiant knights of distinction and good birth; and just as we +say now a Knight of St. John, or of Alcantara, they used to say then a +Knight of the Twelve Peers, because twelve equals were chosen for that +military order. That there was a Cid, as well as a Bernardo del Carpio, +there can be no doubt; but that they did the deeds people say they did, I +hold to be very doubtful. In that other matter of the pin of Count +Pierres that you speak of, and say is near Babieca's saddle in the +Armoury, I confess my sin; for I am either so stupid or so short-sighted, +that, though I have seen the saddle, I have never been able to see the +pin, in spite of it being as big as your worship says it is." + +"For all that it is there, without any manner of doubt," said Don +Quixote; "and more by token they say it is inclosed in a sheath of +cowhide to keep it from rusting." + +"All that may be," replied the canon; "but, by the orders I have +received, I do not remember seeing it. However, granting it is there, +that is no reason why I am bound to believe the stories of all those +Amadises and of all that multitude of knights they tell us about, nor is +it reasonable that a man like your worship, so worthy, and with so many +good qualities, and endowed with such a good understanding, should allow +himself to be persuaded that such wild crazy things as are written in +those absurd books of chivalry are really true." + +Chapter L. - +Of the shrewd controversy which Don Quixote and the Canon held, together +with other incidents + +"A good joke, that!" returned Don Quixote. "Books that have been printed +with the king's licence, and with the approbation of those to whom they +have been submitted, and read with universal delight, and extolled by +great and small, rich and poor, learned and ignorant, gentle and simple, +in a word by people of every sort, of whatever rank or condition they may +be--that these should be lies! And above all when they carry such an +appearance of truth with them; for they tell us the father, mother, +country, kindred, age, place, and the achievements, step by step, and day +by day, performed by such a knight or knights! Hush, sir; utter not such +blasphemy; trust me I am advising you now to act as a sensible man +should; only read them, and you will see the pleasure you will derive +from them. For, come, tell me, can there be anything more delightful than +to see, as it were, here now displayed before us a vast lake of bubbling +pitch with a host of snakes and serpents and lizards, and ferocious and +terrible creatures of all sorts swimming about in it, while from the +middle of the lake there comes a plaintive voice saying: 'Knight, +whosoever thou art who beholdest this dread lake, if thou wouldst win the +prize that lies hidden beneath these dusky waves, prove the valour of thy +stout heart and cast thyself into the midst of its dark burning waters, +else thou shalt not be worthy to see the mighty wonders contained in the +seven castles of the seven Fays that lie beneath this black expanse;' and +then the knight, almost ere the awful voice has ceased, without stopping +to consider, without pausing to reflect upon the danger to which he is +exposing himself, without even relieving himself of the weight of his +massive armour, commending himself to God and to his lady, plunges into +the midst of the boiling lake, and when he little looks for it, or knows +what his fate is to be, he finds himself among flowery meadows, with +which the Elysian fields are not to be compared. + +"The sky seems more transparent there, and the sun shines with a strange +brilliancy, and a delightful grove of green leafy trees presents itself +to the eyes and charms the sight with its verdure, while the ear is +soothed by the sweet untutored melody of the countless birds of gay +plumage that flit to and fro among the interlacing branches. Here he sees +a brook whose limpid waters, like liquid crystal, ripple over fine sands +and white pebbles that look like sifted gold and purest pearls. There he +perceives a cunningly wrought fountain of many-coloured jasper and +polished marble; here another of rustic fashion where the little +mussel-shells and the spiral white and yellow mansions of the snail +disposed in studious disorder, mingled with fragments of glittering +crystal and mock emeralds, make up a work of varied aspect, where art, +imitating nature, seems to have outdone it. + +"Suddenly there is presented to his sight a strong castle or gorgeous +palace with walls of massy gold, turrets of diamond and gates of jacinth; +in short, so marvellous is its structure that though the materials of +which it is built are nothing less than diamonds, carbuncles, rubies, +pearls, gold, and emeralds, the workmanship is still more rare. And after +having seen all this, what can be more charming than to see how a bevy of +damsels comes forth from the gate of the castle in gay and gorgeous +attire, such that, were I to set myself now to depict it as the histories +describe it to us, I should never have done; and then how she who seems +to be the first among them all takes the bold knight who plunged into the +boiling lake by the hand, and without addressing a word to him leads him +into the rich palace or castle, and strips him as naked as when his +mother bore him, and bathes him in lukewarm water, and anoints him all +over with sweet-smelling unguents, and clothes him in a shirt of the +softest sendal, all scented and perfumed, while another damsel comes and +throws over his shoulders a mantle which is said to be worth at the very +least a city, and even more? How charming it is, then, when they tell us +how, after all this, they lead him to another chamber where he finds the +tables set out in such style that he is filled with amazement and wonder; +to see how they pour out water for his hands distilled from amber and +sweet-scented flowers; how they seat him on an ivory chair; to see how +the damsels wait on him all in profound silence; how they bring him such +a variety of dainties so temptingly prepared that the appetite is at a +loss which to select; to hear the music that resounds while he is at +table, by whom or whence produced he knows not. And then when the repast +is over and the tables removed, for the knight to recline in the chair, +picking his teeth perhaps as usual, and a damsel, much lovelier than any +of the others, to enter unexpectedly by the chamber door, and herself by +his side, and begin to tell him what the castle is, and how she is held +enchanted there, and other things that amaze the knight and astonish the +readers who are perusing his history. + +"But I will not expatiate any further upon this, as it may be gathered +from it that whatever part of whatever history of a knight-errant one +reads, it will fill the reader, whoever he be, with delight and wonder; +and take my advice, sir, and, as I said before, read these books and you +will see how they will banish any melancholy you may feel and raise your +spirits should they be depressed. For myself I can say that since I have +been a knight-errant I have become valiant, polite, generous, well-bred, +magnanimous, courteous, dauntless, gentle, patient, and have learned to +bear hardships, imprisonments, and enchantments; and though it be such a +short time since I have seen myself shut up in a cage like a madman, I +hope by the might of my arm, if heaven aid me and fortune thwart me not, +to see myself king of some kingdom where I may be able to show the +gratitude and generosity that dwell in my heart; for by my faith, senor, +the poor man is incapacitated from showing the virtue of generosity to +anyone, though he may possess it in the highest degree; and gratitude +that consists of disposition only is a dead thing, just as faith without +works is dead. For this reason I should be glad were fortune soon to +offer me some opportunity of making myself an emperor, so as to show my +heart in doing good to my friends, particularly to this poor Sancho +Panza, my squire, who is the best fellow in the world; and I would gladly +give him a county I have promised him this ever so long, only that I am +afraid he has not the capacity to govern his realm." + +Sancho partly heard these last words of his master, and said to him, +"Strive hard you, Senor Don Quixote, to give me that county so often +promised by you and so long looked for by me, for I promise you there +will be no want of capacity in me to govern it; and even if there is, I +have heard say there are men in the world who farm seigniories, paying so +much a year, and they themselves taking charge of the government, while +the lord, with his legs stretched out, enjoys the revenue they pay him, +without troubling himself about anything else. That's what I'll do, and +not stand haggling over trifles, but wash my hands at once of the whole +business, and enjoy my rents like a duke, and let things go their own +way." + +"That, brother Sancho," said the canon, "only holds good as far as the +enjoyment of the revenue goes; but the lord of the seigniory must attend +to the administration of justice, and here capacity and sound judgment +come in, and above all a firm determination to find out the truth; for if +this be wanting in the beginning, the middle and the end will always go +wrong; and God as commonly aids the honest intentions of the simple as he +frustrates the evil designs of the crafty." + +"I don't understand those philosophies," returned Sancho Panza; "all I +know is I would I had the county as soon as I shall know how to govern +it; for I have as much soul as another, and as much body as anyone, and I +shall be as much king of my realm as any other of his; and being so I +should do as I liked, and doing as I liked I should please myself, and +pleasing myself I should be content, and when one is content he has +nothing more to desire, and when one has nothing more to desire there is +an end of it; so let the county come, and God he with you, and let us see +one another, as one blind man said to the other." + +"That is not bad philosophy thou art talking, Sancho," said the canon; +"but for all that there is a good deal to be said on this matter of +counties." + +To which Don Quixote returned, "I know not what more there is to be said; +I only guide myself by the example set me by the great Amadis of Gaul, +when he made his squire count of the Insula Firme; and so, without any +scruples of conscience, I can make a count of Sancho Panza, for he is one +of the best squires that ever knight-errant had." + +The canon was astonished at the methodical nonsense (if nonsense be +capable of method) that Don Quixote uttered, at the way in which he had +described the adventure of the knight of the lake, at the impression that +the deliberate lies of the books he read had made upon him, and lastly he +marvelled at the simplicity of Sancho, who desired so eagerly to obtain +the county his master had promised him. + +By this time the canon's servants, who had gone to the inn to fetch the +sumpter mule, had returned, and making a carpet and the green grass of +the meadow serve as a table, they seated themselves in the shade of some +trees and made their repast there, that the carter might not be deprived +of the advantage of the spot, as has been already said. As they were +eating they suddenly heard a loud noise and the sound of a bell that +seemed to come from among some brambles and thick bushes that were close +by, and the same instant they observed a beautiful goat, spotted all over +black, white, and brown, spring out of the thicket with a goatherd after +it, calling to it and uttering the usual cries to make it stop or turn +back to the fold. The fugitive goat, scared and frightened, ran towards +the company as if seeking their protection and then stood still, and the +goatherd coming up seized it by the horns and began to talk to it as if +it were possessed of reason and understanding: "Ah wanderer, wanderer, +Spotty, Spotty; how have you gone limping all this time? What wolves have +frightened you, my daughter? Won't you tell me what is the matter, my +beauty? But what else can it be except that you are a she, and cannot +keep quiet? A plague on your humours and the humours of those you take +after! Come back, come back, my darling; and if you will not be so happy, +at any rate you will be safe in the fold or with your companions; for if +you who ought to keep and lead them, go wandering astray, what will +become of them?" + +The goatherd's talk amused all who heard it, but especially the canon, +who said to him, "As you live, brother, take it easy, and be not in such +a hurry to drive this goat back to the fold; for, being a female, as you +say, she will follow her natural instinct in spite of all you can do to +prevent it. Take this morsel and drink a sup, and that will soothe your +irritation, and in the meantime the goat will rest herself," and so +saying, he handed him the loins of a cold rabbit on a fork. + +The goatherd took it with thanks, and drank and calmed himself, and then +said, "I should be sorry if your worships were to take me for a simpleton +for having spoken so seriously as I did to this animal; but the truth is +there is a certain mystery in the words I used. I am a clown, but not so +much of one but that I know how to behave to men and to beasts." + +"That I can well believe," said the curate, "for I know already by +experience that the woods breed men of learning, and shepherds' harbour +philosophers." + +"At all events, senor," returned the goatherd, "they shelter men of +experience; and that you may see the truth of this and grasp it, though I +may seem to put myself forward without being asked, I will, if it will +not tire you, gentlemen, and you will give me your attention for a +little, tell you a true story which will confirm this gentleman's word +(and he pointed to the curate) as well as my own." + +To this Don Quixote replied, "Seeing that this affair has a certain +colour of chivalry about it, I for my part, brother, will hear you most +gladly, and so will all these gentlemen, from the high intelligence they +possess and their love of curious novelties that interest, charm, and +entertain the mind, as I feel quite sure your story will do. So begin, +friend, for we are all prepared to listen." + +"I draw my stakes," said Sancho, "and will retreat with this pasty to the +brook there, where I mean to victual myself for three days; for I have +heard my lord, Don Quixote, say that a knight-errant's squire should eat +until he can hold no more, whenever he has the chance, because it often +happens them to get by accident into a wood so thick that they cannot +find a way out of it for six days; and if the man is not well filled or +his alforjas well stored, there he may stay, as very often he does, +turned into a dried mummy." + +"Thou art in the right of it, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "go where thou +wilt and eat all thou canst, for I have had enough, and only want to give +my mind its refreshment, as I shall by listening to this good fellow's +story." + +"It is what we shall all do," said the canon; and then begged the +goatherd to begin the promised tale. + +The goatherd gave the goat which he held by the horns a couple of slaps +on the back, saying, "Lie down here beside me, Spotty, for we have time +enough to return to our fold." The goat seemed to understand him, for as +her master seated himself, she stretched herself quietly beside him and +looked up in his face to show him she was all attention to what he was +going to say, and then in these words he began his story. + +Chapter LI. - +Which deals with what the goatherd told those who were carrying off Don +Quixote + +Three leagues from this valley there is a village which, though small, is +one of the richest in all this neighbourhood, and in it there lived a +farmer, a very worthy man, and so much respected that, although to be so +is the natural consequence of being rich, he was even more respected for +his virtue than for the wealth he had acquired. But what made him still +more fortunate, as he said himself, was having a daughter of such +exceeding beauty, rare intelligence, gracefulness, and virtue, that +everyone who knew her and beheld her marvelled at the extraordinary gifts +with which heaven and nature had endowed her. As a child she was +beautiful, she continued to grow in beauty, and at the age of sixteen she +was most lovely. The fame of her beauty began to spread abroad through +all the villages around--but why do I say the villages around, merely, +when it spread to distant cities, and even made its way into the halls of +royalty and reached the ears of people of every class, who came from all +sides to see her as if to see something rare and curious, or some +wonder-working image? + +Her father watched over her and she watched over herself; for there are +no locks, or guards, or bolts that can protect a young girl better than +her own modesty. The wealth of the father and the beauty of the daughter +led many neighbours as well as strangers to seek her for a wife; but he, +as one might well be who had the disposal of so rich a jewel, was +perplexed and unable to make up his mind to which of her countless +suitors he should entrust her. I was one among the many who felt a desire +so natural, and, as her father knew who I was, and I was of the same +town, of pure blood, in the bloom of life, and very rich in possessions, +I had great hopes of success. There was another of the same place and +qualifications who also sought her, and this made her father's choice +hang in the balance, for he felt that on either of us his daughter would +be well bestowed; so to escape from this state of perplexity he resolved +to refer the matter to Leandra (for that is the name of the rich damsel +who has reduced me to misery), reflecting that as we were both equal it +would be best to leave it to his dear daughter to choose according to her +inclination--a course that is worthy of imitation by all fathers who wish +to settle their children in life. I do not mean that they ought to leave +them to make a choice of what is contemptible and bad, but that they +should place before them what is good and then allow them to make a good +choice as they please. I do not know which Leandra chose; I only know her +father put us both off with the tender age of his daughter and vague +words that neither bound him nor dismissed us. My rival is called Anselmo +and I myself Eugenio--that you may know the names of the personages that +figure in this tragedy, the end of which is still in suspense, though it +is plain to see it must be disastrous. + +About this time there arrived in our town one Vicente de la Roca, the son +of a poor peasant of the same town, the said Vicente having returned from +service as a soldier in Italy and divers other parts. A captain who +chanced to pass that way with his company had carried him off from our +village when he was a boy of about twelve years, and now twelve years +later the young man came back in a soldier's uniform, arrayed in a +thousand colours, and all over glass trinkets and fine steel chains. +To-day he would appear in one gay dress, to-morrow in another; but all +flimsy and gaudy, of little substance and less worth. The peasant folk, +who are naturally malicious, and when they have nothing to do can be +malice itself, remarked all this, and took note of his finery and +jewellery, piece by piece, and discovered that he had three suits of +different colours, with garters and stockings to match; but he made so +many arrangements and combinations out of them, that if they had not +counted them, anyone would have sworn that he had made a display of more +than ten suits of clothes and twenty plumes. Do not look upon all this +that I am telling you about the clothes as uncalled for or spun out, for +they have a great deal to do with the story. He used to seat himself on a +bench under the great poplar in our plaza, and there he would keep us all +hanging open-mouthed on the stories he told us of his exploits. There was +no country on the face of the globe he had not seen, nor battle he had +not been engaged in; he had killed more Moors than there are in Morocco +and Tunis, and fought more single combats, according to his own account, +than Garcilaso, Diego Garcia de Paredes and a thousand others he named, +and out of all he had come victorious without losing a drop of blood. On +the other hand he showed marks of wounds, which, though they could not be +made out, he said were gunshot wounds received in divers encounters and +actions. Lastly, with monstrous impudence he used to say "you" to his +equals and even those who knew what he was, and declare that his arm was +his father and his deeds his pedigree, and that being a soldier he was as +good as the king himself. And to add to these swaggering ways he was a +trifle of a musician, and played the guitar with such a flourish that +some said he made it speak; nor did his accomplishments end here, for he +was something of a poet too, and on every trifle that happened in the +town he made a ballad a league long. + +This soldier, then, that I have described, this Vicente de la Roca, this +bravo, gallant, musician, poet, was often seen and watched by Leandra +from a window of her house which looked out on the plaza. The glitter of +his showy attire took her fancy, his ballads bewitched her (for he gave +away twenty copies of every one he made), the tales of his exploits which +he told about himself came to her ears; and in short, as the devil no +doubt had arranged it, she fell in love with him before the presumption +of making love to her had suggested itself to him; and as in love-affairs +none are more easily brought to an issue than those which have the +inclination of the lady for an ally, Leandra and Vicente came to an +understanding without any difficulty; and before any of her numerous +suitors had any suspicion of her design, she had already carried it into +effect, having left the house of her dearly beloved father (for mother +she had none), and disappeared from the village with the soldier, who +came more triumphantly out of this enterprise than out of any of the +large number he laid claim to. All the village and all who heard of it +were amazed at the affair; I was aghast, Anselmo thunderstruck, her +father full of grief, her relations indignant, the authorities all in a +ferment, the officers of the Brotherhood in arms. They scoured the roads, +they searched the woods and all quarters, and at the end of three days +they found the flighty Leandra in a mountain cave, stript to her shift, +and robbed of all the money and precious jewels she had carried away from +home with her. + +They brought her back to her unhappy father, and questioned her as to her +misfortune, and she confessed without pressure that Vicente de la Roca +had deceived her, and under promise of marrying her had induced her to +leave her father's house, as he meant to take her to the richest and most +delightful city in the whole world, which was Naples; and that she, +ill-advised and deluded, had believed him, and robbed her father, and +handed over all to him the night she disappeared; and that he had carried +her away to a rugged mountain and shut her up in the eave where they had +found her. She said, moreover, that the soldier, without robbing her of +her honour, had taken from her everything she had, and made off, leaving +her in the cave, a thing that still further surprised everybody. It was +not easy for us to credit the young man's continence, but she asserted it +with such earnestness that it helped to console her distressed father, +who thought nothing of what had been taken since the jewel that once lost +can never be recovered had been left to his daughter. The same day that +Leandra made her appearance her father removed her from our sight and +took her away to shut her up in a convent in a town near this, in the +hope that time may wear away some of the disgrace she has incurred. +Leandra's youth furnished an excuse for her fault, at least with those to +whom it was of no consequence whether she was good or bad; but those who +knew her shrewdness and intelligence did not attribute her misdemeanour +to ignorance but to wantonness and the natural disposition of women, +which is for the most part flighty and ill-regulated. + +Leandra withdrawn from sight, Anselmo's eyes grew blind, or at any rate +found nothing to look at that gave them any pleasure, and mine were in +darkness without a ray of light to direct them to anything enjoyable +while Leandra was away. Our melancholy grew greater, our patience grew +less; we cursed the soldier's finery and railed at the carelessness of +Leandra's father. At last Anselmo and I agreed to leave the village and +come to this valley; and, he feeding a great flock of sheep of his own, +and I a large herd of goats of mine, we pass our life among the trees, +giving vent to our sorrows, together singing the fair Leandra's praises, +or upbraiding her, or else sighing alone, and to heaven pouring forth our +complaints in solitude. Following our example, many more of Leandra's +lovers have come to these rude mountains and adopted our mode of life, +and they are so numerous that one would fancy the place had been turned +into the pastoral Arcadia, so full is it of shepherds and sheep-folds; +nor is there a spot in it where the name of the fair Leandra is not +heard. Here one curses her and calls her capricious, fickle, and +immodest, there another condemns her as frail and frivolous; this pardons +and absolves her, that spurns and reviles her; one extols her beauty, +another assails her character, and in short all abuse her, and all adore +her, and to such a pitch has this general infatuation gone that there are +some who complain of her scorn without ever having exchanged a word with +her, and even some that bewail and mourn the raging fever of jealousy, +for which she never gave anyone cause, for, as I have already said, her +misconduct was known before her passion. There is no nook among the +rocks, no brookside, no shade beneath the trees that is not haunted by +some shepherd telling his woes to the breezes; wherever there is an echo +it repeats the name of Leandra; the mountains ring with "Leandra," +"Leandra" murmur the brooks, and Leandra keeps us all bewildered and +bewitched, hoping without hope and fearing without knowing what we fear. +Of all this silly set the one that shows the least and also the most +sense is my rival Anselmo, for having so many other things to complain +of, he only complains of separation, and to the accompaniment of a +rebeck, which he plays admirably, he sings his complaints in verses that +show his ingenuity. I follow another, easier, and to my mind wiser +course, and that is to rail at the frivolity of women, at their +inconstancy, their double dealing, their broken promises, their unkept +pledges, and in short the want of reflection they show in fixing their +affections and inclinations. This, sirs, was the reason of words and +expressions I made use of to this goat when I came up just now; for as +she is a female I have a contempt for her, though she is the best in all +my fold. This is the story I promised to tell you, and if I have been +tedious in telling it, I will not be slow to serve you; my hut is close +by, and I have fresh milk and dainty cheese there, as well as a variety +of toothsome fruit, no less pleasing to the eye than to the palate. + +Chapter LII. - +Of the quarrel that don quixote had with the goatherd, together with the +rare adventure of the penitents, which with an expenditure of sweat he +brought to a happy conclusion + +The goatherd's tale gave great satisfaction to all the hearers, and the +canon especially enjoyed it, for he had remarked with particular +attention the manner in which it had been told, which was as unlike the +manner of a clownish goatherd as it was like that of a polished city wit; +and he observed that the curate had been quite right in saying that the +woods bred men of learning. They all offered their services to Eugenio +but he who showed himself most liberal in this way was Don Quixote, who +said to him, "Most assuredly, brother goatherd, if I found myself in a +position to attempt any adventure, I would, this very instant, set out on +your behalf, and would rescue Leandra from that convent (where no doubt +she is kept against her will), in spite of the abbess and all who might +try to prevent me, and would place her in your hands to deal with her +according to your will and pleasure, observing, however, the laws of +chivalry which lay down that no violence of any kind is to be offered to +any damsel. But I trust in God our Lord that the might of one malignant +enchanter may not prove so great but that the power of another better +disposed may prove superior to it, and then I promise you my support and +assistance, as I am bound to do by my profession, which is none other +than to give aid to the weak and needy." + +The goatherd eyed him, and noticing Don Quixote's sorry appearance and +looks, he was filled with wonder, and asked the barber, who was next him, +"Senor, who is this man who makes such a figure and talks in such a +strain?" + +"Who should it be," said the barber, "but the famous Don Quixote of La +Mancha, the undoer of injustice, the righter of wrongs, the protector of +damsels, the terror of giants, and the winner of battles?" + +"That," said the goatherd, "sounds like what one reads in the books of +the knights-errant, who did all that you say this man does; though it is +my belief that either you are joking, or else this gentleman has empty +lodgings in his head." + +"You are a great scoundrel," said Don Quixote, "and it is you who are +empty and a fool. I am fuller than ever was the whoreson bitch that bore +you;" and passing from words to deeds, he caught up a loaf that was near +him and sent it full in the goatherd's face, with such force that he +flattened his nose; but the goatherd, who did not understand jokes, and +found himself roughly handled in such good earnest, paying no respect to +carpet, tablecloth, or diners, sprang upon Don Quixote, and seizing him +by the throat with both hands would no doubt have throttled him, had not +Sancho Panza that instant come to the rescue, and grasping him by the +shoulders flung him down on the table, smashing plates, breaking glasses, +and upsetting and scattering everything on it. Don Quixote, finding +himself free, strove to get on top of the goatherd, who, with his face +covered with blood, and soundly kicked by Sancho, was on all fours +feeling about for one of the table-knives to take a bloody revenge with. +The canon and the curate, however, prevented him, but the barber so +contrived it that he got Don Quixote under him, and rained down upon him +such a shower of fisticuffs that the poor knight's face streamed with +blood as freely as his own. The canon and the curate were bursting with +laughter, the officers were capering with delight, and both the one and +the other hissed them on as they do dogs that are worrying one another in +a fight. Sancho alone was frantic, for he could not free himself from the +grasp of one of the canon's servants, who kept him from going to his +master's assistance. + +At last, while they were all, with the exception of the two bruisers who +were mauling each other, in high glee and enjoyment, they heard a trumpet +sound a note so doleful that it made them all look in the direction +whence the sound seemed to come. But the one that was most excited by +hearing it was Don Quixote, who though sorely against his will he was +under the goatherd, and something more than pretty well pummelled, said +to him, "Brother devil (for it is impossible but that thou must be one +since thou hast had might and strength enough to overcome mine), I ask +thee to agree to a truce for but one hour for the solemn note of yonder +trumpet that falls on our ears seems to me to summon me to some new +adventure." The goatherd, who was by this time tired of pummelling and +being pummelled, released him at once, and Don Quixote rising to his feet +and turning his eyes to the quarter where the sound had been heard, +suddenly saw coming down the slope of a hill several men clad in white +like penitents. + +The fact was that the clouds had that year withheld their moisture from +the earth, and in all the villages of the district they were organising +processions, rogations, and penances, imploring God to open the hands of +his mercy and send the rain; and to this end the people of a village that +was hard by were going in procession to a holy hermitage there was on one +side of that valley. Don Quixote when he saw the strange garb of the +penitents, without reflecting how often he had seen it before, took it +into his head that this was a case of adventure, and that it fell to him +alone as a knight-errant to engage in it; and he was all the more +confirmed in this notion, by the idea that an image draped in black they +had with them was some illustrious lady that these villains and +discourteous thieves were carrying off by force. As soon as this occurred +to him he ran with all speed to Rocinante who was grazing at large, and +taking the bridle and the buckler from the saddle-bow, he had him bridled +in an instant, and calling to Sancho for his sword he mounted Rocinante, +braced his buckler on his arm, and in a loud voice exclaimed to those who +stood by, "Now, noble company, ye shall see how important it is that +there should be knights in the world professing the of knight-errantry; +now, I say, ye shall see, by the deliverance of that worthy lady who is +borne captive there, whether knights-errant deserve to be held in +estimation," and so saying he brought his legs to bear on Rocinante--for +he had no spurs--and at a full canter (for in all this veracious history +we never read of Rocinante fairly galloping) set off to encounter the +penitents, though the curate, the canon, and the barber ran to prevent +him. But it was out of their power, nor did he even stop for the shouts +of Sancho calling after him, "Where are you going, Senor Don Quixote? +What devils have possessed you to set you on against our Catholic faith? +Plague take me! mind, that is a procession of penitents, and the lady +they are carrying on that stand there is the blessed image of the +immaculate Virgin. Take care what you are doing, senor, for this time it +may be safely said you don't know what you are about." Sancho laboured in +vain, for his master was so bent on coming to quarters with these sheeted +figures and releasing the lady in black that he did not hear a word; and +even had he heard, he would not have turned back if the king had ordered +him. He came up with the procession and reined in Rocinante, who was +already anxious enough to slacken speed a little, and in a hoarse, +excited voice he exclaimed, "You who hide your faces, perhaps because you +are not good subjects, pay attention and listen to what I am about to say +to you." The first to halt were those who were carrying the image, and +one of the four ecclesiastics who were chanting the Litany, struck by the +strange figure of Don Quixote, the leanness of Rocinante, and the other +ludicrous peculiarities he observed, said in reply to him, "Brother, if +you have anything to say to us say it quickly, for these brethren are +whipping themselves, and we cannot stop, nor is it reasonable we should +stop to hear anything, unless indeed it is short enough to be said in two +words." + +"I will say it in one," replied Don Quixote, "and it is this; that at +once, this very instant, ye release that fair lady whose tears and sad +aspect show plainly that ye are carrying her off against her will, and +that ye have committed some scandalous outrage against her; and I, who +was born into the world to redress all such like wrongs, will not permit +you to advance another step until you have restored to her the liberty +she pines for and deserves." + +From these words all the hearers concluded that he must be a madman, and +began to laugh heartily, and their laughter acted like gunpowder on Don +Quixote's fury, for drawing his sword without another word he made a rush +at the stand. One of those who supported it, leaving the burden to his +comrades, advanced to meet him, flourishing a forked stick that he had +for propping up the stand when resting, and with this he caught a mighty +cut Don Quixote made at him that severed it in two; but with the portion +that remained in his hand he dealt such a thwack on the shoulder of Don +Quixote's sword arm (which the buckler could not protect against the +clownish assault) that poor Don Quixote came to the ground in a sad +plight. + +Sancho Panza, who was coming on close behind puffing and blowing, seeing +him fall, cried out to his assailant not to strike him again, for he was +poor enchanted knight, who had never harmed anyone all the days of his +life; but what checked the clown was, not Sancho's shouting, but seeing +that Don Quixote did not stir hand or foot; and so, fancying he had +killed him, he hastily hitched up his tunic under his girdle and took to +his heels across the country like a deer. + +By this time all Don Quixote's companions had come up to where he lay; +but the processionists seeing them come running, and with them the +officers of the Brotherhood with their crossbows, apprehended mischief, +and clustering round the image, raised their hoods, and grasped their +scourges, as the priests did their tapers, and awaited the attack, +resolved to defend themselves and even to take the offensive against +their assailants if they could. Fortune, however, arranged the matter +better than they expected, for all Sancho did was to fling himself on his +master's body, raising over him the most doleful and laughable +lamentation that ever was heard, for he believed he was dead. The curate +was known to another curate who walked in the procession, and their +recognition of one another set at rest the apprehensions of both parties; +the first then told the other in two words who Don Quixote was, and he +and the whole troop of penitents went to see if the poor gentleman was +dead, and heard Sancho Panza saying, with tears in his eyes, "Oh flower +of chivalry, that with one blow of a stick hast ended the course of thy +well-spent life! Oh pride of thy race, honour and glory of all La Mancha, +nay, of all the world, that for want of thee will be full of evil-doers, +no longer in fear of punishment for their misdeeds! Oh thou, generous +above all the Alexanders, since for only eight months of service thou +hast given me the best island the sea girds or surrounds! Humble with the +proud, haughty with the humble, encounterer of dangers, endurer of +outrages, enamoured without reason, imitator of the good, scourge of the +wicked, enemy of the mean, in short, knight-errant, which is all that can +be said!" + +At the cries and moans of Sancho, Don Quixote came to himself, and the +first word he said was, "He who lives separated from you, sweetest +Dulcinea, has greater miseries to endure than these. Aid me, friend +Sancho, to mount the enchanted cart, for I am not in a condition to press +the saddle of Rocinante, as this shoulder is all knocked to pieces." + +"That I will do with all my heart, senor," said Sancho; "and let us +return to our village with these gentlemen, who seek your good, and there +we will prepare for making another sally, which may turn out more +profitable and creditable to us." + +"Thou art right, Sancho," returned Don Quixote; "It will be wise to let +the malign influence of the stars which now prevails pass off." + +The canon, the curate, and the barber told him he would act very wisely +in doing as he said; and so, highly amused at Sancho Panza's +simplicities, they placed Don Quixote in the cart as before. The +procession once more formed itself in order and proceeded on its road; +the goatherd took his leave of the party; the officers of the Brotherhood +declined to go any farther, and the curate paid them what was due to +them; the canon begged the curate to let him know how Don Quixote did, +whether he was cured of his madness or still suffered from it, and then +begged leave to continue his journey; in short, they all separated and +went their ways, leaving to themselves the curate and the barber, Don +Quixote, Sancho Panza, and the good Rocinante, who regarded everything +with as great resignation as his master. The carter yoked his oxen and +made Don Quixote comfortable on a truss of hay, and at his usual +deliberate pace took the road the curate directed, and at the end of six +days they reached Don Quixote's village, and entered it about the middle +of the day, which it so happened was a Sunday, and the people were all in +the plaza, through which Don Quixote's cart passed. They all flocked to +see what was in the cart, and when they recognised their townsman they +were filled with amazement, and a boy ran off to bring the news to his +housekeeper and his niece that their master and uncle had come back all +lean and yellow and stretched on a truss of hay on an ox-cart. It was +piteous to hear the cries the two good ladies raised, how they beat their +breasts and poured out fresh maledictions on those accursed books of +chivalry; all which was renewed when they saw Don Quixote coming in at +the gate. + +At the news of Don Quixote's arrival Sancho Panza's wife came running, +for she by this time knew that her husband had gone away with him as his +squire, and on seeing Sancho, the first thing she asked him was if the +ass was well. Sancho replied that he was, better than his master was. + +"Thanks be to God," said she, "for being so good to me; but now tell me, +my friend, what have you made by your squirings? What gown have you +brought me back? What shoes for your children?" + +"I bring nothing of that sort, wife," said Sancho; "though I bring other +things of more consequence and value." + +"I am very glad of that," returned his wife; "show me these things of +more value and consequence, my friend; for I want to see them to cheer my +heart that has been so sad and heavy all these ages that you have been +away." + +"I will show them to you at home, wife," said Sancho; "be content for the +present; for if it please God that we should again go on our travels in +search of adventures, you will soon see me a count, or governor of an +island, and that not one of those everyday ones, but the best that is to +be had." + +"Heaven grant it, husband," said she, "for indeed we have need of it. But +tell me, what's this about islands, for I don't understand it?" + +"Honey is not for the mouth of the ass," returned Sancho; "all in good +time thou shalt see, wife--nay, thou wilt be surprised to hear thyself +called 'your ladyship' by all thy vassals." + +"What are you talking about, Sancho, with your ladyships, islands, and +vassals?" returned Teresa Panza--for so Sancho's wife was called, though +they were not relations, for in La Mancha it is customary for wives to +take their husbands' surnames. + +"Don't be in such a hurry to know all this, Teresa," said Sancho; "it is +enough that I am telling you the truth, so shut your mouth. But I may +tell you this much by the way, that there is nothing in the world more +delightful than to be a person of consideration, squire to a +knight-errant, and a seeker of adventures. To be sure most of those one +finds do not end as pleasantly as one could wish, for out of a hundred, +ninety-nine will turn out cross and contrary. I know it by experience, +for out of some I came blanketed, and out of others belaboured. Still, +for all that, it is a fine thing to be on the look-out for what may +happen, crossing mountains, searching woods, climbing rocks, visiting +castles, putting up at inns, all at free quarters, and devil take the +maravedi to pay." + +While this conversation passed between Sancho Panza and his wife, Don +Quixote's housekeeper and niece took him in and undressed him and laid +him in his old bed. He eyed them askance, and could not make out where he +was. The curate charged his niece to be very careful to make her uncle +comfortable and to keep a watch over him lest he should make his escape +from them again, telling her what they had been obliged to do to bring +him home. On this the pair once more lifted up their voices and renewed +their maledictions upon the books of chivalry, and implored heaven to +plunge the authors of such lies and nonsense into the midst of the +bottomless pit. They were, in short, kept in anxiety and dread lest their +uncle and master should give them the slip the moment he found himself +somewhat better, and as they feared so it fell out. + +But the author of this history, though he has devoted research and +industry to the discovery of the deeds achieved by Don Quixote in his +third sally, has been unable to obtain any information respecting them, +at any rate derived from authentic documents; tradition has merely +preserved in the memory of La Mancha the fact that Don Quixote, the third +time he sallied forth from his home, betook himself to Saragossa, where +he was present at some famous jousts which came off in that city, and +that he had adventures there worthy of his valour and high intelligence. +Of his end and death he could learn no particulars, nor would he have +ascertained it or known of it, if good fortune had not produced an old +physician for him who had in his possession a leaden box, which, +according to his account, had been discovered among the crumbling +foundations of an ancient hermitage that was being rebuilt; in which box +were found certain parchment manuscripts in Gothic character, but in +Castilian verse, containing many of his achievements, and setting forth +the beauty of Dulcinea, the form of Rocinante, the fidelity of Sancho +Panza, and the burial of Don Quixote himself, together with sundry +epitaphs and eulogies on his life and character; but all that could be +read and deciphered were those which the trustworthy author of this new +and unparalleled history here presents. And the said author asks of those +that shall read it nothing in return for the vast toil which it has cost +him in examining and searching the Manchegan archives in order to bring +it to light, save that they give him the same credit that people of sense +give to the books of chivalry that pervade the world and are so popular; +for with this he will consider himself amply paid and fully satisfied, +and will be encouraged to seek out and produce other histories, if not as +truthful, at least equal in invention and not less entertaining. The +first words written on the parchment found in the leaden box were these: + +poem{ + + THE ACADEMICIANS OF + ARGAMASILLA, A VILLAGE OF + LA MANCHA, + ON THE LIFE AND DEATH + OF DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA, + HOC SCRIPSERUNT +MONICONGO, ACADEMICIAN OF ARGAMASILLA, + +ON THE TOMB OF DON QUIXOTE +EPITAPH + +}poem + +poem{ + +The scatterbrain that gave La Mancha more + Rich spoils than Jason's; who a point so keen + Had to his wit, and happier far had been +If his wit's weathercock a blunter bore; +The arm renowned far as Gaeta's shore, + Cathay, and all the lands that lie between; + The muse discreet and terrible in mien +As ever wrote on brass in days of yore; +He who surpassed the Amadises all, + And who as naught the Galaors accounted, + Supported by his love and gallantry: +Who made the Belianises sing small, + And sought renown on Rocinante mounted; + Here, underneath this cold stone, doth he lie. + +}poem + +PANIAGUADO, +ACADEMICIAN OF ARGAMASILLA, +IN LAUDEM DULCINEAE DEL TOBOSO + +poem{ + +SONNET + +She, whose full features may be here descried, + High-bosomed, with a bearing of disdain, + Is Dulcinea, she for whom in vain +The great Don Quixote of La Mancha sighed. +For her, Toboso's queen, from side to side + He traversed the grim sierra, the champaign + Of Aranjuez, and Montiel's famous plain: +On Rocinante oft a weary ride. +Malignant planets, cruel destiny, + Pursued them both, the fair Manchegan dame, +And the unconquered star of chivalry. + Nor youth nor beauty saved her from the claim +Of death; he paid love's bitter penalty, + And left the marble to preserve his name. + +}poem + +CAPRICHOSO, A MOST ACUTE ACADEMICIAN +OF ARGAMASILLA, IN PRAISE OF ROCINANTE, +STEED OF DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA + +poem{ + +SONNET + +On that proud throne of diamantine sheen, + Which the blood-reeking feet of Mars degrade, +The mad Manchegan's banner now hath been + By him in all its bravery displayed. + There hath he hung his arms and trenchant blade +Wherewith, achieving deeds till now unseen, + He slays, lays low, cleaves, hews; but art hath made +A novel style for our new paladin. +If Amadis be the proud boast of Gaul, + If by his progeny the fame of Greece + Through all the regions of the earth be spread, +Great Quixote crowned in grim Bellona's hall + To-day exalts La Mancha over these, + And above Greece or Gaul she holds her head. +Nor ends his glory here, for his good steed +Doth Brillador and Bayard far exceed; +As mettled steeds compared with Rocinante, +The reputation they have won is scanty. + +}poem + +BURLADOR, ACADEMICIAN OF ARGAMASILLA, +ON SANCHO PANZA + +poem{ + +SONNET + + The worthy Sancho Panza here you see; + A great soul once was in that body small, + Nor was there squire upon this earthly ball +So plain and simple, or of guile so free. +Within an ace of being Count was he, + And would have been but for the spite and gall + Of this vile age, mean and illiberal, +That cannot even let a donkey be. +For mounted on an ass (excuse the word), + By Rocinante's side this gentle squire + Was wont his wandering master to attend. +Delusive hopes that lure the common herd + With promises of ease, the heart's desire, + In shadows, dreams, and smoke ye always end. + +}poem + +CACHIDIABLO, +ACADEMICIAN OF ARGAMASILLA, +ON THE TOMB OF DON QUIXOTE +EPITAPH + +poem{ + +The knight lies here below, + Ill-errant and bruised sore, + Whom Rocinante bore +In his wanderings to and fro. +By the side of the knight is laid + Stolid man Sancho too, + Than whom a squire more true +Was not in the esquire trade. + +}poem + + TIQUITOC, + ACADEMICIAN OF ARGAMASILLA, +ON THE TOMB OF DULCINEA DEL TOBOSO + +poem{ + + EPITAPH +Here Dulcinea lies. + Plump was she and robust: + Now she is ashes and dust: +The end of all flesh that dies. +A lady of high degree, + With the port of a lofty dame, + And the great Don Quixote's flame, +And the pride of her village was she. + +}poem + +These were all the verses that could be deciphered; the rest, the writing +being worm-eaten, were handed over to one of the Academicians to make out +their meaning conjecturally. We have been informed that at the cost of +many sleepless nights and much toil he has succeeded, and that he means +to publish them in hopes of Don Quixote's third sally. + +"Forse altro cantera con miglior plectro." + +END OF PART I. + +DON QUIXOTE + +PART II. - +DON QUIXOTE Volume II. Complete by Miguel de Cervantes Translated by John Ormsby + +1~ DEDICATION OF PART II. + +TO THE COUNT OF LEMOS: + +These days past, when sending Your Excellency my plays, that had appeared +in print before being shown on the stage, I said, if I remember well, +that Don Quixote was putting on his spurs to go and render homage to Your +Excellency. Now I say that "with his spurs, he is on his way." Should he +reach destination methinks I shall have rendered some service to Your +Excellency, as from many parts I am urged to send him off, so as to +dispel the loathing and disgust caused by another Don Quixote who, under +the name of Second Part, has run masquerading through the whole world. +And he who has shown the greatest longing for him has been the great +Emperor of China, who wrote me a letter in Chinese a month ago and sent +it by a special courier. He asked me, or to be truthful, he begged me to +send him Don Quixote, for he intended to found a college where the +Spanish tongue would be taught, and it was his wish that the book to be +read should be the History of Don Quixote. He also added that I should go +and be the rector of this college. I asked the bearer if His Majesty had +afforded a sum in aid of my travel expenses. He answered, "No, not even +in thought." + +"Then, brother," I replied, "you can return to your China, post haste or +at whatever haste you are bound to go, as I am not fit for so long a +travel and, besides being ill, I am very much without money, while +Emperor for Emperor and Monarch for Monarch, I have at Naples the great +Count of Lemos, who, without so many petty titles of colleges and +rectorships, sustains me, protects me and does me more favour than I can +wish for." + +Thus I gave him his leave and I beg mine from you, offering Your +Excellency the "Trabajos de Persiles y Sigismunda," a book I shall finish +within four months, Deo volente, and which will be either the worst or +the best that has been composed in our language, I mean of those intended +for entertainment; at which I repent of having called it the worst, for, +in the opinion of friends, it is bound to attain the summit of possible +quality. May Your Excellency return in such health that is wished you; +Persiles will be ready to kiss your hand and I your feet, being as I am, +Your Excellency's most humble servant. + +From Madrid, this last day of October of the year one thousand six +hundred and fifteen. + +At the service of Your Excellency: + +MIGUEL DE CERVANTES SAAVEDRA + +VOLUME II. +THE AUTHOR'S PREFACE + +God bless me, gentle (or it may be plebeian) reader, how eagerly must +thou be looking forward to this preface, expecting to find there +retaliation, scolding, and abuse against the author of the second Don +Quixote--I mean him who was, they say, begotten at Tordesillas and born +at Tarragona! Well then, the truth is, I am not going to give thee that +satisfaction; for, though injuries stir up anger in humbler breasts, in +mine the rule must admit of an exception. Thou wouldst have me call him +ass, fool, and malapert, but I have no such intention; let his offence be +his punishment, with his bread let him eat it, and there's an end of it. +What I cannot help taking amiss is that he charges me with being old and +one-handed, as if it had been in my power to keep time from passing over +me, or as if the loss of my hand had been brought about in some tavern, +and not on the grandest occasion the past or present has seen, or the +future can hope to see. If my wounds have no beauty to the beholder's +eye, they are, at least, honourable in the estimation of those who know +where they were received; for the soldier shows to greater advantage dead +in battle than alive in flight; and so strongly is this my feeling, that +if now it were proposed to perform an impossibility for me, I would +rather have had my share in that mighty action, than be free from my +wounds this minute without having been present at it. Those the soldier +shows on his face and breast are stars that direct others to the heaven +of honour and ambition of merited praise; and moreover it is to be +observed that it is not with grey hairs that one writes, but with the +understanding, and that commonly improves with years. I take it amiss, +too, that he calls me envious, and explains to me, as if I were ignorant, +what envy is; for really and truly, of the two kinds there are, I only +know that which is holy, noble, and high-minded; and if that be so, as it +is, I am not likely to attack a priest, above all if, in addition, he +holds the rank of familiar of the Holy Office. And if he said what he did +on account of him on whose behalf it seems he spoke, he is entirely +mistaken; for I worship the genius of that person, and admire his works +and his unceasing and strenuous industry. After all, I am grateful to +this gentleman, the author, for saying that my novels are more satirical +than exemplary, but that they are good; for they could not be that unless +there was a little of everything in them. + +I suspect thou wilt say that I am taking a very humble line, and keeping +myself too much within the bounds of my moderation, from a feeling that +additional suffering should not be inflicted upon a sufferer, and that +what this gentleman has to endure must doubtless be very great, as he +does not dare to come out into the open field and broad daylight, but +hides his name and disguises his country as if he had been guilty of some +lese majesty. If perchance thou shouldst come to know him, tell him from +me that I do not hold myself aggrieved; for I know well what the +temptations of the devil are, and that one of the greatest is putting it +into a man's head that he can write and print a book by which he will get +as much fame as money, and as much money as fame; and to prove it I will +beg of you, in your own sprightly, pleasant way, to tell him this story. + +There was a madman in Seville who took to one of the drollest absurdities +and vagaries that ever madman in the world gave way to. It was this: he +made a tube of reed sharp at one end, and catching a dog in the street, +or wherever it might be, he with his foot held one of its legs fast, and +with his hand lifted up the other, and as best he could fixed the tube +where, by blowing, he made the dog as round as a ball; then holding it in +this position, he gave it a couple of slaps on the belly, and let it go, +saying to the bystanders (and there were always plenty of them): "Do your +worships think, now, that it is an easy thing to blow up a dog?"--Does +your worship think now, that it is an easy thing to write a book? + +And if this story does not suit him, you may, dear reader, tell him this +one, which is likewise of a madman and a dog. + +In Cordova there was another madman, whose way it was to carry a piece of +marble slab or a stone, not of the lightest, on his head, and when he +came upon any unwary dog he used to draw close to him and let the weight +fall right on top of him; on which the dog in a rage, barking and +howling, would run three streets without stopping. It so happened, +however, that one of the dogs he discharged his load upon was a +cap-maker's dog, of which his master was very fond. The stone came down +hitting it on the head, the dog raised a yell at the blow, the master saw +the affair and was wroth, and snatching up a measuring-yard rushed out at +the madman and did not leave a sound bone in his body, and at every +stroke he gave him he said, "You dog, you thief! my lurcher! Don't you +see, you brute, that my dog is a lurcher?" and so, repeating the word +"lurcher" again and again, he sent the madman away beaten to a jelly. The +madman took the lesson to heart, and vanished, and for more than a month +never once showed himself in public; but after that he came out again +with his old trick and a heavier load than ever. He came up to where +there was a dog, and examining it very carefully without venturing to let +the stone fall, he said: "This is a lurcher; ware!" In short, all the +dogs he came across, be they mastiffs or terriers, he said were lurchers; +and he discharged no more stones. Maybe it will be the same with this +historian; that he will not venture another time to discharge the weight +of his wit in books, which, being bad, are harder than stones. Tell him, +too, that I do not care a farthing for the threat he holds out to me of +depriving me of my profit by means of his book; for, to borrow from the +famous interlude of "The Perendenga," I say in answer to him, "Long life +to my lord the Veintiquatro, and Christ be with us all." Long life to the +great Conde de Lemos, whose Christian charity and well-known generosity +support me against all the strokes of my curst fortune; and long life to +the supreme benevolence of His Eminence of Toledo, Don Bernardo de +Sandoval y Rojas; and what matter if there be no printing-presses in the +world, or if they print more books against me than there are letters in +the verses of Mingo Revulgo! These two princes, unsought by any adulation +or flattery of mine, of their own goodness alone, have taken it upon them +to show me kindness and protect me, and in this I consider myself happier +and richer than if Fortune had raised me to her greatest height in the +ordinary way. The poor man may retain honour, but not the vicious; +poverty may cast a cloud over nobility, but cannot hide it altogether; +and as virtue of itself sheds a certain light, even though it be through +the straits and chinks of penury, it wins the esteem of lofty and noble +spirits, and in consequence their protection. Thou needst say no more to +him, nor will I say anything more to thee, save to tell thee to bear in +mind that this Second Part of "Don Quixote" which I offer thee is cut by +the same craftsman and from the same cloth as the First, and that in it I +present thee Don Quixote continued, and at length dead and buried, so +that no one may dare to bring forward any further evidence against him, +for that already produced is sufficient; and suffice it, too, that some +reputable person should have given an account of all these shrewd +lunacies of his without going into the matter again; for abundance, even +of good things, prevents them from being valued; and scarcity, even in +the case of what is bad, confers a certain value. I was forgetting to +tell thee that thou mayest expect the "Persiles," which I am now +finishing, and also the Second Part of "Galatea." + +Chapter I. - +Of the interview the curate and the barber had with Don Quixote about his +malady + +Cide Hamete Benengeli, in the Second Part of this history, and third +sally of Don Quixote, says that the curate and the barber remained nearly +a month without seeing him, lest they should recall or bring back to his +recollection what had taken place. They did not, however, omit to visit +his niece and housekeeper, and charge them to be careful to treat him +with attention, and give him comforting things to eat, and such as were +good for the heart and the brain, whence, it was plain to see, all his +misfortune proceeded. The niece and housekeeper replied that they did so, +and meant to do so with all possible care and assiduity, for they could +perceive that their master was now and then beginning to show signs of +being in his right mind. This gave great satisfaction to the curate and +the barber, for they concluded they had taken the right course in +carrying him off enchanted on the ox-cart, as has been described in the +First Part of this great as well as accurate history, in the last chapter +thereof. So they resolved to pay him a visit and test the improvement in +his condition, although they thought it almost impossible that there +could be any; and they agreed not to touch upon any point connected with +knight-errantry so as not to run the risk of reopening wounds which were +still so tender. + +They came to see him consequently, and found him sitting up in bed in a +green baize waistcoat and a red Toledo cap, and so withered and dried up +that he looked as if he had been turned into a mummy. They were very +cordially received by him; they asked him after his health, and he talked +to them about himself very naturally and in very well-chosen language. In +the course of their conversation they fell to discussing what they call +State-craft and systems of government, correcting this abuse and +condemning that, reforming one practice and abolishing another, each of +the three setting up for a new legislator, a modern Lycurgus, or a +brand-new Solon; and so completely did they remodel the State, that they +seemed to have thrust it into a furnace and taken out something quite +different from what they had put in; and on all the subjects they dealt +with, Don Quixote spoke with such good sense that the pair of examiners +were fully convinced that he was quite recovered and in his full senses. + +The niece and housekeeper were present at the conversation and could not +find words enough to express their thanks to God at seeing their master +so clear in his mind; the curate, however, changing his original plan, +which was to avoid touching upon matters of chivalry, resolved to test +Don Quixote's recovery thoroughly, and see whether it were genuine or +not; and so, from one subject to another, he came at last to talk of the +news that had come from the capital, and, among other things, he said it +was considered certain that the Turk was coming down with a powerful +fleet, and that no one knew what his purpose was, or when the great storm +would burst; and that all Christendom was in apprehension of this, which +almost every year calls us to arms, and that his Majesty had made +provision for the security of the coasts of Naples and Sicily and the +island of Malta. + +To this Don Quixote replied, "His Majesty has acted like a prudent +warrior in providing for the safety of his realms in time, so that the +enemy may not find him unprepared; but if my advice were taken I would +recommend him to adopt a measure which at present, no doubt, his Majesty +is very far from thinking of." + +The moment the curate heard this he said to himself, "God keep thee in +his hand, poor Don Quixote, for it seems to me thou art precipitating +thyself from the height of thy madness into the profound abyss of thy +simplicity." + +But the barber, who had the same suspicion as the curate, asked Don +Quixote what would be his advice as to the measures that he said ought to +be adopted; for perhaps it might prove to be one that would have to be +added to the list of the many impertinent suggestions that people were in +the habit of offering to princes. + +"Mine, master shaver," said Don Quixote, "will not be impertinent, but, +on the contrary, pertinent." + +"I don't mean that," said the barber, "but that experience has shown that +all or most of the expedients which are proposed to his Majesty are +either impossible, or absurd, or injurious to the King and to the +kingdom." + +"Mine, however," replied Don Quixote, "is neither impossible nor absurd, +but the easiest, the most reasonable, the readiest and most expeditious +that could suggest itself to any projector's mind." + +"You take a long time to tell it, Senor Don Quixote," said the curate. + +"I don't choose to tell it here, now," said Don Quixote, "and have it +reach the ears of the lords of the council to-morrow morning, and some +other carry off the thanks and rewards of my trouble." + +"For my part," said the barber, "I give my word here and before God that +I will not repeat what your worship says, to King, Rook or earthly +man--an oath I learned from the ballad of the curate, who, in the +prelude, told the king of the thief who had robbed him of the hundred +gold crowns and his pacing mule." + +"I am not versed in stories," said Don Quixote; "but I know the oath is a +good one, because I know the barber to be an honest fellow." + +"Even if he were not," said the curate, "I will go bail and answer for +him that in this matter he will be as silent as a dummy, under pain of +paying any penalty that may be pronounced." + +"And who will be security for you, senor curate?" said Don Quixote. + +"My profession," replied the curate, "which is to keep secrets." + +"Ods body!" said Don Quixote at this, "what more has his Majesty to do +but to command, by public proclamation, all the knights-errant that are +scattered over Spain to assemble on a fixed day in the capital, for even +if no more than half a dozen come, there may be one among them who alone +will suffice to destroy the entire might of the Turk. Give me your +attention and follow me. Is it, pray, any new thing for a single +knight-errant to demolish an army of two hundred thousand men, as if they +all had but one throat or were made of sugar paste? Nay, tell me, how +many histories are there filled with these marvels? If only (in an evil +hour for me: I don't speak for anyone else) the famous Don Belianis were +alive now, or any one of the innumerable progeny of Amadis of Gaul! If +any these were alive today, and were to come face to face with the Turk, +by my faith, I would not give much for the Turk's chance. But God will +have regard for his people, and will provide some one, who, if not so +valiant as the knights-errant of yore, at least will not be inferior to +them in spirit; but God knows what I mean, and I say no more." + +"Alas!" exclaimed the niece at this, "may I die if my master does not +want to turn knight-errant again;" to which Don Quixote replied, "A +knight-errant I shall die, and let the Turk come down or go up when he +likes, and in as strong force as he can, once more I say, God knows what +I mean." But here the barber said, "I ask your worships to give me leave +to tell a short story of something that happened in Seville, which comes +so pat to the purpose just now that I should like greatly to tell it." +Don Quixote gave him leave, and the rest prepared to listen, and he began +thus: + +"In the madhouse at Seville there was a man whom his relations had placed +there as being out of his mind. He was a graduate of Osuna in canon law; +but even if he had been of Salamanca, it was the opinion of most people +that he would have been mad all the same. This graduate, after some years +of confinement, took it into his head that he was sane and in his full +senses, and under this impression wrote to the Archbishop, entreating him +earnestly, and in very correct language, to have him released from the +misery in which he was living; for by God's mercy he had now recovered +his lost reason, though his relations, in order to enjoy his property, +kept him there, and, in spite of the truth, would make him out to be mad +until his dying day. The Archbishop, moved by repeated sensible, +well-written letters, directed one of his chaplains to make inquiry of +the madhouse as to the truth of the licentiate's statements, and to have +an interview with the madman himself, and, if it should appear that he +was in his senses, to take him out and restore him to liberty. The +chaplain did so, and the governor assured him that the man was still mad, +and that though he often spoke like a highly intelligent person, he would +in the end break out into nonsense that in quantity and quality +counterbalanced all the sensible things he had said before, as might be +easily tested by talking to him. The chaplain resolved to try the +experiment, and obtaining access to the madman conversed with him for an +hour or more, during the whole of which time he never uttered a word that +was incoherent or absurd, but, on the contrary, spoke so rationally that +the chaplain was compelled to believe him to be sane. Among other things, +he said the governor was against him, not to lose the presents his +relations made him for reporting him still mad but with lucid intervals; +and that the worst foe he had in his misfortune was his large property; +for in order to enjoy it his enemies disparaged and threw doubts upon the +mercy our Lord had shown him in turning him from a brute beast into a +man. In short, he spoke in such a way that he cast suspicion on the +governor, and made his relations appear covetous and heartless, and +himself so rational that the chaplain determined to take him away with +him that the Archbishop might see him, and ascertain for himself the +truth of the matter. Yielding to this conviction, the worthy chaplain +begged the governor to have the clothes in which the licentiate had +entered the house given to him. The governor again bade him beware of +what he was doing, as the licentiate was beyond a doubt still mad; but +all his cautions and warnings were unavailing to dissuade the chaplain +from taking him away. The governor, seeing that it was the order of the +Archbishop, obeyed, and they dressed the licentiate in his own clothes, +which were new and decent. He, as soon as he saw himself clothed like one +in his senses, and divested of the appearance of a madman, entreated the +chaplain to permit him in charity to go and take leave of his comrades +the madmen. The chaplain said he would go with him to see what madmen +there were in the house; so they went upstairs, and with them some of +those who were present. Approaching a cage in which there was a furious +madman, though just at that moment calm and quiet, the licentiate said to +him, 'Brother, think if you have any commands for me, for I am going +home, as God has been pleased, in his infinite goodness and mercy, +without any merit of mine, to restore me my reason. I am now cured and in +my senses, for with God's power nothing is impossible. Have strong hope +and trust in him, for as he has restored me to my original condition, so +likewise he will restore you if you trust in him. I will take care to +send you some good things to eat; and be sure you eat them; for I would +have you know I am convinced, as one who has gone through it, that all +this madness of ours comes of having the stomach empty and the brains +full of wind. Take courage! take courage! for despondency in misfortune +breaks down health and brings on death.' + +"To all these words of the licentiate another madman in a cage opposite +that of the furious one was listening; and raising himself up from an old +mat on which he lay stark naked, he asked in a loud voice who it was that +was going away cured and in his senses. The licentiate answered, 'It is +I, brother, who am going; I have now no need to remain here any longer, +for which I return infinite thanks to Heaven that has had so great mercy +upon me.' + +"'Mind what you are saying, licentiate; don't let the devil deceive you,' +replied the madman. 'Keep quiet, stay where you are, and you will save +yourself the trouble of coming back.' + +"'I know I am cured,' returned the licentiate, 'and that I shall not have +to go stations again.' + +"'You cured!' said the madman; 'well, we shall see; God be with you; but +I swear to you by Jupiter, whose majesty I represent on earth, that for +this crime alone, which Seville is committing to-day in releasing you +from this house, and treating you as if you were in your senses, I shall +have to inflict such a punishment on it as will be remembered for ages +and ages, amen. Dost thou not know, thou miserable little licentiate, +that I can do it, being, as I say, Jupiter the Thunderer, who hold in my +hands the fiery bolts with which I am able and am wont to threaten and +lay waste the world? But in one way only will I punish this ignorant +town, and that is by not raining upon it, nor on any part of its district +or territory, for three whole years, to be reckoned from the day and +moment when this threat is pronounced. Thou free, thou cured, thou in thy +senses! and I mad, I disordered, I bound! I will as soon think of sending +rain as of hanging myself. + +"Those present stood listening to the words and exclamations of the +madman; but our licentiate, turning to the chaplain and seizing him by +the hands, said to him, 'Be not uneasy, senor; attach no importance to +what this madman has said; for if he is Jupiter and will not send rain, +I, who am Neptune, the father and god of the waters, will rain as often +as it pleases me and may be needful.' + +"The governor and the bystanders laughed, and at their laughter the +chaplain was half ashamed, and he replied, 'For all that, Senor Neptune, +it will not do to vex Senor Jupiter; remain where you are, and some other +day, when there is a better opportunity and more time, we will come back +for you.' So they stripped the licentiate, and he was left where he was; +and that's the end of the story." + +"So that's the story, master barber," said Don Quixote, "which came in so +pat to the purpose that you could not help telling it? Master shaver, +master shaver! how blind is he who cannot see through a sieve. Is it +possible that you do not know that comparisons of wit with wit, valour +with valour, beauty with beauty, birth with birth, are always odious and +unwelcome? I, master barber, am not Neptune, the god of the waters, nor +do I try to make anyone take me for an astute man, for I am not one. My +only endeavour is to convince the world of the mistake it makes in not +reviving in itself the happy time when the order of knight-errantry was +in the field. But our depraved age does not deserve to enjoy such a +blessing as those ages enjoyed when knights-errant took upon their +shoulders the defence of kingdoms, the protection of damsels, the succour +of orphans and minors, the chastisement of the proud, and the recompense +of the humble. With the knights of these days, for the most part, it is +the damask, brocade, and rich stuffs they wear, that rustle as they go, +not the chain mail of their armour; no knight now-a-days sleeps in the +open field exposed to the inclemency of heaven, and in full panoply from +head to foot; no one now takes a nap, as they call it, without drawing +his feet out of the stirrups, and leaning upon his lance, as the +knights-errant used to do; no one now, issuing from the wood, penetrates +yonder mountains, and then treads the barren, lonely shore of the +sea--mostly a tempestuous and stormy one--and finding on the beach a +little bark without oars, sail, mast, or tackling of any kind, in the +intrepidity of his heart flings himself into it and commits himself to +the wrathful billows of the deep sea, that one moment lift him up to +heaven and the next plunge him into the depths; and opposing his breast +to the irresistible gale, finds himself, when he least expects it, three +thousand leagues and more away from the place where he embarked; and +leaping ashore in a remote and unknown land has adventures that deserve +to be written, not on parchment, but on brass. But now sloth triumphs +over energy, indolence over exertion, vice over virtue, arrogance over +courage, and theory over practice in arms, which flourished and shone +only in the golden ages and in knights-errant. For tell me, who was more +virtuous and more valiant than the famous Amadis of Gaul? Who more +discreet than Palmerin of England? Who more gracious and easy than +Tirante el Blanco? Who more courtly than Lisuarte of Greece? Who more +slashed or slashing than Don Belianis? Who more intrepid than Perion of +Gaul? Who more ready to face danger than Felixmarte of Hircania? Who more +sincere than Esplandian? Who more impetuous than Don Cirongilio of +Thrace? Who more bold than Rodamonte? Who more prudent than King Sobrino? +Who more daring than Reinaldos? Who more invincible than Roland? and who +more gallant and courteous than Ruggiero, from whom the dukes of Ferrara +of the present day are descended, according to Turpin in his +'Cosmography.' All these knights, and many more that I could name, senor +curate, were knights-errant, the light and glory of chivalry. These, or +such as these, I would have to carry out my plan, and in that case his +Majesty would find himself well served and would save great expense, and +the Turk would be left tearing his beard. And so I will stay where I am, +as the chaplain does not take me away; and if Jupiter, as the barber has +told us, will not send rain, here am I, and I will rain when I please. I +say this that Master Basin may know that I understand him." + +"Indeed, Senor Don Quixote," said the barber, "I did not mean it in that +way, and, so help me God, my intention was good, and your worship ought +not to be vexed." + +"As to whether I ought to be vexed or not," returned Don Quixote, "I +myself am the best judge." + +Hereupon the curate observed, "I have hardly said a word as yet; and I +would gladly be relieved of a doubt, arising from what Don Quixote has +said, that worries and works my conscience." + +"The senor curate has leave for more than that," returned Don Quixote, +"so he may declare his doubt, for it is not pleasant to have a doubt on +one's conscience." + +"Well then, with that permission," said the curate, "I say my doubt is +that, all I can do, I cannot persuade myself that the whole pack of +knights-errant you, Senor Don Quixote, have mentioned, were really and +truly persons of flesh and blood, that ever lived in the world; on the +contrary, I suspect it to be all fiction, fable, and falsehood, and +dreams told by men awakened from sleep, or rather still half asleep." + +"That is another mistake," replied Don Quixote, "into which many have +fallen who do not believe that there ever were such knights in the world, +and I have often, with divers people and on divers occasions, tried to +expose this almost universal error to the light of truth. Sometimes I +have not been successful in my purpose, sometimes I have, supporting it +upon the shoulders of the truth; which truth is so clear that I can +almost say I have with my own eyes seen Amadis of Gaul, who was a man of +lofty stature, fair complexion, with a handsome though black beard, of a +countenance between gentle and stern in expression, sparing of words, +slow to anger, and quick to put it away from him; and as I have depicted +Amadis, so I could, I think, portray and describe all the knights-errant +that are in all the histories in the world; for by the perception I have +that they were what their histories describe, and by the deeds they did +and the dispositions they displayed, it is possible, with the aid of +sound philosophy, to deduce their features, complexion, and stature." + +"How big, in your worship's opinion, may the giant Morgante have been, +Senor Don Quixote?" asked the barber. + +"With regard to giants," replied Don Quixote, "opinions differ as to +whether there ever were any or not in the world; but the Holy Scripture, +which cannot err by a jot from the truth, shows us that there were, when +it gives us the history of that big Philistine, Goliath, who was seven +cubits and a half in height, which is a huge size. Likewise, in the +island of Sicily, there have been found leg-bones and arm-bones so large +that their size makes it plain that their owners were giants, and as tall +as great towers; geometry puts this fact beyond a doubt. But, for all +that, I cannot speak with certainty as to the size of Morgante, though I +suspect he cannot have been very tall; and I am inclined to be of this +opinion because I find in the history in which his deeds are particularly +mentioned, that he frequently slept under a roof and as he found houses +to contain him, it is clear that his bulk could not have been anything +excessive." + +"That is true," said the curate, and yielding to the enjoyment of hearing +such nonsense, he asked him what was his notion of the features of +Reinaldos of Montalban, and Don Roland and the rest of the Twelve Peers +of France, for they were all knights-errant. + +"As for Reinaldos," replied Don Quixote, "I venture to say that he was +broad-faced, of ruddy complexion, with roguish and somewhat prominent +eyes, excessively punctilious and touchy, and given to the society of +thieves and scapegraces. With regard to Roland, or Rotolando, or Orlando +(for the histories call him by all these names), I am of opinion, and +hold, that he was of middle height, broad-shouldered, rather bow-legged, +swarthy-complexioned, red-bearded, with a hairy body and a severe +expression of countenance, a man of few words, but very polite and +well-bred." + +"If Roland was not a more graceful person than your worship has +described," said the curate, "it is no wonder that the fair Lady Angelica +rejected him and left him for the gaiety, liveliness, and grace of that +budding-bearded little Moor to whom she surrendered herself; and she +showed her sense in falling in love with the gentle softness of Medoro +rather than the roughness of Roland." + +"That Angelica, senor curate," returned Don Quixote, "was a giddy damsel, +flighty and somewhat wanton, and she left the world as full of her +vagaries as of the fame of her beauty. She treated with scorn a thousand +gentlemen, men of valour and wisdom, and took up with a smooth-faced +sprig of a page, without fortune or fame, except such reputation for +gratitude as the affection he bore his friend got for him. The great poet +who sang her beauty, the famous Ariosto, not caring to sing her +adventures after her contemptible surrender (which probably were not over +and above creditable), dropped her where he says: + +How she received the sceptre of Cathay, +Some bard of defter quill may sing some day; + +and this was no doubt a kind of prophecy, for poets are also called +vates, that is to say diviners; and its truth was made plain; for since +then a famous Andalusian poet has lamented and sung her tears, and +another famous and rare poet, a Castilian, has sung her beauty." + +"Tell me, Senor Don Quixote," said the barber here, "among all those who +praised her, has there been no poet to write a satire on this Lady +Angelica?" + +"I can well believe," replied Don Quixote, "that if Sacripante or Roland +had been poets they would have given the damsel a trimming; for it is +naturally the way with poets who have been scorned and rejected by their +ladies, whether fictitious or not, in short by those whom they select as +the ladies of their thoughts, to avenge themselves in satires and +libels--a vengeance, to be sure, unworthy of generous hearts; but up to +the present I have not heard of any defamatory verse against the Lady +Angelica, who turned the world upside down." + +"Strange," said the curate; but at this moment they heard the housekeeper +and the niece, who had previously withdrawn from the conversation, +exclaiming aloud in the courtyard, and at the noise they all ran out. + +Chapter II. - +Which treats of the notable altercation which Sancho Panza had with Don +Quixote's niece, and housekeeper, together with other droll matters + +The history relates that the outcry Don Quixote, the curate, and the +barber heard came from the niece and the housekeeper exclaiming to +Sancho, who was striving to force his way in to see Don Quixote while +they held the door against him, "What does the vagabond want in this +house? Be off to your own, brother, for it is you, and no one else, that +delude my master, and lead him astray, and take him tramping about the +country." + +To which Sancho replied, "Devil's own housekeeper! it is I who am +deluded, and led astray, and taken tramping about the country, and not +thy master! He has carried me all over the world, and you are mightily +mistaken. He enticed me away from home by a trick, promising me an +island, which I am still waiting for." + +"May evil islands choke thee, thou detestable Sancho," said the niece; +"What are islands? Is it something to eat, glutton and gormandiser that +thou art?" + +"It is not something to eat," replied Sancho, "but something to govern +and rule, and better than four cities or four judgeships at court." + +"For all that," said the housekeeper, "you don't enter here, you bag of +mischief and sack of knavery; go govern your house and dig your +seed-patch, and give over looking for islands or shylands." + +The curate and the barber listened with great amusement to the words of +the three; but Don Quixote, uneasy lest Sancho should blab and blurt out +a whole heap of mischievous stupidities, and touch upon points that might +not be altogether to his credit, called to him and made the other two +hold their tongues and let him come in. Sancho entered, and the curate +and the barber took their leave of Don Quixote, of whose recovery they +despaired when they saw how wedded he was to his crazy ideas, and how +saturated with the nonsense of his unlucky chivalry; and said the curate +to the barber, "You will see, gossip, that when we are least thinking of +it, our gentleman will be off once more for another flight." + +"I have no doubt of it," returned the barber; "but I do not wonder so +much at the madness of the knight as at the simplicity of the squire, who +has such a firm belief in all that about the island, that I suppose all +the exposures that could be imagined would not get it out of his head." + +"God help them," said the curate; "and let us be on the look-out to see +what comes of all these absurdities of the knight and squire, for it +seems as if they had both been cast in the same mould, and the madness of +the master without the simplicity of the man would not be worth a +farthing." + +"That is true," said the barber, "and I should like very much to know +what the pair are talking about at this moment." + +"I promise you," said the curate, "the niece or the housekeeper will tell +us by-and-by, for they are not the ones to forget to listen." + +Meanwhile Don Quixote shut himself up in his room with Sancho, and when +they were alone he said to him, "It grieves me greatly, Sancho, that thou +shouldst have said, and sayest, that I took thee out of thy cottage, when +thou knowest I did not remain in my house. We sallied forth together, we +took the road together, we wandered abroad together; we have had the same +fortune and the same luck; if they blanketed thee once, they belaboured +me a hundred times, and that is the only advantage I have of thee." + +"That was only reasonable," replied Sancho, "for, by what your worship +says, misfortunes belong more properly to knights-errant than to their +squires." + +"Thou art mistaken, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "according to the maxim +quando caput dolet, etc." + +"I don't understand any language but my own," said Sancho. + +"I mean to say," said Don Quixote, "that when the head suffers all the +members suffer; and so, being thy lord and master, I am thy head, and +thou a part of me as thou art my servant; and therefore any evil that +affects or shall affect me should give thee pain, and what affects thee +give pain to me." + +"It should be so," said Sancho; "but when I was blanketed as a member, my +head was on the other side of the wall, looking on while I was flying +through the air, and did not feel any pain whatever; and if the members +are obliged to feel the suffering of the head, it should be obliged to +feel their sufferings." + +"Dost thou mean to say now, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "that I did not +feel when they were blanketing thee? If thou dost, thou must not say so +or think so, for I felt more pain then in spirit than thou didst in body. +But let us put that aside for the present, for we shall have +opportunities enough for considering and settling the point; tell me, +Sancho my friend, what do they say about me in the village here? What do +the common people think of me? What do the hidalgos? What do the +caballeros? What do they say of my valour; of my achievements; of my +courtesy? How do they treat the task I have undertaken in reviving and +restoring to the world the now forgotten order of chivalry? In short, +Sancho, I would have thee tell me all that has come to thine ears on this +subject; and thou art to tell me, without adding anything to the good or +taking away anything from the bad; for it is the duty of loyal vassals to +tell the truth to their lords just as it is and in its proper shape, not +allowing flattery to add to it or any idle deference to lessen it. And I +would have thee know, Sancho, that if the naked truth, undisguised by +flattery, came to the ears of princes, times would be different, and +other ages would be reckoned iron ages more than ours, which I hold to be +the golden of these latter days. Profit by this advice, Sancho, and +report to me clearly and faithfully the truth of what thou knowest +touching what I have demanded of thee." + +"That I will do with all my heart, master," replied Sancho, "provided +your worship will not be vexed at what I say, as you wish me to say it +out in all its nakedness, without putting any more clothes on it than it +came to my knowledge in." + +"I will not be vexed at all," returned Don Quixote; "thou mayest speak +freely, Sancho, and without any beating about the bush." + +"Well then," said he, "first of all, I have to tell you that the common +people consider your worship a mighty great madman, and me no less a +fool. The hidalgos say that, not keeping within the bounds of your +quality of gentleman, you have assumed the 'Don,' and made a knight of +yourself at a jump, with four vine-stocks and a couple of acres of land, +and never a shirt to your back. The caballeros say they do not want to +have hidalgos setting up in opposition to them, particularly squire +hidalgos who polish their own shoes and darn their black stockings with +green silk." + +"That," said Don Quixote, "does not apply to me, for I always go well +dressed and never patched; ragged I may be, but ragged more from the wear +and tear of arms than of time." + +"As to your worship's valour, courtesy, accomplishments, and task, there +is a variety of opinions. Some say, 'mad but droll;' others, 'valiant but +unlucky;' others, 'courteous but meddling,' and then they go into such a +number of things that they don't leave a whole bone either in your +worship or in myself." + +"Recollect, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "that wherever virtue exists in an +eminent degree it is persecuted. Few or none of the famous men that have +lived escaped being calumniated by malice. Julius Caesar, the boldest, +wisest, and bravest of captains, was charged with being ambitious, and +not particularly cleanly in his dress, or pure in his morals. Of +Alexander, whose deeds won him the name of Great, they say that he was +somewhat of a drunkard. Of Hercules, him of the many labours, it is said +that he was lewd and luxurious. Of Don Galaor, the brother of Amadis of +Gaul, it was whispered that he was over quarrelsome, and of his brother +that he was lachrymose. So that, O Sancho, amongst all these calumnies +against good men, mine may be let pass, since they are no more than thou +hast said." + +"That's just where it is, body of my father!" + +"Is there more, then?" asked Don Quixote. + +"There's the tail to be skinned yet," said Sancho; "all so far is cakes +and fancy bread; but if your worship wants to know all about the +calumnies they bring against you, I will fetch you one this instant who +can tell you the whole of them without missing an atom; for last night +the son of Bartholomew Carrasco, who has been studying at Salamanca, came +home after having been made a bachelor, and when I went to welcome him, +he told me that your worship's history is already abroad in books, with +the title of THE INGENIOUS GENTLEMAN DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA; and he +says they mention me in it by my own name of Sancho Panza, and the lady +Dulcinea del Toboso too, and divers things that happened to us when we +were alone; so that I crossed myself in my wonder how the historian who +wrote them down could have known them." + +"I promise thee, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "the author of our history +will be some sage enchanter; for to such nothing that they choose to +write about is hidden." + +"What!" said Sancho, "a sage and an enchanter! Why, the bachelor Samson +Carrasco (that is the name of him I spoke of) says the author of the +history is called Cide Hamete Berengena." + +"That is a Moorish name," said Don Quixote. + +"May be so," replied Sancho; "for I have heard say that the Moors are +mostly great lovers of berengenas." + +"Thou must have mistaken the surname of this 'Cide'--which means in +Arabic 'Lord'--Sancho," observed Don Quixote. + +"Very likely," replied Sancho, "but if your worship wishes me to fetch +the bachelor I will go for him in a twinkling." + +"Thou wilt do me a great pleasure, my friend," said Don Quixote, "for +what thou hast told me has amazed me, and I shall not eat a morsel that +will agree with me until I have heard all about it." + +"Then I am off for him," said Sancho; and leaving his master he went in +quest of the bachelor, with whom he returned in a short time, and, all +three together, they had a very droll colloquy. + +Chapter III. - +Of the laughable conversation that passed between Don Quixote, Sancho +Panza, and the bachelor Samson Carrasco + +Don Quixote remained very deep in thought, waiting for the bachelor +Carrasco, from whom he was to hear how he himself had been put into a +book as Sancho said; and he could not persuade himself that any such +history could be in existence, for the blood of the enemies he had slain +was not yet dry on the blade of his sword, and now they wanted to make +out that his mighty achievements were going about in print. For all that, +he fancied some sage, either a friend or an enemy, might, by the aid of +magic, have given them to the press; if a friend, in order to magnify and +exalt them above the most famous ever achieved by any knight-errant; if +an enemy, to bring them to naught and degrade them below the meanest ever +recorded of any low squire, though as he said to himself, the +achievements of squires never were recorded. If, however, it were the +fact that such a history were in existence, it must necessarily, being +the story of a knight-errant, be grandiloquent, lofty, imposing, grand +and true. With this he comforted himself somewhat, though it made him +uncomfortable to think that the author was a Moor, judging by the title +of "Cide;" and that no truth was to be looked for from Moors, as they are +all impostors, cheats, and schemers. He was afraid he might have dealt +with his love affairs in some indecorous fashion, that might tend to the +discredit and prejudice of the purity of his lady Dulcinea del Toboso; he +would have had him set forth the fidelity and respect he had always +observed towards her, spurning queens, empresses, and damsels of all +sorts, and keeping in check the impetuosity of his natural impulses. +Absorbed and wrapped up in these and divers other cogitations, he was +found by Sancho and Carrasco, whom Don Quixote received with great +courtesy. + +The bachelor, though he was called Samson, was of no great bodily size, +but he was a very great wag; he was of a sallow complexion, but very +sharp-witted, somewhere about four-and-twenty years of age, with a round +face, a flat nose, and a large mouth, all indications of a mischievous +disposition and a love of fun and jokes; and of this he gave a sample as +soon as he saw Don Quixote, by falling on his knees before him and +saying, "Let me kiss your mightiness's hand, Senor Don Quixote of La +Mancha, for, by the habit of St. Peter that I wear, though I have no more +than the first four orders, your worship is one of the most famous +knights-errant that have ever been, or will be, all the world over. A +blessing on Cide Hamete Benengeli, who has written the history of your +great deeds, and a double blessing on that connoisseur who took the +trouble of having it translated out of the Arabic into our Castilian +vulgar tongue for the universal entertainment of the people!" + +Don Quixote made him rise, and said, "So, then, it is true that there is +a history of me, and that it was a Moor and a sage who wrote it?" + +"So true is it, senor," said Samson, "that my belief is there are more +than twelve thousand volumes of the said history in print this very day. +Only ask Portugal, Barcelona, and Valencia, where they have been printed, +and moreover there is a report that it is being printed at Antwerp, and I +am persuaded there will not be a country or language in which there will +not be a translation of it." + +"One of the things," here observed Don Quixote, "that ought to give most +pleasure to a virtuous and eminent man is to find himself in his lifetime +in print and in type, familiar in people's mouths with a good name; I say +with a good name, for if it be the opposite, then there is no death to be +compared to it." + +"If it goes by good name and fame," said the bachelor, "your worship +alone bears away the palm from all the knights-errant; for the Moor in +his own language, and the Christian in his, have taken care to set before +us your gallantry, your high courage in encountering dangers, your +fortitude in adversity, your patience under misfortunes as well as +wounds, the purity and continence of the platonic loves of your worship +and my lady Dona Dulcinea del Toboso-" + +"I never heard my lady Dulcinea called Dona," observed Sancho here; +"nothing more than the lady Dulcinea del Toboso; so here already the +history is wrong." + +"That is not an objection of any importance," replied Carrasco. + +"Certainly not," said Don Quixote; "but tell me, senor bachelor, what +deeds of mine are they that are made most of in this history?" + +"On that point," replied the bachelor, "opinions differ, as tastes do; +some swear by the adventure of the windmills that your worship took to be +Briareuses and giants; others by that of the fulling mills; one cries up +the description of the two armies that afterwards took the appearance of +two droves of sheep; another that of the dead body on its way to be +buried at Segovia; a third says the liberation of the galley slaves is +the best of all, and a fourth that nothing comes up to the affair with +the Benedictine giants, and the battle with the valiant Biscayan." + +"Tell me, senor bachelor," said Sancho at this point, "does the adventure +with the Yanguesans come in, when our good Rocinante went hankering after +dainties?" + +"The sage has left nothing in the ink-bottle," replied Samson; "he tells +all and sets down everything, even to the capers that worthy Sancho cut +in the blanket." + +"I cut no capers in the blanket," returned Sancho; "in the air I did, and +more of them than I liked." + +"There is no human history in the world, I suppose," said Don Quixote, +"that has not its ups and downs, but more than others such as deal with +chivalry, for they can never be entirely made up of prosperous +adventures." + +"For all that," replied the bachelor, "there are those who have read the +history who say they would have been glad if the author had left out some +of the countless cudgellings that were inflicted on Senor Don Quixote in +various encounters." + +"That's where the truth of the history comes in," said Sancho. + +"At the same time they might fairly have passed them over in silence," +observed Don Quixote; "for there is no need of recording events which do +not change or affect the truth of a history, if they tend to bring the +hero of it into contempt. AEneas was not in truth and earnest so pious as +Virgil represents him, nor Ulysses so wise as Homer describes him." + +"That is true," said Samson; "but it is one thing to write as a poet, +another to write as a historian; the poet may describe or sing things, +not as they were, but as they ought to have been; but the historian has +to write them down, not as they ought to have been, but as they were, +without adding anything to the truth or taking anything from it." + +"Well then," said Sancho, "if this senor Moor goes in for telling the +truth, no doubt among my master's drubbings mine are to be found; for +they never took the measure of his worship's shoulders without doing the +same for my whole body; but I have no right to wonder at that, for, as my +master himself says, the members must share the pain of the head." + +"You are a sly dog, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "i' faith, you have no +want of memory when you choose to remember." + +"If I were to try to forget the thwacks they gave me," said Sancho, "my +weals would not let me, for they are still fresh on my ribs." + +"Hush, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "and don't interrupt the bachelor, whom +I entreat to go on and tell all that is said about me in this history." + +"And about me," said Sancho, "for they say, too, that I am one of the +principal presonages in it." + +"Personages, not presonages, friend Sancho," said Samson. + +"What! Another word-catcher!" said Sancho; "if that's to be the way we +shall not make an end in a lifetime." + +"May God shorten mine, Sancho," returned the bachelor, "if you are not +the second person in the history, and there are even some who would +rather hear you talk than the cleverest in the whole book; though there +are some, too, who say you showed yourself over-credulous in believing +there was any possibility in the government of that island offered you by +Senor Don Quixote." + +"There is still sunshine on the wall," said Don Quixote; "and when Sancho +is somewhat more advanced in life, with the experience that years bring, +he will be fitter and better qualified for being a governor than he is at +present." + +"By God, master," said Sancho, "the island that I cannot govern with the +years I have, I'll not be able to govern with the years of Methuselah; +the difficulty is that the said island keeps its distance somewhere, I +know not where; and not that there is any want of head in me to govern +it." + +"Leave it to God, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "for all will be and perhaps +better than you think; no leaf on the tree stirs but by God's will." + +"That is true," said Samson; "and if it be God's will, there will not be +any want of a thousand islands, much less one, for Sancho to govern." + +"I have seen governors in these parts," said Sancho, "that are not to be +compared to my shoe-sole; and for all that they are called 'your +lordship' and served on silver." + +"Those are not governors of islands," observed Samson, "but of other +governments of an easier kind: those that govern islands must at least +know grammar." + +"I could manage the gram well enough," said Sancho; "but for the mar I +have neither leaning nor liking, for I don't know what it is; but leaving +this matter of the government in God's hands, to send me wherever it may +be most to his service, I may tell you, senor bachelor Samson Carrasco, +it has pleased me beyond measure that the author of this history should +have spoken of me in such a way that what is said of me gives no offence; +for, on the faith of a true squire, if he had said anything about me that +was at all unbecoming an old Christian, such as I am, the deaf would have +heard of it." + +"That would be working miracles," said Samson. + +"Miracles or no miracles," said Sancho, "let everyone mind how he speaks +or writes about people, and not set down at random the first thing that +comes into his head." + +"One of the faults they find with this history," said the bachelor, "is +that its author inserted in it a novel called 'The Ill-advised +Curiosity;' not that it is bad or ill-told, but that it is out of place +and has nothing to do with the history of his worship Senor Don Quixote." + +"I will bet the son of a dog has mixed the cabbages and the baskets," +said Sancho. + +"Then, I say," said Don Quixote, "the author of my history was no sage, +but some ignorant chatterer, who, in a haphazard and heedless way, set +about writing it, let it turn out as it might, just as Orbaneja, the +painter of Ubeda, used to do, who, when they asked him what he was +painting, answered, 'What it may turn out.' Sometimes he would paint a +cock in such a fashion, and so unlike, that he had to write alongside of +it in Gothic letters, 'This is a cock; and so it will be with my history, +which will require a commentary to make it intelligible." + +"No fear of that," returned Samson, "for it is so plain that there is +nothing in it to puzzle over; the children turn its leaves, the young +people read it, the grown men understand it, the old folk praise it; in a +word, it is so thumbed, and read, and got by heart by people of all +sorts, that the instant they see any lean hack, they say, 'There goes +Rocinante.' And those that are most given to reading it are the pages, +for there is not a lord's ante-chamber where there is not a 'Don Quixote' +to be found; one takes it up if another lays it down; this one pounces +upon it, and that begs for it. In short, the said history is the most +delightful and least injurious entertainment that has been hitherto seen, +for there is not to be found in the whole of it even the semblance of an +immodest word, or a thought that is other than Catholic." + +"To write in any other way," said Don Quixote, "would not be to write +truth, but falsehood, and historians who have recourse to falsehood ought +to be burned, like those who coin false money; and I know not what could +have led the author to have recourse to novels and irrelevant stories, +when he had so much to write about in mine; no doubt he must have gone by +the proverb 'with straw or with hay, etc,' for by merely setting forth my +thoughts, my sighs, my tears, my lofty purposes, my enterprises, he might +have made a volume as large, or larger than all the works of El Tostado +would make up. In fact, the conclusion I arrive at, senor bachelor, is, +that to write histories, or books of any kind, there is need of great +judgment and a ripe understanding. To give expression to humour, and +write in a strain of graceful pleasantry, is the gift of great geniuses. +The cleverest character in comedy is the clown, for he who would make +people take him for a fool, must not be one. History is in a measure a +sacred thing, for it should be true, and where the truth is, there God +is; but notwithstanding this, there are some who write and fling books +broadcast on the world as if they were fritters." + +"There is no book so bad but it has something good in it," said the +bachelor. + +"No doubt of that," replied Don Quixote; "but it often happens that those +who have acquired and attained a well-deserved reputation by their +writings, lose it entirely, or damage it in some degree, when they give +them to the press." + +"The reason of that," said Samson, "is, that as printed works are +examined leisurely, their faults are easily seen; and the greater the +fame of the writer, the more closely are they scrutinised. Men famous for +their genius, great poets, illustrious historians, are always, or most +commonly, envied by those who take a particular delight and pleasure in +criticising the writings of others, without having produced any of their +own." + +"That is no wonder," said Don Quixote; "for there are many divines who +are no good for the pulpit, but excellent in detecting the defects or +excesses of those who preach." + +"All that is true, Senor Don Quixote," said Carrasco; "but I wish such +fault-finders were more lenient and less exacting, and did not pay so +much attention to the spots on the bright sun of the work they grumble +at; for if aliquando bonus dormitat Homerus, they should remember how +long he remained awake to shed the light of his work with as little shade +as possible; and perhaps it may be that what they find fault with may be +moles, that sometimes heighten the beauty of the face that bears them; +and so I say very great is the risk to which he who prints a book exposes +himself, for of all impossibilities the greatest is to write one that +will satisfy and please all readers." + +"That which treats of me must have pleased few," said Don Quixote. + +"Quite the contrary," said the bachelor; "for, as stultorum infinitum est +numerus, innumerable are those who have relished the said history; but +some have brought a charge against the author's memory, inasmuch as he +forgot to say who the thief was who stole Sancho's Dapple; for it is not +stated there, but only to be inferred from what is set down, that he was +stolen, and a little farther on we see Sancho mounted on the same ass, +without any reappearance of it. They say, too, that he forgot to state +what Sancho did with those hundred crowns that he found in the valise in +the Sierra Morena, as he never alludes to them again, and there are many +who would be glad to know what he did with them, or what he spent them +on, for it is one of the serious omissions of the work." + +"Senor Samson, I am not in a humour now for going into accounts or +explanations," said Sancho; "for there's a sinking of the stomach come +over me, and unless I doctor it with a couple of sups of the old stuff it +will put me on the thorn of Santa Lucia. I have it at home, and my old +woman is waiting for me; after dinner I'll come back, and will answer you +and all the world every question you may choose to ask, as well about the +loss of the ass as about the spending of the hundred crowns;" and without +another word or waiting for a reply he made off home. + +Don Quixote begged and entreated the bachelor to stay and do penance with +him. The bachelor accepted the invitation and remained, a couple of young +pigeons were added to the ordinary fare, at dinner they talked chivalry, +Carrasco fell in with his host's humour, the banquet came to an end, they +took their afternoon sleep, Sancho returned, and their conversation was +resumed. + +Chapter IV. - +In which Sancho Panza gives a satisfactory reply to the doubts and +questions of the bachelor Samson Carrasco, together with other matters +worth knowing and telling + +Sancho came back to Don Quixote's house, and returning to the late +subject of conversation, he said, "As to what Senor Samson said, that he +would like to know by whom, or how, or when my ass was stolen, I say in +reply that the same night we went into the Sierra Morena, flying from the +Holy Brotherhood after that unlucky adventure of the galley slaves, and +the other of the corpse that was going to Segovia, my master and I +ensconced ourselves in a thicket, and there, my master leaning on his +lance, and I seated on my Dapple, battered and weary with the late frays +we fell asleep as if it had been on four feather mattresses; and I in +particular slept so sound, that, whoever he was, he was able to come and +prop me up on four stakes, which he put under the four corners of the +pack-saddle in such a way that he left me mounted on it, and took away +Dapple from under me without my feeling it." + +"That is an easy matter," said Don Quixote, "and it is no new occurrence, +for the same thing happened to Sacripante at the siege of Albracca; the +famous thief, Brunello, by the same contrivance, took his horse from +between his legs." + +"Day came," continued Sancho, "and the moment I stirred the stakes gave +way and I fell to the ground with a mighty come down; I looked about for +the ass, but could not see him; the tears rushed to my eyes and I raised +such a lamentation that, if the author of our history has not put it in, +he may depend upon it he has left out a good thing. Some days after, I +know not how many, travelling with her ladyship the Princess Micomicona, +I saw my ass, and mounted upon him, in the dress of a gipsy, was that +Gines de Pasamonte, the great rogue and rascal that my master and I freed +from the chain." + +"That is not where the mistake is," replied Samson; "it is, that before +the ass has turned up, the author speaks of Sancho as being mounted on +it." + +"I don't know what to say to that," said Sancho, "unless that the +historian made a mistake, or perhaps it might be a blunder of the +printer's." + +"No doubt that's it," said Samson; "but what became of the hundred +crowns? Did they vanish?" + +To which Sancho answered, "I spent them for my own good, and my wife's, +and my children's, and it is they that have made my wife bear so +patiently all my wanderings on highways and byways, in the service of my +master, Don Quixote; for if after all this time I had come back to the +house without a rap and without the ass, it would have been a poor +look-out for me; and if anyone wants to know anything more about me, here +I am, ready to answer the king himself in person; and it is no affair of +anyone's whether I took or did not take, whether I spent or did not +spend; for the whacks that were given me in these journeys were to be +paid for in money, even if they were valued at no more than four +maravedis apiece, another hundred crowns would not pay me for half of +them. Let each look to himself and not try to make out white black, and +black white; for each of us is as God made him, aye, and often worse." + +"I will take care," said Carrasco, "to impress upon the author of the +history that, if he prints it again, he must not forget what worthy +Sancho has said, for it will raise it a good span higher." + +"Is there anything else to correct in the history, senor bachelor?" asked +Don Quixote. + +"No doubt there is," replied he; "but not anything that will be of the +same importance as those I have mentioned." + +"Does the author promise a second part at all?" said Don Quixote. + +"He does promise one," replied Samson; "but he says he has not found it, +nor does he know who has got it; and we cannot say whether it will appear +or not; and so, on that head, as some say that no second part has ever +been good, and others that enough has been already written about Don +Quixote, it is thought there will be no second part; though some, who are +jovial rather than saturnine, say, 'Let us have more Quixotades, let Don +Quixote charge and Sancho chatter, and no matter what it may turn out, we +shall be satisfied with that.'" + +"And what does the author mean to do?" said Don Quixote. + +"What?" replied Samson; "why, as soon as he has found the history which +he is now searching for with extraordinary diligence, he will at once +give it to the press, moved more by the profit that may accrue to him +from doing so than by any thought of praise." + +Whereat Sancho observed, "The author looks for money and profit, does he? +It will be a wonder if he succeeds, for it will be only hurry, hurry, +with him, like the tailor on Easter Eve; and works done in a hurry are +never finished as perfectly as they ought to be. Let master Moor, or +whatever he is, pay attention to what he is doing, and I and my master +will give him as much grouting ready to his hand, in the way of +adventures and accidents of all sorts, as would make up not only one +second part, but a hundred. The good man fancies, no doubt, that we are +fast asleep in the straw here, but let him hold up our feet to be shod +and he will see which foot it is we go lame on. All I say is, that if my +master would take my advice, we would be now afield, redressing outrages +and righting wrongs, as is the use and custom of good knights-errant." + +Sancho had hardly uttered these words when the neighing of Rocinante fell +upon their ears, which neighing Don Quixote accepted as a happy omen, and +he resolved to make another sally in three or four days from that time. +Announcing his intention to the bachelor, he asked his advice as to the +quarter in which he ought to commence his expedition, and the bachelor +replied that in his opinion he ought to go to the kingdom of Aragon, and +the city of Saragossa, where there were to be certain solemn joustings at +the festival of St. George, at which he might win renown above all the +knights of Aragon, which would be winning it above all the knights of the +world. He commended his very praiseworthy and gallant resolution, but +admonished him to proceed with greater caution in encountering dangers, +because his life did not belong to him, but to all those who had need of +him to protect and aid them in their misfortunes. + +"There's where it is, what I abominate, Senor Samson," said Sancho here; +"my master will attack a hundred armed men as a greedy boy would half a +dozen melons. Body of the world, senor bachelor! there is a time to +attack and a time to retreat, and it is not to be always 'Santiago, and +close Spain!' Moreover, I have heard it said (and I think by my master +himself, if I remember rightly) that the mean of valour lies between the +extremes of cowardice and rashness; and if that be so, I don't want him +to fly without having good reason, or to attack when the odds make it +better not. But, above all things, I warn my master that if he is to take +me with him it must be on the condition that he is to do all the +fighting, and that I am not to be called upon to do anything except what +concerns keeping him clean and comfortable; in this I will dance +attendance on him readily; but to expect me to draw sword, even against +rascally churls of the hatchet and hood, is idle. I don't set up to be a +fighting man, Senor Samson, but only the best and most loyal squire that +ever served knight-errant; and if my master Don Quixote, in consideration +of my many faithful services, is pleased to give me some island of the +many his worship says one may stumble on in these parts, I will take it +as a great favour; and if he does not give it to me, I was born like +everyone else, and a man must not live in dependence on anyone except +God; and what is more, my bread will taste as well, and perhaps even +better, without a government than if I were a governor; and how do I know +but that in these governments the devil may have prepared some trip for +me, to make me lose my footing and fall and knock my grinders out? Sancho +I was born and Sancho I mean to die. But for all that, if heaven were to +make me a fair offer of an island or something else of the kind, without +much trouble and without much risk, I am not such a fool as to refuse it; +for they say, too, 'when they offer thee a heifer, run with a halter; and +'when good luck comes to thee, take it in.'" + +"Brother Sancho," said Carrasco, "you have spoken like a professor; but, +for all that, put your trust in God and in Senor Don Quixote, for he will +give you a kingdom, not to say an island." + +"It is all the same, be it more or be it less," replied Sancho; "though I +can tell Senor Carrasco that my master would not throw the kingdom he +might give me into a sack all in holes; for I have felt my own pulse and +I find myself sound enough to rule kingdoms and govern islands; and I +have before now told my master as much." + +"Take care, Sancho," said Samson; "honours change manners, and perhaps +when you find yourself a governor you won't know the mother that bore +you." + +"That may hold good of those that are born in the ditches," said Sancho, +"not of those who have the fat of an old Christian four fingers deep on +their souls, as I have. Nay, only look at my disposition, is that likely +to show ingratitude to anyone?" + +"God grant it," said Don Quixote; "we shall see when the government +comes; and I seem to see it already." + +He then begged the bachelor, if he were a poet, to do him the favour of +composing some verses for him conveying the farewell he meant to take of +his lady Dulcinea del Toboso, and to see that a letter of her name was +placed at the beginning of each line, so that, at the end of the verses, +"Dulcinea del Toboso" might be read by putting together the first +letters. The bachelor replied that although he was not one of the famous +poets of Spain, who were, they said, only three and a half, he would not +fail to compose the required verses; though he saw a great difficulty in +the task, as the letters which made up the name were seventeen; so, if he +made four ballad stanzas of four lines each, there would be a letter +over, and if he made them of five, what they called decimas or +redondillas, there were three letters short; nevertheless he would try to +drop a letter as well as he could, so that the name "Dulcinea del Toboso" +might be got into four ballad stanzas. + +"It must be, by some means or other," said Don Quixote, "for unless the +name stands there plain and manifest, no woman would believe the verses +were made for her." + +They agreed upon this, and that the departure should take place in three +days from that time. Don Quixote charged the bachelor to keep it a +secret, especially from the curate and Master Nicholas, and from his +niece and the housekeeper, lest they should prevent the execution of his +praiseworthy and valiant purpose. Carrasco promised all, and then took +his leave, charging Don Quixote to inform him of his good or evil +fortunes whenever he had an opportunity; and thus they bade each other +farewell, and Sancho went away to make the necessary preparations for +their expedition. + +Chapter V. - +Of the shrewd and droll conversation that passed between Sancho Panza and +his wife Teresa Panza, and other matters worthy of being duly recorded + +The translator of this history, when he comes to write this fifth +chapter, says that he considers it apocryphal, because in it Sancho Panza +speaks in a style unlike that which might have been expected from his +limited intelligence, and says things so subtle that he does not think it +possible he could have conceived them; however, desirous of doing what +his task imposed upon him, he was unwilling to leave it untranslated, and +therefore he went on to say: + +Sancho came home in such glee and spirits that his wife noticed his +happiness a bowshot off, so much so that it made her ask him, "What have +you got, Sancho friend, that you are so glad?" + +To which he replied, "Wife, if it were God's will, I should be very glad +not to be so well pleased as I show myself." + +"I don't understand you, husband," said she, "and I don't know what you +mean by saying you would be glad, if it were God's will, not to be well +pleased; for, fool as I am, I don't know how one can find pleasure in not +having it." + +"Hark ye, Teresa," replied Sancho, "I am glad because I have made up my +mind to go back to the service of my master Don Quixote, who means to go +out a third time to seek for adventures; and I am going with him again, +for my necessities will have it so, and also the hope that cheers me with +the thought that I may find another hundred crowns like those we have +spent; though it makes me sad to have to leave thee and the children; and +if God would be pleased to let me have my daily bread, dry-shod and at +home, without taking me out into the byways and cross-roads--and he could +do it at small cost by merely willing it--it is clear my happiness would +be more solid and lasting, for the happiness I have is mingled with +sorrow at leaving thee; so that I was right in saying I would be glad, if +it were God's will, not to be well pleased." + +"Look here, Sancho," said Teresa; "ever since you joined on to a +knight-errant you talk in such a roundabout way that there is no +understanding you." + +"It is enough that God understands me, wife," replied Sancho; "for he is +the understander of all things; that will do; but mind, sister, you must +look to Dapple carefully for the next three days, so that he may be fit +to take arms; double his feed, and see to the pack-saddle and other +harness, for it is not to a wedding we are bound, but to go round the +world, and play at give and take with giants and dragons and monsters, +and hear hissings and roarings and bellowings and howlings; and even all +this would be lavender, if we had not to reckon with Yanguesans and +enchanted Moors." + +"I know well enough, husband," said Teresa, "that squires-errant don't +eat their bread for nothing, and so I will be always praying to our Lord +to deliver you speedily from all that hard fortune." + +"I can tell you, wife," said Sancho, "if I did not expect to see myself +governor of an island before long, I would drop down dead on the spot." + +"Nay, then, husband," said Teresa; "let the hen live, though it be with +her pip, live, and let the devil take all the governments in the world; +you came out of your mother's womb without a government, you have lived +until now without a government, and when it is God's will you will go, or +be carried, to your grave without a government. How many there are in the +world who live without a government, and continue to live all the same, +and are reckoned in the number of the people. The best sauce in the world +is hunger, and as the poor are never without that, they always eat with a +relish. But mind, Sancho, if by good luck you should find yourself with +some government, don't forget me and your children. Remember that +Sanchico is now full fifteen, and it is right he should go to school, if +his uncle the abbot has a mind to have him trained for the Church. +Consider, too, that your daughter Mari-Sancha will not die of grief if we +marry her; for I have my suspicions that she is as eager to get a husband +as you to get a government; and, after all, a daughter looks better ill +married than well whored." + +"By my faith," replied Sancho, "if God brings me to get any sort of a +government, I intend, wife, to make such a high match for Mari-Sancha +that there will be no approaching her without calling her 'my lady." + +"Nay, Sancho," returned Teresa; "marry her to her equal, that is the +safest plan; for if you put her out of wooden clogs into high-heeled +shoes, out of her grey flannel petticoat into hoops and silk gowns, out +of the plain 'Marica' and 'thou,' into 'Dona So-and-so' and 'my lady,' +the girl won't know where she is, and at every turn she will fall into a +thousand blunders that will show the thread of her coarse homespun +stuff." + +"Tut, you fool," said Sancho; "it will be only to practise it for two or +three years; and then dignity and decorum will fit her as easily as a +glove; and if not, what matter? Let her he 'my lady,' and never mind what +happens." + +"Keep to your own station, Sancho," replied Teresa; "don't try to raise +yourself higher, and bear in mind the proverb that says, 'wipe the nose +of your neigbbour's son, and take him into your house.' A fine thing it +would be, indeed, to marry our Maria to some great count or grand +gentleman, who, when the humour took him, would abuse her and call her +clown-bred and clodhopper's daughter and spinning wench. I have not been +bringing up my daughter for that all this time, I can tell you, husband. +Do you bring home money, Sancho, and leave marrying her to my care; there +is Lope Tocho, Juan Tocho's son, a stout, sturdy young fellow that we +know, and I can see he does not look sour at the girl; and with him, one +of our own sort, she will be well married, and we shall have her always +under our eyes, and be all one family, parents and children, +grandchildren and sons-in-law, and the peace and blessing of God will +dwell among us; so don't you go marrying her in those courts and grand +palaces where they won't know what to make of her, or she what to make of +herself." + +"Why, you idiot and wife for Barabbas," said Sancho, "what do you mean by +trying, without why or wherefore, to keep me from marrying my daughter to +one who will give me grandchildren that will be called 'your lordship'? +Look ye, Teresa, I have always heard my elders say that he who does not +know how to take advantage of luck when it comes to him, has no right to +complain if it gives him the go-by; and now that it is knocking at our +door, it will not do to shut it out; let us go with the favouring breeze +that blows upon us." + +It is this sort of talk, and what Sancho says lower down, that made the +translator of the history say he considered this chapter apocryphal. + +"Don't you see, you animal," continued Sancho, "that it will be well for +me to drop into some profitable government that will lift us out of the +mire, and marry Mari-Sancha to whom I like; and you yourself will find +yourself called 'Dona Teresa Panza,' and sitting in church on a fine +carpet and cushions and draperies, in spite and in defiance of all the +born ladies of the town? No, stay as you are, growing neither greater nor +less, like a tapestry figure--Let us say no more about it, for Sanchica +shall be a countess, say what you will." + +"Are you sure of all you say, husband?" replied Teresa. "Well, for all +that, I am afraid this rank of countess for my daughter will be her ruin. +You do as you like, make a duchess or a princess of her, but I can tell +you it will not be with my will and consent. I was always a lover of +equality, brother, and I can't bear to see people give themselves airs +without any right. They called me Teresa at my baptism, a plain, simple +name, without any additions or tags or fringes of Dons or Donas; Cascajo +was my father's name, and as I am your wife, I am called Teresa Panza, +though by right I ought to be called Teresa Cascajo; but 'kings go where +laws like,' and I am content with this name without having the 'Don' put +on top of it to make it so heavy that I cannot carry it; and I don't want +to make people talk about me when they see me go dressed like a countess +or governor's wife; for they will say at once, 'See what airs the slut +gives herself! Only yesterday she was always spinning flax, and used to +go to mass with the tail of her petticoat over her head instead of a +mantle, and there she goes to-day in a hooped gown with her broaches and +airs, as if we didn't know her!' If God keeps me in my seven senses, or +five, or whatever number I have, I am not going to bring myself to such a +pass; go you, brother, and be a government or an island man, and swagger +as much as you like; for by the soul of my mother, neither my daughter +nor I are going to stir a step from our village; a respectable woman +should have a broken leg and keep at home; and to be busy at something is +a virtuous damsel's holiday; be off to your adventures along with your +Don Quixote, and leave us to our misadventures, for God will mend them +for us according as we deserve it. I don't know, I'm sure, who fixed the +'Don' to him, what neither his father nor grandfather ever had." + +"I declare thou hast a devil of some sort in thy body!" said Sancho. "God +help thee, what a lot of things thou hast strung together, one after the +other, without head or tail! What have Cascajo, and the broaches and the +proverbs and the airs, to do with what I say? Look here, fool and dolt +(for so I may call you, when you don't understand my words, and run away +from good fortune), if I had said that my daughter was to throw herself +down from a tower, or go roaming the world, as the Infanta Dona Urraca +wanted to do, you would be right in not giving way to my will; but if in +an instant, in less than the twinkling of an eye, I put the 'Don' and 'my +lady' on her back, and take her out of the stubble, and place her under a +canopy, on a dais, and on a couch, with more velvet cushions than all the +Almohades of Morocco ever had in their family, why won't you consent and +fall in with my wishes?" + +"Do you know why, husband?" replied Teresa; "because of the proverb that +says 'who covers thee, discovers thee.' At the poor man people only throw +a hasty glance; on the rich man they fix their eyes; and if the said rich +man was once on a time poor, it is then there is the sneering and the +tattle and spite of backbiters; and in the streets here they swarm as +thick as bees." + +"Look here, Teresa," said Sancho, "and listen to what I am now going to +say to you; maybe you never heard it in all your life; and I do not give +my own notions, for what I am about to say are the opinions of his +reverence the preacher, who preached in this town last Lent, and who +said, if I remember rightly, that all things present that our eyes +behold, bring themselves before us, and remain and fix themselves on our +memory much better and more forcibly than things past." + +These observations which Sancho makes here are the other ones on account +of which the translator says he regards this chapter as apocryphal, +inasmuch as they are beyond Sancho's capacity. + +"Whence it arises," he continued, "that when we see any person well +dressed and making a figure with rich garments and retinue of servants, +it seems to lead and impel us perforce to respect him, though memory may +at the same moment recall to us some lowly condition in which we have +seen him, but which, whether it may have been poverty or low birth, being +now a thing of the past, has no existence; while the only thing that has +any existence is what we see before us; and if this person whom fortune +has raised from his original lowly state (these were the very words the +padre used) to his present height of prosperity, be well bred, generous, +courteous to all, without seeking to vie with those whose nobility is of +ancient date, depend upon it, Teresa, no one will remember what he was, +and everyone will respect what he is, except indeed the envious, from +whom no fair fortune is safe." + +"I do not understand you, husband," replied Teresa; "do as you like, and +don't break my head with any more speechifying and rethoric; and if you +have revolved to do what you say-" + +"Resolved, you should say, woman," said Sancho, "not revolved." + +"Don't set yourself to wrangle with me, husband," said Teresa; "I speak +as God pleases, and don't deal in out-of-the-way phrases; and I say if +you are bent upon having a government, take your son Sancho with you, and +teach him from this time on how to hold a government; for sons ought to +inherit and learn the trades of their fathers." + +"As soon as I have the government," said Sancho, "I will send for him by +post, and I will send thee money, of which I shall have no lack, for +there is never any want of people to lend it to governors when they have +not got it; and do thou dress him so as to hide what he is and make him +look what he is to be." + +"You send the money," said Teresa, "and I'll dress him up for you as fine +as you please." + +"Then we are agreed that our daughter is to be a countess," said Sancho. + +"The day that I see her a countess," replied Teresa, "it will be the same +to me as if I was burying her; but once more I say do as you please, for +we women are born to this burden of being obedient to our husbands, +though they be dogs;" and with this she began to weep in earnest, as if +she already saw Sanchica dead and buried. + +Sancho consoled her by saying that though he must make her a countess, he +would put it off as long as possible. Here their conversation came to an +end, and Sancho went back to see Don Quixote, and make arrangements for +their departure. + +Chapter VI. - +Of what took place between Don Quixote and his niece and housekeeper; one +of the most important chapters in the whole history + +While Sancho Panza and his wife, Teresa Cascajo, held the above +irrelevant conversation, Don Quixote's niece and housekeeper were not +idle, for by a thousand signs they began to perceive that their uncle and +master meant to give them the slip the third time, and once more betake +himself to his, for them, ill-errant chivalry. They strove by all the +means in their power to divert him from such an unlucky scheme; but it +was all preaching in the desert and hammering cold iron. Nevertheless, +among many other representations made to him, the housekeeper said to +him, "In truth, master, if you do not keep still and stay quiet at home, +and give over roaming mountains and valleys like a troubled spirit, +looking for what they say are called adventures, but what I call +misfortunes, I shall have to make complaint to God and the king with loud +supplication to send some remedy." + +To which Don Quixote replied, "What answer God will give to your +complaints, housekeeper, I know not, nor what his Majesty will answer +either; I only know that if I were king I should decline to answer the +numberless silly petitions they present every day; for one of the +greatest among the many troubles kings have is being obliged to listen to +all and answer all, and therefore I should be sorry that any affairs of +mine should worry him." + +Whereupon the housekeeper said, "Tell us, senor, at his Majesty's court +are there no knights?" + +"There are," replied Don Quixote, "and plenty of them; and it is right +there should be, to set off the dignity of the prince, and for the +greater glory of the king's majesty." + +"Then might not your worship," said she, "be one of those that, without +stirring a step, serve their king and lord in his court?" + +"Recollect, my friend," said Don Quixote, "all knights cannot be +courtiers, nor can all courtiers be knights-errant, nor need they be. +There must be all sorts in the world; and though we may be all knights, +there is a great difference between one and another; for the courtiers, +without quitting their chambers, or the threshold of the court, range the +world over by looking at a map, without its costing them a farthing, and +without suffering heat or cold, hunger or thirst; but we, the true +knights-errant, measure the whole earth with our own feet, exposed to the +sun, to the cold, to the air, to the inclemencies of heaven, by day and +night, on foot and on horseback; nor do we only know enemies in pictures, +but in their own real shapes; and at all risks and on all occasions we +attack them, without any regard to childish points or rules of single +combat, whether one has or has not a shorter lance or sword, whether one +carries relics or any secret contrivance about him, whether or not the +sun is to be divided and portioned out, and other niceties of the sort +that are observed in set combats of man to man, that you know nothing +about, but I do. And you must know besides, that the true knight-errant, +though he may see ten giants, that not only touch the clouds with their +heads but pierce them, and that go, each of them, on two tall towers by +way of legs, and whose arms are like the masts of mighty ships, and each +eye like a great mill-wheel, and glowing brighter than a glass furnace, +must not on any account be dismayed by them. On the contrary, he must +attack and fall upon them with a gallant bearing and a fearless heart, +and, if possible, vanquish and destroy them, even though they have for +armour the shells of a certain fish, that they say are harder than +diamonds, and in place of swords wield trenchant blades of Damascus +steel, or clubs studded with spikes also of steel, such as I have more +than once seen. All this I say, housekeeper, that you may see the +difference there is between the one sort of knight and the other; and it +would be well if there were no prince who did not set a higher value on +this second, or more properly speaking first, kind of knights-errant; +for, as we read in their histories, there have been some among them who +have been the salvation, not merely of one kingdom, but of many." + +"Ah, senor," here exclaimed the niece, "remember that all this you are +saying about knights-errant is fable and fiction; and their histories, if +indeed they were not burned, would deserve, each of them, to have a +sambenito put on it, or some mark by which it might be known as infamous +and a corrupter of good manners." + +"By the God that gives me life," said Don Quixote, "if thou wert not my +full niece, being daughter of my own sister, I would inflict a +chastisement upon thee for the blasphemy thou hast uttered that all the +world should ring with. What! can it be that a young hussy that hardly +knows how to handle a dozen lace-bobbins dares to wag her tongue and +criticise the histories of knights-errant? What would Senor Amadis say if +he heard of such a thing? He, however, no doubt would forgive thee, for +he was the most humble-minded and courteous knight of his time, and +moreover a great protector of damsels; but some there are that might have +heard thee, and it would not have been well for thee in that case; for +they are not all courteous or mannerly; some are ill-conditioned +scoundrels; nor is it everyone that calls himself a gentleman, that is so +in all respects; some are gold, others pinchbeck, and all look like +gentlemen, but not all can stand the touchstone of truth. There are men +of low rank who strain themselves to bursting to pass for gentlemen, and +high gentlemen who, one would fancy, were dying to pass for men of low +rank; the former raise themselves by their ambition or by their virtues, +the latter debase themselves by their lack of spirit or by their vices; +and one has need of experience and discernment to distinguish these two +kinds of gentlemen, so much alike in name and so different in conduct." + +"God bless me!" said the niece, "that you should know so much, +uncle--enough, if need be, to get up into a pulpit and go preach in the +streets--and yet that you should fall into a delusion so great and a +folly so manifest as to try to make yourself out vigorous when you are +old, strong when you are sickly, able to put straight what is crooked +when you yourself are bent by age, and, above all, a caballero when you +are not one; for though gentlefolk may be so, poor men are nothing of the +kind!" + +"There is a great deal of truth in what you say, niece," returned Don +Quixote, "and I could tell you somewhat about birth that would astonish +you; but, not to mix up things human and divine, I refrain. Look you, my +dears, all the lineages in the world (attend to what I am saying) can be +reduced to four sorts, which are these: those that had humble beginnings, +and went on spreading and extending themselves until they attained +surpassing greatness; those that had great beginnings and maintained +them, and still maintain and uphold the greatness of their origin; those, +again, that from a great beginning have ended in a point like a pyramid, +having reduced and lessened their original greatness till it has come to +nought, like the point of a pyramid, which, relatively to its base or +foundation, is nothing; and then there are those--and it is they that are +the most numerous--that have had neither an illustrious beginning nor a +remarkable mid-course, and so will have an end without a name, like an +ordinary plebeian line. Of the first, those that had an humble origin and +rose to the greatness they still preserve, the Ottoman house may serve as +an example, which from an humble and lowly shepherd, its founder, has +reached the height at which we now see it. For examples of the second +sort of lineage, that began with greatness and maintains it still without +adding to it, there are the many princes who have inherited the dignity, +and maintain themselves in their inheritance, without increasing or +diminishing it, keeping peacefully within the limits of their states. Of +those that began great and ended in a point, there are thousands of +examples, for all the Pharaohs and Ptolemies of Egypt, the Caesars of +Rome, and the whole herd (if I may such a word to them) of countless +princes, monarchs, lords, Medes, Assyrians, Persians, Greeks, and +barbarians, all these lineages and lordships have ended in a point and +come to nothing, they themselves as well as their founders, for it would +be impossible now to find one of their descendants, and, even should we +find one, it would be in some lowly and humble condition. Of plebeian +lineages I have nothing to say, save that they merely serve to swell the +number of those that live, without any eminence to entitle them to any +fame or praise beyond this. From all I have said I would have you gather, +my poor innocents, that great is the confusion among lineages, and that +only those are seen to be great and illustrious that show themselves so +by the virtue, wealth, and generosity of their possessors. I have said +virtue, wealth, and generosity, because a great man who is vicious will +be a great example of vice, and a rich man who is not generous will be +merely a miserly beggar; for the possessor of wealth is not made happy by +possessing it, but by spending it, and not by spending as he pleases, but +by knowing how to spend it well. The poor gentleman has no way of showing +that he is a gentleman but by virtue, by being affable, well-bred, +courteous, gentle-mannered, and kindly, not haughty, arrogant, or +censorious, but above all by being charitable; for by two maravedis given +with a cheerful heart to the poor, he will show himself as generous as he +who distributes alms with bell-ringing, and no one that perceives him to +be endowed with the virtues I have named, even though he know him not, +will fail to recognise and set him down as one of good blood; and it +would be strange were it not so; praise has ever been the reward of +virtue, and those who are virtuous cannot fail to receive commendation. +There are two roads, my daughters, by which men may reach wealth and +honours; one is that of letters, the other that of arms. I have more of +arms than of letters in my composition, and, judging by my inclination to +arms, was born under the influence of the planet Mars. I am, therefore, +in a measure constrained to follow that road, and by it I must travel in +spite of all the world, and it will be labour in vain for you to urge me +to resist what heaven wills, fate ordains, reason requires, and, above +all, my own inclination favours; for knowing as I do the countless toils +that are the accompaniments of knight-errantry, I know, too, the infinite +blessings that are attained by it; I know that the path of virtue is very +narrow, and the road of vice broad and spacious; I know their ends and +goals are different, for the broad and easy road of vice ends in death, +and the narrow and toilsome one of virtue in life, and not transitory +life, but in that which has no end; I know, as our great Castilian poet +says, that-- + +It is by rugged paths like these they go +That scale the heights of immortality, +Unreached by those that falter here below." + +"Woe is me!" exclaimed the niece, "my lord is a poet, too! He knows +everything, and he can do everything; I will bet, if he chose to turn +mason, he could make a house as easily as a cage." + +"I can tell you, niece," replied Don Quixote, "if these chivalrous +thoughts did not engage all my faculties, there would be nothing that I +could not do, nor any sort of knickknack that would not come from my +hands, particularly cages and tooth-picks." + +At this moment there came a knocking at the door, and when they asked who +was there, Sancho Panza made answer that it was he. The instant the +housekeeper knew who it was, she ran to hide herself so as not to see +him; in such abhorrence did she hold him. The niece let him in, and his +master Don Quixote came forward to receive him with open arms, and the +pair shut themselves up in his room, where they had another conversation +not inferior to the previous one. + +Chapter VII. - +Of what passed between Don Quixote and his Squire, together with other +very notable incidents + +The instant the housekeeper saw Sancho Panza shut himself in with her +master, she guessed what they were about; and suspecting that the result +of the consultation would be a resolve to undertake a third sally, she +seized her mantle, and in deep anxiety and distress, ran to find the +bachelor Samson Carrasco, as she thought that, being a well-spoken man, +and a new friend of her master's, he might be able to persuade him to +give up any such crazy notion. She found him pacing the patio of his +house, and, perspiring and flurried, she fell at his feet the moment she +saw him. + +Carrasco, seeing how distressed and overcome she was, said to her, "What +is this, mistress housekeeper? What has happened to you? One would think +you heart-broken." + +"Nothing, Senor Samson," said she, "only that my master is breaking out, +plainly breaking out." + +"Whereabouts is he breaking out, senora?" asked Samson; "has any part of +his body burst?" + +"He is only breaking out at the door of his madness," she replied; "I +mean, dear senor bachelor, that he is going to break out again (and this +will be the third time) to hunt all over the world for what he calls +ventures, though I can't make out why he gives them that name. The first +time he was brought back to us slung across the back of an ass, and +belaboured all over; and the second time he came in an ox-cart, shut up +in a cage, in which he persuaded himself he was enchanted, and the poor +creature was in such a state that the mother that bore him would not have +known him; lean, yellow, with his eyes sunk deep in the cells of his +skull; so that to bring him round again, ever so little, cost me more +than six hundred eggs, as God knows, and all the world, and my hens too, +that won't let me tell a lie." + +"That I can well believe," replied the bachelor, "for they are so good +and so fat, and so well-bred, that they would not say one thing for +another, though they were to burst for it. In short then, mistress +housekeeper, that is all, and there is nothing the matter, except what it +is feared Don Quixote may do?" + +"No, senor," said she. + +"Well then," returned the bachelor, "don't be uneasy, but go home in +peace; get me ready something hot for breakfast, and while you are on the +way say the prayer of Santa Apollonia, that is if you know it; for I will +come presently and you will see miracles." + +"Woe is me," cried the housekeeper, "is it the prayer of Santa Apollonia +you would have me say? That would do if it was the toothache my master +had; but it is in the brains, what he has got." + +"I know what I am saying, mistress housekeeper; go, and don't set +yourself to argue with me, for you know I am a bachelor of Salamanca, and +one can't be more of a bachelor than that," replied Carrasco; and with +this the housekeeper retired, and the bachelor went to look for the +curate, and arrange with him what will be told in its proper place. + +While Don Quixote and Sancho were shut up together, they had a discussion +which the history records with great precision and scrupulous exactness. +Sancho said to his master, "Senor, I have educed my wife to let me go +with your worship wherever you choose to take me." + +"Induced, you should say, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "not educed." + +"Once or twice, as well as I remember," replied Sancho, "I have begged of +your worship not to mend my words, if so be as you understand what I mean +by them; and if you don't understand them to say 'Sancho,' or 'devil,' 'I +don't understand thee; and if I don't make my meaning plain, then you may +correct me, for I am so focile-" + +"I don't understand thee, Sancho," said Don Quixote at once; "for I know +not what 'I am so focile' means." + +"'So focile' means I am so much that way," replied Sancho. + +"I understand thee still less now," said Don Quixote. + +"Well, if you can't understand me," said Sancho, "I don't know how to put +it; I know no more, God help me." + +"Oh, now I have hit it," said Don Quixote; "thou wouldst say thou art so +docile, tractable, and gentle that thou wilt take what I say to thee, and +submit to what I teach thee." + +"I would bet," said Sancho, "that from the very first you understood me, +and knew what I meant, but you wanted to put me out that you might hear +me make another couple of dozen blunders." + +"May be so," replied Don Quixote; "but to come to the point, what does +Teresa say?" + +"Teresa says," replied Sancho, "that I should make sure with your +worship, and 'let papers speak and beards be still,' for 'he who binds +does not wrangle,' since one 'take' is better than two 'I'll give +thee's;' and I say a woman's advice is no great thing, and he who won't +take it is a fool." + +"And so say I," said Don Quixote; "continue, Sancho my friend; go on; you +talk pearls to-day." + +"The fact is," continued Sancho, "that, as your worship knows better than +I do, we are all of us liable to death, and to-day we are, and to-morrow +we are not, and the lamb goes as soon as the sheep, and nobody can +promise himself more hours of life in this world than God may be pleased +to give him; for death is deaf, and when it comes to knock at our life's +door, it is always urgent, and neither prayers, nor struggles, nor +sceptres, nor mitres, can keep it back, as common talk and report say, +and as they tell us from the pulpits every day." + +"All that is very true," said Don Quixote; "but I cannot make out what +thou art driving at." + +"What I am driving at," said Sancho, "is that your worship settle some +fixed wages for me, to be paid monthly while I am in your service, and +that the same he paid me out of your estate; for I don't care to stand on +rewards which either come late, or ill, or never at all; God help me with +my own. In short, I would like to know what I am to get, be it much or +little; for the hen will lay on one egg, and many littles make a much, +and so long as one gains something there is nothing lost. To be sure, if +it should happen (what I neither believe nor expect) that your worship +were to give me that island you have promised me, I am not so ungrateful +nor so grasping but that I would be willing to have the revenue of such +island valued and stopped out of my wages in due promotion." + +"Sancho, my friend," replied Don Quixote, "sometimes proportion may be as +good as promotion." + +"I see," said Sancho; "I'll bet I ought to have said proportion, and not +promotion; but it is no matter, as your worship has understood me." + +"And so well understood," returned Don Quixote, "that I have seen into +the depths of thy thoughts, and know the mark thou art shooting at with +the countless shafts of thy proverbs. Look here, Sancho, I would readily +fix thy wages if I had ever found any instance in the histories of the +knights-errant to show or indicate, by the slightest hint, what their +squires used to get monthly or yearly; but I have read all or the best +part of their histories, and I cannot remember reading of any +knight-errant having assigned fixed wages to his squire; I only know that +they all served on reward, and that when they least expected it, if good +luck attended their masters, they found themselves recompensed with an +island or something equivalent to it, or at the least they were left with +a title and lordship. If with these hopes and additional inducements you, +Sancho, please to return to my service, well and good; but to suppose +that I am going to disturb or unhinge the ancient usage of +knight-errantry, is all nonsense. And so, my Sancho, get you back to your +house and explain my intentions to your Teresa, and if she likes and you +like to be on reward with me, bene quidem; if not, we remain friends; for +if the pigeon-house does not lack food, it will not lack pigeons; and +bear in mind, my son, that a good hope is better than a bad holding, and +a good grievance better than a bad compensation. I speak in this way, +Sancho, to show you that I can shower down proverbs just as well as +yourself; and in short, I mean to say, and I do say, that if you don't +like to come on reward with me, and run the same chance that I run, God +be with you and make a saint of you; for I shall find plenty of squires +more obedient and painstaking, and not so thickheaded or talkative as you +are." + +When Sancho heard his master's firm, resolute language, a cloud came over +the sky with him and the wings of his heart drooped, for he had made sure +that his master would not go without him for all the wealth of the world; +and as he stood there dumbfoundered and moody, Samson Carrasco came in +with the housekeeper and niece, who were anxious to hear by what +arguments he was about to dissuade their master from going to seek +adventures. The arch wag Samson came forward, and embracing him as he had +done before, said with a loud voice, "O flower of knight-errantry! O +shining light of arms! O honour and mirror of the Spanish nation! may God +Almighty in his infinite power grant that any person or persons, who +would impede or hinder thy third sally, may find no way out of the +labyrinth of their schemes, nor ever accomplish what they most desire!" +And then, turning to the housekeeper, he said, "Mistress housekeeper may +just as well give over saying the prayer of Santa Apollonia, for I know +it is the positive determination of the spheres that Senor Don Quixote +shall proceed to put into execution his new and lofty designs; and I +should lay a heavy burden on my conscience did I not urge and persuade +this knight not to keep the might of his strong arm and the virtue of his +valiant spirit any longer curbed and checked, for by his inactivity he is +defrauding the world of the redress of wrongs, of the protection of +orphans, of the honour of virgins, of the aid of widows, and of the +support of wives, and other matters of this kind appertaining, belonging, +proper and peculiar to the order of knight-errantry. On, then, my lord +Don Quixote, beautiful and brave, let your worship and highness set out +to-day rather than to-morrow; and if anything be needed for the execution +of your purpose, here am I ready in person and purse to supply the want; +and were it requisite to attend your magnificence as squire, I should +esteem it the happiest good fortune." + +At this, Don Quixote, turning to Sancho, said, "Did I not tell thee, +Sancho, there would be squires enough and to spare for me? See now who +offers to become one; no less than the illustrious bachelor Samson +Carrasco, the perpetual joy and delight of the courts of the Salamancan +schools, sound in body, discreet, patient under heat or cold, hunger or +thirst, with all the qualifications requisite to make a knight-errant's +squire! But heaven forbid that, to gratify my own inclination, I should +shake or shatter this pillar of letters and vessel of the sciences, and +cut down this towering palm of the fair and liberal arts. Let this new +Samson remain in his own country, and, bringing honour to it, bring +honour at the same time on the grey heads of his venerable parents; for I +will be content with any squire that comes to hand, as Sancho does not +deign to accompany me." + +"I do deign," said Sancho, deeply moved and with tears in his eyes; "it +shall not be said of me, master mine," he continued, "'the bread eaten +and the company dispersed.' Nay, I come of no ungrateful stock, for all +the world knows, but particularly my own town, who the Panzas from whom I +am descended were; and, what is more, I know and have learned, by many +good words and deeds, your worship's desire to show me favour; and if I +have been bargaining more or less about my wages, it was only to please +my wife, who, when she sets herself to press a point, no hammer drives +the hoops of a cask as she drives one to do what she wants; but, after +all, a man must be a man, and a woman a woman; and as I am a man anyhow, +which I can't deny, I will be one in my own house too, let who will take +it amiss; and so there's nothing more to do but for your worship to make +your will with its codicil in such a way that it can't be provoked, and +let us set out at once, to save Senor Samson's soul from suffering, as he +says his conscience obliges him to persuade your worship to sally out +upon the world a third time; so I offer again to serve your worship +faithfully and loyally, as well and better than all the squires that +served knights-errant in times past or present." + +The bachelor was filled with amazement when he heard Sancho's phraseology +and style of talk, for though he had read the first part of his master's +history he never thought that he could be so droll as he was there +described; but now, hearing him talk of a "will and codicil that could +not be provoked," instead of "will and codicil that could not be +revoked," he believed all he had read of him, and set him down as one of +the greatest simpletons of modern times; and he said to himself that two +such lunatics as master and man the world had never seen. In fine, Don +Quixote and Sancho embraced one another and made friends, and by the +advice and with the approval of the great Carrasco, who was now their +oracle, it was arranged that their departure should take place three days +thence, by which time they could have all that was requisite for the +journey ready, and procure a closed helmet, which Don Quixote said he +must by all means take. Samson offered him one, as he knew a friend of +his who had it would not refuse it to him, though it was more dingy with +rust and mildew than bright and clean like burnished steel. + +The curses which both housekeeper and niece poured out on the bachelor +were past counting; they tore their hair, they clawed their faces, and in +the style of the hired mourners that were once in fashion, they raised a +lamentation over the departure of their master and uncle, as if it had +been his death. Samson's intention in persuading him to sally forth once +more was to do what the history relates farther on; all by the advice of +the curate and barber, with whom he had previously discussed the subject. +Finally, then, during those three days, Don Quixote and Sancho provided +themselves with what they considered necessary, and Sancho having +pacified his wife, and Don Quixote his niece and housekeeper, at +nightfall, unseen by anyone except the bachelor, who thought fit to +accompany them half a league out of the village, they set out for El +Toboso, Don Quixote on his good Rocinante and Sancho on his old Dapple, +his alforjas furnished with certain matters in the way of victuals, and +his purse with money that Don Quixote gave him to meet emergencies. +Samson embraced him, and entreated him to let him hear of his good or +evil fortunes, so that he might rejoice over the former or condole with +him over the latter, as the laws of friendship required. Don Quixote +promised him he would do so, and Samson returned to the village, and the +other two took the road for the great city of El Toboso. + +Chapter VIII. - +Wherein is related what befell don quixote on his way to see his lady +Dulcinea Del Toboso + +"Blessed be Allah the all-powerful!" says Hamete Benengeli on beginning +this eighth chapter; "blessed be Allah!" he repeats three times; and he +says he utters these thanksgivings at seeing that he has now got Don +Quixote and Sancho fairly afield, and that the readers of his delightful +history may reckon that the achievements and humours of Don Quixote and +his squire are now about to begin; and he urges them to forget the former +chivalries of the ingenious gentleman and to fix their eyes on those that +are to come, which now begin on the road to El Toboso, as the others +began on the plains of Montiel; nor is it much that he asks in +consideration of all he promises, and so he goes on to say: + +Don Quixote and Sancho were left alone, and the moment Samson took his +departure, Rocinante began to neigh, and Dapple to sigh, which, by both +knight and squire, was accepted as a good sign and a very happy omen; +though, if the truth is to be told, the sighs and brays of Dapple were +louder than the neighings of the hack, from which Sancho inferred that +his good fortune was to exceed and overtop that of his master, building, +perhaps, upon some judicial astrology that he may have known, though the +history says nothing about it; all that can be said is, that when he +stumbled or fell, he was heard to say he wished he had not come out, for +by stumbling or falling there was nothing to be got but a damaged shoe or +a broken rib; and, fool as he was, he was not much astray in this. + +Said Don Quixote, "Sancho, my friend, night is drawing on upon us as we +go, and more darkly than will allow us to reach El Toboso by daylight; +for there I am resolved to go before I engage in another adventure, and +there I shall obtain the blessing and generous permission of the peerless +Dulcinea, with which permission I expect and feel assured that I shall +conclude and bring to a happy termination every perilous adventure; for +nothing in life makes knights-errant more valorous than finding +themselves favoured by their ladies." + +"So I believe," replied Sancho; "but I think it will be difficult for +your worship to speak with her or see her, at any rate where you will be +able to receive her blessing; unless, indeed, she throws it over the wall +of the yard where I saw her the time before, when I took her the letter +that told of the follies and mad things your worship was doing in the +heart of Sierra Morena." + +"Didst thou take that for a yard wall, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "where +or at which thou sawest that never sufficiently extolled grace and +beauty? It must have been the gallery, corridor, or portico of some rich +and royal palace." + +"It might have been all that," returned Sancho, "but to me it looked like +a wall, unless I am short of memory." + +"At all events, let us go there, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "for, so that +I see her, it is the same to me whether it be over a wall, or at a +window, or through the chink of a door, or the grate of a garden; for any +beam of the sun of her beauty that reaches my eyes will give light to my +reason and strength to my heart, so that I shall be unmatched and +unequalled in wisdom and valour." + +"Well, to tell the truth, senor," said Sancho, "when I saw that sun of +the lady Dulcinea del Toboso, it was not bright enough to throw out beams +at all; it must have been, that as her grace was sifting that wheat I +told you of, the thick dust she raised came before her face like a cloud +and dimmed it." + +"What! dost thou still persist, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "in saying, +thinking, believing, and maintaining that my lady Dulcinea was sifting +wheat, that being an occupation and task entirely at variance with what +is and should be the employment of persons of distinction, who are +constituted and reserved for other avocations and pursuits that show +their rank a bowshot off? Thou hast forgotten, O Sancho, those lines of +our poet wherein he paints for us how, in their crystal abodes, those +four nymphs employed themselves who rose from their loved Tagus and +seated themselves in a verdant meadow to embroider those tissues which +the ingenious poet there describes to us, how they were worked and woven +with gold and silk and pearls; and something of this sort must have been +the employment of my lady when thou sawest her, only that the spite which +some wicked enchanter seems to have against everything of mine changes +all those things that give me pleasure, and turns them into shapes unlike +their own; and so I fear that in that history of my achievements which +they say is now in print, if haply its author was some sage who is an +enemy of mine, he will have put one thing for another, mingling a +thousand lies with one truth, and amusing himself by relating +transactions which have nothing to do with the sequence of a true +history. O envy, root of all countless evils, and cankerworm of the +virtues! All the vices, Sancho, bring some kind of pleasure with them; +but envy brings nothing but irritation, bitterness, and rage." + +"So I say too," replied Sancho; "and I suspect in that legend or history +of us that the bachelor Samson Carrasco told us he saw, my honour goes +dragged in the dirt, knocked about, up and down, sweeping the streets, as +they say. And yet, on the faith of an honest man, I never spoke ill of +any enchanter, and I am not so well off that I am to be envied; to be +sure, I am rather sly, and I have a certain spice of the rogue in me; but +all is covered by the great cloak of my simplicity, always natural and +never acted; and if I had no other merit save that I believe, as I always +do, firmly and truly in God, and all the holy Roman Catholic Church holds +and believes, and that I am a mortal enemy of the Jews, the historians +ought to have mercy on me and treat me well in their writings. But let +them say what they like; naked was I born, naked I find myself, I neither +lose nor gain; nay, while I see myself put into a book and passed on from +hand to hand over the world, I don't care a fig, let them say what they +like of me." + +"That, Sancho," returned Don Quixote, "reminds me of what happened to a +famous poet of our own day, who, having written a bitter satire against +all the courtesan ladies, did not insert or name in it a certain lady of +whom it was questionable whether she was one or not. She, seeing she was +not in the list of the poet, asked him what he had seen in her that he +did not include her in the number of the others, telling him he must add +to his satire and put her in the new part, or else look out for the +consequences. The poet did as she bade him, and left her without a shred +of reputation, and she was satisfied by getting fame though it was +infamy. In keeping with this is what they relate of that shepherd who set +fire to the famous temple of Diana, by repute one of the seven wonders of +the world, and burned it with the sole object of making his name live in +after ages; and, though it was forbidden to name him, or mention his name +by word of mouth or in writing, lest the object of his ambition should be +attained, nevertheless it became known that he was called Erostratus. And +something of the same sort is what happened in the case of the great +emperor Charles V and a gentleman in Rome. The emperor was anxious to see +that famous temple of the Rotunda, called in ancient times the temple 'of +all the gods,' but now-a-days, by a better nomenclature, 'of all the +saints,' which is the best preserved building of all those of pagan +construction in Rome, and the one which best sustains the reputation of +mighty works and magnificence of its founders. It is in the form of a +half orange, of enormous dimensions, and well lighted, though no light +penetrates it save that which is admitted by a window, or rather round +skylight, at the top; and it was from this that the emperor examined the +building. A Roman gentleman stood by his side and explained to him the +skilful construction and ingenuity of the vast fabric and its wonderful +architecture, and when they had left the skylight he said to the emperor, +'A thousand times, your Sacred Majesty, the impulse came upon me to seize +your Majesty in my arms and fling myself down from yonder skylight, so as +to leave behind me in the world a name that would last for ever.' 'I am +thankful to you for not carrying such an evil thought into effect,' said +the emperor, 'and I shall give you no opportunity in future of again +putting your loyalty to the test; and I therefore forbid you ever to +speak to me or to be where I am; and he followed up these words by +bestowing a liberal bounty upon him. My meaning is, Sancho, that the +desire of acquiring fame is a very powerful motive. What, thinkest thou, +was it that flung Horatius in full armour down from the bridge into the +depths of the Tiber? What burned the hand and arm of Mutius? What +impelled Curtius to plunge into the deep burning gulf that opened in the +midst of Rome? What, in opposition to all the omens that declared against +him, made Julius Caesar cross the Rubicon? And to come to more modern +examples, what scuttled the ships, and left stranded and cut off the +gallant Spaniards under the command of the most courteous Cortes in the +New World? All these and a variety of other great exploits are, were and +will be, the work of fame that mortals desire as a reward and a portion +of the immortality their famous deeds deserve; though we Catholic +Christians and knights-errant look more to that future glory that is +everlasting in the ethereal regions of heaven than to the vanity of the +fame that is to be acquired in this present transitory life; a fame that, +however long it may last, must after all end with the world itself, which +has its own appointed end. So that, O Sancho, in what we do we must not +overpass the bounds which the Christian religion we profess has assigned +to us. We have to slay pride in giants, envy by generosity and nobleness +of heart, anger by calmness of demeanour and equanimity, gluttony and +sloth by the spareness of our diet and the length of our vigils, lust and +lewdness by the loyalty we preserve to those whom we have made the +mistresses of our thoughts, indolence by traversing the world in all +directions seeking opportunities of making ourselves, besides Christians, +famous knights. Such, Sancho, are the means by which we reach those +extremes of praise that fair fame carries with it." + +"All that your worship has said so far," said Sancho, "I have understood +quite well; but still I would be glad if your worship would dissolve a +doubt for me, which has just this minute come into my mind." + +"Solve, thou meanest, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "say on, in God's name, +and I will answer as well as I can." + +"Tell me, senor," Sancho went on to say, "those Julys or Augusts, and all +those venturous knights that you say are now dead--where are they now?" + +"The heathens," replied Don Quixote, "are, no doubt, in hell; the +Christians, if they were good Christians, are either in purgatory or in +heaven." + +"Very good," said Sancho; "but now I want to know--the tombs where the +bodies of those great lords are, have they silver lamps before them, or +are the walls of their chapels ornamented with crutches, winding-sheets, +tresses of hair, legs and eyes in wax? Or what are they ornamented with?" + +To which Don Quixote made answer: "The tombs of the heathens were +generally sumptuous temples; the ashes of Julius Caesar's body were +placed on the top of a stone pyramid of vast size, which they now call in +Rome Saint Peter's needle. The emperor Hadrian had for a tomb a castle as +large as a good-sized village, which they called the Moles Adriani, and +is now the castle of St. Angelo in Rome. The queen Artemisia buried her +husband Mausolus in a tomb which was reckoned one of the seven wonders of +the world; but none of these tombs, or of the many others of the +heathens, were ornamented with winding-sheets or any of those other +offerings and tokens that show that they who are buried there are +saints." + +"That's the point I'm coming to," said Sancho; "and now tell me, which is +the greater work, to bring a dead man to life or to kill a giant?" + +"The answer is easy," replied Don Quixote; "it is a greater work to bring +to life a dead man." + +"Now I have got you," said Sancho; "in that case the fame of them who +bring the dead to life, who give sight to the blind, cure cripples, +restore health to the sick, and before whose tombs there are lamps +burning, and whose chapels are filled with devout folk on their knees +adoring their relics be a better fame in this life and in the other than +that which all the heathen emperors and knights-errant that have ever +been in the world have left or may leave behind them?" + +"That I grant, too," said Don Quixote. + +"Then this fame, these favours, these privileges, or whatever you call +it," said Sancho, "belong to the bodies and relics of the saints who, +with the approbation and permission of our holy mother Church, have +lamps, tapers, winding-sheets, crutches, pictures, eyes and legs, by +means of which they increase devotion and add to their own Christian +reputation. Kings carry the bodies or relics of saints on their +shoulders, and kiss bits of their bones, and enrich and adorn their +oratories and favourite altars with them." + +"What wouldst thou have me infer from all thou hast said, Sancho?" asked +Don Quixote. + +"My meaning is," said Sancho, "let us set about becoming saints, and we +shall obtain more quickly the fair fame we are striving after; for you +know, senor, yesterday or the day before yesterday (for it is so lately +one may say so) they canonised and beatified two little barefoot friars, +and it is now reckoned the greatest good luck to kiss or touch the iron +chains with which they girt and tortured their bodies, and they are held +in greater veneration, so it is said, than the sword of Roland in the +armoury of our lord the King, whom God preserve. So that, senor, it is +better to be an humble little friar of no matter what order, than a +valiant knight-errant; with God a couple of dozen of penance lashings are +of more avail than two thousand lance-thrusts, be they given to giants, +or monsters, or dragons." + +"All that is true," returned Don Quixote, "but we cannot all be friars, +and many are the ways by which God takes his own to heaven; chivalry is a +religion, there are sainted knights in glory." + +"Yes," said Sancho, "but I have heard say that there are more friars in +heaven than knights-errant." + +"That," said Don Quixote, "is because those in religious orders are more +numerous than knights." + +"The errants are many," said Sancho. + +"Many," replied Don Quixote, "but few they who deserve the name of +knights." + +With these, and other discussions of the same sort, they passed that +night and the following day, without anything worth mention happening to +them, whereat Don Quixote was not a little dejected; but at length the +next day, at daybreak, they descried the great city of El Toboso, at the +sight of which Don Quixote's spirits rose and Sancho's fell, for he did +not know Dulcinea's house, nor in all his life had he ever seen her, any +more than his master; so that they were both uneasy, the one to see her, +the other at not having seen her, and Sancho was at a loss to know what +he was to do when his master sent him to El Toboso. In the end, Don +Quixote made up his mind to enter the city at nightfall, and they waited +until the time came among some oak trees that were near El Toboso; and +when the moment they had agreed upon arrived, they made their entrance +into the city, where something happened them that may fairly be called +something. + +Chapter IX. - +Wherein is related what will be seen there + +'Twas at the very midnight hour--more or less--when Don Quixote and +Sancho quitted the wood and entered El Toboso. The town was in deep +silence, for all the inhabitants were asleep, and stretched on the broad +of their backs, as the saying is. The night was darkish, though Sancho +would have been glad had it been quite dark, so as to find in the +darkness an excuse for his blundering. All over the place nothing was to +be heard except the barking of dogs, which deafened the ears of Don +Quixote and troubled the heart of Sancho. Now and then an ass brayed, +pigs grunted, cats mewed, and the various noises they made seemed louder +in the silence of the night; all which the enamoured knight took to be of +evil omen; nevertheless he said to Sancho, "Sancho, my son, lead on to +the palace of Dulcinea, it may be that we shall find her awake." + +"Body of the sun! what palace am I to lead to," said Sancho, "when what I +saw her highness in was only a very little house?" + +"Most likely she had then withdrawn into some small apartment of her +palace," said Don Quixote, "to amuse herself with damsels, as great +ladies and princesses are accustomed to do." + +"Senor," said Sancho, "if your worship will have it in spite of me that +the house of my lady Dulcinea is a palace, is this an hour, think you, to +find the door open; and will it be right for us to go knocking till they +hear us and open the door; making a disturbance and confusion all through +the household? Are we going, do you fancy, to the house of our wenches, +like gallants who come and knock and go in at any hour, however late it +may be?" + +"Let us first of all find out the palace for certain," replied Don +Quixote, "and then I will tell thee, Sancho, what we had best do; but +look, Sancho, for either I see badly, or that dark mass that one sees +from here should be Dulcinea's palace." + +"Then let your worship lead the way," said Sancho, "perhaps it may be so; +though I see it with my eyes and touch it with my hands, I'll believe it +as much as I believe it is daylight now." + +Don Quixote took the lead, and having gone a matter of two hundred paces +he came upon the mass that produced the shade, and found it was a great +tower, and then he perceived that the building in question was no palace, +but the chief church of the town, and said he, "It's the church we have +lit upon, Sancho." + +"So I see," said Sancho, "and God grant we may not light upon our graves; +it is no good sign to find oneself wandering in a graveyard at this time +of night; and that, after my telling your worship, if I don't mistake, +that the house of this lady will be in an alley without an outlet." + +"The curse of God on thee for a blockhead!" said Don Quixote; "where hast +thou ever heard of castles and royal palaces being built in alleys +without an outlet?" + +"Senor," replied Sancho, "every country has a way of its own; perhaps +here in El Toboso it is the way to build palaces and grand buildings in +alleys; so I entreat your worship to let me search about among these +streets or alleys before me, and perhaps, in some corner or other, I may +stumble on this palace--and I wish I saw the dogs eating it for leading +us such a dance." + +"Speak respectfully of what belongs to my lady, Sancho," said Don +Quixote; "let us keep the feast in peace, and not throw the rope after +the bucket." + +"I'll hold my tongue," said Sancho, "but how am I to take it patiently +when your worship wants me, with only once seeing the house of our +mistress, to know always, and find it in the middle of the night, when +your worship can't find it, who must have seen it thousands of times?" + +"Thou wilt drive me to desperation, Sancho," said Don Quixote. "Look +here, heretic, have I not told thee a thousand times that I have never +once in my life seen the peerless Dulcinea or crossed the threshold of +her palace, and that I am enamoured solely by hearsay and by the great +reputation she bears for beauty and discretion?" + +"I hear it now," returned Sancho; "and I may tell you that if you have +not seen her, no more have I." + +"That cannot be," said Don Quixote, "for, at any rate, thou saidst, on +bringing back the answer to the letter I sent by thee, that thou sawest +her sifting wheat." + +"Don't mind that, senor," said Sancho; "I must tell you that my seeing +her and the answer I brought you back were by hearsay too, for I can no +more tell who the lady Dulcinea is than I can hit the sky." + +"Sancho, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "there are times for jests and times +when jests are out of place; if I tell thee that I have neither seen nor +spoken to the lady of my heart, it is no reason why thou shouldst say +thou hast not spoken to her or seen her, when the contrary is the case, +as thou well knowest." + +While the two were engaged in this conversation, they perceived some one +with a pair of mules approaching the spot where they stood, and from the +noise the plough made, as it dragged along the ground, they guessed him +to be some labourer who had got up before daybreak to go to his work, and +so it proved to be. He came along singing the ballad that says-- + +Ill did ye fare, ye men of France, In Roncesvalles chase-- + +"May I die, Sancho," said Don Quixote, when he heard him, "if any good +will come to us tonight! Dost thou not hear what that clown is singing?" + +"I do," said Sancho, "but what has Roncesvalles chase to do with what we +have in hand? He might just as well be singing the ballad of Calainos, +for any good or ill that can come to us in our business." + +By this time the labourer had come up, and Don Quixote asked him, "Can +you tell me, worthy friend, and God speed you, whereabouts here is the +palace of the peerless princess Dona Dulcinea del Toboso?" + +"Senor," replied the lad, "I am a stranger, and I have been only a few +days in the town, doing farm work for a rich farmer. In that house +opposite there live the curate of the village and the sacristan, and both +or either of them will be able to give your worship some account of this +lady princess, for they have a list of all the people of El Toboso; +though it is my belief there is not a princess living in the whole of it; +many ladies there are, of quality, and in her own house each of them may +be a princess." + +"Well, then, she I am inquiring for will be one of these, my friend," +said Don Quixote. + +"May be so," replied the lad; "God be with you, for here comes the +daylight;" and without waiting for any more of his questions, he whipped +on his mules. + +Sancho, seeing his master downcast and somewhat dissatisfied, said to +him, "Senor, daylight will be here before long, and it will not do for us +to let the sun find us in the street; it will be better for us to quit +the city, and for your worship to hide in some forest in the +neighbourhood, and I will come back in the daytime, and I won't leave a +nook or corner of the whole village that I won't search for the house, +castle, or palace, of my lady, and it will be hard luck for me if I don't +find it; and as soon as I have found it I will speak to her grace, and +tell her where and how your worship is waiting for her to arrange some +plan for you to see her without any damage to her honour and reputation." + +"Sancho," said Don Quixote, "thou hast delivered a thousand sentences +condensed in the compass of a few words; I thank thee for the advice thou +hast given me, and take it most gladly. Come, my son, let us go look for +some place where I may hide, while thou dost return, as thou sayest, to +seek, and speak with my lady, from whose discretion and courtesy I look +for favours more than miraculous." + +Sancho was in a fever to get his master out of the town, lest he should +discover the falsehood of the reply he had brought to him in the Sierra +Morena on behalf of Dulcinea; so he hastened their departure, which they +took at once, and two miles out of the village they found a forest or +thicket wherein Don Quixote ensconced himself, while Sancho returned to +the city to speak to Dulcinea, in which embassy things befell him which +demand fresh attention and a new chapter. + +Chapter X. - +Wherein is related the crafty device Sancho adopted to enchant the lady +Dulcinea, and other incidents as ludicrous as they are true + +When the author of this great history comes to relate what is set down in +this chapter he says he would have preferred to pass it over in silence, +fearing it would not be believed, because here Don Quixote's madness +reaches the confines of the greatest that can be conceived, and even goes +a couple of bowshots beyond the greatest. But after all, though still +under the same fear and apprehension, he has recorded it without adding +to the story or leaving out a particle of the truth, and entirely +disregarding the charges of falsehood that might be brought against him; +and he was right, for the truth may run fine but will not break, and +always rises above falsehood as oil above water; and so, going on with +his story, he says that as soon as Don Quixote had ensconced himself in +the forest, oak grove, or wood near El Toboso, he bade Sancho return to +the city, and not come into his presence again without having first +spoken on his behalf to his lady, and begged of her that it might be her +good pleasure to permit herself to be seen by her enslaved knight, and +deign to bestow her blessing upon him, so that he might thereby hope for +a happy issue in all his encounters and difficult enterprises. Sancho +undertook to execute the task according to the instructions, and to bring +back an answer as good as the one he brought back before. + +"Go, my son," said Don Quixote, "and be not dazed when thou findest +thyself exposed to the light of that sun of beauty thou art going to +seek. Happy thou, above all the squires in the world! Bear in mind, and +let it not escape thy memory, how she receives thee; if she changes +colour while thou art giving her my message; if she is agitated and +disturbed at hearing my name; if she cannot rest upon her cushion, +shouldst thou haply find her seated in the sumptuous state chamber proper +to her rank; and should she be standing, observe if she poises herself +now on one foot, now on the other; if she repeats two or three times the +reply she gives thee; if she passes from gentleness to austerity, from +asperity to tenderness; if she raises her hand to smooth her hair though +it be not disarranged. In short, my son, observe all her actions and +motions, for if thou wilt report them to me as they were, I will gather +what she hides in the recesses of her heart as regards my love; for I +would have thee know, Sancho, if thou knowest it not, that with lovers +the outward actions and motions they give way to when their loves are in +question are the faithful messengers that carry the news of what is going +on in the depths of their hearts. Go, my friend, may better fortune than +mine attend thee, and bring thee a happier issue than that which I await +in dread in this dreary solitude." + +"I will go and return quickly," said Sancho; "cheer up that little heart +of yours, master mine, for at the present moment you seem to have got one +no bigger than a hazel nut; remember what they say, that a stout heart +breaks bad luck, and that where there are no fletches there are no pegs; +and moreover they say, the hare jumps up where it's not looked for. I say +this because, if we could not find my lady's palaces or castles to-night, +now that it is daylight I count upon finding them when I least expect it, +and once found, leave it to me to manage her." + +"Verily, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "thou dost always bring in thy +proverbs happily, whatever we deal with; may God give me better luck in +what I am anxious about." + +With this, Sancho wheeled about and gave Dapple the stick, and Don +Quixote remained behind, seated on his horse, resting in his stirrups and +leaning on the end of his lance, filled with sad and troubled +forebodings; and there we will leave him, and accompany Sancho, who went +off no less serious and troubled than he left his master; so much so, +that as soon as he had got out of the thicket, and looking round saw that +Don Quixote was not within sight, he dismounted from his ass, and seating +himself at the foot of a tree began to commune with himself, saying, +"Now, brother Sancho, let us know where your worship is going. Are you +going to look for some ass that has been lost? Not at all. Then what are +you going to look for? I am going to look for a princess, that's all; and +in her for the sun of beauty and the whole heaven at once. And where do +you expect to find all this, Sancho? Where? Why, in the great city of El +Toboso. Well, and for whom are you going to look for her? For the famous +knight Don Quixote of La Mancha, who rights wrongs, gives food to those +who thirst and drink to the hungry. That's all very well, but do you know +her house, Sancho? My master says it will be some royal palace or grand +castle. And have you ever seen her by any chance? Neither I nor my master +ever saw her. And does it strike you that it would be just and right if +the El Toboso people, finding out that you were here with the intention +of going to tamper with their princesses and trouble their ladies, were +to come and cudgel your ribs, and not leave a whole bone in you? They +would, indeed, have very good reason, if they did not see that I am under +orders, and that 'you are a messenger, my friend, no blame belongs to +you.' Don't you trust to that, Sancho, for the Manchegan folk are as +hot-tempered as they are honest, and won't put up with liberties from +anybody. By the Lord, if they get scent of you, it will be worse for you, +I promise you. Be off, you scoundrel! Let the bolt fall. Why should I go +looking for three feet on a cat, to please another man; and what is more, +when looking for Dulcinea will be looking for Marica in Ravena, or the +bachelor in Salamanca? The devil, the devil and nobody else, has mixed me +up in this business!" + +Such was the soliloquy Sancho held with himself, and all the conclusion +he could come to was to say to himself again, "Well, there's remedy for +everything except death, under whose yoke we have all to pass, whether we +like it or not, when life's finished. I have seen by a thousand signs +that this master of mine is a madman fit to be tied, and for that matter, +I too, am not behind him; for I'm a greater fool than he is when I follow +him and serve him, if there's any truth in the proverb that says, 'Tell +me what company thou keepest, and I'll tell thee what thou art,' or in +that other, 'Not with whom thou art bred, but with whom thou art fed.' +Well then, if he be mad, as he is, and with a madness that mostly takes +one thing for another, and white for black, and black for white, as was +seen when he said the windmills were giants, and the monks' mules +dromedaries, flocks of sheep armies of enemies, and much more to the same +tune, it will not be very hard to make him believe that some country +girl, the first I come across here, is the lady Dulcinea; and if he does +not believe it, I'll swear it; and if he should swear, I'll swear again; +and if he persists I'll persist still more, so as, come what may, to have +my quoit always over the peg. Maybe, by holding out in this way, I may +put a stop to his sending me on messages of this kind another time; or +maybe he will think, as I suspect he will, that one of those wicked +enchanters, who he says have a spite against him, has changed her form +for the sake of doing him an ill turn and injuring him." + +With this reflection Sancho made his mind easy, counting the business as +good as settled, and stayed there till the afternoon so as to make Don +Quixote think he had time enough to go to El Toboso and return; and +things turned out so luckily for him that as he got up to mount Dapple, +he spied, coming from El Toboso towards the spot where he stood, three +peasant girls on three colts, or fillies--for the author does not make +the point clear, though it is more likely they were she-asses, the usual +mount with village girls; but as it is of no great consequence, we need +not stop to prove it. + +To be brief, the instant Sancho saw the peasant girls, he returned full +speed to seek his master, and found him sighing and uttering a thousand +passionate lamentations. When Don Quixote saw him he exclaimed, "What +news, Sancho, my friend? Am I to mark this day with a white stone or a +black?" + +"Your worship," replied Sancho, "had better mark it with ruddle, like the +inscriptions on the walls of class rooms, that those who see it may see +it plain." + +"Then thou bringest good news," said Don Quixote. + +"So good," replied Sancho, "that your worship has only to spur Rocinante +and get out into the open field to see the lady Dulcinea del Toboso, who, +with two others, damsels of hers, is coming to see your worship." + +"Holy God! what art thou saying, Sancho, my friend?" exclaimed Don +Quixote. "Take care thou art not deceiving me, or seeking by false joy to +cheer my real sadness." + +"What could I get by deceiving your worship," returned Sancho, +"especially when it will so soon be shown whether I tell the truth or +not? Come, senor, push on, and you will see the princess our mistress +coming, robed and adorned--in fact, like what she is. Her damsels and she +are all one glow of gold, all bunches of pearls, all diamonds, all +rubies, all cloth of brocade of more than ten borders; with their hair +loose on their shoulders like so many sunbeams playing with the wind; and +moreover, they come mounted on three piebald cackneys, the finest sight +ever you saw." + +"Hackneys, you mean, Sancho," said Don Quixote. + +"There is not much difference between cackneys and hackneys," said +Sancho; "but no matter what they come on, there they are, the finest +ladies one could wish for, especially my lady the princess Dulcinea, who +staggers one's senses." + +"Let us go, Sancho, my son," said Don Quixote, "and in guerdon of this +news, as unexpected as it is good, I bestow upon thee the best spoil I +shall win in the first adventure I may have; or if that does not satisfy +thee, I promise thee the foals I shall have this year from my three mares +that thou knowest are in foal on our village common." + +"I'll take the foals," said Sancho; "for it is not quite certain that the +spoils of the first adventure will be good ones." + +By this time they had cleared the wood, and saw the three village lasses +close at hand. Don Quixote looked all along the road to El Toboso, and as +he could see nobody except the three peasant girls, he was completely +puzzled, and asked Sancho if it was outside the city he had left them. + +"How outside the city?" returned Sancho. "Are your worship's eyes in the +back of your head, that you can't see that they are these who are coming +here, shining like the very sun at noonday?" + +"I see nothing, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "but three country girls on +three jackasses." + +"Now, may God deliver me from the devil!" said Sancho, "and can it be +that your worship takes three hackneys--or whatever they're called-as +white as the driven snow, for jackasses? By the Lord, I could tear my +beard if that was the case!" + +"Well, I can only say, Sancho, my friend," said Don Quixote, "that it is +as plain they are jackasses--or jennyasses--as that I am Don Quixote, and +thou Sancho Panza: at any rate, they seem to me to be so." + +"Hush, senor," said Sancho, "don't talk that way, but open your eyes, and +come and pay your respects to the lady of your thoughts, who is close +upon us now;" and with these words he advanced to receive the three +village lasses, and dismounting from Dapple, caught hold of one of the +asses of the three country girls by the halter, and dropping on both +knees on the ground, he said, "Queen and princess and duchess of beauty, +may it please your haughtiness and greatness to receive into your favour +and good-will your captive knight who stands there turned into marble +stone, and quite stupefied and benumbed at finding himself in your +magnificent presence. I am Sancho Panza, his squire, and he the vagabond +knight Don Quixote of La Mancha, otherwise called 'The Knight of the +Rueful Countenance.'" + +Don Quixote had by this time placed himself on his knees beside Sancho, +and, with eyes starting out of his head and a puzzled gaze, was regarding +her whom Sancho called queen and lady; and as he could see nothing in her +except a village lass, and not a very well-favoured one, for she was +platter-faced and snub-nosed, he was perplexed and bewildered, and did +not venture to open his lips. The country girls, at the same time, were +astonished to see these two men, so different in appearance, on their +knees, preventing their companion from going on. She, however, who had +been stopped, breaking silence, said angrily and testily, "Get out of the +way, bad luck to you, and let us pass, for we are in a hurry." + +To which Sancho returned, "Oh, princess and universal lady of El Toboso, +is not your magnanimous heart softened by seeing the pillar and prop of +knight-errantry on his knees before your sublimated presence?" + +On hearing this, one of the others exclaimed, "Woa then! why, I'm rubbing +thee down, she-ass of my father-in-law! See how the lordlings come to +make game of the village girls now, as if we here could not chaff as well +as themselves. Go your own way, and let us go ours, and it will be better +for you." + +"Get up, Sancho," said Don Quixote at this; "I see that fortune, 'with +evil done to me unsated still,' has taken possession of all the roads by +which any comfort may reach 'this wretched soul' that I carry in my +flesh. And thou, highest perfection of excellence that can be desired, +utmost limit of grace in human shape, sole relief of this afflicted heart +that adores thee, though the malign enchanter that persecutes me has +brought clouds and cataracts on my eyes, and to them, and them only, +transformed thy unparagoned beauty and changed thy features into those of +a poor peasant girl, if so be he has not at the same time changed mine +into those of some monster to render them loathsome in thy sight, refuse +not to look upon me with tenderness and love; seeing in this submission +that I make on my knees to thy transformed beauty the humility with which +my soul adores thee." + +"Hey-day! My grandfather!" cried the girl, "much I care for your +love-making! Get out of the way and let us pass, and we'll thank you." + +Sancho stood aside and let her go, very well pleased to have got so well +out of the hobble he was in. The instant the village lass who had done +duty for Dulcinea found herself free, prodding her "cackney" with a spike +she had at the end of a stick, she set off at full speed across the +field. The she-ass, however, feeling the point more acutely than usual, +began cutting such capers, that it flung the lady Dulcinea to the ground; +seeing which, Don Quixote ran to raise her up, and Sancho to fix and +girth the pack-saddle, which also had slipped under the ass's belly. The +pack-saddle being secured, as Don Quixote was about to lift up his +enchanted mistress in his arms and put her upon her beast, the lady, +getting up from the ground, saved him the trouble, for, going back a +little, she took a short run, and putting both hands on the croup of the +ass she dropped into the saddle more lightly than a falcon, and sat +astride like a man, whereat Sancho said, "Rogue! but our lady is lighter +than a lanner, and might teach the cleverest Cordovan or Mexican how to +mount; she cleared the back of the saddle in one jump, and without spurs +she is making the hackney go like a zebra; and her damsels are no way +behind her, for they all fly like the wind;" which was the truth, for as +soon as they saw Dulcinea mounted, they pushed on after her, and sped +away without looking back, for more than half a league. + +Don Quixote followed them with his eyes, and when they were no longer in +sight, he turned to Sancho and said, "How now, Sancho? thou seest how I +am hated by enchanters! And see to what a length the malice and spite +they bear me go, when they seek to deprive me of the happiness it would +give me to see my lady in her own proper form. The fact is I was born to +be an example of misfortune, and the target and mark at which the arrows +of adversity are aimed and directed. Observe too, Sancho, that these +traitors were not content with changing and transforming my Dulcinea, but +they transformed and changed her into a shape as mean and ill-favoured as +that of the village girl yonder; and at the same time they robbed her of +that which is such a peculiar property of ladies of distinction, that is +to say, the sweet fragrance that comes of being always among perfumes and +flowers. For I must tell thee, Sancho, that when I approached to put +Dulcinea upon her hackney (as thou sayest it was, though to me it +appeared a she-ass), she gave me a whiff of raw garlic that made my head +reel, and poisoned my very heart." + +"O scum of the earth!" cried Sancho at this, "O miserable, spiteful +enchanters! O that I could see you all strung by the gills, like sardines +on a twig! Ye know a great deal, ye can do a great deal, and ye do a +great deal more. It ought to have been enough for you, ye scoundrels, to +have changed the pearls of my lady's eyes into oak galls, and her hair of +purest gold into the bristles of a red ox's tail, and in short, all her +features from fair to foul, without meddling with her smell; for by that +we might somehow have found out what was hidden underneath that ugly +rind; though, to tell the truth, I never perceived her ugliness, but only +her beauty, which was raised to the highest pitch of perfection by a mole +she had on her right lip, like a moustache, with seven or eight red hairs +like threads of gold, and more than a palm long." + +"From the correspondence which exists between those of the face and those +of the body," said Don Quixote, "Dulcinea must have another mole +resembling that on the thick of the thigh on that side on which she has +the one on her ace; but hairs of the length thou hast mentioned are very +long for moles." + +"Well, all I can say is there they were as plain as could be," replied +Sancho. + +"I believe it, my friend," returned Don Quixote; "for nature bestowed +nothing on Dulcinea that was not perfect and well-finished; and so, if +she had a hundred moles like the one thou hast described, in her they +would not be moles, but moons and shining stars. But tell me, Sancho, +that which seemed to me to be a pack-saddle as thou wert fixing it, was +it a flat-saddle or a side-saddle?" + +"It was neither," replied Sancho, "but a jineta saddle, with a field +covering worth half a kingdom, so rich is it." + +"And that I could not see all this, Sancho!" said Don Quixote; "once more +I say, and will say a thousand times, I am the most unfortunate of men." + +Sancho, the rogue, had enough to do to hide his laughter, at hearing the +simplicity of the master he had so nicely befooled. At length, after a +good deal more conversation had passed between them, they remounted their +beasts, and followed the road to Saragossa, which they expected to reach +in time to take part in a certain grand festival which is held every year +in that illustrious city; but before they got there things happened to +them, so many, so important, and so strange, that they deserve to be +recorded and read, as will be seen farther on. + +Chapter XI. - +Of the strange adventure which the valiant Don Quixote had with the car +or cart of "the cortes of death" + +Dejected beyond measure did Don Quixote pursue his journey, turning over +in his mind the cruel trick the enchanters had played him in changing his +lady Dulcinea into the vile shape of the village lass, nor could he think +of any way of restoring her to her original form; and these reflections +so absorbed him, that without being aware of it he let go Rocinante's +bridle, and he, perceiving the liberty that was granted him, stopped at +every step to crop the fresh grass with which the plain abounded. + +Sancho recalled him from his reverie. "Melancholy, senor," said he, "was +made, not for beasts, but for men; but if men give way to it overmuch +they turn to beasts; control yourself, your worship; be yourself again; +gather up Rocinante's reins; cheer up, rouse yourself and show that +gallant spirit that knights-errant ought to have. What the devil is this? +What weakness is this? Are we here or in France? The devil fly away with +all the Dulcineas in the world; for the well-being of a single +knight-errant is of more consequence than all the enchantments and +transformations on earth." + +"Hush, Sancho," said Don Quixote in a weak and faint voice, "hush and +utter no blasphemies against that enchanted lady; for I alone am to blame +for her misfortune and hard fate; her calamity has come of the hatred the +wicked bear me." + +"So say I," returned Sancho; "his heart rend in twain, I trow, who saw +her once, to see her now." + +"Thou mayest well say that, Sancho," replied Don Quixote, "as thou sawest +her in the full perfection of her beauty; for the enchantment does not go +so far as to pervert thy vision or hide her loveliness from thee; against +me alone and against my eyes is the strength of its venom directed. +Nevertheless, there is one thing which has occurred to me, and that is +that thou didst ill describe her beauty to me, for, as well as I +recollect, thou saidst that her eyes were pearls; but eyes that are like +pearls are rather the eyes of a sea-bream than of a lady, and I am +persuaded that Dulcinea's must be green emeralds, full and soft, with two +rainbows for eyebrows; take away those pearls from her eyes and transfer +them to her teeth; for beyond a doubt, Sancho, thou hast taken the one +for the other, the eyes for the teeth." + +"Very likely," said Sancho; "for her beauty bewildered me as much as her +ugliness did your worship; but let us leave it all to God, who alone +knows what is to happen in this vale of tears, in this evil world of +ours, where there is hardly a thing to be found without some mixture of +wickedness, roguery, and rascality. But one thing, senor, troubles me +more than all the rest, and that is thinking what is to be done when your +worship conquers some giant, or some other knight, and orders him to go +and present himself before the beauty of the lady Dulcinea. Where is this +poor giant, or this poor wretch of a vanquished knight, to find her? I +think I can see them wandering all over El Toboso, looking like noddies, +and asking for my lady Dulcinea; and even if they meet her in the middle +of the street they won't know her any more than they would my father." + +"Perhaps, Sancho," returned Don Quixote, "the enchantment does not go so +far as to deprive conquered and presented giants and knights of the power +of recognising Dulcinea; we will try by experiment with one or two of the +first I vanquish and send to her, whether they see her or not, by +commanding them to return and give me an account of what happened to them +in this respect." + +"I declare, I think what your worship has proposed is excellent," said +Sancho; "and that by this plan we shall find out what we want to know; +and if it be that it is only from your worship she is hidden, the +misfortune will be more yours than hers; but so long as the lady Dulcinea +is well and happy, we on our part will make the best of it, and get on as +well as we can, seeking our adventures, and leaving Time to take his own +course; for he is the best physician for these and greater ailments." + +Don Quixote was about to reply to Sancho Panza, but he was prevented by a +cart crossing the road full of the most diverse and strange personages +and figures that could be imagined. He who led the mules and acted as +carter was a hideous demon; the cart was open to the sky, without a tilt +or cane roof, and the first figure that presented itself to Don Quixote's +eyes was that of Death itself with a human face; next to it was an angel +with large painted wings, and at one side an emperor, with a crown, to +all appearance of gold, on his head. At the feet of Death was the god +called Cupid, without his bandage, but with his bow, quiver, and arrows; +there was also a knight in full armour, except that he had no morion or +helmet, but only a hat decked with plumes of divers colours; and along +with these there were others with a variety of costumes and faces. All +this, unexpectedly encountered, took Don Quixote somewhat aback, and +struck terror into the heart of Sancho; but the next instant Don Quixote +was glad of it, believing that some new perilous adventure was presenting +itself to him, and under this impression, and with a spirit prepared to +face any danger, he planted himself in front of the cart, and in a loud +and menacing tone, exclaimed, "Carter, or coachman, or devil, or whatever +thou art, tell me at once who thou art, whither thou art going, and who +these folk are thou carriest in thy wagon, which looks more like Charon's +boat than an ordinary cart." + +To which the devil, stopping the cart, answered quietly, "Senor, we are +players of Angulo el Malo's company; we have been acting the play of 'The +Cortes of Death' this morning, which is the octave of Corpus Christi, in +a village behind that hill, and we have to act it this afternoon in that +village which you can see from this; and as it is so near, and to save +the trouble of undressing and dressing again, we go in the costumes in +which we perform. That lad there appears as Death, that other as an +angel, that woman, the manager's wife, plays the queen, this one the +soldier, that the emperor, and I the devil; and I am one of the principal +characters of the play, for in this company I take the leading parts. If +you want to know anything more about us, ask me and I will answer with +the utmost exactitude, for as I am a devil I am up to everything." + +"By the faith of a knight-errant," replied Don Quixote, "when I saw this +cart I fancied some great adventure was presenting itself to me; but I +declare one must touch with the hand what appears to the eye, if +illusions are to be avoided. God speed you, good people; keep your +festival, and remember, if you demand of me ought wherein I can render +you a service, I will do it gladly and willingly, for from a child I was +fond of the play, and in my youth a keen lover of the actor's art." + +While they were talking, fate so willed it that one of the company in a +mummers' dress with a great number of bells, and armed with three blown +ox-bladders at the end of a stick, joined them, and this merry-andrew +approaching Don Quixote, began flourishing his stick and banging the +ground with the bladders and cutting capers with great jingling of the +bells, which untoward apparition so startled Rocinante that, in spite of +Don Quixote's efforts to hold him in, taking the bit between his teeth he +set off across the plain with greater speed than the bones of his anatomy +ever gave any promise of. + +Sancho, who thought his master was in danger of being thrown, jumped off +Dapple, and ran in all haste to help him; but by the time he reached him +he was already on the ground, and beside him was Rocinante, who had come +down with his master, the usual end and upshot of Rocinante's vivacity +and high spirits. But the moment Sancho quitted his beast to go and help +Don Quixote, the dancing devil with the bladders jumped up on Dapple, and +beating him with them, more by the fright and the noise than by the pain +of the blows, made him fly across the fields towards the village where +they were going to hold their festival. Sancho witnessed Dapple's career +and his master's fall, and did not know which of the two cases of need he +should attend to first; but in the end, like a good squire and good +servant, he let his love for his master prevail over his affection for +his ass; though every time he saw the bladders rise in the air and come +down on the hind quarters of his Dapple he felt the pains and terrors of +death, and he would have rather had the blows fall on the apples of his +own eyes than on the least hair of his ass's tail. In this trouble and +perplexity he came to where Don Quixote lay in a far sorrier plight than +he liked, and having helped him to mount Rocinante, he said to him, +"Senor, the devil has carried off my Dapple." + +"What devil?" asked Don Quixote. + +"The one with the bladders," said Sancho. + +"Then I will recover him," said Don Quixote, "even if he be shut up with +him in the deepest and darkest dungeons of hell. Follow me, Sancho, for +the cart goes slowly, and with the mules of it I will make good the loss +of Dapple." + +"You need not take the trouble, senor," said Sancho; "keep cool, for as I +now see, the devil has let Dapple go and he is coming back to his old +quarters;" and so it turned out, for, having come down with Dapple, in +imitation of Don Quixote and Rocinante, the devil made off on foot to the +town, and the ass came back to his master. + +"For all that," said Don Quixote, "it will be well to visit the +discourtesy of that devil upon some of those in the cart, even if it were +the emperor himself." + +"Don't think of it, your worship," returned Sancho; "take my advice and +never meddle with actors, for they are a favoured class; I myself have +known an actor taken up for two murders, and yet come off scot-free; +remember that, as they are merry folk who give pleasure, everyone favours +and protects them, and helps and makes much of them, above all when they +are those of the royal companies and under patent, all or most of whom in +dress and appearance look like princes." + +"Still, for all that," said Don Quixote, "the player devil must not go +off boasting, even if the whole human race favours him." + +So saying, he made for the cart, which was now very near the town, +shouting out as he went, "Stay! halt! ye merry, jovial crew! I want to +teach you how to treat asses and animals that serve the squires of +knights-errant for steeds." + +So loud were the shouts of Don Quixote, that those in the cart heard and +understood them, and, guessing by the words what the speaker's intention +was, Death in an instant jumped out of the cart, and the emperor, the +devil carter and the angel after him, nor did the queen or the god Cupid +stay behind; and all armed themselves with stones and formed in line, +prepared to receive Don Quixote on the points of their pebbles. Don +Quixote, when he saw them drawn up in such a gallant array with uplifted +arms ready for a mighty discharge of stones, checked Rocinante and began +to consider in what way he could attack them with the least danger to +himself. As he halted Sancho came up, and seeing him disposed to attack +this well-ordered squadron, said to him, "It would be the height of +madness to attempt such an enterprise; remember, senor, that against sops +from the brook, and plenty of them, there is no defensive armour in the +world, except to stow oneself away under a brass bell; and besides, one +should remember that it is rashness, and not valour, for a single man to +attack an army that has Death in it, and where emperors fight in person, +with angels, good and bad, to help them; and if this reflection will not +make you keep quiet, perhaps it will to know for certain that among all +these, though they look like kings, princes, and emperors, there is not a +single knight-errant." + +"Now indeed thou hast hit the point, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "which +may and should turn me from the resolution I had already formed. I cannot +and must not draw sword, as I have many a time before told thee, against +anyone who is not a dubbed knight; it is for thee, Sancho, if thou wilt, +to take vengeance for the wrong done to thy Dapple; and I will help thee +from here by shouts and salutary counsels." + +"There is no occasion to take vengeance on anyone, senor," replied +Sancho; "for it is not the part of good Christians to revenge wrongs; and +besides, I will arrange it with my ass to leave his grievance to my +good-will and pleasure, and that is to live in peace as long as heaven +grants me life." + +"Well," said Don Quixote, "if that be thy determination, good Sancho, +sensible Sancho, Christian Sancho, honest Sancho, let us leave these +phantoms alone and turn to the pursuit of better and worthier adventures; +for, from what I see of this country, we cannot fail to find plenty of +marvellous ones in it." + +He at once wheeled about, Sancho ran to take possession of his Dapple, +Death and his flying squadron returned to their cart and pursued their +journey, and thus the dread adventure of the cart of Death ended happily, +thanks to the advice Sancho gave his master; who had, the following day, +a fresh adventure, of no less thrilling interest than the last, with an +enamoured knight-errant. + +Chapter XII. - +Of the strange adventure which befell the valiant Don Quixote with the +bold Knight of the mirrors + +The night succeeding the day of the encounter with Death, Don Quixote and +his squire passed under some tall shady trees, and Don Quixote at +Sancho's persuasion ate a little from the store carried by Dapple, and +over their supper Sancho said to his master, "Senor, what a fool I should +have looked if I had chosen for my reward the spoils of the first +adventure your worship achieved, instead of the foals of the three mares. +After all, 'a sparrow in the hand is better than a vulture on the wing.'" + +"At the same time, Sancho," replied Don Quixote, "if thou hadst let me +attack them as I wanted, at the very least the emperor's gold crown and +Cupid's painted wings would have fallen to thee as spoils, for I should +have taken them by force and given them into thy hands." + +"The sceptres and crowns of those play-actor emperors," said Sancho, +"were never yet pure gold, but only brass foil or tin." + +"That is true," said Don Quixote, "for it would not be right that the +accessories of the drama should be real, instead of being mere fictions +and semblances, like the drama itself; towards which, Sancho-and, as a +necessary consequence, towards those who represent and produce it--I +would that thou wert favourably disposed, for they are all instruments of +great good to the State, placing before us at every step a mirror in +which we may see vividly displayed what goes on in human life; nor is +there any similitude that shows us more faithfully what we are and ought +to be than the play and the players. Come, tell me, hast thou not seen a +play acted in which kings, emperors, pontiffs, knights, ladies, and +divers other personages were introduced? One plays the villain, another +the knave, this one the merchant, that the soldier, one the sharp-witted +fool, another the foolish lover; and when the play is over, and they have +put off the dresses they wore in it, all the actors become equal." + +"Yes, I have seen that," said Sancho. + +"Well then," said Don Quixote, "the same thing happens in the comedy and +life of this world, where some play emperors, others popes, and, in +short, all the characters that can be brought into a play; but when it is +over, that is to say when life ends, death strips them all of the +garments that distinguish one from the other, and all are equal in the +grave." + +"A fine comparison!" said Sancho; "though not so new but that I have +heard it many and many a time, as well as that other one of the game of +chess; how, so long as the game lasts, each piece has its own particular +office, and when the game is finished they are all mixed, jumbled up and +shaken together, and stowed away in the bag, which is much like ending +life in the grave." + +"Thou art growing less doltish and more shrewd every day, Sancho," said +Don Quixote. + +"Ay," said Sancho; "it must be that some of your worship's shrewdness +sticks to me; land that, of itself, is barren and dry, will come to yield +good fruit if you dung it and till it; what I mean is that your worship's +conversation has been the dung that has fallen on the barren soil of my +dry wit, and the time I have been in your service and society has been +the tillage; and with the help of this I hope to yield fruit in abundance +that will not fall away or slide from those paths of good breeding that +your worship has made in my parched understanding." + +Don Quixote laughed at Sancho's affected phraseology, and perceived that +what he said about his improvement was true, for now and then he spoke in +a way that surprised him; though always, or mostly, when Sancho tried to +talk fine and attempted polite language, he wound up by toppling over +from the summit of his simplicity into the abyss of his ignorance; and +where he showed his culture and his memory to the greatest advantage was +in dragging in proverbs, no matter whether they had any bearing or not +upon the subject in hand, as may have been seen already and will be +noticed in the course of this history. + +In conversation of this kind they passed a good part of the night, but +Sancho felt a desire to let down the curtains of his eyes, as he used to +say when he wanted to go to sleep; and stripping Dapple he left him at +liberty to graze his fill. He did not remove Rocinante's saddle, as his +master's express orders were, that so long as they were in the field or +not sleeping under a roof Rocinante was not to be stripped--the ancient +usage established and observed by knights-errant being to take off the +bridle and hang it on the saddle-bow, but to remove the saddle from the +horse--never! Sancho acted accordingly, and gave him the same liberty he +had given Dapple, between whom and Rocinante there was a friendship so +unequalled and so strong, that it is handed down by tradition from father +to son, that the author of this veracious history devoted some special +chapters to it, which, in order to preserve the propriety and decorum due +to a history so heroic, he did not insert therein; although at times he +forgets this resolution of his and describes how eagerly the two beasts +would scratch one another when they were together and how, when they were +tired or full, Rocinante would lay his neck across Dapple's, stretching +half a yard or more on the other side, and the pair would stand thus, +gazing thoughtfully on the ground, for three days, or at least so long as +they were left alone, or hunger did not drive them to go and look for +food. I may add that they say the author left it on record that he +likened their friendship to that of Nisus and Euryalus, and Pylades and +Orestes; and if that be so, it may be perceived, to the admiration of +mankind, how firm the friendship must have been between these two +peaceful animals, shaming men, who preserve friendships with one another +so badly. This was why it was said-- + +For friend no longer is there friend; +The reeds turn lances now. + +And some one else has sung-- + +Friend to friend the bug, etc. + +And let no one fancy that the author was at all astray when he compared +the friendship of these animals to that of men; for men have received +many lessons from beasts, and learned many important things, as, for +example, the clyster from the stork, vomit and gratitude from the dog, +watchfulness from the crane, foresight from the ant, modesty from the +elephant, and loyalty from the horse. + +Sancho at last fell asleep at the foot of a cork tree, while Don Quixote +dozed at that of a sturdy oak; but a short time only had elapsed when a +noise he heard behind him awoke him, and rising up startled, he listened +and looked in the direction the noise came from, and perceived two men on +horseback, one of whom, letting himself drop from the saddle, said to the +other, "Dismount, my friend, and take the bridles off the horses, for, so +far as I can see, this place will furnish grass for them, and the +solitude and silence my love-sick thoughts need of." As he said this he +stretched himself upon the ground, and as he flung himself down, the +armour in which he was clad rattled, whereby Don Quixote perceived that +he must be a knight-errant; and going over to Sancho, who was asleep, he +shook him by the arm and with no small difficulty brought him back to his +senses, and said in a low voice to him, "Brother Sancho, we have got an +adventure." + +"God send us a good one," said Sancho; "and where may her ladyship the +adventure be?" + +"Where, Sancho?" replied Don Quixote; "turn thine eyes and look, and thou +wilt see stretched there a knight-errant, who, it strikes me, is not over +and above happy, for I saw him fling himself off his horse and throw +himself on the ground with a certain air of dejection, and his armour +rattled as he fell." + +"Well," said Sancho, "how does your worship make out that to be an +adventure?" + +"I do not mean to say," returned Don Quixote, "that it is a complete +adventure, but that it is the beginning of one, for it is in this way +adventures begin. But listen, for it seems he is tuning a lute or guitar, +and from the way he is spitting and clearing his chest he must be getting +ready to sing something." + +"Faith, you are right," said Sancho, "and no doubt he is some enamoured +knight." + +"There is no knight-errant that is not," said Don Quixote; "but let us +listen to him, for, if he sings, by that thread we shall extract the ball +of his thoughts; because out of the abundance of the heart the mouth +speaketh." + +Sancho was about to reply to his master, but the Knight of the Grove's +voice, which was neither very bad nor very good, stopped him, and +listening attentively the pair heard him sing this + +poem{ + +SONNET + +Your pleasure, prithee, lady mine, unfold; + Declare the terms that I am to obey; +My will to yours submissively I mould, + And from your law my feet shall never stray. + Would you I die, to silent grief a prey? +Then count me even now as dead and cold; + Would you I tell my woes in some new way? +Then shall my tale by Love itself be told. +The unison of opposites to prove, + Of the soft wax and diamond hard am I; +But still, obedient to the laws of love, + Here, hard or soft, I offer you my breast, + Whate'er you grave or stamp thereon shall rest + Indelible for all eternity. + +}poem + +With an "Ah me!" that seemed to be drawn from the inmost recesses of his +heart, the Knight of the Grove brought his lay to an end, and shortly +afterwards exclaimed in a melancholy and piteous voice, "O fairest and +most ungrateful woman on earth! What! can it be, most serene Casildea de +Vandalia, that thou wilt suffer this thy captive knight to waste away and +perish in ceaseless wanderings and rude and arduous toils? It is not +enough that I have compelled all the knights of Navarre, all the Leonese, +all the Tartesians, all the Castilians, and finally all the knights of La +Mancha, to confess thee the most beautiful in the world?" + +"Not so," said Don Quixote at this, "for I am of La Mancha, and I have +never confessed anything of the sort, nor could I nor should I confess a +thing so much to the prejudice of my lady's beauty; thou seest how this +knight is raving, Sancho. But let us listen, perhaps he will tell us more +about himself." + +"That he will," returned Sancho, "for he seems in a mood to bewail +himself for a month at a stretch." + +But this was not the case, for the Knight of the Grove, hearing voices +near him, instead of continuing his lamentation, stood up and exclaimed +in a distinct but courteous tone, "Who goes there? What are you? Do you +belong to the number of the happy or of the miserable?" + +"Of the miserable," answered Don Quixote. + +"Then come to me," said he of the Grove, "and rest assured that it is to +woe itself and affliction itself you come." + +Don Quixote, finding himself answered in such a soft and courteous +manner, went over to him, and so did Sancho. + +The doleful knight took Don Quixote by the arm, saying, "Sit down here, +sir knight; for, that you are one, and of those that profess +knight-errantry, it is to me a sufficient proof to have found you in this +place, where solitude and night, the natural couch and proper retreat of +knights-errant, keep you company." To which Don made answer, "A knight I +am of the profession you mention, and though sorrows, misfortunes, and +calamities have made my heart their abode, the compassion I feel for the +misfortunes of others has not been thereby banished from it. From what +you have just now sung I gather that yours spring from love, I mean from +the love you bear that fair ingrate you named in your lament." + +In the meantime, they had seated themselves together on the hard ground +peaceably and sociably, just as if, as soon as day broke, they were not +going to break one another's heads. + +"Are you, sir knight, in love perchance?" asked he of the Grove of Don +Quixote. + +"By mischance I am," replied Don Quixote; "though the ills arising from +well-bestowed affections should be esteemed favours rather than +misfortunes." + +"That is true," returned he of the Grove, "if scorn did not unsettle our +reason and understanding, for if it be excessive it looks like revenge." + +"I was never scorned by my lady," said Don Quixote. + +"Certainly not," said Sancho, who stood close by, "for my lady is as a +lamb, and softer than a roll of butter." + +"Is this your squire?" asked he of the Grove. + +"He is," said Don Quixote. + +"I never yet saw a squire," said he of the Grove, "who ventured to speak +when his master was speaking; at least, there is mine, who is as big as +his father, and it cannot be proved that he has ever opened his lips when +I am speaking." + +"By my faith then," said Sancho, "I have spoken, and am fit to speak, in +the presence of one as much, or even--but never mind--it only makes it +worse to stir it." + +The squire of the Grove took Sancho by the arm, saying to him, "Let us +two go where we can talk in squire style as much as we please, and leave +these gentlemen our masters to fight it out over the story of their +loves; and, depend upon it, daybreak will find them at it without having +made an end of it." + +"So be it by all means," said Sancho; "and I will tell your worship who I +am, that you may see whether I am to be reckoned among the number of the +most talkative squires." + +With this the two squires withdrew to one side, and between them there +passed a conversation as droll as that which passed between their masters +was serious. + +Chapter XIII. - +In which is continued the adventure of the Knight of the Grove, together +with the sensible, original, and tranquil colloquy that passed between +the two Squires + +The knights and the squires made two parties, these telling the story of +their lives, the others the story of their loves; but the history relates +first of all the conversation of the servants, and afterwards takes up +that of the masters; and it says that, withdrawing a little from the +others, he of the Grove said to Sancho, "A hard life it is we lead and +live, senor, we that are squires to knights-errant; verily, we eat our +bread in the sweat of our faces, which is one of the curses God laid on +our first parents." + +"It may be said, too," added Sancho, "that we eat it in the chill of our +bodies; for who gets more heat and cold than the miserable squires of +knight-errantry? Even so it would not be so bad if we had something to +eat, for woes are lighter if there's bread; but sometimes we go a day or +two without breaking our fast, except with the wind that blows." + +"All that," said he of the Grove, "may be endured and put up with when we +have hopes of reward; for, unless the knight-errant he serves is +excessively unlucky, after a few turns the squire will at least find +himself rewarded with a fine government of some island or some fair +county." + +"I," said Sancho, "have already told my master that I shall be content +with the government of some island, and he is so noble and generous that +he has promised it to me ever so many times." + +"I," said he of the Grove, "shall be satisfied with a canonry for my +services, and my master has already assigned me one." + +"Your master," said Sancho, "no doubt is a knight in the Church line, and +can bestow rewards of that sort on his good squire; but mine is only a +layman; though I remember some clever, but, to my mind, designing people, +strove to persuade him to try and become an archbishop. He, however, +would not be anything but an emperor; but I was trembling all the time +lest he should take a fancy to go into the Church, not finding myself fit +to hold office in it; for I may tell you, though I seem a man, I am no +better than a beast for the Church." + +"Well, then, you are wrong there," said he of the Grove; "for those +island governments are not all satisfactory; some are awkward, some are +poor, some are dull, and, in short, the highest and choicest brings with +it a heavy burden of cares and troubles which the unhappy wight to whose +lot it has fallen bears upon his shoulders. Far better would it be for us +who have adopted this accursed service to go back to our own houses, and +there employ ourselves in pleasanter occupations--in hunting or fishing, +for instance; for what squire in the world is there so poor as not to +have a hack and a couple of greyhounds and a fishingrod to amuse himself +with in his own village?" + +"I am not in want of any of those things," said Sancho; "to be sure I +have no hack, but I have an ass that is worth my master's horse twice +over; God send me a bad Easter, and that the next one I am to see, if I +would swap, even if I got four bushels of barley to boot. You will laugh +at the value I put on my Dapple--for dapple is the colour of my beast. As +to greyhounds, I can't want for them, for there are enough and to spare +in my town; and, moreover, there is more pleasure in sport when it is at +other people's expense." + +"In truth and earnest, sir squire," said he of the Grove, "I have made up +my mind and determined to have done with these drunken vagaries of these +knights, and go back to my village, and bring up my children; for I have +three, like three Oriental pearls." + +"I have two," said Sancho, "that might be presented before the Pope +himself, especially a girl whom I am breeding up for a countess, please +God, though in spite of her mother." + +"And how old is this lady that is being bred up for a countess?" asked he +of the Grove. + +"Fifteen, a couple of years more or less," answered Sancho; "but she is +as tall as a lance, and as fresh as an April morning, and as strong as a +porter." + +"Those are gifts to fit her to be not only a countess but a nymph of the +greenwood," said he of the Grove; "whoreson strumpet! what pith the rogue +must have!" + +To which Sancho made answer, somewhat sulkily, "She's no strumpet, nor +was her mother, nor will either of them be, please God, while I live; +speak more civilly; for one bred up among knights-errant, who are +courtesy itself, your words don't seem to me to be very becoming." + +"O how little you know about compliments, sir squire," returned he of the +Grove. "What! don't you know that when a horseman delivers a good lance +thrust at the bull in the plaza, or when anyone does anything very well, +the people are wont to say, 'Ha, whoreson rip! how well he has done it!' +and that what seems to be abuse in the expression is high praise? Disown +sons and daughters, senor, who don't do what deserves that compliments of +this sort should be paid to their parents." + +"I do disown them," replied Sancho, "and in this way, and by the same +reasoning, you might call me and my children and my wife all the +strumpets in the world, for all they do and say is of a kind that in the +highest degree deserves the same praise; and to see them again I pray God +to deliver me from mortal sin, or, what comes to the same thing, to +deliver me from this perilous calling of squire into which I have fallen +a second time, decayed and beguiled by a purse with a hundred ducats that +I found one day in the heart of the Sierra Morena; and the devil is +always putting a bag full of doubloons before my eyes, here, there, +everywhere, until I fancy at every stop I am putting my hand on it, and +hugging it, and carrying it home with me, and making investments, and +getting interest, and living like a prince; and so long as I think of +this I make light of all the hardships I endure with this simpleton of a +master of mine, who, I well know, is more of a madman than a knight." + +"There's why they say that 'covetousness bursts the bag,'" said he of the +Grove; "but if you come to talk of that sort, there is not a greater one +in the world than my master, for he is one of those of whom they say, +'the cares of others kill the ass;' for, in order that another knight may +recover the senses he has lost, he makes a madman of himself and goes +looking for what, when found, may, for all I know, fly in his own face." +"And is he in love perchance?" asked Sancho. + +"He is," said of the Grove, "with one Casildea de Vandalia, the rawest +and best roasted lady the whole world could produce; but that rawness is +not the only foot he limps on, for he has greater schemes rumbling in his +bowels, as will be seen before many hours are over." + +"There's no road so smooth but it has some hole or hindrance in it," said +Sancho; "in other houses they cook beans, but in mine it's by the potful; +madness will have more followers and hangers-on than sound sense; but if +there be any truth in the common saying, that to have companions in +trouble gives some relief, I may take consolation from you, inasmuch as +you serve a master as crazy as my own." + +"Crazy but valiant," replied he of the Grove, "and more roguish than +crazy or valiant." + +"Mine is not that," said Sancho; "I mean he has nothing of the rogue in +him; on the contrary, he has the soul of a pitcher; he has no thought of +doing harm to anyone, only good to all, nor has he any malice whatever in +him; a child might persuade him that it is night at noonday; and for this +simplicity I love him as the core of my heart, and I can't bring myself +to leave him, let him do ever such foolish things." + +"For all that, brother and senor," said he of the Grove, "if the blind +lead the blind, both are in danger of falling into the pit. It is better +for us to beat a quiet retreat and get back to our own quarters; for +those who seek adventures don't always find good ones." + +Sancho kept spitting from time to time, and his spittle seemed somewhat +ropy and dry, observing which the compassionate squire of the Grove said, +"It seems to me that with all this talk of ours our tongues are sticking +to the roofs of our mouths; but I have a pretty good loosener hanging +from the saddle-bow of my horse," and getting up he came back the next +minute with a large bota of wine and a pasty half a yard across; and this +is no exaggeration, for it was made of a house rabbit so big that Sancho, +as he handled it, took it to be made of a goat, not to say a kid, and +looking at it he said, "And do you carry this with you, senor?" + +"Why, what are you thinking about?" said the other; "do you take me for +some paltry squire? I carry a better larder on my horse's croup than a +general takes with him when he goes on a march." + +Sancho ate without requiring to be pressed, and in the dark bolted +mouthfuls like the knots on a tether, and said he, "You are a proper +trusty squire, one of the right sort, sumptuous and grand, as this +banquet shows, which, if it has not come here by magic art, at any rate +has the look of it; not like me, unlucky beggar, that have nothing more +in my alforjas than a scrap of cheese, so hard that one might brain a +giant with it, and, to keep it company, a few dozen carobs and as many +more filberts and walnuts; thanks to the austerity of my master, and the +idea he has and the rule he follows, that knights-errant must not live or +sustain themselves on anything except dried fruits and the herbs of the +field." + +"By my faith, brother," said he of the Grove, "my stomach is not made for +thistles, or wild pears, or roots of the woods; let our masters do as +they like, with their chivalry notions and laws, and eat what those +enjoin; I carry my prog-basket and this bota hanging to the saddle-bow, +whatever they may say; and it is such an object of worship with me, and I +love it so, that there is hardly a moment but I am kissing and embracing +it over and over again;" and so saying he thrust it into Sancho's hands, +who raising it aloft pointed to his mouth, gazed at the stars for a +quarter of an hour; and when he had done drinking let his head fall on +one side, and giving a deep sigh, exclaimed, "Ah, whoreson rogue, how +catholic it is!" + +"There, you see," said he of the Grove, hearing Sancho's exclamation, +"how you have called this wine whoreson by way of praise." + +"Well," said Sancho, "I own it, and I grant it is no dishonour to call +anyone whoreson when it is to be understood as praise. But tell me, +senor, by what you love best, is this Ciudad Real wine?" + +"O rare wine-taster!" said he of the Grove; "nowhere else indeed does it +come from, and it has some years' age too." + +"Leave me alone for that," said Sancho; "never fear but I'll hit upon the +place it came from somehow. What would you say, sir squire, to my having +such a great natural instinct in judging wines that you have only to let +me smell one and I can tell positively its country, its kind, its flavour +and soundness, the changes it will undergo, and everything that +appertains to a wine? But it is no wonder, for I have had in my family, +on my father's side, the two best wine-tasters that have been known in La +Mancha for many a long year, and to prove it I'll tell you now a thing +that happened them. They gave the two of them some wine out of a cask, to +try, asking their opinion as to the condition, quality, goodness or +badness of the wine. One of them tried it with the tip of his tongue, the +other did no more than bring it to his nose. The first said the wine had +a flavour of iron, the second said it had a stronger flavour of cordovan. +The owner said the cask was clean, and that nothing had been added to the +wine from which it could have got a flavour of either iron or leather. +Nevertheless, these two great wine-tasters held to what they had said. +Time went by, the wine was sold, and when they came to clean out the +cask, they found in it a small key hanging to a thong of cordovan; see +now if one who comes of the same stock has not a right to give his +opinion in such like cases." + +"Therefore, I say," said he of the Grove, "let us give up going in quest +of adventures, and as we have loaves let us not go looking for cakes, but +return to our cribs, for God will find us there if it be his will." + +"Until my master reaches Saragossa," said Sancho, "I'll remain in his +service; after that we'll see." + +The end of it was that the two squires talked so much and drank so much +that sleep had to tie their tongues and moderate their thirst, for to +quench it was impossible; and so the pair of them fell asleep clinging to +the now nearly empty bota and with half-chewed morsels in their mouths; +and there we will leave them for the present, to relate what passed +between the Knight of the Grove and him of the Rueful Countenance. + +Chapter XIV. - +Wherein is continued the adventure of the Knight of the Grove + +Among the things that passed between Don Quixote and the Knight of the +Wood, the history tells us he of the Grove said to Don Quixote, "In fine, +sir knight, I would have you know that my destiny, or, more properly +speaking, my choice led me to fall in love with the peerless Casildea de +Vandalia. I call her peerless because she has no peer, whether it be in +bodily stature or in the supremacy of rank and beauty. This same +Casildea, then, that I speak of, requited my honourable passion and +gentle aspirations by compelling me, as his stepmother did Hercules, to +engage in many perils of various sorts, at the end of each promising me +that, with the end of the next, the object of my hopes should be +attained; but my labours have gone on increasing link by link until they +are past counting, nor do I know what will be the last one that is to be +the beginning of the accomplishment of my chaste desires. On one occasion +she bade me go and challenge the famous giantess of Seville, La Giralda +by name, who is as mighty and strong as if made of brass, and though +never stirring from one spot, is the most restless and changeable woman +in the world. I came, I saw, I conquered, and I made her stay quiet and +behave herself, for nothing but north winds blew for more than a week. +Another time I was ordered to lift those ancient stones, the mighty bulls +of Guisando, an enterprise that might more fitly be entrusted to porters +than to knights. Again, she bade me fling myself into the cavern of +Cabra--an unparalleled and awful peril--and bring her a minute account of +all that is concealed in those gloomy depths. I stopped the motion of the +Giralda, I lifted the bulls of Guisando, I flung myself into the cavern +and brought to light the secrets of its abyss; and my hopes are as dead +as dead can be, and her scorn and her commands as lively as ever. To be +brief, last of all she has commanded me to go through all the provinces +of Spain and compel all the knights-errant wandering therein to confess +that she surpasses all women alive to-day in beauty, and that I am the +most valiant and the most deeply enamoured knight on earth; in support of +which claim I have already travelled over the greater part of Spain, and +have there vanquished several knights who have dared to contradict me; +but what I most plume and pride myself upon is having vanquished in +single combat that so famous knight Don Quixote of La Mancha, and made +him confess that my Casildea is more beautiful than his Dulcinea; and in +this one victory I hold myself to have conquered all the knights in the +world; for this Don Quixote that I speak of has vanquished them all, and +I having vanquished him, his glory, his fame, and his honour have passed +and are transferred to my person; for + +poem{ + + The more the vanquished hath of fair renown, + The greater glory gilds the victor's crown. + +}poem + +Thus the innumerable achievements of the said Don Quixote are now set +down to my account and have become mine." + +Don Quixote was amazed when he heard the Knight of the Grove, and was a +thousand times on the point of telling him he lied, and had the lie +direct already on the tip of his tongue; but he restrained himself as +well as he could, in order to force him to confess the lie with his own +lips; so he said to him quietly, "As to what you say, sir knight, about +having vanquished most of the knights of Spain, or even of the whole +world, I say nothing; but that you have vanquished Don Quixote of La +Mancha I consider doubtful; it may have been some other that resembled +him, although there are few like him." + +"How! not vanquished?" said he of the Grove; "by the heaven that is above +us I fought Don Quixote and overcame him and made him yield; and he is a +man of tall stature, gaunt features, long, lank limbs, with hair turning +grey, an aquiline nose rather hooked, and large black drooping +moustaches; he does battle under the name of 'The Countenance,' and he +has for squire a peasant called Sancho Panza; he presses the loins and +rules the reins of a famous steed called Rocinante; and lastly, he has +for the mistress of his will a certain Dulcinea del Toboso, once upon a +time called Aldonza Lorenzo, just as I call mine Casildea de Vandalia +because her name is Casilda and she is of Andalusia. If all these tokens +are not enough to vindicate the truth of what I say, here is my sword, +that will compel incredulity itself to give credence to it." + +"Calm yourself, sir knight," said Don Quixote, "and give ear to what I am +about to say to you. I would have you know that this Don Quixote you +speak of is the greatest friend I have in the world; so much so that I +may say I regard him in the same light as my own person; and from the +precise and clear indications you have given I cannot but think that he +must be the very one you have vanquished. On the other hand, I see with +my eyes and feel with my hands that it is impossible it can have been the +same; unless indeed it be that, as he has many enemies who are +enchanters, and one in particular who is always persecuting him, some one +of these may have taken his shape in order to allow himself to be +vanquished, so as to defraud him of the fame that his exalted +achievements as a knight have earned and acquired for him throughout the +known world. And in confirmation of this, I must tell you, too, that it +is but ten hours since these said enchanters his enemies transformed the +shape and person of the fair Dulcinea del Toboso into a foul and mean +village lass, and in the same way they must have transformed Don Quixote; +and if all this does not suffice to convince you of the truth of what I +say, here is Don Quixote himself, who will maintain it by arms, on foot +or on horseback or in any way you please." + +And so saying he stood up and laid his hand on his sword, waiting to see +what the Knight of the Grove would do, who in an equally calm voice said +in reply, "Pledges don't distress a good payer; he who has succeeded in +vanquishing you once when transformed, Sir Don Quixote, may fairly hope +to subdue you in your own proper shape; but as it is not becoming for +knights to perform their feats of arms in the dark, like highwaymen and +bullies, let us wait till daylight, that the sun may behold our deeds; +and the conditions of our combat shall be that the vanquished shall be at +the victor's disposal, to do all that he may enjoin, provided the +injunction be such as shall be becoming a knight." + +"I am more than satisfied with these conditions and terms," replied Don +Quixote; and so saying, they betook themselves to where their squires +lay, and found them snoring, and in the same posture they were in when +sleep fell upon them. They roused them up, and bade them get the horses +ready, as at sunrise they were to engage in a bloody and arduous single +combat; at which intelligence Sancho was aghast and thunderstruck, +trembling for the safety of his master because of the mighty deeds he had +heard the squire of the Grove ascribe to his; but without a word the two +squires went in quest of their cattle; for by this time the three horses +and the ass had smelt one another out, and were all together. + +On the way, he of the Grove said to Sancho, "You must know, brother, that +it is the custom with the fighting men of Andalusia, when they are +godfathers in any quarrel, not to stand idle with folded arms while their +godsons fight; I say so to remind you that while our masters are +fighting, we, too, have to fight, and knock one another to shivers." + +"That custom, sir squire," replied Sancho, "may hold good among those +bullies and fighting men you talk of, but certainly not among the squires +of knights-errant; at least, I have never heard my master speak of any +custom of the sort, and he knows all the laws of knight-errantry by +heart; but granting it true that there is an express law that squires are +to fight while their masters are fighting, I don't mean to obey it, but +to pay the penalty that may be laid on peacefully minded squires like +myself; for I am sure it cannot be more than two pounds of wax, and I +would rather pay that, for I know it will cost me less than the lint I +shall be at the expense of to mend my head, which I look upon as broken +and split already; there's another thing that makes it impossible for me +to fight, that I have no sword, for I never carried one in my life." + +"I know a good remedy for that," said he of the Grove; "I have here two +linen bags of the same size; you shall take one, and I the other, and we +will fight at bag blows with equal arms." + +"If that's the way, so be it with all my heart," said Sancho, "for that +sort of battle will serve to knock the dust out of us instead of hurting +us." + +"That will not do," said the other, "for we must put into the bags, to +keep the wind from blowing them away, half a dozen nice smooth pebbles, +all of the same weight; and in this way we shall be able to baste one +another without doing ourselves any harm or mischief." + +"Body of my father!" said Sancho, "see what marten and sable, and pads of +carded cotton he is putting into the bags, that our heads may not be +broken and our bones beaten to jelly! But even if they are filled with +toss silk, I can tell you, senor, I am not going to fight; let our +masters fight, that's their lookout, and let us drink and live; for time +will take care to ease us of our lives, without our going to look for +fillips so that they may be finished off before their proper time comes +and they drop from ripeness." + +"Still," returned he of the Grove, "we must fight, if it be only for half +an hour." + +"By no means," said Sancho; "I am not going to be so discourteous or so +ungrateful as to have any quarrel, be it ever so small, with one I have +eaten and drunk with; besides, who the devil could bring himself to fight +in cold blood, without anger or provocation?" + +"I can remedy that entirely," said he of the Grove, "and in this way: +before we begin the battle, I will come up to your worship fair and +softly, and give you three or four buffets, with which I shall stretch +you at my feet and rouse your anger, though it were sleeping sounder than +a dormouse." + +"To match that plan," said Sancho, "I have another that is not a whit +behind it; I will take a cudgel, and before your worship comes near +enough to waken my anger I will send yours so sound to sleep with whacks, +that it won't waken unless it be in the other world, where it is known +that I am not a man to let my face be handled by anyone; let each look +out for the arrow--though the surer way would be to let everyone's anger +sleep, for nobody knows the heart of anyone, and a man may come for wool +and go back shorn; God gave his blessing to peace and his curse to +quarrels; if a hunted cat, surrounded and hard pressed, turns into a +lion, God knows what I, who am a man, may turn into; and so from this +time forth I warn you, sir squire, that all the harm and mischief that +may come of our quarrel will be put down to your account." + +"Very good," said he of the Grove; "God will send the dawn and we shall +be all right." + +And now gay-plumaged birds of all sorts began to warble in the trees, and +with their varied and gladsome notes seemed to welcome and salute the +fresh morn that was beginning to show the beauty of her countenance at +the gates and balconies of the east, shaking from her locks a profusion +of liquid pearls; in which dulcet moisture bathed, the plants, too, +seemed to shed and shower down a pearly spray, the willows distilled +sweet manna, the fountains laughed, the brooks babbled, the woods +rejoiced, and the meadows arrayed themselves in all their glory at her +coming. But hardly had the light of day made it possible to see and +distinguish things, when the first object that presented itself to the +eyes of Sancho Panza was the squire of the Grove's nose, which was so big +that it almost overshadowed his whole body. It is, in fact, stated, that +it was of enormous size, hooked in the middle, covered with warts, and of +a mulberry colour like an egg-plant; it hung down two fingers' length +below his mouth, and the size, the colour, the warts, and the bend of it, +made his face so hideous, that Sancho, as he looked at him, began to +tremble hand and foot like a child in convulsions, and he vowed in his +heart to let himself be given two hundred buffets, sooner than be +provoked to fight that monster. Don Quixote examined his adversary, and +found that he already had his helmet on and visor lowered, so that he +could not see his face; he observed, however, that he was a sturdily +built man, but not very tall in stature. Over his armour he wore a +surcoat or cassock of what seemed to be the finest cloth of gold, all +bespangled with glittering mirrors like little moons, which gave him an +extremely gallant and splendid appearance; above his helmet fluttered a +great quantity of plumes, green, yellow, and white, and his lance, which +was leaning against a tree, was very long and stout, and had a steel +point more than a palm in length. + +Don Quixote observed all, and took note of all, and from what he saw and +observed he concluded that the said knight must be a man of great +strength, but he did not for all that give way to fear, like Sancho +Panza; on the contrary, with a composed and dauntless air, he said to the +Knight of the Mirrors, "If, sir knight, your great eagerness to fight has +not banished your courtesy, by it I would entreat you to raise your visor +a little, in order that I may see if the comeliness of your countenance +corresponds with that of your equipment." + +"Whether you come victorious or vanquished out of this emprise, sir +knight," replied he of the Mirrors, "you will have more than enough time +and leisure to see me; and if now I do not comply with your request, it +is because it seems to me I should do a serious wrong to the fair +Casildea de Vandalia in wasting time while I stopped to raise my visor +before compelling you to confess what you are already aware I maintain." + +"Well then," said Don Quixote, "while we are mounting you can at least +tell me if I am that Don Quixote whom you said you vanquished." + +"To that we answer you," said he of the Mirrors, "that you are as like +the very knight I vanquished as one egg is like another, but as you say +enchanters persecute you, I will not venture to say positively whether +you are the said person or not." + +"That," said Don Quixote, "is enough to convince me that you are under a +deception; however, entirely to relieve you of it, let our horses be +brought, and in less time than it would take you to raise your visor, if +God, my lady, and my arm stand me in good stead, I shall see your face, +and you shall see that I am not the vanquished Don Quixote you take me to +be." + +With this, cutting short the colloquy, they mounted, and Don Quixote +wheeled Rocinante round in order to take a proper distance to charge back +upon his adversary, and he of the Mirrors did the same; but Don Quixote +had not moved away twenty paces when he heard himself called by the +other, and, each returning half-way, he of the Mirrors said to him, +"Remember, sir knight, that the terms of our combat are, that the +vanquished, as I said before, shall be at the victor's disposal." + +"I am aware of it already," said Don Quixote; "provided what is commanded +and imposed upon the vanquished be things that do not transgress the +limits of chivalry." + +"That is understood," replied he of the Mirrors. + +At this moment the extraordinary nose of the squire presented itself to +Don Quixote's view, and he was no less amazed than Sancho at the sight; +insomuch that he set him down as a monster of some kind, or a human being +of some new species or unearthly breed. Sancho, seeing his master +retiring to run his course, did not like to be left alone with the nosy +man, fearing that with one flap of that nose on his own the battle would +be all over for him and he would be left stretched on the ground, either +by the blow or with fright; so he ran after his master, holding on to +Rocinante's stirrup-leather, and when it seemed to him time to turn +about, he said, "I implore of your worship, senor, before you turn to +charge, to help me up into this cork tree, from which I will be able to +witness the gallant encounter your worship is going to have with this +knight, more to my taste and better than from the ground." + +"It seems to me rather, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "that thou wouldst +mount a scaffold in order to see the bulls without danger." + +"To tell the truth," returned Sancho, "the monstrous nose of that squire +has filled me with fear and terror, and I dare not stay near him." + +"It is," said Don Quixote, "such a one that were I not what I am it would +terrify me too; so, come, I will help thee up where thou wilt." + +While Don Quixote waited for Sancho to mount into the cork tree he of the +Mirrors took as much ground as he considered requisite, and, supposing +Don Quixote to have done the same, without waiting for any sound of +trumpet or other signal to direct them, he wheeled his horse, which was +not more agile or better-looking than Rocinante, and at his top speed, +which was an easy trot, he proceeded to charge his enemy; seeing him, +however, engaged in putting Sancho up, he drew rein, and halted in mid +career, for which his horse was very grateful, as he was already unable +to go. Don Quixote, fancying that his foe was coming down upon him +flying, drove his spurs vigorously into Rocinante's lean flanks and made +him scud along in such style that the history tells us that on this +occasion only was he known to make something like running, for on all +others it was a simple trot with him; and with this unparalleled fury he +bore down where he of the Mirrors stood digging his spurs into his horse +up to buttons, without being able to make him stir a finger's length from +the spot where he had come to a standstill in his course. At this lucky +moment and crisis, Don Quixote came upon his adversary, in trouble with +his horse, and embarrassed with his lance, which he either could not +manage, or had no time to lay in rest. Don Quixote, however, paid no +attention to these difficulties, and in perfect safety to himself and +without any risk encountered him of the Mirrors with such force that he +brought him to the ground in spite of himself over the haunches of his +horse, and with so heavy a fall that he lay to all appearance dead, not +stirring hand or foot. The instant Sancho saw him fall he slid down from +the cork tree, and made all haste to where his master was, who, +dismounting from Rocinante, went and stood over him of the Mirrors, and +unlacing his helmet to see if he was dead, and to give him air if he +should happen to be alive, he saw--who can say what he saw, without +filling all who hear it with astonishment, wonder, and awe? He saw, the +history says, the very countenance, the very face, the very look, the +very physiognomy, the very effigy, the very image of the bachelor Samson +Carrasco! As soon as he saw it he called out in a loud voice, "Make haste +here, Sancho, and behold what thou art to see but not to believe; quick, +my son, and learn what magic can do, and wizards and enchanters are +capable of." + +Sancho came up, and when he saw the countenance of the bachelor Carrasco, +he fell to crossing himself a thousand times, and blessing himself as +many more. All this time the prostrate knight showed no signs of life, +and Sancho said to Don Quixote, "It is my opinion, senor, that in any +case your worship should take and thrust your sword into the mouth of +this one here that looks like the bachelor Samson Carrasco; perhaps in +him you will kill one of your enemies, the enchanters." + +"Thy advice is not bad," said Don Quixote, "for of enemies the fewer the +better;" and he was drawing his sword to carry into effect Sancho's +counsel and suggestion, when the squire of the Mirrors came up, now +without the nose which had made him so hideous, and cried out in a loud +voice, "Mind what you are about, Senor Don Quixote; that is your friend, +the bachelor Samson Carrasco, you have at your feet, and I am his +squire." + +"And the nose?" said Sancho, seeing him without the hideous feature he +had before; to which he replied, "I have it here in my pocket," and +putting his hand into his right pocket, he pulled out a masquerade nose +of varnished pasteboard of the make already described; and Sancho, +examining him more and more closely, exclaimed aloud in a voice of +amazement, "Holy Mary be good to me! Isn't it Tom Cecial, my neighbour +and gossip?" + +"Why, to be sure I am!" returned the now unnosed squire; "Tom Cecial I +am, gossip and friend Sancho Panza; and I'll tell you presently the means +and tricks and falsehoods by which I have been brought here; but in the +meantime, beg and entreat of your master not to touch, maltreat, wound, +or slay the Knight of the Mirrors whom he has at his feet; because, +beyond all dispute, it is the rash and ill-advised bachelor Samson +Carrasco, our fellow townsman." + +At this moment he of the Mirrors came to himself, and Don Quixote +perceiving it, held the naked point of his sword over his face, and said +to him, "You are a dead man, knight, unless you confess that the peerless +Dulcinea del Toboso excels your Casildea de Vandalia in beauty; and in +addition to this you must promise, if you should survive this encounter +and fall, to go to the city of El Toboso and present yourself before her +on my behalf, that she deal with you according to her good pleasure; and +if she leaves you free to do yours, you are in like manner to return and +seek me out (for the trail of my mighty deeds will serve you as a guide +to lead you to where I may be), and tell me what may have passed between +you and her-conditions which, in accordance with what we stipulated +before our combat, do not transgress the just limits of knight-errantry." + +"I confess," said the fallen knight, "that the dirty tattered shoe of the +lady Dulcinea del Toboso is better than the ill-combed though clean beard +of Casildea; and I promise to go and to return from her presence to +yours, and to give you a full and particular account of all you demand of +me." + +"You must also confess and believe," added Don Quixote, "that the knight +you vanquished was not and could not be Don Quixote of La Mancha, but +some one else in his likeness, just as I confess and believe that you, +though you seem to be the bachelor Samson Carrasco, are not so, but some +other resembling him, whom my enemies have here put before me in his +shape, in order that I may restrain and moderate the vehemence of my +wrath, and make a gentle use of the glory of my victory." + +"I confess, hold, and think everything to be as you believe, hold, and +think it," the crippled knight; "let me rise, I entreat you; if, indeed, +the shock of my fall will allow me, for it has left me in a sorry plight +enough." + +Don Quixote helped him to rise, with the assistance of his squire Tom +Cecial; from whom Sancho never took his eyes, and to whom he put +questions, the replies to which furnished clear proof that he was really +and truly the Tom Cecial he said; but the impression made on Sancho's +mind by what his master said about the enchanters having changed the face +of the Knight of the Mirrors into that of the bachelor Samson Carrasco, +would not permit him to believe what he saw with his eyes. In fine, both +master and man remained under the delusion; and, down in the mouth, and +out of luck, he of the Mirrors and his squire parted from Don Quixote and +Sancho, he meaning to go look for some village where he could plaster and +strap his ribs. Don Quixote and Sancho resumed their journey to +Saragossa, and on it the history leaves them in order that it may tell +who the Knight of the Mirrors and his long-nosed squire were. + +Chapter XV. - +Wherein it is told and known who the Knight of the Mirrors and his Squire +were + +Don Quixote went off satisfied, elated, and vain-glorious in the highest +degree at having won a victory over such a valiant knight as he fancied +him of the Mirrors to be, and one from whose knightly word he expected to +learn whether the enchantment of his lady still continued; inasmuch as +the said vanquished knight was bound, under the penalty of ceasing to be +one, to return and render him an account of what took place between him +and her. But Don Quixote was of one mind, he of the Mirrors of another, +for he just then had no thought of anything but finding some village +where he could plaster himself, as has been said already. The history +goes on to say, then, that when the bachelor Samson Carrasco recommended +Don Quixote to resume his knight-errantry which he had laid aside, it was +in consequence of having been previously in conclave with the curate and +the barber on the means to be adopted to induce Don Quixote to stay at +home in peace and quiet without worrying himself with his ill-starred +adventures; at which consultation it was decided by the unanimous vote of +all, and on the special advice of Carrasco, that Don Quixote should be +allowed to go, as it seemed impossible to restrain him, and that Samson +should sally forth to meet him as a knight-errant, and do battle with +him, for there would be no difficulty about a cause, and vanquish him, +that being looked upon as an easy matter; and that it should be agreed +and settled that the vanquished was to be at the mercy of the victor. +Then, Don Quixote being vanquished, the bachelor knight was to command +him to return to his village and his house, and not quit it for two +years, or until he received further orders from him; all which it was +clear Don Quixote would unhesitatingly obey, rather than contravene or +fail to observe the laws of chivalry; and during the period of his +seclusion he might perhaps forget his folly, or there might be an +opportunity of discovering some ready remedy for his madness. Carrasco +undertook the task, and Tom Cecial, a gossip and neighbour of Sancho +Panza's, a lively, feather-headed fellow, offered himself as his squire. +Carrasco armed himself in the fashion described, and Tom Cecial, that he +might not be known by his gossip when they met, fitted on over his own +natural nose the false masquerade one that has been mentioned; and so +they followed the same route Don Quixote took, and almost came up with +him in time to be present at the adventure of the cart of Death and +finally encountered them in the grove, where all that the sagacious +reader has been reading about took place; and had it not been for the +extraordinary fancies of Don Quixote, and his conviction that the +bachelor was not the bachelor, senor bachelor would have been +incapacitated for ever from taking his degree of licentiate, all through +not finding nests where he thought to find birds. + +Tom Cecial, seeing how ill they had succeeded, and what a sorry end their +expedition had come to, said to the bachelor, "Sure enough, Senor Samson +Carrasco, we are served right; it is easy enough to plan and set about an +enterprise, but it is often a difficult matter to come well out of it. +Don Quixote a madman, and we sane; he goes off laughing, safe, and sound, +and you are left sore and sorry! I'd like to know now which is the +madder, he who is so because he cannot help it, or he who is so of his +own choice?" + +To which Samson replied, "The difference between the two sorts of madmen +is, that he who is so will he nil he, will be one always, while he who is +so of his own accord can leave off being one whenever he likes." + +"In that case," said Tom Cecial, "I was a madman of my own accord when I +volunteered to become your squire, and, of my own accord, I'll leave off +being one and go home." + +"That's your affair," returned Samson, "but to suppose that I am going +home until I have given Don Quixote a thrashing is absurd; and it is not +any wish that he may recover his senses that will make me hunt him out +now, but a wish for the sore pain I am in with my ribs won't let me +entertain more charitable thoughts." + +Thus discoursing, the pair proceeded until they reached a town where it +was their good luck to find a bone-setter, with whose help the +unfortunate Samson was cured. Tom Cecial left him and went home, while he +stayed behind meditating vengeance; and the history will return to him +again at the proper time, so as not to omit making merry with Don Quixote +now. + +Chapter XVI. - +Of what befell Don Quixote with a discreet gentleman of La Mancha + +Don Quixote pursued his journey in the high spirits, satisfaction, and +self-complacency already described, fancying himself the most valorous +knight-errant of the age in the world because of his late victory. All +the adventures that could befall him from that time forth he regarded as +already done and brought to a happy issue; he made light of enchantments +and enchanters; he thought no more of the countless drubbings that had +been administered to him in the course of his knight-errantry, nor of the +volley of stones that had levelled half his teeth, nor of the ingratitude +of the galley slaves, nor of the audacity of the Yanguesans and the +shower of stakes that fell upon him; in short, he said to himself that +could he discover any means, mode, or way of disenchanting his lady +Dulcinea, he would not envy the highest fortune that the most fortunate +knight-errant of yore ever reached or could reach. + +He was going along entirely absorbed in these fancies, when Sancho said +to him, "Isn't it odd, senor, that I have still before my eyes that +monstrous enormous nose of my gossip, Tom Cecial?" + +"And dost thou, then, believe, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "that the +Knight of the Mirrors was the bachelor Carrasco, and his squire Tom +Cecial thy gossip?" + +"I don't know what to say to that," replied Sancho; "all I know is that +the tokens he gave me about my own house, wife and children, nobody else +but himself could have given me; and the face, once the nose was off, was +the very face of Tom Cecial, as I have seen it many a time in my town and +next door to my own house; and the sound of the voice was just the same." + +"Let us reason the matter, Sancho," said Don Quixote. "Come now, by what +process of thinking can it be supposed that the bachelor Samson Carrasco +would come as a knight-errant, in arms offensive and defensive, to fight +with me? Have I ever been by any chance his enemy? Have I ever given him +any occasion to owe me a grudge? Am I his rival, or does he profess arms, +that he should envy the fame I have acquired in them?" + +"Well, but what are we to say, senor," returned Sancho, "about that +knight, whoever he is, being so like the bachelor Carrasco, and his +squire so like my gossip, Tom Cecial? And if that be enchantment, as your +worship says, was there no other pair in the world for them to take the +likeness of?" + +"It is all," said Don Quixote, "a scheme and plot of the malignant +magicians that persecute me, who, foreseeing that I was to be victorious +in the conflict, arranged that the vanquished knight should display the +countenance of my friend the bachelor, in order that the friendship I +bear him should interpose to stay the edge of my sword and might of my +arm, and temper the just wrath of my heart; so that he who sought to take +my life by fraud and falsehood should save his own. And to prove it, thou +knowest already, Sancho, by experience which cannot lie or deceive, how +easy it is for enchanters to change one countenance into another, turning +fair into foul, and foul into fair; for it is not two days since thou +sawest with thine own eyes the beauty and elegance of the peerless +Dulcinea in all its perfection and natural harmony, while I saw her in +the repulsive and mean form of a coarse country wench, with cataracts in +her eyes and a foul smell in her mouth; and when the perverse enchanter +ventured to effect so wicked a transformation, it is no wonder if he +effected that of Samson Carrasco and thy gossip in order to snatch the +glory of victory out of my grasp. For all that, however, I console +myself, because, after all, in whatever shape he may have been, I have +victorious over my enemy." + +"God knows what's the truth of it all," said Sancho; and knowing as he +did that the transformation of Dulcinea had been a device and imposition +of his own, his master's illusions were not satisfactory to him; but he +did not like to reply lest he should say something that might disclose +his trickery. + +As they were engaged in this conversation they were overtaken by a man +who was following the same road behind them, mounted on a very handsome +flea-bitten mare, and dressed in a gaban of fine green cloth, with tawny +velvet facings, and a montera of the same velvet. The trappings of the +mare were of the field and jineta fashion, and of mulberry colour and +green. He carried a Moorish cutlass hanging from a broad green and gold +baldric; the buskins were of the same make as the baldric; the spurs were +not gilt, but lacquered green, and so brightly polished that, matching as +they did the rest of his apparel, they looked better than if they had +been of pure gold. + +When the traveller came up with them he saluted them courteously, and +spurring his mare was passing them without stopping, but Don Quixote +called out to him, "Gallant sir, if so be your worship is going our road, +and has no occasion for speed, it would be a pleasure to me if we were to +join company." + +"In truth," replied he on the mare, "I would not pass you so hastily but +for fear that horse might turn restive in the company of my mare." + +"You may safely hold in your mare, senor," said Sancho in reply to this, +"for our horse is the most virtuous and well-behaved horse in the world; +he never does anything wrong on such occasions, and the only time he +misbehaved, my master and I suffered for it sevenfold; I say again your +worship may pull up if you like; for if she was offered to him between +two plates the horse would not hanker after her." + +The traveller drew rein, amazed at the trim and features of Don Quixote, +who rode without his helmet, which Sancho carried like a valise in front +of Dapple's pack-saddle; and if the man in green examined Don Quixote +closely, still more closely did Don Quixote examine the man in green, who +struck him as being a man of intelligence. In appearance he was about +fifty years of age, with but few grey hairs, an aquiline cast of +features, and an expression between grave and gay; and his dress and +accoutrements showed him to be a man of good condition. What he in green +thought of Don Quixote of La Mancha was that a man of that sort and shape +he had never yet seen; he marvelled at the length of his hair, his lofty +stature, the lankness and sallowness of his countenance, his armour, his +bearing and his gravity--a figure and picture such as had not been seen +in those regions for many a long day. + +Don Quixote saw very plainly the attention with which the traveller was +regarding him, and read his curiosity in his astonishment; and courteous +as he was and ready to please everybody, before the other could ask him +any question he anticipated him by saying, "The appearance I present to +your worship being so strange and so out of the common, I should not be +surprised if it filled you with wonder; but you will cease to wonder when +I tell you, as I do, that I am one of those knights who, as people say, +go seeking adventures. I have left my home, I have mortgaged my estate, I +have given up my comforts, and committed myself to the arms of Fortune, +to bear me whithersoever she may please. My desire was to bring to life +again knight-errantry, now dead, and for some time past, stumbling here, +falling there, now coming down headlong, now raising myself up again, I +have carried out a great portion of my design, succouring widows, +protecting maidens, and giving aid to wives, orphans, and minors, the +proper and natural duty of knights-errant; and, therefore, because of my +many valiant and Christian achievements, I have been already found worthy +to make my way in print to well-nigh all, or most, of the nations of the +earth. Thirty thousand volumes of my history have been printed, and it is +on the high-road to be printed thirty thousand thousands of times, if +heaven does not put a stop to it. In short, to sum up all in a few words, +or in a single one, I may tell you I am Don Quixote of La Mancha, +otherwise called 'The Knight of the Rueful Countenance;' for though +self-praise is degrading, I must perforce sound my own sometimes, that is +to say, when there is no one at hand to do it for me. So that, gentle +sir, neither this horse, nor this lance, nor this shield, nor this +squire, nor all these arms put together, nor the sallowness of my +countenance, nor my gaunt leanness, will henceforth astonish you, now +that you know who I am and what profession I follow." + +With these words Don Quixote held his peace, and, from the time he took +to answer, the man in green seemed to be at a loss for a reply; after a +long pause, however, he said to him, "You were right when you saw +curiosity in my amazement, sir knight; but you have not succeeded in +removing the astonishment I feel at seeing you; for although you say, +senor, that knowing who you are ought to remove it, it has not done so; +on the contrary, now that I know, I am left more amazed and astonished +than before. What! is it possible that there are knights-errant in the +world in these days, and histories of real chivalry printed? I cannot +realise the fact that there can be anyone on earth now-a-days who aids +widows, or protects maidens, or defends wives, or succours orphans; nor +should I believe it had I not seen it in your worship with my own eyes. +Blessed be heaven! for by means of this history of your noble and genuine +chivalrous deeds, which you say has been printed, the countless stories +of fictitious knights-errant with which the world is filled, so much to +the injury of morality and the prejudice and discredit of good histories, +will have been driven into oblivion." + +"There is a good deal to be said on that point," said Don Quixote, "as to +whether the histories of the knights-errant are fiction or not." + +"Why, is there anyone who doubts that those histories are false?" said +the man in green. + +"I doubt it," said Don Quixote, "but never mind that just now; if our +journey lasts long enough, I trust in God I shall show your worship that +you do wrong in going with the stream of those who regard it as a matter +of certainty that they are not true." + +From this last observation of Don Quixote's, the traveller began to have +a suspicion that he was some crazy being, and was waiting him to confirm +it by something further; but before they could turn to any new subject +Don Quixote begged him to tell him who he was, since he himself had +rendered account of his station and life. To this, he in the green gaban +replied "I, Sir Knight of the Rueful Countenance, am a gentleman by +birth, native of the village where, please God, we are going to dine +today; I am more than fairly well off, and my name is Don Diego de +Miranda. I pass my life with my wife, children, and friends; my pursuits +are hunting and fishing, but I keep neither hawks nor greyhounds, nothing +but a tame partridge or a bold ferret or two; I have six dozen or so of +books, some in our mother tongue, some Latin, some of them history, +others devotional; those of chivalry have not as yet crossed the +threshold of my door; I am more given to turning over the profane than +the devotional, so long as they are books of honest entertainment that +charm by their style and attract and interest by the invention they +display, though of these there are very few in Spain. Sometimes I dine +with my neighbours and friends, and often invite them; my entertainments +are neat and well served without stint of anything. I have no taste for +tattle, nor do I allow tattling in my presence; I pry not into my +neighbours' lives, nor have I lynx-eyes for what others do. I hear mass +every day; I share my substance with the poor, making no display of good +works, lest I let hypocrisy and vainglory, those enemies that subtly take +possession of the most watchful heart, find an entrance into mine. I +strive to make peace between those whom I know to be at variance; I am +the devoted servant of Our Lady, and my trust is ever in the infinite +mercy of God our Lord." + +Sancho listened with the greatest attention to the account of the +gentleman's life and occupation; and thinking it a good and a holy life, +and that he who led it ought to work miracles, he threw himself off +Dapple, and running in haste seized his right stirrup and kissed his foot +again and again with a devout heart and almost with tears. + +Seeing this the gentleman asked him, "What are you about, brother? What +are these kisses for?" + +"Let me kiss," said Sancho, "for I think your worship is the first saint +in the saddle I ever saw all the days of my life." + +"I am no saint," replied the gentleman, "but a great sinner; but you are, +brother, for you must be a good fellow, as your simplicity shows." + +Sancho went back and regained his pack-saddle, having extracted a laugh +from his master's profound melancholy, and excited fresh amazement in Don +Diego. Don Quixote then asked him how many children he had, and observed +that one of the things wherein the ancient philosophers, who were without +the true knowledge of God, placed the summum bonum was in the gifts of +nature, in those of fortune, in having many friends, and many and good +children. + +"I, Senor Don Quixote," answered the gentleman, "have one son, without +whom, perhaps, I should count myself happier than I am, not because he is +a bad son, but because he is not so good as I could wish. He is eighteen +years of age; he has been for six at Salamanca studying Latin and Greek, +and when I wished him to turn to the study of other sciences I found him +so wrapped up in that of poetry (if that can be called a science) that +there is no getting him to take kindly to the law, which I wished him to +study, or to theology, the queen of them all. I would like him to be an +honour to his family, as we live in days when our kings liberally reward +learning that is virtuous and worthy; for learning without virtue is a +pearl on a dunghill. He spends the whole day in settling whether Homer +expressed himself correctly or not in such and such a line of the Iliad, +whether Martial was indecent or not in such and such an epigram, whether +such and such lines of Virgil are to be understood in this way or in +that; in short, all his talk is of the works of these poets, and those of +Horace, Perseus, Juvenal, and Tibullus; for of the moderns in our own +language he makes no great account; but with all his seeming indifference +to Spanish poetry, just now his thoughts are absorbed in making a gloss +on four lines that have been sent him from Salamanca, which I suspect are +for some poetical tournament." + +To all this Don Quixote said in reply, "Children, senor, are portions of +their parents' bowels, and therefore, be they good or bad, are to be +loved as we love the souls that give us life; it is for the parents to +guide them from infancy in the ways of virtue, propriety, and worthy +Christian conduct, so that when grown up they may be the staff of their +parents' old age, and the glory of their posterity; and to force them to +study this or that science I do not think wise, though it may be no harm +to persuade them; and when there is no need to study for the sake of pane +lucrando, and it is the student's good fortune that heaven has given him +parents who provide him with it, it would be my advice to them to let him +pursue whatever science they may see him most inclined to; and though +that of poetry is less useful than pleasurable, it is not one of those +that bring discredit upon the possessor. Poetry, gentle sir, is, as I +take it, like a tender young maiden of supreme beauty, to array, bedeck, +and adorn whom is the task of several other maidens, who are all the rest +of the sciences; and she must avail herself of the help of all, and all +derive their lustre from her. But this maiden will not bear to be +handled, nor dragged through the streets, nor exposed either at the +corners of the market-places, or in the closets of palaces. She is the +product of an Alchemy of such virtue that he who is able to practise it, +will turn her into pure gold of inestimable worth. He that possesses her +must keep her within bounds, not permitting her to break out in ribald +satires or soulless sonnets. She must on no account be offered for sale, +unless, indeed, it be in heroic poems, moving tragedies, or sprightly and +ingenious comedies. She must not be touched by the buffoons, nor by the +ignorant vulgar, incapable of comprehending or appreciating her hidden +treasures. And do not suppose, senor, that I apply the term vulgar here +merely to plebeians and the lower orders; for everyone who is ignorant, +be he lord or prince, may and should be included among the vulgar. He, +then, who shall embrace and cultivate poetry under the conditions I have +named, shall become famous, and his name honoured throughout all the +civilised nations of the earth. And with regard to what you say, senor, +of your son having no great opinion of Spanish poetry, I am inclined to +think that he is not quite right there, and for this reason: the great +poet Homer did not write in Latin, because he was a Greek, nor did Virgil +write in Greek, because he was a Latin; in short, all the ancient poets +wrote in the language they imbibed with their mother's milk, and never +went in quest of foreign ones to express their sublime conceptions; and +that being so, the usage should in justice extend to all nations, and the +German poet should not be undervalued because he writes in his own +language, nor the Castilian, nor even the Biscayan, for writing in his. +But your son, senor, I suspect, is not prejudiced against Spanish poetry, +but against those poets who are mere Spanish verse writers, without any +knowledge of other languages or sciences to adorn and give life and +vigour to their natural inspiration; and yet even in this he may be +wrong; for, according to a true belief, a poet is born one; that is to +say, the poet by nature comes forth a poet from his mother's womb; and +following the bent that heaven has bestowed upon him, without the aid of +study or art, he produces things that show how truly he spoke who said, +'Est Deus in nobis,' etc. At the same time, I say that the poet by nature +who calls in art to his aid will be a far better poet, and will surpass +him who tries to be one relying upon his knowledge of art alone. The +reason is, that art does not surpass nature, but only brings it to +perfection; and thus, nature combined with art, and art with nature, will +produce a perfect poet. To bring my argument to a close, I would say +then, gentle sir, let your son go on as his star leads him, for being so +studious as he seems to be, and having already successfully surmounted +the first step of the sciences, which is that of the languages, with +their help he will by his own exertions reach the summit of polite +literature, which so well becomes an independent gentleman, and adorns, +honours, and distinguishes him, as much as the mitre does the bishop, or +the gown the learned counsellor. If your son write satires reflecting on +the honour of others, chide and correct him, and tear them up; but if he +compose discourses in which he rebukes vice in general, in the style of +Horace, and with elegance like his, commend him; for it is legitimate for +a poet to write against envy and lash the envious in his verse, and the +other vices too, provided he does not single out individuals; there are, +however, poets who, for the sake of saying something spiteful, would run +the risk of being banished to the coast of Pontus. If the poet be pure in +his morals, he will be pure in his verses too; the pen is the tongue of +the mind, and as the thought engendered there, so will be the things that +it writes down. And when kings and princes observe this marvellous +science of poetry in wise, virtuous, and thoughtful subjects, they +honour, value, exalt them, and even crown them with the leaves of that +tree which the thunderbolt strikes not, as if to show that they whose +brows are honoured and adorned with such a crown are not to be assailed +by anyone." + +He of the green gaban was filled with astonishment at Don Quixote's +argument, so much so that he began to abandon the notion he had taken up +about his being crazy. But in the middle of the discourse, it being not +very much to his taste, Sancho had turned aside out of the road to beg a +little milk from some shepherds, who were milking their ewes hard by; and +just as the gentleman, highly pleased, was about to renew the +conversation, Don Quixote, raising his head, perceived a cart covered +with royal flags coming along the road they were travelling; and +persuaded that this must be some new adventure, he called aloud to Sancho +to come and bring him his helmet. Sancho, hearing himself called, quitted +the shepherds, and, prodding Dapple vigorously, came up to his master, to +whom there fell a terrific and desperate adventure. + +Chapter XVII. - +Wherein is shown the furthest and highest point which the unexampled +courage of Don Quixote reached or could reach; together with the happily +achieved adventure of the lions + +The history tells that when Don Quixote called out to Sancho to bring him +his helmet, Sancho was buying some curds the shepherds agreed to sell +him, and flurried by the great haste his master was in did not know what +to do with them or what to carry them in; so, not to lose them, for he +had already paid for them, he thought it best to throw them into his +master's helmet, and acting on this bright idea he went to see what his +master wanted with him. He, as he approached, exclaimed to him: + +"Give me that helmet, my friend, for either I know little of adventures, +or what I observe yonder is one that will, and does, call upon me to arm +myself." + +He of the green gaban, on hearing this, looked in all directions, but +could perceive nothing, except a cart coming towards them with two or +three small flags, which led him to conclude it must be carrying treasure +of the King's, and he said so to Don Quixote. He, however, would not +believe him, being always persuaded and convinced that all that happened +to him must be adventures and still more adventures; so he replied to the +gentleman, "He who is prepared has his battle half fought; nothing is +lost by my preparing myself, for I know by experience that I have +enemies, visible and invisible, and I know not when, or where, or at what +moment, or in what shapes they will attack me;" and turning to Sancho he +called for his helmet; and Sancho, as he had no time to take out the +curds, had to give it just as it was. Don Quixote took it, and without +perceiving what was in it thrust it down in hot haste upon his head; but +as the curds were pressed and squeezed the whey began to run all over his +face and beard, whereat he was so startled that he cried out to Sancho: + +"Sancho, what's this? I think my head is softening, or my brains are +melting, or I am sweating from head to foot! If I am sweating it is not +indeed from fear. I am convinced beyond a doubt that the adventure which +is about to befall me is a terrible one. Give me something to wipe myself +with, if thou hast it, for this profuse sweat is blinding me." + +Sancho held his tongue, and gave him a cloth, and gave thanks to God at +the same time that his master had not found out what was the matter. Don +Quixote then wiped himself, and took off his helmet to see what it was +that made his head feel so cool, and seeing all that white mash inside +his helmet he put it to his nose, and as soon as he had smelt it he +exclaimed: + +"By the life of my lady Dulcinea del Toboso, but it is curds thou hast +put here, thou treacherous, impudent, ill-mannered squire!" + +To which, with great composure and pretended innocence, Sancho replied, +"If they are curds let me have them, your worship, and I'll eat them; but +let the devil eat them, for it must have been he who put them there. I +dare to dirty your helmet! You have guessed the offender finely! Faith, +sir, by the light God gives me, it seems I must have enchanters too, that +persecute me as a creature and limb of your worship, and they must have +put that nastiness there in order to provoke your patience to anger, and +make you baste my ribs as you are wont to do. Well, this time, indeed, +they have missed their aim, for I trust to my master's good sense to see +that I have got no curds or milk, or anything of the sort; and that if I +had it is in my stomach I would put it and not in the helmet." + +"May be so," said Don Quixote. All this the gentleman was observing, and +with astonishment, more especially when, after having wiped himself +clean, his head, face, beard, and helmet, Don Quixote put it on, and +settling himself firmly in his stirrups, easing his sword in the +scabbard, and grasping his lance, he cried, "Now, come who will, here am +I, ready to try conclusions with Satan himself in person!" + +By this time the cart with the flags had come up, unattended by anyone +except the carter on a mule, and a man sitting in front. Don Quixote +planted himself before it and said, "Whither are you going, brothers? +What cart is this? What have you got in it? What flags are those?" + +To this the carter replied, "The cart is mine; what is in it is a pair of +wild caged lions, which the governor of Oran is sending to court as a +present to his Majesty; and the flags are our lord the King's, to show +that what is here is his property." + +"And are the lions large?" asked Don Quixote. + +"So large," replied the man who sat at the door of the cart, "that +larger, or as large, have never crossed from Africa to Spain; I am the +keeper, and I have brought over others, but never any like these. They +are male and female; the male is in that first cage and the female in the +one behind, and they are hungry now, for they have eaten nothing to-day, +so let your worship stand aside, for we must make haste to the place +where we are to feed them." + +Hereupon, smiling slightly, Don Quixote exclaimed, "Lion-whelps to me! to +me whelps of lions, and at such a time! Then, by God! those gentlemen who +send them here shall see if I am a man to be frightened by lions. Get +down, my good fellow, and as you are the keeper open the cages, and turn +me out those beasts, and in the midst of this plain I will let them know +who Don Quixote of La Mancha is, in spite and in the teeth of the +enchanters who send them to me." + +"So, so," said the gentleman to himself at this; "our worthy knight has +shown of what sort he is; the curds, no doubt, have softened his skull +and brought his brains to a head." + +At this instant Sancho came up to him, saying, "Senor, for God's sake do +something to keep my master, Don Quixote, from tackling these lions; for +if he does they'll tear us all to pieces here." + +"Is your master then so mad," asked the gentleman, "that you believe and +are afraid he will engage such fierce animals?" + +"He is not mad," said Sancho, "but he is venturesome." + +"I will prevent it," said the gentleman; and going over to Don Quixote, +who was insisting upon the keeper's opening the cages, he said to him, +"Sir knight, knights-errant should attempt adventures which encourage the +hope of a successful issue, not those which entirely withhold it; for +valour that trenches upon temerity savours rather of madness than of +courage; moreover, these lions do not come to oppose you, nor do they +dream of such a thing; they are going as presents to his Majesty, and it +will not be right to stop them or delay their journey." + +"Gentle sir," replied Don Quixote, "you go and mind your tame partridge +and your bold ferret, and leave everyone to manage his own business; this +is mine, and I know whether these gentlemen the lions come to me or not;" +and then turning to the keeper he exclaimed, "By all that's good, sir +scoundrel, if you don't open the cages this very instant, I'll pin you to +the cart with this lance." + +The carter, seeing the determination of this apparition in armour, said +to him, "Please your worship, for charity's sake, senor, let me unyoke +the mules and place myself in safety along with them before the lions are +turned out; for if they kill them on me I am ruined for life, for all I +possess is this cart and mules." + +"O man of little faith," replied Don Quixote, "get down and unyoke; you +will soon see that you are exerting yourself for nothing, and that you +might have spared yourself the trouble." + +The carter got down and with all speed unyoked the mules, and the keeper +called out at the top of his voice, "I call all here to witness that +against my will and under compulsion I open the cages and let the lions +loose, and that I warn this gentleman that he will be accountable for all +the harm and mischief which these beasts may do, and for my salary and +dues as well. You, gentlemen, place yourselves in safety before I open, +for I know they will do me no harm." + +Once more the gentleman strove to persuade Don Quixote not to do such a +mad thing, as it was tempting God to engage in such a piece of folly. To +this, Don Quixote replied that he knew what he was about. The gentleman +in return entreated him to reflect, for he knew he was under a delusion. + +"Well, senor," answered Don Quixote, "if you do not like to be a +spectator of this tragedy, as in your opinion it will be, spur your +flea-bitten mare, and place yourself in safety." + +Hearing this, Sancho with tears in his eyes entreated him to give up an +enterprise compared with which the one of the windmills, and the awful +one of the fulling mills, and, in fact, all the feats he had attempted in +the whole course of his life, were cakes and fancy bread. "Look ye, +senor," said Sancho, "there's no enchantment here, nor anything of the +sort, for between the bars and chinks of the cage I have seen the paw of +a real lion, and judging by that I reckon the lion such a paw could +belong to must be bigger than a mountain." + +"Fear at any rate," replied Don Quixote, "will make him look bigger to +thee than half the world. Retire, Sancho, and leave me; and if I die here +thou knowest our old compact; thou wilt repair to Dulcinea--I say no +more." To these he added some further words that banished all hope of his +giving up his insane project. He of the green gaban would have offered +resistance, but he found himself ill-matched as to arms, and did not +think it prudent to come to blows with a madman, for such Don Quixote now +showed himself to be in every respect; and the latter, renewing his +commands to the keeper and repeating his threats, gave warning to the +gentleman to spur his mare, Sancho his Dapple, and the carter his mules, +all striving to get away from the cart as far as they could before the +lions broke loose. Sancho was weeping over his master's death, for this +time he firmly believed it was in store for him from the claws of the +lions; and he cursed his fate and called it an unlucky hour when he +thought of taking service with him again; but with all his tears and +lamentations he did not forget to thrash Dapple so as to put a good space +between himself and the cart. The keeper, seeing that the fugitives were +now some distance off, once more entreated and warned him as before; but +he replied that he heard him, and that he need not trouble himself with +any further warnings or entreaties, as they would be fruitless, and bade +him make haste. + +During the delay that occurred while the keeper was opening the first +cage, Don Quixote was considering whether it would not be well to do +battle on foot, instead of on horseback, and finally resolved to fight on +foot, fearing that Rocinante might take fright at the sight of the lions; +he therefore sprang off his horse, flung his lance aside, braced his +buckler on his arm, and drawing his sword, advanced slowly with +marvellous intrepidity and resolute courage, to plant himself in front of +the cart, commending himself with all his heart to God and to his lady +Dulcinea. + +It is to be observed, that on coming to this passage, the author of this +veracious history breaks out into exclamations. "O doughty Don Quixote! +high-mettled past extolling! Mirror, wherein all the heroes of the world +may see themselves! Second modern Don Manuel de Leon, once the glory and +honour of Spanish knighthood! In what words shall I describe this dread +exploit, by what language shall I make it credible to ages to come, what +eulogies are there unmeet for thee, though they be hyperboles piled on +hyperboles! On foot, alone, undaunted, high-souled, with but a simple +sword, and that no trenchant blade of the Perrillo brand, a shield, but +no bright polished steel one, there stoodst thou, biding and awaiting the +two fiercest lions that Africa's forests ever bred! Thy own deeds be thy +praise, valiant Manchegan, and here I leave them as they stand, wanting +the words wherewith to glorify them!" + +Here the author's outburst came to an end, and he proceeded to take up +the thread of his story, saying that the keeper, seeing that Don Quixote +had taken up his position, and that it was impossible for him to avoid +letting out the male without incurring the enmity of the fiery and daring +knight, flung open the doors of the first cage, containing, as has been +said, the lion, which was now seen to be of enormous size, and grim and +hideous mien. The first thing he did was to turn round in the cage in +which he lay, and protrude his claws, and stretch himself thoroughly; he +next opened his mouth, and yawned very leisurely, and with near two +palms' length of tongue that he had thrust forth, he licked the dust out +of his eyes and washed his face; having done this, he put his head out of +the cage and looked all round with eyes like glowing coals, a spectacle +and demeanour to strike terror into temerity itself. Don Quixote merely +observed him steadily, longing for him to leap from the cart and come to +close quarters with him, when he hoped to hew him in pieces. + +So far did his unparalleled madness go; but the noble lion, more +courteous than arrogant, not troubling himself about silly bravado, after +having looked all round, as has been said, turned about and presented his +hind-quarters to Don Quixote, and very coolly and tranquilly lay down +again in the cage. Seeing this, Don Quixote ordered the keeper to take a +stick to him and provoke him to make him come out. + +"That I won't," said the keeper; "for if I anger him, the first he'll +tear in pieces will be myself. Be satisfied, sir knight, with what you +have done, which leaves nothing more to be said on the score of courage, +and do not seek to tempt fortune a second time. The lion has the door +open; he is free to come out or not to come out; but as he has not come +out so far, he will not come out to-day. Your worship's great courage has +been fully manifested already; no brave champion, so it strikes me, is +bound to do more than challenge his enemy and wait for him on the field; +if his adversary does not come, on him lies the disgrace, and he who +waits for him carries off the crown of victory." + +"That is true," said Don Quixote; "close the door, my friend, and let me +have, in the best form thou canst, what thou hast seen me do, by way of +certificate; to wit, that thou didst open for the lion, that I waited for +him, that he did not come out, that I still waited for him, and that +still he did not come out, and lay down again. I am not bound to do more; +enchantments avaunt, and God uphold the right, the truth, and true +chivalry! Close the door as I bade thee, while I make signals to the +fugitives that have left us, that they may learn this exploit from thy +lips." + +The keeper obeyed, and Don Quixote, fixing on the point of his lance the +cloth he had wiped his face with after the deluge of curds, proceeded to +recall the others, who still continued to fly, looking back at every +step, all in a body, the gentleman bringing up the rear. Sancho, however, +happening to observe the signal of the white cloth, exclaimed, "May I +die, if my master has not overcome the wild beasts, for he is calling to +us." + +They all stopped, and perceived that it was Don Quixote who was making +signals, and shaking off their fears to some extent, they approached +slowly until they were near enough to hear distinctly Don Quixote's voice +calling to them. They returned at length to the cart, and as they came +up, Don Quixote said to the carter, "Put your mules to once more, +brother, and continue your journey; and do thou, Sancho, give him two +gold crowns for himself and the keeper, to compensate for the delay they +have incurred through me." + +"That will I give with all my heart," said Sancho; "but what has become +of the lions? Are they dead or alive?" + +The keeper, then, in full detail, and bit by bit, described the end of +the contest, exalting to the best of his power and ability the valour of +Don Quixote, at the sight of whom the lion quailed, and would not and +dared not come out of the cage, although he had held the door open ever +so long; and showing how, in consequence of his having represented to the +knight that it was tempting God to provoke the lion in order to force him +out, which he wished to have done, he very reluctantly, and altogether +against his will, had allowed the door to be closed. + +"What dost thou think of this, Sancho?" said Don Quixote. "Are there any +enchantments that can prevail against true valour? The enchanters may be +able to rob me of good fortune, but of fortitude and courage they +cannot." + +Sancho paid the crowns, the carter put to, the keeper kissed Don +Quixote's hands for the bounty bestowed upon him, and promised to give an +account of the valiant exploit to the King himself, as soon as he saw him +at court. + +"Then," said Don Quixote, "if his Majesty should happen to ask who +performed it, you must say THE KNIGHT OF THE LIONS; for it is my desire +that into this the name I have hitherto borne of Knight of the Rueful +Countenance be from this time forward changed, altered, transformed, and +turned; and in this I follow the ancient usage of knights-errant, who +changed their names when they pleased, or when it suited their purpose." + +The cart went its way, and Don Quixote, Sancho, and he of the green gaban +went theirs. All this time, Don Diego de Miranda had not spoken a word, +being entirely taken up with observing and noting all that Don Quixote +did and said, and the opinion he formed was that he was a man of brains +gone mad, and a madman on the verge of rationality. The first part of his +history had not yet reached him, for, had he read it, the amazement with +which his words and deeds filled him would have vanished, as he would +then have understood the nature of his madness; but knowing nothing of +it, he took him to be rational one moment, and crazy the next, for what +he said was sensible, elegant, and well expressed, and what he did, +absurd, rash, and foolish; and said he to himself, "What could be madder +than putting on a helmet full of curds, and then persuading oneself that +enchanters are softening one's skull; or what could be greater rashness +and folly than wanting to fight lions tooth and nail?" + +Don Quixote roused him from these reflections and this soliloquy by +saying, "No doubt, Senor Don Diego de Miranda, you set me down in your +mind as a fool and a madman, and it would be no wonder if you did, for my +deeds do not argue anything else. But for all that, I would have you take +notice that I am neither so mad nor so foolish as I must have seemed to +you. A gallant knight shows to advantage bringing his lance to bear +adroitly upon a fierce bull under the eyes of his sovereign, in the midst +of a spacious plaza; a knight shows to advantage arrayed in glittering +armour, pacing the lists before the ladies in some joyous tournament, and +all those knights show to advantage that entertain, divert, and, if we +may say so, honour the courts of their princes by warlike exercises, or +what resemble them; but to greater advantage than all these does a +knight-errant show when he traverses deserts, solitudes, cross-roads, +forests, and mountains, in quest of perilous adventures, bent on bringing +them to a happy and successful issue, all to win a glorious and lasting +renown. To greater advantage, I maintain, does the knight-errant show +bringing aid to some widow in some lonely waste, than the court knight +dallying with some city damsel. All knights have their own special parts +to play; let the courtier devote himself to the ladies, let him add +lustre to his sovereign's court by his liveries, let him entertain poor +gentlemen with the sumptuous fare of his table, let him arrange +joustings, marshal tournaments, and prove himself noble, generous, and +magnificent, and above all a good Christian, and so doing he will fulfil +the duties that are especially his; but let the knight-errant explore the +corners of the earth and penetrate the most intricate labyrinths, at each +step let him attempt impossibilities, on desolate heaths let him endure +the burning rays of the midsummer sun, and the bitter inclemency of the +winter winds and frosts; let no lions daunt him, no monsters terrify him, +no dragons make him quail; for to seek these, to attack those, and to +vanquish all, are in truth his main duties. I, then, as it has fallen to +my lot to be a member of knight-errantry, cannot avoid attempting all +that to me seems to come within the sphere of my duties; thus it was my +bounden duty to attack those lions that I just now attacked, although I +knew it to be the height of rashness; for I know well what valour is, +that it is a virtue that occupies a place between two vicious extremes, +cowardice and temerity; but it will be a lesser evil for him who is +valiant to rise till he reaches the point of rashness, than to sink until +he reaches the point of cowardice; for, as it is easier for the prodigal +than for the miser to become generous, so it is easier for a rash man to +prove truly valiant than for a coward to rise to true valour; and believe +me, Senor Don Diego, in attempting adventures it is better to lose by a +card too many than by a card too few; for to hear it said, 'such a knight +is rash and daring,' sounds better than 'such a knight is timid and +cowardly.'" + +"I protest, Senor Don Quixote," said Don Diego, "everything you have said +and done is proved correct by the test of reason itself; and I believe, +if the laws and ordinances of knight-errantry should be lost, they might +be found in your worship's breast as in their own proper depository and +muniment-house; but let us make haste, and reach my village, where you +shall take rest after your late exertions; for if they have not been of +the body they have been of the spirit, and these sometimes tend to +produce bodily fatigue." + +"I take the invitation as a great favour and honour, Senor Don Diego," +replied Don Quixote; and pressing forward at a better pace than before, +at about two in the afternoon they reached the village and house of Don +Diego, or, as Don Quixote called him, "The Knight of the Green Gaban." + +Chapter XVIII. - +Of what happened Don Quixote in the castle or house of the Knight of the +Green Gaban, together with other matters out of the common + +Don Quixote found Don Diego de Miranda's house built in village style, +with his arms in rough stone over the street door; in the patio was the +store-room, and at the entrance the cellar, with plenty of wine-jars +standing round, which, coming from El Toboso, brought back to his memory +his enchanted and transformed Dulcinea; and with a sigh, and not thinking +of what he was saying, or in whose presence he was, he exclaimed-- + +poem{ + + "O ye sweet treasures, to my sorrow found! + Once sweet and welcome when 'twas heaven's good-will. + + "O ye Tobosan jars, how ye bring back to my memory the + sweet object of my bitter regrets!" + +}poem + +The student poet, Don Diego's son, who had come out with his mother to +receive him, heard this exclamation, and both mother and son were filled +with amazement at the extraordinary figure he presented; he, however, +dismounting from Rocinante, advanced with great politeness to ask +permission to kiss the lady's hand, while Don Diego said, "Senora, pray +receive with your wonted kindness Senor Don Quixote of La Mancha, whom +you see before you, a knight-errant, and the bravest and wisest in the +world." + +The lady, whose name was Dona Christina, received him with every sign of +good-will and great courtesy, and Don Quixote placed himself at her +service with an abundance of well-chosen and polished phrases. Almost the +same civilities were exchanged between him and the student, who listening +to Don Quixote, took him to be a sensible, clear-headed person. + +Here the author describes minutely everything belonging to Don Diego's +mansion, putting before us in his picture the whole contents of a rich +gentleman-farmer's house; but the translator of the history thought it +best to pass over these and other details of the same sort in silence, as +they are not in harmony with the main purpose of the story, the strong +point of which is truth rather than dull digressions. + +They led Don Quixote into a room, and Sancho removed his armour, leaving +him in loose Walloon breeches and chamois-leather doublet, all stained +with the rust of his armour; his collar was a falling one of scholastic +cut, without starch or lace, his buskins buff-coloured, and his shoes +polished. He wore his good sword, which hung in a baldric of sea-wolf's +skin, for he had suffered for many years, they say, from an ailment of +the kidneys; and over all he threw a long cloak of good grey cloth. But +first of all, with five or six buckets of water (for as regard the number +of buckets there is some dispute), he washed his head and face, and still +the water remained whey-coloured, thanks to Sancho's greediness and +purchase of those unlucky curds that turned his master so white. Thus +arrayed, and with an easy, sprightly, and gallant air, Don Quixote passed +out into another room, where the student was waiting to entertain him +while the table was being laid; for on the arrival of so distinguished a +guest, Dona Christina was anxious to show that she knew how and was able +to give a becoming reception to those who came to her house. + +While Don Quixote was taking off his armour, Don Lorenzo (for so Don +Diego's son was called) took the opportunity to say to his father, "What +are we to make of this gentleman you have brought home to us, sir? For +his name, his appearance, and your describing him as a knight-errant have +completely puzzled my mother and me." + +"I don't know what to say, my son," replied. Don Diego; "all I can tell +thee is that I have seen him act the acts of the greatest madman in the +world, and heard him make observations so sensible that they efface and +undo all he does; do thou talk to him and feel the pulse of his wits, and +as thou art shrewd, form the most reasonable conclusion thou canst as to +his wisdom or folly; though, to tell the truth, I am more inclined to +take him to be mad than sane." + +With this Don Lorenzo went away to entertain Don Quixote as has been +said, and in the course of the conversation that passed between them Don +Quixote said to Don Lorenzo, "Your father, Senor Don Diego de Miranda, +has told me of the rare abilities and subtle intellect you possess, and, +above all, that you are a great poet." + +"A poet, it may be," replied Don Lorenzo, "but a great one, by no means. +It is true that I am somewhat given to poetry and to reading good poets, +but not so much so as to justify the title of 'great' which my father +gives me." + +"I do not dislike that modesty," said Don Quixote; "for there is no poet +who is not conceited and does not think he is the best poet in the +world." + +"There is no rule without an exception," said Don Lorenzo; "there may be +some who are poets and yet do not think they are." + +"Very few," said Don Quixote; "but tell me, what verses are those which +you have now in hand, and which your father tells me keep you somewhat +restless and absorbed? If it be some gloss, I know something about +glosses, and I should like to hear them; and if they are for a poetical +tournament, contrive to carry off the second prize; for the first always +goes by favour or personal standing, the second by simple justice; and so +the third comes to be the second, and the first, reckoning in this way, +will be third, in the same way as licentiate degrees are conferred at the +universities; but, for all that, the title of first is a great +distinction." + +"So far," said Don Lorenzo to himself, "I should not take you to be a +madman; but let us go on." So he said to him, "Your worship has +apparently attended the schools; what sciences have you studied?" + +"That of knight-errantry," said Don Quixote, "which is as good as that of +poetry, and even a finger or two above it." + +"I do not know what science that is," said Don Lorenzo, "and until now I +have never heard of it." + +"It is a science," said Don Quixote, "that comprehends in itself all or +most of the sciences in the world, for he who professes it must be a +jurist, and must know the rules of justice, distributive and equitable, +so as to give to each one what belongs to him and is due to him. He must +be a theologian, so as to be able to give a clear and distinctive reason +for the Christian faith he professes, wherever it may be asked of him. He +must be a physician, and above all a herbalist, so as in wastes and +solitudes to know the herbs that have the property of healing wounds, for +a knight-errant must not go looking for some one to cure him at every +step. He must be an astronomer, so as to know by the stars how many hours +of the night have passed, and what clime and quarter of the world he is +in. He must know mathematics, for at every turn some occasion for them +will present itself to him; and, putting it aside that he must be adorned +with all the virtues, cardinal and theological, to come down to minor +particulars, he must, I say, be able to swim as well as Nicholas or +Nicolao the Fish could, as the story goes; he must know how to shoe a +horse, and repair his saddle and bridle; and, to return to higher +matters, he must be faithful to God and to his lady; he must be pure in +thought, decorous in words, generous in works, valiant in deeds, patient +in suffering, compassionate towards the needy, and, lastly, an upholder +of the truth though its defence should cost him his life. Of all these +qualities, great and small, is a true knight-errant made up; judge then, +Senor Don Lorenzo, whether it be a contemptible science which the knight +who studies and professes it has to learn, and whether it may not compare +with the very loftiest that are taught in the schools." + +"If that be so," replied Don Lorenzo, "this science, I protest, surpasses +all." + +"How, if that be so?" said Don Quixote. + +"What I mean to say," said Don Lorenzo, "is, that I doubt whether there +are now, or ever were, any knights-errant, and adorned with such +virtues." + +"Many a time," replied Don Quixote, "have I said what I now say once +more, that the majority of the world are of opinion that there never were +any knights-errant in it; and as it is my opinion that, unless heaven by +some miracle brings home to them the truth that there were and are, all +the pains one takes will be in vain (as experience has often proved to +me), I will not now stop to disabuse you of the error you share with the +multitude. All I shall do is to pray to heaven to deliver you from it, +and show you how beneficial and necessary knights-errant were in days of +yore, and how useful they would be in these days were they but in vogue; +but now, for the sins of the people, sloth and indolence, gluttony and +luxury are triumphant." + +"Our guest has broken out on our hands," said Don Lorenzo to himself at +this point; "but, for all that, he is a glorious madman, and I should be +a dull blockhead to doubt it." + +Here, being summoned to dinner, they brought their colloquy to a close. +Don Diego asked his son what he had been able to make out as to the wits +of their guest. To which he replied, "All the doctors and clever scribes +in the world will not make sense of the scrawl of his madness; he is a +madman full of streaks, full of lucid intervals." + +They went in to dinner, and the repast was such as Don Diego said on the +road he was in the habit of giving to his guests, neat, plentiful, and +tasty; but what pleased Don Quixote most was the marvellous silence that +reigned throughout the house, for it was like a Carthusian monastery. + +When the cloth had been removed, grace said and their hands washed, Don +Quixote earnestly pressed Don Lorenzo to repeat to him his verses for the +poetical tournament, to which he replied, "Not to be like those poets +who, when they are asked to recite their verses, refuse, and when they +are not asked for them vomit them up, I will repeat my gloss, for which I +do not expect any prize, having composed it merely as an exercise of +ingenuity." + +"A discerning friend of mine," said Don Quixote, "was of opinion that no +one ought to waste labour in glossing verses; and the reason he gave was +that the gloss can never come up to the text, and that often or most +frequently it wanders away from the meaning and purpose aimed at in the +glossed lines; and besides, that the laws of the gloss were too strict, +as they did not allow interrogations, nor 'said he,' nor 'I say,' nor +turning verbs into nouns, or altering the construction, not to speak of +other restrictions and limitations that fetter gloss-writers, as you no +doubt know." + +"Verily, Senor Don Quixote," said Don Lorenzo, "I wish I could catch your +worship tripping at a stretch, but I cannot, for you slip through my +fingers like an eel." + +"I don't understand what you say, or mean by slipping," said Don Quixote. + +"I will explain myself another time," said Don Lorenzo; "for the present +pray attend to the glossed verses and the gloss, which run thus: + +poem{ + +Could 'was' become an 'is' for me, +Then would I ask no more than this; +Or could, for me, the time that is +Become the time that is to be!-- + +GLOSS + +Dame Fortune once upon a day + To me was bountiful and kind; + But all things change; she changed her mind, +And what she gave she took away. +O Fortune, long I've sued to thee; + The gifts thou gavest me restore, + For, trust me, I would ask no more, +Could 'was' become an 'is' for me. + +No other prize I seek to gain, + No triumph, glory, or success, + Only the long-lost happiness, +The memory whereof is pain. +One taste, methinks, of bygone bliss + The heart-consuming fire might stay; + And, so it come without delay, +Then would I ask no more than this. + +I ask what cannot be, alas! + That time should ever be, and then + Come back to us, and be again, +No power on earth can bring to pass; +For fleet of foot is he, I wis, + And idly, therefore, do we pray + That what for aye hath left us may +Become for us the time that is. + +Perplexed, uncertain, to remain + 'Twixt hope and fear, is death, not life; + 'Twere better, sure, to end the strife, +And dying, seek release from pain. +And yet, thought were the best for me. + Anon the thought aside I fling, + And to the present fondly cling, +And dread the time that is to be." + +}poem + +When Don Lorenzo had finished reciting his gloss, Don Quixote stood up, +and in a loud voice, almost a shout, exclaimed as he grasped Don +Lorenzo's right hand in his, "By the highest heavens, noble youth, but +you are the best poet on earth, and deserve to be crowned with laurel, +not by Cyprus or by Gaeta--as a certain poet, God forgive him, said--but +by the Academies of Athens, if they still flourished, and by those that +flourish now, Paris, Bologna, Salamanca. Heaven grant that the judges who +rob you of the first prize--that Phoebus may pierce them with his arrows, +and the Muses never cross the thresholds of their doors. Repeat me some +of your long-measure verses, senor, if you will be so good, for I want +thoroughly to feel the pulse of your rare genius." + +Is there any need to say that Don Lorenzo enjoyed hearing himself praised +by Don Quixote, albeit he looked upon him as a madman? power of flattery, +how far-reaching art thou, and how wide are the bounds of thy pleasant +jurisdiction! Don Lorenzo gave a proof of it, for he complied with Don +Quixote's request and entreaty, and repeated to him this sonnet on the +fable or story of Pyramus and Thisbe. + +poem{ + +SONNET + +The lovely maid, she pierces now the wall; + Heart-pierced by her young Pyramus doth lie; + And Love spreads wing from Cyprus isle to fly, +A chink to view so wondrous great and small. +There silence speaketh, for no voice at all + Can pass so strait a strait; but love will ply + Where to all other power 'twere vain to try; +For love will find a way whate'er befall. +Impatient of delay, with reckless pace + The rash maid wins the fatal spot where she +Sinks not in lover's arms but death's embrace. + So runs the strange tale, how the lovers twain +One sword, one sepulchre, one memory, + Slays, and entombs, and brings to life again. + +}poem + +"Blessed be God," said Don Quixote when he had heard Don Lorenzo's +sonnet, "that among the hosts there are of irritable poets I have found +one consummate one, which, senor, the art of this sonnet proves to me +that you are!" + +For four days was Don Quixote most sumptuously entertained in Don Diego's +house, at the end of which time he asked his permission to depart, +telling him he thanked him for the kindness and hospitality he had +received in his house, but that, as it did not become knights-errant to +give themselves up for long to idleness and luxury, he was anxious to +fulfill the duties of his calling in seeking adventures, of which he was +informed there was an abundance in that neighbourhood, where he hoped to +employ his time until the day came round for the jousts at Saragossa, for +that was his proper destination; and that, first of all, he meant to +enter the cave of Montesinos, of which so many marvellous things were +reported all through the country, and at the same time to investigate and +explore the origin and true source of the seven lakes commonly called the +lakes of Ruidera. + +Don Diego and his son commended his laudable resolution, and bade him +furnish himself with all he wanted from their house and belongings, as +they would most gladly be of service to him; which, indeed, his personal +worth and his honourable profession made incumbent upon them. + +The day of his departure came at length, as welcome to Don Quixote as it +was sad and sorrowful to Sancho Panza, who was very well satisfied with +the abundance of Don Diego's house, and objected to return to the +starvation of the woods and wilds and the short-commons of his +ill-stocked alforjas; these, however, he filled and packed with what he +considered needful. On taking leave, Don Quixote said to Don Lorenzo, "I +know not whether I have told you already, but if I have I tell you once +more, that if you wish to spare yourself fatigue and toil in reaching the +inaccessible summit of the temple of fame, you have nothing to do but to +turn aside out of the somewhat narrow path of poetry and take the still +narrower one of knight-errantry, wide enough, however, to make you an +emperor in the twinkling of an eye." + +In this speech Don Quixote wound up the evidence of his madness, but +still better in what he added when he said, "God knows, I would gladly +take Don Lorenzo with me to teach him how to spare the humble, and +trample the proud under foot, virtues that are part and parcel of the +profession I belong to; but since his tender age does not allow of it, +nor his praiseworthy pursuits permit it, I will simply content myself +with impressing it upon your worship that you will become famous as a +poet if you are guided by the opinion of others rather than by your own; +because no fathers or mothers ever think their own children ill-favoured, +and this sort of deception prevails still more strongly in the case of +the children of the brain." + +Both father and son were amazed afresh at the strange medley Don Quixote +talked, at one moment sense, at another nonsense, and at the pertinacity +and persistence he displayed in going through thick and thin in quest of +his unlucky adventures, which he made the end and aim of his desires. +There was a renewal of offers of service and civilities, and then, with +the gracious permission of the lady of the castle, they took their +departure, Don Quixote on Rocinante, and Sancho on Dapple. + +Chapter XIX. - +In which is related the adventure of the enamoured shepherd, together +with other truly droll incidents + +Don Quixote had gone but a short distance beyond Don Diego's village, +when he fell in with a couple of either priests or students, and a couple +of peasants, mounted on four beasts of the ass kind. One of the students +carried, wrapped up in a piece of green buckram by way of a portmanteau, +what seemed to be a little linen and a couple of pairs of-ribbed +stockings; the other carried nothing but a pair of new fencing-foils with +buttons. The peasants carried divers articles that showed they were on +their way from some large town where they had bought them, and were +taking them home to their village; and both students and peasants were +struck with the same amazement that everybody felt who saw Don Quixote +for the first time, and were dying to know who this man, so different +from ordinary men, could be. Don Quixote saluted them, and after +ascertaining that their road was the same as his, made them an offer of +his company, and begged them to slacken their pace, as their young asses +travelled faster than his horse; and then, to gratify them, he told them +in a few words who he was and the calling and profession he followed, +which was that of a knight-errant seeking adventures in all parts of the +world. He informed them that his own name was Don Quixote of La Mancha, +and that he was called, by way of surname, the Knight of the Lions. + +All this was Greek or gibberish to the peasants, but not so to the +students, who very soon perceived the crack in Don Quixote's pate; for +all that, however, they regarded him with admiration and respect, and one +of them said to him, "If you, sir knight, have no fixed road, as it is +the way with those who seek adventures not to have any, let your worship +come with us; you will see one of the finest and richest weddings that up +to this day have ever been celebrated in La Mancha, or for many a league +round." + +Don Quixote asked him if it was some prince's, that he spoke of it in +this way. "Not at all," said the student; "it is the wedding of a farmer +and a farmer's daughter, he the richest in all this country, and she the +fairest mortal ever set eyes on. The display with which it is to be +attended will be something rare and out of the common, for it will be +celebrated in a meadow adjoining the town of the bride, who is called, +par excellence, Quiteria the fair, as the bridegroom is called Camacho +the rich. She is eighteen, and he twenty-two, and they are fairly +matched, though some knowing ones, who have all the pedigrees in the +world by heart, will have it that the family of the fair Quiteria is +better than Camacho's; but no one minds that now-a-days, for wealth can +solder a great many flaws. At any rate, Camacho is free-handed, and it is +his fancy to screen the whole meadow with boughs and cover it in +overhead, so that the sun will have hard work if he tries to get in to +reach the grass that covers the soil. He has provided dancers too, not +only sword but also bell-dancers, for in his own town there are those who +ring the changes and jingle the bells to perfection; of shoe-dancers I +say nothing, for of them he has engaged a host. But none of these things, +nor of the many others I have omitted to mention, will do more to make +this a memorable wedding than the part which I suspect the despairing +Basilio will play in it. This Basilio is a youth of the same village as +Quiteria, and he lived in the house next door to that of her parents, of +which circumstance Love took advantage to reproduce to the word the +long-forgotten loves of Pyramus and Thisbe; for Basilio loved Quiteria +from his earliest years, and she responded to his passion with countless +modest proofs of affection, so that the loves of the two children, +Basilio and Quiteria, were the talk and the amusement of the town. As +they grew up, the father of Quiteria made up his mind to refuse Basilio +his wonted freedom of access to the house, and to relieve himself of +constant doubts and suspicions, he arranged a match for his daughter with +the rich Camacho, as he did not approve of marrying her to Basilio, who +had not so large a share of the gifts of fortune as of nature; for if the +truth be told ungrudgingly, he is the most agile youth we know, a mighty +thrower of the bar, a first-rate wrestler, and a great ball-player; he +runs like a deer, and leaps better than a goat, bowls over the nine-pins +as if by magic, sings like a lark, plays the guitar so as to make it +speak, and, above all, handles a sword as well as the best." + +"For that excellence alone," said Don Quixote at this, "the youth +deserves to marry, not merely the fair Quiteria, but Queen Guinevere +herself, were she alive now, in spite of Launcelot and all who would try +to prevent it." + +"Say that to my wife," said Sancho, who had until now listened in +silence, "for she won't hear of anything but each one marrying his equal, +holding with the proverb 'each ewe to her like.' What I would like is +that this good Basilio (for I am beginning to take a fancy to him +already) should marry this lady Quiteria; and a blessing and good luck--I +meant to say the opposite--on people who would prevent those who love one +another from marrying." + +"If all those who love one another were to marry," said Don Quixote, "it +would deprive parents of the right to choose, and marry their children to +the proper person and at the proper time; and if it was left to daughters +to choose husbands as they pleased, one would be for choosing her +father's servant, and another, some one she has seen passing in the +street and fancies gallant and dashing, though he may be a drunken bully; +for love and fancy easily blind the eyes of the judgment, so much wanted +in choosing one's way of life; and the matrimonial choice is very liable +to error, and it needs great caution and the special favour of heaven to +make it a good one. He who has to make a long journey, will, if he is +wise, look out for some trusty and pleasant companion to accompany him +before he sets out. Why, then, should not he do the same who has to make +the whole journey of life down to the final halting-place of death, more +especially when the companion has to be his companion in bed, at board, +and everywhere, as the wife is to her husband? The companionship of one's +wife is no article of merchandise, that, after it has been bought, may be +returned, or bartered, or changed; for it is an inseparable accident that +lasts as long as life lasts; it is a noose that, once you put it round +your neck, turns into a Gordian knot, which, if the scythe of Death does +not cut it, there is no untying. I could say a great deal more on this +subject, were I not prevented by the anxiety I feel to know if the senor +licentiate has anything more to tell about the story of Basilio." + +To this the student, bachelor, or, as Don Quixote called him, licentiate, +replied, "I have nothing whatever to say further, but that from the +moment Basilio learned that the fair Quiteria was to be married to +Camacho the rich, he has never been seen to smile, or heard to utter +rational word, and he always goes about moody and dejected, talking to +himself in a way that shows plainly he is out of his senses. He eats +little and sleeps little, and all he eats is fruit, and when he sleeps, +if he sleeps at all, it is in the field on the hard earth like a brute +beast. Sometimes he gazes at the sky, at other times he fixes his eyes on +the earth in such an abstracted way that he might be taken for a clothed +statue, with its drapery stirred by the wind. In short, he shows such +signs of a heart crushed by suffering, that all we who know him believe +that when to-morrow the fair Quiteria says 'yes,' it will be his sentence +of death." + +"God will guide it better," said Sancho, "for God who gives the wound +gives the salve; nobody knows what will happen; there are a good many +hours between this and to-morrow, and any one of them, or any moment, the +house may fall; I have seen the rain coming down and the sun shining all +at one time; many a one goes to bed in good health who can't stir the +next day. And tell me, is there anyone who can boast of having driven a +nail into the wheel of fortune? No, faith; and between a woman's 'yes' +and 'no' I wouldn't venture to put the point of a pin, for there would +not be room for it; if you tell me Quiteria loves Basilio heart and soul, +then I'll give him a bag of good luck; for love, I have heard say, looks +through spectacles that make copper seem gold, poverty wealth, and blear +eyes pearls." + +"What art thou driving at, Sancho? curses on thee!" said Don Quixote; +"for when thou takest to stringing proverbs and sayings together, no one +can understand thee but Judas himself, and I wish he had thee. Tell me, +thou animal, what dost thou know about nails or wheels, or anything +else?" + +"Oh, if you don't understand me," replied Sancho, "it is no wonder my +words are taken for nonsense; but no matter; I understand myself, and I +know I have not said anything very foolish in what I have said; only your +worship, senor, is always gravelling at everything I say, nay, everything +I do." + +"Cavilling, not gravelling," said Don Quixote, "thou prevaricator of +honest language, God confound thee!" + +"Don't find fault with me, your worship," returned Sancho, "for you know +I have not been bred up at court or trained at Salamanca, to know whether +I am adding or dropping a letter or so in my words. Why! God bless me, +it's not fair to force a Sayago-man to speak like a Toledan; maybe there +are Toledans who do not hit it off when it comes to polished talk." + +"That is true," said the licentiate, "for those who have been bred up in +the Tanneries and the Zocodover cannot talk like those who are almost all +day pacing the cathedral cloisters, and yet they are all Toledans. Pure, +correct, elegant and lucid language will be met with in men of courtly +breeding and discrimination, though they may have been born in +Majalahonda; I say of discrimination, because there are many who are not +so, and discrimination is the grammar of good language, if it be +accompanied by practice. I, sirs, for my sins have studied canon law at +Salamanca, and I rather pique myself on expressing my meaning in clear, +plain, and intelligible language." + +"If you did not pique yourself more on your dexterity with those foils +you carry than on dexterity of tongue," said the other student, "you +would have been head of the degrees, where you are now tail." + +"Look here, bachelor Corchuelo," returned the licentiate, "you have the +most mistaken idea in the world about skill with the sword, if you think +it useless." + +"It is no idea on my part, but an established truth," replied Corchuelo; +"and if you wish me to prove it to you by experiment, you have swords +there, and it is a good opportunity; I have a steady hand and a strong +arm, and these joined with my resolution, which is not small, will make +you confess that I am not mistaken. Dismount and put in practice your +positions and circles and angles and science, for I hope to make you see +stars at noonday with my rude raw swordsmanship, in which, next to God, I +place my trust that the man is yet to be born who will make me turn my +back, and that there is not one in the world I will not compel to give +ground." + +"As to whether you turn your back or not, I do not concern myself," +replied the master of fence; "though it might be that your grave would be +dug on the spot where you planted your foot the first time; I mean that +you would be stretched dead there for despising skill with the sword." + +"We shall soon see," replied Corchuelo, and getting off his ass briskly, +he drew out furiously one of the swords the licentiate carried on his +beast. + +"It must not be that way," said Don Quixote at this point; "I will be the +director of this fencing match, and judge of this often disputed +question;" and dismounting from Rocinante and grasping his lance, he +planted himself in the middle of the road, just as the licentiate, with +an easy, graceful bearing and step, advanced towards Corchuelo, who came +on against him, darting fire from his eyes, as the saying is. The other +two of the company, the peasants, without dismounting from their asses, +served as spectators of the mortal tragedy. The cuts, thrusts, down +strokes, back strokes and doubles, that Corchuelo delivered were past +counting, and came thicker than hops or hail. He attacked like an angry +lion, but he was met by a tap on the mouth from the button of the +licentiate's sword that checked him in the midst of his furious onset, +and made him kiss it as if it were a relic, though not as devoutly as +relics are and ought to be kissed. The end of it was that the licentiate +reckoned up for him by thrusts every one of the buttons of the short +cassock he wore, tore the skirts into strips, like the tails of a +cuttlefish, knocked off his hat twice, and so completely tired him out, +that in vexation, anger, and rage, he took the sword by the hilt and +flung it away with such force, that one of the peasants that were there, +who was a notary, and who went for it, made an affidavit afterwards that +he sent it nearly three-quarters of a league, which testimony will serve, +and has served, to show and establish with all certainty that strength is +overcome by skill. + +Corchuelo sat down wearied, and Sancho approaching him said, "By my +faith, senor bachelor, if your worship takes my advice, you will never +challenge anyone to fence again, only to wrestle and throw the bar, for +you have the youth and strength for that; but as for these fencers as +they call them, I have heard say they can put the point of a sword +through the eye of a needle." + +"I am satisfied with having tumbled off my donkey," said Corchuelo, "and +with having had the truth I was so ignorant of proved to me by +experience;" and getting up he embraced the licentiate, and they were +better friends than ever; and not caring to wait for the notary who had +gone for the sword, as they saw he would be a long time about it, they +resolved to push on so as to reach the village of Quiteria, to which they +all belonged, in good time. + +During the remainder of the journey the licentiate held forth to them on +the excellences of the sword, with such conclusive arguments, and such +figures and mathematical proofs, that all were convinced of the value of +the science, and Corchuelo cured of his dogmatism. + +It grew dark; but before they reached the town it seemed to them all as +if there was a heaven full of countless glittering stars in front of it. +They heard, too, the pleasant mingled notes of a variety of instruments, +flutes, drums, psalteries, pipes, tabors, and timbrels, and as they drew +near they perceived that the trees of a leafy arcade that had been +constructed at the entrance of the town were filled with lights +unaffected by the wind, for the breeze at the time was so gentle that it +had not power to stir the leaves on the trees. The musicians were the +life of the wedding, wandering through the pleasant grounds in separate +bands, some dancing, others singing, others playing the various +instruments already mentioned. In short, it seemed as though mirth and +gaiety were frisking and gambolling all over the meadow. Several other +persons were engaged in erecting raised benches from which people might +conveniently see the plays and dances that were to be performed the next +day on the spot dedicated to the celebration of the marriage of Camacho +the rich and the obsequies of Basilio. Don Quixote would not enter the +village, although the peasant as well as the bachelor pressed him; he +excused himself, however, on the grounds, amply sufficient in his +opinion, that it was the custom of knights-errant to sleep in the fields +and woods in preference to towns, even were it under gilded ceilings; and +so turned aside a little out of the road, very much against Sancho's +will, as the good quarters he had enjoyed in the castle or house of Don +Diego came back to his mind. + +Chapter XX. - +Wherein an account is given of the wedding of Camacho the rich, together +with the incident of Basilio the poor + +Scarce had the fair Aurora given bright Phoebus time to dry the liquid +pearls upon her golden locks with the heat of his fervent rays, when Don +Quixote, shaking off sloth from his limbs, sprang to his feet and called +to his squire Sancho, who was still snoring; seeing which Don Quixote ere +he roused him thus addressed him: "Happy thou, above all the dwellers on +the face of the earth, that, without envying or being envied, sleepest +with tranquil mind, and that neither enchanters persecute nor +enchantments affright. Sleep, I say, and will say a hundred times, +without any jealous thoughts of thy mistress to make thee keep ceaseless +vigils, or any cares as to how thou art to pay the debts thou owest, or +find to-morrow's food for thyself and thy needy little family, to +interfere with thy repose. Ambition breaks not thy rest, nor doth this +world's empty pomp disturb thee, for the utmost reach of thy anxiety is +to provide for thy ass, since upon my shoulders thou hast laid the +support of thyself, the counterpoise and burden that nature and custom +have imposed upon masters. The servant sleeps and the master lies awake +thinking how he is to feed him, advance him, and reward him. The distress +of seeing the sky turn brazen, and withhold its needful moisture from the +earth, is not felt by the servant but by the master, who in time of +scarcity and famine must support him who has served him in times of +plenty and abundance." + +To all this Sancho made no reply because he was asleep, nor would he have +wakened up so soon as he did had not Don Quixote brought him to his +senses with the butt of his lance. He awoke at last, drowsy and lazy, and +casting his eyes about in every direction, observed, "There comes, if I +don't mistake, from the quarter of that arcade a steam and a smell a +great deal more like fried rashers than galingale or thyme; a wedding +that begins with smells like that, by my faith, ought to be plentiful and +unstinting." + +"Have done, thou glutton," said Don Quixote; "come, let us go and witness +this bridal, and see what the rejected Basilio does." + +"Let him do what he likes," returned Sancho; "be he not poor, he would +marry Quiteria. To make a grand match for himself, and he without a +farthing; is there nothing else? Faith, senor, it's my opinion the poor +man should be content with what he can get, and not go looking for +dainties in the bottom of the sea. I will bet my arm that Camacho could +bury Basilio in reals; and if that be so, as no doubt it is, what a fool +Quiteria would be to refuse the fine dresses and jewels Camacho must have +given her and will give her, and take Basilio's bar-throwing and +sword-play. They won't give a pint of wine at the tavern for a good cast +of the bar or a neat thrust of the sword. Talents and accomplishments +that can't be turned into money, let Count Dirlos have them; but when +such gifts fall to one that has hard cash, I wish my condition of life +was as becoming as they are. On a good foundation you can raise a good +building, and the best foundation in the world is money." + +"For God's sake, Sancho," said Don Quixote here, "stop that harangue; it +is my belief, if thou wert allowed to continue all thou beginnest every +instant, thou wouldst have no time left for eating or sleeping; for thou +wouldst spend it all in talking." + +"If your worship had a good memory," replied Sancho, "you would remember +the articles of our agreement before we started from home this last time; +one of them was that I was to be let say all I liked, so long as it was +not against my neighbour or your worship's authority; and so far, it +seems to me, I have not broken the said article." + +"I remember no such article, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "and even if it +were so, I desire you to hold your tongue and come along; for the +instruments we heard last night are already beginning to enliven the +valleys again, and no doubt the marriage will take place in the cool of +the morning, and not in the heat of the afternoon." + +Sancho did as his master bade him, and putting the saddle on Rocinante +and the pack-saddle on Dapple, they both mounted and at a leisurely pace +entered the arcade. The first thing that presented itself to Sancho's +eyes was a whole ox spitted on a whole elm tree, and in the fire at which +it was to be roasted there was burning a middling-sized mountain of +faggots, and six stewpots that stood round the blaze had not been made in +the ordinary mould of common pots, for they were six half wine-jars, each +fit to hold the contents of a slaughter-house; they swallowed up whole +sheep and hid them away in their insides without showing any more sign of +them than if they were pigeons. Countless were the hares ready skinned +and the plucked fowls that hung on the trees for burial in the pots, +numberless the wildfowl and game of various sorts suspended from the +branches that the air might keep them cool. Sancho counted more than +sixty wine skins of over six gallons each, and all filled, as it proved +afterwards, with generous wines. There were, besides, piles of the +whitest bread, like the heaps of corn one sees on the threshing-floors. +There was a wall made of cheeses arranged like open brick-work, and two +cauldrons full of oil, bigger than those of a dyer's shop, served for +cooking fritters, which when fried were taken out with two mighty +shovels, and plunged into another cauldron of prepared honey that stood +close by. Of cooks and cook-maids there were over fifty, all clean, +brisk, and blithe. In the capacious belly of the ox were a dozen soft +little sucking-pigs, which, sewn up there, served to give it tenderness +and flavour. The spices of different kinds did not seem to have been +bought by the pound but by the quarter, and all lay open to view in a +great chest. In short, all the preparations made for the wedding were in +rustic style, but abundant enough to feed an army. + +Sancho observed all, contemplated all, and everything won his heart. The +first to captivate and take his fancy were the pots, out of which he +would have very gladly helped himself to a moderate pipkinful; then the +wine skins secured his affections; and lastly, the produce of the +frying-pans, if, indeed, such imposing cauldrons may be called +frying-pans; and unable to control himself or bear it any longer, he +approached one of the busy cooks and civilly but hungrily begged +permission to soak a scrap of bread in one of the pots; to which the cook +made answer, "Brother, this is not a day on which hunger is to have any +sway, thanks to the rich Camacho; get down and look about for a ladle and +skim off a hen or two, and much good may they do you." + +"I don't see one," said Sancho. + +"Wait a bit," said the cook; "sinner that I am! how particular and +bashful you are!" and so saying, he seized a bucket and plunging it into +one of the half jars took up three hens and a couple of geese, and said +to Sancho, "Fall to, friend, and take the edge off your appetite with +these skimmings until dinner-time comes." + +"I have nothing to put them in," said Sancho. + +"Well then," said the cook, "take spoon and all; for Camacho's wealth and +happiness furnish everything." + +While Sancho fared thus, Don Quixote was watching the entrance, at one +end of the arcade, of some twelve peasants, all in holiday and gala +dress, mounted on twelve beautiful mares with rich handsome field +trappings and a number of little bells attached to their petrals, who, +marshalled in regular order, ran not one but several courses over the +meadow, with jubilant shouts and cries of "Long live Camacho and +Quiteria! he as rich as she is fair; and she the fairest on earth!" + +Hearing this, Don Quixote said to himself, "It is easy to see these folk +have never seen my Dulcinea del Toboso; for if they had they would be +more moderate in their praises of this Quiteria of theirs." + +Shortly after this, several bands of dancers of various sorts began to +enter the arcade at different points, and among them one of sword-dancers +composed of some four-and-twenty lads of gallant and high-spirited mien, +clad in the finest and whitest of linen, and with handkerchiefs +embroidered in various colours with fine silk; and one of those on the +mares asked an active youth who led them if any of the dancers had been +wounded. "As yet, thank God, no one has been wounded," said he, "we are +all safe and sound;" and he at once began to execute complicated figures +with the rest of his comrades, with so many turns and so great dexterity, +that although Don Quixote was well used to see dances of the same kind, +he thought he had never seen any so good as this. He also admired another +that came in composed of fair young maidens, none of whom seemed to be +under fourteen or over eighteen years of age, all clad in green stuff, +with their locks partly braided, partly flowing loose, but all of such +bright gold as to vie with the sunbeams, and over them they wore garlands +of jessamine, roses, amaranth, and honeysuckle. At their head were a +venerable old man and an ancient dame, more brisk and active, however, +than might have been expected from their years. The notes of a Zamora +bagpipe accompanied them, and with modesty in their countenances and in +their eyes, and lightness in their feet, they looked the best dancers in +the world. + +Following these there came an artistic dance of the sort they call +"speaking dances." It was composed of eight nymphs in two files, with the +god Cupid leading one and Interest the other, the former furnished with +wings, bow, quiver and arrows, the latter in a rich dress of gold and +silk of divers colours. The nymphs that followed Love bore their names +written on white parchment in large letters on their backs. "Poetry" was +the name of the first, "Wit" of the second, "Birth" of the third, and +"Valour" of the fourth. Those that followed Interest were distinguished +in the same way; the badge of the first announced "Liberality," that of +the second "Largess," the third "Treasure," and the fourth "Peaceful +Possession." In front of them all came a wooden castle drawn by four wild +men, all clad in ivy and hemp stained green, and looking so natural that +they nearly terrified Sancho. On the front of the castle and on each of +the four sides of its frame it bore the inscription "Castle of Caution." +Four skillful tabor and flute players accompanied them, and the dance +having been opened, Cupid, after executing two figures, raised his eyes +and bent his bow against a damsel who stood between the turrets of the +castle, and thus addressed her: + +poem{ + +I am the mighty God whose sway + Is potent over land and sea. +The heavens above us own me; nay, + The shades below acknowledge me. +I know not fear, I have my will, + Whate'er my whim or fancy be; +For me there's no impossible, + I order, bind, forbid, set free. + +}poem + +Having concluded the stanza he discharged an arrow at the top of the +castle, and went back to his place. Interest then came forward and went +through two more figures, and as soon as the tabors ceased, he said: + +poem{ + +But mightier than Love am I, + Though Love it be that leads me on, +Than mine no lineage is more high, + Or older, underneath the sun. +To use me rightly few know how, + To act without me fewer still, +For I am Interest, and I vow + For evermore to do thy will. + +}poem + +Interest retired, and Poetry came forward, and when she had gone through +her figures like the others, fixing her eyes on the damsel of the castle, +she said: + +poem{ + +With many a fanciful conceit, + Fair Lady, winsome Poesy +Her soul, an offering at thy feet, + Presents in sonnets unto thee. +If thou my homage wilt not scorn, + Thy fortune, watched by envious eyes, +On wings of poesy upborne + Shall be exalted to the skies. + +}poem + +Poetry withdrew, and on the side of Interest Liberality advanced, and +after having gone through her figures, said: + +poem{ + +To give, while shunning each extreme, + The sparing hand, the over-free, +Therein consists, so wise men deem, + The virtue Liberality. +But thee, fair lady, to enrich, + Myself a prodigal I'll prove, +A vice not wholly shameful, which + May find its fair excuse in love. + +}poem + +In the same manner all the characters of the two bands advanced and +retired, and each executed its figures, and delivered its verses, some of +them graceful, some burlesque, but Don Quixote's memory (though he had an +excellent one) only carried away those that have been just quoted. All +then mingled together, forming chains and breaking off again with +graceful, unconstrained gaiety; and whenever Love passed in front of the +castle he shot his arrows up at it, while Interest broke gilded pellets +against it. At length, after they had danced a good while, Interest drew +out a great purse, made of the skin of a large brindled cat and to all +appearance full of money, and flung it at the castle, and with the force +of the blow the boards fell asunder and tumbled down, leaving the damsel +exposed and unprotected. Interest and the characters of his band +advanced, and throwing a great chain of gold over her neck pretended to +take her and lead her away captive, on seeing which, Love and his +supporters made as though they would release her, the whole action being +to the accompaniment of the tabors and in the form of a regular dance. +The wild men made peace between them, and with great dexterity readjusted +and fixed the boards of the castle, and the damsel once more ensconced +herself within; and with this the dance wound up, to the great enjoyment +of the beholders. + +Don Quixote asked one of the nymphs who it was that had composed and +arranged it. She replied that it was a beneficiary of the town who had a +nice taste in devising things of the sort. "I will lay a wager," said Don +Quixote, "that the same bachelor or beneficiary is a greater friend of +Camacho's than of Basilio's, and that he is better at satire than at +vespers; he has introduced the accomplishments of Basilio and the riches +of Camacho very neatly into the dance." Sancho Panza, who was listening +to all this, exclaimed, "The king is my cock; I stick to Camacho." "It is +easy to see thou art a clown, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "and one of that +sort that cry 'Long life to the conqueror.'" + +"I don't know of what sort I am," returned Sancho, "but I know very well +I'll never get such elegant skimmings off Basilio's pots as these I have +got off Camacho's;" and he showed him the bucketful of geese and hens, +and seizing one began to eat with great gaiety and appetite, saying, "A +fig for the accomplishments of Basilio! As much as thou hast so much art +thou worth, and as much as thou art worth so much hast thou. As a +grandmother of mine used to say, there are only two families in the +world, the Haves and the Haven'ts; and she stuck to the Haves; and to +this day, Senor Don Quixote, people would sooner feel the pulse of +'Have,' than of 'Know;' an ass covered with gold looks better than a +horse with a pack-saddle. So once more I say I stick to Camacho, the +bountiful skimmings of whose pots are geese and hens, hares and rabbits; +but of Basilio's, if any ever come to hand, or even to foot, they'll be +only rinsings." + +"Hast thou finished thy harangue, Sancho?" said Don Quixote. "Of course I +have finished it," replied Sancho, "because I see your worship takes +offence at it; but if it was not for that, there was work enough cut out +for three days." + +"God grant I may see thee dumb before I die, Sancho," said Don Quixote. + +"At the rate we are going," said Sancho, "I'll be chewing clay before +your worship dies; and then, maybe, I'll be so dumb that I'll not say a +word until the end of the world, or, at least, till the day of judgment." + +"Even should that happen, O Sancho," said Don Quixote, "thy silence will +never come up to all thou hast talked, art talking, and wilt talk all thy +life; moreover, it naturally stands to reason, that my death will come +before thine; so I never expect to see thee dumb, not even when thou art +drinking or sleeping, and that is the utmost I can say." + +"In good faith, senor," replied Sancho, "there's no trusting that +fleshless one, I mean Death, who devours the lamb as soon as the sheep, +and, as I have heard our curate say, treads with equal foot upon the +lofty towers of kings and the lowly huts of the poor. That lady is more +mighty than dainty, she is no way squeamish, she devours all and is ready +for all, and fills her alforjas with people of all sorts, ages, and +ranks. She is no reaper that sleeps out the noontide; at all times she is +reaping and cutting down, as well the dry grass as the green; she never +seems to chew, but bolts and swallows all that is put before her, for she +has a canine appetite that is never satisfied; and though she has no +belly, she shows she has a dropsy and is athirst to drink the lives of +all that live, as one would drink a jug of cold water." + +"Say no more, Sancho," said Don Quixote at this; "don't try to better it, +and risk a fall; for in truth what thou hast said about death in thy +rustic phrase is what a good preacher might have said. I tell thee, +Sancho, if thou hadst discretion equal to thy mother wit, thou mightst +take a pulpit in hand, and go about the world preaching fine sermons." +"He preaches well who lives well," said Sancho, "and I know no more +theology than that." + +"Nor needst thou," said Don Quixote, "but I cannot conceive or make out +how it is that, the fear of God being the beginning of wisdom, thou, who +art more afraid of a lizard than of him, knowest so much." + +"Pass judgment on your chivalries, senor," returned Sancho, "and don't +set yourself up to judge of other men's fears or braveries, for I am as +good a fearer of God as my neighbours; but leave me to despatch these +skimmings, for all the rest is only idle talk that we shall be called to +account for in the other world;" and so saying, he began a fresh attack +on the bucket, with such a hearty appetite that he aroused Don Quixote's, +who no doubt would have helped him had he not been prevented by what must +be told farther on. + +Chapter XXI. - +In which Camacho's wedding is continued, with other delightful incidents + +While Don Quixote and Sancho were engaged in the discussion set forth the +last chapter, they heard loud shouts and a great noise, which were +uttered and made by the men on the mares as they went at full gallop, +shouting, to receive the bride and bridegroom, who were approaching with +musical instruments and pageantry of all sorts around them, and +accompanied by the priest and the relatives of both, and all the most +distinguished people of the surrounding villages. When Sancho saw the +bride, he exclaimed, "By my faith, she is not dressed like a country +girl, but like some fine court lady; egad, as well as I can make out, the +patena she wears rich coral, and her green Cuenca stuff is thirty-pile +velvet; and then the white linen trimming--by my oath, but it's satin! +Look at her hands--jet rings on them! May I never have luck if they're +not gold rings, and real gold, and set with pearls as white as a curdled +milk, and every one of them worth an eye of one's head! Whoreson baggage, +what hair she has! if it's not a wig, I never saw longer or fairer all +the days of my life. See how bravely she bears herself--and her shape! +Wouldn't you say she was like a walking palm tree loaded with clusters of +dates? for the trinkets she has hanging from her hair and neck look just +like them. I swear in my heart she is a brave lass, and fit 'to pass over +the banks of Flanders.'" + +Don Quixote laughed at Sancho's boorish eulogies and thought that, saving +his lady Dulcinea del Toboso, he had never seen a more beautiful woman. +The fair Quiteria appeared somewhat pale, which was, no doubt, because of +the bad night brides always pass dressing themselves out for their +wedding on the morrow. They advanced towards a theatre that stood on one +side of the meadow decked with carpets and boughs, where they were to +plight their troth, and from which they were to behold the dances and +plays; but at the moment of their arrival at the spot they heard a loud +outcry behind them, and a voice exclaiming, "Wait a little, ye, as +inconsiderate as ye are hasty!" At these words all turned round, and +perceived that the speaker was a man clad in what seemed to be a loose +black coat garnished with crimson patches like flames. He was crowned (as +was presently seen) with a crown of gloomy cypress, and in his hand he +held a long staff. As he approached he was recognised by everyone as the +gay Basilio, and all waited anxiously to see what would come of his +words, in dread of some catastrophe in consequence of his appearance at +such a moment. He came up at last weary and breathless, and planting +himself in front of the bridal pair, drove his staff, which had a steel +spike at the end, into the ground, and, with a pale face and eyes fixed +on Quiteria, he thus addressed her in a hoarse, trembling voice: + +"Well dost thou know, ungrateful Quiteria, that according to the holy law +we acknowledge, so long as live thou canst take no husband; nor art thou +ignorant either that, in my hopes that time and my own exertions would +improve my fortunes, I have never failed to observe the respect due to +thy honour; but thou, casting behind thee all thou owest to my true love, +wouldst surrender what is mine to another whose wealth serves to bring +him not only good fortune but supreme happiness; and now to complete it +(not that I think he deserves it, but inasmuch as heaven is pleased to +bestow it upon him), I will, with my own hands, do away with the obstacle +that may interfere with it, and remove myself from between you. Long live +the rich Camacho! many a happy year may he live with the ungrateful +Quiteria! and let the poor Basilio die, Basilio whose poverty clipped the +wings of his happiness, and brought him to the grave!" + +And so saying, he seized the staff he had driven into the ground, and +leaving one half of it fixed there, showed it to be a sheath that +concealed a tolerably long rapier; and, what may be called its hilt being +planted in the ground, he swiftly, coolly, and deliberately threw himself +upon it, and in an instant the bloody point and half the steel blade +appeared at his back, the unhappy man falling to the earth bathed in his +blood, and transfixed by his own weapon. + +His friends at once ran to his aid, filled with grief at his misery and +sad fate, and Don Quixote, dismounting from Rocinante, hastened to +support him, and took him in his arms, and found he had not yet ceased to +breathe. They were about to draw out the rapier, but the priest who was +standing by objected to its being withdrawn before he had confessed him, +as the instant of its withdrawal would be that of this death. Basilio, +however, reviving slightly, said in a weak voice, as though in pain, "If +thou wouldst consent, cruel Quiteria, to give me thy hand as my bride in +this last fatal moment, I might still hope that my rashness would find +pardon, as by its means I attained the bliss of being thine." + +Hearing this the priest bade him think of the welfare of his soul rather +than of the cravings of the body, and in all earnestness implore God's +pardon for his sins and for his rash resolve; to which Basilio replied +that he was determined not to confess unless Quiteria first gave him her +hand in marriage, for that happiness would compose his mind and give him +courage to make his confession. + +Don Quixote hearing the wounded man's entreaty, exclaimed aloud that what +Basilio asked was just and reasonable, and moreover a request that might +be easily complied with; and that it would be as much to Senor Camacho's +honour to receive the lady Quiteria as the widow of the brave Basilio as +if he received her direct from her father. + +"In this case," said he, "it will be only to say 'yes,' and no +consequences can follow the utterance of the word, for the nuptial couch +of this marriage must be the grave." + +Camacho was listening to all this, perplexed and bewildered and not +knowing what to say or do; but so urgent were the entreaties of Basilio's +friends, imploring him to allow Quiteria to give him her hand, so that +his soul, quitting this life in despair, should not be lost, that they +moved, nay, forced him, to say that if Quiteria were willing to give it +he was satisfied, as it was only putting off the fulfillment of his +wishes for a moment. At once all assailed Quiteria and pressed her, some +with prayers, and others with tears, and others with persuasive +arguments, to give her hand to poor Basilio; but she, harder than marble +and more unmoved than any statue, seemed unable or unwilling to utter a +word, nor would she have given any reply had not the priest bade her +decide quickly what she meant to do, as Basilio now had his soul at his +teeth, and there was no time for hesitation. + +On this the fair Quiteria, to all appearance distressed, grieved, and +repentant, advanced without a word to where Basilio lay, his eyes already +turned in his head, his breathing short and painful, murmuring the name +of Quiteria between his teeth, and apparently about to die like a heathen +and not like a Christian. Quiteria approached him, and kneeling, demanded +his hand by signs without speaking. Basilio opened his eyes and gazing +fixedly at her, said, "O Quiteria, why hast thou turned compassionate at +a moment when thy compassion will serve as a dagger to rob me of life, +for I have not now the strength left either to bear the happiness thou +givest me in accepting me as thine, or to suppress the pain that is +rapidly drawing the dread shadow of death over my eyes? What I entreat of +thee, O thou fatal star to me, is that the hand thou demandest of me and +wouldst give me, be not given out of complaisance or to deceive me +afresh, but that thou confess and declare that without any constraint +upon thy will thou givest it to me as to thy lawful husband; for it is +not meet that thou shouldst trifle with me at such a moment as this, or +have recourse to falsehoods with one who has dealt so truly by thee." + +While uttering these words he showed such weakness that the bystanders +expected each return of faintness would take his life with it. Then +Quiteria, overcome with modesty and shame, holding in her right hand the +hand of Basilio, said, "No force would bend my will; as freely, +therefore, as it is possible for me to do so, I give thee the hand of a +lawful wife, and take thine if thou givest it to me of thine own free +will, untroubled and unaffected by the calamity thy hasty act has brought +upon thee." + +"Yes, I give it," said Basilio, "not agitated or distracted, but with +unclouded reason that heaven is pleased to grant me, thus do I give +myself to be thy husband." + +"And I give myself to be thy wife," said Quiteria, "whether thou livest +many years, or they carry thee from my arms to the grave." + +"For one so badly wounded," observed Sancho at this point, "this young +man has a great deal to say; they should make him leave off billing and +cooing, and attend to his soul; for to my thinking he has it more on his +tongue than at his teeth." + +Basilio and Quiteria having thus joined hands, the priest, deeply moved +and with tears in his eyes, pronounced the blessing upon them, and +implored heaven to grant an easy passage to the soul of the newly wedded +man, who, the instant he received the blessing, started nimbly to his +feet and with unparalleled effrontery pulled out the rapier that had been +sheathed in his body. All the bystanders were astounded, and some, more +simple than inquiring, began shouting, "A miracle, a miracle!" But +Basilio replied, "No miracle, no miracle; only a trick, a trick!" The +priest, perplexed and amazed, made haste to examine the wound with both +hands, and found that the blade had passed, not through Basilio's flesh +and ribs, but through a hollow iron tube full of blood, which he had +adroitly fixed at the place, the blood, as was afterwards ascertained, +having been so prepared as not to congeal. In short, the priest and +Camacho and most of those present saw they were tricked and made fools +of. The bride showed no signs of displeasure at the deception; on the +contrary, hearing them say that the marriage, being fraudulent, would not +be valid, she said that she confirmed it afresh, whence they all +concluded that the affair had been planned by agreement and understanding +between the pair, whereat Camacho and his supporters were so mortified +that they proceeded to revenge themselves by violence, and a great number +of them drawing their swords attacked Basilio, in whose protection as +many more swords were in an instant unsheathed, while Don Quixote taking +the lead on horseback, with his lance over his arm and well covered with +his shield, made all give way before him. Sancho, who never found any +pleasure or enjoyment in such doings, retreated to the wine-jars from +which he had taken his delectable skimmings, considering that, as a holy +place, that spot would be respected. + +"Hold, sirs, hold!" cried Don Quixote in a loud voice; "we have no right +to take vengeance for wrongs that love may do to us: remember love and +war are the same thing, and as in war it is allowable and common to make +use of wiles and stratagems to overcome the enemy, so in the contests and +rivalries of love the tricks and devices employed to attain the desired +end are justifiable, provided they be not to the discredit or dishonour +of the loved object. Quiteria belonged to Basilio and Basilio to Quiteria +by the just and beneficent disposal of heaven. Camacho is rich, and can +purchase his pleasure when, where, and as it pleases him. Basilio has but +this ewe-lamb, and no one, however powerful he may be, shall take her +from him; these two whom God hath joined man cannot separate; and he who +attempts it must first pass the point of this lance;" and so saying he +brandished it so stoutly and dexterously that he overawed all who did not +know him. + +But so deep an impression had the rejection of Quiteria made on Camacho's +mind that it banished her at once from his thoughts; and so the counsels +of the priest, who was a wise and kindly disposed man, prevailed with +him, and by their means he and his partisans were pacified and +tranquillised, and to prove it put up their swords again, inveighing +against the pliancy of Quiteria rather than the craftiness of Basilio; +Camacho maintaining that, if Quiteria as a maiden had such a love for +Basilio, she would have loved him too as a married woman, and that he +ought to thank heaven more for having taken her than for having given +her. + +Camacho and those of his following, therefore, being consoled and +pacified, those on Basilio's side were appeased; and the rich Camacho, to +show that he felt no resentment for the trick, and did not care about it, +desired the festival to go on just as if he were married in reality. +Neither Basilio, however, nor his bride, nor their followers would take +any part in it, and they withdrew to Basilio's village; for the poor, if +they are persons of virtue and good sense, have those who follow, honour, +and uphold them, just as the rich have those who flatter and dance +attendance on them. With them they carried Don Quixote, regarding him as +a man of worth and a stout one. Sancho alone had a cloud on his soul, for +he found himself debarred from waiting for Camacho's splendid feast and +festival, which lasted until night; and thus dragged away, he moodily +followed his master, who accompanied Basilio's party, and left behind him +the flesh-pots of Egypt; though in his heart he took them with him, and +their now nearly finished skimmings that he carried in the bucket +conjured up visions before his eyes of the glory and abundance of the +good cheer he was losing. And so, vexed and dejected though not hungry, +without dismounting from Dapple he followed in the footsteps of +Rocinante. + +Chapter XXII. - +Wherin is related the grand adventure of the cave of montesinos in the +heart of La Mancha, which the valiant Don Quixote brought to a happy +termination + +Many and great were the attentions shown to Don Quixote by the newly +married couple, who felt themselves under an obligation to him for coming +forward in defence of their cause; and they exalted his wisdom to the +same level with his courage, rating him as a Cid in arms, and a Cicero in +eloquence. Worthy Sancho enjoyed himself for three days at the expense of +the pair, from whom they learned that the sham wound was not a scheme +arranged with the fair Quiteria, but a device of Basilio's, who counted +on exactly the result they had seen; he confessed, it is true, that he +had confided his idea to some of his friends, so that at the proper time +they might aid him in his purpose and insure the success of the +deception. + +"That," said Don Quixote, "is not and ought not to be called deception +which aims at virtuous ends;" and the marriage of lovers he maintained to +be a most excellent end, reminding them, however, that love has no +greater enemy than hunger and constant want; for love is all gaiety, +enjoyment, and happiness, especially when the lover is in the possession +of the object of his love, and poverty and want are the declared enemies +of all these; which he said to urge Senor Basilio to abandon the practice +of those accomplishments he was skilled in, for though they brought him +fame, they brought him no money, and apply himself to the acquisition of +wealth by legitimate industry, which will never fail those who are +prudent and persevering. The poor man who is a man of honour (if indeed a +poor man can be a man of honour) has a jewel when he has a fair wife, and +if she is taken from him, his honour is taken from him and slain. The +fair woman who is a woman of honour, and whose husband is poor, deserves +to be crowned with the laurels and crowns of victory and triumph. Beauty +by itself attracts the desires of all who behold it, and the royal eagles +and birds of towering flight stoop on it as on a dainty lure; but if +beauty be accompanied by want and penury, then the ravens and the kites +and other birds of prey assail it, and she who stands firm against such +attacks well deserves to be called the crown of her husband. "Remember, O +prudent Basilio," added Don Quixote, "it was the opinion of a certain +sage, I know not whom, that there was not more than one good woman in the +whole world; and his advice was that each one should think and believe +that this one good woman was his own wife, and in this way he would live +happy. I myself am not married, nor, so far, has it ever entered my +thoughts to be so; nevertheless I would venture to give advice to anyone +who might ask it, as to the mode in which he should seek a wife such as +he would be content to marry. The first thing I would recommend him, +would be to look to good name rather than to wealth, for a good woman +does not win a good name merely by being good, but by letting it be seen +that she is so, and open looseness and freedom do much more damage to a +woman's honour than secret depravity. If you take a good woman into your +house it will be an easy matter to keep her good, and even to make her +still better; but if you take a bad one you will find it hard work to +mend her, for it is no very easy matter to pass from one extreme to +another. I do not say it is impossible, but I look upon it as difficult." + +Sancho, listening to all this, said to himself, "This master of mine, +when I say anything that has weight and substance, says I might take a +pulpit in hand, and go about the world preaching fine sermons; but I say +of him that, when he begins stringing maxims together and giving advice +not only might he take a pulpit in hand, but two on each finger, and go +into the market-places to his heart's content. Devil take you for a +knight-errant, what a lot of things you know! I used to think in my heart +that the only thing he knew was what belonged to his chivalry; but there +is nothing he won't have a finger in." + +Sancho muttered this somewhat aloud, and his master overheard him, and +asked, "What art thou muttering there, Sancho?" + +"I'm not saying anything or muttering anything," said Sancho; "I was only +saying to myself that I wish I had heard what your worship has said just +now before I married; perhaps I'd say now, 'The ox that's loose licks +himself well.'" + +"Is thy Teresa so bad then, Sancho?" + +"She is not very bad," replied Sancho; "but she is not very good; at +least she is not as good as I could wish." + +"Thou dost wrong, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "to speak ill of thy wife; +for after all she is the mother of thy children." "We are quits," +returned Sancho; "for she speaks ill of me whenever she takes it into her +head, especially when she is jealous; and Satan himself could not put up +with her then." + +In fine, they remained three days with the newly married couple, by whom +they were entertained and treated like kings. Don Quixote begged the +fencing licentiate to find him a guide to show him the way to the cave of +Montesinos, as he had a great desire to enter it and see with his own +eyes if the wonderful tales that were told of it all over the country +were true. The licentiate said he would get him a cousin of his own, a +famous scholar, and one very much given to reading books of chivalry, who +would have great pleasure in conducting him to the mouth of the very +cave, and would show him the lakes of Ruidera, which were likewise famous +all over La Mancha, and even all over Spain; and he assured him he would +find him entertaining, for he was a youth who could write books good +enough to be printed and dedicated to princes. The cousin arrived at +last, leading an ass in foal, with a pack-saddle covered with a +parti-coloured carpet or sackcloth; Sancho saddled Rocinante, got Dapple +ready, and stocked his alforjas, along with which went those of the +cousin, likewise well filled; and so, commending themselves to God and +bidding farewell to all, they set out, taking the road for the famous +cave of Montesinos. + +On the way Don Quixote asked the cousin of what sort and character his +pursuits, avocations, and studies were, to which he replied that he was +by profession a humanist, and that his pursuits and studies were making +books for the press, all of great utility and no less entertainment to +the nation. One was called "The Book of Liveries," in which he described +seven hundred and three liveries, with their colours, mottoes, and +ciphers, from which gentlemen of the court might pick and choose any they +fancied for festivals and revels, without having to go a-begging for them +from anyone, or puzzling their brains, as the saying is, to have them +appropriate to their objects and purposes; "for," said he, "I give the +jealous, the rejected, the forgotten, the absent, what will suit them, +and fit them without fail. I have another book, too, which I shall call +'Metamorphoses, or the Spanish Ovid,' one of rare and original invention, +for imitating Ovid in burlesque style, I show in it who the Giralda of +Seville and the Angel of the Magdalena were, what the sewer of +Vecinguerra at Cordova was, what the bulls of Guisando, the Sierra +Morena, the Leganitos and Lavapies fountains at Madrid, not forgetting +those of the Piojo, of the Cano Dorado, and of the Priora; and all with +their allegories, metaphors, and changes, so that they are amusing, +interesting, and instructive, all at once. Another book I have which I +call 'The Supplement to Polydore Vergil,' which treats of the invention +of things, and is a work of great erudition and research, for I establish +and elucidate elegantly some things of great importance which Polydore +omitted to mention. He forgot to tell us who was the first man in the +world that had a cold in his head, and who was the first to try +salivation for the French disease, but I give it accurately set forth, +and quote more than five-and-twenty authors in proof of it, so you may +perceive I have laboured to good purpose and that the book will be of +service to the whole world." + +Sancho, who had been very attentive to the cousin's words, said to him, +"Tell me, senor--and God give you luck in printing your books-can you +tell me (for of course you know, as you know everything) who was the +first man that scratched his head? For to my thinking it must have been +our father Adam." + +"So it must," replied the cousin; "for there is no doubt but Adam had a +head and hair; and being the first man in the world he would have +scratched himself sometimes." + +"So I think," said Sancho; "but now tell me, who was the first tumbler in +the world?" + +"Really, brother," answered the cousin, "I could not at this moment say +positively without having investigated it; I will look it up when I go +back to where I have my books, and will satisfy you the next time we +meet, for this will not be the last time." + +"Look here, senor," said Sancho, "don't give yourself any trouble about +it, for I have just this minute hit upon what I asked you. The first +tumbler in the world, you must know, was Lucifer, when they cast or +pitched him out of heaven; for he came tumbling into the bottomless pit." + +"You are right, friend," said the cousin; and said Don Quixote, "Sancho, +that question and answer are not thine own; thou hast heard them from +some one else." + +"Hold your peace, senor," said Sancho; "faith, if I take to asking +questions and answering, I'll go on from this till to-morrow morning. +Nay! to ask foolish things and answer nonsense I needn't go looking for +help from my neighbours." + +"Thou hast said more than thou art aware of, Sancho," said Don Quixote; +"for there are some who weary themselves out in learning and proving +things that, after they are known and proved, are not worth a farthing to +the understanding or memory." + +In this and other pleasant conversation the day went by, and that night +they put up at a small hamlet whence it was not more than two leagues to +the cave of Montesinos, so the cousin told Don Quixote, adding, that if +he was bent upon entering it, it would be requisite for him to provide +himself with ropes, so that he might be tied and lowered into its depths. +Don Quixote said that even if it reached to the bottomless pit he meant +to see where it went to; so they bought about a hundred fathoms of rope, +and next day at two in the afternoon they arrived at the cave, the mouth +of which is spacious and wide, but full of thorn and wild-fig bushes and +brambles and briars, so thick and matted that they completely close it up +and cover it over. + +On coming within sight of it the cousin, Sancho, and Don Quixote +dismounted, and the first two immediately tied the latter very firmly +with the ropes, and as they were girding and swathing him Sancho said to +him, "Mind what you are about, master mine; don't go burying yourself +alive, or putting yourself where you'll be like a bottle put to cool in a +well; it's no affair or business of your worship's to become the explorer +of this, which must be worse than a Moorish dungeon." + +"Tie me and hold thy peace," said Don Quixote, "for an emprise like this, +friend Sancho, was reserved for me;" and said the guide, "I beg of you, +Senor Don Quixote, to observe carefully and examine with a hundred eyes +everything that is within there; perhaps there may be some things for me +to put into my book of 'Transformations.'" + +"The drum is in hands that will know how to beat it well enough," said +Sancho Panza. + +When he had said this and finished the tying (which was not over the +armour but only over the doublet) Don Quixote observed, "It was careless +of us not to have provided ourselves with a small cattle-bell to be tied +on the rope close to me, the sound of which would show that I was still +descending and alive; but as that is out of the question now, in God's +hand be it to guide me;" and forthwith he fell on his knees and in a low +voice offered up a prayer to heaven, imploring God to aid him and grant +him success in this to all appearance perilous and untried adventure, and +then exclaimed aloud, "O mistress of my actions and movements, +illustrious and peerless Dulcinea del Toboso, if so be the prayers and +supplications of this fortunate lover can reach thy ears, by thy +incomparable beauty I entreat thee to listen to them, for they but ask +thee not to refuse me thy favour and protection now that I stand in such +need of them. I am about to precipitate, to sink, to plunge myself into +the abyss that is here before me, only to let the world know that while +thou dost favour me there is no impossibility I will not attempt and +accomplish." With these words he approached the cavern, and perceived +that it was impossible to let himself down or effect an entrance except +by sheer force or cleaving a passage; so drawing his sword he began to +demolish and cut away the brambles at the mouth of the cave, at the noise +of which a vast multitude of crows and choughs flew out of it so thick +and so fast that they knocked Don Quixote down; and if he had been as +much of a believer in augury as he was a Catholic Christian he would have +taken it as a bad omen and declined to bury himself in such a place. He +got up, however, and as there came no more crows, or night-birds like the +bats that flew out at the same time with the crows, the cousin and Sancho +giving him rope, he lowered himself into the depths of the dread cavern; +and as he entered it Sancho sent his blessing after him, making a +thousand crosses over him and saying, "God, and the Pena de Francia, and +the Trinity of Gaeta guide thee, flower and cream of knights-errant. +There thou goest, thou dare-devil of the earth, heart of steel, arm of +brass; once more, God guide thee and send thee back safe, sound, and +unhurt to the light of this world thou art leaving to bury thyself in the +darkness thou art seeking there;" and the cousin offered up almost the +same prayers and supplications. + +Don Quixote kept calling to them to give him rope and more rope, and they +gave it out little by little, and by the time the calls, which came out +of the cave as out of a pipe, ceased to be heard they had let down the +hundred fathoms of rope. They were inclined to pull Don Quixote up again, +as they could give him no more rope; however, they waited about half an +hour, at the end of which time they began to gather in the rope again +with great ease and without feeling any weight, which made them fancy Don +Quixote was remaining below; and persuaded that it was so, Sancho wept +bitterly, and hauled away in great haste in order to settle the question. +When, however, they had come to, as it seemed, rather more than eighty +fathoms they felt a weight, at which they were greatly delighted; and at +last, at ten fathoms more, they saw Don Quixote distinctly, and Sancho +called out to him, saying, "Welcome back, senor, for we had begun to +think you were going to stop there to found a family." But Don Quixote +answered not a word, and drawing him out entirely they perceived he had +his eyes shut and every appearance of being fast asleep. + +They stretched him on the ground and untied him, but still he did not +awake; however, they rolled him back and forwards and shook and pulled +him about, so that after some time he came to himself, stretching himself +just as if he were waking up from a deep and sound sleep, and looking +about him he said, "God forgive you, friends; ye have taken me away from +the sweetest and most delightful existence and spectacle that ever human +being enjoyed or beheld. Now indeed do I know that all the pleasures of +this life pass away like a shadow and a dream, or fade like the flower of +the field. O ill-fated Montesinos! O sore-wounded Durandarte! O unhappy +Belerma! O tearful Guadiana, and ye O hapless daughters of Ruidera who +show in your waves the tears that flowed from your beauteous eyes!" + +The cousin and Sancho Panza listened with deep attention to the words of +Don Quixote, who uttered them as though with immense pain he drew them up +from his very bowels. They begged of him to explain himself, and tell +them what he had seen in that hell down there. + +"Hell do you call it?" said Don Quixote; "call it by no such name, for it +does not deserve it, as ye shall soon see." + +He then begged them to give him something to eat, as he was very hungry. +They spread the cousin's sackcloth on the grass, and put the stores of +the alforjas into requisition, and all three sitting down lovingly and +sociably, they made a luncheon and a supper of it all in one; and when +the sackcloth was removed, Don Quixote of La Mancha said, "Let no one +rise, and attend to me, my sons, both of you." + +Chapter XXIII. - +Of the wonderful things the incomparable Don Quixote said he saw in the +profound cave of Montesinos, the impossibility and magnitude of which +cause this adventure to be deemed apocryphal + +It was about four in the afternoon when the sun, veiled in clouds, with +subdued light and tempered beams, enabled Don Quixote to relate, without +heat or inconvenience, what he had seen in the cave of Montesinos to his +two illustrious hearers, and he began as follows: + +"A matter of some twelve or fourteen times a man's height down in this +pit, on the right-hand side, there is a recess or space, roomy enough to +contain a large cart with its mules. A little light reaches it through +some chinks or crevices, communicating with it and open to the surface of +the earth. This recess or space I perceived when I was already growing +weary and disgusted at finding myself hanging suspended by the rope, +travelling downwards into that dark region without any certainty or +knowledge of where I was going, so I resolved to enter it and rest myself +for a while. I called out, telling you not to let out more rope until I +bade you, but you cannot have heard me. I then gathered in the rope you +were sending me, and making a coil or pile of it I seated myself upon it, +ruminating and considering what I was to do to lower myself to the +bottom, having no one to hold me up; and as I was thus deep in thought +and perplexity, suddenly and without provocation a profound sleep fell +upon me, and when I least expected it, I know not how, I awoke and found +myself in the midst of the most beautiful, delightful meadow that nature +could produce or the most lively human imagination conceive. I opened my +eyes, I rubbed them, and found I was not asleep but thoroughly awake. +Nevertheless, I felt my head and breast to satisfy myself whether it was +I myself who was there or some empty delusive phantom; but touch, +feeling, the collected thoughts that passed through my mind, all +convinced me that I was the same then and there that I am this moment. +Next there presented itself to my sight a stately royal palace or castle, +with walls that seemed built of clear transparent crystal; and through +two great doors that opened wide therein, I saw coming forth and +advancing towards me a venerable old man, clad in a long gown of +mulberry-coloured serge that trailed upon the ground. On his shoulders +and breast he had a green satin collegiate hood, and covering his head a +black Milanese bonnet, and his snow-white beard fell below his girdle. He +carried no arms whatever, nothing but a rosary of beads bigger than +fair-sized filberts, each tenth bead being like a moderate ostrich egg; +his bearing, his gait, his dignity and imposing presence held me +spellbound and wondering. He approached me, and the first thing he did +was to embrace me closely, and then he said to me, 'For a long time now, +O valiant knight Don Quixote of La Mancha, we who are here enchanted in +these solitudes have been hoping to see thee, that thou mayest make known +to the world what is shut up and concealed in this deep cave, called the +cave of Montesinos, which thou hast entered, an achievement reserved for +thy invincible heart and stupendous courage alone to attempt. Come with +me, illustrious sir, and I will show thee the marvels hidden within this +transparent castle, whereof I am the alcaide and perpetual warden; for I +am Montesinos himself, from whom the cave takes its name.' + +"The instant he told me he was Montesinos, I asked him if the story they +told in the world above here was true, that he had taken out the heart of +his great friend Durandarte from his breast with a little dagger, and +carried it to the lady Belerma, as his friend when at the point of death +had commanded him. He said in reply that they spoke the truth in every +respect except as to the dagger, for it was not a dagger, nor little, but +a burnished poniard sharper than an awl." + +"That poniard must have been made by Ramon de Hoces the Sevillian," said +Sancho. + +"I do not know," said Don Quixote; "it could not have been by that +poniard maker, however, because Ramon de Hoces was a man of yesterday, +and the affair of Roncesvalles, where this mishap occurred, was long ago; +but the question is of no great importance, nor does it affect or make +any alteration in the truth or substance of the story." + +"That is true," said the cousin; "continue, Senor Don Quixote, for I am +listening to you with the greatest pleasure in the world." + +"And with no less do I tell the tale," said Don Quixote; "and so, to +proceed--the venerable Montesinos led me into the palace of crystal, +where, in a lower chamber, strangely cool and entirely of alabaster, was +an elaborately wrought marble tomb, upon which I beheld, stretched at +full length, a knight, not of bronze, or marble, or jasper, as are seen +on other tombs, but of actual flesh and bone. His right hand (which +seemed to me somewhat hairy and sinewy, a sign of great strength in its +owner) lay on the side of his heart; but before I could put any question +to Montesinos, he, seeing me gazing at the tomb in amazement, said to me, +'This is my friend Durandarte, flower and mirror of the true lovers and +valiant knights of his time. He is held enchanted here, as I myself and +many others are, by that French enchanter Merlin, who, they say, was the +devil's son; but my belief is, not that he was the devil's son, but that +he knew, as the saying is, a point more than the devil. How or why he +enchanted us, no one knows, but time will tell, and I suspect that time +is not far off. What I marvel at is, that I know it to be as sure as that +it is now day, that Durandarte ended his life in my arms, and that, after +his death, I took out his heart with my own hands; and indeed it must +have weighed more than two pounds, for, according to naturalists, he who +has a large heart is more largely endowed with valour than he who has a +small one. Then, as this is the case, and as the knight did really die, +how comes it that he now moans and sighs from time to time, as if he were +still alive?' + +"As he said this, the wretched Durandarte cried out in a loud voice: + +poem{ + +O cousin Montesinos! + 'T was my last request of thee, +When my soul hath left the body, + And that lying dead I be, +With thy poniard or thy dagger + Cut the heart from out my breast, +And bear it to Belerma. + This was my last request." + +}poem + +On hearing which, the venerable Montesinos fell on his knees before the +unhappy knight, and with tearful eyes exclaimed, 'Long since, Senor +Durandarte, my beloved cousin, long since have I done what you bade me on +that sad day when I lost you; I took out your heart as well as I could, +not leaving an atom of it in your breast, I wiped it with a lace +handkerchief, and I took the road to France with it, having first laid +you in the bosom of the earth with tears enough to wash and cleanse my +hands of the blood that covered them after wandering among your bowels; +and more by token, O cousin of my soul, at the first village I came to +after leaving Roncesvalles, I sprinkled a little salt upon your heart to +keep it sweet, and bring it, if not fresh, at least pickled, into the +presence of the lady Belerma, whom, together with you, myself, Guadiana +your squire, the duenna Ruidera and her seven daughters and two nieces, +and many more of your friends and acquaintances, the sage Merlin has been +keeping enchanted here these many years; and although more than five +hundred have gone by, not one of us has died; Ruidera and her daughters +and nieces alone are missing, and these, because of the tears they shed, +Merlin, out of the compassion he seems to have felt for them, changed +into so many lakes, which to this day in the world of the living, and in +the province of La Mancha, are called the Lakes of Ruidera. The seven +daughters belong to the kings of Spain and the two nieces to the knights +of a very holy order called the Order of St. John. Guadiana your squire, +likewise bewailing your fate, was changed into a river of his own name, +but when he came to the surface and beheld the sun of another heaven, so +great was his grief at finding he was leaving you, that he plunged into +the bowels of the earth; however, as he cannot help following his natural +course, he from time to time comes forth and shows himself to the sun and +the world. The lakes aforesaid send him their waters, and with these, and +others that come to him, he makes a grand and imposing entrance into +Portugal; but for all that, go where he may, he shows his melancholy and +sadness, and takes no pride in breeding dainty choice fish, only coarse +and tasteless sorts, very different from those of the golden Tagus. All +this that I tell you now, O cousin mine, I have told you many times +before, and as you make no answer, I fear that either you believe me not, +or do not hear me, whereat I feel God knows what grief. I have now news +to give you, which, if it serves not to alleviate your sufferings, will +not in any wise increase them. Know that you have here before you (open +your eyes and you will see) that great knight of whom the sage Merlin has +prophesied such great things; that Don Quixote of La Mancha I mean, who +has again, and to better purpose than in past times, revived in these +days knight-errantry, long since forgotten, and by whose intervention and +aid it may be we shall be disenchanted; for great deeds are reserved for +great men.' + +"'And if that may not be,' said the wretched Durandarte in a low and +feeble voice, 'if that may not be, then, my cousin, I say "patience and +shuffle;"' and turning over on his side, he relapsed into his former +silence without uttering another word. + +"And now there was heard a great outcry and lamentation, accompanied by +deep sighs and bitter sobs. I looked round, and through the crystal wall +I saw passing through another chamber a procession of two lines of fair +damsels all clad in mourning, and with white turbans of Turkish fashion +on their heads. Behind, in the rear of these, there came a lady, for so +from her dignity she seemed to be, also clad in black, with a white veil +so long and ample that it swept the ground. Her turban was twice as large +as the largest of any of the others; her eyebrows met, her nose was +rather flat, her mouth was large but with ruddy lips, and her teeth, of +which at times she allowed a glimpse, were seen to be sparse and ill-set, +though as white as peeled almonds. She carried in her hands a fine cloth, +and in it, as well as I could make out, a heart that had been mummied, so +parched and dried was it. Montesinos told me that all those forming the +procession were the attendants of Durandarte and Belerma, who were +enchanted there with their master and mistress, and that the last, she +who carried the heart in the cloth, was the lady Belerma, who, with her +damsels, four days in the week went in procession singing, or rather +weeping, dirges over the body and miserable heart of his cousin; and that +if she appeared to me somewhat ill-favoured or not so beautiful as fame +reported her, it was because of the bad nights and worse days that she +passed in that enchantment, as I could see by the great dark circles +round her eyes, and her sickly complexion; 'her sallowness, and the rings +round her eyes,' said he, 'are not caused by the periodical ailment usual +with women, for it is many months and even years since she has had any, +but by the grief her own heart suffers because of that which she holds in +her hand perpetually, and which recalls and brings back to her memory the +sad fate of her lost lover; were it not for this, hardly would the great +Dulcinea del Toboso, so celebrated in all these parts, and even in the +world, come up to her for beauty, grace, and gaiety.' + +"'Hold hard!' said I at this, 'tell your story as you ought, Senor Don +Montesinos, for you know very well that all comparisons are odious, and +there is no occasion to compare one person with another; the peerless +Dulcinea del Toboso is what she is, and the lady Dona Belerma is what she +is and has been, and that's enough.' To which he made answer, 'Forgive +me, Senor Don Quixote; I own I was wrong and spoke unadvisedly in saying +that the lady Dulcinea could scarcely come up to the lady Belerma; for it +were enough for me to have learned, by what means I know not, that you +are her knight, to make me bite my tongue out before I compared her to +anything save heaven itself.' After this apology which the great +Montesinos made me, my heart recovered itself from the shock I had +received in hearing my lady compared with Belerma." + +"Still I wonder," said Sancho, "that your worship did not get upon the +old fellow and bruise every bone of him with kicks, and pluck his beard +until you didn't leave a hair in it." + +"Nay, Sancho, my friend," said Don Quixote, "it would not have been right +in me to do that, for we are all bound to pay respect to the aged, even +though they be not knights, but especially to those who are, and who are +enchanted; I only know I gave him as good as he brought in the many other +questions and answers we exchanged." + +"I cannot understand, Senor Don Quixote," remarked the cousin here, "how +it is that your worship, in such a short space of time as you have been +below there, could have seen so many things, and said and answered so +much." + +"How long is it since I went down?" asked Don Quixote. + +"Little better than an hour," replied Sancho. + +"That cannot be," returned Don Quixote, "because night overtook me while +I was there, and day came, and it was night again and day again three +times; so that, by my reckoning, I have been three days in those remote +regions beyond our ken." + +"My master must be right," replied Sancho; "for as everything that has +happened to him is by enchantment, maybe what seems to us an hour would +seem three days and nights there." + +"That's it," said Don Quixote. + +"And did your worship eat anything all that time, senor?" asked the +cousin. + +"I never touched a morsel," answered Don Quixote, "nor did I feel hunger, +or think of it." + +"And do the enchanted eat?" said the cousin. + +"They neither eat," said Don Quixote; "nor are they subject to the +greater excrements, though it is thought that their nails, beards, and +hair grow." + +"And do the enchanted sleep, now, senor?" asked Sancho. + +"Certainly not," replied Don Quixote; "at least, during those three days +I was with them not one of them closed an eye, nor did I either." + +"The proverb, 'Tell me what company thou keepest and I'll tell thee what +thou art,' is to the point here," said Sancho; "your worship keeps +company with enchanted people that are always fasting and watching; what +wonder is it, then, that you neither eat nor sleep while you are with +them? But forgive me, senor, if I say that of all this you have told us +now, may God take me--I was just going to say the devil--if I believe a +single particle." + +"What!" said the cousin, "has Senor Don Quixote, then, been lying? Why, +even if he wished it he has not had time to imagine and put together such +a host of lies." + +"I don't believe my master lies," said Sancho. + +"If not, what dost thou believe?" asked Don Quixote. + +"I believe," replied Sancho, "that this Merlin, or those enchanters who +enchanted the whole crew your worship says you saw and discoursed with +down there, stuffed your imagination or your mind with all this rigmarole +you have been treating us to, and all that is still to come." + +"All that might be, Sancho," replied Don Quixote; "but it is not so, for +everything that I have told you I saw with my own eyes, and touched with +my own hands. But what will you say when I tell you now how, among the +countless other marvellous things Montesinos showed me (of which at +leisure and at the proper time I will give thee an account in the course +of our journey, for they would not be all in place here), he showed me +three country girls who went skipping and capering like goats over the +pleasant fields there, and the instant I beheld them I knew one to be the +peerless Dulcinea del Toboso, and the other two those same country girls +that were with her and that we spoke to on the road from El Toboso! I +asked Montesinos if he knew them, and he told me he did not, but he +thought they must be some enchanted ladies of distinction, for it was +only a few days before that they had made their appearance in those +meadows; but I was not to be surprised at that, because there were a +great many other ladies there of times past and present, enchanted in +various strange shapes, and among them he had recognised Queen Guinevere +and her dame Quintanona, she who poured out the wine for Lancelot when he +came from Britain." + +When Sancho Panza heard his master say this he was ready to take leave of +his senses, or die with laughter; for, as he knew the real truth about +the pretended enchantment of Dulcinea, in which he himself had been the +enchanter and concocter of all the evidence, he made up his mind at last +that, beyond all doubt, his master was out of his wits and stark mad, so +he said to him, "It was an evil hour, a worse season, and a sorrowful +day, when your worship, dear master mine, went down to the other world, +and an unlucky moment when you met with Senor Montesinos, who has sent +you back to us like this. You were well enough here above in your full +senses, such as God had given you, delivering maxims and giving advice at +every turn, and not as you are now, talking the greatest nonsense that +can be imagined." + +"As I know thee, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "I heed not thy words." + +"Nor I your worship's," said Sancho, "whether you beat me or kill me for +those I have spoken, and will speak if you don't correct and mend your +own. But tell me, while we are still at peace, how or by what did you +recognise the lady our mistress; and if you spoke to her, what did you +say, and what did she answer?" + +"I recognised her," said Don Quixote, "by her wearing the same garments +she wore when thou didst point her out to me. I spoke to her, but she did +not utter a word in reply; on the contrary, she turned her back on me and +took to flight, at such a pace that crossbow bolt could not have +overtaken her. I wished to follow her, and would have done so had not +Montesinos recommended me not to take the trouble as it would be useless, +particularly as the time was drawing near when it would be necessary for +me to quit the cavern. He told me, moreover, that in course of time he +would let me know how he and Belerma, and Durandarte, and all who were +there, were to be disenchanted. But of all I saw and observed down there, +what gave me most pain was, that while Montesinos was speaking to me, one +of the two companions of the hapless Dulcinea approached me on one +without my having seen her coming, and with tears in her eyes said to me, +in a low, agitated voice, 'My lady Dulcinea del Toboso kisses your +worship's hands, and entreats you to do her the favour of letting her +know how you are; and, being in great need, she also entreats your +worship as earnestly as she can to be so good as to lend her half a dozen +reals, or as much as you may have about you, on this new dimity petticoat +that I have here; and she promises to repay them very speedily.' I was +amazed and taken aback by such a message, and turning to Senor Montesinos +I asked him, 'Is it possible, Senor Montesinos, that persons of +distinction under enchantment can be in need?' To which he replied, +'Believe me, Senor Don Quixote, that which is called need is to be met +with everywhere, and penetrates all quarters and reaches everyone, and +does not spare even the enchanted; and as the lady Dulcinea del Toboso +sends to beg those six reals, and the pledge is to all appearance a good +one, there is nothing for it but to give them to her, for no doubt she +must be in some great strait.' 'I will take no pledge of her,' I replied, +'nor yet can I give her what she asks, for all I have is four reals; +which I gave (they were those which thou, Sancho, gavest me the other day +to bestow in alms upon the poor I met along the road), and I said, 'Tell +your mistress, my dear, that I am grieved to the heart because of her +distresses, and wish I was a Fucar to remedy them, and that I would have +her know that I cannot be, and ought not be, in health while deprived of +the happiness of seeing her and enjoying her discreet conversation, and +that I implore her as earnestly as I can, to allow herself to be seen and +addressed by this her captive servant and forlorn knight. Tell her, too, +that when she least expects it she will hear it announced that I have +made an oath and vow after the fashion of that which the Marquis of +Mantua made to avenge his nephew Baldwin, when he found him at the point +of death in the heart of the mountains, which was, not to eat bread off a +tablecloth, and other trifling matters which he added, until he had +avenged him; and I will make the same to take no rest, and to roam the +seven regions of the earth more thoroughly than the Infante Don Pedro of +Portugal ever roamed them, until I have disenchanted her.' 'All that and +more, you owe my lady,' the damsel's answer to me, and taking the four +reals, instead of making me a curtsey she cut a caper, springing two full +yards into the air." + +"O blessed God!" exclaimed Sancho aloud at this, "is it possible that +such things can be in the world, and that enchanters and enchantments can +have such power in it as to have changed my master's right senses into a +craze so full of absurdity! O senor, senor, for God's sake, consider +yourself, have a care for your honour, and give no credit to this silly +stuff that has left you scant and short of wits." + +"Thou talkest in this way because thou lovest me, Sancho," said Don +Quixote; "and not being experienced in the things of the world, +everything that has some difficulty about it seems to thee impossible; +but time will pass, as I said before, and I will tell thee some of the +things I saw down there which will make thee believe what I have related +now, the truth of which admits of neither reply nor question." + +Chapter XXIV. - +Wherein are related a thousand trifling matters, as trivial as they are +necessary to the right understanding of this great history + +He who translated this great history from the original written by its +first author, Cide Hamete Benengeli, says that on coming to the chapter +giving the adventures of the cave of Montesinos he found written on the +margin of it, in Hamete's own hand, these exact words: + +"I cannot convince or persuade myself that everything that is written in +the preceding chapter could have precisely happened to the valiant Don +Quixote; and for this reason, that all the adventures that have occurred +up to the present have been possible and probable; but as for this one of +the cave, I see no way of accepting it as true, as it passes all +reasonable bounds. For me to believe that Don Quixote could lie, he being +the most truthful gentleman and the noblest knight of his time, is +impossible; he would not have told a lie though he were shot to death +with arrows. On the other hand, I reflect that he related and told the +story with all the circumstances detailed, and that he could not in so +short a space have fabricated such a vast complication of absurdities; +if, then, this adventure seems apocryphal, it is no fault of mine; and +so, without affirming its falsehood or its truth, I write it down. Decide +for thyself in thy wisdom, reader; for I am not bound, nor is it in my +power, to do more; though certain it is they say that at the time of his +death he retracted, and said he had invented it, thinking it matched and +tallied with the adventures he had read of in his histories." And then he +goes on to say: + +The cousin was amazed as well at Sancho's boldness as at the patience of +his master, and concluded that the good temper the latter displayed arose +from the happiness he felt at having seen his lady Dulcinea, even +enchanted as she was; because otherwise the words and language Sancho had +addressed to him deserved a thrashing; for indeed he seemed to him to +have been rather impudent to his master, to whom he now observed, "I, +Senor Don Quixote of La Mancha, look upon the time I have spent in +travelling with your worship as very well employed, for I have gained +four things in the course of it; the first is that I have made your +acquaintance, which I consider great good fortune; the second, that I +have learned what the cave of Montesinos contains, together with the +transformations of Guadiana and of the lakes of Ruidera; which will be of +use to me for the Spanish Ovid that I have in hand; the third, to have +discovered the antiquity of cards, that they were in use at least in the +time of Charlemagne, as may be inferred from the words you say Durandarte +uttered when, at the end of that long spell while Montesinos was talking +to him, he woke up and said, 'Patience and shuffle.' This phrase and +expression he could not have learned while he was enchanted, but only +before he had become so, in France, and in the time of the aforesaid +emperor Charlemagne. And this demonstration is just the thing for me for +that other book I am writing, the 'Supplement to Polydore Vergil on the +Invention of Antiquities;' for I believe he never thought of inserting +that of cards in his book, as I mean to do in mine, and it will be a +matter of great importance, particularly when I can cite so grave and +veracious an authority as Senor Durandarte. And the fourth thing is, that +I have ascertained the source of the river Guadiana, heretofore unknown +to mankind." + +"You are right," said Don Quixote; "but I should like to know, if by +God's favour they grant you a licence to print those books of yours-which +I doubt--to whom do you mean dedicate them?" + +"There are lords and grandees in Spain to whom they can be dedicated," +said the cousin. + +"Not many," said Don Quixote; "not that they are unworthy of it, but +because they do not care to accept books and incur the obligation of +making the return that seems due to the author's labour and courtesy. One +prince I know who makes up for all the rest, and more-how much more, if I +ventured to say, perhaps I should stir up envy in many a noble breast; +but let this stand over for some more convenient time, and let us go and +look for some place to shelter ourselves in to-night." + +"Not far from this," said the cousin, "there is a hermitage, where there +lives a hermit, who they say was a soldier, and who has the reputation of +being a good Christian and a very intelligent and charitable man. Close +to the hermitage he has a small house which he built at his own cost, but +though small it is large enough for the reception of guests." + +"Has this hermit any hens, do you think?" asked Sancho. + +"Few hermits are without them," said Don Quixote; "for those we see +now-a-days are not like the hermits of the Egyptian deserts who were clad +in palm-leaves, and lived on the roots of the earth. But do not think +that by praising these I am disparaging the others; all I mean to say is +that the penances of those of the present day do not come up to the +asceticism and austerity of former times; but it does not follow from +this that they are not all worthy; at least I think them so; and at the +worst the hypocrite who pretends to be good does less harm than the open +sinner." + +At this point they saw approaching the spot where they stood a man on +foot, proceeding at a rapid pace, and beating a mule loaded with lances +and halberds. When he came up to them, he saluted them and passed on +without stopping. Don Quixote called to him, "Stay, good fellow; you seem +to be making more haste than suits that mule." + +"I cannot stop, senor," answered the man; "for the arms you see I carry +here are to be used tomorrow, so I must not delay; God be with you. But +if you want to know what I am carrying them for, I mean to lodge to-night +at the inn that is beyond the hermitage, and if you be going the same +road you will find me there, and I will tell you some curious things; +once more God be with you;" and he urged on his mule at such a pace that +Don Quixote had no time to ask him what these curious things were that he +meant to tell them; and as he was somewhat inquisitive, and always +tortured by his anxiety to learn something new, he decided to set out at +once, and go and pass the night at the inn instead of stopping at the +hermitage, where the cousin would have had them halt. Accordingly they +mounted and all three took the direct road for the inn, which they +reached a little before nightfall. On the road the cousin proposed they +should go up to the hermitage to drink a sup. The instant Sancho heard +this he steered his Dapple towards it, and Don Quixote and the cousin did +the same; but it seems Sancho's bad luck so ordered it that the hermit +was not at home, for so a sub-hermit they found in the hermitage told +them. They called for some of the best. She replied that her master had +none, but that if they liked cheap water she would give it with great +pleasure. + +"If I found any in water," said Sancho, "there are wells along the road +where I could have had enough of it. Ah, Camacho's wedding, and plentiful +house of Don Diego, how often do I miss you!" + +Leaving the hermitage, they pushed on towards the inn, and a little +farther they came upon a youth who was pacing along in front of them at +no great speed, so that they overtook him. He carried a sword over his +shoulder, and slung on it a budget or bundle of his clothes apparently, +probably his breeches or pantaloons, and his cloak and a shirt or two; +for he had on a short jacket of velvet with a gloss like satin on it in +places, and had his shirt out; his stockings were of silk, and his shoes +square-toed as they wear them at court. His age might have been eighteen +or nineteen; he was of a merry countenance, and to all appearance of an +active habit, and he went along singing seguidillas to beguile the +wearisomeness of the road. As they came up with him he was just finishing +one, which the cousin got by heart and they say ran thus-- + +poem{ + +I'm off to the wars + For the want of pence, +Oh, had I but money + I'd show more sense. + +}poem + +The first to address him was Don Quixote, who said, "You travel very +airily, sir gallant; whither bound, may we ask, if it is your pleasure to +tell us?" + +To which the youth replied, "The heat and my poverty are the reason of my +travelling so airily, and it is to the wars that I am bound." + +"How poverty?" asked Don Quixote; "the heat one can understand." + +"Senor," replied the youth, "in this bundle I carry velvet pantaloons to +match this jacket; if I wear them out on the road, I shall not be able to +make a decent appearance in them in the city, and I have not the +wherewithal to buy others; and so for this reason, as well as to keep +myself cool, I am making my way in this fashion to overtake some +companies of infantry that are not twelve leagues off, in which I shall +enlist, and there will be no want of baggage trains to travel with after +that to the place of embarkation, which they say will be Carthagena; I +would rather have the King for a master, and serve him in the wars, than +serve a court pauper." + +"And did you get any bounty, now?" asked the cousin. + +"If I had been in the service of some grandee of Spain or personage of +distinction," replied the youth, "I should have been safe to get it; for +that is the advantage of serving good masters, that out of the servants' +hall men come to be ancients or captains, or get a good pension. But I, +to my misfortune, always served place-hunters and adventurers, whose keep +and wages were so miserable and scanty that half went in paying for the +starching of one's collars; it would be a miracle indeed if a page +volunteer ever got anything like a reasonable bounty." + +"And tell me, for heaven's sake," asked Don Quixote, "is it possible, my +friend, that all the time you served you never got any livery?" + +"They gave me two," replied the page; "but just as when one quits a +religious community before making profession, they strip him of the dress +of the order and give him back his own clothes, so did my masters return +me mine; for as soon as the business on which they came to court was +finished, they went home and took back the liveries they had given merely +for show." + +"What spilorceria!--as an Italian would say," said Don Quixote; "but for +all that, consider yourself happy in having left court with as worthy an +object as you have, for there is nothing on earth more honourable or +profitable than serving, first of all God, and then one's king and +natural lord, particularly in the profession of arms, by which, if not +more wealth, at least more honour is to be won than by letters, as I have +said many a time; for though letters may have founded more great houses +than arms, still those founded by arms have I know not what superiority +over those founded by letters, and a certain splendour belonging to them +that distinguishes them above all. And bear in mind what I am now about +to say to you, for it will be of great use and comfort to you in time of +trouble; it is, not to let your mind dwell on the adverse chances that +may befall you; for the worst of all is death, and if it be a good death, +the best of all is to die. They asked Julius Caesar, the valiant Roman +emperor, what was the best death. He answered, that which is unexpected, +which comes suddenly and unforeseen; and though he answered like a pagan, +and one without the knowledge of the true God, yet, as far as sparing our +feelings is concerned, he was right; for suppose you are killed in the +first engagement or skirmish, whether by a cannon ball or blown up by +mine, what matters it? It is only dying, and all is over; and according +to Terence, a soldier shows better dead in battle, than alive and safe in +flight; and the good soldier wins fame in proportion as he is obedient to +his captains and those in command over him. And remember, my son, that it +is better for the soldier to smell of gunpowder than of civet, and that +if old age should come upon you in this honourable calling, though you +may be covered with wounds and crippled and lame, it will not come upon +you without honour, and that such as poverty cannot lessen; especially +now that provisions are being made for supporting and relieving old and +disabled soldiers; for it is not right to deal with them after the +fashion of those who set free and get rid of their black slaves when they +are old and useless, and, turning them out of their houses under the +pretence of making them free, make them slaves to hunger, from which they +cannot expect to be released except by death. But for the present I won't +say more than get ye up behind me on my horse as far as the inn, and sup +with me there, and to-morrow you shall pursue your journey, and God give +you as good speed as your intentions deserve." + +The page did not accept the invitation to mount, though he did that to +supper at the inn; and here they say Sancho said to himself, "God be with +you for a master; is it possible that a man who can say things so many +and so good as he has said just now, can say that he saw the impossible +absurdities he reports about the cave of Montesinos? Well, well, we shall +see." + +And now, just as night was falling, they reached the inn, and it was not +without satisfaction that Sancho perceived his master took it for a real +inn, and not for a castle as usual. The instant they entered Don Quixote +asked the landlord after the man with the lances and halberds, and was +told that he was in the stable seeing to his mule; which was what Sancho +and the cousin proceeded to do for their beasts, giving the best manger +and the best place in the stable to Rocinante. + +Chapter XXV. - +Wherein is set down the braying adventure, and the droll one of the +puppet-showman, together with the memorable divinations of the divining +ape + +Don Quixote's bread would not bake, as the common saying is, until he had +heard and learned the curious things promised by the man who carried the +arms. He went to seek him where the innkeeper said he was and having +found him, bade him say now at any rate what he had to say in answer to +the question he had asked him on the road. "The tale of my wonders must +be taken more leisurely and not standing," said the man; "let me finish +foddering my beast, good sir; and then I'll tell you things that will +astonish you." + +"Don't wait for that," said Don Quixote; "I'll help you in everything," +and so he did, sifting the barley for him and cleaning out the manger; a +degree of humility which made the other feel bound to tell him with a +good grace what he had asked; so seating himself on a bench, with Don +Quixote beside him, and the cousin, the page, Sancho Panza, and the +landlord, for a senate and an audience, he began his story in this way: + +"You must know that in a village four leagues and a half from this inn, +it so happened that one of the regidors, by the tricks and roguery of a +servant girl of his (it's too long a tale to tell), lost an ass; and +though he did all he possibly could to find it, it was all to no purpose. +A fortnight might have gone by, so the story goes, since the ass had been +missing, when, as the regidor who had lost it was standing in the plaza, +another regidor of the same town said to him, 'Pay me for good news, +gossip; your ass has turned up.' 'That I will, and well, gossip,' said +the other; 'but tell us, where has he turned up?' 'In the forest,' said +the finder; 'I saw him this morning without pack-saddle or harness of any +sort, and so lean that it went to one's heart to see him. I tried to +drive him before me and bring him to you, but he is already so wild and +shy that when I went near him he made off into the thickest part of the +forest. If you have a mind that we two should go back and look for him, +let me put up this she-ass at my house and I'll be back at once.' 'You +will be doing me a great kindness,' said the owner of the ass, 'and I'll +try to pay it back in the same coin.' It is with all these circumstances, +and in the very same way I am telling it now, that those who know all +about the matter tell the story. Well then, the two regidors set off on +foot, arm in arm, for the forest, and coming to the place where they +hoped to find the ass they could not find him, nor was he to be seen +anywhere about, search as they might. Seeing, then, that there was no +sign of him, the regidor who had seen him said to the other, 'Look here, +gossip; a plan has occurred to me, by which, beyond a doubt, we shall +manage to discover the animal, even if he is stowed away in the bowels of +the earth, not to say the forest. Here it is. I can bray to perfection, +and if you can ever so little, the thing's as good as done.' 'Ever so +little did you say, gossip?' said the other; 'by God, I'll not give in to +anybody, not even to the asses themselves.' 'We'll soon see,' said the +second regidor, 'for my plan is that you should go one side of the +forest, and I the other, so as to go all round about it; and every now +and then you will bray and I will bray; and it cannot be but that the ass +will hear us, and answer us if he is in the forest.' To which the owner +of the ass replied, 'It's an excellent plan, I declare, gossip, and +worthy of your great genius;' and the two separating as agreed, it so +fell out that they brayed almost at the same moment, and each, deceived +by the braying of the other, ran to look, fancying the ass had turned up +at last. When they came in sight of one another, said the loser, 'Is it +possible, gossip, that it was not my ass that brayed?' 'No, it was I,' +said the other. 'Well then, I can tell you, gossip,' said the ass's +owner, 'that between you and an ass there is not an atom of difference as +far as braying goes, for I never in all my life saw or heard anything +more natural.' 'Those praises and compliments belong to you more justly +than to me, gossip,' said the inventor of the plan; 'for, by the God that +made me, you might give a couple of brays odds to the best and most +finished brayer in the world; the tone you have got is deep, your voice +is well kept up as to time and pitch, and your finishing notes come thick +and fast; in fact, I own myself beaten, and yield the palm to you, and +give in to you in this rare accomplishment.' 'Well then,' said the owner, +'I'll set a higher value on myself for the future, and consider that I +know something, as I have an excellence of some sort; for though I always +thought I brayed well, I never supposed I came up to the pitch of +perfection you say.' 'And I say too,' said the second, 'that there are +rare gifts going to loss in the world, and that they are ill bestowed +upon those who don't know how to make use of them.' 'Ours,' said the +owner of the ass, 'unless it is in cases like this we have now in hand, +cannot be of any service to us, and even in this God grant they may be of +some use.' So saying they separated, and took to their braying once more, +but every instant they were deceiving one another, and coming to meet one +another again, until they arranged by way of countersign, so as to know +that it was they and not the ass, to give two brays, one after the other. +In this way, doubling the brays at every step, they made the complete +circuit of the forest, but the lost ass never gave them an answer or even +the sign of one. How could the poor ill-starred brute have answered, +when, in the thickest part of the forest, they found him devoured by +wolves? As soon as he saw him his owner said, 'I was wondering he did not +answer, for if he wasn't dead he'd have brayed when he heard us, or he'd +have been no ass; but for the sake of having heard you bray to such +perfection, gossip, I count the trouble I have taken to look for him well +bestowed, even though I have found him dead.' 'It's in a good hand, +gossip,' said the other; 'if the abbot sings well, the acolyte is not +much behind him.' So they returned disconsolate and hoarse to their +village, where they told their friends, neighbours, and acquaintances +what had befallen them in their search for the ass, each crying up the +other's perfection in braying. The whole story came to be known and +spread abroad through the villages of the neighbourhood; and the devil, +who never sleeps, with his love for sowing dissensions and scattering +discord everywhere, blowing mischief about and making quarrels out of +nothing, contrived to make the people of the other towns fall to braying +whenever they saw anyone from our village, as if to throw the braying of +our regidors in our teeth. Then the boys took to it, which was the same +thing for it as getting into the hands and mouths of all the devils of +hell; and braying spread from one town to another in such a way that the +men of the braying town are as easy to be known as blacks are to be known +from whites, and the unlucky joke has gone so far that several times the +scoffed have come out in arms and in a body to do battle with the +scoffers, and neither king nor rook, fear nor shame, can mend matters. +To-morrow or the day after, I believe, the men of my town, that is, of +the braying town, are going to take the field against another village two +leagues away from ours, one of those that persecute us most; and that we +may turn out well prepared I have bought these lances and halberds you +have seen. These are the curious things I told you I had to tell, and if +you don't think them so, I have got no others;" and with this the worthy +fellow brought his story to a close. + +Just at this moment there came in at the gate of the inn a man entirely +clad in chamois leather, hose, breeches, and doublet, who said in a loud +voice, "Senor host, have you room? Here's the divining ape and the show +of the Release of Melisendra just coming." + +"Ods body!" said the landlord, "why, it's Master Pedro! We're in for a +grand night!" I forgot to mention that the said Master Pedro had his left +eye and nearly half his cheek covered with a patch of green taffety, +showing that something ailed all that side. "Your worship is welcome, +Master Pedro," continued the landlord; "but where are the ape and the +show, for I don't see them?" "They are close at hand," said he in the +chamois leather, "but I came on first to know if there was any room." +"I'd make the Duke of Alva himself clear out to make room for Master +Pedro," said the landlord; "bring in the ape and the show; there's +company in the inn to-night that will pay to see that and the cleverness +of the ape." "So be it by all means," said the man with the patch; "I'll +lower the price, and be well satisfied if I only pay my expenses; and now +I'll go back and hurry on the cart with the ape and the show;" and with +this he went out of the inn. + +Don Quixote at once asked the landlord what this Master Pedro was, and +what was the show and what was the ape he had with him; which the +landlord replied, "This is a famous puppet-showman, who for some time +past has been going about this Mancha de Aragon, exhibiting a show of the +release of Melisendra by the famous Don Gaiferos, one of the best and +best-represented stories that have been seen in this part of the kingdom +for many a year; he has also with him an ape with the most extraordinary +gift ever seen in an ape or imagined in a human being; for if you ask him +anything, he listens attentively to the question, and then jumps on his +master's shoulder, and pressing close to his ear tells him the answer +which Master Pedro then delivers. He says a great deal more about things +past than about things to come; and though he does not always hit the +truth in every case, most times he is not far wrong, so that he makes us +fancy he has got the devil in him. He gets two reals for every question +if the ape answers; I mean if his master answers for him after he has +whispered into his ear; and so it is believed that this same Master Pedro +is very rich. He is a 'gallant man' as they say in Italy, and good +company, and leads the finest life in the world; talks more than six, +drinks more than a dozen, and all by his tongue, and his ape, and his +show." + +Master Pedro now came back, and in a cart followed the show and the +ape--a big one, without a tail and with buttocks as bare as felt, but not +vicious-looking. As soon as Don Quixote saw him, he asked him, "Can you +tell me, sir fortune-teller, what fish do we catch, and how will it be +with us? See, here are my two reals," and he bade Sancho give them to +Master Pedro; but he answered for the ape and said, "Senor, this animal +does not give any answer or information touching things that are to come; +of things past he knows something, and more or less of things present." + +"Gad," said Sancho, "I would not give a farthing to be told what's past +with me, for who knows that better than I do myself? And to pay for being +told what I know would be mighty foolish. But as you know things present, +here are my two reals, and tell me, most excellent sir ape, what is my +wife Teresa Panza doing now, and what is she diverting herself with?" + +Master Pedro refused to take the money, saying, "I will not receive +payment in advance or until the service has been first rendered;" and +then with his right hand he gave a couple of slaps on his left shoulder, +and with one spring the ape perched himself upon it, and putting his +mouth to his master's ear began chattering his teeth rapidly; and having +kept this up as long as one would be saying a credo, with another spring +he brought himself to the ground, and the same instant Master Pedro ran +in great haste and fell upon his knees before Don Quixote, and embracing +his legs exclaimed, "These legs do I embrace as I would embrace the two +pillars of Hercules, O illustrious reviver of knight-errantry, so long +consigned to oblivion! O never yet duly extolled knight, Don Quixote of +La Mancha, courage of the faint-hearted, prop of the tottering, arm of +the fallen, staff and counsel of all who are unfortunate!" + +Don Quixote was thunderstruck, Sancho astounded, the cousin staggered, +the page astonished, the man from the braying town agape, the landlord in +perplexity, and, in short, everyone amazed at the words of the +puppet-showman, who went on to say, "And thou, worthy Sancho Panza, the +best squire and squire to the best knight in the world! Be of good cheer, +for thy good wife Teresa is well, and she is at this moment hackling a +pound of flax; and more by token she has at her left hand a jug with a +broken spout that holds a good drop of wine, with which she solaces +herself at her work." + +"That I can well believe," said Sancho. "She is a lucky one, and if it +was not for her jealousy I would not change her for the giantess +Andandona, who by my master's account was a very clever and worthy woman; +my Teresa is one of those that won't let themselves want for anything, +though their heirs may have to pay for it." + +"Now I declare," said Don Quixote, "he who reads much and travels much +sees and knows a great deal. I say so because what amount of persuasion +could have persuaded me that there are apes in the world that can divine +as I have seen now with my own eyes? For I am that very Don Quixote of La +Mancha this worthy animal refers to, though he has gone rather too far in +my praise; but whatever I may be, I thank heaven that it has endowed me +with a tender and compassionate heart, always disposed to do good to all +and harm to none." + +"If I had money," said the page, "I would ask senor ape what will happen +me in the peregrination I am making." + +To this Master Pedro, who had by this time risen from Don Quixote's feet, +replied, "I have already said that this little beast gives no answer as +to the future; but if he did, not having money would be of no +consequence, for to oblige Senor Don Quixote, here present, I would give +up all the profits in the world. And now, because I have promised it, and +to afford him pleasure, I will set up my show and offer entertainment to +all who are in the inn, without any charge whatever." As soon as he heard +this, the landlord, delighted beyond measure, pointed out a place where +the show might be fixed, which was done at once. + +Don Quixote was not very well satisfied with the divinations of the ape, +as he did not think it proper that an ape should divine anything, either +past or future; so while Master Pedro was arranging the show, he retired +with Sancho into a corner of the stable, where, without being overheard +by anyone, he said to him, "Look here, Sancho, I have been seriously +thinking over this ape's extraordinary gift, and have come to the +conclusion that beyond doubt this Master Pedro, his master, has a pact, +tacit or express, with the devil." + +"If the packet is express from the devil," said Sancho, "it must be a +very dirty packet no doubt; but what good can it do Master Pedro to have +such packets?" + +"Thou dost not understand me, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "I only mean he +must have made some compact with the devil to infuse this power into the +ape, that he may get his living, and after he has grown rich he will give +him his soul, which is what the enemy of mankind wants; this I am led to +believe by observing that the ape only answers about things past or +present, and the devil's knowledge extends no further; for the future he +knows only by guesswork, and that not always; for it is reserved for God +alone to know the times and the seasons, and for him there is neither +past nor future; all is present. This being as it is, it is clear that +this ape speaks by the spirit of the devil; and I am astonished they have +not denounced him to the Holy Office, and put him to the question, and +forced it out of him by whose virtue it is that he divines; because it is +certain this ape is not an astrologer; neither his master nor he sets up, +or knows how to set up, those figures they call judiciary, which are now +so common in Spain that there is not a jade, or page, or old cobbler, +that will not undertake to set up a figure as readily as pick up a knave +of cards from the ground, bringing to nought the marvellous truth of the +science by their lies and ignorance. I know of a lady who asked one of +these figure schemers whether her little lap-dog would be in pup and +would breed, and how many and of what colour the little pups would be. To +which senor astrologer, after having set up his figure, made answer that +the bitch would be in pup, and would drop three pups, one green, another +bright red, and the third parti-coloured, provided she conceived between +eleven and twelve either of the day or night, and on a Monday or +Saturday; but as things turned out, two days after this the bitch died of +a surfeit, and senor planet-ruler had the credit all over the place of +being a most profound astrologer, as most of these planet-rulers have." + +"Still," said Sancho, "I would be glad if your worship would make Master +Pedro ask his ape whether what happened your worship in the cave of +Montesinos is true; for, begging your worship's pardon, I, for my part, +take it to have been all flam and lies, or at any rate something you +dreamt." + +"That may be," replied Don Quixote; "however, I will do what you suggest; +though I have my own scruples about it." + +At this point Master Pedro came up in quest of Don Quixote, to tell him +the show was now ready and to come and see it, for it was worth seeing. +Don Quixote explained his wish, and begged him to ask his ape at once to +tell him whether certain things which had happened to him in the cave of +Montesinos were dreams or realities, for to him they appeared to partake +of both. Upon this Master Pedro, without answering, went back to fetch +the ape, and, having placed it in front of Don Quixote and Sancho, said: +"See here, senor ape, this gentleman wishes to know whether certain +things which happened to him in the cave called the cave of Montesinos +were false or true." On his making the usual sign the ape mounted on his +left shoulder and seemed to whisper in his ear, and Master Pedro said at +once, "The ape says that the things you saw or that happened to you in +that cave are, part of them false, part true; and that he only knows this +and no more as regards this question; but if your worship wishes to know +more, on Friday next he will answer all that may be asked him, for his +virtue is at present exhausted, and will not return to him till Friday, +as he has said." + +"Did I not say, senor," said Sancho, "that I could not bring myself to +believe that all your worship said about the adventures in the cave was +true, or even the half of it?" + +"The course of events will tell, Sancho," replied Don Quixote; "time, +that discloses all things, leaves nothing that it does not drag into the +light of day, though it be buried in the bosom of the earth. But enough +of that for the present; let us go and see Master Pedro's show, for I am +sure there must be something novel in it." + +"Something!" said Master Pedro; "this show of mine has sixty thousand +novel things in it; let me tell you, Senor Don Quixote, it is one of the +best-worth-seeing things in the world this day; but operibus credite et +non verbis, and now let's get to work, for it is growing late, and we +have a great deal to do and to say and show." + +Don Quixote and Sancho obeyed him and went to where the show was already +put up and uncovered, set all around with lighted wax tapers which made +it look splendid and bright. When they came to it Master Pedro ensconced +himself inside it, for it was he who had to work the puppets, and a boy, +a servant of his, posted himself outside to act as showman and explain +the mysteries of the exhibition, having a wand in his hand to point to +the figures as they came out. And so, all who were in the inn being +arranged in front of the show, some of them standing, and Don Quixote, +Sancho, the page, and cousin, accommodated with the best places, the +interpreter began to say what he will hear or see who reads or hears the +next chapter. + +Chapter XXVI. - +Wherein is continued the droll adventure of the puppet-showman, together +with other things in truth right good + +All were silent, Tyrians and Trojans; I mean all who were watching the +show were hanging on the lips of the interpreter of its wonders, when +drums and trumpets were heard to sound inside it and cannon to go off. +The noise was soon over, and then the boy lifted up his voice and said, +"This true story which is here represented to your worships is taken word +for word from the French chronicles and from the Spanish ballads that are +in everybody's mouth, and in the mouth of the boys about the streets. Its +subject is the release by Senor Don Gaiferos of his wife Melisendra, when +a captive in Spain at the hands of the Moors in the city of Sansuena, for +so they called then what is now called Saragossa; and there you may see +how Don Gaiferos is playing at the tables, just as they sing it-- + +At tables playing Don Gaiferos sits, +For Melisendra is forgotten now. + +And that personage who appears there with a crown on his head and a +sceptre in his hand is the Emperor Charlemagne, the supposed father of +Melisendra, who, angered to see his son-in-law's inaction and unconcern, +comes in to chide him; and observe with what vehemence and energy he +chides him, so that you would fancy he was going to give him half a dozen +raps with his sceptre; and indeed there are authors who say he did give +them, and sound ones too; and after having said a great deal to him about +imperilling his honour by not effecting the release of his wife, he said, +so the tale runs, + +Enough I've said, see to it now. + +Observe, too, how the emperor turns away, and leaves Don Gaiferos fuming; +and you see now how in a burst of anger, he flings the table and the +board far from him and calls in haste for his armour, and asks his cousin +Don Roland for the loan of his sword, Durindana, and how Don Roland +refuses to lend it, offering him his company in the difficult enterprise +he is undertaking; but he, in his valour and anger, will not accept it, +and says that he alone will suffice to rescue his wife, even though she +were imprisoned deep in the centre of the earth, and with this he retires +to arm himself and set out on his journey at once. Now let your worships +turn your eyes to that tower that appears there, which is supposed to be +one of the towers of the alcazar of Saragossa, now called the Aljaferia; +that lady who appears on that balcony dressed in Moorish fashion is the +peerless Melisendra, for many a time she used to gaze from thence upon +the road to France, and seek consolation in her captivity by thinking of +Paris and her husband. Observe, too, a new incident which now occurs, +such as, perhaps, never was seen. Do you not see that Moor, who silently +and stealthily, with his finger on his lip, approaches Melisendra from +behind? Observe now how he prints a kiss upon her lips, and what a hurry +she is in to spit, and wipe them with the white sleeve of her smock, and +how she bewails herself, and tears her fair hair as though it were to +blame for the wrong. Observe, too, that the stately Moor who is in that +corridor is King Marsilio of Sansuena, who, having seen the Moor's +insolence, at once orders him (though his kinsman and a great favourite +of his) to be seized and given two hundred lashes, while carried through +the streets of the city according to custom, with criers going before him +and officers of justice behind; and here you see them come out to execute +the sentence, although the offence has been scarcely committed; for among +the Moors there are no indictments nor remands as with us." + +Here Don Quixote called out, "Child, child, go straight on with your +story, and don't run into curves and slants, for to establish a fact +clearly there is need of a great deal of proof and confirmation;" and +said Master Pedro from within, "Boy, stick to your text and do as the +gentleman bids you; it's the best plan; keep to your plain song, and +don't attempt harmonies, for they are apt to break down from being over +fine." + +"I will," said the boy, and he went on to say, "This figure that you see +here on horseback, covered with a Gascon cloak, is Don Gaiferos himself, +whom his wife, now avenged of the insult of the amorous Moor, and taking +her stand on the balcony of the tower with a calmer and more tranquil +countenance, has perceived without recognising him; and she addresses her +husband, supposing him to be some traveller, and holds with him all that +conversation and colloquy in the ballad that runs-- + +If you, sir knight, to France are bound, +Oh! for Gaiferos ask-- + +which I do not repeat here because prolixity begets disgust; suffice it +to observe how Don Gaiferos discovers himself, and that by her joyful +gestures Melisendra shows us she has recognised him; and what is more, we +now see she lowers herself from the balcony to place herself on the +haunches of her good husband's horse. But ah! unhappy lady, the edge of +her petticoat has caught on one of the bars of the balcony and she is +left hanging in the air, unable to reach the ground. But you see how +compassionate heaven sends aid in our sorest need; Don Gaiferos advances, +and without minding whether the rich petticoat is torn or not, he seizes +her and by force brings her to the ground, and then with one jerk places +her on the haunches of his horse, astraddle like a man, and bids her hold +on tight and clasp her arms round his neck, crossing them on his breast +so as not to fall, for the lady Melisendra was not used to that style of +riding. You see, too, how the neighing of the horse shows his +satisfaction with the gallant and beautiful burden he bears in his lord +and lady. You see how they wheel round and quit the city, and in joy and +gladness take the road to Paris. Go in peace, O peerless pair of true +lovers! May you reach your longed-for fatherland in safety, and may +fortune interpose no impediment to your prosperous journey; may the eyes +of your friends and kinsmen behold you enjoying in peace and tranquillity +the remaining days of your life--and that they may be as many as those of +Nestor!" + +Here Master Pedro called out again and said, "Simplicity, boy! None of +your high flights; all affectation is bad." + +The interpreter made no answer, but went on to say, "There was no want of +idle eyes, that see everything, to see Melisendra come down and mount, +and word was brought to King Marsilio, who at once gave orders to sound +the alarm; and see what a stir there is, and how the city is drowned with +the sound of the bells pealing in the towers of all the mosques." + +"Nay, nay," said Don Quixote at this; "on that point of the bells Master +Pedro is very inaccurate, for bells are not in use among the Moors; only +kettledrums, and a kind of small trumpet somewhat like our clarion; to +ring bells this way in Sansuena is unquestionably a great absurdity." + +On hearing this, Master Pedro stopped ringing, and said, "Don't look into +trifles, Senor Don Quixote, or want to have things up to a pitch of +perfection that is out of reach. Are there not almost every day a +thousand comedies represented all round us full of thousands of +inaccuracies and absurdities, and, for all that, they have a successful +run, and are listened to not only with applause, but with admiration and +all the rest of it? Go on, boy, and don't mind; for so long as I fill my +pouch, no matter if I show as many inaccuracies as there are motes in a +sunbeam." + +"True enough," said Don Quixote; and the boy went on: "See what a +numerous and glittering crowd of horsemen issues from the city in pursuit +of the two faithful lovers, what a blowing of trumpets there is, what +sounding of horns, what beating of drums and tabors; I fear me they will +overtake them and bring them back tied to the tail of their own horse, +which would be a dreadful sight." + +Don Quixote, however, seeing such a swarm of Moors and hearing such a +din, thought it would be right to aid the fugitives, and standing up he +exclaimed in a loud voice, "Never, while I live, will I permit foul play +to be practised in my presence on such a famous knight and fearless lover +as Don Gaiferos. Halt! ill-born rabble, follow him not nor pursue him, or +ye will have to reckon with me in battle!" and suiting the action to the +word, he drew his sword, and with one bound placed himself close to the +show, and with unexampled rapidity and fury began to shower down blows on +the puppet troop of Moors, knocking over some, decapitating others, +maiming this one and demolishing that; and among many more he delivered +one down stroke which, if Master Pedro had not ducked, made himself +small, and got out of the way, would have sliced off his head as easily +as if it had been made of almond-paste. Master Pedro kept shouting, "Hold +hard! Senor Don Quixote! can't you see they're not real Moors you're +knocking down and killing and destroying, but only little pasteboard +figures! Look--sinner that I am!--how you're wrecking and ruining all +that I'm worth!" But in spite of this, Don Quixote did not leave off +discharging a continuous rain of cuts, slashes, downstrokes, and +backstrokes, and at length, in less than the space of two credos, he +brought the whole show to the ground, with all its fittings and figures +shivered and knocked to pieces, King Marsilio badly wounded, and the +Emperor Charlemagne with his crown and head split in two. The whole +audience was thrown into confusion, the ape fled to the roof of the inn, +the cousin was frightened, and even Sancho Panza himself was in mighty +fear, for, as he swore after the storm was over, he had never seen his +master in such a furious passion. + +The complete destruction of the show being thus accomplished, Don Quixote +became a little calmer, said, "I wish I had here before me now all those +who do not or will not believe how useful knights-errant are in the +world; just think, if I had not been here present, what would have become +of the brave Don Gaiferos and the fair Melisendra! Depend upon it, by +this time those dogs would have overtaken them and inflicted some outrage +upon them. So, then, long live knight-errantry beyond everything living +on earth this day!" + +"Let it live, and welcome," said Master Pedro at this in a feeble voice, +"and let me die, for I am so unfortunate that I can say with King Don +Rodrigo-- + +poem{ + +Yesterday was I lord of Spain +To-day I've not a turret left +That I may call mine own. + +}poem + +Not half an hour, nay, barely a minute ago, I saw myself lord of kings +and emperors, with my stables filled with countless horses, and my trunks +and bags with gay dresses unnumbered; and now I find myself ruined and +laid low, destitute and a beggar, and above all without my ape, for, by +my faith, my teeth will have to sweat for it before I have him caught; +and all through the reckless fury of sir knight here, who, they say, +protects the fatherless, and rights wrongs, and does other charitable +deeds; but whose generous intentions have been found wanting in my case +only, blessed and praised be the highest heavens! Verily, knight of the +rueful figure he must be to have disfigured mine." + +Sancho Panza was touched by Master Pedro's words, and said to him, "Don't +weep and lament, Master Pedro; you break my heart; let me tell you my +master, Don Quixote, is so catholic and scrupulous a Christian that, if +he can make out that he has done you any wrong, he will own it, and be +willing to pay for it and make it good, and something over and above." + +"Only let Senor Don Quixote pay me for some part of the work he has +destroyed," said Master Pedro, "and I would be content, and his worship +would ease his conscience, for he cannot be saved who keeps what is +another's against the owner's will, and makes no restitution." + +"That is true," said Don Quixote; "but at present I am not aware that I +have got anything of yours, Master Pedro." + +"What!" returned Master Pedro; "and these relics lying here on the bare +hard ground--what scattered and shattered them but the invincible +strength of that mighty arm? And whose were the bodies they belonged to +but mine? And what did I get my living by but by them?" + +"Now am I fully convinced," said Don Quixote, "of what I had many a time +before believed; that the enchanters who persecute me do nothing more +than put figures like these before my eyes, and then change and turn them +into what they please. In truth and earnest, I assure you gentlemen who +now hear me, that to me everything that has taken place here seemed to +take place literally, that Melisendra was Melisendra, Don Gaiferos Don +Gaiferos, Marsilio Marsilio, and Charlemagne Charlemagne. That was why my +anger was roused; and to be faithful to my calling as a knight-errant I +sought to give aid and protection to those who fled, and with this good +intention I did what you have seen. If the result has been the opposite +of what I intended, it is no fault of mine, but of those wicked beings +that persecute me; but, for all that, I am willing to condemn myself in +costs for this error of mine, though it did not proceed from malice; let +Master Pedro see what he wants for the spoiled figures, for I agree to +pay it at once in good and current money of Castile." + +Master Pedro made him a bow, saying, "I expected no less of the rare +Christianity of the valiant Don Quixote of La Mancha, true helper and +protector of all destitute and needy vagabonds; master landlord here and +the great Sancho Panza shall be the arbitrators and appraisers between +your worship and me of what these dilapidated figures are worth or may be +worth." + +The landlord and Sancho consented, and then Master Pedro picked up from +the ground King Marsilio of Saragossa with his head off, and said, "Here +you see how impossible it is to restore this king to his former state, so +I think, saving your better judgments, that for his death, decease, and +demise, four reals and a half may be given me." + +"Proceed," said Don Quixote. + +"Well then, for this cleavage from top to bottom," continued Master +Pedro, taking up the split Emperor Charlemagne, "it would not be much if +I were to ask five reals and a quarter." + +"It's not little," said Sancho. + +"Nor is it much," said the landlord; "make it even, and say five reals." + +"Let him have the whole five and a quarter," said Don Quixote; "for the +sum total of this notable disaster does not stand on a quarter more or +less; and make an end of it quickly, Master Pedro, for it's getting on to +supper-time, and I have some hints of hunger." + +"For this figure," said Master Pedro, "that is without a nose, and wants +an eye, and is the fair Melisendra, I ask, and I am reasonable in my +charge, two reals and twelve maravedis." + +"The very devil must be in it," said Don Quixote, "if Melisendra and her +husband are not by this time at least on the French border, for the horse +they rode on seemed to me to fly rather than gallop; so you needn't try +to sell me the cat for the hare, showing me here a noseless Melisendra +when she is now, may be, enjoying herself at her ease with her husband in +France. God help every one to his own, Master Pedro, and let us all +proceed fairly and honestly; and now go on." + +Master Pedro, perceiving that Don Quixote was beginning to wander, and +return to his original fancy, was not disposed to let him escape, so he +said to him, "This cannot be Melisendra, but must be one of the damsels +that waited on her; so if I'm given sixty maravedis for her, I'll be +content and sufficiently paid." + +And so he went on, putting values on ever so many more smashed figures, +which, after the two arbitrators had adjusted them to the satisfaction of +both parties, came to forty reals and three-quarters; and over and above +this sum, which Sancho at once disbursed, Master Pedro asked for two +reals for his trouble in catching the ape. + +"Let him have them, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "not to catch the ape, but +to get drunk; and two hundred would I give this minute for the good news, +to anyone who could tell me positively, that the lady Dona Melisandra and +Senor Don Gaiferos were now in France and with their own people." + +"No one could tell us that better than my ape," said Master Pedro; "but +there's no devil that could catch him now; I suspect, however, that +affection and hunger will drive him to come looking for me to-night; but +to-morrow will soon be here and we shall see." + +In short, the puppet-show storm passed off, and all supped in peace and +good fellowship at Don Quixote's expense, for he was the height of +generosity. Before it was daylight the man with the lances and halberds +took his departure, and soon after daybreak the cousin and the page came +to bid Don Quixote farewell, the former returning home, the latter +resuming his journey, towards which, to help him, Don Quixote gave him +twelve reals. Master Pedro did not care to engage in any more palaver +with Don Quixote, whom he knew right well; so he rose before the sun, and +having got together the remains of his show and caught his ape, he too +went off to seek his adventures. The landlord, who did not know Don +Quixote, was as much astonished at his mad freaks as at his generosity. +To conclude, Sancho, by his master's orders, paid him very liberally, and +taking leave of him they quitted the inn at about eight in the morning +and took to the road, where we will leave them to pursue their journey, +for this is necessary in order to allow certain other matters to be set +forth, which are required to clear up this famous history. + +Chapter XXVII. - +Wherein it is shown who master pedro and his ape were, together with the +mishap Don Quixote had in the braying adventure, which he did not +conclude as he would have liked or as he had expected + +Cide Hamete, the chronicler of this great history, begins this chapter +with these words, "I swear as a Catholic Christian;" with regard to which +his translator says that Cide Hamete's swearing as a Catholic Christian, +he being--as no doubt he was--a Moor, only meant that, just as a Catholic +Christian taking an oath swears, or ought to swear, what is true, and +tell the truth in what he avers, so he was telling the truth, as much as +if he swore as a Catholic Christian, in all he chose to write about +Quixote, especially in declaring who Master Pedro was and what was the +divining ape that astonished all the villages with his divinations. He +says, then, that he who has read the First Part of this history will +remember well enough the Gines de Pasamonte whom, with other galley +slaves, Don Quixote set free in the Sierra Morena: a kindness for which +he afterwards got poor thanks and worse payment from that evil-minded, +ill-conditioned set. This Gines de Pasamonte--Don Ginesillo de Parapilla, +Don Quixote called him--it was that stole Dapple from Sancho Panza; +which, because by the fault of the printers neither the how nor the when +was stated in the First Part, has been a puzzle to a good many people, +who attribute to the bad memory of the author what was the error of the +press. In fact, however, Gines stole him while Sancho Panza was asleep on +his back, adopting the plan and device that Brunello had recourse to when +he stole Sacripante's horse from between his legs at the siege of +Albracca; and, as has been told, Sancho afterwards recovered him. This +Gines, then, afraid of being caught by the officers of justice, who were +looking for him to punish him for his numberless rascalities and offences +(which were so many and so great that he himself wrote a big book giving +an account of them), resolved to shift his quarters into the kingdom of +Aragon, and cover up his left eye, and take up the trade of a +puppet-showman; for this, as well as juggling, he knew how to practise to +perfection. From some released Christians returning from Barbary, it so +happened, he bought the ape, which he taught to mount upon his shoulder +on his making a certain sign, and to whisper, or seem to do so, in his +ear. Thus prepared, before entering any village whither he was bound with +his show and his ape, he used to inform himself at the nearest village, +or from the most likely person he could find, as to what particular +things had happened there, and to whom; and bearing them well in mind, +the first thing he did was to exhibit his show, sometimes one story, +sometimes another, but all lively, amusing, and familiar. As soon as the +exhibition was over he brought forward the accomplishments of his ape, +assuring the public that he divined all the past and the present, but as +to the future he had no skill. For each question answered he asked two +reals, and for some he made a reduction, just as he happened to feel the +pulse of the questioners; and when now and then he came to houses where +things that he knew of had happened to the people living there, even if +they did not ask him a question, not caring to pay for it, he would make +the sign to the ape and then declare that it had said so and so, which +fitted the case exactly. In this way he acquired a prodigious name and +all ran after him; on other occasions, being very crafty, he would answer +in such a way that the answers suited the questions; and as no one +cross-questioned him or pressed him to tell how his ape divined, he made +fools of them all and filled his pouch. The instant he entered the inn he +knew Don Quixote and Sancho, and with that knowledge it was easy for him +to astonish them and all who were there; but it would have cost him dear +had Don Quixote brought down his hand a little lower when he cut off King +Marsilio's head and destroyed all his horsemen, as related in the +preceeding chapter. + +So much for Master Pedro and his ape; and now to return to Don Quixote of +La Mancha. After he had left the inn he determined to visit, first of +all, the banks of the Ebro and that neighbourhood, before entering the +city of Saragossa, for the ample time there was still to spare before the +jousts left him enough for all. With this object in view he followed the +road and travelled along it for two days, without meeting any adventure +worth committing to writing until on the third day, as he was ascending a +hill, he heard a great noise of drums, trumpets, and musket-shots. At +first he imagined some regiment of soldiers was passing that way, and to +see them he spurred Rocinante and mounted the hill. On reaching the top +he saw at the foot of it over two hundred men, as it seemed to him, armed +with weapons of various sorts, lances, crossbows, partisans, halberds, +and pikes, and a few muskets and a great many bucklers. He descended the +slope and approached the band near enough to see distinctly the flags, +make out the colours and distinguish the devices they bore, especially +one on a standard or ensign of white satin, on which there was painted in +a very life-like style an ass like a little sard, with its head up, its +mouth open and its tongue out, as if it were in the act and attitude of +braying; and round it were inscribed in large characters these two lines-- + +They did not bray in vain, +Our alcaldes twain. + +From this device Don Quixote concluded that these people must be from the +braying town, and he said so to Sancho, explaining to him what was +written on the standard. At the same time he observed that the man who +had told them about the matter was wrong in saying that the two who +brayed were regidors, for according to the lines of the standard they +were alcaldes. To which Sancho replied, "Senor, there's nothing to stick +at in that, for maybe the regidors who brayed then came to be alcaldes of +their town afterwards, and so they may go by both titles; moreover, it +has nothing to do with the truth of the story whether the brayers were +alcaldes or regidors, provided at any rate they did bray; for an alcalde +is just as likely to bray as a regidor." They perceived, in short, +clearly that the town which had been twitted had turned out to do battle +with some other that had jeered it more than was fair or neighbourly. + +Don Quixote proceeded to join them, not a little to Sancho's uneasiness, +for he never relished mixing himself up in expeditions of that sort. The +members of the troop received him into the midst of them, taking him to +be some one who was on their side. Don Quixote, putting up his visor, +advanced with an easy bearing and demeanour to the standard with the ass, +and all the chief men of the army gathered round him to look at him, +staring at him with the usual amazement that everybody felt on seeing him +for the first time. Don Quixote, seeing them examining him so +attentively, and that none of them spoke to him or put any question to +him, determined to take advantage of their silence; so, breaking his own, +he lifted up his voice and said, "Worthy sirs, I entreat you as earnestly +as I can not to interrupt an argument I wish to address to you, until you +find it displeases or wearies you; and if that come to pass, on the +slightest hint you give me I will put a seal upon my lips and a gag upon +my tongue." + +They all bade him say what he liked, for they would listen to him +willingly. + +With this permission Don Quixote went on to say, "I, sirs, am a +knight-errant whose calling is that of arms, and whose profession is to +protect those who require protection, and give help to such as stand in +need of it. Some days ago I became acquainted with your misfortune and +the cause which impels you to take up arms again and again to revenge +yourselves upon your enemies; and having many times thought over your +business in my mind, I find that, according to the laws of combat, you +are mistaken in holding yourselves insulted; for a private individual +cannot insult an entire community; unless it be by defying it +collectively as a traitor, because he cannot tell who in particular is +guilty of the treason for which he defies it. Of this we have an example +in Don Diego Ordonez de Lara, who defied the whole town of Zamora, +because he did not know that Vellido Dolfos alone had committed the +treachery of slaying his king; and therefore he defied them all, and the +vengeance and the reply concerned all; though, to be sure, Senor Don +Diego went rather too far, indeed very much beyond the limits of a +defiance; for he had no occasion to defy the dead, or the waters, or the +fishes, or those yet unborn, and all the rest of it as set forth; but let +that pass, for when anger breaks out there's no father, governor, or +bridle to check the tongue. The case being, then, that no one person can +insult a kingdom, province, city, state, or entire community, it is clear +there is no reason for going out to avenge the defiance of such an +insult, inasmuch as it is not one. A fine thing it would be if the people +of the clock town were to be at loggerheads every moment with everyone +who called them by that name,--or the Cazoleros, Berengeneros, +Ballenatos, Jaboneros, or the bearers of all the other names and titles +that are always in the mouth of the boys and common people! It would be a +nice business indeed if all these illustrious cities were to take huff +and revenge themselves and go about perpetually making trombones of their +swords in every petty quarrel! No, no; God forbid! There are four things +for which sensible men and well-ordered States ought to take up arms, +draw their swords, and risk their persons, lives, and properties. The +first is to defend the Catholic faith; the second, to defend one's life, +which is in accordance with natural and divine law; the third, in defence +of one's honour, family, and property; the fourth, in the service of +one's king in a just war; and if to these we choose to add a fifth (which +may be included in the second), in defence of one's country. To these +five, as it were capital causes, there may be added some others that may +be just and reasonable, and make it a duty to take up arms; but to take +them up for trifles and things to laugh at and he amused by rather than +offended, looks as though he who did so was altogether wanting in common +sense. Moreover, to take an unjust revenge (and there cannot be any just +one) is directly opposed to the sacred law that we acknowledge, wherein +we are commanded to do good to our enemies and to love them that hate us; +a command which, though it seems somewhat difficult to obey, is only so +to those who have in them less of God than of the world, and more of the +flesh than of the spirit; for Jesus Christ, God and true man, who never +lied, and could not and cannot lie, said, as our law-giver, that his yoke +was easy and his burden light; he would not, therefore, have laid any +command upon us that it was impossible to obey. Thus, sirs, you are bound +to keep quiet by human and divine law." + +"The devil take me," said Sancho to himself at this, "but this master of +mine is a tologian; or, if not, faith, he's as like one as one egg is +like another." + +Don Quixote stopped to take breath, and, observing that silence was still +preserved, had a mind to continue his discourse, and would have done so +had not Sancho interposed with his smartness; for he, seeing his master +pause, took the lead, saying, "My lord Don Quixote of La Mancha, who once +was called the Knight of the Rueful Countenance, but now is called the +Knight of the Lions, is a gentleman of great discretion who knows Latin +and his mother tongue like a bachelor, and in everything that he deals +with or advises proceeds like a good soldier, and has all the laws and +ordinances of what they call combat at his fingers' ends; so you have +nothing to do but to let yourselves be guided by what he says, and on my +head be it if it is wrong. Besides which, you have been told that it is +folly to take offence at merely hearing a bray. I remember when I was a +boy I brayed as often as I had a fancy, without anyone hindering me, and +so elegantly and naturally that when I brayed all the asses in the town +would bray; but I was none the less for that the son of my parents who +were greatly respected; and though I was envied because of the gift by +more than one of the high and mighty ones of the town, I did not care two +farthings for it; and that you may see I am telling the truth, wait a bit +and listen, for this art, like swimming, once learnt is never forgotten;" +and then, taking hold of his nose, he began to bray so vigorously that +all the valleys around rang again. + +One of those, however, that stood near him, fancying he was mocking them, +lifted up a long staff he had in his hand and smote him such a blow with +it that Sancho dropped helpless to the ground. Don Quixote, seeing him so +roughly handled, attacked the man who had struck him lance in hand, but +so many thrust themselves between them that he could not avenge him. Far +from it, finding a shower of stones rained upon him, and crossbows and +muskets unnumbered levelled at him, he wheeled Rocinante round and, as +fast as his best gallop could take him, fled from the midst of them, +commending himself to God with all his heart to deliver him out of this +peril, in dread every step of some ball coming in at his back and coming +out at his breast, and every minute drawing his breath to see whether it +had gone from him. The members of the band, however, were satisfied with +seeing him take to flight, and did not fire on him. They put up Sancho, +scarcely restored to his senses, on his ass, and let him go after his +master; not that he was sufficiently in his wits to guide the beast, but +Dapple followed the footsteps of Rocinante, from whom he could not remain +a moment separated. Don Quixote having got some way off looked back, and +seeing Sancho coming, waited for him, as he perceived that no one +followed him. The men of the troop stood their ground till night, and as +the enemy did not come out to battle, they returned to their town +exulting; and had they been aware of the ancient custom of the Greeks, +they would have erected a trophy on the spot. + +Chapter XXVIII. - +Of matters that Benengeli says he who reads them will know, if he reads +them with attention + +When the brave man flees, treachery is manifest and it is for wise men to +reserve themselves for better occasions. This proved to be the case with +Don Quixote, who, giving way before the fury of the townsfolk and the +hostile intentions of the angry troop, took to flight and, without a +thought of Sancho or the danger in which he was leaving him, retreated to +such a distance as he thought made him safe. Sancho, lying across his +ass, followed him, as has been said, and at length came up, having by +this time recovered his senses, and on joining him let himself drop off +Dapple at Rocinante's feet, sore, bruised, and belaboured. Don Quixote +dismounted to examine his wounds, but finding him whole from head to +foot, he said to him, angrily enough, "In an evil hour didst thou take to +braying, Sancho! Where hast thou learned that it is well done to mention +the rope in the house of the man that has been hanged? To the music of +brays what harmonies couldst thou expect to get but cudgels? Give thanks +to God, Sancho, that they signed the cross on thee just now with a stick, +and did not mark thee per signum crucis with a cutlass." + +"I'm not equal to answering," said Sancho, "for I feel as if I was +speaking through my shoulders; let us mount and get away from this; I'll +keep from braying, but not from saying that knights-errant fly and leave +their good squires to be pounded like privet, or made meal of at the +hands of their enemies." + +"He does not fly who retires," returned Don Quixote; "for I would have +thee know, Sancho, that the valour which is not based upon a foundation +of prudence is called rashness, and the exploits of the rash man are to +be attributed rather to good fortune than to courage; and so I own that I +retired, but not that I fled; and therein I have followed the example of +many valiant men who have reserved themselves for better times; the +histories are full of instances of this, but as it would not be any good +to thee or pleasure to me, I will not recount them to thee now." + +Sancho was by this time mounted with the help of Don Quixote, who then +himself mounted Rocinante, and at a leisurely pace they proceeded to take +shelter in a grove which was in sight about a quarter of a league off. +Every now and then Sancho gave vent to deep sighs and dismal groans, and +on Don Quixote asking him what caused such acute suffering, he replied +that, from the end of his back-bone up to the nape of his neck, he was so +sore that it nearly drove him out of his senses. + +"The cause of that soreness," said Don Quixote, "will be, no doubt, that +the staff wherewith they smote thee being a very long one, it caught thee +all down the back, where all the parts that are sore are situated, and +had it reached any further thou wouldst be sorer still." + +"By God," said Sancho, "your worship has relieved me of a great doubt, +and cleared up the point for me in elegant style! Body o' me! is the +cause of my soreness such a mystery that there's any need to tell me I am +sore everywhere the staff hit me? If it was my ankles that pained me +there might be something in going divining why they did, but it is not +much to divine that I'm sore where they thrashed me. By my faith, master +mine, the ills of others hang by a hair; every day I am discovering more +and more how little I have to hope for from keeping company with your +worship; for if this time you have allowed me to be drubbed, the next +time, or a hundred times more, we'll have the blanketings of the other +day over again, and all the other pranks which, if they have fallen on my +shoulders now, will be thrown in my teeth by-and-by. I would do a great +deal better (if I was not an ignorant brute that will never do any good +all my life), I would do a great deal better, I say, to go home to my +wife and children and support them and bring them up on what God may +please to give me, instead of following your worship along roads that +lead nowhere and paths that are none at all, with little to drink and +less to eat. And then when it comes to sleeping! Measure out seven feet +on the earth, brother squire, and if that's not enough for you, take as +many more, for you may have it all your own way and stretch yourself to +your heart's content. Oh that I could see burnt and turned to ashes the +first man that meddled with knight-errantry or at any rate the first who +chose to be squire to such fools as all the knights-errant of past times +must have been! Of those of the present day I say nothing, because, as +your worship is one of them, I respect them, and because I know your +worship knows a point more than the devil in all you say and think." + +"I would lay a good wager with you, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "that now +that you are talking on without anyone to stop you, you don't feel a pain +in your whole body. Talk away, my son, say whatever comes into your head +or mouth, for so long as you feel no pain, the irritation your +impertinences give me will be a pleasure to me; and if you are so anxious +to go home to your wife and children, God forbid that I should prevent +you; you have money of mine; see how long it is since we left our village +this third time, and how much you can and ought to earn every month, and +pay yourself out of your own hand." + +"When I worked for Tom Carrasco, the father of the bachelor Samson +Carrasco that your worship knows," replied Sancho, "I used to earn two +ducats a month besides my food; I can't tell what I can earn with your +worship, though I know a knight-errant's squire has harder times of it +than he who works for a farmer; for after all, we who work for farmers, +however much we toil all day, at the worst, at night, we have our olla +supper and sleep in a bed, which I have not slept in since I have been in +your worship's service, if it wasn't the short time we were in Don Diego +de Miranda's house, and the feast I had with the skimmings I took off +Camacho's pots, and what I ate, drank, and slept in Basilio's house; all +the rest of the time I have been sleeping on the hard ground under the +open sky, exposed to what they call the inclemencies of heaven, keeping +life in me with scraps of cheese and crusts of bread, and drinking water +either from the brooks or from the springs we come to on these by-paths +we travel." + +"I own, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "that all thou sayest is true; how +much, thinkest thou, ought I to give thee over and above what Tom +Carrasco gave thee?" + +"I think," said Sancho, "that if your worship was to add on two reals a +month I'd consider myself well paid; that is, as far as the wages of my +labour go; but to make up to me for your worship's pledge and promise to +me to give me the government of an island, it would be fair to add six +reals more, making thirty in all." + +"Very good," said Don Quixote; "it is twenty-five days since we left our +village, so reckon up, Sancho, according to the wages you have made out +for yourself, and see how much I owe you in proportion, and pay yourself, +as I said before, out of your own hand." + +"O body o' me!" said Sancho, "but your worship is very much out in that +reckoning; for when it comes to the promise of the island we must count +from the day your worship promised it to me to this present hour we are +at now." + +"Well, how long is it, Sancho, since I promised it to you?" said Don +Quixote. + +"If I remember rightly," said Sancho, "it must be over twenty years, +three days more or less." + +Don Quixote gave himself a great slap on the forehead and began to laugh +heartily, and said he, "Why, I have not been wandering, either in the +Sierra Morena or in the whole course of our sallies, but barely two +months, and thou sayest, Sancho, that it is twenty years since I promised +thee the island. I believe now thou wouldst have all the money thou hast +of mine go in thy wages. If so, and if that be thy pleasure, I give it to +thee now, once and for all, and much good may it do thee, for so long as +I see myself rid of such a good-for-nothing squire I'll be glad to be +left a pauper without a rap. But tell me, thou perverter of the squirely +rules of knight-errantry, where hast thou ever seen or read that any +knight-errant's squire made terms with his lord, 'you must give me so +much a month for serving you'? Plunge, scoundrel, rogue, monster--for +such I take thee to be--plunge, I say, into the mare magnum of their +histories; and if thou shalt find that any squire ever said or thought +what thou hast said now, I will let thee nail it on my forehead, and give +me, over and above, four sound slaps in the face. Turn the rein, or the +halter, of thy Dapple, and begone home; for one single step further thou +shalt not make in my company. O bread thanklessly received! O promises +ill-bestowed! O man more beast than human being! Now, when I was about to +raise thee to such a position, that, in spite of thy wife, they would +call thee 'my lord,' thou art leaving me? Thou art going now when I had a +firm and fixed intention of making thee lord of the best island in the +world? Well, as thou thyself hast said before now, honey is not for the +mouth of the ass. Ass thou art, ass thou wilt be, and ass thou wilt end +when the course of thy life is run; for I know it will come to its close +before thou dost perceive or discern that thou art a beast." + +Sancho regarded Don Quixote earnestly while he was giving him this +rating, and was so touched by remorse that the tears came to his eyes, +and in a piteous and broken voice he said to him, "Master mine, I confess +that, to be a complete ass, all I want is a tail; if your worship will +only fix one on to me, I'll look on it as rightly placed, and I'll serve +you as an ass all the remaining days of my life. Forgive me and have pity +on my folly, and remember I know but little, and, if I talk much, it's +more from infirmity than malice; but he who sins and mends commends +himself to God." + +"I should have been surprised, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "if thou hadst +not introduced some bit of a proverb into thy speech. Well, well, I +forgive thee, provided thou dost mend and not show thyself in future so +fond of thine own interest, but try to be of good cheer and take heart, +and encourage thyself to look forward to the fulfillment of my promises, +which, by being delayed, does not become impossible." + +Sancho said he would do so, and keep up his heart as best he could. They +then entered the grove, and Don Quixote settled himself at the foot of an +elm, and Sancho at that of a beech, for trees of this kind and others +like them always have feet but no hands. Sancho passed the night in pain, +for with the evening dews the blow of the staff made itself felt all the +more. Don Quixote passed it in his never-failing meditations; but, for +all that, they had some winks of sleep, and with the appearance of +daylight they pursued their journey in quest of the banks of the famous +Ebro, where that befell them which will be told in the following chapter. + +Chapter XXIX. - +Of the famous adventure of the enchanted bark + +By stages as already described or left undescribed, two days after +quitting the grove Don Quixote and Sancho reached the river Ebro, and the +sight of it was a great delight to Don Quixote as he contemplated and +gazed upon the charms of its banks, the clearness of its stream, the +gentleness of its current and the abundance of its crystal waters; and +the pleasant view revived a thousand tender thoughts in his mind. Above +all, he dwelt upon what he had seen in the cave of Montesinos; for though +Master Pedro's ape had told him that of those things part was true, part +false, he clung more to their truth than to their falsehood, the very +reverse of Sancho, who held them all to be downright lies. + +As they were thus proceeding, then, they discovered a small boat, without +oars or any other gear, that lay at the water's edge tied to the stem of +a tree growing on the bank. Don Quixote looked all round, and seeing +nobody, at once, without more ado, dismounted from Rocinante and bade +Sancho get down from Dapple and tie both beasts securely to the trunk of +a poplar or willow that stood there. Sancho asked him the reason of this +sudden dismounting and tying. Don Quixote made answer, "Thou must know, +Sancho, that this bark is plainly, and without the possibility of any +alternative, calling and inviting me to enter it, and in it go to give +aid to some knight or other person of distinction in need of it, who is +no doubt in some sore strait; for this is the way of the books of +chivalry and of the enchanters who figure and speak in them. When a +knight is involved in some difficulty from which he cannot be delivered +save by the hand of another knight, though they may be at a distance of +two or three thousand leagues or more one from the other, they either +take him up on a cloud, or they provide a bark for him to get into, and +in less than the twinkling of an eye they carry him where they will and +where his help is required; and so, Sancho, this bark is placed here for +the same purpose; this is as true as that it is now day, and ere this one +passes tie Dapple and Rocinante together, and then in God's hand be it to +guide us; for I would not hold back from embarking, though barefooted +friars were to beg me." + +"As that's the case," said Sancho, "and your worship chooses to give in +to these--I don't know if I may call them absurdities--at every turn, +there's nothing for it but to obey and bow the head, bearing in mind the +proverb, 'Do as thy master bids thee, and sit down to table with him;' +but for all that, for the sake of easing my conscience, I warn your +worship that it is my opinion this bark is no enchanted one, but belongs +to some of the fishermen of the river, for they catch the best shad in +the world here." + +As Sancho said this, he tied the beasts, leaving them to the care and +protection of the enchanters with sorrow enough in his heart. Don Quixote +bade him not be uneasy about deserting the animals, "for he who would +carry themselves over such longinquous roads and regions would take care +to feed them." + +"I don't understand that logiquous," said Sancho, "nor have I ever heard +the word all the days of my life." + +"Longinquous," replied Don Quixote, "means far off; but it is no wonder +thou dost not understand it, for thou art not bound to know Latin, like +some who pretend to know it and don't." + +"Now they are tied," said Sancho; "what are we to do next?" + +"What?" said Don Quixote, "cross ourselves and weigh anchor; I mean, +embark and cut the moorings by which the bark is held;" and the bark +began to drift away slowly from the bank. But when Sancho saw himself +somewhere about two yards out in the river, he began to tremble and give +himself up for lost; but nothing distressed him more than hearing Dapple +bray and seeing Rocinante struggling to get loose, and said he to his +master, "Dapple is braying in grief at our leaving him, and Rocinante is +trying to escape and plunge in after us. O dear friends, peace be with +you, and may this madness that is taking us away from you, turned into +sober sense, bring us back to you." And with this he fell weeping so +bitterly, that Don Quixote said to him, sharply and angrily, "What art +thou afraid of, cowardly creature? What art thou weeping at, heart of +butter-paste? Who pursues or molests thee, thou soul of a tame mouse? +What dost thou want, unsatisfied in the very heart of abundance? Art +thou, perchance, tramping barefoot over the Riphaean mountains, instead +of being seated on a bench like an archduke on the tranquil stream of +this pleasant river, from which in a short space we shall come out upon +the broad sea? But we must have already emerged and gone seven hundred or +eight hundred leagues; and if I had here an astrolabe to take the +altitude of the pole, I could tell thee how many we have travelled, +though either I know little, or we have already crossed or shall shortly +cross the equinoctial line which parts the two opposite poles midway." + +"And when we come to that line your worship speaks of," said Sancho, "how +far shall we have gone?" + +"Very far," said Don Quixote, "for of the three hundred and sixty degrees +that this terraqueous globe contains, as computed by Ptolemy, the +greatest cosmographer known, we shall have travelled one-half when we +come to the line I spoke of." + +"By God," said Sancho, "your worship gives me a nice authority for what +you say, putrid Dolly something transmogrified, or whatever it is." + +Don Quixote laughed at the interpretation Sancho put upon "computed," and +the name of the cosmographer Ptolemy, and said he, "Thou must know, +Sancho, that with the Spaniards and those who embark at Cadiz for the +East Indies, one of the signs they have to show them when they have +passed the equinoctial line I told thee of, is, that the lice die upon +everybody on board the ship, and not a single one is left, or to be found +in the whole vessel if they gave its weight in gold for it; so, Sancho, +thou mayest as well pass thy hand down thy thigh, and if thou comest upon +anything alive we shall be no longer in doubt; if not, then we have +crossed." + +"I don't believe a bit of it," said Sancho; "still, I'll do as your +worship bids me; though I don't know what need there is for trying these +experiments, for I can see with my own eyes that we have not moved five +yards away from the bank, or shifted two yards from where the animals +stand, for there are Rocinante and Dapple in the very same place where we +left them; and watching a point, as I do now, I swear by all that's good, +we are not stirring or moving at the pace of an ant." + +"Try the test I told thee of, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "and don't mind +any other, for thou knowest nothing about colures, lines, parallels, +zodiacs, ecliptics, poles, solstices, equinoxes, planets, signs, +bearings, the measures of which the celestial and terrestrial spheres are +composed; if thou wert acquainted with all these things, or any portion +of them, thou wouldst see clearly how many parallels we have cut, what +signs we have seen, and what constellations we have left behind and are +now leaving behind. But again I tell thee, feel and hunt, for I am +certain thou art cleaner than a sheet of smooth white paper." + +Sancho felt, and passing his hand gently and carefully down to the hollow +of his left knee, he looked up at his master and said, "Either the test +is a false one, or we have not come to where your worship says, nor +within many leagues of it." + +"Why, how so?" asked Don Quixote; "hast thou come upon aught?" + +"Ay, and aughts," replied Sancho; and shaking his fingers he washed his +whole hand in the river along which the boat was quietly gliding in +midstream, not moved by any occult intelligence or invisible enchanter, +but simply by the current, just there smooth and gentle. + +They now came in sight of some large water mills that stood in the middle +of the river, and the instant Don Quixote saw them he cried out, "Seest +thou there, my friend? there stands the castle or fortress, where there +is, no doubt, some knight in durance, or ill-used queen, or infanta, or +princess, in whose aid I am brought hither." + +"What the devil city, fortress, or castle is your worship talking about, +senor?" said Sancho; "don't you see that those are mills that stand in +the river to grind corn?" + +"Hold thy peace, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "though they look like mills +they are not so; I have already told thee that enchantments transform +things and change their proper shapes; I do not mean to say they really +change them from one form into another, but that it seems as though they +did, as experience proved in the transformation of Dulcinea, sole refuge +of my hopes." + +By this time, the boat, having reached the middle of the stream, began to +move less slowly than hitherto. The millers belonging to the mills, when +they saw the boat coming down the river, and on the point of being sucked +in by the draught of the wheels, ran out in haste, several of them, with +long poles to stop it, and being all mealy, with faces and garments +covered with flour, they presented a sinister appearance. They raised +loud shouts, crying, "Devils of men, where are you going to? Are you mad? +Do you want to drown yourselves, or dash yourselves to pieces among these +wheels?" + +"Did I not tell thee, Sancho," said Don Quixote at this, "that we had +reached the place where I am to show what the might of my arm can do? See +what ruffians and villains come out against me; see what monsters oppose +me; see what hideous countenances come to frighten us! You shall soon +see, scoundrels!" And then standing up in the boat he began in a loud +voice to hurl threats at the millers, exclaiming, "Ill-conditioned and +worse-counselled rabble, restore to liberty and freedom the person ye +hold in durance in this your fortress or prison, high or low or of +whatever rank or quality he be, for I am Don Quixote of La Mancha, +otherwise called the Knight of the Lions, for whom, by the disposition of +heaven above, it is reserved to give a happy issue to this adventure;" +and so saying he drew his sword and began making passes in the air at the +millers, who, hearing but not understanding all this nonsense, strove to +stop the boat, which was now getting into the rushing channel of the +wheels. Sancho fell upon his knees devoutly appealing to heaven to +deliver him from such imminent peril; which it did by the activity and +quickness of the millers, who, pushing against the boat with their poles, +stopped it, not, however, without upsetting and throwing Don Quixote and +Sancho into the water; and lucky it was for Don Quixote that he could +swim like a goose, though the weight of his armour carried him twice to +the bottom; and had it not been for the millers, who plunged in and +hoisted them both out, it would have been Troy town with the pair of +them. As soon as, more drenched than thirsty, they were landed, Sancho +went down on his knees and with clasped hands and eyes raised to heaven, +prayed a long and fervent prayer to God to deliver him evermore from the +rash projects and attempts of his master. The fishermen, the owners of +the boat, which the mill-wheels had knocked to pieces, now came up, and +seeing it smashed they proceeded to strip Sancho and to demand payment +for it from Don Quixote; but he with great calmness, just as if nothing +had happened him, told the millers and fishermen that he would pay for +the bark most cheerfully, on condition that they delivered up to him, +free and unhurt, the person or persons that were in durance in that +castle of theirs. + +"What persons or what castle art thou talking of, madman? Art thou for +carrying off the people who come to grind corn in these mills?" + +"That's enough," said Don Quixote to himself, "it would be preaching in +the desert to attempt by entreaties to induce this rabble to do any +virtuous action. In this adventure two mighty enchanters must have +encountered one another, and one frustrates what the other attempts; one +provided the bark for me, and the other upset me; God help us, this world +is all machinations and schemes at cross purposes one with the other. I +can do no more." And then turning towards the mills he said aloud, +"Friends, whoe'er ye be that are immured in that prison, forgive me that, +to my misfortune and yours, I cannot deliver you from your misery; this +adventure is doubtless reserved and destined for some other knight." + +So saying he settled with the fishermen, and paid fifty reals for the +boat, which Sancho handed to them very much against the grain, saying, +"With a couple more bark businesses like this we shall have sunk our +whole capital." + +The fishermen and the millers stood staring in amazement at the two +figures, so very different to all appearance from ordinary men, and were +wholly unable to make out the drift of the observations and questions Don +Quixote addressed to them; and coming to the conclusion that they were +madmen, they left them and betook themselves, the millers to their mills, +and the fishermen to their huts. Don Quixote and Sancho returned to their +beasts, and to their life of beasts, and so ended the adventure of the +enchanted bark. + +Chapter XXX. - +Of Don Quixote's adventure with a fair huntress + +They reached their beasts in low spirits and bad humour enough, knight +and squire, Sancho particularly, for with him what touched the stock of +money touched his heart, and when any was taken from him he felt as if he +was robbed of the apples of his eyes. In fine, without exchanging a word, +they mounted and quitted the famous river, Don Quixote absorbed in +thoughts of his love, Sancho in thinking of his advancement, which just +then, it seemed to him, he was very far from securing; for, fool as he +was, he saw clearly enough that his master's acts were all or most of +them utterly senseless; and he began to cast about for an opportunity of +retiring from his service and going home some day, without entering into +any explanations or taking any farewell of him. Fortune, however, ordered +matters after a fashion very much the opposite of what he contemplated. + +It so happened that the next day towards sunset, on coming out of a wood, +Don Quixote cast his eyes over a green meadow, and at the far end of it +observed some people, and as he drew nearer saw that it was a hawking +party. Coming closer, he distinguished among them a lady of graceful +mien, on a pure white palfrey or hackney caparisoned with green trappings +and a silver-mounted side-saddle. The lady was also in green, and so +richly and splendidly dressed that splendour itself seemed personified in +her. On her left hand she bore a hawk, a proof to Don Quixote's mind that +she must be some great lady and the mistress of the whole hunting party, +which was the fact; so he said to Sancho, "Run Sancho, my son, and say to +that lady on the palfrey with the hawk that I, the Knight of the Lions, +kiss the hands of her exalted beauty, and if her excellence will grant me +leave I will go and kiss them in person and place myself at her service +for aught that may be in my power and her highness may command; and mind, +Sancho, how thou speakest, and take care not to thrust in any of thy +proverbs into thy message." + +"You've got a likely one here to thrust any in!" said Sancho; "leave me +alone for that! Why, this is not the first time in my life I have carried +messages to high and exalted ladies." + +"Except that thou didst carry to the lady Dulcinea," said Don Quixote, "I +know not that thou hast carried any other, at least in my service." + +"That is true," replied Sancho; "but pledges don't distress a good payer, +and in a house where there's plenty supper is soon cooked; I mean there's +no need of telling or warning me about anything; for I'm ready for +everything and know a little of everything." + +"That I believe, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "go and good luck to thee, +and God speed thee." + +Sancho went off at top speed, forcing Dapple out of his regular pace, and +came to where the fair huntress was standing, and dismounting knelt +before her and said, "Fair lady, that knight that you see there, the +Knight of the Lions by name, is my master, and I am a squire of his, and +at home they call me Sancho Panza. This same Knight of the Lions, who was +called not long since the Knight of the Rueful Countenance, sends by me +to say may it please your highness to give him leave that, with your +permission, approbation, and consent, he may come and carry out his +wishes, which are, as he says and I believe, to serve your exalted +loftiness and beauty; and if you give it, your ladyship will do a thing +which will redound to your honour, and he will receive a most +distinguished favour and happiness." + +"You have indeed, squire," said the lady, "delivered your message with +all the formalities such messages require; rise up, for it is not right +that the squire of a knight so great as he of the Rueful Countenance, of +whom we have heard a great deal here, should remain on his knees; rise, +my friend, and bid your master welcome to the services of myself and the +duke my husband, in a country house we have here." + +Sancho got up, charmed as much by the beauty of the good lady as by her +high-bred air and her courtesy, but, above all, by what she had said +about having heard of his master, the Knight of the Rueful Countenance; +for if she did not call him Knight of the Lions it was no doubt because +he had so lately taken the name. "Tell me, brother squire," asked the +duchess (whose title, however, is not known), "this master of yours, is +he not one of whom there is a history extant in print, called 'The +Ingenious Gentleman, Don Quixote of La Mancha,' who has for the lady of +his heart a certain Dulcinea del Toboso?" + +"He is the same, senora," replied Sancho; "and that squire of his who +figures, or ought to figure, in the said history under the name of Sancho +Panza, is myself, unless they have changed me in the cradle, I mean in +the press." + +"I am rejoiced at all this," said the duchess; "go, brother Panza, and +tell your master that he is welcome to my estate, and that nothing could +happen me that could give me greater pleasure." + +Sancho returned to his master mightily pleased with this gratifying +answer, and told him all the great lady had said to him, lauding to the +skies, in his rustic phrase, her rare beauty, her graceful gaiety, and +her courtesy. Don Quixote drew himself up briskly in his saddle, fixed +himself in his stirrups, settled his visor, gave Rocinante the spur, and +with an easy bearing advanced to kiss the hands of the duchess, who, +having sent to summon the duke her husband, told him while Don Quixote +was approaching all about the message; and as both of them had read the +First Part of this history, and from it were aware of Don Quixote's crazy +turn, they awaited him with the greatest delight and anxiety to make his +acquaintance, meaning to fall in with his humour and agree with +everything he said, and, so long as he stayed with them, to treat him as +a knight-errant, with all the ceremonies usual in the books of chivalry +they had read, for they themselves were very fond of them. + +Don Quixote now came up with his visor raised, and as he seemed about to +dismount Sancho made haste to go and hold his stirrup for him; but in +getting down off Dapple he was so unlucky as to hitch his foot in one of +the ropes of the pack-saddle in such a way that he was unable to free it, +and was left hanging by it with his face and breast on the ground. Don +Quixote, who was not used to dismount without having the stirrup held, +fancying that Sancho had by this time come to hold it for him, threw +himself off with a lurch and brought Rocinante's saddle after him, which +was no doubt badly girthed, and saddle and he both came to the ground; +not without discomfiture to him and abundant curses muttered between his +teeth against the unlucky Sancho, who had his foot still in the shackles. +The duke ordered his huntsmen to go to the help of knight and squire, and +they raised Don Quixote, sorely shaken by his fall; and he, limping, +advanced as best he could to kneel before the noble pair. This, however, +the duke would by no means permit; on the contrary, dismounting from his +horse, he went and embraced Don Quixote, saying, "I am grieved, Sir +Knight of the Rueful Countenance, that your first experience on my ground +should have been such an unfortunate one as we have seen; but the +carelessness of squires is often the cause of worse accidents." + +"That which has happened me in meeting you, mighty prince," replied Don +Quixote, "cannot be unfortunate, even if my fall had not stopped short of +the depths of the bottomless pit, for the glory of having seen you would +have lifted me up and delivered me from it. My squire, God's curse upon +him, is better at unloosing his tongue in talking impertinence than in +tightening the girths of a saddle to keep it steady; but however I may +be, allen or raised up, on foot or on horseback, I shall always be at +your service and that of my lady the duchess, your worthy consort, worthy +queen of beauty and paramount princess of courtesy." + +"Gently, Senor Don Quixote of La Mancha," said the duke; "where my lady +Dona Dulcinea del Toboso is, it is not right that other beauties should +be praised." + +Sancho, by this time released from his entanglement, was standing by, and +before his master could answer he said, "There is no denying, and it must +be maintained, that my lady Dulcinea del Toboso is very beautiful; but +the hare jumps up where one least expects it; and I have heard say that +what we call nature is like a potter that makes vessels of clay, and he +who makes one fair vessel can as well make two, or three, or a hundred; I +say so because, by my faith, my lady the duchess is in no way behind my +mistress the lady Dulcinea del Toboso." + +Don Quixote turned to the duchess and said, "Your highness may conceive +that never had knight-errant in this world a more talkative or a droller +squire than I have, and he will prove the truth of what I say, if your +highness is pleased to accept of my services for a few days." + +To which the duchess made answer, "that worthy Sancho is droll I consider +a very good thing, because it is a sign that he is shrewd; for drollery +and sprightliness, Senor Don Quixote, as you very well know, do not take +up their abode with dull wits; and as good Sancho is droll and sprightly +I here set him down as shrewd." + +"And talkative," added Don Quixote. + +"So much the better," said the duke, "for many droll things cannot be +said in few words; but not to lose time in talking, come, great Knight of +the Rueful Countenance-" + +"Of the Lions, your highness must say," said Sancho, "for there is no +Rueful Countenance nor any such character now." + +"He of the Lions be it," continued the duke; "I say, let Sir Knight of +the Lions come to a castle of mine close by, where he shall be given that +reception which is due to so exalted a personage, and which the duchess +and I are wont to give to all knights-errant who come there." + +By this time Sancho had fixed and girthed Rocinante's saddle, and Don +Quixote having got on his back and the duke mounted a fine horse, they +placed the duchess in the middle and set out for the castle. The duchess +desired Sancho to come to her side, for she found infinite enjoyment in +listening to his shrewd remarks. Sancho required no pressing, but pushed +himself in between them and the duke, who thought it rare good fortune to +receive such a knight-errant and such a homely squire in their castle. + +Chapter XXXI. - +Which treats of many and great matters + +Supreme was the satisfaction that Sancho felt at seeing himself, as it +seemed, an established favourite with the duchess, for he looked forward +to finding in her castle what he had found in Don Diego's house and in +Basilio's; he was always fond of good living, and always seized by the +forelock any opportunity of feasting himself whenever it presented +itself. The history informs us, then, that before they reached the +country house or castle, the duke went on in advance and instructed all +his servants how they were to treat Don Quixote; and so the instant he +came up to the castle gates with the duchess, two lackeys or equerries, +clad in what they call morning gowns of fine crimson satin reaching to +their feet, hastened out, and catching Don Quixote in their arms before +he saw or heard them, said to him, "Your highness should go and take my +lady the duchess off her horse." + +Don Quixote obeyed, and great bandying of compliments followed between +the two over the matter; but in the end the duchess's determination +carried the day, and she refused to get down or dismount from her palfrey +except in the arms of the duke, saying she did not consider herself +worthy to impose so unnecessary a burden on so great a knight. At length +the duke came out to take her down, and as they entered a spacious court +two fair damsels came forward and threw over Don Quixote's shoulders a +large mantle of the finest scarlet cloth, and at the same instant all the +galleries of the court were lined with the men-servants and +women-servants of the household, crying, "Welcome, flower and cream of +knight-errantry!" while all or most of them flung pellets filled with +scented water over Don Quixote and the duke and duchess; at all which Don +Quixote was greatly astonished, and this was the first time that he +thoroughly felt and believed himself to be a knight-errant in reality and +not merely in fancy, now that he saw himself treated in the same way as +he had read of such knights being treated in days of yore. + +Sancho, deserting Dapple, hung on to the duchess and entered the castle, +but feeling some twinges of conscience at having left the ass alone, he +approached a respectable duenna who had come out with the rest to receive +the duchess, and in a low voice he said to her, "Senora Gonzalez, or +however your grace may be called-" + +"I am called Dona Rodriguez de Grijalba," replied the duenna; "what is +your will, brother?" To which Sancho made answer, "I should be glad if +your worship would do me the favour to go out to the castle gate, where +you will find a grey ass of mine; make them, if you please, put him in +the stable, or put him there yourself, for the poor little beast is +rather easily frightened, and cannot bear being alone at all." + +"If the master is as wise as the man," said the duenna, "we have got a +fine bargain. Be off with you, brother, and bad luck to you and him who +brought you here; go, look after your ass, for we, the duennas of this +house, are not used to work of that sort." + +"Well then, in troth," returned Sancho, "I have heard my master, who is +the very treasure-finder of stories, telling the story of Lancelot when +he came from Britain, say that ladies waited upon him and duennas upon +his hack; and, if it comes to my ass, I wouldn't change him for Senor +Lancelot's hack." + +"If you are a jester, brother," said the duenna, "keep your drolleries +for some place where they'll pass muster and be paid for; for you'll get +nothing from me but a fig." + +"At any rate, it will be a very ripe one," said Sancho, "for you won't +lose the trick in years by a point too little." + +"Son of a bitch," said the duenna, all aglow with anger, "whether I'm old +or not, it's with God I have to reckon, not with you, you garlic-stuffed +scoundrel!" and she said it so loud, that the duchess heard it, and +turning round and seeing the duenna in such a state of excitement, and +her eyes flaming so, asked whom she was wrangling with. + +"With this good fellow here," said the duenna, "who has particularly +requested me to go and put an ass of his that is at the castle gate into +the stable, holding it up to me as an example that they did the same I +don't know where--that some ladies waited on one Lancelot, and duennas on +his hack; and what is more, to wind up with, he called me old." + +"That," said the duchess, "I should have considered the greatest affront +that could be offered me;" and addressing Sancho, she said to him, "You +must know, friend Sancho, that Dona Rodriguez is very youthful, and that +she wears that hood more for authority and custom sake than because of +her years." + +"May all the rest of mine be unlucky," said Sancho, "if I meant it that +way; I only spoke because the affection I have for my ass is so great, +and I thought I could not commend him to a more kind-hearted person than +the lady Dona Rodriguez." + +Don Quixote, who was listening, said to him, "Is this proper conversation +for the place, Sancho?" + +"Senor," replied Sancho, "every one must mention what he wants wherever +he may be; I thought of Dapple here, and I spoke of him here; if I had +thought of him in the stable I would have spoken there." + +On which the duke observed, "Sancho is quite right, and there is no +reason at all to find fault with him; Dapple shall be fed to his heart's +content, and Sancho may rest easy, for he shall be treated like himself." + +While this conversation, amusing to all except Don Quixote, was +proceeding, they ascended the staircase and ushered Don Quixote into a +chamber hung with rich cloth of gold and brocade; six damsels relieved +him of his armour and waited on him like pages, all of them prepared and +instructed by the duke and duchess as to what they were to do, and how +they were to treat Don Quixote, so that he might see and believe they +were treating him like a knight-errant. When his armour was removed, +there stood Don Quixote in his tight-fitting breeches and chamois +doublet, lean, lanky, and long, with cheeks that seemed to be kissing +each other inside; such a figure, that if the damsels waiting on him had +not taken care to check their merriment (which was one of the particular +directions their master and mistress had given them), they would have +burst with laughter. They asked him to let himself be stripped that they +might put a shirt on him, but he would not on any account, saying that +modesty became knights-errant just as much as valour. However, he said +they might give the shirt to Sancho; and shutting himself in with him in +a room where there was a sumptuous bed, he undressed and put on the +shirt; and then, finding himself alone with Sancho, he said to him, "Tell +me, thou new-fledged buffoon and old booby, dost thou think it right to +offend and insult a duenna so deserving of reverence and respect as that +one just now? Was that a time to bethink thee of thy Dapple, or are these +noble personages likely to let the beasts fare badly when they treat +their owners in such elegant style? For God's sake, Sancho, restrain +thyself, and don't show the thread so as to let them see what a coarse, +boorish texture thou art of. Remember, sinner that thou art, the master +is the more esteemed the more respectable and well-bred his servants are; +and that one of the greatest advantages that princes have over other men +is that they have servants as good as themselves to wait on them. Dost +thou not see--shortsighted being that thou art, and unlucky mortal that I +am!--that if they perceive thee to be a coarse clown or a dull blockhead, +they will suspect me to be some impostor or swindler? Nay, nay, Sancho +friend, keep clear, oh, keep clear of these stumbling-blocks; for he who +falls into the way of being a chatterbox and droll, drops into a wretched +buffoon the first time he trips; bridle thy tongue, consider and weigh +thy words before they escape thy mouth, and bear in mind we are now in +quarters whence, by God's help, and the strength of my arm, we shall come +forth mightily advanced in fame and fortune." + +Sancho promised him with much earnestness to keep his mouth shut, and to +bite off his tongue before he uttered a word that was not altogether to +the purpose and well considered, and told him he might make his mind easy +on that point, for it should never be discovered through him what they +were. + +Don Quixote dressed himself, put on his baldric with his sword, threw the +scarlet mantle over his shoulders, placed on his head a montera of green +satin that the damsels had given him, and thus arrayed passed out into +the large room, where he found the damsels drawn up in double file, the +same number on each side, all with the appliances for washing the hands, +which they presented to him with profuse obeisances and ceremonies. Then +came twelve pages, together with the seneschal, to lead him to dinner, as +his hosts were already waiting for him. They placed him in the midst of +them, and with much pomp and stateliness they conducted him into another +room, where there was a sumptuous table laid with but four covers. The +duchess and the duke came out to the door of the room to receive him, and +with them a grave ecclesiastic, one of those who rule noblemen's houses; +one of those who, not being born magnates themselves, never know how to +teach those who are how to behave as such; one of those who would have +the greatness of great folk measured by their own narrowness of mind; one +of those who, when they try to introduce economy into the household they +rule, lead it into meanness. One of this sort, I say, must have been the +grave churchman who came out with the duke and duchess to receive Don +Quixote. + +A vast number of polite speeches were exchanged, and at length, taking +Don Quixote between them, they proceeded to sit down to table. The duke +pressed Don Quixote to take the head of the table, and, though he +refused, the entreaties of the duke were so urgent that he had to accept +it. + +The ecclesiastic took his seat opposite to him, and the duke and duchess +those at the sides. All this time Sancho stood by, gaping with amazement +at the honour he saw shown to his master by these illustrious persons; +and observing all the ceremonious pressing that had passed between the +duke and Don Quixote to induce him to take his seat at the head of the +table, he said, "If your worship will give me leave I will tell you a +story of what happened in my village about this matter of seats." + +The moment Sancho said this Don Quixote trembled, making sure that he was +about to say something foolish. Sancho glanced at him, and guessing his +thoughts, said, "Don't be afraid of my going astray, senor, or saying +anything that won't be pat to the purpose; I haven't forgotten the advice +your worship gave me just now about talking much or little, well or ill." + +"I have no recollection of anything, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "say what +thou wilt, only say it quickly." + +"Well then," said Sancho, "what I am going to say is so true that my +master Don Quixote, who is here present, will keep me from lying." + +"Lie as much as thou wilt for all I care, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "for +I am not going to stop thee, but consider what thou art going to say." + +"I have so considered and reconsidered," said Sancho, "that the +bell-ringer's in a safe berth; as will be seen by what follows." + +"It would be well," said Don Quixote, "if your highnesses would order +them to turn out this idiot, for he will talk a heap of nonsense." + +"By the life of the duke, Sancho shall not be taken away from me for a +moment," said the duchess; "I am very fond of him, for I know he is very +discreet." + +"Discreet be the days of your holiness," said Sancho, "for the good +opinion you have of my wit, though there's none in me; but the story I +want to tell is this. There was an invitation given by a gentleman of my +town, a very rich one, and one of quality, for he was one of the Alamos +of Medina del Campo, and married to Dona Mencia de Quinones, the daughter +of Don Alonso de Maranon, Knight of the Order of Santiago, that was +drowned at the Herradura--him there was that quarrel about years ago in +our village, that my master Don Quixote was mixed up in, to the best of +my belief, that Tomasillo the scapegrace, the son of Balbastro the smith, +was wounded in.--Isn't all this true, master mine? As you live, say so, +that these gentlefolk may not take me for some lying chatterer." + +"So far," said the ecclesiastic, "I take you to be more a chatterer than +a liar; but I don't know what I shall take you for by-and-by." + +"Thou citest so many witnesses and proofs, Sancho," said Don Quixote, +"that I have no choice but to say thou must be telling the truth; go on, +and cut the story short, for thou art taking the way not to make an end +for two days to come." + +"He is not to cut it short," said the duchess; "on the contrary, for my +gratification, he is to tell it as he knows it, though he should not +finish it these six days; and if he took so many they would be to me the +pleasantest I ever spent." + +"Well then, sirs, I say," continued Sancho, "that this same gentleman, +whom I know as well as I do my own hands, for it's not a bowshot from my +house to his, invited a poor but respectable labourer-" + +"Get on, brother," said the churchman; "at the rate you are going you +will not stop with your story short of the next world." + +"I'll stop less than half-way, please God," said Sancho; "and so I say +this labourer, coming to the house of the gentleman I spoke of that +invited him--rest his soul, he is now dead; and more by token he died the +death of an angel, so they say; for I was not there, for just at that +time I had gone to reap at Tembleque-" + +"As you live, my son," said the churchman, "make haste back from +Tembleque, and finish your story without burying the gentleman, unless +you want to make more funerals." + +"Well then, it so happened," said Sancho, "that as the pair of them were +going to sit down to table--and I think I can see them now plainer than +ever-" + +Great was the enjoyment the duke and duchess derived from the irritation +the worthy churchman showed at the long-winded, halting way Sancho had of +telling his story, while Don Quixote was chafing with rage and vexation. + +"So, as I was saying," continued Sancho, "as the pair of them were going +to sit down to table, as I said, the labourer insisted upon the +gentleman's taking the head of the table, and the gentleman insisted upon +the labourer's taking it, as his orders should be obeyed in his house; +but the labourer, who plumed himself on his politeness and good breeding, +would not on any account, until the gentleman, out of patience, putting +his hands on his shoulders, compelled him by force to sit down, saying, +'Sit down, you stupid lout, for wherever I sit will be the head to you; +and that's the story, and, troth, I think it hasn't been brought in amiss +here." + +Don Quixote turned all colours, which, on his sunburnt face, mottled it +till it looked like jasper. The duke and duchess suppressed their +laughter so as not altogether to mortify Don Quixote, for they saw +through Sancho's impertinence; and to change the conversation, and keep +Sancho from uttering more absurdities, the duchess asked Don Quixote what +news he had of the lady Dulcinea, and if he had sent her any presents of +giants or miscreants lately, for he could not but have vanquished a good +many. + +To which Don Quixote replied, "Senora, my misfortunes, though they had a +beginning, will never have an end. I have vanquished giants and I have +sent her caitiffs and miscreants; but where are they to find her if she +is enchanted and turned into the most ill-favoured peasant wench that can +be imagined?" + +"I don't know," said Sancho Panza; "to me she seems the fairest creature +in the world; at any rate, in nimbleness and jumping she won't give in to +a tumbler; by my faith, senora duchess, she leaps from the ground on to +the back of an ass like a cat." + +"Have you seen her enchanted, Sancho?" asked the duke. + +"What, seen her!" said Sancho; "why, who the devil was it but myself that +first thought of the enchantment business? She is as much enchanted as my +father." + +The ecclesiastic, when he heard them talking of giants and caitiffs and +enchantments, began to suspect that this must be Don Quixote of La +Mancha, whose story the duke was always reading; and he had himself often +reproved him for it, telling him it was foolish to read such fooleries; +and becoming convinced that his suspicion was correct, addressing the +duke, he said very angrily to him, "Senor, your excellence will have to +give account to God for what this good man does. This Don Quixote, or Don +Simpleton, or whatever his name is, cannot, I imagine, be such a +blockhead as your excellence would have him, holding out encouragement to +him to go on with his vagaries and follies." Then turning to address Don +Quixote he said, "And you, num-skull, who put it into your head that you +are a knight-errant, and vanquish giants and capture miscreants? Go your +ways in a good hour, and in a good hour be it said to you. Go home and +bring up your children if you have any, and attend to your business, and +give over going wandering about the world, gaping and making a +laughing-stock of yourself to all who know you and all who don't. Where, +in heaven's name, have you discovered that there are or ever were +knights-errant? Where are there giants in Spain or miscreants in La +Mancha, or enchanted Dulcineas, or all the rest of the silly things they +tell about you?" + +Don Quixote listened attentively to the reverend gentleman's words, and +as soon as he perceived he had done speaking, regardless of the presence +of the duke and duchess, he sprang to his feet with angry looks and an +agitated countenance, and said--But the reply deserves a chapter to +itself. + +Chapter XXXII. - +Of the reply Don Quixote gave his censurer, with other incidents, grave +and droll + +Don Quixote, then, having risen to his feet, trembling from head to foot +like a man dosed with mercury, said in a hurried, agitated voice, "The +place I am in, the presence in which I stand, and the respect I have and +always have had for the profession to which your worship belongs, hold +and bind the hands of my just indignation; and as well for these reasons +as because I know, as everyone knows, that a gownsman's weapon is the +same as a woman's, the tongue, I will with mine engage in equal combat +with your worship, from whom one might have expected good advice instead +of foul abuse. Pious, well-meant reproof requires a different demeanour +and arguments of another sort; at any rate, to have reproved me in +public, and so roughly, exceeds the bounds of proper reproof, for that +comes better with gentleness than with rudeness; and it is not seemly to +call the sinner roundly blockhead and booby, without knowing anything of +the sin that is reproved. Come, tell me, for which of the stupidities you +have observed in me do you condemn and abuse me, and bid me go home and +look after my house and wife and children, without knowing whether I have +any? Is nothing more needed than to get a footing, by hook or by crook, +in other people's houses to rule over the masters (and that, perhaps, +after having been brought up in all the straitness of some seminary, and +without having ever seen more of the world than may lie within twenty or +thirty leagues round), to fit one to lay down the law rashly for +chivalry, and pass judgment on knights-errant? Is it, haply, an idle +occupation, or is the time ill-spent that is spent in roaming the world +in quest, not of its enjoyments, but of those arduous toils whereby the +good mount upwards to the abodes of everlasting life? If gentlemen, great +lords, nobles, men of high birth, were to rate me as a fool I should take +it as an irreparable insult; but I care not a farthing if clerks who have +never entered upon or trod the paths of chivalry should think me foolish. +Knight I am, and knight I will die, if such be the pleasure of the Most +High. Some take the broad road of overweening ambition; others that of +mean and servile flattery; others that of deceitful hypocrisy, and some +that of true religion; but I, led by my star, follow the narrow path of +knight-errantry, and in pursuit of that calling I despise wealth, but not +honour. I have redressed injuries, righted wrongs, punished insolences, +vanquished giants, and crushed monsters; I am in love, for no other +reason than that it is incumbent on knights-errant to be so; but though I +am, I am no carnal-minded lover, but one of the chaste, platonic sort. My +intentions are always directed to worthy ends, to do good to all and evil +to none; and if he who means this, does this, and makes this his practice +deserves to be called a fool, it is for your highnesses to say, O most +excellent duke and duchess." + +"Good, by God!" cried Sancho; "say no more in your own defence, master +mine, for there's nothing more in the world to be said, thought, or +insisted on; and besides, when this gentleman denies, as he has, that +there are or ever have been any knights-errant in the world, is it any +wonder if he knows nothing of what he has been talking about?" + +"Perhaps, brother," said the ecclesiastic, "you are that Sancho Panza +that is mentioned, to whom your master has promised an island?" + +"Yes, I am," said Sancho, "and what's more, I am one who deserves it as +much as anyone; I am one of the sort--'Attach thyself to the good, and +thou wilt be one of them,' and of those, 'Not with whom thou art bred, +but with whom thou art fed,' and of those, 'Who leans against a good +tree, a good shade covers him;' I have leant upon a good master, and I +have been for months going about with him, and please God I shall be just +such another; long life to him and long life to me, for neither will he +be in any want of empires to rule, or I of islands to govern." + +"No, Sancho my friend, certainly not," said the duke, "for in the name of +Senor Don Quixote I confer upon you the government of one of no small +importance that I have at my disposal." + +"Go down on thy knees, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "and kiss the feet of +his excellence for the favour he has bestowed upon thee." + +Sancho obeyed, and on seeing this the ecclesiastic stood up from table +completely out of temper, exclaiming, "By the gown I wear, I am almost +inclined to say that your excellence is as great a fool as these sinners. +No wonder they are mad, when people who are in their senses sanction +their madness! I leave your excellence with them, for so long as they are +in the house, I will remain in my own, and spare myself the trouble of +reproving what I cannot remedy;" and without uttering another word, or +eating another morsel, he went off, the entreaties of the duke and +duchess being entirely unavailing to stop him; not that the duke said +much to him, for he could not, because of the laughter his uncalled-for +anger provoked. + +When he had done laughing, he said to Don Quixote, "You have replied on +your own behalf so stoutly, Sir Knight of the Lions, that there is no +occasion to seek further satisfaction for this, which, though it may look +like an offence, is not so at all, for, as women can give no offence, no +more can ecclesiastics, as you very well know." + +"That is true," said Don Quixote, "and the reason is, that he who is not +liable to offence cannot give offence to anyone. Women, children, and +ecclesiastics, as they cannot defend themselves, though they may receive +offence cannot be insulted, because between the offence and the insult +there is, as your excellence very well knows, this difference: the insult +comes from one who is capable of offering it, and does so, and maintains +it; the offence may come from any quarter without carrying insult. To +take an example: a man is standing unsuspectingly in the street and ten +others come up armed and beat him; he draws his sword and quits himself +like a man, but the number of his antagonists makes it impossible for him +to effect his purpose and avenge himself; this man suffers an offence but +not an insult. Another example will make the same thing plain: a man is +standing with his back turned, another comes up and strikes him, and +after striking him takes to flight, without waiting an instant, and the +other pursues him but does not overtake him; he who received the blow +received an offence, but not an insult, because an insult must be +maintained. If he who struck him, though he did so sneakingly and +treacherously, had drawn his sword and stood and faced him, then he who +had been struck would have received offence and insult at the same time; +offence because he was struck treacherously, insult because he who struck +him maintained what he had done, standing his ground without taking to +flight. And so, according to the laws of the accursed duel, I may have +received offence, but not insult, for neither women nor children can +maintain it, nor can they wound, nor have they any way of standing their +ground, and it is just the same with those connected with religion; for +these three sorts of persons are without arms offensive or defensive, and +so, though naturally they are bound to defend themselves, they have no +right to offend anybody; and though I said just now I might have received +offence, I say now certainly not, for he who cannot receive an insult can +still less give one; for which reasons I ought not to feel, nor do I +feel, aggrieved at what that good man said to me; I only wish he had +stayed a little longer, that I might have shown him the mistake he makes +in supposing and maintaining that there are not and never have been any +knights-errant in the world; had Amadis or any of his countless +descendants heard him say as much, I am sure it would not have gone well +with his worship." + +"I will take my oath of that," said Sancho; "they would have given him a +slash that would have slit him down from top to toe like a pomegranate or +a ripe melon; they were likely fellows to put up with jokes of that sort! +By my faith, I'm certain if Reinaldos of Montalvan had heard the little +man's words he would have given him such a spank on the mouth that he +wouldn't have spoken for the next three years; ay, let him tackle them, +and he'll see how he'll get out of their hands!" + +The duchess, as she listened to Sancho, was ready to die with laughter, +and in her own mind she set him down as droller and madder than his +master; and there were a good many just then who were of the same +opinion. + +Don Quixote finally grew calm, and dinner came to an end, and as the +cloth was removed four damsels came in, one of them with a silver basin, +another with a jug also of silver, a third with two fine white towels on +her shoulder, and the fourth with her arms bared to the elbows, and in +her white hands (for white they certainly were) a round ball of Naples +soap. The one with the basin approached, and with arch composure and +impudence, thrust it under Don Quixote's chin, who, wondering at such a +ceremony, said never a word, supposing it to be the custom of that +country to wash beards instead of hands; he therefore stretched his out +as far as he could, and at the same instant the jug began to pour and the +damsel with the soap rubbed his beard briskly, raising snow-flakes, for +the soap lather was no less white, not only over the beard, but all over +the face, and over the eyes of the submissive knight, so that they were +perforce obliged to keep shut. The duke and duchess, who had not known +anything about this, waited to see what came of this strange washing. The +barber damsel, when she had him a hand's breadth deep in lather, +pretended that there was no more water, and bade the one with the jug go +and fetch some, while Senor Don Quixote waited. She did so, and Don +Quixote was left the strangest and most ludicrous figure that could be +imagined. All those present, and there were a good many, were watching +him, and as they saw him there with half a yard of neck, and that +uncommonly brown, his eyes shut, and his beard full of soap, it was a +great wonder, and only by great discretion, that they were able to +restrain their laughter. The damsels, the concocters of the joke, kept +their eyes down, not daring to look at their master and mistress; and as +for them, laughter and anger struggled within them, and they knew not +what to do, whether to punish the audacity of the girls, or to reward +them for the amusement they had received from seeing Don Quixote in such +a plight. + +At length the damsel with the jug returned and they made an end of +washing Don Quixote, and the one who carried the towels very deliberately +wiped him and dried him; and all four together making him a profound +obeisance and curtsey, they were about to go, when the duke, lest Don +Quixote should see through the joke, called out to the one with the basin +saying, "Come and wash me, and take care that there is water enough." The +girl, sharp-witted and prompt, came and placed the basin for the duke as +she had done for Don Quixote, and they soon had him well soaped and +washed, and having wiped him dry they made their obeisance and retired. +It appeared afterwards that the duke had sworn that if they had not +washed him as they had Don Quixote he would have punished them for their +impudence, which they adroitly atoned for by soaping him as well. + +Sancho observed the ceremony of the washing very attentively, and said to +himself, "God bless me, if it were only the custom in this country to +wash squires' beards too as well as knights'. For by God and upon my soul +I want it badly; and if they gave me a scrape of the razor besides I'd +take it as a still greater kindness." + +"What are you saying to yourself, Sancho?" asked the duchess. + +"I was saying, senora," he replied, "that in the courts of other princes, +when the cloth is taken away, I have always heard say they give water for +the hands, but not lye for the beard; and that shows it is good to live +long that you may see much; to be sure, they say too that he who lives a +long life must undergo much evil, though to undergo a washing of that +sort is pleasure rather than pain." + +"Don't be uneasy, friend Sancho," said the duchess; "I will take care +that my damsels wash you, and even put you in the tub if necessary." + +"I'll be content with the beard," said Sancho, "at any rate for the +present; and as for the future, God has decreed what is to be." + +"Attend to worthy Sancho's request, seneschal," said the duchess, "and do +exactly what he wishes." + +The seneschal replied that Senor Sancho should be obeyed in everything; +and with that he went away to dinner and took Sancho along with him, +while the duke and duchess and Don Quixote remained at table discussing a +great variety of things, but all bearing on the calling of arms and +knight-errantry. + +The duchess begged Don Quixote, as he seemed to have a retentive memory, +to describe and portray to her the beauty and features of the lady +Dulcinea del Toboso, for, judging by what fame trumpeted abroad of her +beauty, she felt sure she must be the fairest creature in the world, nay, +in all La Mancha. + +Don Quixote sighed on hearing the duchess's request, and said, "If I +could pluck out my heart, and lay it on a plate on this table here before +your highness's eyes, it would spare my tongue the pain of telling what +can hardly be thought of, for in it your excellence would see her +portrayed in full. But why should I attempt to depict and describe in +detail, and feature by feature, the beauty of the peerless Dulcinea, the +burden being one worthy of other shoulders than mine, an enterprise +wherein the pencils of Parrhasius, Timantes, and Apelles, and the graver +of Lysippus ought to be employed, to paint it in pictures and carve it in +marble and bronze, and Ciceronian and Demosthenian eloquence to sound its +praises?" + +"What does Demosthenian mean, Senor Don Quixote?" said the duchess; "it +is a word I never heard in all my life." + +"Demosthenian eloquence," said Don Quixote, "means the eloquence of +Demosthenes, as Ciceronian means that of Cicero, who were the two most +eloquent orators in the world." + +"True," said the duke; "you must have lost your wits to ask such a +question. Nevertheless, Senor Don Quixote would greatly gratify us if he +would depict her to us; for never fear, even in an outline or sketch she +will be something to make the fairest envious." + +"I would do so certainly," said Don Quixote, "had she not been blurred to +my mind's eye by the misfortune that fell upon her a short time since, +one of such a nature that I am more ready to weep over it than to +describe it. For your highnesses must know that, going a few days back to +kiss her hands and receive her benediction, approbation, and permission +for this third sally, I found her altogether a different being from the +one I sought; I found her enchanted and changed from a princess into a +peasant, from fair to foul, from an angel into a devil, from fragrant to +pestiferous, from refined to clownish, from a dignified lady into a +jumping tomboy, and, in a word, from Dulcinea del Toboso into a coarse +Sayago wench." + +"God bless me!" said the duke aloud at this, "who can have done the world +such an injury? Who can have robbed it of the beauty that gladdened it, +of the grace and gaiety that charmed it, of the modesty that shed a +lustre upon it?" + +"Who?" replied Don Quixote; "who could it be but some malignant enchanter +of the many that persecute me out of envy--that accursed race born into +the world to obscure and bring to naught the achievements of the good, +and glorify and exalt the deeds of the wicked? Enchanters have persecuted +me, enchanters persecute me still, and enchanters will continue to +persecute me until they have sunk me and my lofty chivalry in the deep +abyss of oblivion; and they injure and wound me where they know I feel it +most. For to deprive a knight-errant of his lady is to deprive him of the +eyes he sees with, of the sun that gives him light, of the food whereby +he lives. Many a time before have I said it, and I say it now once more, +a knight-errant without a lady is like a tree without leaves, a building +without a foundation, or a shadow without the body that causes it." + +"There is no denying it," said the duchess; "but still, if we are to +believe the history of Don Quixote that has come out here lately with +general applause, it is to be inferred from it, if I mistake not, that +you never saw the lady Dulcinea, and that the said lady is nothing in the +world but an imaginary lady, one that you yourself begot and gave birth +to in your brain, and adorned with whatever charms and perfections you +chose." + +"There is a good deal to be said on that point," said Don Quixote; "God +knows whether there be any Dulcinea or not in the world, or whether she +is imaginary or not imaginary; these are things the proof of which must +not be pushed to extreme lengths. I have not begotten nor given birth to +my lady, though I behold her as she needs must be, a lady who contains in +herself all the qualities to make her famous throughout the world, +beautiful without blemish, dignified without haughtiness, tender and yet +modest, gracious from courtesy and courteous from good breeding, and +lastly, of exalted lineage, because beauty shines forth and excels with a +higher degree of perfection upon good blood than in the fair of lowly +birth." + +"That is true," said the duke; "but Senor Don Quixote will give me leave +to say what I am constrained to say by the story of his exploits that I +have read, from which it is to be inferred that, granting there is a +Dulcinea in El Toboso, or out of it, and that she is in the highest +degree beautiful as you have described her to us, as regards the +loftiness of her lineage she is not on a par with the Orianas, +Alastrajareas, Madasimas, or others of that sort, with whom, as you well +know, the histories abound." + +"To that I may reply," said Don Quixote, "that Dulcinea is the daughter +of her own works, and that virtues rectify blood, and that lowly virtue +is more to be regarded and esteemed than exalted vice. Dulcinea, besides, +has that within her that may raise her to be a crowned and sceptred +queen; for the merit of a fair and virtuous woman is capable of +performing greater miracles; and virtually, though not formally, she has +in herself higher fortunes." + +"I protest, Senor Don Quixote," said the duchess, "that in all you say, +you go most cautiously and lead in hand, as the saying is; henceforth I +will believe myself, and I will take care that everyone in my house +believes, even my lord the duke if needs be, that there is a Dulcinea in +El Toboso, and that she is living to-day, and that she is beautiful and +nobly born and deserves to have such a knight as Senor Don Quixote in her +service, and that is the highest praise that it is in my power to give +her or that I can think of. But I cannot help entertaining a doubt, and +having a certain grudge against Sancho Panza; the doubt is this, that the +aforesaid history declares that the said Sancho Panza, when he carried a +letter on your worship's behalf to the said lady Dulcinea, found her +sifting a sack of wheat; and more by token it says it was red wheat; a +thing which makes me doubt the loftiness of her lineage." + +To this Don Quixote made answer, "Senora, your highness must know that +everything or almost everything that happens me transcends the ordinary +limits of what happens to other knights-errant; whether it be that it is +directed by the inscrutable will of destiny, or by the malice of some +jealous enchanter. Now it is an established fact that all or most famous +knights-errant have some special gift, one that of being proof against +enchantment, another that of being made of such invulnerable flesh that +he cannot be wounded, as was the famous Roland, one of the twelve peers +of France, of whom it is related that he could not be wounded except in +the sole of his left foot, and that it must be with the point of a stout +pin and not with any other sort of weapon whatever; and so, when Bernardo +del Carpio slew him at Roncesvalles, finding that he could not wound him +with steel, he lifted him up from the ground in his arms and strangled +him, calling to mind seasonably the death which Hercules inflicted on +Antaeus, the fierce giant that they say was the son of Terra. I would +infer from what I have mentioned that perhaps I may have some gift of +this kind, not that of being invulnerable, because experience has many +times proved to me that I am of tender flesh and not at all impenetrable; +nor that of being proof against enchantment, for I have already seen +myself thrust into a cage, in which all the world would not have been +able to confine me except by force of enchantments. But as I delivered +myself from that one, I am inclined to believe that there is no other +that can hurt me; and so, these enchanters, seeing that they cannot exert +their vile craft against my person, revenge themselves on what I love +most, and seek to rob me of life by maltreating that of Dulcinea in whom +I live; and therefore I am convinced that when my squire carried my +message to her, they changed her into a common peasant girl, engaged in +such a mean occupation as sifting wheat; I have already said, however, +that that wheat was not red wheat, nor wheat at all, but grains of orient +pearl. And as a proof of all this, I must tell your highnesses that, +coming to El Toboso a short time back, I was altogether unable to +discover the palace of Dulcinea; and that the next day, though Sancho, my +squire, saw her in her own proper shape, which is the fairest in the +world, to me she appeared to be a coarse, ill-favoured farm-wench, and by +no means a well-spoken one, she who is propriety itself. And so, as I am +not and, so far as one can judge, cannot be enchanted, she it is that is +enchanted, that is smitten, that is altered, changed, and transformed; in +her have my enemies revenged themselves upon me, and for her shall I live +in ceaseless tears, until I see her in her pristine state. I have +mentioned this lest anybody should mind what Sancho said about Dulcinea's +winnowing or sifting; for, as they changed her to me, it is no wonder if +they changed her to him. Dulcinea is illustrious and well-born, and of +one of the gentle families of El Toboso, which are many, ancient, and +good. Therein, most assuredly, not small is the share of the peerless +Dulcinea, through whom her town will be famous and celebrated in ages to +come, as Troy was through Helen, and Spain through La Cava, though with a +better title and tradition. For another thing; I would have your graces +understand that Sancho Panza is one of the drollest squires that ever +served knight-errant; sometimes there is a simplicity about him so acute +that it is an amusement to try and make out whether he is simple or +sharp; he has mischievous tricks that stamp him rogue, and blundering +ways that prove him a booby; he doubts everything and believes +everything; when I fancy he is on the point of coming down headlong from +sheer stupidity, he comes out with something shrewd that sends him up to +the skies. After all, I would not exchange him for another squire, though +I were given a city to boot, and therefore I am in doubt whether it will +be well to send him to the government your highness has bestowed upon +him; though I perceive in him a certain aptitude for the work of +governing, so that, with a little trimming of his understanding, he would +manage any government as easily as the king does his taxes; and moreover, +we know already ample experience that it does not require much cleverness +or much learning to be a governor, for there are a hundred round about us +that scarcely know how to read, and govern like gerfalcons. The main +point is that they should have good intentions and be desirous of doing +right in all things, for they will never be at a loss for persons to +advise and direct them in what they have to do, like those +knight-governors who, being no lawyers, pronounce sentences with the aid +of an assessor. My advice to him will be to take no bribe and surrender +no right, and I have some other little matters in reserve, that shall be +produced in due season for Sancho's benefit and the advantage of the +island he is to govern." + +The duke, duchess, and Don Quixote had reached this point in their +conversation, when they heard voices and a great hubbub in the palace, +and Sancho burst abruptly into the room all glowing with anger, with a +straining-cloth by way of a bib, and followed by several servants, or, +more properly speaking, kitchen-boys and other underlings, one of whom +carried a small trough full of water, that from its colour and impurity +was plainly dishwater. The one with the trough pursued him and followed +him everywhere he went, endeavouring with the utmost persistence to +thrust it under his chin, while another kitchen-boy seemed anxious to +wash his beard. + +"What is all this, brothers?" asked the duchess. "What is it? What do you +want to do to this good man? Do you forget he is a governor-elect?" + +To which the barber kitchen-boy replied, "The gentleman will not let +himself be washed as is customary, and as my lord and the senor his +master have been." + +"Yes, I will," said Sancho, in a great rage; "but I'd like it to be with +cleaner towels, clearer lye, and not such dirty hands; for there's not so +much difference between me and my master that he should be washed with +angels' water and I with devil's lye. The customs of countries and +princes' palaces are only good so long as they give no annoyance; but the +way of washing they have here is worse than doing penance. I have a clean +beard, and I don't require to be refreshed in that fashion, and whoever +comes to wash me or touch a hair of my head, I mean to say my beard, with +all due respect be it said, I'll give him a punch that will leave my fist +sunk in his skull; for cirimonies and soapings of this sort are more like +jokes than the polite attentions of one's host." + +The duchess was ready to die with laughter when she saw Sancho's rage and +heard his words; but it was no pleasure to Don Quixote to see him in such +a sorry trim, with the dingy towel about him, and the hangers-on of the +kitchen all round him; so making a low bow to the duke and duchess, as if +to ask their permission to speak, he addressed the rout in a dignified +tone: "Holloa, gentlemen! you let that youth alone, and go back to where +you came from, or anywhere else if you like; my squire is as clean as any +other person, and those troughs are as bad as narrow thin-necked jars to +him; take my advice and leave him alone, for neither he nor I understand +joking." + +Sancho took the word out of his mouth and went on, "Nay, let them come +and try their jokes on the country bumpkin, for it's about as likely I'll +stand them as that it's now midnight! Let them bring me a comb here, or +what they please, and curry this beard of mine, and if they get anything +out of it that offends against cleanliness, let them clip me to the +skin." + +Upon this, the duchess, laughing all the while, said, "Sancho Panza is +right, and always will be in all he says; he is clean, and, as he says +himself, he does not require to be washed; and if our ways do not please +him, he is free to choose. Besides, you promoters of cleanliness have +been excessively careless and thoughtless, I don't know if I ought not to +say audacious, to bring troughs and wooden utensils and kitchen +dishclouts, instead of basins and jugs of pure gold and towels of +holland, to such a person and such a beard; but, after all, you are +ill-conditioned and ill-bred, and spiteful as you are, you cannot help +showing the grudge you have against the squires of knights-errant." + +The impudent servitors, and even the seneschal who came with them, took +the duchess to be speaking in earnest, so they removed the +straining-cloth from Sancho's neck, and with something like shame and +confusion of face went off all of them and left him; whereupon he, seeing +himself safe out of that extreme danger, as it seemed to him, ran and +fell on his knees before the duchess, saying, "From great ladies great +favours may be looked for; this which your grace has done me today cannot +be requited with less than wishing I was dubbed a knight-errant, to +devote myself all the days of my life to the service of so exalted a +lady. I am a labouring man, my name is Sancho Panza, I am married, I have +children, and I am serving as a squire; if in any one of these ways I can +serve your highness, I will not be longer in obeying than your grace in +commanding." + +"It is easy to see, Sancho," replied the duchess, "that you have learned +to be polite in the school of politeness itself; I mean to say it is easy +to see that you have been nursed in the bosom of Senor Don Quixote, who +is, of course, the cream of good breeding and flower of ceremony--or +cirimony, as you would say yourself. Fair be the fortunes of such a +master and such a servant, the one the cynosure of knight-errantry, the +other the star of squirely fidelity! Rise, Sancho, my friend; I will +repay your courtesy by taking care that my lord the duke makes good to +you the promised gift of the government as soon as possible." + +With this, the conversation came to an end, and Don Quixote retired to +take his midday sleep; but the duchess begged Sancho, unless he had a +very great desire to go to sleep, to come and spend the afternoon with +her and her damsels in a very cool chamber. Sancho replied that, though +he certainly had the habit of sleeping four or five hours in the heat of +the day in summer, to serve her excellence he would try with all his +might not to sleep even one that day, and that he would come in obedience +to her command, and with that he went off. The duke gave fresh orders +with respect to treating Don Quixote as a knight-errant, without +departing even in smallest particular from the style in which, as the +stories tell us, they used to treat the knights of old. + +Chapter XXXIII. - +Of the delectable discourse which the duchess and her damsels held with +Sancho Panza, well worth reading and noting + +The history records that Sancho did not sleep that afternoon, but in +order to keep his word came, before he had well done dinner, to visit the +duchess, who, finding enjoyment in listening to him, made him sit down +beside her on a low seat, though Sancho, out of pure good breeding, +wanted not to sit down; the duchess, however, told him he was to sit down +as governor and talk as squire, as in both respects he was worthy of even +the chair of the Cid Ruy Diaz the Campeador. Sancho shrugged his +shoulders, obeyed, and sat down, and all the duchess's damsels and +duennas gathered round him, waiting in profound silence to hear what he +would say. It was the duchess, however, who spoke first, saying: + +"Now that we are alone, and that there is nobody here to overhear us, I +should be glad if the senor governor would relieve me of certain doubts I +have, rising out of the history of the great Don Quixote that is now in +print. One is: inasmuch as worthy Sancho never saw Dulcinea, I mean the +lady Dulcinea del Toboso, nor took Don Quixote's letter to her, for it +was left in the memorandum book in the Sierra Morena, how did he dare to +invent the answer and all that about finding her sifting wheat, the whole +story being a deception and falsehood, and so much to the prejudice of +the peerless Dulcinea's good name, a thing that is not at all becoming +the character and fidelity of a good squire?" + +At these words, Sancho, without uttering one in reply, got up from his +chair, and with noiseless steps, with his body bent and his finger on his +lips, went all round the room lifting up the hangings; and this done, he +came back to his seat and said, "Now, senora, that I have seen that there +is no one except the bystanders listening to us on the sly, I will answer +what you have asked me, and all you may ask me, without fear or dread. +And the first thing I have got to say is, that for my own part I hold my +master Don Quixote to be stark mad, though sometimes he says things that, +to my mind, and indeed everybody's that listens to him, are so wise, and +run in such a straight furrow, that Satan himself could not have said +them better; but for all that, really, and beyond all question, it's my +firm belief he is cracked. Well, then, as this is clear to my mind, I can +venture to make him believe things that have neither head nor tail, like +that affair of the answer to the letter, and that other of six or eight +days ago, which is not yet in history, that is to say, the affair of the +enchantment of my lady Dulcinea; for I made him believe she is enchanted, +though there's no more truth in it than over the hills of Ubeda." + +The duchess begged him to tell her about the enchantment or deception, so +Sancho told the whole story exactly as it had happened, and his hearers +were not a little amused by it; and then resuming, the duchess said, "In +consequence of what worthy Sancho has told me, a doubt starts up in my +mind, and there comes a kind of whisper to my ear that says, 'If Don +Quixote be mad, crazy, and cracked, and Sancho Panza his squire knows it, +and, notwithstanding, serves and follows him, and goes trusting to his +empty promises, there can be no doubt he must be still madder and sillier +than his master; and that being so, it will be cast in your teeth, senora +duchess, if you give the said Sancho an island to govern; for how will he +who does not know how to govern himself know how to govern others?'" + +"By God, senora," said Sancho, "but that doubt comes timely; but your +grace may say it out, and speak plainly, or as you like; for I know what +you say is true, and if I were wise I should have left my master long +ago; but this was my fate, this was my bad luck; I can't help it, I must +follow him; we're from the same village, I've eaten his bread, I'm fond +of him, I'm grateful, he gave me his ass-colts, and above all I'm +faithful; so it's quite impossible for anything to separate us, except +the pickaxe and shovel. And if your highness does not like to give me the +government you promised, God made me without it, and maybe your not +giving it to me will be all the better for my conscience, for fool as I +am I know the proverb 'to her hurt the ant got wings,' and it may be that +Sancho the squire will get to heaven sooner than Sancho the governor. +'They make as good bread here as in France,' and 'by night all cats are +grey,' and 'a hard case enough his, who hasn't broken his fast at two in +the afternoon,' and 'there's no stomach a hand's breadth bigger than +another,' and the same can be filled 'with straw or hay,' as the saying +is, and 'the little birds of the field have God for their purveyor and +caterer,' and 'four yards of Cuenca frieze keep one warmer than four of +Segovia broad-cloth,' and 'when we quit this world and are put +underground the prince travels by as narrow a path as the journeyman,' +and 'the Pope's body does not take up more feet of earth than the +sacristan's,' for all that the one is higher than the other; for when we +go to our graves we all pack ourselves up and make ourselves small, or +rather they pack us up and make us small in spite of us, and then--good +night to us. And I say once more, if your ladyship does not like to give +me the island because I'm a fool, like a wise man I will take care to +give myself no trouble about it; I have heard say that 'behind the cross +there's the devil,' and that 'all that glitters is not gold,' and that +from among the oxen, and the ploughs, and the yokes, Wamba the husbandman +was taken to be made King of Spain, and from among brocades, and +pleasures, and riches, Roderick was taken to be devoured by adders, if +the verses of the old ballads don't lie." + +"To be sure they don't lie!" exclaimed Dona Rodriguez, the duenna, who +was one of the listeners. "Why, there's a ballad that says they put King +Rodrigo alive into a tomb full of toads, and adders, and lizards, and +that two days afterwards the king, in a plaintive, feeble voice, cried +out from within the tomb-- + +poem{ + +They gnaw me now, they gnaw me now, +There where I most did sin. + +}poem + +And according to that the gentleman has good reason to say he would +rather be a labouring man than a king, if vermin are to eat him." + +The duchess could not help laughing at the simplicity of her duenna, or +wondering at the language and proverbs of Sancho, to whom she said, +"Worthy Sancho knows very well that when once a knight has made a promise +he strives to keep it, though it should cost him his life. My lord and +husband the duke, though not one of the errant sort, is none the less a +knight for that reason, and will keep his word about the promised island, +in spite of the envy and malice of the world. Let Sancho he of good +cheer; for when he least expects it he will find himself seated on the +throne of his island and seat of dignity, and will take possession of his +government that he may discard it for another of three-bordered brocade. +The charge I give him is to be careful how he governs his vassals, +bearing in mind that they are all loyal and well-born." + +"As to governing them well," said Sancho, "there's no need of charging me +to do that, for I'm kind-hearted by nature, and full of compassion for +the poor; there's no stealing the loaf from him who kneads and bakes;' +and by my faith it won't do to throw false dice with me; I am an old dog, +and I know all about 'tus, tus;' I can be wide-awake if need be, and I +don't let clouds come before my eyes, for I know where the shoe pinches +me; I say so, because with me the good will have support and protection, +and the bad neither footing nor access. And it seems to me that, in +governments, to make a beginning is everything; and maybe, after having +been governor a fortnight, I'll take kindly to the work and know more +about it than the field labour I have been brought up to." + +"You are right, Sancho," said the duchess, "for no one is born ready +taught, and the bishops are made out of men and not out of stones. But to +return to the subject we were discussing just now, the enchantment of the +lady Dulcinea, I look upon it as certain, and something more than +evident, that Sancho's idea of practising a deception upon his master, +making him believe that the peasant girl was Dulcinea and that if he did +not recognise her it must be because she was enchanted, was all a device +of one of the enchanters that persecute Don Quixote. For in truth and +earnest, I know from good authority that the coarse country wench who +jumped up on the ass was and is Dulcinea del Toboso, and that worthy +Sancho, though he fancies himself the deceiver, is the one that is +deceived; and that there is no more reason to doubt the truth of this, +than of anything else we never saw. Senor Sancho Panza must know that we +too have enchanters here that are well disposed to us, and tell us what +goes on in the world, plainly and distinctly, without subterfuge or +deception; and believe me, Sancho, that agile country lass was and is +Dulcinea del Toboso, who is as much enchanted as the mother that bore +her; and when we least expect it, we shall see her in her own proper +form, and then Sancho will be disabused of the error he is under at +present." + +"All that's very possible," said Sancho Panza; "and now I'm willing to +believe what my master says about what he saw in the cave of Montesinos, +where he says he saw the lady Dulcinea del Toboso in the very same dress +and apparel that I said I had seen her in when I enchanted her all to +please myself. It must be all exactly the other way, as your ladyship +says; because it is impossible to suppose that out of my poor wit such a +cunning trick could be concocted in a moment, nor do I think my master is +so mad that by my weak and feeble persuasion he could be made to believe +a thing so out of all reason. But, senora, your excellence must not +therefore think me ill-disposed, for a dolt like me is not bound to see +into the thoughts and plots of those vile enchanters. I invented all that +to escape my master's scolding, and not with any intention of hurting +him; and if it has turned out differently, there is a God in heaven who +judges our hearts." + +"That is true," said the duchess; "but tell me, Sancho, what is this you +say about the cave of Montesinos, for I should like to know." + +Sancho upon this related to her, word for word, what has been said +already touching that adventure, and having heard it the duchess said, +"From this occurrence it may be inferred that, as the great Don Quixote +says he saw there the same country wench Sancho saw on the way from El +Toboso, it is, no doubt, Dulcinea, and that there are some very active +and exceedingly busy enchanters about." + +"So I say," said Sancho, "and if my lady Dulcinea is enchanted, so much +the worse for her, and I'm not going to pick a quarrel with my master's +enemies, who seem to be many and spiteful. The truth is that the one I +saw was a country wench, and I set her down to be a country wench; and if +that was Dulcinea it must not be laid at my door, nor should I be called +to answer for it or take the consequences. But they must go nagging at me +at every step--'Sancho said it, Sancho did it, Sancho here, Sancho +there,' as if Sancho was nobody at all, and not that same Sancho Panza +that's now going all over the world in books, so Samson Carrasco told me, +and he's at any rate one that's a bachelor of Salamanca; and people of +that sort can't lie, except when the whim seizes them or they have some +very good reason for it. So there's no occasion for anybody to quarrel +with me; and then I have a good character, and, as I have heard my master +say, 'a good name is better than great riches;' let them only stick me +into this government and they'll see wonders, for one who has been a good +squire will be a good governor." + +"All worthy Sancho's observations," said the duchess, "are Catonian +sentences, or at any rate out of the very heart of Michael Verino +himself, who florentibus occidit annis. In fact, to speak in his own +style, 'under a bad cloak there's often a good drinker.'" + +"Indeed, senora," said Sancho, "I never yet drank out of wickedness; from +thirst I have very likely, for I have nothing of the hypocrite in me; I +drink when I'm inclined, or, if I'm not inclined, when they offer it to +me, so as not to look either strait-laced or ill-bred; for when a friend +drinks one's health what heart can be so hard as not to return it? But if +I put on my shoes I don't dirty them; besides, squires to knights-errant +mostly drink water, for they are always wandering among woods, forests +and meadows, mountains and crags, without a drop of wine to be had if +they gave their eyes for it." + +"So I believe," said the duchess; "and now let Sancho go and take his +sleep, and we will talk by-and-by at greater length, and settle how he +may soon go and stick himself into the government, as he says." + +Sancho once more kissed the duchess's hand, and entreated her to let good +care be taken of his Dapple, for he was the light of his eyes. + +"What is Dapple?" said the duchess. + +"My ass," said Sancho, "which, not to mention him by that name, I'm +accustomed to call Dapple; I begged this lady duenna here to take care of +him when I came into the castle, and she got as angry as if I had said +she was ugly or old, though it ought to be more natural and proper for +duennas to feed asses than to ornament chambers. God bless me! what a +spite a gentleman of my village had against these ladies!" + +"He must have been some clown," said Dona Rodriguez the duenna; "for if +he had been a gentleman and well-born he would have exalted them higher +than the horns of the moon." + +"That will do," said the duchess; "no more of this; hush, Dona Rodriguez, +and let Senor Panza rest easy and leave the treatment of Dapple in my +charge, for as he is a treasure of Sancho's, I'll put him on the apple of +my eye." + +"It will be enough for him to be in the stable," said Sancho, "for +neither he nor I are worthy to rest a moment in the apple of your +highness's eye, and I'd as soon stab myself as consent to it; for though +my master says that in civilities it is better to lose by a card too many +than a card too few, when it comes to civilities to asses we must mind +what we are about and keep within due bounds." + +"Take him to your government, Sancho," said the duchess, "and there you +will be able to make as much of him as you like, and even release him +from work and pension him off." + +"Don't think, senora duchess, that you have said anything absurd," said +Sancho; "I have seen more than two asses go to governments, and for me to +take mine with me would be nothing new." + +Sancho's words made the duchess laugh again and gave her fresh amusement, +and dismissing him to sleep she went away to tell the duke the +conversation she had had with him, and between them they plotted and +arranged to play a joke upon Don Quixote that was to be a rare one and +entirely in knight-errantry style, and in that same style they practised +several upon him, so much in keeping and so clever that they form the +best adventures this great history contains. + +Chapter XXXIV. - +Which relates how they learned the way in which they were to disenchant +the peerless Dulcinea Del Toboso, which is one of the rarest adventures +in this book + +Great was the pleasure the duke and duchess took in the conversation of +Don Quixote and Sancho Panza; and, more bent than ever upon the plan they +had of practising some jokes upon them that should have the look and +appearance of adventures, they took as their basis of action what Don +Quixote had already told them about the cave of Montesinos, in order to +play him a famous one. But what the duchess marvelled at above all was +that Sancho's simplicity could be so great as to make him believe as +absolute truth that Dulcinea had been enchanted, when it was he himself +who had been the enchanter and trickster in the business. Having, +therefore, instructed their servants in everything they were to do, six +days afterwards they took him out to hunt, with as great a retinue of +huntsmen and beaters as a crowned king. + +They presented Don Quixote with a hunting suit, and Sancho with another +of the finest green cloth; but Don Quixote declined to put his on, saying +that he must soon return to the hard pursuit of arms, and could not carry +wardrobes or stores with him. Sancho, however, took what they gave him, +meaning to sell it the first opportunity. + +The appointed day having arrived, Don Quixote armed himself, and Sancho +arrayed himself, and mounted on his Dapple (for he would not give him up +though they offered him a horse), he placed himself in the midst of the +troop of huntsmen. The duchess came out splendidly attired, and Don +Quixote, in pure courtesy and politeness, held the rein of her palfrey, +though the duke wanted not to allow him; and at last they reached a wood +that lay between two high mountains, where, after occupying various +posts, ambushes, and paths, and distributing the party in different +positions, the hunt began with great noise, shouting, and hallooing, so +that, between the baying of the hounds and the blowing of the horns, they +could not hear one another. The duchess dismounted, and with a sharp +boar-spear in her hand posted herself where she knew the wild boars were +in the habit of passing. The duke and Don Quixote likewise dismounted and +placed themselves one at each side of her. Sancho took up a position in +the rear of all without dismounting from Dapple, whom he dared not desert +lest some mischief should befall him. Scarcely had they taken their stand +in a line with several of their servants, when they saw a huge boar, +closely pressed by the hounds and followed by the huntsmen, making +towards them, grinding his teeth and tusks, and scattering foam from his +mouth. As soon as he saw him Don Quixote, bracing his shield on his arm, +and drawing his sword, advanced to meet him; the duke with boar-spear did +the same; but the duchess would have gone in front of them all had not +the duke prevented her. Sancho alone, deserting Dapple at the sight of +the mighty beast, took to his heels as hard as he could and strove in +vain to mount a tall oak. As he was clinging to a branch, however, +half-way up in his struggle to reach the top, the bough, such was his +ill-luck and hard fate, gave way, and caught in his fall by a broken limb +of the oak, he hung suspended in the air unable to reach the ground. +Finding himself in this position, and that the green coat was beginning +to tear, and reflecting that if the fierce animal came that way he might +be able to get at him, he began to utter such cries, and call for help so +earnestly, that all who heard him and did not see him felt sure he must +be in the teeth of some wild beast. In the end the tusked boar fell +pierced by the blades of the many spears they held in front of him; and +Don Quixote, turning round at the cries of Sancho, for he knew by them +that it was he, saw him hanging from the oak head downwards, with Dapple, +who did not forsake him in his distress, close beside him; and Cide +Hamete observes that he seldom saw Sancho Panza without seeing Dapple, or +Dapple without seeing Sancho Panza; such was their attachment and loyalty +one to the other. Don Quixote went over and unhooked Sancho, who, as soon +as he found himself on the ground, looked at the rent in his huntingcoat +and was grieved to the heart, for he thought he had got a patrimonial +estate in that suit. + +Meanwhile they had slung the mighty boar across the back of a mule, and +having covered it with sprigs of rosemary and branches of myrtle, they +bore it away as the spoils of victory to some large field-tents which had +been pitched in the middle of the wood, where they found the tables laid +and dinner served, in such grand and sumptuous style that it was easy to +see the rank and magnificence of those who had provided it. Sancho, as he +showed the rents in his torn suit to the duchess, observed, "If we had +been hunting hares, or after small birds, my coat would have been safe +from being in the plight it's in; I don't know what pleasure one can find +in lying in wait for an animal that may take your life with his tusk if +he gets at you. I recollect having heard an old ballad sung that says, + +poem{ + + By bears be thou devoured, as erst + Was famous Favila." + +}poem + +"That," said Don Quixote, "was a Gothic king, who, going a-hunting, was +devoured by a bear." + +"Just so," said Sancho; "and I would not have kings and princes expose +themselves to such dangers for the sake of a pleasure which, to my mind, +ought not to be one, as it consists in killing an animal that has done no +harm whatever." + +"Quite the contrary, Sancho; you are wrong there," said the duke; "for +hunting is more suitable and requisite for kings and princes than for +anybody else. The chase is the emblem of war; it has stratagems, wiles, +and crafty devices for overcoming the enemy in safety; in it extreme cold +and intolerable heat have to be borne, indolence and sleep are despised, +the bodily powers are invigorated, the limbs of him who engages in it are +made supple, and, in a word, it is a pursuit which may be followed +without injury to anyone and with enjoyment to many; and the best of it +is, it is not for everybody, as field-sports of other sorts are, except +hawking, which also is only for kings and great lords. Reconsider your +opinion therefore, Sancho, and when you are governor take to hunting, and +you will find the good of it." + +"Nay," said Sancho, "the good governor should have a broken leg and keep +at home;" it would be a nice thing if, after people had been at the +trouble of coming to look for him on business, the governor were to be +away in the forest enjoying himself; the government would go on badly in +that fashion. By my faith, senor, hunting and amusements are more fit for +idlers than for governors; what I intend to amuse myself with is playing +all fours at Eastertime, and bowls on Sundays and holidays; for these +huntings don't suit my condition or agree with my conscience." + +"God grant it may turn out so," said the duke; "because it's a long step +from saying to doing." + +"Be that as it may," said Sancho, "'pledges don't distress a good payer,' +and 'he whom God helps does better than he who gets up early,' and 'it's +the tripes that carry the feet and not the feet the tripes;' I mean to +say that if God gives me help and I do my duty honestly, no doubt I'll +govern better than a gerfalcon. Nay, let them only put a finger in my +mouth, and they'll see whether I can bite or not." + +"The curse of God and all his saints upon thee, thou accursed Sancho!" +exclaimed Don Quixote; "when will the day come--as I have often said to +thee--when I shall hear thee make one single coherent, rational remark +without proverbs? Pray, your highnesses, leave this fool alone, for he +will grind your souls between, not to say two, but two thousand proverbs, +dragged in as much in season, and as much to the purpose as--may God +grant as much health to him, or to me if I want to listen to them!" + +"Sancho Panza's proverbs," said the duchess, "though more in number than +the Greek Commander's, are not therefore less to be esteemed for the +conciseness of the maxims. For my own part, I can say they give me more +pleasure than others that may be better brought in and more seasonably +introduced." + +In pleasant conversation of this sort they passed out of the tent into +the wood, and the day was spent in visiting some of the posts and +hiding-places, and then night closed in, not, however, as brilliantly or +tranquilly as might have been expected at the season, for it was then +midsummer; but bringing with it a kind of haze that greatly aided the +project of the duke and duchess; and thus, as night began to fall, and a +little after twilight set in, suddenly the whole wood on all four sides +seemed to be on fire, and shortly after, here, there, on all sides, a +vast number of trumpets and other military instruments were heard, as if +several troops of cavalry were passing through the wood. The blaze of the +fire and the noise of the warlike instruments almost blinded the eyes and +deafened the ears of those that stood by, and indeed of all who were in +the wood. Then there were heard repeated lelilies after the fashion of +the Moors when they rush to battle; trumpets and clarions brayed, drums +beat, fifes played, so unceasingly and so fast that he could not have had +any senses who did not lose them with the confused din of so many +instruments. The duke was astounded, the duchess amazed, Don Quixote +wondering, Sancho Panza trembling, and indeed, even they who were aware +of the cause were frightened. In their fear, silence fell upon them, and +a postillion, in the guise of a demon, passed in front of them, blowing, +in lieu of a bugle, a huge hollow horn that gave out a horrible hoarse +note. + +"Ho there! brother courier," cried the duke, "who are you? Where are you +going? What troops are these that seem to be passing through the wood?" + +To which the courier replied in a harsh, discordant voice, "I am the +devil; I am in search of Don Quixote of La Mancha; those who are coming +this way are six troops of enchanters, who are bringing on a triumphal +car the peerless Dulcinea del Toboso; she comes under enchantment, +together with the gallant Frenchman Montesinos, to give instructions to +Don Quixote as to how, she the said lady, may be disenchanted." + +"If you were the devil, as you say and as your appearance indicates," +said the duke, "you would have known the said knight Don Quixote of La +Mancha, for you have him here before you." + +"By God and upon my conscience," said the devil, "I never observed it, +for my mind is occupied with so many different things that I was +forgetting the main thing I came about." + +"This demon must be an honest fellow and a good Christian," said Sancho; +"for if he wasn't he wouldn't swear by God and his conscience; I feel +sure now there must be good souls even in hell itself." + +Without dismounting, the demon then turned to Don Quixote and said, "The +unfortunate but valiant knight Montesinos sends me to thee, the Knight of +the Lions (would that I saw thee in their claws), bidding me tell thee to +wait for him wherever I may find thee, as he brings with him her whom +they call Dulcinea del Toboso, that he may show thee what is needful in +order to disenchant her; and as I came for no more I need stay no longer; +demons of my sort be with thee, and good angels with these gentles;" and +so saying he blew his huge horn, turned about and went off without +waiting for a reply from anyone. + +They all felt fresh wonder, but particularly Sancho and Don Quixote; +Sancho to see how, in defiance of the truth, they would have it that +Dulcinea was enchanted; Don Quixote because he could not feel sure +whether what had happened to him in the cave of Montesinos was true or +not; and as he was deep in these cogitations the duke said to him, "Do +you mean to wait, Senor Don Quixote?" + +"Why not?" replied he; "here will I wait, fearless and firm, though all +hell should come to attack me." + +"Well then, if I see another devil or hear another horn like the last, +I'll wait here as much as in Flanders," said Sancho. + +Night now closed in more completely, and many lights began to flit +through the wood, just as those fiery exhalations from the earth, that +look like shooting-stars to our eyes, flit through the heavens; a +frightful noise, too, was heard, like that made by the solid wheels the +ox-carts usually have, by the harsh, ceaseless creaking of which, they +say, the bears and wolves are put to flight, if there happen to be any +where they are passing. In addition to all this commotion, there came a +further disturbance to increase the tumult, for now it seemed as if in +truth, on all four sides of the wood, four encounters or battles were +going on at the same time; in one quarter resounded the dull noise of a +terrible cannonade, in another numberless muskets were being discharged, +the shouts of the combatants sounded almost close at hand, and farther +away the Moorish lelilies were raised again and again. In a word, the +bugles, the horns, the clarions, the trumpets, the drums, the cannon, the +musketry, and above all the tremendous noise of the carts, all made up +together a din so confused and terrific that Don Quixote had need to +summon up all his courage to brave it; but Sancho's gave way, and he fell +fainting on the skirt of the duchess's robe, who let him lie there and +promptly bade them throw water in his face. This was done, and he came to +himself by the time that one of the carts with the creaking wheels +reached the spot. It was drawn by four plodding oxen all covered with +black housings; on each horn they had fixed a large lighted wax taper, +and on the top of the cart was constructed a raised seat, on which sat a +venerable old man with a beard whiter than the very snow, and so long +that it fell below his waist; he was dressed in a long robe of black +buckram; for as the cart was thickly set with a multitude of candles it +was easy to make out everything that was on it. Leading it were two +hideous demons, also clad in buckram, with countenances so frightful that +Sancho, having once seen them, shut his eyes so as not to see them again. +As soon as the cart came opposite the spot the old man rose from his +lofty seat, and standing up said in a loud voice, "I am the sage +Lirgandeo," and without another word the cart then passed on. Behind it +came another of the same form, with another aged man enthroned, who, +stopping the cart, said in a voice no less solemn than that of the first, +"I am the sage Alquife, the great friend of Urganda the Unknown," and +passed on. Then another cart came by at the same pace, but the occupant +of the throne was not old like the others, but a man stalwart and robust, +and of a forbidding countenance, who as he came up said in a voice far +hoarser and more devilish, "I am the enchanter Archelaus, the mortal +enemy of Amadis of Gaul and all his kindred," and then passed on. Having +gone a short distance the three carts halted and the monotonous noise of +their wheels ceased, and soon after they heard another, not noise, but +sound of sweet, harmonious music, of which Sancho was very glad, taking +it to be a good sign; and said he to the duchess, from whom he did not +stir a step, or for a single instant, "Senora, where there's music there +can't be mischief." + +"Nor where there are lights and it is bright," said the duchess; to which +Sancho replied, "Fire gives light, and it's bright where there are +bonfires, as we see by those that are all round us and perhaps may burn +us; but music is a sign of mirth and merrymaking." + +"That remains to be seen," said Don Quixote, who was listening to all +that passed; and he was right, as is shown in the following chapter. + +Chapter XXXV. - +Wherein is continued the instruction given to Don Quixote touching the +disenchantment of Dulcinea, together with other marvellous incidents + +They saw advancing towards them, to the sound of this pleasing music, +what they call a triumphal car, drawn by six grey mules with white linen +housings, on each of which was mounted a penitent, robed also in white, +with a large lighted wax taper in his hand. The car was twice or, +perhaps, three times as large as the former ones, and in front and on the +sides stood twelve more penitents, all as white as snow and all with +lighted tapers, a spectacle to excite fear as well as wonder; and on a +raised throne was seated a nymph draped in a multitude of silver-tissue +veils with an embroidery of countless gold spangles glittering all over +them, that made her appear, if not richly, at least brilliantly, +apparelled. She had her face covered with thin transparent sendal, the +texture of which did not prevent the fair features of a maiden from being +distinguished, while the numerous lights made it possible to judge of her +beauty and of her years, which seemed to be not less than seventeen but +not to have yet reached twenty. Beside her was a figure in a robe of +state, as they call it, reaching to the feet, while the head was covered +with a black veil. But the instant the car was opposite the duke and +duchess and Don Quixote the music of the clarions ceased, and then that +of the lutes and harps on the car, and the figure in the robe rose up, +and flinging it apart and removing the veil from its face, disclosed to +their eyes the shape of Death itself, fleshless and hideous, at which +sight Don Quixote felt uneasy, Sancho frightened, and the duke and +duchess displayed a certain trepidation. Having risen to its feet, this +living death, in a sleepy voice and with a tongue hardly awake, held +forth as follows: + +poem{ + +I am that Merlin who the legends say +The devil had for father, and the lie +Hath gathered credence with the lapse of time. +Of magic prince, of Zoroastric lore +Monarch and treasurer, with jealous eye +I view the efforts of the age to hide +The gallant deeds of doughty errant knights, +Who are, and ever have been, dear to me. + Enchanters and magicians and their kind + +Are mostly hard of heart; not so am I; +For mine is tender, soft, compassionate, +And its delight is doing good to all. +In the dim caverns of the gloomy Dis, +Where, tracing mystic lines and characters, +My soul abideth now, there came to me +The sorrow-laden plaint of her, the fair, +The peerless Dulcinea del Toboso. +I knew of her enchantment and her fate, +From high-born dame to peasant wench transformed +And touched with pity, first I turned the leaves +Of countless volumes of my devilish craft, +And then, in this grim grisly skeleton +Myself encasing, hither have I come +To show where lies the fitting remedy +To give relief in such a piteous case. + O thou, the pride and pink of all that wear + +The adamantine steel! O shining light, +O beacon, polestar, path and guide of all +Who, scorning slumber and the lazy down, +Adopt the toilsome life of bloodstained arms! +To thee, great hero who all praise transcends, +La Mancha's lustre and Iberia's star, +Don Quixote, wise as brave, to thee I say-- +For peerless Dulcinea del Toboso +Her pristine form and beauty to regain, +'T is needful that thy esquire Sancho shall, +On his own sturdy buttocks bared to heaven, +Three thousand and three hundred lashes lay, +And that they smart and sting and hurt him well. +Thus have the authors of her woe resolved. +And this is, gentles, wherefore I have come. + +}poem + +"By all that's good," exclaimed Sancho at this, "I'll just as soon give +myself three stabs with a dagger as three, not to say three thousand, +lashes. The devil take such a way of disenchanting! I don't see what my +backside has got to do with enchantments. By God, if Senor Merlin has not +found out some other way of disenchanting the lady Dulcinea del Toboso, +she may go to her grave enchanted." + +"But I'll take you, Don Clown stuffed with garlic," said Don Quixote, +"and tie you to a tree as naked as when your mother brought you forth, +and give you, not to say three thousand three hundred, but six thousand +six hundred lashes, and so well laid on that they won't be got rid of if +you try three thousand three hundred times; don't answer me a word or +I'll tear your soul out." + +On hearing this Merlin said, "That will not do, for the lashes worthy +Sancho has to receive must be given of his own free will and not by +force, and at whatever time he pleases, for there is no fixed limit +assigned to him; but it is permitted him, if he likes to commute by half +the pain of this whipping, to let them be given by the hand of another, +though it may be somewhat weighty." + +"Not a hand, my own or anybody else's, weighty or weighable, shall touch +me," said Sancho. "Was it I that gave birth to the lady Dulcinea del +Toboso, that my backside is to pay for the sins of her eyes? My master, +indeed, that's a part of her--for, he's always calling her 'my life' and +'my soul,' and his stay and prop--may and ought to whip himself for her +and take all the trouble required for her disenchantment. But for me to +whip myself! Abernuncio!" + +As soon as Sancho had done speaking the nymph in silver that was at the +side of Merlin's ghost stood up, and removing the thin veil from her face +disclosed one that seemed to all something more than exceedingly +beautiful; and with a masculine freedom from embarrassment and in a voice +not very like a lady's, addressing Sancho directly, said, "Thou wretched +squire, soul of a pitcher, heart of a cork tree, with bowels of flint and +pebbles; if, thou impudent thief, they bade thee throw thyself down from +some lofty tower; if, enemy of mankind, they asked thee to swallow a +dozen of toads, two of lizards, and three of adders; if they wanted thee +to slay thy wife and children with a sharp murderous scimitar, it would +be no wonder for thee to show thyself stubborn and squeamish. But to make +a piece of work about three thousand three hundred lashes, what every +poor little charity-boy gets every month--it is enough to amaze, +astonish, astound the compassionate bowels of all who hear it, nay, all +who come to hear it in the course of time. Turn, O miserable, +hard-hearted animal, turn, I say, those timorous owl's eyes upon these of +mine that are compared to radiant stars, and thou wilt see them weeping +trickling streams and rills, and tracing furrows, tracks, and paths over +the fair fields of my cheeks. Let it move thee, crafty, ill-conditioned +monster, to see my blooming youth--still in its teens, for I am not yet +twenty--wasting and withering away beneath the husk of a rude peasant +wench; and if I do not appear in that shape now, it is a special favour +Senor Merlin here has granted me, to the sole end that my beauty may +soften thee; for the tears of beauty in distress turn rocks into cotton +and tigers into ewes. Lay on to that hide of thine, thou great untamed +brute, rouse up thy lusty vigour that only urges thee to eat and eat, and +set free the softness of my flesh, the gentleness of my nature, and the +fairness of my face. And if thou wilt not relent or come to reason for +me, do so for the sake of that poor knight thou hast beside thee; thy +master I mean, whose soul I can this moment see, how he has it stuck in +his throat not ten fingers from his lips, and only waiting for thy +inflexible or yielding reply to make its escape by his mouth or go back +again into his stomach." + +Don Quixote on hearing this felt his throat, and turning to the duke he +said, "By God, senor, Dulcinea says true, I have my soul stuck here in my +throat like the nut of a crossbow." + +"What say you to this, Sancho?" said the duchess. + +"I say, senora," returned Sancho, "what I said before; as for the lashes, +abernuncio!" + +"Abrenuncio, you should say, Sancho, and not as you do," said the duke. + +"Let me alone, your highness," said Sancho. "I'm not in a humour now to +look into niceties or a letter more or less, for these lashes that are to +be given me, or I'm to give myself, have so upset me, that I don't know +what I'm saying or doing. But I'd like to know of this lady, my lady +Dulcinea del Toboso, where she learned this way she has of asking +favours. She comes to ask me to score my flesh with lashes, and she calls +me soul of a pitcher, and great untamed brute, and a string of foul names +that the devil is welcome to. Is my flesh brass? or is it anything to me +whether she is enchanted or not? Does she bring with her a basket of fair +linen, shirts, kerchiefs, socks-not that wear any--to coax me? No, +nothing but one piece of abuse after another, though she knows the +proverb they have here that 'an ass loaded with gold goes lightly up a +mountain,' and that 'gifts break rocks,' and 'praying to God and plying +the hammer,' and that 'one "take" is better than two "I'll give thee's."' +Then there's my master, who ought to stroke me down and pet me to make me +turn wool and carded cotton; he says if he gets hold of me he'll tie me +naked to a tree and double the tale of lashes on me. These tender-hearted +gentry should consider that it's not merely a squire, but a governor they +are asking to whip himself; just as if it was 'drink with cherries.' Let +them learn, plague take them, the right way to ask, and beg, and behave +themselves; for all times are not alike, nor are people always in good +humour. I'm now ready to burst with grief at seeing my green coat torn, +and they come to ask me to whip myself of my own free will, I having as +little fancy for it as for turning cacique." + +"Well then, the fact is, friend Sancho," said the duke, "that unless you +become softer than a ripe fig, you shall not get hold of the government. +It would be a nice thing for me to send my islanders a cruel governor +with flinty bowels, who won't yield to the tears of afflicted damsels or +to the prayers of wise, magisterial, ancient enchanters and sages. In +short, Sancho, either you must be whipped by yourself, or they must whip +you, or you shan't be governor." + +"Senor," said Sancho, "won't two days' grace be given me in which to +consider what is best for me?" + +"No, certainly not," said Merlin; "here, this minute, and on the spot, +the matter must be settled; either Dulcinea will return to the cave of +Montesinos and to her former condition of peasant wench, or else in her +present form shall be carried to the Elysian fields, where she will +remain waiting until the number of stripes is completed." + +"Now then, Sancho!" said the duchess, "show courage, and gratitude for +your master Don Quixote's bread that you have eaten; we are all bound to +oblige and please him for his benevolent disposition and lofty chivalry. +Consent to this whipping, my son; to the devil with the devil, and leave +fear to milksops, for 'a stout heart breaks bad luck,' as you very well +know." + +To this Sancho replied with an irrelevant remark, which, addressing +Merlin, he made to him, "Will your worship tell me, Senor Merlin--when +that courier devil came up he gave my master a message from Senor +Montesinos, charging him to wait for him here, as he was coming to +arrange how the lady Dona Dulcinea del Toboso was to be disenchanted; but +up to the present we have not seen Montesinos, nor anything like him." + +To which Merlin made answer, "The devil, Sancho, is a blockhead and a +great scoundrel; I sent him to look for your master, but not with a +message from Montesinos but from myself; for Montesinos is in his cave +expecting, or more properly speaking, waiting for his disenchantment; for +there's the tail to be skinned yet for him; if he owes you anything, or +you have any business to transact with him, I'll bring him to you and put +him where you choose; but for the present make up your mind to consent to +this penance, and believe me it will be very good for you, for soul as +well for body--for your soul because of the charity with which you +perform it, for your body because I know that you are of a sanguine habit +and it will do you no harm to draw a little blood." + +"There are a great many doctors in the world; even the enchanters are +doctors," said Sancho; "however, as everybody tells me the same +thing--though I can't see it myself--I say I am willing to give myself +the three thousand three hundred lashes, provided I am to lay them on +whenever I like, without any fixing of days or times; and I'll try and +get out of debt as quickly as I can, that the world may enjoy the beauty +of the lady Dulcinea del Toboso; as it seems, contrary to what I thought, +that she is beautiful after all. It must be a condition, too, that I am +not to be bound to draw blood with the scourge, and that if any of the +lashes happen to be fly-flappers they are to count. Item, that, in case I +should make any mistake in the reckoning, Senor Merlin, as he knows +everything, is to keep count, and let me know how many are still wanting +or over the number." + +"There will be no need to let you know of any over," said Merlin, +"because, when you reach the full number, the lady Dulcinea will at once, +and that very instant, be disenchanted, and will come in her gratitude to +seek out the worthy Sancho, and thank him, and even reward him for the +good work. So you have no cause to be uneasy about stripes too many or +too few; heaven forbid I should cheat anyone of even a hair of his head." + +"Well then, in God's hands be it," said Sancho; "in the hard case I'm in +I give in; I say I accept the penance on the conditions laid down." + +The instant Sancho uttered these last words the music of the clarions +struck up once more, and again a host of muskets were discharged, and Don +Quixote hung on Sancho's neck kissing him again and again on the forehead +and cheeks. The duchess and the duke expressed the greatest satisfaction, +the car began to move on, and as it passed the fair Dulcinea bowed to the +duke and duchess and made a low curtsey to Sancho. + +And now bright smiling dawn came on apace; the flowers of the field, +revived, raised up their heads, and the crystal waters of the brooks, +murmuring over the grey and white pebbles, hastened to pay their tribute +to the expectant rivers; the glad earth, the unclouded sky, the fresh +breeze, the clear light, each and all showed that the day that came +treading on the skirts of morning would be calm and bright. The duke and +duchess, pleased with their hunt and at having carried out their plans so +cleverly and successfully, returned to their castle resolved to follow up +their joke; for to them there was no reality that could afford them more +amusement. + +Chapter XXXVI. - +Wherein is related the strange and undreamt-of adventure of the +distressed Duenna, alias the countess Trifaldi, together with a letter +which Sancho Panza wrote to his wife, Teresa Panza + +The duke had a majordomo of a very facetious and sportive turn, and he it +was that played the part of Merlin, made all the arrangements for the +late adventure, composed the verses, and got a page to represent +Dulcinea; and now, with the assistance of his master and mistress, he got +up another of the drollest and strangest contrivances that can be +imagined. + +The duchess asked Sancho the next day if he had made a beginning with his +penance task which he had to perform for the disenchantment of Dulcinea. +He said he had, and had given himself five lashes overnight. + +The duchess asked him what he had given them with. + +He said with his hand. + +"That," said the duchess, "is more like giving oneself slaps than lashes; +I am sure the sage Merlin will not be satisfied with such tenderness; +worthy Sancho must make a scourge with claws, or a cat-o'-nine tails, +that will make itself felt; for it's with blood that letters enter, and +the release of so great a lady as Dulcinea will not be granted so +cheaply, or at such a paltry price; and remember, Sancho, that works of +charity done in a lukewarm and half-hearted way are without merit and of +no avail." + +To which Sancho replied, "If your ladyship will give me a proper scourge +or cord, I'll lay on with it, provided it does not hurt too much; for you +must know, boor as I am, my flesh is more cotton than hemp, and it won't +do for me to destroy myself for the good of anybody else." + +"So be it by all means," said the duchess; "tomorrow I'll give you a +scourge that will be just the thing for you, and will accommodate itself +to the tenderness of your flesh, as if it was its own sister." + +Then said Sancho, "Your highness must know, dear lady of my soul, that I +have a letter written to my wife, Teresa Panza, giving her an account of +all that has happened me since I left her; I have it here in my bosom, +and there's nothing wanting but to put the address to it; I'd be glad if +your discretion would read it, for I think it runs in the governor style; +I mean the way governors ought to write." + +"And who dictated it?" asked the duchess. + +"Who should have dictated but myself, sinner as I am?" said Sancho. + +"And did you write it yourself?" said the duchess. + +"That I didn't," said Sancho; "for I can neither read nor write, though I +can sign my name." + +"Let us see it," said the duchess, "for never fear but you display in it +the quality and quantity of your wit." + +Sancho drew out an open letter from his bosom, and the duchess, taking +it, found it ran in this fashion: + +SANCHO PANZA'S LETTER TO HIS WIFE, TERESA PANZA + +If I was well whipped I went mounted like a gentleman; if I have got a +good government it is at the cost of a good whipping. Thou wilt not +understand this just now, my Teresa; by-and-by thou wilt know what it +means. I may tell thee, Teresa, I mean thee to go in a coach, for that is +a matter of importance, because every other way of going is going on +all-fours. Thou art a governor's wife; take care that nobody speaks evil +of thee behind thy back. I send thee here a green hunting suit that my +lady the duchess gave me; alter it so as to make a petticoat and bodice +for our daughter. Don Quixote, my master, if I am to believe what I hear +in these parts, is a madman of some sense, and a droll blockhead, and I +am no way behind him. We have been in the cave of Montesinos, and the +sage Merlin has laid hold of me for the disenchantment of Dulcinea del +Toboso, her that is called Aldonza Lorenzo over there. With three +thousand three hundred lashes, less five, that I'm to give myself, she +will be left as entirely disenchanted as the mother that bore her. Say +nothing of this to anyone; for, make thy affairs public, and some will +say they are white and others will say they are black. I shall leave this +in a few days for my government, to which I am going with a mighty great +desire to make money, for they tell me all new governors set out with the +same desire; I will feel the pulse of it and will let thee know if thou +art to come and live with me or not. Dapple is well and sends many +remembrances to thee; I am not going to leave him behind though they took +me away to be Grand Turk. My lady the duchess kisses thy hands a thousand +times; do thou make a return with two thousand, for as my master says, +nothing costs less or is cheaper than civility. God has not been pleased +to provide another valise for me with another hundred crowns, like the +one the other day; but never mind, my Teresa, the bell-ringer is in safe +quarters, and all will come out in the scouring of the government; only +it troubles me greatly what they tell me--that once I have tasted it I +will eat my hands off after it; and if that is so it will not come very +cheap to me; though to be sure the maimed have a benefice of their own in +the alms they beg for; so that one way or another thou wilt be rich and +in luck. God give it to thee as he can, and keep me to serve thee. From +this castle, the 20th of July, 1614. + +Thy husband, the governor. + +SANCHO PANZA + +When she had done reading the letter the duchess said to Sancho, "On two +points the worthy governor goes rather astray; one is in saying or +hinting that this government has been bestowed upon him for the lashes +that he is to give himself, when he knows (and he cannot deny it) that +when my lord the duke promised it to him nobody ever dreamt of such a +thing as lashes; the other is that he shows himself here to be very +covetous; and I would not have him a money-seeker, for 'covetousness +bursts the bag,' and the covetous governor does ungoverned justice." + +"I don't mean it that way, senora," said Sancho; "and if you think the +letter doesn't run as it ought to do, it's only to tear it up and make +another; and maybe it will be a worse one if it is left to my gumption." + +"No, no," said the duchess, "this one will do, and I wish the duke to see +it." + +With this they betook themselves to a garden where they were to dine, and +the duchess showed Sancho's letter to the duke, who was highly delighted +with it. They dined, and after the cloth had been removed and they had +amused themselves for a while with Sancho's rich conversation, the +melancholy sound of a fife and harsh discordant drum made itself heard. +All seemed somewhat put out by this dull, confused, martial harmony, +especially Don Quixote, who could not keep his seat from pure +disquietude; as to Sancho, it is needless to say that fear drove him to +his usual refuge, the side or the skirts of the duchess; and indeed and +in truth the sound they heard was a most doleful and melancholy one. +While they were still in uncertainty they saw advancing towards them +through the garden two men clad in mourning robes so long and flowing +that they trailed upon the ground. As they marched they beat two great +drums which were likewise draped in black, and beside them came the fife +player, black and sombre like the others. Following these came a +personage of gigantic stature enveloped rather than clad in a gown of the +deepest black, the skirt of which was of prodigious dimensions. Over the +gown, girdling or crossing his figure, he had a broad baldric which was +also black, and from which hung a huge scimitar with a black scabbard and +furniture. He had his face covered with a transparent black veil, through +which might be descried a very long beard as white as snow. He came on +keeping step to the sound of the drums with great gravity and dignity; +and, in short, his stature, his gait, the sombreness of his appearance +and his following might well have struck with astonishment, as they did, +all who beheld him without knowing who he was. With this measured pace +and in this guise he advanced to kneel before the duke, who, with the +others, awaited him standing. The duke, however, would not on any account +allow him to speak until he had risen. The prodigious scarecrow obeyed, +and standing up, removed the veil from his face and disclosed the most +enormous, the longest, the whitest and the thickest beard that human eyes +had ever beheld until that moment, and then fetching up a grave, sonorous +voice from the depths of his broad, capacious chest, and fixing his eyes +on the duke, he said: + +"Most high and mighty senor, my name is Trifaldin of the White Beard; I +am squire to the Countess Trifaldi, otherwise called the Distressed +Duenna, on whose behalf I bear a message to your highness, which is that +your magnificence will be pleased to grant her leave and permission to +come and tell you her trouble, which is one of the strangest and most +wonderful that the mind most familiar with trouble in the world could +have imagined; but first she desires to know if the valiant and never +vanquished knight, Don Quixote of La Mancha, is in this your castle, for +she has come in quest of him on foot and without breaking her fast from +the kingdom of Kandy to your realms here; a thing which may and ought to +be regarded as a miracle or set down to enchantment; she is even now at +the gate of this fortress or plaisance, and only waits for your +permission to enter. I have spoken." And with that he coughed, and +stroked down his beard with both his hands, and stood very tranquilly +waiting for the response of the duke, which was to this effect: "Many +days ago, worthy squire Trifaldin of the White Beard, we heard of the +misfortune of my lady the Countess Trifaldi, whom the enchanters have +caused to be called the Distressed Duenna. Bid her enter, O stupendous +squire, and tell her that the valiant knight Don Quixote of La Mancha is +here, and from his generous disposition she may safely promise herself +every protection and assistance; and you may tell her, too, that if my +aid be necessary it will not be withheld, for I am bound to give it to +her by my quality of knight, which involves the protection of women of +all sorts, especially widowed, wronged, and distressed dames, such as her +ladyship seems to be." + +On hearing this Trifaldin bent the knee to the ground, and making a sign +to the fifer and drummers to strike up, he turned and marched out of the +garden to the same notes and at the same pace as when he entered, leaving +them all amazed at his bearing and solemnity. Turning to Don Quixote, the +duke said, "After all, renowned knight, the mists of malice and ignorance +are unable to hide or obscure the light of valour and virtue. I say so, +because your excellence has been barely six days in this castle, and +already the unhappy and the afflicted come in quest of you from lands far +distant and remote, and not in coaches or on dromedaries, but on foot and +fasting, confident that in that mighty arm they will find a cure for +their sorrows and troubles; thanks to your great achievements, which are +circulated all over the known earth." + +"I wish, senor duke," replied Don Quixote, "that blessed ecclesiastic, +who at table the other day showed such ill-will and bitter spite against +knights-errant, were here now to see with his own eyes whether knights of +the sort are needed in the world; he would at any rate learn by +experience that those suffering any extraordinary affliction or sorrow, +in extreme cases and unusual misfortunes do not go to look for a remedy +to the houses of jurists or village sacristans, or to the knight who has +never attempted to pass the bounds of his own town, or to the indolent +courtier who only seeks for news to repeat and talk of, instead of +striving to do deeds and exploits for others to relate and record. Relief +in distress, help in need, protection for damsels, consolation for +widows, are to be found in no sort of persons better than in +knights-errant; and I give unceasing thanks to heaven that I am one, and +regard any misfortune or suffering that may befall me in the pursuit of +so honourable a calling as endured to good purpose. Let this duenna come +and ask what she will, for I will effect her relief by the might of my +arm and the dauntless resolution of my bold heart." + +Chapter XXXVII. - +Wherein is continued the notable adventure of the distressed Duenna + +The duke and duchess were extremely glad to see how readily Don Quixote +fell in with their scheme; but at this moment Sancho observed, "I hope +this senora duenna won't be putting any difficulties in the way of the +promise of my government; for I have heard a Toledo apothecary, who +talked like a goldfinch, say that where duennas were mixed up nothing +good could happen. God bless me, how he hated them, that same apothecary! +And so what I'm thinking is, if all duennas, of whatever sort or +condition they may be, are plagues and busybodies, what must they be that +are distressed, like this Countess Three-skirts or Three-tails!--for in +my country skirts or tails, tails or skirts, it's all one." + +"Hush, friend Sancho," said Don Quixote; "since this lady duenna comes in +quest of me from such a distant land she cannot be one of those the +apothecary meant; moreover this is a countess, and when countesses serve +as duennas it is in the service of queens and empresses, for in their own +houses they are mistresses paramount and have other duennas to wait on +them." + +To this Dona Rodriguez, who was present, made answer, "My lady the +duchess has duennas in her service that might be countesses if it was the +will of fortune; 'but laws go as kings like;' let nobody speak ill of +duennas, above all of ancient maiden ones; for though I am not one +myself, I know and am aware of the advantage a maiden duenna has over one +that is a widow; but 'he who clipped us has kept the scissors.'" + +"For all that," said Sancho, "there's so much to be clipped about +duennas, so my barber said, that 'it will be better not to stir the rice +even though it sticks.'" + +"These squires," returned Dona Rodriguez, "are always our enemies; and as +they are the haunting spirits of the antechambers and watch us at every +step, whenever they are not saying their prayers (and that's often +enough) they spend their time in tattling about us, digging up our bones +and burying our good name. But I can tell these walking blocks that we +will live in spite of them, and in great houses too, though we die of +hunger and cover our flesh, be it delicate or not, with widow's weeds, as +one covers or hides a dunghill on a procession day. By my faith, if it +were permitted me and time allowed, I could prove, not only to those here +present, but to all the world, that there is no virtue that is not to be +found in a duenna." + +"I have no doubt," said the duchess, "that my good Dona Rodriguez is +right, and very much so; but she had better bide her time for fighting +her own battle and that of the rest of the duennas, so as to crush the +calumny of that vile apothecary, and root out the prejudice in the great +Sancho Panza's mind." + +To which Sancho replied, "Ever since I have sniffed the governorship I +have got rid of the humours of a squire, and I don't care a wild fig for +all the duennas in the world." + +They would have carried on this duenna dispute further had they not heard +the notes of the fife and drums once more, from which they concluded that +the Distressed Duenna was making her entrance. The duchess asked the duke +if it would be proper to go out to receive her, as she was a countess and +a person of rank. + +"In respect of her being a countess," said Sancho, before the duke could +reply, "I am for your highnesses going out to receive her; but in respect +of her being a duenna, it is my opinion you should not stir a step." + +"Who bade thee meddle in this, Sancho?" said Don Quixote. + +"Who, senor?" said Sancho; "I meddle for I have a right to meddle, as a +squire who has learned the rules of courtesy in the school of your +worship, the most courteous and best-bred knight in the whole world of +courtliness; and in these things, as I have heard your worship say, as +much is lost by a card too many as by a card too few, and to one who has +his ears open, few words." + +"Sancho is right," said the duke; "we'll see what the countess is like, +and by that measure the courtesy that is due to her." + +And now the drums and fife made their entrance as before; and here the +author brought this short chapter to an end and began the next, following +up the same adventure, which is one of the most notable in the history. + +Chapter XXXVIII. - +Wherein is told the distressed Duenna's tale of her misfortunes + +Following the melancholy musicians there filed into the garden as many as +twelve duennas, in two lines, all dressed in ample mourning robes +apparently of milled serge, with hoods of fine white gauze so long that +they allowed only the border of the robe to be seen. Behind them came the +Countess Trifaldi, the squire Trifaldin of the White Beard leading her by +the hand, clad in the finest unnapped black baize, such that, had it a +nap, every tuft would have shown as big as a Martos chickpea; the tail, +or skirt, or whatever it might be called, ended in three points which +were borne up by the hands of three pages, likewise dressed in mourning, +forming an elegant geometrical figure with the three acute angles made by +the three points, from which all who saw the peaked skirt concluded that +it must be because of it the countess was called Trifaldi, as though it +were Countess of the Three Skirts; and Benengeli says it was so, and that +by her right name she was called the Countess Lobuna, because wolves bred +in great numbers in her country; and if, instead of wolves, they had been +foxes, she would have been called the Countess Zorruna, as it was the +custom in those parts for lords to take distinctive titles from the thing +or things most abundant in their dominions; this countess, however, in +honour of the new fashion of her skirt, dropped Lobuna and took up +Trifaldi. + +The twelve duennas and the lady came on at procession pace, their faces +being covered with black veils, not transparent ones like Trifaldin's, +but so close that they allowed nothing to be seen through them. As soon +as the band of duennas was fully in sight, the duke, the duchess, and Don +Quixote stood up, as well as all who were watching the slow-moving +procession. The twelve duennas halted and formed a lane, along which the +Distressed One advanced, Trifaldin still holding her hand. On seeing this +the duke, the duchess, and Don Quixote went some twelve paces forward to +meet her. She then, kneeling on the ground, said in a voice hoarse and +rough, rather than fine and delicate, "May it please your highnesses not +to offer such courtesies to this your servant, I should say to this your +handmaid, for I am in such distress that I shall never be able to make a +proper return, because my strange and unparalleled misfortune has carried +off my wits, and I know not whither; but it must be a long way off, for +the more I look for them the less I find them." + +"He would be wanting in wits, senora countess," said the duke, "who did +not perceive your worth by your person, for at a glance it may be seen it +deserves all the cream of courtesy and flower of polite usage;" and +raising her up by the hand he led her to a seat beside the duchess, who +likewise received her with great urbanity. Don Quixote remained silent, +while Sancho was dying to see the features of Trifaldi and one or two of +her many duennas; but there was no possibility of it until they +themselves displayed them of their own accord and free will. + +All kept still, waiting to see who would break silence, which the +Distressed Duenna did in these words: "I am confident, most mighty lord, +most fair lady, and most discreet company, that my most miserable misery +will be accorded a reception no less dispassionate than generous and +condolent in your most valiant bosoms, for it is one that is enough to +melt marble, soften diamonds, and mollify the steel of the most hardened +hearts in the world; but ere it is proclaimed to your hearing, not to say +your ears, I would fain be enlightened whether there be present in this +society, circle, or company, that knight immaculatissimus, Don Quixote de +la Manchissima, and his squirissimus Panza." + +"The Panza is here," said Sancho, before anyone could reply, "and Don +Quixotissimus too; and so, most distressedest Duenissima, you may say +what you willissimus, for we are all readissimus to do you any +servissimus." + +On this Don Quixote rose, and addressing the Distressed Duenna, said, "If +your sorrows, afflicted lady, can indulge in any hope of relief from the +valour or might of any knight-errant, here are mine, which, feeble and +limited though they be, shall be entirely devoted to your service. I am +Don Quixote of La Mancha, whose calling it is to give aid to the needy of +all sorts; and that being so, it is not necessary for you, senora, to +make any appeal to benevolence, or deal in preambles, only to tell your +woes plainly and straightforwardly: for you have hearers that will know +how, if not to remedy them, to sympathise with them." + +On hearing this, the Distressed Duenna made as though she would throw +herself at Don Quixote's feet, and actually did fall before them and +said, as she strove to embrace them, "Before these feet and legs I cast +myself, O unconquered knight, as before, what they are, the foundations +and pillars of knight-errantry; these feet I desire to kiss, for upon +their steps hangs and depends the sole remedy for my misfortune, O +valorous errant, whose veritable achievements leave behind and eclipse +the fabulous ones of the Amadises, Esplandians, and Belianises!" Then +turning from Don Quixote to Sancho Panza, and grasping his hands, she +said, "O thou, most loyal squire that ever served knight-errant in this +present age or ages past, whose goodness is more extensive than the beard +of Trifaldin my companion here of present, well mayest thou boast thyself +that, in serving the great Don Quixote, thou art serving, summed up in +one, the whole host of knights that have ever borne arms in the world. I +conjure thee, by what thou owest to thy most loyal goodness, that thou +wilt become my kind intercessor with thy master, that he speedily give +aid to this most humble and most unfortunate countess." + +To this Sancho made answer, "As to my goodness, senora, being as long and +as great as your squire's beard, it matters very little to me; may I have +my soul well bearded and moustached when it comes to quit this life, +that's the point; about beards here below I care little or nothing; but +without all these blandishments and prayers, I will beg my master (for I +know he loves me, and, besides, he has need of me just now for a certain +business) to help and aid your worship as far as he can; unpack your woes +and lay them before us, and leave us to deal with them, for we'll be all +of one mind." + +The duke and duchess, as it was they who had made the experiment of this +adventure, were ready to burst with laughter at all this, and between +themselves they commended the clever acting of the Trifaldi, who, +returning to her seat, said, "Queen Dona Maguncia reigned over the famous +kingdom of Kandy, which lies between the great Trapobana and the Southern +Sea, two leagues beyond Cape Comorin. She was the widow of King +Archipiela, her lord and husband, and of their marriage they had issue +the Princess Antonomasia, heiress of the kingdom; which Princess +Antonomasia was reared and brought up under my care and direction, I +being the oldest and highest in rank of her mother's duennas. Time +passed, and the young Antonomasia reached the age of fourteen, and such a +perfection of beauty, that nature could not raise it higher. Then, it +must not be supposed her intelligence was childish; she was as +intelligent as she was fair, and she was fairer than all the world; and +is so still, unless the envious fates and hard-hearted sisters three have +cut for her the thread of life. But that they have not, for Heaven will +not suffer so great a wrong to Earth, as it would be to pluck unripe the +grapes of the fairest vineyard on its surface. Of this beauty, to which +my poor feeble tongue has failed to do justice, countless princes, not +only of that country, but of others, were enamoured, and among them a +private gentleman, who was at the court, dared to raise his thoughts to +the heaven of so great beauty, trusting to his youth, his gallant +bearing, his numerous accomplishments and graces, and his quickness and +readiness of wit; for I may tell your highnesses, if I am not wearying +you, that he played the guitar so as to make it speak, and he was, +besides, a poet and a great dancer, and he could make birdcages so well, +that by making them alone he might have gained a livelihood, had he found +himself reduced to utter poverty; and gifts and graces of this kind are +enough to bring down a mountain, not to say a tender young girl. But all +his gallantry, wit, and gaiety, all his graces and accomplishments, would +have been of little or no avail towards gaining the fortress of my pupil, +had not the impudent thief taken the precaution of gaining me over first. +First, the villain and heartless vagabond sought to win my good-will and +purchase my compliance, so as to get me, like a treacherous warder, to +deliver up to him the keys of the fortress I had in charge. In a word, he +gained an influence over my mind, and overcame my resolutions with I know +not what trinkets and jewels he gave me; but it was some verses I heard +him singing one night from a grating that opened on the street where he +lived, that, more than anything else, made me give way and led to my +fall; and if I remember rightly they ran thus: + +poem{ + + From that sweet enemy of mine + My bleeding heart hath had its wound; + And to increase the pain I'm bound + To suffer and to make no sign. + +}poem + +The lines seemed pearls to me and his voice sweet as syrup; and +afterwards, I may say ever since then, looking at the misfortune into +which I have fallen, I have thought that poets, as Plato advised, ought +to be banished from all well-ordered States; at least the amatory ones, +for they write verses, not like those of 'The Marquis of Mantua,' that +delight and draw tears from the women and children, but sharp-pointed +conceits that pierce the heart like soft thorns, and like the lightning +strike it, leaving the raiment uninjured. Another time he sang: + +poem{ + + Come Death, so subtly veiled that I + Thy coming know not, how or when, + Lest it should give me life again + To find how sweet it is to die. + +}poem + +--and other verses and burdens of the same sort, such as enchant when +sung and fascinate when written. And then, when they condescend to +compose a sort of verse that was at that time in vogue in Kandy, which +they call seguidillas! Then it is that hearts leap and laughter breaks +forth, and the body grows restless and all the senses turn quicksilver. +And so I say, sirs, that these troubadours richly deserve to be banished +to the isles of the lizards. Though it is not they that are in fault, but +the simpletons that extol them, and the fools that believe in them; and +had I been the faithful duenna I should have been, his stale conceits +would have never moved me, nor should I have been taken in by such +phrases as 'in death I live,' 'in ice I burn,' 'in flames I shiver,' +'hopeless I hope,' 'I go and stay,' and paradoxes of that sort which +their writings are full of. And then when they promise the Phoenix of +Arabia, the crown of Ariadne, the horses of the Sun, the pearls of the +South, the gold of Tibar, and the balsam of Panchaia! Then it is they +give a loose to their pens, for it costs them little to make promises +they have no intention or power of fulfilling. But where am I wandering +to? Woe is me, unfortunate being! What madness or folly leads me to speak +of the faults of others, when there is so much to be said about my own? +Again, woe is me, hapless that I am! it was not verses that conquered me, +but my own simplicity; it was not music made me yield, but my own +imprudence; my own great ignorance and little caution opened the way and +cleared the path for Don Clavijo's advances, for that was the name of the +gentleman I have referred to; and so, with my help as go-between, he +found his way many a time into the chamber of the deceived Antonomasia +(deceived not by him but by me) under the title of a lawful husband; for, +sinner though I was, would not have allowed him to approach the edge of +her shoe-sole without being her husband. No, no, not that; marriage must +come first in any business of this sort that I take in hand. But there +was one hitch in this case, which was that of inequality of rank, Don +Clavijo being a private gentleman, and the Princess Antonomasia, as I +said, heiress to the kingdom. The entanglement remained for some time a +secret, kept hidden by my cunning precautions, until I perceived that a +certain expansion of waist in Antonomasia must before long disclose it, +the dread of which made us all there take counsel together, and it was +agreed that before the mischief came to light, Don Clavijo should demand +Antonomasia as his wife before the Vicar, in virtue of an agreement to +marry him made by the princess, and drafted by my wit in such binding +terms that the might of Samson could not have broken it. The necessary +steps were taken; the Vicar saw the agreement, and took the lady's +confession; she confessed everything in full, and he ordered her into the +custody of a very worthy alguacil of the court." + +"Are there alguacils of the court in Kandy, too," said Sancho at this, +"and poets, and seguidillas? I swear I think the world is the same all +over! But make haste, Senora Trifaldi; for it is late, and I am dying to +know the end of this long story." + +"I will," replied the countess. + +Chapter XXXIX. - +In which the Trifaldi continues her marvellous and memorable story + +By every word that Sancho uttered, the duchess was as much delighted as +Don Quixote was driven to desperation. He bade him hold his tongue, and +the Distressed One went on to say: "At length, after much questioning and +answering, as the princess held to her story, without changing or varying +her previous declaration, the Vicar gave his decision in favour of Don +Clavijo, and she was delivered over to him as his lawful wife; which the +Queen Dona Maguncia, the Princess Antonomasia's mother, so took to heart, +that within the space of three days we buried her." + +"She died, no doubt," said Sancho. + +"Of course," said Trifaldin; "they don't bury living people in Kandy, +only the dead." + +"Senor Squire," said Sancho, "a man in a swoon has been known to be +buried before now, in the belief that he was dead; and it struck me that +Queen Maguncia ought to have swooned rather than died; because with life +a great many things come right, and the princess's folly was not so great +that she need feel it so keenly. If the lady had married some page of +hers, or some other servant of the house, as many another has done, so I +have heard say, then the mischief would have been past curing. But to +marry such an elegant accomplished gentleman as has been just now +described to us--indeed, indeed, though it was a folly, it was not such a +great one as you think; for according to the rules of my master here--and +he won't allow me to lie--as of men of letters bishops are made, so of +gentlemen knights, specially if they be errant, kings and emperors may be +made." + +"Thou art right, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "for with a knight-errant, if +he has but two fingers' breadth of good fortune, it is on the cards to +become the mightiest lord on earth. But let senora the Distressed One +proceed; for I suspect she has got yet to tell us the bitter part of this +so far sweet story." + +"The bitter is indeed to come," said the countess; "and such bitter that +colocynth is sweet and oleander toothsome in comparison. The queen, then, +being dead, and not in a swoon, we buried her; and hardly had we covered +her with earth, hardly had we said our last farewells, when, quis talia +fando temperet a lachrymis? over the queen's grave there appeared, +mounted upon a wooden horse, the giant Malambruno, Maguncia's first +cousin, who besides being cruel is an enchanter; and he, to revenge the +death of his cousin, punish the audacity of Don Clavijo, and in wrath at +the contumacy of Antonomasia, left them both enchanted by his art on the +grave itself; she being changed into an ape of brass, and he into a +horrible crocodile of some unknown metal; while between the two there +stands a pillar, also of metal, with certain characters in the Syriac +language inscribed upon it, which, being translated into Kandian, and now +into Castilian, contain the following sentence: 'These two rash lovers +shall not recover their former shape until the valiant Manchegan comes to +do battle with me in single combat; for the Fates reserve this unexampled +adventure for his mighty valour alone.' This done, he drew from its +sheath a huge broad scimitar, and seizing me by the hair he made as +though he meant to cut my throat and shear my head clean off. I was +terror-stricken, my voice stuck in my throat, and I was in the deepest +distress; nevertheless I summoned up my strength as well as I could, and +in a trembling and piteous voice I addressed such words to him as induced +him to stay the infliction of a punishment so severe. He then caused all +the duennas of the palace, those that are here present, to be brought +before him; and after having dwelt upon the enormity of our offence, and +denounced duennas, their characters, their evil ways and worse intrigues, +laying to the charge of all what I alone was guilty of, he said he would +not visit us with capital punishment, but with others of a slow nature +which would be in effect civil death for ever; and the very instant he +ceased speaking we all felt the pores of our faces opening, and pricking +us, as if with the points of needles. We at once put our hands up to our +faces and found ourselves in the state you now see." + +Here the Distressed One and the other duennas raised the veils with which +they were covered, and disclosed countenances all bristling with beards, +some red, some black, some white, and some grizzled, at which spectacle +the duke and duchess made a show of being filled with wonder. Don Quixote +and Sancho were overwhelmed with amazement, and the bystanders lost in +astonishment, while the Trifaldi went on to say: "Thus did that +malevolent villain Malambruno punish us, covering the tenderness and +softness of our faces with these rough bristles! Would to heaven that he +had swept off our heads with his enormous scimitar instead of obscuring +the light of our countenances with these wool-combings that cover us! For +if we look into the matter, sirs (and what I am now going to say I would +say with eyes flowing like fountains, only that the thought of our +misfortune and the oceans they have already wept, keep them as dry as +barley spears, and so I say it without tears), where, I ask, can a duenna +with a beard to to? What father or mother will feel pity for her? Who +will help her? For, if even when she has a smooth skin, and a face +tortured by a thousand kinds of washes and cosmetics, she can hardly get +anybody to love her, what will she do when she shows a countenace turned +into a thicket? Oh duennas, companions mine! it was an unlucky moment +when we were born and an ill-starred hour when our fathers begot us!" And +as she said this she showed signs of being about to faint. + +Chapter XL. - +Of matters relating and belonging to this adventure and to this memorable +history + +Verily and truly all those who find pleasure in histories like this ought +show their gratitude to Cide Hamete, its original author, for the +scrupulous care he has taken to set before us all its minute particulars, +not leaving anything, however trifling it may be, that he does not make +clear and plain. He portrays the thoughts, he reveals the fancies, he +answers implied questions, clears up doubts, sets objections at rest, +and, in a word, makes plain the smallest points the most inquisitive can +desire to know. O renowned author! O happy Don Quixote! O famous famous +droll Sancho! All and each, may ye live countless ages for the delight +and amusement of the dwellers on earth! + +The history goes on to say that when Sancho saw the Distressed One faint +he exclaimed: "I swear by the faith of an honest man and the shades of +all my ancestors the Panzas, that never I did see or hear of, nor has my +master related or conceived in his mind, such an adventure as this. A +thousand devils--not to curse thee--take thee, Malambruno, for an +enchanter and a giant! Couldst thou find no other sort of punishment for +these sinners but bearding them? Would it not have been better--it would +have been better for them--to have taken off half their noses from the +middle upwards, even though they'd have snuffled when they spoke, than to +have put beards on them? I'll bet they have not the means of paying +anybody to shave them." + +"That is the truth, senor," said one of the twelve; "we have not the +money to get ourselves shaved, and so we have, some of us, taken to using +sticking-plasters by way of an economical remedy, for by applying them to +our faces and plucking them off with a jerk we are left as bare and +smooth as the bottom of a stone mortar. There are, to be sure, women in +Kandy that go about from house to house to remove down, and trim +eyebrows, and make cosmetics for the use of the women, but we, the +duennas of my lady, would never let them in, for most of them have a +flavour of agents that have ceased to be principals; and if we are not +relieved by Senor Don Quixote we shall be carried to our graves with +beards." + +"I will pluck out my own in the land of the Moors," said Don Quixote, "if +I don't cure yours." + +At this instant the Trifaldi recovered from her swoon and said, "The +chink of that promise, valiant knight, reached my ears in the midst of my +swoon, and has been the means of reviving me and bringing back my senses; +and so once more I implore you, illustrious errant, indomitable sir, to +let your gracious promises be turned into deeds." + +"There shall be no delay on my part," said Don Quixote. "Bethink you, +senora, of what I must do, for my heart is most eager to serve you." + +"The fact is," replied the Distressed One, "it is five thousand leagues, +a couple more or less, from this to the kingdom of Kandy, if you go by +land; but if you go through the air and in a straight line, it is three +thousand two hundred and twenty-seven. You must know, too, that +Malambruno told me that, whenever fate provided the knight our deliverer, +he himself would send him a steed far better and with less tricks than a +post-horse; for he will be that same wooden horse on which the valiant +Pierres carried off the fair Magalona; which said horse is guided by a +peg he has in his forehead that serves for a bridle, and flies through +the air with such rapidity that you would fancy the very devils were +carrying him. This horse, according to ancient tradition, was made by +Merlin. He lent him to Pierres, who was a friend of his, and who made +long journeys with him, and, as has been said, carried off the fair +Magalona, bearing her through the air on its haunches and making all who +beheld them from the earth gape with astonishment; and he never lent him +save to those whom he loved or those who paid him well; and since the +great Pierres we know of no one having mounted him until now. From him +Malambruno stole him by his magic art, and he has him now in his +possession, and makes use of him in his journeys which he constantly +makes through different parts of the world; he is here to-day, to-morrow +in France, and the next day in Potosi; and the best of it is the said +horse neither eats nor sleeps nor wears out shoes, and goes at an ambling +pace through the air without wings, so that he whom he has mounted upon +him can carry a cup full of water in his hand without spilling a drop, so +smoothly and easily does he go, for which reason the fair Magalona +enjoyed riding him greatly." + +"For going smoothly and easily," said Sancho at this, "give me my Dapple, +though he can't go through the air; but on the ground I'll back him +against all the amblers in the world." + +They all laughed, and the Distressed One continued: "And this same horse, +if so be that Malambruno is disposed to put an end to our sufferings, +will be here before us ere the night shall have advanced half an hour; +for he announced to me that the sign he would give me whereby I might +know that I had found the knight I was in quest of, would be to send me +the horse wherever he might be, speedily and promptly." + +"And how many is there room for on this horse?" asked Sancho. + +"Two," said the Distressed One, "one in the saddle, and the other on the +croup; and generally these two are knight and squire, when there is no +damsel that's being carried off." + +"I'd like to know, Senora Distressed One," said Sancho, "what is the name +of this horse?" + +"His name," said the Distressed One, "is not the same as Bellerophon's +horse that was called Pegasus, or Alexander the Great's, called +Bucephalus, or Orlando Furioso's, the name of which was Brigliador, nor +yet Bayard, the horse of Reinaldos of Montalvan, nor Frontino like +Ruggiero's, nor Bootes or Peritoa, as they say the horses of the sun were +called, nor is he called Orelia, like the horse on which the unfortunate +Rodrigo, the last king of the Goths, rode to the battle where he lost his +life and his kingdom." + +"I'll bet," said Sancho, "that as they have given him none of these +famous names of well-known horses, no more have they given him the name +of my master's Rocinante, which for being apt surpasses all that have +been mentioned." + +"That is true," said the bearded countess, "still it fits him very well, +for he is called Clavileno the Swift, which name is in accordance with +his being made of wood, with the peg he has in his forehead, and with the +swift pace at which he travels; and so, as far as name goes, he may +compare with the famous Rocinante." + +"I have nothing to say against his name," said Sancho; "but with what +sort of bridle or halter is he managed?" + +"I have said already," said the Trifaldi, "that it is with a peg, by +turning which to one side or the other the knight who rides him makes him +go as he pleases, either through the upper air, or skimming and almost +sweeping the earth, or else in that middle course that is sought and +followed in all well-regulated proceedings." + +"I'd like to see him," said Sancho; "but to fancy I'm going to mount him, +either in the saddle or on the croup, is to ask pears of the elm tree. A +good joke indeed! I can hardly keep my seat upon Dapple, and on a +pack-saddle softer than silk itself, and here they'd have me hold on upon +haunches of plank without pad or cushion of any sort! Gad, I have no +notion of bruising myself to get rid of anyone's beard; let each one +shave himself as best he can; I'm not going to accompany my master on any +such long journey; besides, I can't give any help to the shaving of these +beards as I can to the disenchantment of my lady Dulcinea." + +"Yes, you can, my friend," replied the Trifaldi; "and so much, that +without you, so I understand, we shall be able to do nothing." + +"In the king's name!" exclaimed Sancho, "what have squires got to do with +the adventures of their masters? Are they to have the fame of such as +they go through, and we the labour? Body o' me! if the historians would +only say, 'Such and such a knight finished such and such an adventure, +but with the help of so and so, his squire, without which it would have +been impossible for him to accomplish it;' but they write curtly, "Don +Paralipomenon of the Three Stars accomplished the adventure of the six +monsters;' without mentioning such a person as his squire, who was there +all the time, just as if there was no such being. Once more, sirs, I say +my master may go alone, and much good may it do him; and I'll stay here +in the company of my lady the duchess; and maybe when he comes back, he +will find the lady Dulcinea's affair ever so much advanced; for I mean in +leisure hours, and at idle moments, to give myself a spell of whipping +without so much as a hair to cover me." + +"For all that you must go if it be necessary, my good Sancho," said the +duchess, "for they are worthy folk who ask you; and the faces of these +ladies must not remain overgrown in this way because of your idle fears; +that would be a hard case indeed." + +"In the king's name, once more!" said Sancho; "If this charitable work +were to be done for the sake of damsels in confinement or charity-girls, +a man might expose himself to some hardships; but to bear it for the sake +of stripping beards off duennas! Devil take it! I'd sooner see them all +bearded, from the highest to the lowest, and from the most prudish to the +most affected." + +"You are very hard on duennas, Sancho my friend," said the duchess; "you +incline very much to the opinion of the Toledo apothecary. But indeed you +are wrong; there are duennas in my house that may serve as patterns of +duennas; and here is my Dona Rodriguez, who will not allow me to say +otherwise." + +"Your excellence may say it if you like," said the Rodriguez; "for God +knows the truth of everything; and whether we duennas are good or bad, +bearded or smooth, we are our mothers' daughters like other women; and as +God sent us into the world, he knows why he did, and on his mercy I rely, +and not on anybody's beard." + +"Well, Senora Rodriguez, Senora Trifaldi, and present company," said Don +Quixote, "I trust in Heaven that it will look with kindly eyes upon your +troubles, for Sancho will do as I bid him. Only let Clavileno come and +let me find myself face to face with Malambruno, and I am certain no +razor will shave you more easily than my sword shall shave Malambruno's +head off his shoulders; for 'God bears with the wicked, but not for +ever." + +"Ah!" exclaimed the Distressed One at this, "may all the stars of the +celestial regions look down upon your greatness with benign eyes, valiant +knight, and shed every prosperity and valour upon your heart, that it may +be the shield and safeguard of the abused and downtrodden race of +duennas, detested by apothecaries, sneered at by squires, and made game +of by pages. Ill betide the jade that in the flower of her youth would +not sooner become a nun than a duenna! Unfortunate beings that we are, we +duennas! Though we may be descended in the direct male line from Hector +of Troy himself, our mistresses never fail to address us as 'you' if they +think it makes queens of them. O giant Malambruno, though thou art an +enchanter, thou art true to thy promises. Send us now the peerless +Clavileno, that our misfortune may be brought to an end; for if the hot +weather sets in and these beards of ours are still there, alas for our +lot!" + +The Trifaldi said this in such a pathetic way that she drew tears from +the eyes of all and even Sancho's filled up; and he resolved in his heart +to accompany his master to the uttermost ends of the earth, if so be the +removal of the wool from those venerable countenances depended upon it. + +Chapter XLI. - +Of the arrival of Clavileno and the end of this protracted adventure + +And now night came, and with it the appointed time for the arrival of the +famous horse Clavileno, the non-appearance of which was already beginning +to make Don Quixote uneasy, for it struck him that, as Malambruno was so +long about sending it, either he himself was not the knight for whom the +adventure was reserved, or else Malambruno did not dare to meet him in +single combat. But lo! suddenly there came into the garden four wild-men +all clad in green ivy bearing on their shoulders a great wooden horse. +They placed it on its feet on the ground, and one of the wild-men said, +"Let the knight who has heart for it mount this machine." + +Here Sancho exclaimed, "I don't mount, for neither have I the heart nor +am I a knight." + +"And let the squire, if he has one," continued the wild-man, "take his +seat on the croup, and let him trust the valiant Malambruno; for by no +sword save his, nor by the malice of any other, shall he be assailed. It +is but to turn this peg the horse has in his neck, and he will bear them +through the air to where Malambruno awaits them; but lest the vast +elevation of their course should make them giddy, their eyes must be +covered until the horse neighs, which will be the sign of their having +completed their journey." + +With these words, leaving Clavileno behind them, they retired with easy +dignity the way they came. As soon as the Distressed One saw the horse, +almost in tears she exclaimed to Don Quixote, "Valiant knight, the +promise of Malambruno has proved trustworthy; the horse has come, our +beards are growing, and by every hair in them all of us implore thee to +shave and shear us, as it is only mounting him with thy squire and making +a happy beginning with your new journey." + +"That I will, Senora Countess Trifaldi," said Don Quixote, "most gladly +and with right goodwill, without stopping to take a cushion or put on my +spurs, so as not to lose time, such is my desire to see you and all these +duennas shaved clean." + +"That I won't," said Sancho, "with good-will or bad-will, or any way at +all; and if this shaving can't be done without my mounting on the croup, +my master had better look out for another squire to go with him, and +these ladies for some other way of making their faces smooth; I'm no +witch to have a taste for travelling through the air. What would my +islanders say when they heard their governor was going, strolling about +on the winds? And another thing, as it is three thousand and odd leagues +from this to Kandy, if the horse tires, or the giant takes huff, we'll be +half a dozen years getting back, and there won't be isle or island in the +world that will know me: and so, as it is a common saying 'in delay +there's danger,' and 'when they offer thee a heifer run with a halter,' +these ladies' beards must excuse me; 'Saint Peter is very well in Rome;' +I mean I am very well in this house where so much is made of me, and I +hope for such a good thing from the master as to see myself a governor." + +"Friend Sancho," said the duke at this, "the island that I have promised +you is not a moving one, or one that will run away; it has roots so +deeply buried in the bowels of the earth that it will be no easy matter +to pluck it up or shift it from where it is; you know as well as I do +that there is no sort of office of any importance that is not obtained by +a bribe of some kind, great or small; well then, that which I look to +receive for this government is that you go with your master Don Quixote, +and bring this memorable adventure to a conclusion; and whether you +return on Clavileno as quickly as his speed seems to promise, or adverse +fortune brings you back on foot travelling as a pilgrim from hostel to +hostel and from inn to inn, you will always find your island on your +return where you left it, and your islanders with the same eagerness they +have always had to receive you as their governor, and my good-will will +remain the same; doubt not the truth of this, Senor Sancho, for that +would be grievously wronging my disposition to serve you." + +"Say no more, senor," said Sancho; "I am a poor squire and not equal to +carrying so much courtesy; let my master mount; bandage my eyes and +commit me to God's care, and tell me if I may commend myself to our Lord +or call upon the angels to protect me when we go towering up there." + +To this the Trifaldi made answer, "Sancho, you may freely commend +yourself to God or whom you will; for Malambruno though an enchanter is a +Christian, and works his enchantments with great circumspection, taking +very good care not to fall out with anyone." + +"Well then," said Sancho, "God and the most holy Trinity of Gaeta give me +help!" + +"Since the memorable adventure of the fulling mills," said Don Quixote, +"I have never seen Sancho in such a fright as now; were I as +superstitious as others his abject fear would cause me some little +trepidation of spirit. But come here, Sancho, for with the leave of these +gentles I would say a word or two to thee in private;" and drawing Sancho +aside among the trees of the garden and seizing both his hands he said, +"Thou seest, brother Sancho, the long journey we have before us, and God +knows when we shall return, or what leisure or opportunities this +business will allow us; I wish thee therefore to retire now to thy +chamber, as though thou wert going to fetch something required for the +road, and in a trice give thyself if it be only five hundred lashes on +account of the three thousand three hundred to which thou art bound; it +will be all to the good, and to make a beginning with a thing is to have +it half finished." + +"By God," said Sancho, "but your worship must be out of your senses! This +is like the common saying, 'You see me with child, and you want me a +virgin.' Just as I'm about to go sitting on a bare board, your worship +would have me score my backside! Indeed, your worship is not reasonable. +Let us be off to shave these duennas; and on our return I promise on my +word to make such haste to wipe off all that's due as will satisfy your +worship; I can't say more." + +"Well, I will comfort myself with that promise, my good Sancho," replied +Don Quixote, "and I believe thou wilt keep it; for indeed though stupid +thou art veracious." + +"I'm not voracious," said Sancho, "only peckish; but even if I was a +little, still I'd keep my word." + +With this they went back to mount Clavileno, and as they were about to do +so Don Quixote said, "Cover thine eyes, Sancho, and mount; for one who +sends for us from lands so far distant cannot mean to deceive us for the +sake of the paltry glory to be derived from deceiving persons who trust +in him; though all should turn out the contrary of what I hope, no malice +will be able to dim the glory of having undertaken this exploit." + +"Let us be off, senor," said Sancho, "for I have taken the beards and +tears of these ladies deeply to heart, and I shan't eat a bit to relish +it until I have seen them restored to their former smoothness. Mount, +your worship, and blindfold yourself, for if I am to go on the croup, it +is plain the rider in the saddle must mount first." + +"That is true," said Don Quixote, and, taking a handkerchief out of his +pocket, he begged the Distressed One to bandage his eyes very carefully; +but after having them bandaged he uncovered them again, saying, "If my +memory does not deceive me, I have read in Virgil of the Palladium of +Troy, a wooden horse the Greeks offered to the goddess Pallas, which was +big with armed knights, who were afterwards the destruction of Troy; so +it would be as well to see, first of all, what Clavileno has in his +stomach." + +"There is no occasion," said the Distressed One; "I will be bail for him, +and I know that Malambruno has nothing tricky or treacherous about him; +you may mount without any fear, Senor Don Quixote; on my head be it if +any harm befalls you." + +Don Quixote thought that to say anything further with regard to his +safety would be putting his courage in an unfavourable light; and so, +without more words, he mounted Clavileno, and tried the peg, which turned +easily; and as he had no stirrups and his legs hung down, he looked like +nothing so much as a figure in some Roman triumph painted or embroidered +on a Flemish tapestry. + +Much against the grain, and very slowly, Sancho proceeded to mount, and, +after settling himself as well as he could on the croup, found it rather +hard, and not at all soft, and asked the duke if it would be possible to +oblige him with a pad of some kind, or a cushion; even if it were off the +couch of his lady the duchess, or the bed of one of the pages; as the +haunches of that horse were more like marble than wood. On this the +Trifaldi observed that Clavileno would not bear any kind of harness or +trappings, and that his best plan would be to sit sideways like a woman, +as in that way he would not feel the hardness so much. + +Sancho did so, and, bidding them farewell, allowed his eyes to be +bandaged, but immediately afterwards uncovered them again, and looking +tenderly and tearfully on those in the garden, bade them help him in his +present strait with plenty of Paternosters and Ave Marias, that God might +provide some one to say as many for them, whenever they found themselves +in a similar emergency. + +At this Don Quixote exclaimed, "Art thou on the gallows, thief, or at thy +last moment, to use pitiful entreaties of that sort? Cowardly, spiritless +creature, art thou not in the very place the fair Magalona occupied, and +from which she descended, not into the grave, but to become Queen of +France; unless the histories lie? And I who am here beside thee, may I +not put myself on a par with the valiant Pierres, who pressed this very +spot that I now press? Cover thine eyes, cover thine eyes, abject animal, +and let not thy fear escape thy lips, at least in my presence." + +"Blindfold me," said Sancho; "as you won't let me commend myself or be +commended to God, is it any wonder if I am afraid there is a region of +devils about here that will carry us off to Peralvillo?" + +They were then blindfolded, and Don Quixote, finding himself settled to +his satisfaction, felt for the peg, and the instant he placed his fingers +on it, all the duennas and all who stood by lifted up their voices +exclaiming, "God guide thee, valiant knight! God be with thee, intrepid +squire! Now, now ye go cleaving the air more swiftly than an arrow! Now +ye begin to amaze and astonish all who are gazing at you from the earth! +Take care not to wobble about, valiant Sancho! Mind thou fall not, for +thy fall will be worse than that rash youth's who tried to steer the +chariot of his father the Sun!" + +As Sancho heard the voices, clinging tightly to his master and winding +his arms round him, he said, "Senor, how do they make out we are going up +so high, if their voices reach us here and they seem to be speaking quite +close to us?" + +"Don't mind that, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "for as affairs of this +sort, and flights like this are out of the common course of things, you +can see and hear as much as you like a thousand leagues off; but don't +squeeze me so tight or thou wilt upset me; and really I know not what +thou hast to be uneasy or frightened at, for I can safely swear I never +mounted a smoother-going steed all the days of my life; one would fancy +we never stirred from one place. Banish fear, my friend, for indeed +everything is going as it ought, and we have the wind astern." + +"That's true," said Sancho, "for such a strong wind comes against me on +this side, that it seems as if people were blowing on me with a thousand +pair of bellows;" which was the case; they were puffing at him with a +great pair of bellows; for the whole adventure was so well planned by the +duke, the duchess, and their majordomo, that nothing was omitted to make +it perfectly successful. + +Don Quixote now, feeling the blast, said, "Beyond a doubt, Sancho, we +must have already reached the second region of the air, where the hail +and snow are generated; the thunder, the lightning, and the thunderbolts +are engendered in the third region, and if we go on ascending at this +rate, we shall shortly plunge into the region of fire, and I know not how +to regulate this peg, so as not to mount up where we shall be burned." + +And now they began to warm their faces, from a distance, with tow that +could be easily set on fire and extinguished again, fixed on the end of a +cane. On feeling the heat Sancho said, "May I die if we are not already +in that fire place, or very near it, for a good part of my beard has been +singed, and I have a mind, senor, to uncover and see whereabouts we are." + +"Do nothing of the kind," said Don Quixote; "remember the true story of +the licentiate Torralva that the devils carried flying through the air +riding on a stick with his eyes shut; who in twelve hours reached Rome +and dismounted at Torre di Nona, which is a street of the city, and saw +the whole sack and storming and the death of Bourbon, and was back in +Madrid the next morning, where he gave an account of all he had seen; and +he said moreover that as he was going through the air, the devil bade him +open his eyes, and he did so, and saw himself so near the body of the +moon, so it seemed to him, that he could have laid hold of it with his +hand, and that he did not dare to look at the earth lest he should be +seized with giddiness. So that, Sancho, it will not do for us to uncover +ourselves, for he who has us in charge will be responsible for us; and +perhaps we are gaining an altitude and mounting up to enable us to +descend at one swoop on the kingdom of Kandy, as the saker or falcon does +on the heron, so as to seize it however high it may soar; and though it +seems to us not half an hour since we left the garden, believe me we must +have travelled a great distance." + +"I don't know how that may be," said Sancho; "all I know is that if the +Senora Magallanes or Magalona was satisfied with this croup, she could +not have been very tender of flesh." + +The duke, the duchess, and all in the garden were listening to the +conversation of the two heroes, and were beyond measure amused by it; and +now, desirous of putting a finishing touch to this rare and +well-contrived adventure, they applied a light to Clavileno's tail with +some tow, and the horse, being full of squibs and crackers, immediately +blew up with a prodigious noise, and brought Don Quixote and Sancho Panza +to the ground half singed. By this time the bearded band of duennas, the +Trifaldi and all, had vanished from the garden, and those that remained +lay stretched on the ground as if in a swoon. Don Quixote and Sancho got +up rather shaken, and, looking about them, were filled with amazement at +finding themselves in the same garden from which they had started, and +seeing such a number of people stretched on the ground; and their +astonishment was increased when at one side of the garden they perceived +a tall lance planted in the ground, and hanging from it by two cords of +green silk a smooth white parchment on which there was the following +inscription in large gold letters: "The illustrious knight Don Quixote of +La Mancha has, by merely attempting it, finished and concluded the +adventure of the Countess Trifaldi, otherwise called the Distressed +Duenna; Malambruno is now satisfied on every point, the chins of the +duennas are now smooth and clean, and King Don Clavijo and Queen +Antonomasia in their original form; and when the squirely flagellation +shall have been completed, the white dove shall find herself delivered +from the pestiferous gerfalcons that persecute her, and in the arms of +her beloved mate; for such is the decree of the sage Merlin, +arch-enchanter of enchanters." + +As soon as Don Quixote had read the inscription on the parchment he +perceived clearly that it referred to the disenchantment of Dulcinea, and +returning hearty thanks to heaven that he had with so little danger +achieved so grand an exploit as to restore to their former complexion the +countenances of those venerable duennas, he advanced towards the duke and +duchess, who had not yet come to themselves, and taking the duke by the +hand he said, "Be of good cheer, worthy sir, be of good cheer; it's +nothing at all; the adventure is now over and without any harm done, as +the inscription fixed on this post shows plainly." + +The duke came to himself slowly and like one recovering consciousness +after a heavy sleep, and the duchess and all who had fallen prostrate +about the garden did the same, with such demonstrations of wonder and +amazement that they would have almost persuaded one that what they +pretended so adroitly in jest had happened to them in reality. The duke +read the placard with half-shut eyes, and then ran to embrace Don Quixote +with-open arms, declaring him to be the best knight that had ever been +seen in any age. Sancho kept looking about for the Distressed One, to see +what her face was like without the beard, and if she was as fair as her +elegant person promised; but they told him that, the instant Clavileno +descended flaming through the air and came to the ground, the whole band +of duennas with the Trifaldi vanished, and that they were already shaved +and without a stump left. + +The duchess asked Sancho how he had fared on that long journey, to which +Sancho replied, "I felt, senora, that we were flying through the region +of fire, as my master told me, and I wanted to uncover my eyes for a bit; +but my master, when I asked leave to uncover myself, would not let me; +but as I have a little bit of curiosity about me, and a desire to know +what is forbidden and kept from me, quietly and without anyone seeing me +I drew aside the handkerchief covering my eyes ever so little, close to +my nose, and from underneath looked towards the earth, and it seemed to +me that it was altogether no bigger than a grain of mustard seed, and +that the men walking on it were little bigger than hazel nuts; so you may +see how high we must have got to then." + +To this the duchess said, "Sancho, my friend, mind what you are saying; +it seems you could not have seen the earth, but only the men walking on +it; for if the earth looked to you like a grain of mustard seed, and each +man like a hazel nut, one man alone would have covered the whole earth." + +"That is true," said Sancho, "but for all that I got a glimpse of a bit +of one side of it, and saw it all." + +"Take care, Sancho," said the duchess, "with a bit of one side one does +not see the whole of what one looks at." + +"I don't understand that way of looking at things," said Sancho; "I only +know that your ladyship will do well to bear in mind that as we were +flying by enchantment so I might have seen the whole earth and all the +men by enchantment whatever way I looked; and if you won't believe this, +no more will you believe that, uncovering myself nearly to the eyebrows, +I saw myself so close to the sky that there was not a palm and a half +between me and it; and by everything that I can swear by, senora, it is +mighty great! And it so happened we came by where the seven goats are, +and by God and upon my soul, as in my youth I was a goatherd in my own +country, as soon as I saw them I felt a longing to be among them for a +little, and if I had not given way to it I think I'd have burst. So I +come and take, and what do I do? without saying anything to anybody, not +even to my master, softly and quietly I got down from Clavileno and +amused myself with the goats--which are like violets, like flowers--for +nigh three-quarters of an hour; and Clavileno never stirred or moved from +one spot." + +"And while the good Sancho was amusing himself with the goats," said the +duke, "how did Senor Don Quixote amuse himself?" + +To which Don Quixote replied, "As all these things and such like +occurrences are out of the ordinary course of nature, it is no wonder +that Sancho says what he does; for my own part I can only say that I did +not uncover my eyes either above or below, nor did I see sky or earth or +sea or shore. It is true I felt that I was passing through the region of +the air, and even that I touched that of fire; but that we passed farther +I cannot believe; for the region of fire being between the heaven of the +moon and the last region of the air, we could not have reached that +heaven where the seven goats Sancho speaks of are without being burned; +and as we were not burned, either Sancho is lying or Sancho is dreaming." + +"I am neither lying nor dreaming," said Sancho; "only ask me the tokens +of those same goats, and you'll see by that whether I'm telling the truth +or not." + +"Tell us them then, Sancho," said the duchess. + +"Two of them," said Sancho, "are green, two blood-red, two blue, and one +a mixture of all colours." + +"An odd sort of goat, that," said the duke; "in this earthly region of +ours we have no such colours; I mean goats of such colours." + +"That's very plain," said Sancho; "of course there must be a difference +between the goats of heaven and the goats of the earth." + +"Tell me, Sancho," said the duke, "did you see any he-goat among those +goats?" + +"No, senor," said Sancho; "but I have heard say that none ever passed the +horns of the moon." + +They did not care to ask him anything more about his journey, for they +saw he was in the vein to go rambling all over the heavens giving an +account of everything that went on there, without having ever stirred +from the garden. Such, in short, was the end of the adventure of the +Distressed Duenna, which gave the duke and duchess laughing matter not +only for the time being, but for all their lives, and Sancho something to +talk about for ages, if he lived so long; but Don Quixote, coming close +to his ear, said to him, "Sancho, as you would have us believe what you +saw in heaven, I require you to believe me as to what I saw in the cave +of Montesinos; I say no more." + +Chapter XLII. - +Of the counsels which Don Quixote gave Sancho Panza before he set out to +govern the island, together with other well-considered matters + +The duke and duchess were so well pleased with the successful and droll +result of the adventure of the Distressed One, that they resolved to +carry on the joke, seeing what a fit subject they had to deal with for +making it all pass for reality. So having laid their plans and given +instructions to their servants and vassals how to behave to Sancho in his +government of the promised island, the next day, that following +Clavileno's flight, the duke told Sancho to prepare and get ready to go +and be governor, for his islanders were already looking out for him as +for the showers of May. + +Sancho made him an obeisance, and said, "Ever since I came down from +heaven, and from the top of it beheld the earth, and saw how little it +is, the great desire I had to be a governor has been partly cooled in me; +for what is there grand in being ruler on a grain of mustard seed, or +what dignity or authority in governing half a dozen men about as big as +hazel nuts; for, so far as I could see, there were no more on the whole +earth? If your lordship would be so good as to give me ever so small a +bit of heaven, were it no more than half a league, I'd rather have it +than the best island in the world." + +"Recollect, Sancho," said the duke, "I cannot give a bit of heaven, no +not so much as the breadth of my nail, to anyone; rewards and favours of +that sort are reserved for God alone. What I can give I give you, and +that is a real, genuine island, compact, well proportioned, and +uncommonly fertile and fruitful, where, if you know how to use your +opportunities, you may, with the help of the world's riches, gain those +of heaven." + +"Well then," said Sancho, "let the island come; and I'll try and be such +a governor, that in spite of scoundrels I'll go to heaven; and it's not +from any craving to quit my own humble condition or better myself, but +from the desire I have to try what it tastes like to be a governor." + +"If you once make trial of it, Sancho," said the duke, "you'll eat your +fingers off after the government, so sweet a thing is it to command and +be obeyed. Depend upon it when your master comes to be emperor (as he +will beyond a doubt from the course his affairs are taking), it will be +no easy matter to wrest the dignity from him, and he will be sore and +sorry at heart to have been so long without becoming one." + +"Senor," said Sancho, "it is my belief it's a good thing to be in +command, if it's only over a drove of cattle." + +"May I be buried with you, Sancho," said the duke, "but you know +everything; I hope you will make as good a governor as your sagacity +promises; and that is all I have to say; and now remember to-morrow is +the day you must set out for the government of the island, and this +evening they will provide you with the proper attire for you to wear, and +all things requisite for your departure." + +"Let them dress me as they like," said Sancho; "however I'm dressed I'll +be Sancho Panza." + +"That's true," said the duke; "but one's dress must be suited to the +office or rank one holds; for it would not do for a jurist to dress like +a soldier, or a soldier like a priest. You, Sancho, shall go partly as a +lawyer, partly as a captain, for, in the island I am giving you, arms are +needed as much as letters, and letters as much as arms." + +"Of letters I know but little," said Sancho, "for I don't even know the A +B C; but it is enough for me to have the Christus in my memory to be a +good governor. As for arms, I'll handle those they give me till I drop, +and then, God be my help!" + +"With so good a memory," said the duke, "Sancho cannot go wrong in +anything." + +Here Don Quixote joined them; and learning what passed, and how soon +Sancho was to go to his government, he with the duke's permission took +him by the hand, and retired to his room with him for the purpose of +giving him advice as to how he was to demean himself in his office. As +soon as they had entered the chamber he closed the door after him, and +almost by force made Sancho sit down beside him, and in a quiet tone thus +addressed him: "I give infinite thanks to heaven, friend Sancho, that, +before I have met with any good luck, fortune has come forward to meet +thee. I who counted upon my good fortune to discharge the recompense of +thy services, find myself still waiting for advancement, while thou, +before the time, and contrary to all reasonable expectation, seest +thyself blessed in the fulfillment of thy desires. Some will bribe, beg, +solicit, rise early, entreat, persist, without attaining the object of +their suit; while another comes, and without knowing why or wherefore, +finds himself invested with the place or office so many have sued for; +and here it is that the common saying, 'There is good luck as well as bad +luck in suits,' applies. Thou, who, to my thinking, art beyond all doubt +a dullard, without early rising or night watching or taking any trouble, +with the mere breath of knight-errantry that has breathed upon thee, +seest thyself without more ado governor of an island, as though it were a +mere matter of course. This I say, Sancho, that thou attribute not the +favour thou hast received to thine own merits, but give thanks to heaven +that disposes matters beneficently, and secondly thanks to the great +power the profession of knight-errantry contains in itself. With a heart, +then, inclined to believe what I have said to thee, attend, my son, to +thy Cato here who would counsel thee and be thy polestar and guide to +direct and pilot thee to a safe haven out of this stormy sea wherein thou +art about to ingulf thyself; for offices and great trusts are nothing +else but a mighty gulf of troubles. + +"First of all, my son, thou must fear God, for in the fear of him is +wisdom, and being wise thou canst not err in aught. + +"Secondly, thou must keep in view what thou art, striving to know +thyself, the most difficult thing to know that the mind can imagine. If +thou knowest thyself, it will follow thou wilt not puff thyself up like +the frog that strove to make himself as large as the ox; if thou dost, +the recollection of having kept pigs in thine own country will serve as +the ugly feet for the wheel of thy folly." + +"That's the truth," said Sancho; "but that was when I was a boy; +afterwards when I was something more of a man it was geese I kept, not +pigs. But to my thinking that has nothing to do with it; for all who are +governors don't come of a kingly stock." + +"True," said Don Quixote, "and for that reason those who are not of noble +origin should take care that the dignity of the office they hold he +accompanied by a gentle suavity, which wisely managed will save them from +the sneers of malice that no station escapes. + +"Glory in thy humble birth, Sancho, and be not ashamed of saying thou art +peasant-born; for when it is seen thou art not ashamed no one will set +himself to put thee to the blush; and pride thyself rather upon being one +of lowly virtue than a lofty sinner. Countless are they who, born of mean +parentage, have risen to the highest dignities, pontifical and imperial, +and of the truth of this I could give thee instances enough to weary +thee. + +"Remember, Sancho, if thou make virtue thy aim, and take a pride in doing +virtuous actions, thou wilt have no cause to envy those who have princely +and lordly ones, for blood is an inheritance, but virtue an acquisition, +and virtue has in itself alone a worth that blood does not possess. + +"This being so, if perchance anyone of thy kinsfolk should come to see +thee when thou art in thine island, thou art not to repel or slight him, +but on the contrary to welcome him, entertain him, and make much of him; +for in so doing thou wilt be approved of heaven (which is not pleased +that any should despise what it hath made), and wilt comply with the laws +of well-ordered nature. + +"If thou carriest thy wife with thee (and it is not well for those that +administer governments to be long without their wives), teach and +instruct her, and strive to smooth down her natural roughness; for all +that may be gained by a wise governor may be lost and wasted by a boorish +stupid wife. + +"If perchance thou art left a widower--a thing which may happen--and in +virtue of thy office seekest a consort of higher degree, choose not one +to serve thee for a hook, or for a fishing-rod, or for the hood of thy +'won't have it;' for verily, I tell thee, for all the judge's wife +receives, the husband will be held accountable at the general calling to +account; where he will have repay in death fourfold, items that in life +he regarded as naught. + +"Never go by arbitrary law, which is so much favoured by ignorant men who +plume themselves on cleverness. + +"Let the tears of the poor man find with thee more compassion, but not +more justice, than the pleadings of the rich. + +"Strive to lay bare the truth, as well amid the promises and presents of +the rich man, as amid the sobs and entreaties of the poor. + +"When equity may and should be brought into play, press not the utmost +rigour of the law against the guilty; for the reputation of the stern +judge stands not higher than that of the compassionate. + +"If perchance thou permittest the staff of justice to swerve, let it be +not by the weight of a gift, but by that of mercy. + +"If it should happen thee to give judgment in the cause of one who is +thine enemy, turn thy thoughts away from thy injury and fix them on the +justice of the case. + +"Let not thine own passion blind thee in another man's cause; for the +errors thou wilt thus commit will be most frequently irremediable; or if +not, only to be remedied at the expense of thy good name and even of thy +fortune. + +"If any handsome woman come to seek justice of thee, turn away thine eyes +from her tears and thine ears from her lamentations, and consider +deliberately the merits of her demand, if thou wouldst not have thy +reason swept away by her weeping, and thy rectitude by her sighs. + +"Abuse not by word him whom thou hast to punish in deed, for the pain of +punishment is enough for the unfortunate without the addition of thine +objurgations. + +"Bear in mind that the culprit who comes under thy jurisdiction is but a +miserable man subject to all the propensities of our depraved nature, and +so far as may be in thy power show thyself lenient and forbearing; for +though the attributes of God are all equal, to our eyes that of mercy is +brighter and loftier than that of justice. + +"If thou followest these precepts and rules, Sancho, thy days will be +long, thy fame eternal, thy reward abundant, thy felicity unutterable; +thou wilt marry thy children as thou wouldst; they and thy grandchildren +will bear titles; thou wilt live in peace and concord with all men; and, +when life draws to a close, death will come to thee in calm and ripe old +age, and the light and loving hands of thy great-grandchildren will close +thine eyes. + +"What I have thus far addressed to thee are instructions for the +adornment of thy mind; listen now to those which tend to that of the +body." + +Chapter XLIII. - +Of the second set of counsels Don Quixote gave Sancho Panza + +Who, hearing the foregoing discourse of Don Quixote, would not have set +him down for a person of great good sense and greater rectitude of +purpose? But, as has been frequently observed in the course of this great +history, he only talked nonsense when he touched on chivalry, and in +discussing all other subjects showed that he had a clear and unbiassed +understanding; so that at every turn his acts gave the lie to his +intellect, and his intellect to his acts; but in the case of these second +counsels that he gave Sancho he showed himself to have a lively turn of +humour, and displayed conspicuously his wisdom, and also his folly. + +Sancho listened to him with the deepest attention, and endeavoured to fix +his counsels in his memory, like one who meant to follow them and by +their means bring the full promise of his government to a happy issue. +Don Quixote, then, went on to say: + +"With regard to the mode in which thou shouldst govern thy person and thy +house, Sancho, the first charge I have to give thee is to be clean, and +to cut thy nails, not letting them grow as some do, whose ignorance makes +them fancy that long nails are an ornament to their hands, as if those +excrescences they neglect to cut were nails, and not the talons of a +lizard-catching kestrel--a filthy and unnatural abuse. + +"Go not ungirt and loose, Sancho; for disordered attire is a sign of an +unstable mind, unless indeed the slovenliness and slackness is to be set +down to craft, as was the common opinion in the case of Julius Caesar. + +"Ascertain cautiously what thy office may be worth; and if it will allow +thee to give liveries to thy servants, give them respectable and +serviceable, rather than showy and gay ones, and divide them between thy +servants and the poor; that is to say, if thou canst clothe six pages, +clothe three and three poor men, and thus thou wilt have pages for heaven +and pages for earth; the vainglorious never think of this new mode of +giving liveries. + +"Eat not garlic nor onions, lest they find out thy boorish origin by the +smell; walk slowly and speak deliberately, but not in such a way as to +make it seem thou art listening to thyself, for all affectation is bad. + +"Dine sparingly and sup more sparingly still; for the health of the whole +body is forged in the workshop of the stomach. + +"Be temperate in drinking, bearing in mind that wine in excess keeps +neither secrets nor promises. + +"Take care, Sancho, not to chew on both sides, and not to eruct in +anybody's presence." + +"Eruct!" said Sancho; "I don't know what that means." + +"To eruct, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "means to belch, and that is one of +the filthiest words in the Spanish language, though a very expressive +one; and therefore nice folk have had recourse to the Latin, and instead +of belch say eruct, and instead of belches say eructations; and if some +do not understand these terms it matters little, for custom will bring +them into use in the course of time, so that they will be readily +understood; this is the way a language is enriched; custom and the public +are all-powerful there." + +"In truth, senor," said Sancho, "one of the counsels and cautions I mean +to bear in mind shall be this, not to belch, for I'm constantly doing +it." + +"Eruct, Sancho, not belch," said Don Quixote. + +"Eruct, I shall say henceforth, and I swear not to forget it," said +Sancho. + +"Likewise, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "thou must not mingle such a +quantity of proverbs in thy discourse as thou dost; for though proverbs +are short maxims, thou dost drag them in so often by the head and +shoulders that they savour more of nonsense than of maxims." + +"God alone can cure that," said Sancho; "for I have more proverbs in me +than a book, and when I speak they come so thick together into my mouth +that they fall to fighting among themselves to get out; that's why my +tongue lets fly the first that come, though they may not be pat to the +purpose. But I'll take care henceforward to use such as befit the dignity +of my office; for 'in a house where there's plenty, supper is soon +cooked,' and 'he who binds does not wrangle,' and 'the bell-ringer's in a +safe berth,' and 'giving and keeping require brains.'" + +"That's it, Sancho!" said Don Quixote; "pack, tack, string proverbs +together; nobody is hindering thee! 'My mother beats me, and I go on with +my tricks.' I am bidding thee avoid proverbs, and here in a second thou +hast shot out a whole litany of them, which have as much to do with what +we are talking about as 'over the hills of Ubeda.' Mind, Sancho, I do not +say that a proverb aptly brought in is objectionable; but to pile up and +string together proverbs at random makes conversation dull and vulgar. + +"When thou ridest on horseback, do not go lolling with thy body on the +back of the saddle, nor carry thy legs stiff or sticking out from the +horse's belly, nor yet sit so loosely that one would suppose thou wert on +Dapple; for the seat on a horse makes gentlemen of some and grooms of +others. + +"Be moderate in thy sleep; for he who does not rise early does not get +the benefit of the day; and remember, Sancho, diligence is the mother of +good fortune, and indolence, its opposite, never yet attained the object +of an honest ambition. + +"The last counsel I will give thee now, though it does not tend to bodily +improvement, I would have thee carry carefully in thy memory, for I +believe it will be no less useful to thee than those I have given thee +already, and it is this--never engage in a dispute about families, at +least in the way of comparing them one with another; for necessarily one +of those compared will be better than the other, and thou wilt be hated +by the one thou hast disparaged, and get nothing in any shape from the +one thou hast exalted. + +"Thy attire shall be hose of full length, a long jerkin, and a cloak a +trifle longer; loose breeches by no means, for they are becoming neither +for gentlemen nor for governors. + +"For the present, Sancho, this is all that has occurred to me to advise +thee; as time goes by and occasions arise my instructions shall follow, +if thou take care to let me know how thou art circumstanced." + +"Senor," said Sancho, "I see well enough that all these things your +worship has said to me are good, holy, and profitable; but what use will +they be to me if I don't remember one of them? To be sure that about not +letting my nails grow, and marrying again if I have the chance, will not +slip out of my head; but all that other hash, muddle, and jumble--I don't +and can't recollect any more of it than of last year's clouds; so it must +be given me in writing; for though I can't either read or write, I'll +give it to my confessor, to drive it into me and remind me of it whenever +it is necessary." + +"Ah, sinner that I am!" said Don Quixote, "how bad it looks in governors +not to know how to read or write; for let me tell thee, Sancho, when a +man knows not how to read, or is left-handed, it argues one of two +things; either that he was the son of exceedingly mean and lowly parents, +or that he himself was so incorrigible and ill-conditioned that neither +good company nor good teaching could make any impression on him. It is a +great defect that thou labourest under, and therefore I would have thee +learn at any rate to sign thy name." "I can sign my name well enough," +said Sancho, "for when I was steward of the brotherhood in my village I +learned to make certain letters, like the marks on bales of goods, which +they told me made out my name. Besides I can pretend my right hand is +disabled and make some one else sign for me, for 'there's a remedy for +everything except death;' and as I shall be in command and hold the +staff, I can do as I like; moreover, 'he who has the alcalde for his +father-,' and I'll be governor, and that's higher than alcalde. Only come +and see! Let them make light of me and abuse me; 'they'll come for wool +and go back shorn;' 'whom God loves, his house is known to Him;' 'the +silly sayings of the rich pass for saws in the world;' and as I'll be +rich, being a governor, and at the same time generous, as I mean to be, +no fault will be seen in me. 'Only make yourself honey and the flies will +suck you;' 'as much as thou hast so much art thou worth,' as my +grandmother used to say; and 'thou canst have no revenge of a man of +substance.'" + +"Oh, God's curse upon thee, Sancho!" here exclaimed Don Quixote; "sixty +thousand devils fly away with thee and thy proverbs! For the last hour +thou hast been stringing them together and inflicting the pangs of +torture on me with every one of them. Those proverbs will bring thee to +the gallows one day, I promise thee; thy subjects will take the +government from thee, or there will be revolts among them. Tell me, where +dost thou pick them up, thou booby? How dost thou apply them, thou +blockhead? For with me, to utter one and make it apply properly, I have +to sweat and labour as if I were digging." + +"By God, master mine," said Sancho, "your worship is making a fuss about +very little. Why the devil should you be vexed if I make use of what is +my own? And I have got nothing else, nor any other stock in trade except +proverbs and more proverbs; and here are three just this instant come +into my head, pat to the purpose and like pears in a basket; but I won't +repeat them, for 'sage silence is called Sancho.'" + +"That, Sancho, thou art not," said Don Quixote; "for not only art thou +not sage silence, but thou art pestilent prate and perversity; still I +would like to know what three proverbs have just now come into thy +memory, for I have been turning over mine own--and it is a good one--and +none occurs to me." + +"What can be better," said Sancho, "than 'never put thy thumbs between +two back teeth;' and 'to "get out of my house" and "what do you want with +my wife?" there is no answer;' and 'whether the pitcher hits the stove, +or the stove the pitcher, it's a bad business for the pitcher;' all which +fit to a hair? For no one should quarrel with his governor, or him in +authority over him, because he will come off the worst, as he does who +puts his finger between two back and if they are not back teeth it makes +no difference, so long as they are teeth; and to whatever the governor +may say there's no answer, any more than to 'get out of my house' and +'what do you want with my wife?' and then, as for that about the stone +and the pitcher, a blind man could see that. So that he 'who sees the +mote in another's eye had need to see the beam in his own,' that it be +not said of himself, 'the dead woman was frightened at the one with her +throat cut;' and your worship knows well that 'the fool knows more in his +own house than the wise man in another's.'" + +"Nay, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "the fool knows nothing, either in his +own house or in anybody else's, for no wise structure of any sort can +stand on a foundation of folly; but let us say no more about it, Sancho, +for if thou governest badly, thine will be the fault and mine the shame; +but I comfort myself with having done my duty in advising thee as +earnestly and as wisely as I could; and thus I am released from my +obligations and my promise. God guide thee, Sancho, and govern thee in +thy government, and deliver me from the misgiving I have that thou wilt +turn the whole island upside down, a thing I might easily prevent by +explaining to the duke what thou art and telling him that all that fat +little person of thine is nothing else but a sack full of proverbs and +sauciness." + +"Senor," said Sancho, "if your worship thinks I'm not fit for this +government, I give it up on the spot; for the mere black of the nail of +my soul is dearer to me than my whole body; and I can live just as well, +simple Sancho, on bread and onions, as governor, on partridges and +capons; and what's more, while we're asleep we're all equal, great and +small, rich and poor. But if your worship looks into it, you will see it +was your worship alone that put me on to this business of governing; for +I know no more about the government of islands than a buzzard; and if +there's any reason to think that because of my being a governor the devil +will get hold of me, I'd rather go Sancho to heaven than governor to +hell." + +"By God, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "for those last words thou hast +uttered alone, I consider thou deservest to be governor of a thousand +islands. Thou hast good natural instincts, without which no knowledge is +worth anything; commend thyself to God, and try not to swerve in the +pursuit of thy main object; I mean, always make it thy aim and fixed +purpose to do right in all matters that come before thee, for heaven +always helps good intentions; and now let us go to dinner, for I think my +lord and lady are waiting for us." + +Chapter XLIV. - +How Sancho Panza was conducted to his government, and of the strange +adventure that befell Don Quixote in the castle + +It is stated, they say, in the true original of this history, that when +Cide Hamete came to write this chapter, his interpreter did not translate +it as he wrote it--that is, as a kind of complaint the Moor made against +himself for having taken in hand a story so dry and of so little variety +as this of Don Quixote, for he found himself forced to speak perpetually +of him and Sancho, without venturing to indulge in digressions and +episodes more serious and more interesting. He said, too, that to go on, +mind, hand, pen always restricted to writing upon one single subject, and +speaking through the mouths of a few characters, was intolerable +drudgery, the result of which was never equal to the author's labour, and +that to avoid this he had in the First Part availed himself of the device +of novels, like "The Ill-advised Curiosity," and "The Captive Captain," +which stand, as it were, apart from the story; the others are given there +being incidents which occurred to Don Quixote himself and could not be +omitted. He also thought, he says, that many, engrossed by the interest +attaching to the exploits of Don Quixote, would take none in the novels, +and pass them over hastily or impatiently without noticing the elegance +and art of their composition, which would be very manifest were they +published by themselves and not as mere adjuncts to the crazes of Don +Quixote or the simplicities of Sancho. Therefore in this Second Part he +thought it best not to insert novels, either separate or interwoven, but +only episodes, something like them, arising out of the circumstances the +facts present; and even these sparingly, and with no more words than +suffice to make them plain; and as he confines and restricts himself to +the narrow limits of the narrative, though he has ability; capacity, and +brains enough to deal with the whole universe, he requests that his +labours may not be despised, and that credit be given him, not alone for +what he writes, but for what he has refrained from writing. + +And so he goes on with his story, saying that the day Don Quixote gave +the counsels to Sancho, the same afternoon after dinner he handed them to +him in writing so that he might get some one to read them to him. They +had scarcely, however, been given to him when he let them drop, and they +fell into the hands of the duke, who showed them to the duchess and they +were both amazed afresh at the madness and wit of Don Quixote. To carry +on the joke, then, the same evening they despatched Sancho with a large +following to the village that was to serve him for an island. It happened +that the person who had him in charge was a majordomo of the duke's, a +man of great discretion and humour--and there can be no humour without +discretion--and the same who played the part of the Countess Trifaldi in +the comical way that has been already described; and thus qualified, and +instructed by his master and mistress as to how to deal with Sancho, he +carried out their scheme admirably. Now it came to pass that as soon as +Sancho saw this majordomo he seemed in his features to recognise those of +the Trifaldi, and turning to his master, he said to him, "Senor, either +the devil will carry me off, here on this spot, righteous and believing, +or your worship will own to me that the face of this majordomo of the +duke's here is the very face of the Distressed One." + +Don Quixote regarded the majordomo attentively, and having done so, said +to Sancho, "There is no reason why the devil should carry thee off, +Sancho, either righteous or believing--and what thou meanest by that I +know not; the face of the Distressed One is that of the majordomo, but +for all that the majordomo is not the Distressed One; for his being so +would involve a mighty contradiction; but this is not the time for going +into questions of the sort, which would be involving ourselves in an +inextricable labyrinth. Believe me, my friend, we must pray earnestly to +our Lord that he deliver us both from wicked wizards and enchanters." + +"It is no joke, senor," said Sancho, "for before this I heard him speak, +and it seemed exactly as if the voice of the Trifaldi was sounding in my +ears. Well, I'll hold my peace; but I'll take care to be on the look-out +henceforth for any sign that may be seen to confirm or do away with this +suspicion." + +"Thou wilt do well, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "and thou wilt let me know +all thou discoverest, and all that befalls thee in thy government." + +Sancho at last set out attended by a great number of people. He was +dressed in the garb of a lawyer, with a gaban of tawny watered camlet +over all and a montera cap of the same material, and mounted a la gineta +upon a mule. Behind him, in accordance with the duke's orders, followed +Dapple with brand new ass-trappings and ornaments of silk, and from time +to time Sancho turned round to look at his ass, so well pleased to have +him with him that he would not have changed places with the emperor of +Germany. On taking leave he kissed the hands of the duke and duchess and +got his master's blessing, which Don Quixote gave him with tears, and he +received blubbering. + +Let worthy Sancho go in peace, and good luck to him, Gentle Reader; and +look out for two bushels of laughter, which the account of how he behaved +himself in office will give thee. In the meantime turn thy attention to +what happened his master the same night, and if thou dost not laugh +thereat, at any rate thou wilt stretch thy mouth with a grin; for Don +Quixote's adventures must be honoured either with wonder or with +laughter. + +It is recorded, then, that as soon as Sancho had gone, Don Quixote felt +his loneliness, and had it been possible for him to revoke the mandate +and take away the government from him he would have done so. The duchess +observed his dejection and asked him why he was melancholy; because, she +said, if it was for the loss of Sancho, there were squires, duennas, and +damsels in her house who would wait upon him to his full satisfaction. + +"The truth is, senora," replied Don Quixote, "that I do feel the loss of +Sancho; but that is not the main cause of my looking sad; and of all the +offers your excellence makes me, I accept only the good-will with which +they are made, and as to the remainder I entreat of your excellence to +permit and allow me alone to wait upon myself in my chamber." + +"Indeed, Senor Don Quixote," said the duchess, "that must not be; four of +my damsels, as beautiful as flowers, shall wait upon you." + +"To me," said Don Quixote, "they will not be flowers, but thorns to +pierce my heart. They, or anything like them, shall as soon enter my +chamber as fly. If your highness wishes to gratify me still further, +though I deserve it not, permit me to please myself, and wait upon myself +in my own room; for I place a barrier between my inclinations and my +virtue, and I do not wish to break this rule through the generosity your +highness is disposed to display towards me; and, in short, I will sleep +in my clothes, sooner than allow anyone to undress me." + +"Say no more, Senor Don Quixote, say no more," said the duchess; "I +assure you I will give orders that not even a fly, not to say a damsel, +shall enter your room. I am not the one to undermine the propriety of +Senor Don Quixote, for it strikes me that among his many virtues the one +that is pre-eminent is that of modesty. Your worship may undress and +dress in private and in your own way, as you please and when you please, +for there will be no one to hinder you; and in your chamber you will find +all the utensils requisite to supply the wants of one who sleeps with his +door locked, to the end that no natural needs compel you to open it. May +the great Dulcinea del Toboso live a thousand years, and may her fame +extend all over the surface of the globe, for she deserves to be loved by +a knight so valiant and so virtuous; and may kind heaven infuse zeal into +the heart of our governor Sancho Panza to finish off his discipline +speedily, so that the world may once more enjoy the beauty of so grand a +lady." + +To which Don Quixote replied, "Your highness has spoken like what you +are; from the mouth of a noble lady nothing bad can come; and Dulcinea +will be more fortunate, and better known to the world by the praise of +your highness than by all the eulogies the greatest orators on earth +could bestow upon her." + +"Well, well, Senor Don Quixote," said the duchess, is nearly supper-time, +and the duke is is probably waiting; come let us go to supper, and retire +to rest early, for the journey you made yesterday from Kandy was not such +a short one but that it must have caused you some fatigue." + +"I feel none, senora," said Don Quixote, "for I would go so far as to +swear to your excellence that in all my life I never mounted a quieter +beast, or a pleasanter paced one, than Clavileno; and I don't know what +could have induced Malambruno to discard a steed so swift and so gentle, +and burn it so recklessly as he did." + +"Probably," said the duchess, "repenting of the evil he had done to the +Trifaldi and company, and others, and the crimes he must have committed +as a wizard and enchanter, he resolved to make away with all the +instruments of his craft; and so burned Clavileno as the chief one, and +that which mainly kept him restless, wandering from land to land; and by +its ashes and the trophy of the placard the valour of the great Don +Quixote of La Mancha is established for ever." + +Don Quixote renewed his thanks to the duchess; and having supped, retired +to his chamber alone, refusing to allow anyone to enter with him to wait +on him, such was his fear of encountering temptations that might lead or +drive him to forget his chaste fidelity to his lady Dulcinea; for he had +always present to his mind the virtue of Amadis, that flower and mirror +of knights-errant. He locked the door behind him, and by the light of two +wax candles undressed himself, but as he was taking off his stockings--O +disaster unworthy of such a personage!--there came a burst, not of sighs, +or anything belying his delicacy or good breeding, but of some two dozen +stitches in one of his stockings, that made it look like a +window-lattice. The worthy gentleman was beyond measure distressed, and +at that moment he would have given an ounce of silver to have had half a +drachm of green silk there; I say green silk, because the stockings were +green. + +Here Cide Hamete exclaimed as he was writing, "O poverty, poverty! I know +not what could have possessed the great Cordovan poet to call thee 'holy +gift ungratefully received.' Although a Moor, I know well enough from the +intercourse I have had with Christians that holiness consists in charity, +humility, faith, obedience, and poverty; but for all that, I say he must +have a great deal of godliness who can find any satisfaction in being +poor; unless, indeed, it be the kind of poverty one of their greatest +saints refers to, saying, 'possess all things as though ye possessed them +not;' which is what they call poverty in spirit. But thou, that other +poverty--for it is of thee I am speaking now--why dost thou love to fall +out with gentlemen and men of good birth more than with other people? Why +dost thou compel them to smear the cracks in their shoes, and to have the +buttons of their coats, one silk, another hair, and another glass? Why +must their ruffs be always crinkled like endive leaves, and not crimped +with a crimping iron?" (From this we may perceive the antiquity of starch +and crimped ruffs.) Then he goes on: "Poor gentleman of good family! +always cockering up his honour, dining miserably and in secret, and +making a hypocrite of the toothpick with which he sallies out into the +street after eating nothing to oblige him to use it! Poor fellow, I say, +with his nervous honour, fancying they perceive a league off the patch on +his shoe, the sweat-stains on his hat, the shabbiness of his cloak, and +the hunger of his stomach!" + +All this was brought home to Don Quixote by the bursting of his stitches; +however, he comforted himself on perceiving that Sancho had left behind a +pair of travelling boots, which he resolved to wear the next day. At last +he went to bed, out of spirits and heavy at heart, as much because he +missed Sancho as because of the irreparable disaster to his stockings, +the stitches of which he would have even taken up with silk of another +colour, which is one of the greatest signs of poverty a gentleman can +show in the course of his never-failing embarrassments. He put out the +candles; but the night was warm and he could not sleep; he rose from his +bed and opened slightly a grated window that looked out on a beautiful +garden, and as he did so he perceived and heard people walking and +talking in the garden. He set himself to listen attentively, and those +below raised their voices so that he could hear these words: + +"Urge me not to sing, Emerencia, for thou knowest that ever since this +stranger entered the castle and my eyes beheld him, I cannot sing but +only weep; besides my lady is a light rather than a heavy sleeper, and I +would not for all the wealth of the world that she found us here; and +even if she were asleep and did not waken, my singing would be in vain, +if this strange AEneas, who has come into my neighbourhood to flout me, +sleeps on and wakens not to hear it." + +"Heed not that, dear Altisidora," replied a voice; "the duchess is no +doubt asleep, and everybody in the house save the lord of thy heart and +disturber of thy soul; for just now I perceived him open the grated +window of his chamber, so he must be awake; sing, my poor sufferer, in a +low sweet tone to the accompaniment of thy harp; and even if the duchess +hears us we can lay the blame on the heat of the night." + +"That is not the point, Emerencia," replied Altisidora, "it is that I +would not that my singing should lay bare my heart, and that I should be +thought a light and wanton maiden by those who know not the mighty power +of love; but come what may; better a blush on the cheeks than a sore in +the heart;" and here a harp softly touched made itself heard. As he +listened to all this Don Quixote was in a state of breathless amazement, +for immediately the countless adventures like this, with windows, +gratings, gardens, serenades, lovemakings, and languishings, that he had +read of in his trashy books of chivalry, came to his mind. He at once +concluded that some damsel of the duchess's was in love with him, and +that her modesty forced her to keep her passion secret. He trembled lest +he should fall, and made an inward resolution not to yield; and +commending himself with all his might and soul to his lady Dulcinea he +made up his mind to listen to the music; and to let them know he was +there he gave a pretended sneeze, at which the damsels were not a little +delighted, for all they wanted was that Don Quixote should hear them. So +having tuned the harp, Altisidora, running her hand across the strings, +began this ballad: + +poem{ + +O thou that art above in bed, + Between the holland sheets, +A-lying there from night till morn, + With outstretched legs asleep; + +O thou, most valiant knight of all + The famed Manchegan breed, +Of purity and virtue more + Than gold of Araby; + +Give ear unto a suffering maid, + Well-grown but evil-starr'd, +For those two suns of thine have lit + A fire within her heart. + +Adventures seeking thou dost rove, + To others bringing woe; +Thou scatterest wounds, but, ah, the balm + To heal them dost withhold! + +Say, valiant youth, and so may God + Thy enterprises speed, +Didst thou the light mid Libya's sands + Or Jaca's rocks first see? + +Did scaly serpents give thee suck? + Who nursed thee when a babe? +Wert cradled in the forest rude, + Or gloomy mountain cave? + +O Dulcinea may be proud, + That plump and lusty maid; +For she alone hath had the power + A tiger fierce to tame. + +And she for this shall famous be + From Tagus to Jarama, +From Manzanares to Genil, + From Duero to Arlanza. + +Fain would I change with her, and give + A petticoat to boot, +The best and bravest that I have, + All trimmed with gold galloon. + +O for to be the happy fair + Thy mighty arms enfold, +Or even sit beside thy bed + And scratch thy dusty poll! + +I rave,--to favours such as these + Unworthy to aspire; +Thy feet to tickle were enough + For one so mean as I. + +What caps, what slippers silver-laced, + Would I on thee bestow! +What damask breeches make for thee; + What fine long holland cloaks! + +And I would give thee pearls that should + As big as oak-galls show; +So matchless big that each might well + Be called the great "Alone." + +Manchegan Nero, look not down + From thy Tarpeian Rock +Upon this burning heart, nor add + The fuel of thy wrath. + +A virgin soft and young am I, + Not yet fifteen years old; +(I'm only three months past fourteen, + I swear upon my soul). + +I hobble not nor do I limp, + All blemish I'm without, +And as I walk my lily locks + Are trailing on the ground. + +And though my nose be rather flat, + And though my mouth be wide, +My teeth like topazes exalt + My beauty to the sky. + +Thou knowest that my voice is sweet, + That is if thou dost hear; +And I am moulded in a form + Somewhat below the mean. + +These charms, and many more, are thine, + Spoils to thy spear and bow all; +A damsel of this house am I, + By name Altisidora. + +}poem + +Here the lay of the heart-stricken Altisidora came to an end, while the +warmly wooed Don Quixote began to feel alarm; and with a deep sigh he +said to himself, "O that I should be such an unlucky knight that no +damsel can set eyes on me but falls in love with me! O that the peerless +Dulcinea should be so unfortunate that they cannot let her enjoy my +incomparable constancy in peace! What would ye with her, ye queens? Why +do ye persecute her, ye empresses? Why ye pursue her, ye virgins of from +fourteen to fifteen? Leave the unhappy being to triumph, rejoice and +glory in the lot love has been pleased to bestow upon her in surrendering +my heart and yielding up my soul to her. Ye love-smitten host, know that +to Dulcinea only I am dough and sugar-paste, flint to all others; for her +I am honey, for you aloes. For me Dulcinea alone is beautiful, wise, +virtuous, graceful, and high-bred, and all others are ill-favoured, +foolish, light, and low-born. Nature sent me into the world to be hers +and no other's; Altisidora may weep or sing, the lady for whose sake they +belaboured me in the castle of the enchanted Moor may give way to +despair, but I must be Dulcinea's, boiled or roast, pure, courteous, and +chaste, in spite of all the magic-working powers on earth." And with that +he shut the window with a bang, and, as much out of temper and out of +sorts as if some great misfortune had befallen him, stretched himself on +his bed, where we will leave him for the present, as the great Sancho +Panza, who is about to set up his famous government, now demands our +attention. + +Chapter XLV. - +Of how the great Sancho Panza took possession of his island, and of how +he made a beginning in governing + +O perpetual discoverer of the antipodes, torch of the world, eye of +heaven, sweet stimulator of the water-coolers! Thimbraeus here, Phoebus +there, now archer, now physician, father of poetry, inventor of music; +thou that always risest and, notwithstanding appearances, never settest! +To thee, O Sun, by whose aid man begetteth man, to thee I appeal to help +me and lighten the darkness of my wit that I may be able to proceed with +scrupulous exactitude in giving an account of the great Sancho Panza's +government; for without thee I feel myself weak, feeble, and uncertain. + +To come to the point, then--Sancho with all his attendants arrived at a +village of some thousand inhabitants, and one of the largest the duke +possessed. They informed him that it was called the island of Barataria, +either because the name of the village was Baratario, or because of the +joke by way of which the government had been conferred upon him. On +reaching the gates of the town, which was a walled one, the municipality +came forth to meet him, the bells rang out a peal, and the inhabitants +showed every sign of general satisfaction; and with great pomp they +conducted him to the principal church to give thanks to God, and then +with burlesque ceremonies they presented him with the keys of the town, +and acknowledged him as perpetual governor of the island of Barataria. +The costume, the beard, and the fat squat figure of the new governor +astonished all those who were not in the secret, and even all who were, +and they were not a few. Finally, leading him out of the church they +carried him to the judgment seat and seated him on it, and the duke's +majordomo said to him, "It is an ancient custom in this island, senor +governor, that he who comes to take possession of this famous island is +bound to answer a question which shall be put to him, and which must be a +somewhat knotty and difficult one; and by his answer the people take the +measure of their new governor's wit, and hail with joy or deplore his +arrival accordingly." + +While the majordomo was making this speech Sancho was gazing at several +large letters inscribed on the wall opposite his seat, and as he could +not read he asked what that was that was painted on the wall. The answer +was, "Senor, there is written and recorded the day on which your lordship +took possession of this island, and the inscription says, 'This day, the +so-and-so of such-and-such a month and year, Senor Don Sancho Panza took +possession of this island; many years may he enjoy it.'" + +"And whom do they call Don Sancho Panza?" asked Sancho. + +"Your lordship," replied the majordomo; "for no other Panza but the one +who is now seated in that chair has ever entered this island." + +"Well then, let me tell you, brother," said Sancho, "I haven't got the +'Don,' nor has any one of my family ever had it; my name is plain Sancho +Panza, and Sancho was my father's name, and Sancho was my grandfather's +and they were all Panzas, without any Dons or Donas tacked on; I suspect +that in this island there are more Dons than stones; but never mind; God +knows what I mean, and maybe if my government lasts four days I'll weed +out these Dons that no doubt are as great a nuisance as the midges, +they're so plenty. Let the majordomo go on with his question, and I'll +give the best answer I can, whether the people deplore or not." + +At this instant there came into court two old men, one carrying a cane by +way of a walking-stick, and the one who had no stick said, "Senor, some +time ago I lent this good man ten gold-crowns in gold to gratify him and +do him a service, on the condition that he was to return them to me +whenever I should ask for them. A long time passed before I asked for +them, for I would not put him to any greater straits to return them than +he was in when I lent them to him; but thinking he was growing careless +about payment I asked for them once and several times; and not only will +he not give them back, but he denies that he owes them, and says I never +lent him any such crowns; or if I did, that he repaid them; and I have no +witnesses either of the loan, or the payment, for he never paid me; I +want your worship to put him to his oath, and if he swears he returned +them to me I forgive him the debt here and before God." + +"What say you to this, good old man, you with the stick?" said Sancho. + +To which the old man replied, "I admit, senor, that he lent them to me; +but let your worship lower your staff, and as he leaves it to my oath, +I'll swear that I gave them back, and paid him really and truly." + +The governor lowered the staff, and as he did so the old man who had the +stick handed it to the other old man to hold for him while he swore, as +if he found it in his way; and then laid his hand on the cross of the +staff, saying that it was true the ten crowns that were demanded of him +had been lent him; but that he had with his own hand given them back into +the hand of the other, and that he, not recollecting it, was always +asking for them. + +Seeing this the great governor asked the creditor what answer he had to +make to what his opponent said. He said that no doubt his debtor had told +the truth, for he believed him to be an honest man and a good Christian, +and he himself must have forgotten when and how he had given him back the +crowns; and that from that time forth he would make no further demand +upon him. + +The debtor took his stick again, and bowing his head left the court. +Observing this, and how, without another word, he made off, and observing +too the resignation of the plaintiff, Sancho buried his head in his bosom +and remained for a short space in deep thought, with the forefinger of +his right hand on his brow and nose; then he raised his head and bade +them call back the old man with the stick, for he had already taken his +departure. They brought him back, and as soon as Sancho saw him he said, +"Honest man, give me that stick, for I want it." + +"Willingly," said the old man; "here it is senor," and he put it into his +hand. + +Sancho took it and, handing it to the other old man, said to him, "Go, +and God be with you; for now you are paid." + +"I, senor!" returned the old man; "why, is this cane worth ten +gold-crowns?" + +"Yes," said the governor, "or if not I am the greatest dolt in the world; +now you will see whether I have got the headpiece to govern a whole +kingdom;" and he ordered the cane to be broken in two, there, in the +presence of all. It was done, and in the middle of it they found ten +gold-crowns. All were filled with amazement, and looked upon their +governor as another Solomon. They asked him how he had come to the +conclusion that the ten crowns were in the cane; he replied, that +observing how the old man who swore gave the stick to his opponent while +he was taking the oath, and swore that he had really and truly given him +the crowns, and how as soon as he had done swearing he asked for the +stick again, it came into his head that the sum demanded must be inside +it; and from this he said it might be seen that God sometimes guides +those who govern in their judgments, even though they may be fools; +besides he had himself heard the curate of his village mention just such +another case, and he had so good a memory, that if it was not that he +forgot everything he wished to remember, there would not be such a memory +in all the island. To conclude, the old men went off, one crestfallen, +and the other in high contentment, all who were present were astonished, +and he who was recording the words, deeds, and movements of Sancho could +not make up his mind whether he was to look upon him and set him down as +a fool or as a man of sense. + +As soon as this case was disposed of, there came into court a woman +holding on with a tight grip to a man dressed like a well-to-do cattle +dealer, and she came forward making a great outcry and exclaiming, +"Justice, senor governor, justice! and if I don't get it on earth I'll go +look for it in heaven. Senor governor of my soul, this wicked man caught +me in the middle of the fields here and used my body as if it was an +ill-washed rag, and, woe is me! got from me what I had kept these +three-and-twenty years and more, defending it against Moors and +Christians, natives and strangers; and I always as hard as an oak, and +keeping myself as pure as a salamander in the fire, or wool among the +brambles, for this good fellow to come now with clean hands to handle +me!" + +"It remains to be proved whether this gallant has clean hands or not," +said Sancho; and turning to the man he asked him what he had to say in +answer to the woman's charge. + +He all in confusion made answer, "Sirs, I am a poor pig dealer, and this +morning I left the village to sell (saving your presence) four pigs, and +between dues and cribbings they got out of me little less than the worth +of them. As I was returning to my village I fell in on the road with this +good dame, and the devil who makes a coil and a mess out of everything, +yoked us together. I paid her fairly, but she not contented laid hold of +me and never let go until she brought me here; she says I forced her, but +she lies by the oath I swear or am ready to swear; and this is the whole +truth and every particle of it." + +The governor on this asked him if he had any money in silver about him; +he said he had about twenty ducats in a leather purse in his bosom. The +governor bade him take it out and hand it to the complainant; he obeyed +trembling; the woman took it, and making a thousand salaams to all and +praying to God for the long life and health of the senor governor who had +such regard for distressed orphans and virgins, she hurried out of court +with the purse grasped in both her hands, first looking, however, to see +if the money it contained was silver. + +As soon as she was gone Sancho said to the cattle dealer, whose tears +were already starting and whose eyes and heart were following his purse, +"Good fellow, go after that woman and take the purse from her, by force +even, and come back with it here;" and he did not say it to one who was a +fool or deaf, for the man was off like a flash of lightning, and ran to +do as he was bid. + +All the bystanders waited anxiously to see the end of the case, and +presently both man and woman came back at even closer grips than before, +she with her petticoat up and the purse in the lap of it, and he +struggling hard to take it from her, but all to no purpose, so stout was +the woman's defence, she all the while crying out, "Justice from God and +the world! see here, senor governor, the shamelessness and boldness of +this villain, who in the middle of the town, in the middle of the street, +wanted to take from me the purse your worship bade him give me." + +"And did he take it?" asked the governor. + +"Take it!" said the woman; "I'd let my life be taken from me sooner than +the purse. A pretty child I'd be! It's another sort of cat they must +throw in my face, and not that poor scurvy knave. Pincers and hammers, +mallets and chisels would not get it out of my grip; no, nor lions' +claws; the soul from out of my body first!" + +"She is right," said the man; "I own myself beaten and powerless; I +confess I haven't the strength to take it from her;" and he let go his +hold of her. + +Upon this the governor said to the woman, "Let me see that purse, my +worthy and sturdy friend." She handed it to him at once, and the governor +returned it to the man, and said to the unforced mistress of force, +"Sister, if you had shown as much, or only half as much, spirit and +vigour in defending your body as you have shown in defending that purse, +the strength of Hercules could not have forced you. Be off, and God speed +you, and bad luck to you, and don't show your face in all this island, or +within six leagues of it on any side, under pain of two hundred lashes; +be off at once, I say, you shameless, cheating shrew." + +The woman was cowed and went off disconsolately, hanging her head; and +the governor said to the man, "Honest man, go home with your money, and +God speed you; and for the future, if you don't want to lose it, see that +you don't take it into your head to yoke with anybody." The man thanked +him as clumsily as he could and went his way, and the bystanders were +again filled with admiration at their new governor's judgments and +sentences. + +Next, two men, one apparently a farm labourer, and the other a tailor, +for he had a pair of shears in his hand, presented themselves before him, +and the tailor said, "Senor governor, this labourer and I come before +your worship by reason of this honest man coming to my shop yesterday +(for saving everybody's presence I'm a passed tailor, God be thanked), +and putting a piece of cloth into my hands and asking me, 'Senor, will +there be enough in this cloth to make me a cap?' Measuring the cloth I +said there would. He probably suspected--as I supposed, and I supposed +right--that I wanted to steal some of the cloth, led to think so by his +own roguery and the bad opinion people have of tailors; and he told me to +see if there would be enough for two. I guessed what he would be at, and +I said 'yes.' He, still following up his original unworthy notion, went +on adding cap after cap, and I 'yes' after 'yes,' until we got as far as +five. He has just this moment come for them; I gave them to him, but he +won't pay me for the making; on the contrary, he calls upon me to pay +him, or else return his cloth." + +"Is all this true, brother?" said Sancho. + +"Yes," replied the man; "but will your worship make him show the five +caps he has made me?" + +"With all my heart," said the tailor; and drawing his hand from under his +cloak he showed five caps stuck upon the five fingers of it, and said, +"there are the caps this good man asks for; and by God and upon my +conscience I haven't a scrap of cloth left, and I'll let the work be +examined by the inspectors of the trade." + +All present laughed at the number of caps and the novelty of the suit; +Sancho set himself to think for a moment, and then said, "It seems to me +that in this case it is not necessary to deliver long-winded arguments, +but only to give off-hand the judgment of an honest man; and so my +decision is that the tailor lose the making and the labourer the cloth, +and that the caps go to the prisoners in the gaol, and let there be no +more about it." + +If the previous decision about the cattle dealer's purse excited the +admiration of the bystanders, this provoked their laughter; however, the +governor's orders were after all executed. All this, having been taken +down by his chronicler, was at once despatched to the duke, who was +looking out for it with great eagerness; and here let us leave the good +Sancho; for his master, sorely troubled in mind by Altisidora's music, +has pressing claims upon us now. + +Chapter XLVI. - +Of the terrible bell and cat fright that Don Quixote got in the course of +the enamoured Altisidora's wooing + +We left Don Quixote wrapped up in the reflections which the music of the +enamourned maid Altisidora had given rise to. He went to bed with them, +and just like fleas they would not let him sleep or get a moment's rest, +and the broken stitches of his stockings helped them. But as Time is +fleet and no obstacle can stay his course, he came riding on the hours, +and morning very soon arrived. Seeing which Don Quixote quitted the soft +down, and, nowise slothful, dressed himself in his chamois suit and put +on his travelling boots to hide the disaster to his stockings. He threw +over him his scarlet mantle, put on his head a montera of green velvet +trimmed with silver edging, flung across his shoulder the baldric with +his good trenchant sword, took up a large rosary that he always carried +with him, and with great solemnity and precision of gait proceeded to the +antechamber where the duke and duchess were already dressed and waiting +for him. But as he passed through a gallery, Altisidora and the other +damsel, her friend, were lying in wait for him, and the instant +Altisidora saw him she pretended to faint, while her friend caught her in +her lap, and began hastily unlacing the bosom of her dress. + +Don Quixote observed it, and approaching them said, "I know very well +what this seizure arises from." + +"I know not from what," replied the friend, "for Altisidora is the +healthiest damsel in all this house, and I have never heard her complain +all the time I have known her. A plague on all the knights-errant in the +world, if they be all ungrateful! Go away, Senor Don Quixote; for this +poor child will not come to herself again so long as you are here." + +To which Don Quixote returned, "Do me the favour, senora, to let a lute +be placed in my chamber to-night; and I will comfort this poor maiden to +the best of my power; for in the early stages of love a prompt +disillusion is an approved remedy;" and with this he retired, so as not +to be remarked by any who might see him there. + +He had scarcely withdrawn when Altisidora, recovering from her swoon, +said to her companion, "The lute must be left, for no doubt Don Quixote +intends to give us some music; and being his it will not be bad." + +They went at once to inform the duchess of what was going on, and of the +lute Don Quixote asked for, and she, delighted beyond measure, plotted +with the duke and her two damsels to play him a trick that should be +amusing but harmless; and in high glee they waited for night, which came +quickly as the day had come; and as for the day, the duke and duchess +spent it in charming conversation with Don Quixote. + +When eleven o'clock came, Don Quixote found a guitar in his chamber; he +tried it, opened the window, and perceived that some persons were walking +in the garden; and having passed his fingers over the frets of the guitar +and tuned it as well as he could, he spat and cleared his chest, and then +with a voice a little hoarse but full-toned, he sang the following +ballad, which he had himself that day composed: + +poem{ + +Mighty Love the hearts of maidens + Doth unsettle and perplex, +And the instrument he uses + Most of all is idleness. + +Sewing, stitching, any labour, + Having always work to do, +To the poison Love instilleth + Is the antidote most sure. + +And to proper-minded maidens + Who desire the matron's name +Modesty's a marriage portion, + Modesty their highest praise. + +Men of prudence and discretion, + Courtiers gay and gallant knights, +With the wanton damsels dally, + But the modest take to wife. + +There are passions, transient, fleeting, + Loves in hostelries declar'd, +Sunrise loves, with sunset ended, + When the guest hath gone his way. + +Love that springs up swift and sudden, + Here to-day, to-morrow flown, +Passes, leaves no trace behind it, + Leaves no image on the soul. + +Painting that is laid on painting + Maketh no display or show; +Where one beauty's in possession + There no other can take hold. + +Dulcinea del Toboso + Painted on my heart I wear; +Never from its tablets, never, + Can her image be eras'd. + +The quality of all in lovers + Most esteemed is constancy; +'T is by this that love works wonders, + This exalts them to the skies. + +}poem + +Don Quixote had got so far with his song, to which the duke, the duchess, +Altisidora, and nearly the whole household of the castle were listening, +when all of a sudden from a gallery above that was exactly over his +window they let down a cord with more than a hundred bells attached to +it, and immediately after that discharged a great sack full of cats, +which also had bells of smaller size tied to their tails. Such was the +din of the bells and the squalling of the cats, that though the duke and +duchess were the contrivers of the joke they were startled by it, while +Don Quixote stood paralysed with fear; and as luck would have it, two or +three of the cats made their way in through the grating of his chamber, +and flying from one side to the other, made it seem as if there was a +legion of devils at large in it. They extinguished the candles that were +burning in the room, and rushed about seeking some way of escape; the +cord with the large bells never ceased rising and falling; and most of +the people of the castle, not knowing what was really the matter, were at +their wits' end with astonishment. Don Quixote sprang to his feet, and +drawing his sword, began making passes at the grating, shouting out, +"Avaunt, malignant enchanters! avaunt, ye witchcraft-working rabble! I am +Don Quixote of La Mancha, against whom your evil machinations avail not +nor have any power." And turning upon the cats that were running about +the room, he made several cuts at them. They dashed at the grating and +escaped by it, save one that, finding itself hard pressed by the slashes +of Don Quixote's sword, flew at his face and held on to his nose tooth +and nail, with the pain of which he began to shout his loudest. The duke +and duchess hearing this, and guessing what it was, ran with all haste to +his room, and as the poor gentleman was striving with all his might to +detach the cat from his face, they opened the door with a master-key and +went in with lights and witnessed the unequal combat. The duke ran +forward to part the combatants, but Don Quixote cried out aloud, "Let no +one take him from me; leave me hand to hand with this demon, this wizard, +this enchanter; I will teach him, I myself, who Don Quixote of La Mancha +is." The cat, however, never minding these threats, snarled and held on; +but at last the duke pulled it off and flung it out of the window. Don +Quixote was left with a face as full of holes as a sieve and a nose not +in very good condition, and greatly vexed that they did not let him +finish the battle he had been so stoutly fighting with that villain of an +enchanter. They sent for some oil of John's wort, and Altisidora herself +with her own fair hands bandaged all the wounded parts; and as she did so +she said to him in a low voice. "All these mishaps have befallen thee, +hardhearted knight, for the sin of thy insensibility and obstinacy; and +God grant thy squire Sancho may forget to whip himself, so that that +dearly beloved Dulcinea of thine may never be released from her +enchantment, that thou mayest never come to her bed, at least while I who +adore thee am alive." + +To all this Don Quixote made no answer except to heave deep sighs, and +then stretched himself on his bed, thanking the duke and duchess for +their kindness, not because he stood in any fear of that bell-ringing +rabble of enchanters in cat shape, but because he recognised their good +intentions in coming to his rescue. The duke and duchess left him to +repose and withdrew greatly grieved at the unfortunate result of the +joke; as they never thought the adventure would have fallen so heavy on +Don Quixote or cost him so dear, for it cost him five days of confinement +to his bed, during which he had another adventure, pleasanter than the +late one, which his chronicler will not relate just now in order that he +may turn his attention to Sancho Panza, who was proceeding with great +diligence and drollery in his government. + +Chapter XLVII. - +Wherein is continued the account of how Sancho Panza conducted himself in +his government + +The history says that from the justice court they carried Sancho to a +sumptuous palace, where in a spacious chamber there was a table laid out +with royal magnificence. The clarions sounded as Sancho entered the room, +and four pages came forward to present him with water for his hands, +which Sancho received with great dignity. The music ceased, and Sancho +seated himself at the head of the table, for there was only that seat +placed, and no more than one cover laid. A personage, who it appeared +afterwards was a physician, placed himself standing by his side with a +whalebone wand in his hand. They then lifted up a fine white cloth +covering fruit and a great variety of dishes of different sorts; one who +looked like a student said grace, and a page put a laced bib on Sancho, +while another who played the part of head carver placed a dish of fruit +before him. But hardly had he tasted a morsel when the man with the wand +touched the plate with it, and they took it away from before him with the +utmost celerity. The carver, however, brought him another dish, and +Sancho proceeded to try it; but before he could get at it, not to say +taste it, already the wand had touched it and a page had carried it off +with the same promptitude as the fruit. Sancho seeing this was puzzled, +and looking from one to another asked if this dinner was to be eaten +after the fashion of a jugglery trick. + +To this he with the wand replied, "It is not to be eaten, senor governor, +except as is usual and customary in other islands where there are +governors. I, senor, am a physician, and I am paid a salary in this +island to serve its governors as such, and I have a much greater regard +for their health than for my own, studying day and night and making +myself acquainted with the governor's constitution, in order to be able +to cure him when he falls sick. The chief thing I have to do is to attend +at his dinners and suppers and allow him to eat what appears to me to be +fit for him, and keep from him what I think will do him harm and be +injurious to his stomach; and therefore I ordered that plate of fruit to +be removed as being too moist, and that other dish I ordered to be +removed as being too hot and containing many spices that stimulate +thirst; for he who drinks much kills and consumes the radical moisture +wherein life consists." + +"Well then," said Sancho, "that dish of roast partridges there that seems +so savoury will not do me any harm." + +To this the physician replied, "Of those my lord the governor shall not +eat so long as I live." + +"Why so?" said Sancho. + +"Because," replied the doctor, "our master Hippocrates, the polestar and +beacon of medicine, says in one of his aphorisms omnis saturatio mala, +perdicis autem pessima, which means 'all repletion is bad, but that of +partridge is the worst of all." + +"In that case," said Sancho, "let senor doctor see among the dishes that +are on the table what will do me most good and least harm, and let me eat +it, without tapping it with his stick; for by the life of the governor, +and so may God suffer me to enjoy it, but I'm dying of hunger; and in +spite of the doctor and all he may say, to deny me food is the way to +take my life instead of prolonging it." + +"Your worship is right, senor governor," said the physician; "and +therefore your worship, I consider, should not eat of those stewed +rabbits there, because it is a furry kind of food; if that veal were not +roasted and served with pickles, you might try it; but it is out of the +question." + +"That big dish that is smoking farther off," said Sancho, "seems to me to +be an olla podrida, and out of the diversity of things in such ollas, I +can't fail to light upon something tasty and good for me." + +"Absit," said the doctor; "far from us be any such base thought! There is +nothing in the world less nourishing than an olla podrida; to canons, or +rectors of colleges, or peasants' weddings with your ollas podridas, but +let us have none of them on the tables of governors, where everything +that is present should be delicate and refined; and the reason is, that +always, everywhere and by everybody, simple medicines are more esteemed +than compound ones, for we cannot go wrong in those that are simple, +while in the compound we may, by merely altering the quantity of the +things composing them. But what I am of opinion the governor should cat +now in order to preserve and fortify his health is a hundred or so of +wafer cakes and a few thin slices of conserve of quinces, which will +settle his stomach and help his digestion." + +Sancho on hearing this threw himself back in his chair and surveyed the +doctor steadily, and in a solemn tone asked him what his name was and +where he had studied. + +He replied, "My name, senor governor, is Doctor Pedro Recio de Aguero I +am a native of a place called Tirteafuera which lies between Caracuel and +Almodovar del Campo, on the right-hand side, and I have the degree of +doctor from the university of Osuna." + +To which Sancho, glowing all over with rage, returned, "Then let Doctor +Pedro Recio de Malaguero, native of Tirteafuera, a place that's on the +right-hand side as we go from Caracuel to Almodovar del Campo, graduate +of Osuna, get out of my presence at once; or I swear by the sun I'll take +a cudgel, and by dint of blows, beginning with him, I'll not leave a +doctor in the whole island; at least of those I know to be ignorant; for +as to learned, wise, sensible physicians, them I will reverence and +honour as divine persons. Once more I say let Pedro Recio get out of this +or I'll take this chair I am sitting on and break it over his head. And +if they call me to account for it, I'll clear myself by saying I served +God in killing a bad doctor--a general executioner. And now give me +something to eat, or else take your government; for a trade that does not +feed its master is not worth two beans." + +The doctor was dismayed when he saw the governor in such a passion, and +he would have made a Tirteafuera out of the room but that the same +instant a post-horn sounded in the street; and the carver putting his +head out of the window turned round and said, "It's a courier from my +lord the duke, no doubt with some despatch of importance." + +The courier came in all sweating and flurried, and taking a paper from +his bosom, placed it in the governor's hands. Sancho handed it to the +majordomo and bade him read the superscription, which ran thus: To Don +Sancho Panza, Governor of the Island of Barataria, into his own hands or +those of his secretary. Sancho when he heard this said, "Which of you is +my secretary?" "I am, senor," said one of those present, "for I can read +and write, and am a Biscayan." "With that addition," said Sancho, "you +might be secretary to the emperor himself; open this paper and see what +it says." The new-born secretary obeyed, and having read the contents +said the matter was one to be discussed in private. Sancho ordered the +chamber to be cleared, the majordomo and the carver only remaining; so +the doctor and the others withdrew, and then the secretary read the +letter, which was as follows: + +It has come to my knowledge, Senor Don Sancho Panza, that certain enemies +of mine and of the island are about to make a furious attack upon it some +night, I know not when. It behoves you to be on the alert and keep watch, +that they surprise you not. I also know by trustworthy spies that four +persons have entered the town in disguise in order to take your life, +because they stand in dread of your great capacity; keep your eyes open +and take heed who approaches you to address you, and eat nothing that is +presented to you. I will take care to send you aid if you find yourself +in difficulty, but in all things you will act as may be expected of your +judgment. From this place, the Sixteenth of August, at four in the +morning. + +Your friend, + +THE DUKE + +Sancho was astonished, and those who stood by made believe to be so too, +and turning to the majordomo he said to him, "What we have got to do +first, and it must be done at once, is to put Doctor Recio in the +lock-up; for if anyone wants to kill me it is he, and by a slow death and +the worst of all, which is hunger." + +"Likewise," said the carver, "it is my opinion your worship should not +eat anything that is on this table, for the whole was a present from some +nuns; and as they say, 'behind the cross there's the devil.'" + +"I don't deny it," said Sancho; "so for the present give me a piece of +bread and four pounds or so of grapes; no poison can come in them; for +the fact is I can't go on without eating; and if we are to be prepared +for these battles that are threatening us we must be well provisioned; +for it is the tripes that carry the heart and not the heart the tripes. +And you, secretary, answer my lord the duke and tell him that all his +commands shall be obeyed to the letter, as he directs; and say from me to +my lady the duchess that I kiss her hands, and that I beg of her not to +forget to send my letter and bundle to my wife Teresa Panza by a +messenger; and I will take it as a great favour and will not fail to +serve her in all that may lie within my power; and as you are about it +you may enclose a kiss of the hand to my master Don Quixote that he may +see I am grateful bread; and as a good secretary and a good Biscayan you +may add whatever you like and whatever will come in best; and now take +away this cloth and give me something to eat, and I'll be ready to meet +all the spies and assassins and enchanters that may come against me or my +island." + +At this instant a page entered saying, "Here is a farmer on business, who +wants to speak to your lordship on a matter of great importance, he +says." + +"It's very odd," said Sancho, "the ways of these men on business; is it +possible they can be such fools as not to see that an hour like this is +no hour for coming on business? We who govern and we who are judges--are +we not men of flesh and blood, and are we not to be allowed the time +required for taking rest, unless they'd have us made of marble? By God +and on my conscience, if the government remains in my hands (which I have +a notion it won't), I'll bring more than one man on business to order. +However, tell this good man to come in; but take care first of all that +he is not some spy or one of my assassins." + +"No, my lord," said the page, "for he looks like a simple fellow, and +either I know very little or he is as good as good bread." + +"There is nothing to be afraid of," said the majordomo, "for we are all +here." + +"Would it be possible, carver," said Sancho, "now that Doctor Pedro Recio +is not here, to let me eat something solid and substantial, if it were +even a piece of bread and an onion?" + +"To-night at supper," said the carver, "the shortcomings of the dinner +shall be made good, and your lordship shall be fully contented." + +"God grant it," said Sancho. + +The farmer now came in, a well-favoured man that one might see a thousand +leagues off was an honest fellow and a good soul. The first thing he said +was, "Which is the lord governor here?" + +"Which should it be," said the secretary, "but he who is seated in the +chair?" + +"Then I humble myself before him," said the farmer; and going on his +knees he asked for his hand, to kiss it. Sancho refused it, and bade him +stand up and say what he wanted. The farmer obeyed, and then said, "I am +a farmer, senor, a native of Miguelturra, a village two leagues from +Ciudad Real." + +"Another Tirteafuera!" said Sancho; "say on, brother; I know Miguelturra +very well I can tell you, for it's not very far from my own town." + +"The case is this, senor," continued the farmer, "that by God's mercy I +am married with the leave and licence of the holy Roman Catholic Church; +I have two sons, students, and the younger is studying to become +bachelor, and the elder to be licentiate; I am a widower, for my wife +died, or more properly speaking, a bad doctor killed her on my hands, +giving her a purge when she was with child; and if it had pleased God +that the child had been born, and was a boy, I would have put him to +study for doctor, that he might not envy his brothers the bachelor and +the licentiate." + +"So that if your wife had not died, or had not been killed, you would not +now be a widower," said Sancho. + +"No, senor, certainly not," said the farmer. + +"We've got that much settled," said Sancho; "get on, brother, for it's +more bed-time than business-time." + +"Well then," said the farmer, "this son of mine who is going to be a +bachelor, fell in love in the said town with a damsel called Clara +Perlerina, daughter of Andres Perlerino, a very rich farmer; and this +name of Perlerines does not come to them by ancestry or descent, but +because all the family are paralytics, and for a better name they call +them Perlerines; though to tell the truth the damsel is as fair as an +Oriental pearl, and like a flower of the field, if you look at her on the +right side; on the left not so much, for on that side she wants an eye +that she lost by small-pox; and though her face is thickly and deeply +pitted, those who love her say they are not pits that are there, but the +graves where the hearts of her lovers are buried. She is so cleanly that +not to soil her face she carries her nose turned up, as they say, so that +one would fancy it was running away from her mouth; and with all this she +looks extremely well, for she has a wide mouth; and but for wanting ten +or a dozen teeth and grinders she might compare and compete with the +comeliest. Of her lips I say nothing, for they are so fine and thin that, +if lips might be reeled, one might make a skein of them; but being of a +different colour from ordinary lips they are wonderful, for they are +mottled, blue, green, and purple--let my lord the governor pardon me for +painting so minutely the charms of her who some time or other will be my +daughter; for I love her, and I don't find her amiss." + +"Paint what you will," said Sancho; "I enjoy your painting, and if I had +dined there could be no dessert more to my taste than your portrait." + +"That I have still to furnish," said the farmer; "but a time will come +when we may be able if we are not now; and I can tell you, senor, if I +could paint her gracefulness and her tall figure, it would astonish you; +but that is impossible because she is bent double with her knees up to +her mouth; but for all that it is easy to see that if she could stand up +she'd knock her head against the ceiling; and she would have given her +hand to my bachelor ere this, only that she can't stretch it out, for +it's contracted; but still one can see its elegance and fine make by its +long furrowed nails." + +"That will do, brother," said Sancho; "consider you have painted her from +head to foot; what is it you want now? Come to the point without all this +beating about the bush, and all these scraps and additions." + +"I want your worship, senor," said the farmer, "to do me the favour of +giving me a letter of recommendation to the girl's father, begging him to +be so good as to let this marriage take place, as we are not ill-matched +either in the gifts of fortune or of nature; for to tell the truth, senor +governor, my son is possessed of a devil, and there is not a day but the +evil spirits torment him three or four times; and from having once fallen +into the fire, he has his face puckered up like a piece of parchment, and +his eyes watery and always running; but he has the disposition of an +angel, and if it was not for belabouring and pummelling himself he'd be a +saint." + +"Is there anything else you want, good man?" said Sancho. + +"There's another thing I'd like," said the farmer, "but I'm afraid to +mention it; however, out it must; for after all I can't let it be rotting +in my breast, come what may. I mean, senor, that I'd like your worship to +give me three hundred or six hundred ducats as a help to my bachelor's +portion, to help him in setting up house; for they must, in short, live +by themselves, without being subject to the interferences of their +fathers-in-law." + +"Just see if there's anything else you'd like," said Sancho, "and don't +hold back from mentioning it out of bashfulness or modesty." + +"No, indeed there is not," said the farmer. + +The moment he said this the governor started to his feet, and seizing the +chair he had been sitting on exclaimed, "By all that's good, you +ill-bred, boorish Don Bumpkin, if you don't get out of this at once and +hide yourself from my sight, I'll lay your head open with this chair. You +whoreson rascal, you devil's own painter, and is it at this hour you come +to ask me for six hundred ducats! How should I have them, you stinking +brute? And why should I give them to you if I had them, you knave and +blockhead? What have I to do with Miguelturra or the whole family of the +Perlerines? Get out I say, or by the life of my lord the duke I'll do as +I said. You're not from Miguelturra, but some knave sent here from hell +to tempt me. Why, you villain, I have not yet had the government half a +day, and you want me to have six hundred ducats already!" + +The carver made signs to the farmer to leave the room, which he did with +his head down, and to all appearance in terror lest the governor should +carry his threats into effect, for the rogue knew very well how to play +his part. + +But let us leave Sancho in his wrath, and peace be with them all; and let +us return to Don Quixote, whom we left with his face bandaged and +doctored after the cat wounds, of which he was not cured for eight days; +and on one of these there befell him what Cide Hamete promises to relate +with that exactitude and truth with which he is wont to set forth +everything connected with this great history, however minute it may be. + +Chapter XLVIII. - +Of what befell Don Quixote with Dona Rodriguez, the Duchess's Duenna, +together with other occurrences worthy of record and eternal remembrance + +Exceedingly moody and dejected was the sorely wounded Don Quixote, with +his face bandaged and marked, not by the hand of God, but by the claws of +a cat, mishaps incidental to knight-errantry. + +Six days he remained without appearing in public, and one night as he lay +awake thinking of his misfortunes and of Altisidora's pursuit of him, he +perceived that some one was opening the door of his room with a key, and +he at once made up his mind that the enamoured damsel was coming to make +an assault upon his chastity and put him in danger of failing in the +fidelity he owed to his lady Dulcinea del Toboso. "No," said he, firmly +persuaded of the truth of his idea (and he said it loud enough to be +heard), "the greatest beauty upon earth shall not avail to make me +renounce my adoration of her whom I bear stamped and graved in the core +of my heart and the secret depths of my bowels; be thou, lady mine, +transformed into a clumsy country wench, or into a nymph of golden Tagus +weaving a web of silk and gold, let Merlin or Montesinos hold thee +captive where they will; whereer thou art, thou art mine, and where'er I +am, must be thine." The very instant he had uttered these words, the door +opened. He stood up on the bed wrapped from head to foot in a yellow +satin coverlet, with a cap on his head, and his face and his moustaches +tied up, his face because of the scratches, and his moustaches to keep +them from drooping and falling down, in which trim he looked the most +extraordinary scarecrow that could be conceived. He kept his eyes fixed +on the door, and just as he was expecting to see the love-smitten and +unhappy Altisidora make her appearance, he saw coming in a most venerable +duenna, in a long white-bordered veil that covered and enveloped her from +head to foot. Between the fingers of her left hand she held a short +lighted candle, while with her right she shaded it to keep the light from +her eyes, which were covered by spectacles of great size, and she +advanced with noiseless steps, treading very softly. + +Don Quixote kept an eye upon her from his watchtower, and observing her +costume and noting her silence, he concluded that it must be some witch +or sorceress that was coming in such a guise to work him some mischief, +and he began crossing himself at a great rate. The spectre still +advanced, and on reaching the middle of the room, looked up and saw the +energy with which Don Quixote was crossing himself; and if he was scared +by seeing such a figure as hers, she was terrified at the sight of his; +for the moment she saw his tall yellow form with the coverlet and the +bandages that disfigured him, she gave a loud scream, and exclaiming, +"Jesus! what's this I see?" let fall the candle in her fright, and then +finding herself in the dark, turned about to make off, but stumbling on +her skirts in her consternation, she measured her length with a mighty +fall. + +Don Quixote in his trepidation began saying, "I conjure thee, phantom, or +whatever thou art, tell me what thou art and what thou wouldst with me. +If thou art a soul in torment, say so, and all that my powers can do I +will do for thee; for I am a Catholic Christian and love to do good to +all the world, and to this end I have embraced the order of +knight-errantry to which I belong, the province of which extends to doing +good even to souls in purgatory." + +The unfortunate duenna hearing herself thus conjured, by her own fear +guessed Don Quixote's and in a low plaintive voice answered, "Senor Don +Quixote--if so be you are indeed Don Quixote--I am no phantom or spectre +or soul in purgatory, as you seem to think, but Dona Rodriguez, duenna of +honour to my lady the duchess, and I come to you with one of those +grievances your worship is wont to redress." + +"Tell me, Senora Dona Rodriguez," said Don Quixote, "do you perchance +come to transact any go-between business? Because I must tell you I am +not available for anybody's purpose, thanks to the peerless beauty of my +lady Dulcinea del Toboso. In short, Senora Dona Rodriguez, if you will +leave out and put aside all love messages, you may go and light your +candle and come back, and we will discuss all the commands you have for +me and whatever you wish, saving only, as I said, all seductive +communications." + +"I carry nobody's messages, senor," said the duenna; "little you know me. +Nay, I'm not far enough advanced in years to take to any such childish +tricks. God be praised I have a soul in my body still, and all my teeth +and grinders in my mouth, except one or two that the colds, so common in +this Aragon country, have robbed me of. But wait a little, while I go and +light my candle, and I will return immediately and lay my sorrows before +you as before one who relieves those of all the world;" and without +staying for an answer she quitted the room and left Don Quixote +tranquilly meditating while he waited for her. A thousand thoughts at +once suggested themselves to him on the subject of this new adventure, +and it struck him as being ill done and worse advised in him to expose +himself to the danger of breaking his plighted faith to his lady; and +said he to himself, "Who knows but that the devil, being wily and +cunning, may be trying now to entrap me with a duenna, having failed with +empresses, queens, duchesses, marchionesses, and countesses? Many a time +have I heard it said by many a man of sense that he will sooner offer you +a flat-nosed wench than a roman-nosed one; and who knows but this +privacy, this opportunity, this silence, may awaken my sleeping desires, +and lead me in these my latter years to fall where I have never tripped? +In cases of this sort it is better to flee than to await the battle. But +I must be out of my senses to think and utter such nonsense; for it is +impossible that a long, white-hooded spectacled duenna could stir up or +excite a wanton thought in the most graceless bosom in the world. Is +there a duenna on earth that has fair flesh? Is there a duenna in the +world that escapes being ill-tempered, wrinkled, and prudish? Avaunt, +then, ye duenna crew, undelightful to all mankind. Oh, but that lady did +well who, they say, had at the end of her reception room a couple of +figures of duennas with spectacles and lace-cushions, as if at work, and +those statues served quite as well to give an air of propriety to the +room as if they had been real duennas." + +So saying he leaped off the bed, intending to close the door and not +allow Senora Rodriguez to enter; but as he went to shut it Senora +Rodriguez returned with a wax candle lighted, and having a closer view of +Don Quixote, with the coverlet round him, and his bandages and night-cap, +she was alarmed afresh, and retreating a couple of paces, exclaimed, "Am +I safe, sir knight? for I don't look upon it as a sign of very great +virtue that your worship should have got up out of bed." + +"I may well ask the same, senora," said Don Quixote; "and I do ask +whether I shall be safe from being assailed and forced?" + +"Of whom and against whom do you demand that security, sir knight?" said +the duenna. + +"Of you and against you I ask it," said Don Quixote; "for I am not +marble, nor are you brass, nor is it now ten o'clock in the morning, but +midnight, or a trifle past it I fancy, and we are in a room more secluded +and retired than the cave could have been where the treacherous and +daring AEneas enjoyed the fair soft-hearted Dido. But give me your hand, +senora; I require no better protection than my own continence, and my own +sense of propriety; as well as that which is inspired by that venerable +head-dress;" and so saying he kissed her right hand and took it in his +own, she yielding it to him with equal ceremoniousness. And here Cide +Hamete inserts a parenthesis in which he says that to have seen the pair +marching from the door to the bed, linked hand in hand in this way, he +would have given the best of the two tunics he had. + +Don Quixote finally got into bed, and Dona Rodriguez took her seat on a +chair at some little distance from his couch, without taking off her +spectacles or putting aside the candle. Don Quixote wrapped the +bedclothes round him and covered himself up completely, leaving nothing +but his face visible, and as soon as they had both regained their +composure he broke silence, saying, "Now, Senora Dona Rodriguez, you may +unbosom yourself and out with everything you have in your sorrowful heart +and afflicted bowels; and by me you shall be listened to with chaste +ears, and aided by compassionate exertions." + +"I believe it," replied the duenna; "from your worship's gentle and +winning presence only such a Christian answer could be expected. The fact +is, then, Senor Don Quixote, that though you see me seated in this chair, +here in the middle of the kingdom of Aragon, and in the attire of a +despised outcast duenna, I am from the Asturias of Oviedo, and of a +family with which many of the best of the province are connected by +blood; but my untoward fate and the improvidence of my parents, who, I +know not how, were unseasonably reduced to poverty, brought me to the +court of Madrid, where as a provision and to avoid greater misfortunes, +my parents placed me as seamstress in the service of a lady of quality, +and I would have you know that for hemming and sewing I have never been +surpassed by any all my life. My parents left me in service and returned +to their own country, and a few years later went, no doubt, to heaven, +for they were excellent good Catholic Christians. I was left an orphan +with nothing but the miserable wages and trifling presents that are given +to servants of my sort in palaces; but about this time, without any +encouragement on my part, one of the esquires of the household fell in +love with me, a man somewhat advanced in years, full-bearded and +personable, and above all as good a gentleman as the king himself, for he +came of a mountain stock. We did not carry on our loves with such secrecy +but that they came to the knowledge of my lady, and she, not to have any +fuss about it, had us married with the full sanction of the holy mother +Roman Catholic Church, of which marriage a daughter was born to put an +end to my good fortune, if I had any; not that I died in childbirth, for +I passed through it safely and in due season, but because shortly +afterwards my husband died of a certain shock he received, and had I time +to tell you of it I know your worship would be surprised;" and here she +began to weep bitterly and said, "Pardon me, Senor Don Quixote, if I am +unable to control myself, for every time I think of my unfortunate +husband my eyes fill up with tears. God bless me, with what an air of +dignity he used to carry my lady behind him on a stout mule as black as +jet! for in those days they did not use coaches or chairs, as they say +they do now, and ladies rode behind their squires. This much at least I +cannot help telling you, that you may observe the good breeding and +punctiliousness of my worthy husband. As he was turning into the Calle de +Santiago in Madrid, which is rather narrow, one of the alcaldes of the +Court, with two alguacils before him, was coming out of it, and as soon +as my good squire saw him he wheeled his mule about and made as if he +would turn and accompany him. My lady, who was riding behind him, said to +him in a low voice, 'What are you about, you sneak, don't you see that I +am here?' The alcalde like a polite man pulled up his horse and said to +him, 'Proceed, senor, for it is I, rather, who ought to accompany my lady +Dona Casilda'--for that was my mistress's name. Still my husband, cap in +hand, persisted in trying to accompany the alcalde, and seeing this my +lady, filled with rage and vexation, pulled out a big pin, or, I rather +think, a bodkin, out of her needle-case and drove it into his back with +such force that my husband gave a loud yell, and writhing fell to the +ground with his lady. Her two lacqueys ran to rise her up, and the +alcalde and the alguacils did the same; the Guadalajara gate was all in +commotion--I mean the idlers congregated there; my mistress came back on +foot, and my husband hurried away to a barber's shop protesting that he +was run right through the guts. The courtesy of my husband was noised +abroad to such an extent, that the boys gave him no peace in the street; +and on this account, and because he was somewhat shortsighted, my lady +dismissed him; and it was chagrin at this I am convinced beyond a doubt +that brought on his death. I was left a helpless widow, with a daughter +on my hands growing up in beauty like the sea-foam; at length, however, +as I had the character of being an excellent needlewoman, my lady the +duchess, then lately married to my lord the duke, offered to take me with +her to this kingdom of Aragon, and my daughter also, and here as time +went by my daughter grew up and with her all the graces in the world; she +sings like a lark, dances quick as thought, foots it like a gipsy, reads +and writes like a schoolmaster, and does sums like a miser; of her +neatness I say nothing, for the running water is not purer, and her age +is now, if my memory serves me, sixteen years five months and three days, +one more or less. To come to the point, the son of a very rich farmer, +living in a village of my lord the duke's not very far from here, fell in +love with this girl of mine; and in short, how I know not, they came +together, and under the promise of marrying her he made a fool of my +daughter, and will not keep his word. And though my lord the duke is +aware of it (for I have complained to him, not once but many and many a +time, and entreated him to order the farmer to marry my daughter), he +turns a deaf ear and will scarcely listen to me; the reason being that as +the deceiver's father is so rich, and lends him money, and is constantly +going security for his debts, he does not like to offend or annoy him in +any way. Now, senor, I want your worship to take it upon yourself to +redress this wrong either by entreaty or by arms; for by what all the +world says you came into it to redress grievances and right wrongs and +help the unfortunate. Let your worship put before you the unprotected +condition of my daughter, her youth, and all the perfections I have said +she possesses; and before God and on my conscience, out of all the +damsels my lady has, there is not one that comes up to the sole of her +shoe, and the one they call Altisidora, and look upon as the boldest and +gayest of them, put in comparison with my daughter, does not come within +two leagues of her. For I would have you know, senor, all is not gold +that glitters, and that same little Altisidora has more forwardness than +good looks, and more impudence than modesty; besides being not very +sound, for she has such a disagreeable breath that one cannot bear to be +near her for a moment; and even my lady the duchess--but I'll hold my +tongue, for they say that walls have ears." + +"For heaven's sake, Dona Rodriguez, what ails my lady the duchess?" asked +Don Quixote. + +"Adjured in that way," replied the duenna, "I cannot help answering the +question and telling the whole truth. Senor Don Quixote, have you +observed the comeliness of my lady the duchess, that smooth complexion of +hers like a burnished polished sword, those two cheeks of milk and +carmine, that gay lively step with which she treads or rather seems to +spurn the earth, so that one would fancy she went radiating health +wherever she passed? Well then, let me tell you she may thank, first of +all God, for this, and next, two issues that she has, one in each leg, by +which all the evil humours, of which the doctors say she is full, are +discharged." + +"Blessed Virgin!" exclaimed Don Quixote; "and is it possible that my lady +the duchess has drains of that sort? I would not have believed it if the +barefoot friars had told it me; but as the lady Dona Rodriguez says so, +it must be so. But surely such issues, and in such places, do not +discharge humours, but liquid amber. Verily, I do believe now that this +practice of opening issues is a very important matter for the health." + +Don Quixote had hardly said this, when the chamber door flew open with a +loud bang, and with the start the noise gave her Dona Rodriguez let the +candle fall from her hand, and the room was left as dark as a wolf's +mouth, as the saying is. Suddenly the poor duenna felt two hands seize +her by the throat, so tightly that she could not croak, while some one +else, without uttering a word, very briskly hoisted up her petticoats, +and with what seemed to be a slipper began to lay on so heartily that +anyone would have felt pity for her; but although Don Quixote felt it he +never stirred from his bed, but lay quiet and silent, nay apprehensive +that his turn for a drubbing might be coming. Nor was the apprehension an +idle one; one; for leaving the duenna (who did not dare to cry out) well +basted, the silent executioners fell upon Don Quixote, and stripping him +of the sheet and the coverlet, they pinched him so fast and so hard that +he was driven to defend himself with his fists, and all this in +marvellous silence. The battle lasted nearly half an hour, and then the +phantoms fled; Dona Rodriguez gathered up her skirts, and bemoaning her +fate went out without saying a word to Don Quixote, and he, sorely +pinched, puzzled, and dejected, remained alone, and there we will leave +him, wondering who could have been the perverse enchanter who had reduced +him to such a state; but that shall be told in due season, for Sancho +claims our attention, and the methodical arrangement of the story demands +it. + +Chapter XLIX. - +Of what happened Sancho in making the round of his island + +We left the great governor angered and irritated by that +portrait-painting rogue of a farmer who, instructed the majordomo, as the +majordomo was by the duke, tried to practise upon him; he however, fool, +boor, and clown as he was, held his own against them all, saying to those +round him and to Doctor Pedro Recio, who as soon as the private business +of the duke's letter was disposed of had returned to the room, "Now I see +plainly enough that judges and governors ought to be and must be made of +brass not to feel the importunities of the applicants that at all times +and all seasons insist on being heard, and having their business +despatched, and their own affairs and no others attended to, come what +may; and if the poor judge does not hear them and settle the +matter--either because he cannot or because that is not the time set +apart for hearing them-forthwith they abuse him, and run him down, and +gnaw at his bones, and even pick holes in his pedigree. You silly, stupid +applicant, don't be in a hurry; wait for the proper time and season for +doing business; don't come at dinner-hour, or at bed-time; for judges are +only flesh and blood, and must give to Nature what she naturally demands +of them; all except myself, for in my case I give her nothing to eat, +thanks to Senor Doctor Pedro Recio Tirteafuera here, who would have me +die of hunger, and declares that death to be life; and the same sort of +life may God give him and all his kind--I mean the bad doctors; for the +good ones deserve palms and laurels." + +All who knew Sancho Panza were astonished to hear him speak so elegantly, +and did not know what to attribute it to unless it were that office and +grave responsibility either smarten or stupefy men's wits. At last Doctor +Pedro Recio Agilers of Tirteafuera promised to let him have supper that +night though it might be in contravention of all the aphorisms of +Hippocrates. With this the governor was satisfied and looked forward to +the approach of night and supper-time with great anxiety; and though +time, to his mind, stood still and made no progress, nevertheless the +hour he so longed for came, and they gave him a beef salad with onions +and some boiled calves' feet rather far gone. At this he fell to with +greater relish than if they had given him francolins from Milan, +pheasants from Rome, veal from Sorrento, partridges from Moron, or geese +from Lavajos, and turning to the doctor at supper he said to him, "Look +here, senor doctor, for the future don't trouble yourself about giving me +dainty things or choice dishes to eat, for it will be only taking my +stomach off its hinges; it is accustomed to goat, cow, bacon, hung beef, +turnips and onions; and if by any chance it is given these palace dishes, +it receives them squeamishly, and sometimes with loathing. What the +head-carver had best do is to serve me with what they call ollas podridas +(and the rottener they are the better they smell); and he can put +whatever he likes into them, so long as it is good to eat, and I'll be +obliged to him, and will requite him some day. But let nobody play pranks +on me, for either we are or we are not; let us live and eat in peace and +good-fellowship, for when God sends the dawn, he sends it for all. I mean +to govern this island without giving up a right or taking a bribe; let +everyone keep his eye open, and look out for the arrow; for I can tell +them 'the devil's in Cantillana,' and if they drive me to it they'll see +something that will astonish them. Nay! make yourself honey and the flies +eat you." + +"Of a truth, senor governor," said the carver, "your worship is in the +right of it in everything you have said; and I promise you in the name of +all the inhabitants of this island that they will serve your worship with +all zeal, affection, and good-will, for the mild kind of government you +have given a sample of to begin with, leaves them no ground for doing or +thinking anything to your worship's disadvantage." + +"That I believe," said Sancho; "and they would be great fools if they did +or thought otherwise; once more I say, see to my feeding and my Dapple's +for that is the great point and what is most to the purpose; and when the +hour comes let us go the rounds, for it is my intention to purge this +island of all manner of uncleanness and of all idle good-for-nothing +vagabonds; for I would have you know that lazy idlers are the same thing +in a State as the drones in a hive, that eat up the honey the industrious +bees make. I mean to protect the husbandman, to preserve to the gentleman +his privileges, to reward the virtuous, and above all to respect religion +and honour its ministers. What say you to that, my friends? Is there +anything in what I say, or am I talking to no purpose?" + +"There is so much in what your worship says, senor governor," said the +majordomo, "that I am filled with wonder when I see a man like your +worship, entirely without learning (for I believe you have none at all), +say such things, and so full of sound maxims and sage remarks, very +different from what was expected of your worship's intelligence by those +who sent us or by us who came here. Every day we see something new in +this world; jokes become realities, and the jokers find the tables turned +upon them." + +Night came, and with the permission of Doctor Pedro Recio, the governor +had supper. They then got ready to go the rounds, and he started with the +majordomo, the secretary, the head-carver, the chronicler charged with +recording his deeds, and alguacils and notaries enough to form a +fair-sized squadron. In the midst marched Sancho with his staff, as fine +a sight as one could wish to see, and but a few streets of the town had +been traversed when they heard a noise as of a clashing of swords. They +hastened to the spot, and found that the combatants were but two, who +seeing the authorities approaching stood still, and one of them +exclaimed, "Help, in the name of God and the king! Are men to be allowed +to rob in the middle of this town, and rush out and attack people in the +very streets?" + +"Be calm, my good man," said Sancho, "and tell me what the cause of this +quarrel is; for I am the governor." + +Said the other combatant, "Senor governor, I will tell you in a very few +words. Your worship must know that this gentleman has just now won more +than a thousand reals in that gambling house opposite, and God knows how. +I was there, and gave more than one doubtful point in his favour, very +much against what my conscience told me. He made off with his winnings, +and when I made sure he was going to give me a crown or so at least by +way of a present, as it is usual and customary to give men of quality of +my sort who stand by to see fair or foul play, and back up swindles, and +prevent quarrels, he pocketed his money and left the house. Indignant at +this I followed him, and speaking him fairly and civilly asked him to +give me if it were only eight reals, for he knows I am an honest man and +that I have neither profession nor property, for my parents never brought +me up to any or left me any; but the rogue, who is a greater thief than +Cacus and a greater sharper than Andradilla, would not give me more than +four reals; so your worship may see how little shame and conscience he +has. But by my faith if you had not come up I'd have made him disgorge +his winnings, and he'd have learned what the range of the steel-yard +was." + +"What say you to this?" asked Sancho. The other replied that all his +antagonist said was true, and that he did not choose to give him more +than four reals because he very often gave him money; and that those who +expected presents ought to be civil and take what is given them with a +cheerful countenance, and not make any claim against winners unless they +know them for certain to be sharpers and their winnings to be unfairly +won; and that there could be no better proof that he himself was an +honest man than his having refused to give anything; for sharpers always +pay tribute to lookers-on who know them. + +"That is true," said the majordomo; "let your worship consider what is to +be done with these men." + +"What is to be done," said Sancho, "is this; you, the winner, be you +good, bad, or indifferent, give this assailant of yours a hundred reals +at once, and you must disburse thirty more for the poor prisoners; and +you who have neither profession nor property, and hang about the island +in idleness, take these hundred reals now, and some time of the day +to-morrow quit the island under sentence of banishment for ten years, and +under pain of completing it in another life if you violate the sentence, +for I'll hang you on a gibbet, or at least the hangman will by my orders; +not a word from either of you, or I'll make him feel my hand." + +The one paid down the money and the other took it, and the latter quitted +the island, while the other went home; and then the governor said, +"Either I am not good for much, or I'll get rid of these gambling houses, +for it strikes me they are very mischievous." + +"This one at least," said one of the notaries, "your worship will not be +able to get rid of, for a great man owns it, and what he loses every year +is beyond all comparison more than what he makes by the cards. On the +minor gambling houses your worship may exercise your power, and it is +they that do most harm and shelter the most barefaced practices; for in +the houses of lords and gentlemen of quality the notorious sharpers dare +not attempt to play their tricks; and as the vice of gambling has become +common, it is better that men should play in houses of repute than in +some tradesman's, where they catch an unlucky fellow in the small hours +of the morning and skin him alive." + +"I know already, notary, that there is a good deal to be said on that +point," said Sancho. + +And now a tipstaff came up with a young man in his grasp, and said, +"Senor governor, this youth was coming towards us, and as soon as he saw +the officers of justice he turned about and ran like a deer, a sure proof +that he must be some evil-doer; I ran after him, and had it not been that +he stumbled and fell, I should never have caught him." + +"What did you run for, fellow?" said Sancho. + +To which the young man replied, "Senor, it was to avoid answering all the +questions officers of justice put." + +"What are you by trade?" + +"A weaver." + +"And what do you weave?" + +"Lance heads, with your worship's good leave." + +"You're facetious with me! You plume yourself on being a wag? Very good; +and where were you going just now?" + +"To take the air, senor." + +"And where does one take the air in this island?" + +"Where it blows." + +"Good! your answers are very much to the point; you are a smart youth; +but take notice that I am the air, and that I blow upon you a-stern, and +send you to gaol. Ho there! lay hold of him and take him off; I'll make +him sleep there to-night without air." + +"By God," said the young man, "your worship will make me sleep in gaol +just as soon as make me king." + +"Why shan't I make thee sleep in gaol?" said Sancho. "Have I not the +power to arrest thee and release thee whenever I like?" + +"All the power your worship has," said the young man, "won't be able to +make me sleep in gaol." + +"How? not able!" said Sancho; "take him away at once where he'll see his +mistake with his own eyes, even if the gaoler is willing to exert his +interested generosity on his behalf; for I'll lay a penalty of two +thousand ducats on him if he allows him to stir a step from the prison." + +"That's ridiculous," said the young man; "the fact is, all the men on +earth will not make me sleep in prison." + +"Tell me, you devil," said Sancho, "have you got any angel that will +deliver you, and take off the irons I am going to order them to put upon +you?" + +"Now, senor governor," said the young man in a sprightly manner, "let us +be reasonable and come to the point. Granted your worship may order me to +be taken to prison, and to have irons and chains put on me, and to be +shut up in a cell, and may lay heavy penalties on the gaoler if he lets +me out, and that he obeys your orders; still, if I don't choose to sleep, +and choose to remain awake all night without closing an eye, will your +worship with all your power be able to make me sleep if I don't choose?" + +"No, truly," said the secretary, "and the fellow has made his point." + +"So then," said Sancho, "it would be entirely of your own choice you +would keep from sleeping; not in opposition to my will?" + +"No, senor," said the youth, "certainly not." + +"Well then, go, and God be with you," said Sancho; "be off home to sleep, +and God give you sound sleep, for I don't want to rob you of it; but for +the future, let me advise you don't joke with the authorities, because +you may come across some one who will bring down the joke on your own +skull." + +The young man went his way, and the governor continued his round, and +shortly afterwards two tipstaffs came up with a man in custody, and said, +"Senor governor, this person, who seems to be a man, is not so, but a +woman, and not an ill-favoured one, in man's clothes." They raised two or +three lanterns to her face, and by their light they distinguished the +features of a woman to all appearance of the age of sixteen or a little +more, with her hair gathered into a gold and green silk net, and fair as +a thousand pearls. They scanned her from head to foot, and observed that +she had on red silk stockings with garters of white taffety bordered with +gold and pearl; her breeches were of green and gold stuff, and under an +open jacket or jerkin of the same she wore a doublet of the finest white +and gold cloth; her shoes were white and such as men wear; she carried no +sword at her belt, but only a richly ornamented dagger, and on her +fingers she had several handsome rings. In short, the girl seemed fair to +look at in the eyes of all, and none of those who beheld her knew her, +the people of the town said they could not imagine who she was, and those +who were in the secret of the jokes that were to be practised upon Sancho +were the ones who were most surprised, for this incident or discovery had +not been arranged by them; and they watched anxiously to see how the +affair would end. + +Sancho was fascinated by the girl's beauty, and he asked her who she was, +where she was going, and what had induced her to dress herself in that +garb. She with her eyes fixed on the ground answered in modest confusion, +"I cannot tell you, senor, before so many people what it is of such +consequence to me to have kept secret; one thing I wish to be known, that +I am no thief or evildoer, but only an unhappy maiden whom the power of +jealousy has led to break through the respect that is due to modesty." + +Hearing this the majordomo said to Sancho, "Make the people stand back, +senor governor, that this lady may say what she wishes with less +embarrassment." + +Sancho gave the order, and all except the majordomo, the head-carver, and +the secretary fell back. Finding herself then in the presence of no more, +the damsel went on to say, "I am the daughter, sirs, of Pedro Perez +Mazorca, the wool-farmer of this town, who is in the habit of coming very +often to my father's house." + +"That won't do, senora," said the majordomo; "for I know Pedro Perez very +well, and I know he has no child at all, either son or daughter; and +besides, though you say he is your father, you add then that he comes +very often to your father's house." + +"I had already noticed that," said Sancho. + +"I am confused just now, sirs," said the damsel, "and I don't know what I +am saying; but the truth is that I am the daughter of Diego de la Llana, +whom you must all know." + +"Ay, that will do," said the majordomo; "for I know Diego de la Llana, +and know that he is a gentleman of position and a rich man, and that he +has a son and a daughter, and that since he was left a widower nobody in +all this town can speak of having seen his daughter's face; for he keeps +her so closely shut up that he does not give even the sun a chance of +seeing her; and for all that report says she is extremely beautiful." + +"It is true," said the damsel, "and I am that daughter; whether report +lies or not as to my beauty, you, sirs, will have decided by this time, +as you have seen me;" and with this she began to weep bitterly. + +On seeing this the secretary leant over to the head-carver's ear, and +said to him in a low voice, "Something serious has no doubt happened this +poor maiden, that she goes wandering from home in such a dress and at +such an hour, and one of her rank too." "There can be no doubt about it," +returned the carver, "and moreover her tears confirm your suspicion." +Sancho gave her the best comfort he could, and entreated her to tell them +without any fear what had happened her, as they would all earnestly and +by every means in their power endeavour to relieve her. + +"The fact is, sirs," said she, "that my father has kept me shut up these +ten years, for so long is it since the earth received my mother. Mass is +said at home in a sumptuous chapel, and all this time I have seen but the +sun in the heaven by day, and the moon and the stars by night; nor do I +know what streets are like, or plazas, or churches, or even men, except +my father and a brother I have, and Pedro Perez the wool-farmer; whom, +because he came frequently to our house, I took it into my head to call +my father, to avoid naming my own. This seclusion and the restrictions +laid upon my going out, were it only to church, have been keeping me +unhappy for many a day and month past; I longed to see the world, or at +least the town where I was born, and it did not seem to me that this wish +was inconsistent with the respect maidens of good quality should have for +themselves. When I heard them talking of bull-fights taking place, and of +javelin games, and of acting plays, I asked my brother, who is a year +younger than myself, to tell me what sort of things these were, and many +more that I had never seen; he explained them to me as well as he could, +but the only effect was to kindle in me a still stronger desire to see +them. At last, to cut short the story of my ruin, I begged and entreated +my brother--O that I had never made such an entreaty-" And once more she +gave way to a burst of weeping. + +"Proceed, senora," said the majordomo, "and finish your story of what has +happened to you, for your words and tears are keeping us all in +suspense." + +"I have but little more to say, though many a tear to shed," said the +damsel; "for ill-placed desires can only be paid for in some such way." + +The maiden's beauty had made a deep impression on the head-carver's +heart, and he again raised his lantern for another look at her, and +thought they were not tears she was shedding, but seed-pearl or dew of +the meadow, nay, he exalted them still higher, and made Oriental pearls +of them, and fervently hoped her misfortune might not be so great a one +as her tears and sobs seemed to indicate. The governor was losing +patience at the length of time the girl was taking to tell her story, and +told her not to keep them waiting any longer; for it was late, and there +still remained a good deal of the town to be gone over. + +She, with broken sobs and half-suppressed sighs, went on to say, "My +misfortune, my misadventure, is simply this, that I entreated my brother +to dress me up as a man in a suit of his clothes, and take me some night, +when our father was asleep, to see the whole town; he, overcome by my +entreaties, consented, and dressing me in this suit and himself in +clothes of mine that fitted him as if made for him (for he has not a hair +on his chin, and might pass for a very beautiful young girl), to-night, +about an hour ago, more or less, we left the house, and guided by our +youthful and foolish impulse we made the circuit of the whole town, and +then, as we were about to return home, we saw a great troop of people +coming, and my brother said to me, 'Sister, this must be the round, stir +your feet and put wings to them, and follow me as fast as you can, lest +they recognise us, for that would be a bad business for us;' and so +saying he turned about and began, I cannot say to run but to fly; in less +than six paces I fell from fright, and then the officer of justice came +up and carried me before your worships, where I find myself put to shame +before all these people as whimsical and vicious." + +"So then, senora," said Sancho, "no other mishap has befallen you, nor +was it jealousy that made you leave home, as you said at the beginning of +your story?" + +"Nothing has happened me," said she, "nor was it jealousy that brought me +out, but merely a longing to see the world, which did not go beyond +seeing the streets of this town." + +The appearance of the tipstaffs with her brother in custody, whom one of +them had overtaken as he ran away from his sister, now fully confirmed +the truth of what the damsel said. He had nothing on but a rich petticoat +and a short blue damask cloak with fine gold lace, and his head was +uncovered and adorned only with its own hair, which looked like rings of +gold, so bright and curly was it. The governor, the majordomo, and the +carver went aside with him, and, unheard by his sister, asked him how he +came to be in that dress, and he with no less shame and embarrassment +told exactly the same story as his sister, to the great delight of the +enamoured carver; the governor, however, said to them, "In truth, young +lady and gentleman, this has been a very childish affair, and to explain +your folly and rashness there was no necessity for all this delay and all +these tears and sighs; for if you had said we are so-and-so, and we +escaped from our father's house in this way in order to ramble about, out +of mere curiosity and with no other object, there would have been an end +of the matter, and none of these little sobs and tears and all the rest +of it." + +"That is true," said the damsel, "but you see the confusion I was in was +so great it did not let me behave as I ought." + +"No harm has been done," said Sancho; "come, we will leave you at your +father's house; perhaps they will not have missed you; and another time +don't be so childish or eager to see the world; for a respectable damsel +should have a broken leg and keep at home; and the woman and the hen by +gadding about are soon lost; and she who is eager to see is also eager to +be seen; I say no more." + +The youth thanked the governor for his kind offer to take them home, and +they directed their steps towards the house, which was not far off. On +reaching it the youth threw a pebble up at a grating, and immediately a +woman-servant who was waiting for them came down and opened the door to +them, and they went in, leaving the party marvelling as much at their +grace and beauty as at the fancy they had for seeing the world by night +and without quitting the village; which, however, they set down to their +youth. + +The head-carver was left with a heart pierced through and through, and he +made up his mind on the spot to demand the damsel in marriage of her +father on the morrow, making sure she would not be refused him as he was +a servant of the duke's; and even to Sancho ideas and schemes of marrying +the youth to his daughter Sanchica suggested themselves, and he resolved +to open the negotiation at the proper season, persuading himself that no +husband could be refused to a governor's daughter. And so the night's +round came to an end, and a couple of days later the government, whereby +all his plans were overthrown and swept away, as will be seen farther on. + +Chapter L. - +Wherein is set forth who the enchanters and executioners were who flogged +the Duenna and pinched Don Quixote, and also what befell the page who +carried the letter to Teresa Panza, Sancho Panza's wife + +Cide Hamete, the painstaking investigator of the minute points of this +veracious history, says that when Dona Rodriguez left her own room to go +to Don Quixote's, another duenna who slept with her observed her, and as +all duennas are fond of prying, listening, and sniffing, she followed her +so silently that the good Rodriguez never perceived it; and as soon as +the duenna saw her enter Don Quixote's room, not to fail in a duenna's +invariable practice of tattling, she hurried off that instant to report +to the duchess how Dona Rodriguez was closeted with Don Quixote. The +duchess told the duke, and asked him to let her and Altisidora go and see +what the said duenna wanted with Don Quixote. The duke gave them leave, +and the pair cautiously and quietly crept to the door of the room and +posted themselves so close to it that they could hear all that was said +inside. But when the duchess heard how the Rodriguez had made public the +Aranjuez of her issues she could not restrain herself, nor Altisidora +either; and so, filled with rage and thirsting for vengeance, they burst +into the room and tormented Don Quixote and flogged the duenna in the +manner already described; for indignities offered to their charms and +self-esteem mightily provoke the anger of women and make them eager for +revenge. The duchess told the duke what had happened, and he was much +amused by it; and she, in pursuance of her design of making merry and +diverting herself with Don Quixote, despatched the page who had played +the part of Dulcinea in the negotiations for her disenchantment (which +Sancho Panza in the cares of government had forgotten all about) to +Teresa Panza his wife with her husband's letter and another from herself, +and also a great string of fine coral beads as a present. + +Now the history says this page was very sharp and quick-witted; and eager +to serve his lord and lady he set off very willingly for Sancho's +village. Before he entered it he observed a number of women washing in a +brook, and asked them if they could tell him whether there lived there a +woman of the name of Teresa Panza, wife of one Sancho Panza, squire to a +knight called Don Quixote of La Mancha. At the question a young girl who +was washing stood up and said, "Teresa Panza is my mother, and that +Sancho is my father, and that knight is our master." + +"Well then, miss," said the page, "come and show me where your mother is, +for I bring her a letter and a present from your father." + +"That I will with all my heart, senor," said the girl, who seemed to be +about fourteen, more or less; and leaving the clothes she was washing to +one of her companions, and without putting anything on her head or feet, +for she was bare-legged and had her hair hanging about her, away she +skipped in front of the page's horse, saying, "Come, your worship, our +house is at the entrance of the town, and my mother is there, sorrowful +enough at not having had any news of my father this ever so long." + +"Well," said the page, "I am bringing her such good news that she will +have reason to thank God." + +And then, skipping, running, and capering, the girl reached the town, but +before going into the house she called out at the door, "Come out, mother +Teresa, come out, come out; here's a gentleman with letters and other +things from my good father." At these words her mother Teresa Panza came +out spinning a bundle of flax, in a grey petticoat (so short was it one +would have fancied "they to her shame had cut it short"), a grey bodice +of the same stuff, and a smock. She was not very old, though plainly past +forty, strong, healthy, vigorous, and sun-dried; and seeing her daughter +and the page on horseback, she exclaimed, "What's this, child? What +gentleman is this?" + +"A servant of my lady, Dona Teresa Panza," replied the page; and suiting +the action to the word he flung himself off his horse, and with great +humility advanced to kneel before the lady Teresa, saying, "Let me kiss +your hand, Senora Dona Teresa, as the lawful and only wife of Senor Don +Sancho Panza, rightful governor of the island of Barataria." + +"Ah, senor, get up, do that," said Teresa; "for I'm not a bit of a court +lady, but only a poor country woman, the daughter of a clodcrusher, and +the wife of a squire-errant and not of any governor at all." + +"You are," said the page, "the most worthy wife of a most arch-worthy +governor; and as a proof of what I say accept this letter and this +present;" and at the same time he took out of his pocket a string of +coral beads with gold clasps, and placed it on her neck, and said, "This +letter is from his lordship the governor, and the other as well as these +coral beads from my lady the duchess, who sends me to your worship." + +Teresa stood lost in astonishment, and her daughter just as much, and the +girl said, "May I die but our master Don Quixote's at the bottom of this; +he must have given father the government or county he so often promised +him." + +"That is the truth," said the page; "for it is through Senor Don Quixote +that Senor Sancho is now governor of the island of Barataria, as will be +seen by this letter." + +"Will your worship read it to me, noble sir?" said Teresa; "for though I +can spin I can't read, not a scrap." + +"Nor I either," said Sanchica; "but wait a bit, and I'll go and fetch +some one who can read it, either the curate himself or the bachelor +Samson Carrasco, and they'll come gladly to hear any news of my father." + +"There is no need to fetch anybody," said the page; "for though I can't +spin I can read, and I'll read it;" and so he read it through, but as it +has been already given it is not inserted here; and then he took out the +other one from the duchess, which ran as follows: + +Friend Teresa,--Your husband Sancho's good qualities, of heart as well as +of head, induced and compelled me to request my husband the duke to give +him the government of one of his many islands. I am told he governs like +a gerfalcon, of which I am very glad, and my lord the duke, of course, +also; and I am very thankful to heaven that I have not made a mistake in +choosing him for that same government; for I would have Senora Teresa +know that a good governor is hard to find in this world and may God make +me as good as Sancho's way of governing. Herewith I send you, my dear, a +string of coral beads with gold clasps; I wish they were Oriental pearls; +but "he who gives thee a bone does not wish to see thee dead;" a time +will come when we shall become acquainted and meet one another, but God +knows the future. Commend me to your daughter Sanchica, and tell her from +me to hold herself in readiness, for I mean to make a high match for her +when she least expects it. They tell me there are big acorns in your +village; send me a couple of dozen or so, and I shall value them greatly +as coming from your hand; and write to me at length to assure me of your +health and well-being; and if there be anything you stand in need of, it +is but to open your mouth, and that shall be the measure; and so God keep +you. + +From this place. Your loving friend, THE DUCHESS. + +"Ah, what a good, plain, lowly lady!" said Teresa when she heard the +letter; "that I may be buried with ladies of that sort, and not the +gentlewomen we have in this town, that fancy because they are gentlewomen +the wind must not touch them, and go to church with as much airs as if +they were queens, no less, and seem to think they are disgraced if they +look at a farmer's wife! And see here how this good lady, for all she's a +duchess, calls me 'friend,' and treats me as if I was her equal--and +equal may I see her with the tallest church-tower in La Mancha! And as +for the acorns, senor, I'll send her ladyship a peck and such big ones +that one might come to see them as a show and a wonder. And now, +Sanchica, see that the gentleman is comfortable; put up his horse, and +get some eggs out of the stable, and cut plenty of bacon, and let's give +him his dinner like a prince; for the good news he has brought, and his +own bonny face deserve it all; and meanwhile I'll run out and give the +neighbours the news of our good luck, and father curate, and Master +Nicholas the barber, who are and always have been such friends of thy +father's." + +"That I will, mother," said Sanchica; "but mind, you must give me half of +that string; for I don't think my lady the duchess could have been so +stupid as to send it all to you." + +"It is all for thee, my child," said Teresa; "but let me wear it round my +neck for a few days; for verily it seems to make my heart glad." + +"You will be glad too," said the page, "when you see the bundle there is +in this portmanteau, for it is a suit of the finest cloth, that the +governor only wore one day out hunting and now sends, all for Senora +Sanchica." + +"May he live a thousand years," said Sanchica, "and the bearer as many, +nay two thousand, if needful." + +With this Teresa hurried out of the house with the letters, and with the +string of beads round her neck, and went along thrumming the letters as +if they were a tambourine, and by chance coming across the curate and +Samson Carrasco she began capering and saying, "None of us poor now, +faith! We've got a little government! Ay, let the finest fine lady tackle +me, and I'll give her a setting down!" + +"What's all this, Teresa Panza," said they; "what madness is this, and +what papers are those?" + +"The madness is only this," said she, "that these are the letters of +duchesses and governors, and these I have on my neck are fine coral +beads, with ave-marias and paternosters of beaten gold, and I am a +governess." + +"God help us," said the curate, "we don't understand you, Teresa, or know +what you are talking about." + +"There, you may see it yourselves," said Teresa, and she handed them the +letters. + +The curate read them out for Samson Carrasco to hear, and Samson and he +regarded one another with looks of astonishment at what they had read, +and the bachelor asked who had brought the letters. Teresa in reply bade +them come with her to her house and they would see the messenger, a most +elegant youth, who had brought another present which was worth as much +more. The curate took the coral beads from her neck and examined them +again and again, and having satisfied himself as to their fineness he +fell to wondering afresh, and said, "By the gown I wear I don't know what +to say or think of these letters and presents; on the one hand I can see +and feel the fineness of these coral beads, and on the other I read how a +duchess sends to beg for a couple of dozen of acorns." + +"Square that if you can," said Carrasco; "well, let's go and see the +messenger, and from him we'll learn something about this mystery that has +turned up." + +They did so, and Teresa returned with them. They found the page sifting a +little barley for his horse, and Sanchica cutting a rasher of bacon to be +paved with eggs for his dinner. His looks and his handsome apparel +pleased them both greatly; and after they had saluted him courteously, +and he them, Samson begged him to give them his news, as well of Don +Quixote as of Sancho Panza, for, he said, though they had read the +letters from Sancho and her ladyship the duchess, they were still puzzled +and could not make out what was meant by Sancho's government, and above +all of an island, when all or most of those in the Mediterranean belonged +to his Majesty. + +To this the page replied, "As to Senor Sancho Panza's being a governor +there is no doubt whatever; but whether it is an island or not that he +governs, with that I have nothing to do; suffice it that it is a town of +more than a thousand inhabitants; with regard to the acorns I may tell +you my lady the duchess is so unpretending and unassuming that, not to +speak of sending to beg for acorns from a peasant woman, she has been +known to send to ask for the loan of a comb from one of her neighbours; +for I would have your worships know that the ladies of Aragon, though +they are just as illustrious, are not so punctilious and haughty as the +Castilian ladies; they treat people with greater familiarity." + +In the middle of this conversation Sanchica came in with her skirt full +of eggs, and said she to the page, "Tell me, senor, does my father wear +trunk-hose since he has been governor?" + +"I have not noticed," said the page; "but no doubt he wears them." + +"Ah! my God!" said Sanchica, "what a sight it must be to see my father in +tights! Isn't it odd that ever since I was born I have had a longing to +see my father in trunk-hose?" + +"As things go you will see that if you live," said the page; "by God he +is in the way to take the road with a sunshade if the government only +lasts him two months more." + +The curate and the bachelor could see plainly enough that the page spoke +in a waggish vein; but the fineness of the coral beads, and the hunting +suit that Sancho sent (for Teresa had already shown it to them) did away +with the impression; and they could not help laughing at Sanchica's wish, +and still more when Teresa said, "Senor curate, look about if there's +anybody here going to Madrid or Toledo, to buy me a hooped petticoat, a +proper fashionable one of the best quality; for indeed and indeed I must +do honour to my husband's government as well as I can; nay, if I am put +to it and have to, I'll go to Court and set a coach like all the world; +for she who has a governor for her husband may very well have one and +keep one." + +"And why not, mother!" said Sanchica; "would to God it were to-day +instead of to-morrow, even though they were to say when they saw me +seated in the coach with my mother, 'See that rubbish, that +garlic-stuffed fellow's daughter, how she goes stretched at her ease in a +coach as if she was a she-pope!' But let them tramp through the mud, and +let me go in my coach with my feet off the ground. Bad luck to backbiters +all over the world; 'let me go warm and the people may laugh.' Do I say +right, mother?" + +"To be sure you do, my child," said Teresa; "and all this good luck, and +even more, my good Sancho foretold me; and thou wilt see, my daughter, he +won't stop till he has made me a countess; for to make a beginning is +everything in luck; and as I have heard thy good father say many a time +(for besides being thy father he's the father of proverbs too), 'When +they offer thee a heifer, run with a halter; when they offer thee a +government, take it; when they would give thee a county, seize it; when +they say, "Here, here!" to thee with something good, swallow it.' Oh no! +go to sleep, and don't answer the strokes of good fortune and the lucky +chances that are knocking at the door of your house!" + +"And what do I care," added Sanchica, "whether anybody says when he sees +me holding my head up, 'The dog saw himself in hempen breeches,' and the +rest of it?" + +Hearing this the curate said, "I do believe that all this family of the +Panzas are born with a sackful of proverbs in their insides, every one of +them; I never saw one of them that does not pour them out at all times +and on all occasions." + +"That is true," said the page, "for Senor Governor Sancho utters them at +every turn; and though a great many of them are not to the purpose, still +they amuse one, and my lady the duchess and the duke praise them highly." + +"Then you still maintain that all this about Sancho's government is true, +senor," said the bachelor, "and that there actually is a duchess who +sends him presents and writes to him? Because we, although we have +handled the present and read the letters, don't believe it and suspect it +to be something in the line of our fellow-townsman Don Quixote, who +fancies that everything is done by enchantment; and for this reason I am +almost ready to say that I'd like to touch and feel your worship to see +whether you are a mere ambassador of the imagination or a man of flesh +and blood." + +"All I know, sirs," replied the page, "is that I am a real ambassador, +and that Senor Sancho Panza is governor as a matter of fact, and that my +lord and lady the duke and duchess can give, and have given him this same +government, and that I have heard the said Sancho Panza bears himself +very stoutly therein; whether there be any enchantment in all this or +not, it is for your worships to settle between you; for that's all I know +by the oath I swear, and that is by the life of my parents whom I have +still alive, and love dearly." + +"It may be so," said the bachelor; "but dubitat Augustinus." + +"Doubt who will," said the page; "what I have told you is the truth, and +that will always rise above falsehood as oil above water; if not operibus +credite, et non verbis. Let one of you come with me, and he will see with +his eyes what he does not believe with his ears." + +"It's for me to make that trip," said Sanchica; "take me with you, senor, +behind you on your horse; for I'll go with all my heart to see my +father." + +"Governors' daughters," said the page, "must not travel along the roads +alone, but accompanied by coaches and litters and a great number of +attendants." + +"By God," said Sanchica, "I can go just as well mounted on a she-ass as +in a coach; what a dainty lass you must take me for!" + +"Hush, girl," said Teresa; "you don't know what you're talking about; the +gentleman is quite right, for 'as the time so the behaviour;' when it was +Sancho it was 'Sancha;' when it is governor it's 'senora;' I don't know +if I'm right." + +"Senora Teresa says more than she is aware of," said the page; "and now +give me something to eat and let me go at once, for I mean to return this +evening." + +"Come and do penance with me," said the curate at this; "for Senora +Teresa has more will than means to serve so worthy a guest." + +The page refused, but had to consent at last for his own sake; and the +curate took him home with him very gladly, in order to have an +opportunity of questioning him at leisure about Don Quixote and his +doings. The bachelor offered to write the letters in reply for Teresa; +but she did not care to let him mix himself up in her affairs, for she +thought him somewhat given to joking; and so she gave a cake and a couple +of eggs to a young acolyte who was a penman, and he wrote for her two +letters, one for her husband and the other for the duchess, dictated out +of her own head, which are not the worst inserted in this great history, +as will be seen farther on. + +Chapter LI. - +Of the progress of Sancho's government, and other such entertaining +matters + +Day came after the night of the governor's round; a night which the +head-carver passed without sleeping, so were his thoughts of the face and +air and beauty of the disguised damsel, while the majordomo spent what +was left of it in writing an account to his lord and lady of all Sancho +said and did, being as much amazed at his sayings as at his doings, for +there was a mixture of shrewdness and simplicity in all his words and +deeds. The senor governor got up, and by Doctor Pedro Recio's directions +they made him break his fast on a little conserve and four sups of cold +water, which Sancho would have readily exchanged for a piece of bread and +a bunch of grapes; but seeing there was no help for it, he submitted with +no little sorrow of heart and discomfort of stomach; Pedro Recio having +persuaded him that light and delicate diet enlivened the wits, and that +was what was most essential for persons placed in command and in +responsible situations, where they have to employ not only the bodily +powers but those of the mind also. + +By means of this sophistry Sancho was made to endure hunger, and hunger +so keen that in his heart he cursed the government, and even him who had +given it to him; however, with his hunger and his conserve he undertook +to deliver judgments that day, and the first thing that came before him +was a question that was submitted to him by a stranger, in the presence +of the majordomo and the other attendants, and it was in these words: +"Senor, a large river separated two districts of one and the same +lordship--will your worship please to pay attention, for the case is an +important and a rather knotty one? Well then, on this river there was a +bridge, and at one end of it a gallows, and a sort of tribunal, where +four judges commonly sat to administer the law which the lord of river, +bridge and the lordship had enacted, and which was to this effect, 'If +anyone crosses by this bridge from one side to the other he shall declare +on oath where he is going to and with what object; and if he swears +truly, he shall be allowed to pass, but if falsely, he shall be put to +death for it by hanging on the gallows erected there, without any +remission.' Though the law and its severe penalty were known, many +persons crossed, but in their declarations it was easy to see at once +they were telling the truth, and the judges let them pass free. It +happened, however, that one man, when they came to take his declaration, +swore and said that by the oath he took he was going to die upon that +gallows that stood there, and nothing else. The judges held a +consultation over the oath, and they said, 'If we let this man pass free +he has sworn falsely, and by the law he ought to die; but if we hang him, +as he swore he was going to die on that gallows, and therefore swore the +truth, by the same law he ought to go free.' It is asked of your worship, +senor governor, what are the judges to do with this man? For they are +still in doubt and perplexity; and having heard of your worship's acute +and exalted intellect, they have sent me to entreat your worship on their +behalf to give your opinion on this very intricate and puzzling case." + +To this Sancho made answer, "Indeed those gentlemen the judges that send +you to me might have spared themselves the trouble, for I have more of +the obtuse than the acute in me; but repeat the case over again, so that +I may understand it, and then perhaps I may be able to hit the point." + +The querist repeated again and again what he had said before, and then +Sancho said, "It seems to me I can set the matter right in a moment, and +in this way; the man swears that he is going to die upon the gallows; but +if he dies upon it, he has sworn the truth, and by the law enacted +deserves to go free and pass over the bridge; but if they don't hang him, +then he has sworn falsely, and by the same law deserves to be hanged." + +"It is as the senor governor says," said the messenger; "and as regards a +complete comprehension of the case, there is nothing left to desire or +hesitate about." + +"Well then I say," said Sancho, "that of this man they should let pass +the part that has sworn truly, and hang the part that has lied; and in +this way the conditions of the passage will be fully complied with." + +"But then, senor governor," replied the querist, "the man will have to be +divided into two parts; and if he is divided of course he will die; and +so none of the requirements of the law will be carried out, and it is +absolutely necessary to comply with it." + +"Look here, my good sir," said Sancho; "either I'm a numskull or else +there is the same reason for this passenger dying as for his living and +passing over the bridge; for if the truth saves him the falsehood equally +condemns him; and that being the case it is my opinion you should say to +the gentlemen who sent you to me that as the arguments for condemning him +and for absolving him are exactly balanced, they should let him pass +freely, as it is always more praiseworthy to do good than to do evil; +this I would give signed with my name if I knew how to sign; and what I +have said in this case is not out of my own head, but one of the many +precepts my master Don Quixote gave me the night before I left to become +governor of this island, that came into my mind, and it was this, that +when there was any doubt about the justice of a case I should lean to +mercy; and it is God's will that I should recollect it now, for it fits +this case as if it was made for it." + +"That is true," said the majordomo; "and I maintain that Lycurgus +himself, who gave laws to the Lacedemonians, could not have pronounced a +better decision than the great Panza has given; let the morning's +audience close with this, and I will see that the senor governor has +dinner entirely to his liking." + +"That's all I ask for--fair play," said Sancho; "give me my dinner, and +then let it rain cases and questions on me, and I'll despatch them in a +twinkling." + +The majordomo kept his word, for he felt it against his conscience to +kill so wise a governor by hunger; particularly as he intended to have +done with him that same night, playing off the last joke he was +commissioned to practise upon him. + +It came to pass, then, that after he had dined that day, in opposition to +the rules and aphorisms of Doctor Tirteafuera, as they were taking away +the cloth there came a courier with a letter from Don Quixote for the +governor. Sancho ordered the secretary to read it to himself, and if +there was nothing in it that demanded secrecy to read it aloud. The +secretary did so, and after he had skimmed the contents he said, "It may +well be read aloud, for what Senor Don Quixote writes to your worship +deserves to be printed or written in letters of gold, and it is as +follows." + +DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA'S LETTER TO SANCHO PANZA, GOVERNOR OF THE ISLAND +OF BARATARIA. + +When I was expecting to hear of thy stupidities and blunders, friend +Sancho, I have received intelligence of thy displays of good sense, for +which I give special thanks to heaven that can raise the poor from the +dunghill and of fools to make wise men. They tell me thou dost govern as +if thou wert a man, and art a man as if thou wert a beast, so great is +the humility wherewith thou dost comport thyself. But I would have thee +bear in mind, Sancho, that very often it is fitting and necessary for the +authority of office to resist the humility of the heart; for the seemly +array of one who is invested with grave duties should be such as they +require and not measured by what his own humble tastes may lead him to +prefer. Dress well; a stick dressed up does not look like a stick; I do +not say thou shouldst wear trinkets or fine raiment, or that being a +judge thou shouldst dress like a soldier, but that thou shouldst array +thyself in the apparel thy office requires, and that at the same time it +be neat and handsome. To win the good-will of the people thou governest +there are two things, among others, that thou must do; one is to be civil +to all (this, however, I told thee before), and the other to take care +that food be abundant, for there is nothing that vexes the heart of the +poor more than hunger and high prices. Make not many proclamations; but +those thou makest take care that they be good ones, and above all that +they be observed and carried out; for proclamations that are not observed +are the same as if they did not exist; nay, they encourage the idea that +the prince who had the wisdom and authority to make them had not the +power to enforce them; and laws that threaten and are not enforced come +to be like the log, the king of the frogs, that frightened them at first, +but that in time they despised and mounted upon. Be a father to virtue +and a stepfather to vice. Be not always strict, nor yet always lenient, +but observe a mean between these two extremes, for in that is the aim of +wisdom. Visit the gaols, the slaughter-houses, and the market-places; for +the presence of the governor is of great importance in such places; it +comforts the prisoners who are in hopes of a speedy release, it is the +bugbear of the butchers who have then to give just weight, and it is the +terror of the market-women for the same reason. Let it not be seen that +thou art (even if perchance thou art, which I do not believe) covetous, a +follower of women, or a glutton; for when the people and those that have +dealings with thee become aware of thy special weakness they will bring +their batteries to bear upon thee in that quarter, till they have brought +thee down to the depths of perdition. Consider and reconsider, con and +con over again the advices and the instructions I gave thee before thy +departure hence to thy government, and thou wilt see that in them, if +thou dost follow them, thou hast a help at hand that will lighten for +thee the troubles and difficulties that beset governors at every step. +Write to thy lord and lady and show thyself grateful to them, for +ingratitude is the daughter of pride, and one of the greatest sins we +know of; and he who is grateful to those who have been good to him shows +that he will be so to God also who has bestowed and still bestows so many +blessings upon him. + +My lady the duchess sent off a messenger with thy suit and another +present to thy wife Teresa Panza; we expect the answer every moment. I +have been a little indisposed through a certain scratching I came in for, +not very much to the benefit of my nose; but it was nothing; for if there +are enchanters who maltreat me, there are also some who defend me. Let me +know if the majordomo who is with thee had any share in the Trifaldi +performance, as thou didst suspect; and keep me informed of everything +that happens thee, as the distance is so short; all the more as I am +thinking of giving over very shortly this idle life I am now leading, for +I was not born for it. A thing has occurred to me which I am inclined to +think will put me out of favour with the duke and duchess; but though I +am sorry for it I do not care, for after all I must obey my calling +rather than their pleasure, in accordance with the common saying, amicus +Plato, sed magis amica veritas. I quote this Latin to thee because I +conclude that since thou hast been a governor thou wilt have learned it. +Adieu; God keep thee from being an object of pity to anyone. + +Thy friend, DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA. + +Sancho listened to the letter with great attention, and it was praised +and considered wise by all who heard it; he then rose up from table, and +calling his secretary shut himself in with him in his own room, and +without putting it off any longer set about answering his master Don +Quixote at once; and he bade the secretary write down what he told him +without adding or suppressing anything, which he did, and the answer was +to the following effect. + +SANCHO PANZA'S LETTER TO DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA. + +The pressure of business is so great upon me that I have no time to +scratch my head or even to cut my nails; and I have them so long-God send +a remedy for it. I say this, master of my soul, that you may not be +surprised if I have not until now sent you word of how I fare, well or +ill, in this government, in which I am suffering more hunger than when we +two were wandering through the woods and wastes. + +My lord the duke wrote to me the other day to warn me that certain spies +had got into this island to kill me; but up to the present I have not +found out any except a certain doctor who receives a salary in this town +for killing all the governors that come here; he is called Doctor Pedro +Recio, and is from Tirteafuera; so you see what a name he has to make me +dread dying under his hands. This doctor says of himself that he does not +cure diseases when there are any, but prevents them coming, and the +medicines he uses are diet and more diet until he brings one down to bare +bones; as if leanness was not worse than fever. + +In short he is killing me with hunger, and I am dying myself of vexation; +for when I thought I was coming to this government to get my meat hot and +my drink cool, and take my ease between holland sheets on feather beds, I +find I have come to do penance as if I was a hermit; and as I don't do it +willingly I suspect that in the end the devil will carry me off. + +So far I have not handled any dues or taken any bribes, and I don't know +what to think of it; for here they tell me that the governors that come +to this island, before entering it have plenty of money either given to +them or lent to them by the people of the town, and that this is the +usual custom not only here but with all who enter upon governments. + +Last night going the rounds I came upon a fair damsel in man's clothes, +and a brother of hers dressed as a woman; my head-carver has fallen in +love with the girl, and has in his own mind chosen her for a wife, so he +says, and I have chosen youth for a son-in-law; to-day we are going to +explain our intentions to the father of the pair, who is one Diego de la +Llana, a gentleman and an old Christian as much as you please. + +I have visited the market-places, as your worship advises me, and +yesterday I found a stall-keeper selling new hazel nuts and proved her to +have mixed a bushel of old empty rotten nuts with a bushel of new; I +confiscated the whole for the children of the charity-school, who will +know how to distinguish them well enough, and I sentenced her not to come +into the market-place for a fortnight; they told me I did bravely. I can +tell your worship it is commonly said in this town that there are no +people worse than the market-women, for they are all barefaced, +unconscionable, and impudent, and I can well believe it from what I have +seen of them in other towns. + +I am very glad my lady the duchess has written to my wife Teresa Panza +and sent her the present your worship speaks of; and I will strive to +show myself grateful when the time comes; kiss her hands for me, and tell +her I say she has not thrown it into a sack with a hole in it, as she +will see in the end. I should not like your worship to have any +difference with my lord and lady; for if you fall out with them it is +plain it must do me harm; and as you give me advice to be grateful it +will not do for your worship not to be so yourself to those who have +shown you such kindness, and by whom you have been treated so hospitably +in their castle. + +That about the scratching I don't understand; but I suppose it must be +one of the ill-turns the wicked enchanters are always doing your worship; +when we meet I shall know all about it. I wish I could send your worship +something; but I don't know what to send, unless it be some very curious +clyster pipes, to work with bladders, that they make in this island; but +if the office remains with me I'll find out something to send, one way or +another. If my wife Teresa Panza writes to me, pay the postage and send +me the letter, for I have a very great desire to hear how my house and +wife and children are going on. And so, may God deliver your worship from +evil-minded enchanters, and bring me well and peacefully out of this +government, which I doubt, for I expect to take leave of it and my life +together, from the way Doctor Pedro Recio treats me. + +Your worship's servant + +SANCHO PANZA THE GOVERNOR. + +The secretary sealed the letter, and immediately dismissed the courier; +and those who were carrying on the joke against Sancho putting their +heads together arranged how he was to be dismissed from the government. +Sancho spent the afternoon in drawing up certain ordinances relating to +the good government of what he fancied the island; and he ordained that +there were to be no provision hucksters in the State, and that men might +import wine into it from any place they pleased, provided they declared +the quarter it came from, so that a price might be put upon it according +to its quality, reputation, and the estimation it was held in; and he +that watered his wine, or changed the name, was to forfeit his life for +it. He reduced the prices of all manner of shoes, boots, and stockings, +but of shoes in particular, as they seemed to him to run extravagantly +high. He established a fixed rate for servants' wages, which were +becoming recklessly exorbitant. He laid extremely heavy penalties upon +those who sang lewd or loose songs either by day or night. He decreed +that no blind man should sing of any miracle in verse, unless he could +produce authentic evidence that it was true, for it was his opinion that +most of those the blind men sing are trumped up, to the detriment of the +true ones. He established and created an alguacil of the poor, not to +harass them, but to examine them and see whether they really were so; for +many a sturdy thief or drunkard goes about under cover of a make-believe +crippled limb or a sham sore. In a word, he made so many good rules that +to this day they are preserved there, and are called The constitutions of +the great governor Sancho Panza. + +Chapter LII. - +Wherein is related the adventure of the second distressed or afflicted +Duenna, otherwise called Dona Rodriguez + +Cide Hamete relates that Don Quixote being now cured of his scratches +felt that the life he was leading in the castle was entirely inconsistent +with the order of chivalry he professed, so he determined to ask the duke +and duchess to permit him to take his departure for Saragossa, as the +time of the festival was now drawing near, and he hoped to win there the +suit of armour which is the prize at festivals of the sort. But one day +at table with the duke and duchess, just as he was about to carry his +resolution into effect and ask for their permission, lo and behold +suddenly there came in through the door of the great hall two women, as +they afterwards proved to be, draped in mourning from head to foot, one +of whom approaching Don Quixote flung herself at full length at his feet, +pressing her lips to them, and uttering moans so sad, so deep, and so +doleful that she put all who heard and saw her into a state of +perplexity; and though the duke and duchess supposed it must be some joke +their servants were playing off upon Don Quixote, still the earnest way +the woman sighed and moaned and wept puzzled them and made them feel +uncertain, until Don Quixote, touched with compassion, raised her up and +made her unveil herself and remove the mantle from her tearful face. She +complied and disclosed what no one could have ever anticipated, for she +disclosed the countenance of Dona Rodriguez, the duenna of the house; the +other female in mourning being her daughter, who had been made a fool of +by the rich farmer's son. All who knew her were filled with astonishment, +and the duke and duchess more than any; for though they thought her a +simpleton and a weak creature, they did not think her capable of crazy +pranks. Dona Rodriguez, at length, turning to her master and mistress +said to them, "Will your excellences be pleased to permit me to speak to +this gentleman for a moment, for it is requisite I should do so in order +to get successfully out of the business in which the boldness of an +evil-minded clown has involved me?" + +The duke said that for his part he gave her leave, and that she might +speak with Senor Don Quixote as much as she liked. + +She then, turning to Don Quixote and addressing herself to him said, +"Some days since, valiant knight, I gave you an account of the injustice +and treachery of a wicked farmer to my dearly beloved daughter, the +unhappy damsel here before you, and you promised me to take her part and +right the wrong that has been done her; but now it has come to my hearing +that you are about to depart from this castle in quest of such fair +adventures as God may vouchsafe to you; therefore, before you take the +road, I would that you challenge this froward rustic, and compel him to +marry my daughter in fulfillment of the promise he gave her to become her +husband before he seduced her; for to expect that my lord the duke will +do me justice is to ask pears from the elm tree, for the reason I stated +privately to your worship; and so may our Lord grant you good health and +forsake us not." + +To these words Don Quixote replied very gravely and solemnly, "Worthy +duenna, check your tears, or rather dry them, and spare your sighs, for I +take it upon myself to obtain redress for your daughter, for whom it +would have been better not to have been so ready to believe lovers' +promises, which are for the most part quickly made and very slowly +performed; and so, with my lord the duke's leave, I will at once go in +quest of this inhuman youth, and will find him out and challenge him and +slay him, if so be he refuses to keep his promised word; for the chief +object of my profession is to spare the humble and chastise the proud; I +mean, to help the distressed and destroy the oppressors." + +"There is no necessity," said the duke, "for your worship to take the +trouble of seeking out the rustic of whom this worthy duenna complains, +nor is there any necessity, either, for asking my leave to challenge him; +for I admit him duly challenged, and will take care that he is informed +of the challenge, and accepts it, and comes to answer it in person to +this castle of mine, where I shall afford to both a fair field, observing +all the conditions which are usually and properly observed in such +trials, and observing too justice to both sides, as all princes who offer +a free field to combatants within the limits of their lordships are bound +to do." + +"Then with that assurance and your highness's good leave," said Don +Quixote, "I hereby for this once waive my privilege of gentle blood, and +come down and put myself on a level with the lowly birth of the +wrong-doer, making myself equal with him and enabling him to enter into +combat with me; and so, I challenge and defy him, though absent, on the +plea of his malfeasance in breaking faith with this poor damsel, who was +a maiden and now by his misdeed is none; and say that he shall fulfill +the promise he gave her to become her lawful husband, or else stake his +life upon the question." + +And then plucking off a glove he threw it down in the middle of the hall, +and the duke picked it up, saying, as he had said before, that he +accepted the challenge in the name of his vassal, and fixed six days +thence as the time, the courtyard of the castle as the place, and for +arms the customary ones of knights, lance and shield and full armour, +with all the other accessories, without trickery, guile, or charms of any +sort, and examined and passed by the judges of the field. "But first of +all," he said, "it is requisite that this worthy duenna and unworthy +damsel should place their claim for justice in the hands of Don Quixote; +for otherwise nothing can be done, nor can the said challenge be brought +to a lawful issue." + +"I do so place it," replied the duenna. + +"And I too," added her daughter, all in tears and covered with shame and +confusion. + +This declaration having been made, and the duke having settled in his own +mind what he would do in the matter, the ladies in black withdrew, and +the duchess gave orders that for the future they were not to be treated +as servants of hers, but as lady adventurers who came to her house to +demand justice; so they gave them a room to themselves and waited on them +as they would on strangers, to the consternation of the other +women-servants, who did not know where the folly and imprudence of Dona +Rodriguez and her unlucky daughter would stop. + +And now, to complete the enjoyment of the feast and bring the dinner to a +satisfactory end, lo and behold the page who had carried the letters and +presents to Teresa Panza, the wife of the governor Sancho, entered the +hall; and the duke and duchess were very well pleased to see him, being +anxious to know the result of his journey; but when they asked him the +page said in reply that he could not give it before so many people or in +a few words, and begged their excellences to be pleased to let it wait +for a private opportunity, and in the meantime amuse themselves with +these letters; and taking out the letters he placed them in the duchess's +hand. One bore by way of address, Letter for my lady the Duchess +So-and-so, of I don't know where; and the other To my husband Sancho +Panza, governor of the island of Barataria, whom God prosper longer than +me. The duchess's bread would not bake, as the saying is, until she had +read her letter; and having looked over it herself and seen that it might +be read aloud for the duke and all present to hear, she read out as +follows. + +TERESA PANZA'S LETTER TO THE DUCHESS. + +The letter your highness wrote me, my lady, gave me great pleasure, for +indeed I found it very welcome. The string of coral beads is very fine, +and my husband's hunting suit does not fall short of it. All this village +is very much pleased that your ladyship has made a governor of my good +man Sancho; though nobody will believe it, particularly the curate, and +Master Nicholas the barber, and the bachelor Samson Carrasco; but I don't +care for that, for so long as it is true, as it is, they may all say what +they like; though, to tell the truth, if the coral beads and the suit had +not come I would not have believed it either; for in this village +everybody thinks my husband a numskull, and except for governing a flock +of goats, they cannot fancy what sort of government he can be fit for. +God grant it, and direct him according as he sees his children stand in +need of it. I am resolved with your worship's leave, lady of my soul, to +make the most of this fair day, and go to Court to stretch myself at ease +in a coach, and make all those I have envying me already burst their eyes +out; so I beg your excellence to order my husband to send me a small +trifle of money, and to let it be something to speak of, because one's +expenses are heavy at the Court; for a loaf costs a real, and meat thirty +maravedis a pound, which is beyond everything; and if he does not want me +to go let him tell me in time, for my feet are on the fidgets to be off; +and my friends and neighbours tell me that if my daughter and I make a +figure and a brave show at Court, my husband will come to be known far +more by me than I by him, for of course plenty of people will ask, "Who +are those ladies in that coach?" and some servant of mine will answer, +"The wife and daughter of Sancho Panza, governor of the island of +Barataria;" and in this way Sancho will become known, and I'll be thought +well of, and "to Rome for everything." I am as vexed as vexed can be that +they have gathered no acorns this year in our village; for all that I +send your highness about half a peck that I went to the wood to gather +and pick out one by one myself, and I could find no bigger ones; I wish +they were as big as ostrich eggs. + +Let not your high mightiness forget to write to me; and I will take care +to answer, and let you know how I am, and whatever news there may be in +this place, where I remain, praying our Lord to have your highness in his +keeping and not to forget me. + +Sancha my daughter, and my son, kiss your worship's hands. + +She who would rather see your ladyship than write to you, + +Your servant, + +TERESA PANZA. + +All were greatly amused by Teresa Panza's letter, but particularly the +duke and duchess; and the duchess asked Don Quixote's opinion whether +they might open the letter that had come for the governor, which she +suspected must be very good. Don Quixote said that to gratify them he +would open it, and did so, and found that it ran as follows. + +TERESA PANZA'S LETTER TO HER HUSBAND SANCHO PANZA. + +I got thy letter, Sancho of my soul, and I promise thee and swear as a +Catholic Christian that I was within two fingers' breadth of going mad I +was so happy. I can tell thee, brother, when I came to hear that thou +wert a governor I thought I should have dropped dead with pure joy; and +thou knowest they say sudden joy kills as well as great sorrow; and as +for Sanchica thy daughter, she leaked from sheer happiness. I had before +me the suit thou didst send me, and the coral beads my lady the duchess +sent me round my neck, and the letters in my hands, and there was the +bearer of them standing by, and in spite of all this I verily believed +and thought that what I saw and handled was all a dream; for who could +have thought that a goatherd would come to be a governor of islands? Thou +knowest, my friend, what my mother used to say, that one must live long +to see much; I say it because I expect to see more if I live longer; for +I don't expect to stop until I see thee a farmer of taxes or a collector +of revenue, which are offices where, though the devil carries off those +who make a bad use of them, still they make and handle money. My lady the +duchess will tell thee the desire I have to go to the Court; consider the +matter and let me know thy pleasure; I will try to do honour to thee by +going in a coach. + +Neither the curate, nor the barber, nor the bachelor, nor even the +sacristan, can believe that thou art a governor, and they say the whole +thing is a delusion or an enchantment affair, like everything belonging +to thy master Don Quixote; and Samson says he must go in search of thee +and drive the government out of thy head and the madness out of Don +Quixote's skull; I only laugh, and look at my string of beads, and plan +out the dress I am going to make for our daughter out of thy suit. I sent +some acorns to my lady the duchess; I wish they had been gold. Send me +some strings of pearls if they are in fashion in that island. Here is the +news of the village; La Berrueca has married her daughter to a +good-for-nothing painter, who came here to paint anything that might turn +up. The council gave him an order to paint his Majesty's arms over the +door of the town-hall; he asked two ducats, which they paid him in +advance; he worked for eight days, and at the end of them had nothing +painted, and then said he had no turn for painting such trifling things; +he returned the money, and for all that has married on the pretence of +being a good workman; to be sure he has now laid aside his paint-brush +and taken a spade in hand, and goes to the field like a gentleman. Pedro +Lobo's son has received the first orders and tonsure, with the intention +of becoming a priest. Minguilla, Mingo Silvato's granddaughter, found it +out, and has gone to law with him on the score of having given her +promise of marriage. Evil tongues say she is with child by him, but he +denies it stoutly. There are no olives this year, and there is not a drop +of vinegar to be had in the whole village. A company of soldiers passed +through here; when they left they took away with them three of the girls +of the village; I will not tell thee who they are; perhaps they will come +back, and they will be sure to find those who will take them for wives +with all their blemishes, good or bad. Sanchica is making bonelace; she +earns eight maravedis a day clear, which she puts into a moneybox as a +help towards house furnishing; but now that she is a governor's daughter +thou wilt give her a portion without her working for it. The fountain in +the plaza has run dry. A flash of lightning struck the gibbet, and I wish +they all lit there. I look for an answer to this, and to know thy mind +about my going to the Court; and so, God keep thee longer than me, or as +long, for I would not leave thee in this world without me. + +Thy wife, + +TERESA PANZA. + +The letters were applauded, laughed over, relished, and admired; and +then, as if to put the seal to the business, the courier arrived, +bringing the one Sancho sent to Don Quixote, and this, too, was read out, +and it raised some doubts as to the governor's simplicity. The duchess +withdrew to hear from the page about his adventures in Sancho's village, +which he narrated at full length without leaving a single circumstance +unmentioned. He gave her the acorns, and also a cheese which Teresa had +given him as being particularly good and superior to those of Tronchon. +The duchess received it with greatest delight, in which we will leave +her, to describe the end of the government of the great Sancho Panza, +flower and mirror of all governors of islands. + +Chapter LIII. - +Of the troublous end and termination Sancho Panza's government came to + +To fancy that in this life anything belonging to it will remain for ever +in the same state is an idle fancy; on the contrary, in it everything +seems to go in a circle, I mean round and round. The spring succeeds the +summer, the summer the fall, the fall the autumn, the autumn the winter, +and the winter the spring, and so time rolls with never-ceasing wheel. +Man's life alone, swifter than time, speeds onward to its end without any +hope of renewal, save it be in that other life which is endless and +boundless. Thus saith Cide Hamete the Mahometan philosopher; for there +are many that by the light of nature alone, without the light of faith, +have a comprehension of the fleeting nature and instability of this +present life and the endless duration of that eternal life we hope for; +but our author is here speaking of the rapidity with which Sancho's +government came to an end, melted away, disappeared, vanished as it were +in smoke and shadow. For as he lay in bed on the night of the seventh day +of his government, sated, not with bread and wine, but with delivering +judgments and giving opinions and making laws and proclamations, just as +sleep, in spite of hunger, was beginning to close his eyelids, he heard +such a noise of bell-ringing and shouting that one would have fancied the +whole island was going to the bottom. He sat up in bed and remained +listening intently to try if he could make out what could be the cause of +so great an uproar; not only, however, was he unable to discover what it +was, but as countless drums and trumpets now helped to swell the din of +the bells and shouts, he was more puzzled than ever, and filled with fear +and terror; and getting up he put on a pair of slippers because of the +dampness of the floor, and without throwing a dressing gown or anything +of the kind over him he rushed out of the door of his room, just in time +to see approaching along a corridor a band of more than twenty persons +with lighted torches and naked swords in their hands, all shouting out, +"To arms, to arms, senor governor, to arms! The enemy is in the island in +countless numbers, and we are lost unless your skill and valour come to +our support." + +Keeping up this noise, tumult, and uproar, they came to where Sancho +stood dazed and bewildered by what he saw and heard, and as they +approached one of them called out to him, "Arm at once, your lordship, if +you would not have yourself destroyed and the whole island lost." + +"What have I to do with arming?" said Sancho. "What do I know about arms +or supports? Better leave all that to my master Don Quixote, who will +settle it and make all safe in a trice; for I, sinner that I am, God help +me, don't understand these scuffles." + +"Ah, senor governor," said another, "what slackness of mettle this is! +Arm yourself; here are arms for you, offensive and defensive; come out to +the plaza and be our leader and captain; it falls upon you by right, for +you are our governor." + +"Arm me then, in God's name," said Sancho, and they at once produced two +large shields they had come provided with, and placed them upon him over +his shirt, without letting him put on anything else, one shield in front +and the other behind, and passing his arms through openings they had +made, they bound him tight with ropes, so that there he was walled and +boarded up as straight as a spindle and unable to bend his knees or stir +a single step. In his hand they placed a lance, on which he leant to keep +himself from falling, and as soon as they had him thus fixed they bade +him march forward and lead them on and give them all courage; for with +him for their guide and lamp and morning star, they were sure to bring +their business to a successful issue. + +"How am I to march, unlucky being that I am?" said Sancho, "when I can't +stir my knee-caps, for these boards I have bound so tight to my body +won't let me. What you must do is carry me in your arms, and lay me +across or set me upright in some postern, and I'll hold it either with +this lance or with my body." + +"On, senor governor!" cried another, "it is fear more than the boards +that keeps you from moving; make haste, stir yourself, for there is no +time to lose; the enemy is increasing in numbers, the shouts grow louder, +and the danger is pressing." + +Urged by these exhortations and reproaches the poor governor made an +attempt to advance, but fell to the ground with such a crash that he +fancied he had broken himself all to pieces. There he lay like a tortoise +enclosed in its shell, or a side of bacon between two kneading-troughs, +or a boat bottom up on the beach; nor did the gang of jokers feel any +compassion for him when they saw him down; so far from that, +extinguishing their torches they began to shout afresh and to renew the +calls to arms with such energy, trampling on poor Sancho, and slashing at +him over the shield with their swords in such a way that, if he had not +gathered himself together and made himself small and drawn in his head +between the shields, it would have fared badly with the poor governor, +as, squeezed into that narrow compass, he lay, sweating and sweating +again, and commending himself with all his heart to God to deliver him +from his present peril. Some stumbled over him, others fell upon him, and +one there was who took up a position on top of him for some time, and +from thence as if from a watchtower issued orders to the troops, shouting +out, "Here, our side! Here the enemy is thickest! Hold the breach there! +Shut that gate! Barricade those ladders! Here with your stink-pots of +pitch and resin, and kettles of boiling oil! Block the streets with +feather beds!" In short, in his ardour he mentioned every little thing, +and every implement and engine of war by means of which an assault upon a +city is warded off, while the bruised and battered Sancho, who heard and +suffered all, was saying to himself, "O if it would only please the Lord +to let the island be lost at once, and I could see myself either dead or +out of this torture!" Heaven heard his prayer, and when he least expected +it he heard voices exclaiming, "Victory, victory! The enemy retreats +beaten! Come, senor governor, get up, and come and enjoy the victory, and +divide the spoils that have been won from the foe by the might of that +invincible arm." + +"Lift me up," said the wretched Sancho in a woebegone voice. They helped +him to rise, and as soon as he was on his feet said, "The enemy I have +beaten you may nail to my forehead; I don't want to divide the spoils of +the foe, I only beg and entreat some friend, if I have one, to give me a +sup of wine, for I'm parched with thirst, and wipe me dry, for I'm +turning to water." + +They rubbed him down, fetched him wine and unbound the shields, and he +seated himself upon his bed, and with fear, agitation, and fatigue he +fainted away. Those who had been concerned in the joke were now sorry +they had pushed it so far; however, the anxiety his fainting away had +caused them was relieved by his returning to himself. He asked what +o'clock it was; they told him it was just daybreak. He said no more, and +in silence began to dress himself, while all watched him, waiting to see +what the haste with which he was putting on his clothes meant. + +He got himself dressed at last, and then, slowly, for he was sorely +bruised and could not go fast, he proceeded to the stable, followed by +all who were present, and going up to Dapple embraced him and gave him a +loving kiss on the forehead, and said to him, not without tears in his +eyes, "Come along, comrade and friend and partner of my toils and +sorrows; when I was with you and had no cares to trouble me except +mending your harness and feeding your little carcass, happy were my +hours, my days, and my years; but since I left you, and mounted the +towers of ambition and pride, a thousand miseries, a thousand troubles, +and four thousand anxieties have entered into my soul;" and all the while +he was speaking in this strain he was fixing the pack-saddle on the ass, +without a word from anyone. Then having Dapple saddled, he, with great +pain and difficulty, got up on him, and addressing himself to the +majordomo, the secretary, the head-carver, and Pedro Recio the doctor and +several others who stood by, he said, "Make way, gentlemen, and let me go +back to my old freedom; let me go look for my past life, and raise myself +up from this present death. I was not born to be a governor or protect +islands or cities from the enemies that choose to attack them. Ploughing +and digging, vinedressing and pruning, are more in my way than defending +provinces or kingdoms. 'Saint Peter is very well at Rome; I mean each of +us is best following the trade he was born to. A reaping-hook fits my +hand better than a governor's sceptre; I'd rather have my fill of +gazpacho' than be subject to the misery of a meddling doctor who me with +hunger, and I'd rather lie in summer under the shade of an oak, and in +winter wrap myself in a double sheepskin jacket in freedom, than go to +bed between holland sheets and dress in sables under the restraint of a +government. God be with your worships, and tell my lord the duke that +'naked I was born, naked I find myself, I neither lose nor gain;' I mean +that without a farthing I came into this government, and without a +farthing I go out of it, very different from the way governors commonly +leave other islands. Stand aside and let me go; I have to plaster myself, +for I believe every one of my ribs is crushed, thanks to the enemies that +have been trampling over me to-night." + +"That is unnecessary, senor governor," said Doctor Recio, "for I will +give your worship a draught against falls and bruises that will soon make +you as sound and strong as ever; and as for your diet I promise your +worship to behave better, and let you eat plentifully of whatever you +like." + +"You spoke late," said Sancho. "I'd as soon turn Turk as stay any longer. +Those jokes won't pass a second time. By God I'd as soon remain in this +government, or take another, even if it was offered me between two +plates, as fly to heaven without wings. I am of the breed of the Panzas, +and they are every one of them obstinate, and if they once say 'odds,' +odds it must be, no matter if it is evens, in spite of all the world. +Here in this stable I leave the ant's wings that lifted me up into the +air for the swifts and other birds to eat me, and let's take to level +ground and our feet once more; and if they're not shod in pinked shoes of +cordovan, they won't want for rough sandals of hemp; 'every ewe to her +like,' 'and let no one stretch his leg beyond the length of the sheet;' +and now let me pass, for it's growing late with me." + +To this the majordomo said, "Senor governor, we would let your worship go +with all our hearts, though it sorely grieves us to lose you, for your +wit and Christian conduct naturally make us regret you; but it is well +known that every governor, before he leaves the place where he has been +governing, is bound first of all to render an account. Let your worship +do so for the ten days you have held the government, and then you may go +and the peace of God go with you." + +"No one can demand it of me," said Sancho, "but he whom my lord the duke +shall appoint; I am going to meet him, and to him I will render an exact +one; besides, when I go forth naked as I do, there is no other proof +needed to show that I have governed like an angel." + +"By God the great Sancho is right," said Doctor Recio, "and we should let +him go, for the duke will be beyond measure glad to see him." + +They all agreed to this, and allowed him to go, first offering to bear +him company and furnish him with all he wanted for his own comfort or for +the journey. Sancho said he did not want anything more than a little +barley for Dapple, and half a cheese and half a loaf for himself; for the +distance being so short there was no occasion for any better or bulkier +provant. They all embraced him, and he with tears embraced all of them, +and left them filled with admiration not only at his remarks but at his +firm and sensible resolution. + +Chapter LIV. - +Which deals with matters relating to this history and no other + +The duke and duchess resolved that the challenge Don Quixote had, for the +reason already mentioned, given their vassal, should be proceeded with; +and as the young man was in Flanders, whither he had fled to escape +having Dona Rodriguez for a mother-in-law, they arranged to substitute +for him a Gascon lacquey, named Tosilos, first of all carefully +instructing him in all he had to do. Two days later the duke told Don +Quixote that in four days from that time his opponent would present +himself on the field of battle armed as a knight, and would maintain that +the damsel lied by half a beard, nay a whole beard, if she affirmed that +he had given her a promise of marriage. Don Quixote was greatly pleased +at the news, and promised himself to do wonders in the lists, and +reckoned it rare good fortune that an opportunity should have offered for +letting his noble hosts see what the might of his strong arm was capable +of; and so in high spirits and satisfaction he awaited the expiration of +the four days, which measured by his impatience seemed spinning +themselves out into four hundred ages. Let us leave them to pass as we do +other things, and go and bear Sancho company, as mounted on Dapple, half +glad, half sad, he paced along on his road to join his master, in whose +society he was happier than in being governor of all the islands in the +world. Well then, it so happened that before he had gone a great way from +the island of his government (and whether it was island, city, town, or +village that he governed he never troubled himself to inquire) he saw +coming along the road he was travelling six pilgrims with staves, +foreigners of that sort that beg for alms singing; who as they drew near +arranged themselves in a line and lifting up their voices all together +began to sing in their own language something that Sancho could not with +the exception of one word which sounded plainly "alms," from which he +gathered that it was alms they asked for in their song; and being, as +Cide Hamete says, remarkably charitable, he took out of his alforias the +half loaf and half cheese he had been provided with, and gave them to +them, explaining to them by signs that he had nothing else to give them. +They received them very gladly, but exclaimed, "Geld! Geld!" + +"I don't understand what you want of me, good people," said Sancho. + +On this one of them took a purse out of his bosom and showed it to +Sancho, by which he comprehended they were asking for money, and putting +his thumb to his throat and spreading his hand upwards he gave them to +understand that he had not the sign of a coin about him, and urging +Dapple forward he broke through them. But as he was passing, one of them +who had been examining him very closely rushed towards him, and flinging +his arms round him exclaimed in a loud voice and good Spanish, "God bless +me! What's this I see? Is it possible that I hold in my arms my dear +friend, my good neighbour Sancho Panza? But there's no doubt about it, +for I'm not asleep, nor am I drunk just now." + +Sancho was surprised to hear himself called by his name and find himself +embraced by a foreign pilgrim, and after regarding him steadily without +speaking he was still unable to recognise him; but the pilgrim perceiving +his perplexity cried, "What! and is it possible, Sancho Panza, that thou +dost not know thy neighbour Ricote, the Morisco shopkeeper of thy +village?" + +Sancho upon this looking at him more carefully began to recall his +features, and at last recognised him perfectly, and without getting off +the ass threw his arms round his neck saying, "Who the devil could have +known thee, Ricote, in this mummer's dress thou art in? Tell me, who bas +frenchified thee, and how dost thou dare to return to Spain, where if +they catch thee and recognise thee it will go hard enough with thee?" + +"If thou dost not betray me, Sancho," said the pilgrim, "I am safe; for +in this dress no one will recognise me; but let us turn aside out of the +road into that grove there where my comrades are going to eat and rest, +and thou shalt eat with them there, for they are very good fellows; I'll +have time enough to tell thee then all that has happened me since I left +our village in obedience to his Majesty's edict that threatened such +severities against the unfortunate people of my nation, as thou hast +heard." + +Sancho complied, and Ricote having spoken to the other pilgrims they +withdrew to the grove they saw, turning a considerable distance out of +the road. They threw down their staves, took off their pilgrim's cloaks +and remained in their under-clothing; they were all good-looking young +fellows, except Ricote, who was a man somewhat advanced in years. They +carried alforjas all of them, and all apparently well filled, at least +with things provocative of thirst, such as would summon it from two +leagues off. They stretched themselves on the ground, and making a +tablecloth of the grass they spread upon it bread, salt, knives, walnut, +scraps of cheese, and well-picked ham-bones which if they were past +gnawing were not past sucking. They also put down a black dainty called, +they say, caviar, and made of the eggs of fish, a great thirst-wakener. +Nor was there any lack of olives, dry, it is true, and without any +seasoning, but for all that toothsome and pleasant. But what made the +best show in the field of the banquet was half a dozen botas of wine, for +each of them produced his own from his alforjas; even the good Ricote, +who from a Morisco had transformed himself into a German or Dutchman, +took out his, which in size might have vied with the five others. They +then began to eat with very great relish and very leisurely, making the +most of each morsel--very small ones of everything--they took up on the +point of the knife; and then all at the same moment raised their arms and +botas aloft, the mouths placed in their mouths, and all eyes fixed on +heaven just as if they were taking aim at it; and in this attitude they +remained ever so long, wagging their heads from side to side as if in +acknowledgment of the pleasure they were enjoying while they decanted the +bowels of the bottles into their own stomachs. + +Sancho beheld all, "and nothing gave him pain;" so far from that, acting +on the proverb he knew so well, "when thou art at Rome do as thou seest," +he asked Ricote for his bota and took aim like the rest of them, and with +not less enjoyment. Four times did the botas bear being uplifted, but the +fifth it was all in vain, for they were drier and more sapless than a +rush by that time, which made the jollity that had been kept up so far +begin to flag. + +Every now and then some one of them would grasp Sancho's right hand in +his own saying, "Espanoli y Tudesqui tuto uno: bon compano;" and Sancho +would answer, "Bon compano, jur a Di!" and then go off into a fit of +laughter that lasted an hour, without a thought for the moment of +anything that had befallen him in his government; for cares have very +little sway over us while we are eating and drinking. At length, the wine +having come to an end with them, drowsiness began to come over them, and +they dropped asleep on their very table and tablecloth. Ricote and Sancho +alone remained awake, for they had eaten more and drunk less, and Ricote +drawing Sancho aside, they seated themselves at the foot of a beech, +leaving the pilgrims buried in sweet sleep; and without once falling into +his own Morisco tongue Ricote spoke as follows in pure Castilian: + +"Thou knowest well, neighbour and friend Sancho Panza, how the +proclamation or edict his Majesty commanded to be issued against those of +my nation filled us all with terror and dismay; me at least it did, +insomuch that I think before the time granted us for quitting Spain was +out, the full force of the penalty had already fallen upon me and upon my +children. I decided, then, and I think wisely (just like one who knows +that at a certain date the house he lives in will be taken from him, and +looks out beforehand for another to change into), I decided, I say, to +leave the town myself, alone and without my family, and go to seek out +some place to remove them to comfortably and not in the hurried way in +which the others took their departure; for I saw very plainly, and so did +all the older men among us, that the proclamations were not mere threats, +as some said, but positive enactments which would be enforced at the +appointed time; and what made me believe this was what I knew of the base +and extravagant designs which our people harboured, designs of such a +nature that I think it was a divine inspiration that moved his Majesty to +carry out a resolution so spirited; not that we were all guilty, for some +there were true and steadfast Christians; but they were so few that they +could make no head against those who were not; and it was not prudent to +cherish a viper in the bosom by having enemies in the house. In short it +was with just cause that we were visited with the penalty of banishment, +a mild and lenient one in the eyes of some, but to us the most terrible +that could be inflicted upon us. Wherever we are we weep for Spain; for +after all we were born there and it is our natural fatherland. Nowhere do +we find the reception our unhappy condition needs; and in Barbary and all +the parts of Africa where we counted upon being received, succoured, and +welcomed, it is there they insult and ill-treat us most. We knew not our +good fortune until we lost it; and such is the longing we almost all of +us have to return to Spain, that most of those who like myself know the +language, and there are many who do, come back to it and leave their +wives and children forsaken yonder, so great is their love for it; and +now I know by experience the meaning of the saying, sweet is the love of +one's country. + +"I left our village, as I said, and went to France, but though they gave +us a kind reception there I was anxious to see all I could. I crossed +into Italy, and reached Germany, and there it seemed to me we might live +with more freedom, as the inhabitants do not pay any attention to +trifling points; everyone lives as he likes, for in most parts they enjoy +liberty of conscience. I took a house in a town near Augsburg, and then +joined these pilgrims, who are in the habit of coming to Spain in great +numbers every year to visit the shrines there, which they look upon as +their Indies and a sure and certain source of gain. They travel nearly +all over it, and there is no town out of which they do not go full up of +meat and drink, as the saying is, and with a real, at least, in money, +and they come off at the end of their travels with more than a hundred +crowns saved, which, changed into gold, they smuggle out of the kingdom +either in the hollow of their staves or in the patches of their pilgrim's +cloaks or by some device of their own, and carry to their own country in +spite of the guards at the posts and passes where they are searched. Now +my purpose is, Sancho, to carry away the treasure that I left buried, +which, as it is outside the town, I shall be able to do without risk, and +to write, or cross over from Valencia, to my daughter and wife, who I +know are at Algiers, and find some means of bringing them to some French +port and thence to Germany, there to await what it may be God's will to +do with us; for, after all, Sancho, I know well that Ricota my daughter +and Francisca Ricota my wife are Catholic Christians, and though I am not +so much so, still I am more of a Christian than a Moor, and it is always +my prayer to God that he will open the eyes of my understanding and show +me how I am to serve him; but what amazes me and I cannot understand is +why my wife and daughter should have gone to Barbary rather than to +France, where they could live as Christians." + +To this Sancho replied, "Remember, Ricote, that may not have been open to +them, for Juan Tiopieyo thy wife's brother took them, and being a true +Moor he went where he could go most easily; and another thing I can tell +thee, it is my belief thou art going in vain to look for what thou hast +left buried, for we heard they took from thy brother-in-law and thy wife +a great quantity of pearls and money in gold which they brought to be +passed." + +"That may be," said Ricote; "but I know they did not touch my hoard, for +I did not tell them where it was, for fear of accidents; and so, if thou +wilt come with me, Sancho, and help me to take it away and conceal it, I +will give thee two hundred crowns wherewith thou mayest relieve thy +necessities, and, as thou knowest, I know they are many." + +"I would do it," said Sancho; "but I am not at all covetous, for I gave +up an office this morning in which, if I was, I might have made the walls +of my house of gold and dined off silver plates before six months were +over; and so for this reason, and because I feel I would be guilty of +treason to my king if I helped his enemies, I would not go with thee if +instead of promising me two hundred crowns thou wert to give me four +hundred here in hand." + +"And what office is this thou hast given up, Sancho?" asked Ricote. + +"I have given up being governor of an island," said Sancho, "and such a +one, faith, as you won't find the like of easily." + +"And where is this island?" said Ricote. + +"Where?" said Sancho; "two leagues from here, and it is called the island +of Barataria." + +"Nonsense! Sancho," said Ricote; "islands are away out in the sea; there +are no islands on the mainland." + +"What? No islands!" said Sancho; "I tell thee, friend Ricote, I left it +this morning, and yesterday I was governing there as I pleased like a +sagittarius; but for all that I gave it up, for it seemed to me a +dangerous office, a governor's." + +"And what hast thou gained by the government?" asked Ricote. + +"I have gained," said Sancho, "the knowledge that I am no good for +governing, unless it is a drove of cattle, and that the riches that are +to be got by these governments are got at the cost of one's rest and +sleep, ay and even one's food; for in islands the governors must eat +little, especially if they have doctors to look after their health." + +"I don't understand thee, Sancho," said Ricote; "but it seems to me all +nonsense thou art talking. Who would give thee islands to govern? Is +there any scarcity in the world of cleverer men than thou art for +governors? Hold thy peace, Sancho, and come back to thy senses, and +consider whether thou wilt come with me as I said to help me to take away +treasure I left buried (for indeed it may be called a treasure, it is so +large), and I will give thee wherewithal to keep thee, as I told thee." + +"And I have told thee already, Ricote, that I will not," said Sancho; +"let it content thee that by me thou shalt not be betrayed, and go thy +way in God's name and let me go mine; for I know that well-gotten gain +may be lost, but ill-gotten gain is lost, itself and its owner likewise." + +"I will not press thee, Sancho," said Ricote; "but tell me, wert thou in +our village when my wife and daughter and brother-in-law left it?" + +"I was so," said Sancho; "and I can tell thee thy daughter left it +looking so lovely that all the village turned out to see her, and +everybody said she was the fairest creature in the world. She wept as she +went, and embraced all her friends and acquaintances and those who came +out to see her, and she begged them all to commend her to God and Our +Lady his mother, and this in such a touching way that it made me weep +myself, though I'm not much given to tears commonly; and, faith, many a +one would have liked to hide her, or go out and carry her off on the +road; but the fear of going against the king's command kept them back. +The one who showed himself most moved was Don Pedro Gregorio, the rich +young heir thou knowest of, and they say he was deep in love with her; +and since she left he has not been seen in our village again, and we all +suspect he has gone after her to steal her away, but so far nothing has +been heard of it." + +"I always had a suspicion that gentleman had a passion for my daughter," +said Ricote; "but as I felt sure of my Ricota's virtue it gave me no +uneasiness to know that he loved her; for thou must have heard it said, +Sancho, that the Morisco women seldom or never engage in amours with the +old Christians; and my daughter, who I fancy thought more of being a +Christian than of lovemaking, would not trouble herself about the +attentions of this heir." + +"God grant it," said Sancho, "for it would be a bad business for both of +them; but now let me be off, friend Ricote, for I want to reach where my +master Don Quixote is to-night." + +"God be with thee, brother Sancho," said Ricote; "my comrades are +beginning to stir, and it is time, too, for us to continue our journey;" +and then they both embraced, and Sancho mounted Dapple, and Ricote leant +upon his staff, and so they parted. + +Chapter LV. - +Of what befell Sancho on the road, and other things that cannot be +surpassed + +The length of time he delayed with Ricote prevented Sancho from reaching +the duke's castle that day, though he was within half a league of it when +night, somewhat dark and cloudy, overtook him. This, however, as it was +summer time, did not give him much uneasiness, and he turned aside out of +the road intending to wait for morning; but his ill luck and hard fate so +willed it that as he was searching about for a place to make himself as +comfortable as possible, he and Dapple fell into a deep dark hole that +lay among some very old buildings. As he fell he commended himself with +all his heart to God, fancying he was not going to stop until he reached +the depths of the bottomless pit; but it did not turn out so, for at +little more than thrice a man's height Dapple touched bottom, and he +found himself sitting on him without having received any hurt or damage +whatever. He felt himself all over and held his breath to try whether he +was quite sound or had a hole made in him anywhere, and finding himself +all right and whole and in perfect health he was profuse in his thanks to +God our Lord for the mercy that had been shown him, for he made sure he +had been broken into a thousand pieces. He also felt along the sides of +the pit with his hands to see if it were possible to get out of it +without help, but he found they were quite smooth and afforded no hold +anywhere, at which he was greatly distressed, especially when he heard +how pathetically and dolefully Dapple was bemoaning himself, and no +wonder he complained, nor was it from ill-temper, for in truth he was not +in a very good case. "Alas," said Sancho, "what unexpected accidents +happen at every step to those who live in this miserable world! Who would +have said that one who saw himself yesterday sitting on a throne, +governor of an island, giving orders to his servants and his vassals, +would see himself to-day buried in a pit without a soul to help him, or +servant or vassal to come to his relief? Here must we perish with hunger, +my ass and myself, if indeed we don't die first, he of his bruises and +injuries, and I of grief and sorrow. At any rate I'll not be as lucky as +my master Don Quixote of La Mancha, when he went down into the cave of +that enchanted Montesinos, where he found people to make more of him than +if he had been in his own house; for it seems he came in for a table laid +out and a bed ready made. There he saw fair and pleasant visions, but +here I'll see, I imagine, toads and adders. Unlucky wretch that I am, +what an end my follies and fancies have come to! They'll take up my bones +out of this, when it is heaven's will that I'm found, picked clean, white +and polished, and my good Dapple's with them, and by that, perhaps, it +will be found out who we are, at least by such as have heard that Sancho +Panza never separated from his ass, nor his ass from Sancho Panza. +Unlucky wretches, I say again, that our hard fate should not let us die +in our own country and among our own people, where if there was no help +for our misfortune, at any rate there would be some one to grieve for it +and to close our eyes as we passed away! O comrade and friend, how ill +have I repaid thy faithful services! Forgive me, and entreat Fortune, as +well as thou canst, to deliver us out of this miserable strait we are +both in; and I promise to put a crown of laurel on thy head, and make +thee look like a poet laureate, and give thee double feeds." + +In this strain did Sancho bewail himself, and his ass listened to him, +but answered him never a word, such was the distress and anguish the poor +beast found himself in. At length, after a night spent in bitter moanings +and lamentations, day came, and by its light Sancho perceived that it was +wholly impossible to escape out of that pit without help, and he fell to +bemoaning his fate and uttering loud shouts to find out if there was +anyone within hearing; but all his shouting was only crying in the +wilderness, for there was not a soul anywhere in the neighbourhood to +hear him, and then at last he gave himself up for dead. Dapple was lying +on his back, and Sancho helped him to his feet, which he was scarcely +able to keep; and then taking a piece of bread out of his alforjas which +had shared their fortunes in the fall, he gave it to the ass, to whom it +was not unwelcome, saying to him as if he understood him, "With bread all +sorrows are less." + +And now he perceived on one side of the pit a hole large enough to admit +a person if he stooped and squeezed himself into a small compass. Sancho +made for it, and entered it by creeping, and found it wide and spacious +on the inside, which he was able to see as a ray of sunlight that +penetrated what might be called the roof showed it all plainly. He +observed too that it opened and widened out into another spacious cavity; +seeing which he made his way back to where the ass was, and with a stone +began to pick away the clay from the hole until in a short time he had +made room for the beast to pass easily, and this accomplished, taking him +by the halter, he proceeded to traverse the cavern to see if there was +any outlet at the other end. He advanced, sometimes in the dark, +sometimes without light, but never without fear; "God Almighty help me!" +said he to himself; "this that is a misadventure to me would make a good +adventure for my master Don Quixote. He would have been sure to take +these depths and dungeons for flowery gardens or the palaces of Galiana, +and would have counted upon issuing out of this darkness and imprisonment +into some blooming meadow; but I, unlucky that I am, hopeless and +spiritless, expect at every step another pit deeper than the first to +open under my feet and swallow me up for good; 'welcome evil, if thou +comest alone.'" + +In this way and with these reflections he seemed to himself to have +travelled rather more than half a league, when at last he perceived a dim +light that looked like daylight and found its way in on one side, showing +that this road, which appeared to him the road to the other world, led to +some opening. + +Here Cide Hamete leaves him, and returns to Don Quixote, who in high +spirits and satisfaction was looking forward to the day fixed for the +battle he was to fight with him who had robbed Dona Rodriguez's daughter +of her honour, for whom he hoped to obtain satisfaction for the wrong and +injury shamefully done to her. It came to pass, then, that having sallied +forth one morning to practise and exercise himself in what he would have +to do in the encounter he expected to find himself engaged in the next +day, as he was putting Rocinante through his paces or pressing him to the +charge, he brought his feet so close to a pit that but for reining him in +tightly it would have been impossible for him to avoid falling into it. +He pulled him up, however, without a fall, and coming a little closer +examined the hole without dismounting; but as he was looking at it he +heard loud cries proceeding from it, and by listening attentively was +able to make out that he who uttered them was saying, "Ho, above there! +is there any Christian that hears me, or any charitable gentleman that +will take pity on a sinner buried alive, on an unfortunate disgoverned +governor?" + +It struck Don Quixote that it was the voice of Sancho Panza he heard, +whereat he was taken aback and amazed, and raising his own voice as much +as he could, he cried out, "Who is below there? Who is that complaining?" + +"Who should be here, or who should complain," was the answer, "but the +forlorn Sancho Panza, for his sins and for his ill-luck governor of the +island of Barataria, squire that was to the famous knight Don Quixote of +La Mancha?" + +When Don Quixote heard this his amazement was redoubled and his +perturbation grew greater than ever, for it suggested itself to his mind +that Sancho must be dead, and that his soul was in torment down there; +and carried away by this idea he exclaimed, "I conjure thee by everything +that as a Catholic Christian I can conjure thee by, tell me who thou art; +and if thou art a soul in torment, tell me what thou wouldst have me do +for thee; for as my profession is to give aid and succour to those that +need it in this world, it will also extend to aiding and succouring the +distressed of the other, who cannot help themselves." + +"In that case," answered the voice, "your worship who speaks to me must +be my master Don Quixote of La Mancha; nay, from the tone of the voice it +is plain it can be nobody else." + +"Don Quixote I am," replied Don Quixote, "he whose profession it is to +aid and succour the living and the dead in their necessities; wherefore +tell me who thou art, for thou art keeping me in suspense; because, if +thou art my squire Sancho Panza, and art dead, since the devils have not +carried thee off, and thou art by God's mercy in purgatory, our holy +mother the Roman Catholic Church has intercessory means sufficient to +release thee from the pains thou art in; and I for my part will plead +with her to that end, so far as my substance will go; without further +delay, therefore, declare thyself, and tell me who thou art." + +"By all that's good," was the answer, "and by the birth of whomsoever +your worship chooses, I swear, Senor Don Quixote of La Mancha, that I am +your squire Sancho Panza, and that I have never died all my life; but +that, having given up my government for reasons that would require more +time to explain, I fell last night into this pit where I am now, and +Dapple is witness and won't let me lie, for more by token he is here with +me." + +Nor was this all; one would have fancied the ass understood what Sancho +said, because that moment he began to bray so loudly that the whole cave +rang again. + +"Famous testimony!" exclaimed Don Quixote; "I know that bray as well as +if I was its mother, and thy voice too, my Sancho. Wait while I go to the +duke's castle, which is close by, and I will bring some one to take thee +out of this pit into which thy sins no doubt have brought thee." + +"Go, your worship," said Sancho, "and come back quick for God's sake; for +I cannot bear being buried alive any longer, and I'm dying of fear." + +Don Quixote left him, and hastened to the castle to tell the duke and +duchess what had happened Sancho, and they were not a little astonished +at it; they could easily understand his having fallen, from the +confirmatory circumstance of the cave which had been in existence there +from time immemorial; but they could not imagine how he had quitted the +government without their receiving any intimation of his coming. To be +brief, they fetched ropes and tackle, as the saying is, and by dint of +many hands and much labour they drew up Dapple and Sancho Panza out of +the darkness into the light of day. A student who saw him remarked, +"That's the way all bad governors should come out of their governments, +as this sinner comes out of the depths of the pit, dead with hunger, +pale, and I suppose without a farthing." + +Sancho overheard him and said, "It is eight or ten days, brother growler, +since I entered upon the government of the island they gave me, and all +that time I never had a bellyful of victuals, no not for an hour; doctors +persecuted me and enemies crushed my bones; nor had I any opportunity of +taking bribes or levying taxes; and if that be the case, as it is, I +don't deserve, I think, to come out in this fashion; but 'man proposes +and God disposes;' and God knows what is best, and what suits each one +best; and 'as the occasion, so the behaviour;' and 'let nobody say "I +won't drink of this water;"' and 'where one thinks there are flitches, +there are no pegs;' God knows my meaning and that's enough; I say no +more, though I could." + +"Be not angry or annoyed at what thou hearest, Sancho," said Don Quixote, +"or there will never be an end of it; keep a safe conscience and let them +say what they like; for trying to stop slanderers' tongues is like trying +to put gates to the open plain. If a governor comes out of his government +rich, they say he has been a thief; and if he comes out poor, that he has +been a noodle and a blockhead." + +"They'll be pretty sure this time," said Sancho, "to set me down for a +fool rather than a thief." + +Thus talking, and surrounded by boys and a crowd of people, they reached +the castle, where in one of the corridors the duke and duchess stood +waiting for them; but Sancho would not go up to see the duke until he had +first put up Dapple in the stable, for he said he had passed a very bad +night in his last quarters; then he went upstairs to see his lord and +lady, and kneeling before them he said, "Because it was your highnesses' +pleasure, not because of any desert of my own, I went to govern your +island of Barataria, which 'I entered naked, and naked I find myself; I +neither lose nor gain.' Whether I have governed well or ill, I have had +witnesses who will say what they think fit. I have answered questions, I +have decided causes, and always dying of hunger, for Doctor Pedro Recio +of Tirteafuera, the island and governor doctor, would have it so. Enemies +attacked us by night and put us in a great quandary, but the people of +the island say they came off safe and victorious by the might of my arm; +and may God give them as much health as there's truth in what they say. +In short, during that time I have weighed the cares and responsibilities +governing brings with it, and by my reckoning I find my shoulders can't +bear them, nor are they a load for my loins or arrows for my quiver; and +so, before the government threw me over I preferred to throw the +government over; and yesterday morning I left the island as I found it, +with the same streets, houses, and roofs it had when I entered it. I +asked no loan of anybody, nor did I try to fill my pocket; and though I +meant to make some useful laws, I made hardly any, as I was afraid they +would not be kept; for in that case it comes to the same thing to make +them or not to make them. I quitted the island, as I said, without any +escort except my ass; I fell into a pit, I pushed on through it, until +this morning by the light of the sun I saw an outlet, but not so easy a +one but that, had not heaven sent me my master Don Quixote, I'd have +stayed there till the end of the world. So now my lord and lady duke and +duchess, here is your governor Sancho Panza, who in the bare ten days he +has held the government has come by the knowledge that he would not give +anything to be governor, not to say of an island, but of the whole world; +and that point being settled, kissing your worships' feet, and imitating +the game of the boys when they say, 'leap thou, and give me one,' I take +a leap out of the government and pass into the service of my master Don +Quixote; for after all, though in it I eat my bread in fear and +trembling, at any rate I take my fill; and for my part, so long as I'm +full, it's all alike to me whether it's with carrots or with partridges." + +Here Sancho brought his long speech to an end, Don Quixote having been +the whole time in dread of his uttering a host of absurdities; and when +he found him leave off with so few, he thanked heaven in his heart. The +duke embraced Sancho and told him he was heartily sorry he had given up +the government so soon, but that he would see that he was provided with +some other post on his estate less onerous and more profitable. The +duchess also embraced him, and gave orders that he should be taken good +care of, as it was plain to see he had been badly treated and worse +bruised. + +Chapter LVI. - +Of the prodigious and unparalleled battle that took place between Don +Quixote of la mancha and the Lacquey Tosilos in defence of the daughter +of Dona Rodriguez + +The duke and duchess had no reason to regret the joke that had been +played upon Sancho Panza in giving him the government; especially as +their majordomo returned the same day, and gave them a minute account of +almost every word and deed that Sancho uttered or did during the time; +and to wind up with, eloquently described to them the attack upon the +island and Sancho's fright and departure, with which they were not a +little amused. After this the history goes on to say that the day fixed +for the battle arrived, and that the duke, after having repeatedly +instructed his lacquey Tosilos how to deal with Don Quixote so as to +vanquish him without killing or wounding him, gave orders to have the +heads removed from the lances, telling Don Quixote that Christian +charity, on which he plumed himself, could not suffer the battle to be +fought with so much risk and danger to life; and that he must be content +with the offer of a battlefield on his territory (though that was against +the decree of the holy Council, which prohibits all challenges of the +sort) and not push such an arduous venture to its extreme limits. Don +Quixote bade his excellence arrange all matters connected with the affair +as he pleased, as on his part he would obey him in everything. The dread +day, then, having arrived, and the duke having ordered a spacious stand +to be erected facing the court of the castle for the judges of the field +and the appellant duennas, mother and daughter, vast crowds flocked from +all the villages and hamlets of the neighbourhood to see the novel +spectacle of the battle; nobody, dead or alive, in those parts having +ever seen or heard of such a one. + +The first person to enter the-field and the lists was the master of the +ceremonies, who surveyed and paced the whole ground to see that there was +nothing unfair and nothing concealed to make the combatants stumble or +fall; then the duennas entered and seated themselves, enveloped in +mantles covering their eyes, nay even their bosoms, and displaying no +slight emotion as Don Quixote appeared in the lists. Shortly afterwards, +accompanied by several trumpets and mounted on a powerful steed that +threatened to crush the whole place, the great lacquey Tosilos made his +appearance on one side of the courtyard with his visor down and stiffly +cased in a suit of stout shining armour. The horse was a manifest +Frieslander, broad-backed and flea-bitten, and with half a hundred of +wool hanging to each of his fetlocks. The gallant combatant came well +primed by his master the duke as to how he was to bear himself against +the valiant Don Quixote of La Mancha; being warned that he must on no +account slay him, but strive to shirk the first encounter so as to avoid +the risk of killing him, as he was sure to do if he met him full tilt. He +crossed the courtyard at a walk, and coming to where the duennas were +placed stopped to look at her who demanded him for a husband; the marshal +of the field summoned Don Quixote, who had already presented himself in +the courtyard, and standing by the side of Tosilos he addressed the +duennas, and asked them if they consented that Don Quixote of La Mancha +should do battle for their right. They said they did, and that whatever +he should do in that behalf they declared rightly done, final and valid. +By this time the duke and duchess had taken their places in a gallery +commanding the enclosure, which was filled to overflowing with a +multitude of people eager to see this perilous and unparalleled +encounter. The conditions of the combat were that if Don Quixote proved +the victor his antagonist was to marry the daughter of Dona Rodriguez; +but if he should be vanquished his opponent was released from the promise +that was claimed against him and from all obligations to give +satisfaction. The master of the ceremonies apportioned the sun to them, +and stationed them, each on the spot where he was to stand. The drums +beat, the sound of the trumpets filled the air, the earth trembled under +foot, the hearts of the gazing crowd were full of anxiety, some hoping +for a happy issue, some apprehensive of an untoward ending to the affair, +and lastly, Don Quixote, commending himself with all his heart to God our +Lord and to the lady Dulcinea del Toboso, stood waiting for them to give +the necessary signal for the onset. Our lacquey, however, was thinking of +something very different; he only thought of what I am now going to +mention. + +It seems that as he stood contemplating his enemy she struck him as the +most beautiful woman he had ever seen all his life; and the little blind +boy whom in our streets they commonly call Love had no mind to let slip +the chance of triumphing over a lacquey heart, and adding it to the list +of his trophies; and so, stealing gently upon him unseen, he drove a dart +two yards long into the poor lacquey's left side and pierced his heart +through and through; which he was able to do quite at his ease, for Love +is invisible, and comes in and goes out as he likes, without anyone +calling him to account for what he does. Well then, when they gave the +signal for the onset our lacquey was in an ecstasy, musing upon the +beauty of her whom he had already made mistress of his liberty, and so he +paid no attention to the sound of the trumpet, unlike Don Quixote, who +was off the instant he heard it, and, at the highest speed Rocinante was +capable of, set out to meet his enemy, his good squire Sancho shouting +lustily as he saw him start, "God guide thee, cream and flower of +knights-errant! God give thee the victory, for thou hast the right on thy +side!" But though Tosilos saw Don Quixote coming at him he never stirred +a step from the spot where he was posted; and instead of doing so called +loudly to the marshal of the field, to whom when he came up to see what +he wanted he said, "Senor, is not this battle to decide whether I marry +or do not marry that lady?" "Just so," was the answer. "Well then," said +the lacquey, "I feel qualms of conscience, and I should lay a-heavy +burden upon it if I were to proceed any further with the combat; I +therefore declare that I yield myself vanquished, and that I am willing +to marry the lady at once." + +The marshal of the field was lost in astonishment at the words of +Tosilos; and as he was one of those who were privy to the arrangement of +the affair he knew not what to say in reply. Don Quixote pulled up in mid +career when he saw that his enemy was not coming on to the attack. The +duke could not make out the reason why the battle did not go on; but the +marshal of the field hastened to him to let him know what Tosilos said, +and he was amazed and extremely angry at it. In the meantime Tosilos +advanced to where Dona Rodriguez sat and said in a loud voice, "Senora, I +am willing to marry your daughter, and I have no wish to obtain by strife +and fighting what I can obtain in peace and without any risk to my life." + +The valiant Don Quixote heard him, and said, "As that is the case I am +released and absolved from my promise; let them marry by all means, and +as 'God our Lord has given her, may Saint Peter add his blessing.'" + +The duke had now descended to the courtyard of the castle, and going up +to Tosilos he said to him, "Is it true, sir knight, that you yield +yourself vanquished, and that moved by scruples of conscience you wish to +marry this damsel?" + +"It is, senor," replied Tosilos. + +"And he does well," said Sancho, "for what thou hast to give to the +mouse, give to the cat, and it will save thee all trouble." + +Tosilos meanwhile was trying to unlace his helmet, and he begged them to +come to his help at once, as his power of breathing was failing him, and +he could not remain so long shut up in that confined space. They removed +it in all haste, and his lacquey features were revealed to public gaze. +At this sight Dona Rodriguez and her daughter raised a mighty outcry, +exclaiming, "This is a trick! This is a trick! They have put Tosilos, my +lord the duke's lacquey, upon us in place of the real husband. The +justice of God and the king against such trickery, not to say roguery!" + +"Do not distress yourselves, ladies," said Don Quixote; "for this is no +trickery or roguery; or if it is, it is not the duke who is at the bottom +of it, but those wicked enchanters who persecute me, and who, jealous of +my reaping the glory of this victory, have turned your husband's features +into those of this person, who you say is a lacquey of the duke's; take +my advice, and notwithstanding the malice of my enemies marry him, for +beyond a doubt he is the one you wish for a husband." + +When the duke heard this all his anger was near vanishing in a fit of +laughter, and he said, "The things that happen to Senor Don Quixote are +so extraordinary that I am ready to believe this lacquey of mine is not +one; but let us adopt this plan and device; let us put off the marriage +for, say, a fortnight, and let us keep this person about whom we are +uncertain in close confinement, and perhaps in the course of that time he +may return to his original shape; for the spite which the enchanters +entertain against Senor Don Quixote cannot last so long, especially as it +is of so little advantage to them to practise these deceptions and +transformations." + +"Oh, senor," said Sancho, "those scoundrels are well used to changing +whatever concerns my master from one thing into another. A knight that he +overcame some time back, called the Knight of the Mirrors, they turned +into the shape of the bachelor Samson Carrasco of our town and a great +friend of ours; and my lady Dulcinea del Toboso they have turned into a +common country wench; so I suspect this lacquey will have to live and die +a lacquey all the days of his life." + +Here the Rodriguez's daughter exclaimed, "Let him be who he may, this man +that claims me for a wife; I am thankful to him for the same, for I had +rather be the lawful wife of a lacquey than the cheated mistress of a +gentleman; though he who played me false is nothing of the kind." + +To be brief, all the talk and all that had happened ended in Tosilos +being shut up until it was seen how his transformation turned out. All +hailed Don Quixote as victor, but the greater number were vexed and +disappointed at finding that the combatants they had been so anxiously +waiting for had not battered one another to pieces, just as the boys are +disappointed when the man they are waiting to see hanged does not come +out, because the prosecution or the court has pardoned him. The people +dispersed, the duke and Don Quixote returned to the castle, they locked +up Tosilos, Dona Rodriguez and her daughter remained perfectly contented +when they saw that any way the affair must end in marriage, and Tosilos +wanted nothing else. + +Chapter LVII. - +Which treats of how Don Quixote took leave of the Duke, and of what +followed with the witty and impudent Altisidora, one of the Duchess's +damsels + +Don Quixote now felt it right to quit a life of such idleness as he was +leading in the castle; for he fancied that he was making himself sorely +missed by suffering himself to remain shut up and inactive amid the +countless luxuries and enjoyments his hosts lavished upon him as a +knight, and he felt too that he would have to render a strict account to +heaven of that indolence and seclusion; and so one day he asked the duke +and duchess to grant him permission to take his departure. They gave it, +showing at the same time that they were very sorry he was leaving them. + +The duchess gave his wife's letters to Sancho Panza, who shed tears over +them, saying, "Who would have thought that such grand hopes as the news +of my government bred in my wife Teresa Panza's breast would end in my +going back now to the vagabond adventures of my master Don Quixote of La +Mancha? Still I'm glad to see my Teresa behaved as she ought in sending +the acorns, for if she had not sent them I'd have been sorry, and she'd +have shown herself ungrateful. It is a comfort to me that they can't call +that present a bribe; for I had got the government already when she sent +them, and it's but reasonable that those who have had a good turn done +them should show their gratitude, if it's only with a trifle. After all I +went into the government naked, and I come out of it naked; so I can say +with a safe conscience--and that's no small matter--'naked I was born, +naked I find myself, I neither lose nor gain.'" + +Thus did Sancho soliloquise on the day of their departure, as Don +Quixote, who had the night before taken leave of the duke and duchess, +coming out made his appearance at an early hour in full armour in the +courtyard of the castle. The whole household of the castle were watching +him from the corridors, and the duke and duchess, too, came out to see +him. Sancho was mounted on his Dapple, with his alforjas, valise, and +proven, supremely happy because the duke's majordomo, the same that had +acted the part of the Trifaldi, had given him a little purse with two +hundred gold crowns to meet the necessary expenses of the road, but of +this Don Quixote knew nothing as yet. While all were, as has been said, +observing him, suddenly from among the duennas and handmaidens the +impudent and witty Altisidora lifted up her voice and said in pathetic +tones: + +poem{ + +Give ear, cruel knight; + Draw rein; where's the need +Of spurring the flanks + Of that ill-broken steed? +From what art thou flying? + No dragon I am, +Not even a sheep, + But a tender young lamb. +Thou hast jilted a maiden + As fair to behold +As nymph of Diana + Or Venus of old. + +Bireno, AEneas, what worse shall I call thee? + +Barabbas go with thee! All evil befall thee! + +In thy claws, ruthless robber, + Thou bearest away +The heart of a meek + Loving maid for thy prey, +Three kerchiefs thou stealest, + And garters a pair, +From legs than the whitest + Of marble more fair; +And the sighs that pursue thee + Would burn to the ground +Two thousand Troy Towns, + If so many were found. + +Bireno, AEneas, what worse shall I call thee? + +Barabbas go with thee! All evil befall thee! + +May no bowels of mercy + To Sancho be granted, +And thy Dulcinea + Be left still enchanted, +May thy falsehood to me + Find its punishment in her, +For in my land the just + Often pays for the sinner. +May thy grandest adventures + Discomfitures prove, +May thy joys be all dreams, + And forgotten thy love. + +Bireno, AEneas, what worse shall I call thee? + +Barabbas go with thee! All evil befall thee! + +May thy name be abhorred + For thy conduct to ladies, +From London to England, + From Seville to Cadiz; +May thy cards be unlucky, + Thy hands contain ne'er a +King, seven, or ace + When thou playest primera; +When thy corns are cut + May it be to the quick; +When thy grinders are drawn + May the roots of them stick. + +Bireno, AEneas, what worse shall I call thee? + +Barabbas go with thee! All evil befall thee! + +}poem + +All the while the unhappy Altisidora was bewailing herself in the above +strain Don Quixote stood staring at her; and without uttering a word in +reply to her he turned round to Sancho and said, "Sancho my friend, I +conjure thee by the life of thy forefathers tell me the truth; say, hast +thou by any chance taken the three kerchiefs and the garters this +love-sick maid speaks of?" + +To this Sancho made answer, "The three kerchiefs I have; but the garters, +as much as 'over the hills of Ubeda.'" + +The duchess was amazed at Altisidora's assurance; she knew that she was +bold, lively, and impudent, but not so much so as to venture to make free +in this fashion; and not being prepared for the joke, her astonishment +was all the greater. The duke had a mind to keep up the sport, so he +said, "It does not seem to me well done in you, sir knight, that after +having received the hospitality that has been offered you in this very +castle, you should have ventured to carry off even three kerchiefs, not +to say my handmaid's garters. It shows a bad heart and does not tally +with your reputation. Restore her garters, or else I defy you to mortal +combat, for I am not afraid of rascally enchanters changing or altering +my features as they changed his who encountered you into those of my +lacquey, Tosilos." + +"God forbid," said Don Quixote, "that I should draw my sword against your +illustrious person from which I have received such great favours. The +kerchiefs I will restore, as Sancho says he has them; as to the garters +that is impossible, for I have not got them, neither has he; and if your +handmaiden here will look in her hiding-places, depend upon it she will +find them. I have never been a thief, my lord duke, nor do I mean to be +so long as I live, if God cease not to have me in his keeping. This +damsel by her own confession speaks as one in love, for which I am not to +blame, and therefore need not ask pardon, either of her or of your +excellence, whom I entreat to have a better opinion of me, and once more +to give me leave to pursue my journey." + +"And may God so prosper it, Senor Don Quixote," said the duchess, "that +we may always hear good news of your exploits; God speed you; for the +longer you stay, the more you inflame the hearts of the damsels who +behold you; and as for this one of mine, I will so chastise her that she +will not transgress again, either with her eyes or with her words." + +"One word and no more, O valiant Don Quixote, I ask you to hear," said +Altisidora, "and that is that I beg your pardon about the theft of the +garters; for by God and upon my soul I have got them on, and I have +fallen into the same blunder as he did who went looking for his ass being +all the while mounted on it." + +"Didn't I say so?" said Sancho. "I'm a likely one to hide thefts! Why if +I wanted to deal in them, opportunities came ready enough to me in my +government." + +Don Quixote bowed his head, and saluted the duke and duchess and all the +bystanders, and wheeling Rocinante round, Sancho following him on Dapple, +he rode out of the castle, shaping his course for Saragossa. + +Chapter LVIII. - +Which tells how adventures came crowding on Don Quixote in such numbers +that they gave one another no breathing-time + +When Don Quixote saw himself in open country, free, and relieved from the +attentions of Altisidora, he felt at his ease, and in fresh spirits to +take up the pursuit of chivalry once more; and turning to Sancho he said, +"Freedom, Sancho, is one of the most precious gifts that heaven has +bestowed upon men; no treasures that the earth holds buried or the sea +conceals can compare with it; for freedom, as for honour, life may and +should be ventured; and on the other hand, captivity is the greatest evil +that can fall to the lot of man. I say this, Sancho, because thou hast +seen the good cheer, the abundance we have enjoyed in this castle we are +leaving; well then, amid those dainty banquets and snow-cooled beverages +I felt as though I were undergoing the straits of hunger, because I did +not enjoy them with the same freedom as if they had been mine own; for +the sense of being under an obligation to return benefits and favours +received is a restraint that checks the independence of the spirit. Happy +he, to whom heaven has given a piece of bread for which he is not bound +to give thanks to any but heaven itself!" + +"For all your worship says," said Sancho, "it is not becoming that there +should be no thanks on our part for two hundred gold crowns that the +duke's majordomo has given me in a little purse which I carry next my +heart, like a warming plaster or comforter, to meet any chance calls; for +we shan't always find castles where they'll entertain us; now and then we +may light upon roadside inns where they'll cudgel us." + +In conversation of this sort the knight and squire errant were pursuing +their journey, when, after they had gone a little more than half a +league, they perceived some dozen men dressed like labourers stretched +upon their cloaks on the grass of a green meadow eating their dinner. +They had beside them what seemed to be white sheets concealing some +objects under them, standing upright or lying flat, and arranged at +intervals. Don Quixote approached the diners, and, saluting them +courteously first, he asked them what it was those cloths covered. +"Senor," answered one of the party, "under these cloths are some images +carved in relief intended for a retablo we are putting up in our village; +we carry them covered up that they may not be soiled, and on our +shoulders that they may not be broken." + +"With your good leave," said Don Quixote, "I should like to see them; for +images that are carried so carefully no doubt must be fine ones." + +"I should think they were!" said the other; "let the money they cost +speak for that; for as a matter of fact there is not one of them that +does not stand us in more than fifty ducats; and that your worship may +judge; wait a moment, and you shall see with your own eyes;" and getting +up from his dinner he went and uncovered the first image, which proved to +be one of Saint George on horseback with a serpent writhing at his feet +and the lance thrust down its throat with all that fierceness that is +usually depicted. The whole group was one blaze of gold, as the saying +is. On seeing it Don Quixote said, "That knight was one of the best +knights-errant the army of heaven ever owned; he was called Don Saint +George, and he was moreover a defender of maidens. Let us see this next +one." + +The man uncovered it, and it was seen to be that of Saint Martin on his +horse, dividing his cloak with the beggar. The instant Don Quixote saw it +he said, "This knight too was one of the Christian adventurers, but I +believe he was generous rather than valiant, as thou mayest perceive, +Sancho, by his dividing his cloak with the beggar and giving him half of +it; no doubt it was winter at the time, for otherwise he would have given +him the whole of it, so charitable was he." + +"It was not that, most likely," said Sancho, "but that he held with the +proverb that says, 'For giving and keeping there's need of brains.'" + +Don Quixote laughed, and asked them to take off the next cloth, +underneath which was seen the image of the patron saint of the Spains +seated on horseback, his sword stained with blood, trampling on Moors and +treading heads underfoot; and on seeing it Don Quixote exclaimed, "Ay, +this is a knight, and of the squadrons of Christ! This one is called Don +Saint James the Moorslayer, one of the bravest saints and knights the +world ever had or heaven has now." + +They then raised another cloth which it appeared covered Saint Paul +falling from his horse, with all the details that are usually given in +representations of his conversion. When Don Quixote saw it, rendered in +such lifelike style that one would have said Christ was speaking and Paul +answering, "This," he said, "was in his time the greatest enemy that the +Church of God our Lord had, and the greatest champion it will ever have; +a knight-errant in life, a steadfast saint in death, an untiring labourer +in the Lord's vineyard, a teacher of the Gentiles, whose school was +heaven, and whose instructor and master was Jesus Christ himself." + +There were no more images, so Don Quixote bade them cover them up again, +and said to those who had brought them, "I take it as a happy omen, +brothers, to have seen what I have; for these saints and knights were of +the same profession as myself, which is the calling of arms; only there +is this difference between them and me, that they were saints, and fought +with divine weapons, and I am a sinner and fight with human ones. They +won heaven by force of arms, for heaven suffereth violence; and I, so +far, know not what I have won by dint of my sufferings; but if my +Dulcinea del Toboso were to be released from hers, perhaps with mended +fortunes and a mind restored to itself I might direct my steps in a +better path than I am following at present." + +"May God hear and sin be deaf," said Sancho to this. + +The men were filled with wonder, as well at the figure as at the words of +Don Quixote, though they did not understand one half of what he meant by +them. They finished their dinner, took their images on their backs, and +bidding farewell to Don Quixote resumed their journey. + +Sancho was amazed afresh at the extent of his master's knowledge, as much +as if he had never known him, for it seemed to him that there was no +story or event in the world that he had not at his fingers' ends and +fixed in his memory, and he said to him, "In truth, master mine, if this +that has happened to us to-day is to be called an adventure, it has been +one of the sweetest and pleasantest that have befallen us in the whole +course of our travels; we have come out of it unbelaboured and +undismayed, neither have we drawn sword nor have we smitten the earth +with our bodies, nor have we been left famishing; blessed be God that he +has let me see such a thing with my own eyes!" + +"Thou sayest well, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "but remember all times are +not alike nor do they always run the same way; and these things the +vulgar commonly call omens, which are not based upon any natural reason, +will by him who is wise be esteemed and reckoned happy accidents merely. +One of these believers in omens will get up of a morning, leave his +house, and meet a friar of the order of the blessed Saint Francis, and, +as if he had met a griffin, he will turn about and go home. With another +Mendoza the salt is spilt on his table, and gloom is spilt over his +heart, as if nature was obliged to give warning of coming misfortunes by +means of such trivial things as these. The wise man and the Christian +should not trifle with what it may please heaven to do. Scipio on coming +to Africa stumbled as he leaped on shore; his soldiers took it as a bad +omen; but he, clasping the soil with his arms, exclaimed, 'Thou canst not +escape me, Africa, for I hold thee tight between my arms.' Thus, Sancho, +meeting those images has been to me a most happy occurrence." + +"I can well believe it," said Sancho; "but I wish your worship would tell +me what is the reason that the Spaniards, when they are about to give +battle, in calling on that Saint James the Moorslayer, say 'Santiago and +close Spain!' Is Spain, then, open, so that it is needful to close it; or +what is the meaning of this form?" + +"Thou art very simple, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "God, look you, gave +that great knight of the Red Cross to Spain as her patron saint and +protector, especially in those hard struggles the Spaniards had with the +Moors; and therefore they invoke and call upon him as their defender in +all their battles; and in these he has been many a time seen beating +down, trampling under foot, destroying and slaughtering the Hagarene +squadrons in the sight of all; of which fact I could give thee many +examples recorded in truthful Spanish histories." + +Sancho changed the subject, and said to his master, "I marvel, senor, at +the boldness of Altisidora, the duchess's handmaid; he whom they call +Love must have cruelly pierced and wounded her; they say he is a little +blind urchin who, though blear-eyed, or more properly speaking sightless, +if he aims at a heart, be it ever so small, hits it and pierces it +through and through with his arrows. I have heard it said too that the +arrows of Love are blunted and robbed of their points by maidenly modesty +and reserve; but with this Altisidora it seems they are sharpened rather +than blunted." + +"Bear in mind, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "that love is influenced by no +consideration, recognises no restraints of reason, and is of the same +nature as death, that assails alike the lofty palaces of kings and the +humble cabins of shepherds; and when it takes entire possession of a +heart, the first thing it does is to banish fear and shame from it; and +so without shame Altisidora declared her passion, which excited in my +mind embarrassment rather than commiseration." + +"Notable cruelty!" exclaimed Sancho; "unheard-of ingratitude! I can only +say for myself that the very smallest loving word of hers would have +subdued me and made a slave of me. The devil! What a heart of marble, +what bowels of brass, what a soul of mortar! But I can't imagine what it +is that this damsel saw in your worship that could have conquered and +captivated her so. What gallant figure was it, what bold bearing, what +sprightly grace, what comeliness of feature, which of these things by +itself, or what all together, could have made her fall in love with you? +For indeed and in truth many a time I stop to look at your worship from +the sole of your foot to the topmost hair of your head, and I see more to +frighten one than to make one fall in love; moreover I have heard say +that beauty is the first and main thing that excites love, and as your +worship has none at all, I don't know what the poor creature fell in love +with." + +"Recollect, Sancho," replied Don Quixote, "there are two sorts of beauty, +one of the mind, the other of the body; that of the mind displays and +exhibits itself in intelligence, in modesty, in honourable conduct, in +generosity, in good breeding; and all these qualities are possible and +may exist in an ugly man; and when it is this sort of beauty and not that +of the body that is the attraction, love is apt to spring up suddenly and +violently. I, Sancho, perceive clearly enough that I am not beautiful, +but at the same time I know I am not hideous; and it is enough for an +honest man not to be a monster to be an object of love, if only he +possesses the endowments of mind I have mentioned." + +While engaged in this discourse they were making their way through a wood +that lay beyond the road, when suddenly, without expecting anything of +the kind, Don Quixote found himself caught in some nets of green cord +stretched from one tree to another; and unable to conceive what it could +be, he said to Sancho, "Sancho, it strikes me this affair of these nets +will prove one of the strangest adventures imaginable. May I die if the +enchanters that persecute me are not trying to entangle me in them and +delay my journey, by way of revenge for my obduracy towards Altisidora. +Well then let me tell them that if these nets, instead of being green +cord, were made of the hardest diamonds, or stronger than that wherewith +the jealous god of blacksmiths enmeshed Venus and Mars, I would break +them as easily as if they were made of rushes or cotton threads." But +just as he was about to press forward and break through all, suddenly +from among some trees two shepherdesses of surpassing beauty presented +themselves to his sight--or at least damsels dressed like shepherdesses, +save that their jerkins and sayas were of fine brocade; that is to say, +the sayas were rich farthingales of gold embroidered tabby. Their hair, +that in its golden brightness vied with the beams of the sun itself, fell +loose upon their shoulders and was crowned with garlands twined with +green laurel and red everlasting; and their years to all appearance were +not under fifteen nor above eighteen. + +Such was the spectacle that filled Sancho with amazement, fascinated Don +Quixote, made the sun halt in his course to behold them, and held all +four in a strange silence. One of the shepherdesses, at length, was the +first to speak and said to Don Quixote, "Hold, sir knight, and do not +break these nets; for they are not spread here to do you any harm, but +only for our amusement; and as I know you will ask why they have been put +up, and who we are, I will tell you in a few words. In a village some two +leagues from this, where there are many people of quality and rich +gentlefolk, it was agreed upon by a number of friends and relations to +come with their wives, sons and daughters, neighbours, friends and +kinsmen, and make holiday in this spot, which is one of the pleasantest +in the whole neighbourhood, setting up a new pastoral Arcadia among +ourselves, we maidens dressing ourselves as shepherdesses and the youths +as shepherds. We have prepared two eclogues, one by the famous poet +Garcilasso, the other by the most excellent Camoens, in its own +Portuguese tongue, but we have not as yet acted them. Yesterday was the +first day of our coming here; we have a few of what they say are called +field-tents pitched among the trees on the bank of an ample brook that +fertilises all these meadows; last night we spread these nets in the +trees here to snare the silly little birds that startled by the noise we +make may fly into them. If you please to be our guest, senor, you will be +welcomed heartily and courteously, for here just now neither care nor +sorrow shall enter." + +She held her peace and said no more, and Don Quixote made answer, "Of a +truth, fairest lady, Actaeon when he unexpectedly beheld Diana bathing in +the stream could not have been more fascinated and wonderstruck than I at +the sight of your beauty. I commend your mode of entertainment, and thank +you for the kindness of your invitation; and if I can serve you, you may +command me with full confidence of being obeyed, for my profession is +none other than to show myself grateful, and ready to serve persons of +all conditions, but especially persons of quality such as your appearance +indicates; and if, instead of taking up, as they probably do, but a small +space, these nets took up the whole surface of the globe, I would seek +out new worlds through which to pass, so as not to break them; and that +ye may give some degree of credence to this exaggerated language of mine, +know that it is no less than Don Quixote of La Mancha that makes this +declaration to you, if indeed it be that such a name has reached your +ears." + +"Ah! friend of my soul," instantly exclaimed the other shepherdess, "what +great good fortune has befallen us! Seest thou this gentleman we have +before us? Well then let me tell thee he is the most valiant and the most +devoted and the most courteous gentleman in all the world, unless a +history of his achievements that has been printed and I have read is +telling lies and deceiving us. I will lay a wager that this good fellow +who is with him is one Sancho Panza his squire, whose drolleries none can +equal." + +"That's true," said Sancho; "I am that same droll and squire you speak +of, and this gentleman is my master Don Quixote of La Mancha, the same +that's in the history and that they talk about." + +"Oh, my friend," said the other, "let us entreat him to stay; for it will +give our fathers and brothers infinite pleasure; I too have heard just +what thou hast told me of the valour of the one and the drolleries of the +other; and what is more, of him they say that he is the most constant and +loyal lover that was ever heard of, and that his lady is one Dulcinea del +Toboso, to whom all over Spain the palm of beauty is awarded." + +"And justly awarded," said Don Quixote, "unless, indeed, your unequalled +beauty makes it a matter of doubt. But spare yourselves the trouble, +ladies, of pressing me to stay, for the urgent calls of my profession do +not allow me to take rest under any circumstances." + +At this instant there came up to the spot where the four stood a brother +of one of the two shepherdesses, like them in shepherd costume, and as +richly and gaily dressed as they were. They told him that their companion +was the valiant Don Quixote of La Mancha, and the other Sancho his +squire, of whom he knew already from having read their history. The gay +shepherd offered him his services and begged that he would accompany him +to their tents, and Don Quixote had to give way and comply. And now the +gave was started, and the nets were filled with a variety of birds that +deceived by the colour fell into the danger they were flying from. +Upwards of thirty persons, all gaily attired as shepherds and +shepherdesses, assembled on the spot, and were at once informed who Don +Quixote and his squire were, whereat they were not a little delighted, as +they knew of him already through his history. They repaired to the tents, +where they found tables laid out, and choicely, plentifully, and neatly +furnished. They treated Don Quixote as a person of distinction, giving +him the place of honour, and all observed him, and were full of +astonishment at the spectacle. At last the cloth being removed, Don +Quixote with great composure lifted up his voice and said: + +"One of the greatest sins that men are guilty of is--some will say +pride--but I say ingratitude, going by the common saying that hell is +full of ingrates. This sin, so far as it has lain in my power, I have +endeavoured to avoid ever since I have enjoyed the faculty of reason; and +if I am unable to requite good deeds that have been done me by other +deeds, I substitute the desire to do so; and if that be not enough I make +them known publicly; for he who declares and makes known the good deeds +done to him would repay them by others if it were in his power, and for +the most part those who receive are the inferiors of those who give. +Thus, God is superior to all because he is the supreme giver, and the +offerings of man fall short by an infinite distance of being a full +return for the gifts of God; but gratitude in some degree makes up for +this deficiency and shortcoming. I therefore, grateful for the favour +that has been extended to me here, and unable to make a return in the +same measure, restricted as I am by the narrow limits of my power, offer +what I can and what I have to offer in my own way; and so I declare that +for two full days I will maintain in the middle of this highway leading +to Saragossa, that these ladies disguised as shepherdesses, who are here +present, are the fairest and most courteous maidens in the world, +excepting only the peerless Dulcinea del Toboso, sole mistress of my +thoughts, be it said without offence to those who hear me, ladies and +gentlemen." + +On hearing this Sancho, who had been listening with great attention, +cried out in a loud voice, "Is it possible there is anyone in the world +who will dare to say and swear that this master of mine is a madman? Say, +gentlemen shepherds, is there a village priest, be he ever so wise or +learned, who could say what my master has said; or is there +knight-errant, whatever renown he may have as a man of valour, that could +offer what my master has offered now?" + +Don Quixote turned upon Sancho, and with a countenance glowing with anger +said to him, "Is it possible, Sancho, there is anyone in the whole world +who will say thou art not a fool, with a lining to match, and I know not +what trimmings of impertinence and roguery? Who asked thee to meddle in +my affairs, or to inquire whether I am a wise man or a blockhead? Hold +thy peace; answer me not a word; saddle Rocinante if he be unsaddled; and +let us go to put my offer into execution; for with the right that I have +on my side thou mayest reckon as vanquished all who shall venture to +question it;" and in a great rage, and showing his anger plainly, he rose +from his seat, leaving the company lost in wonder, and making them feel +doubtful whether they ought to regard him as a madman or a rational +being. In the end, though they sought to dissuade him from involving +himself in such a challenge, assuring him they admitted his gratitude as +fully established, and needed no fresh proofs to be convinced of his +valiant spirit, as those related in the history of his exploits were +sufficient, still Don Quixote persisted in his resolve; and mounted on +Rocinante, bracing his buckler on his arm and grasping his lance, he +posted himself in the middle of a high road that was not far from the +green meadow. Sancho followed on Dapple, together with all the members of +the pastoral gathering, eager to see what would be the upshot of his +vainglorious and extraordinary proposal. + +Don Quixote, then, having, as has been said, planted himself in the +middle of the road, made the welkin ring with words to this effect: "Ho +ye travellers and wayfarers, knights, squires, folk on foot or on +horseback, who pass this way or shall pass in the course of the next two +days! Know that Don Quixote of La Mancha, knight-errant, is posted here +to maintain by arms that the beauty and courtesy enshrined in the nymphs +that dwell in these meadows and groves surpass all upon earth, putting +aside the lady of my heart, Dulcinea del Toboso. Wherefore, let him who +is of the opposite opinion come on, for here I await him." + +Twice he repeated the same words, and twice they fell unheard by any +adventurer; but fate, that was guiding affairs for him from better to +better, so ordered it that shortly afterwards there appeared on the road +a crowd of men on horseback, many of them with lances in their hands, all +riding in a compact body and in great haste. No sooner had those who were +with Don Quixote seen them than they turned about and withdrew to some +distance from the road, for they knew that if they stayed some harm might +come to them; but Don Quixote with intrepid heart stood his ground, and +Sancho Panza shielded himself with Rocinante's hind-quarters. The troop +of lancers came up, and one of them who was in advance began shouting to +Don Quixote, "Get out of the way, you son of the devil, or these bulls +will knock you to pieces!" + +"Rabble!" returned Don Quixote, "I care nothing for bulls, be they the +fiercest Jarama breeds on its banks. Confess at once, scoundrels, that +what I have declared is true; else ye have to deal with me in combat." + +The herdsman had no time to reply, nor Don Quixote to get out of the way +even if he wished; and so the drove of fierce bulls and tame bullocks, +together with the crowd of herdsmen and others who were taking them to be +penned up in a village where they were to be run the next day, passed +over Don Quixote and over Sancho, Rocinante and Dapple, hurling them all +to the earth and rolling them over on the ground. Sancho was left +crushed, Don Quixote scared, Dapple belaboured and Rocinante in no very +sound condition. + +They all got up, however, at length, and Don Quixote in great haste, +stumbling here and falling there, started off running after the drove, +shouting out, "Hold! stay! ye rascally rabble, a single knight awaits +you, and he is not of the temper or opinion of those who say, 'For a +flying enemy make a bridge of silver.'" The retreating party in their +haste, however, did not stop for that, or heed his menaces any more than +last year's clouds. Weariness brought Don Quixote to a halt, and more +enraged than avenged he sat down on the road to wait until Sancho, +Rocinante and Dapple came up. When they reached him master and man +mounted once more, and without going back to bid farewell to the mock or +imitation Arcadia, and more in humiliation than contentment, they +continued their journey. + +Chapter LIX. - +Wherein is related the strange thing, which may be regarded as an +adventure, that happened Don Quixote + +A clear limpid spring which they discovered in a cool grove relieved Don +Quixote and Sancho of the dust and fatigue due to the unpolite behaviour +of the bulls, and by the side of this, having turned Dapple and Rocinante +loose without headstall or bridle, the forlorn pair, master and man, +seated themselves. Sancho had recourse to the larder of his alforjas and +took out of them what he called the prog; Don Quixote rinsed his mouth +and bathed his face, by which cooling process his flagging energies were +revived. Out of pure vexation he remained without eating, and out of pure +politeness Sancho did not venture to touch a morsel of what was before +him, but waited for his master to act as taster. Seeing, however, that, +absorbed in thought, he was forgetting to carry the bread to his mouth, +he said never a word, and trampling every sort of good breeding under +foot, began to stow away in his paunch the bread and cheese that came to +his hand. + +"Eat, Sancho my friend," said Don Quixote; "support life, which is of +more consequence to thee than to me, and leave me to die under the pain +of my thoughts and pressure of my misfortunes. I was born, Sancho, to +live dying, and thou to die eating; and to prove the truth of what I say, +look at me, printed in histories, famed in arms, courteous in behaviour, +honoured by princes, courted by maidens; and after all, when I looked +forward to palms, triumphs, and crowns, won and earned by my valiant +deeds, I have this morning seen myself trampled on, kicked, and crushed +by the feet of unclean and filthy animals. This thought blunts my teeth, +paralyses my jaws, cramps my hands, and robs me of all appetite for food; +so much so that I have a mind to let myself die of hunger, the cruelest +death of all deaths." + +"So then," said Sancho, munching hard all the time, "your worship does +not agree with the proverb that says, 'Let Martha die, but let her die +with a full belly.' I, at any rate, have no mind to kill myself; so far +from that, I mean to do as the cobbler does, who stretches the leather +with his teeth until he makes it reach as far as he wants. I'll stretch +out my life by eating until it reaches the end heaven has fixed for it; +and let me tell you, senor, there's no greater folly than to think of +dying of despair as your worship does; take my advice, and after eating +lie down and sleep a bit on this green grass-mattress, and you will see +that when you awake you'll feel something better." + +Don Quixote did as he recommended, for it struck him that Sancho's +reasoning was more like a philosopher's than a blockhead's, and said he, +"Sancho, if thou wilt do for me what I am going to tell thee my ease of +mind would be more assured and my heaviness of heart not so great; and it +is this; to go aside a little while I am sleeping in accordance with thy +advice, and, making bare thy carcase to the air, to give thyself three or +four hundred lashes with Rocinante's reins, on account of the three +thousand and odd thou art to give thyself for the disenchantment of +Dulcinea; for it is a great pity that the poor lady should be left +enchanted through thy carelessness and negligence." + +"There is a good deal to be said on that point," said Sancho; "let us +both go to sleep now, and after that, God has decreed what will happen. +Let me tell your worship that for a man to whip himself in cold blood is +a hard thing, especially if the stripes fall upon an ill-nourished and +worse-fed body. Let my lady Dulcinea have patience, and when she is least +expecting it, she will see me made a riddle of with whipping, and 'until +death it's all life;' I mean that I have still life in me, and the desire +to make good what I have promised." + +Don Quixote thanked him, and ate a little, and Sancho a good deal, and +then they both lay down to sleep, leaving those two inseparable friends +and comrades, Rocinante and Dapple, to their own devices and to feed +unrestrained upon the abundant grass with which the meadow was furnished. +They woke up rather late, mounted once more and resumed their journey, +pushing on to reach an inn which was in sight, apparently a league off. I +say an inn, because Don Quixote called it so, contrary to his usual +practice of calling all inns castles. They reached it, and asked the +landlord if they could put up there. He said yes, with as much comfort +and as good fare as they could find in Saragossa. They dismounted, and +Sancho stowed away his larder in a room of which the landlord gave him +the key. He took the beasts to the stable, fed them, and came back to see +what orders Don Quixote, who was seated on a bench at the door, had for +him, giving special thanks to heaven that this inn had not been taken for +a castle by his master. Supper-time came, and they repaired to their +room, and Sancho asked the landlord what he had to give them for supper. +To this the landlord replied that his mouth should be the measure; he had +only to ask what he would; for that inn was provided with the birds of +the air and the fowls of the earth and the fish of the sea. + +"There's no need of all that," said Sancho; "if they'll roast us a couple +of chickens we'll be satisfied, for my master is delicate and eats +little, and I'm not over and above gluttonous." + +The landlord replied he had no chickens, for the kites had stolen them. + +"Well then," said Sancho, "let senor landlord tell them to roast a +pullet, so that it is a tender one." + +"Pullet! My father!" said the landlord; "indeed and in truth it's only +yesterday I sent over fifty to the city to sell; but saving pullets ask +what you will." + +"In that case," said Sancho, "you will not be without veal or kid." + +"Just now," said the landlord, "there's none in the house, for it's all +finished; but next week there will be enough and to spare." + +"Much good that does us," said Sancho; "I'll lay a bet that all these +short-comings are going to wind up in plenty of bacon and eggs." + +"By God," said the landlord, "my guest's wits must be precious dull; I +tell him I have neither pullets nor hens, and he wants me to have eggs! +Talk of other dainties, if you please, and don't ask for hens again." + +"Body o' me!" said Sancho, "let's settle the matter; say at once what you +have got, and let us have no more words about it." + +"In truth and earnest, senor guest," said the landlord, "all I have is a +couple of cow-heels like calves' feet, or a couple of calves' feet like +cowheels; they are boiled with chick-peas, onions, and bacon, and at this +moment they are crying 'Come eat me, come eat me." + +"I mark them for mine on the spot," said Sancho; "let nobody touch them; +I'll pay better for them than anyone else, for I could not wish for +anything more to my taste; and I don't care a pin whether they are feet +or heels." + +"Nobody shall touch them," said the landlord; "for the other guests I +have, being persons of high quality, bring their own cook and caterer and +larder with them." + +"If you come to people of quality," said Sancho, "there's nobody more so +than my master; but the calling he follows does not allow of larders or +store-rooms; we lay ourselves down in the middle of a meadow, and fill +ourselves with acorns or medlars." + +Here ended Sancho's conversation with the landlord, Sancho not caring to +carry it any farther by answering him; for he had already asked him what +calling or what profession it was his master was of. + +Supper-time having come, then, Don Quixote betook himself to his room, +the landlord brought in the stew-pan just as it was, and he sat himself +down to sup very resolutely. It seems that in another room, which was +next to Don Quixote's, with nothing but a thin partition to separate it, +he overheard these words, "As you live, Senor Don Jeronimo, while they +are bringing supper, let us read another chapter of the Second Part of +'Don Quixote of La Mancha.'" + +The instant Don Quixote heard his own name be started to his feet and +listened with open ears to catch what they said about him, and heard the +Don Jeronimo who had been addressed say in reply, "Why would you have us +read that absurd stuff, Don Juan, when it is impossible for anyone who +has read the First Part of the history of 'Don Quixote of La Mancha' to +take any pleasure in reading this Second Part?" + +"For all that," said he who was addressed as Don Juan, "we shall do well +to read it, for there is no book so bad but it has something good in it. +What displeases me most in it is that it represents Don Quixote as now +cured of his love for Dulcinea del Toboso." + +On hearing this Don Quixote, full of wrath and indignation, lifted up his +voice and said, "Whoever he may be who says that Don Quixote of La Mancha +has forgotten or can forget Dulcinea del Toboso, I will teach him with +equal arms that what he says is very far from the truth; for neither can +the peerless Dulcinea del Toboso be forgotten, nor can forgetfulness have +a place in Don Quixote; his motto is constancy, and his profession to +maintain the same with his life and never wrong it." + +"Who is this that answers us?" said they in the next room. + +"Who should it be," said Sancho, "but Don Quixote of La Mancha himself, +who will make good all he has said and all he will say; for pledges don't +trouble a good payer." + +Sancho had hardly uttered these words when two gentlemen, for such they +seemed to be, entered the room, and one of them, throwing his arms round +Don Quixote's neck, said to him, "Your appearance cannot leave any +question as to your name, nor can your name fail to identify your +appearance; unquestionably, senor, you are the real Don Quixote of La +Mancha, cynosure and morning star of knight-errantry, despite and in +defiance of him who has sought to usurp your name and bring to naught +your achievements, as the author of this book which I here present to you +has done;" and with this he put a book which his companion carried into +the hands of Don Quixote, who took it, and without replying began to run +his eye over it; but he presently returned it saying, "In the little I +have seen I have discovered three things in this author that deserve to +be censured. The first is some words that I have read in the preface; the +next that the language is Aragonese, for sometimes he writes without +articles; and the third, which above all stamps him as ignorant, is that +he goes wrong and departs from the truth in the most important part of +the history, for here he says that my squire Sancho Panza's wife is +called Mari Gutierrez, when she is called nothing of the sort, but Teresa +Panza; and when a man errs on such an important point as this there is +good reason to fear that he is in error on every other point in the +history." + +"A nice sort of historian, indeed!" exclaimed Sancho at this; "he must +know a deal about our affairs when he calls my wife Teresa Panza, Mari +Gutierrez; take the book again, senor, and see if I am in it and if he +has changed my name." + +"From your talk, friend," said Don Jeronimo, "no doubt you are Sancho +Panza, Senor Don Quixote's squire." + +"Yes, I am," said Sancho; "and I'm proud of it." + +"Faith, then," said the gentleman, "this new author does not handle you +with the decency that displays itself in your person; he makes you out a +heavy feeder and a fool, and not in the least droll, and a very different +being from the Sancho described in the First Part of your master's +history." + +"God forgive him," said Sancho; "he might have left me in my corner +without troubling his head about me; 'let him who knows how ring the +bells; 'Saint Peter is very well in Rome.'" + +The two gentlemen pressed Don Quixote to come into their room and have +supper with them, as they knew very well there was nothing in that inn +fit for one of his sort. Don Quixote, who was always polite, yielded to +their request and supped with them. Sancho stayed behind with the stew. +and invested with plenary delegated authority seated himself at the head +of the table, and the landlord sat down with him, for he was no less fond +of cow-heel and calves' feet than Sancho was. + +While at supper Don Juan asked Don Quixote what news he had of the lady +Dulcinea del Toboso, was she married, had she been brought to bed, or was +she with child, or did she in maidenhood, still preserving her modesty +and delicacy, cherish the remembrance of the tender passion of Senor Don +Quixote? + +To this he replied, "Dulcinea is a maiden still, and my passion more +firmly rooted than ever, our intercourse unsatisfactory as before, and +her beauty transformed into that of a foul country wench;" and then he +proceeded to give them a full and particular account of the enchantment +of Dulcinea, and of what had happened him in the cave of Montesinos, +together with what the sage Merlin had prescribed for her disenchantment, +namely the scourging of Sancho. + +Exceedingly great was the amusement the two gentlemen derived from +hearing Don Quixote recount the strange incidents of his history; and if +they were amazed by his absurdities they were equally amazed by the +elegant style in which he delivered them. On the one hand they regarded +him as a man of wit and sense, and on the other he seemed to them a +maundering blockhead, and they could not make up their minds whereabouts +between wisdom and folly they ought to place him. + +Sancho having finished his supper, and left the landlord in the X +condition, repaired to the room where his master was, and as he came in +said, "May I die, sirs, if the author of this book your worships have got +has any mind that we should agree; as he calls me glutton (according to +what your worships say) I wish he may not call me drunkard too." + +"But he does," said Don Jeronimo; "I cannot remember, however, in what +way, though I know his words are offensive, and what is more, lying, as I +can see plainly by the physiognomy of the worthy Sancho before me." + +"Believe me," said Sancho, "the Sancho and the Don Quixote of this +history must be different persons from those that appear in the one Cide +Hamete Benengeli wrote, who are ourselves; my master valiant, wise, and +true in love, and I simple, droll, and neither glutton nor drunkard." + +"I believe it," said Don Juan; "and were it possible, an order should be +issued that no one should have the presumption to deal with anything +relating to Don Quixote, save his original author Cide Hamete; just as +Alexander commanded that no one should presume to paint his portrait save +Apelles." + +"Let him who will paint me," said Don Quixote; "but let him not abuse me; +for patience will often break down when they heap insults upon it." + +"None can be offered to Senor Don Quixote," said Don Juan, "that he +himself will not be able to avenge, if he does not ward it off with the +shield of his patience, which, I take it, is great and strong." + +A considerable portion of the night passed in conversation of this sort, +and though Don Juan wished Don Quixote to read more of the book to see +what it was all about, he was not to be prevailed upon, saying that he +treated it as read and pronounced it utterly silly; and, if by any chance +it should come to its author's ears that he had it in his hand, he did +not want him to flatter himself with the idea that he had read it; for +our thoughts, and still more our eyes, should keep themselves aloof from +what is obscene and filthy. + +They asked him whither he meant to direct his steps. He replied, to +Saragossa, to take part in the harness jousts which were held in that +city every year. Don Juan told him that the new history described how Don +Quixote, let him be who he might, took part there in a tilting at the +ring, utterly devoid of invention, poor in mottoes, very poor in costume, +though rich in sillinesses. + +"For that very reason," said Don Quixote, "I will not set foot in +Saragossa; and by that means I shall expose to the world the lie of this +new history writer, and people will see that I am not the Don Quixote he +speaks of." + +"You will do quite right," said Don Jeronimo; "and there are other jousts +at Barcelona in which Senor Don Quixote may display his prowess." + +"That is what I mean to do," said Don Quixote; "and as it is now time, I +pray your worships to give me leave to retire to bed, and to place and +retain me among the number of your greatest friends and servants." + +"And me too," said Sancho; "maybe I'll be good for something." + +With this they exchanged farewells, and Don Quixote and Sancho retired to +their room, leaving Don Juan and Don Jeronimo amazed to see the medley he +made of his good sense and his craziness; and they felt thoroughly +convinced that these, and not those their Aragonese author described, +were the genuine Don Quixote and Sancho. Don Quixote rose betimes, and +bade adieu to his hosts by knocking at the partition of the other room. +Sancho paid the landlord magnificently, and recommended him either to say +less about the providing of his inn or to keep it better provided. + +Chapter LX. - +Of what happened Don Quixote on his way to Barcelona + +It was a fresh morning giving promise of a cool day as Don Quixote +quitted the inn, first of all taking care to ascertain the most direct +road to Barcelona without touching upon Saragossa; so anxious was he to +make out this new historian, who they said abused him so, to be a liar. +Well, as it fell out, nothing worthy of being recorded happened him for +six days, at the end of which, having turned aside out of the road, he +was overtaken by night in a thicket of oak or cork trees; for on this +point Cide Hamete is not as precise as he usually is on other matters. + +Master and man dismounted from their beasts, and as soon as they had +settled themselves at the foot of the trees, Sancho, who had had a good +noontide meal that day, let himself, without more ado, pass the gates of +sleep. But Don Quixote, whom his thoughts, far more than hunger, kept +awake, could not close an eye, and roamed in fancy to and fro through all +sorts of places. At one moment it seemed to him that he was in the cave +of Montesinos and saw Dulcinea, transformed into a country wench, +skipping and mounting upon her she-ass; again that the words of the sage +Merlin were sounding in his ears, setting forth the conditions to be +observed and the exertions to be made for the disenchantment of Dulcinea. +He lost all patience when he considered the laziness and want of charity +of his squire Sancho; for to the best of his belief he had only given +himself five lashes, a number paltry and disproportioned to the vast +number required. At this thought he felt such vexation and anger that he +reasoned the matter thus: "If Alexander the Great cut the Gordian knot, +saying, 'To cut comes to the same thing as to untie,' and yet did not +fail to become lord paramount of all Asia, neither more nor less could +happen now in Dulcinea's disenchantment if I scourge Sancho against his +will; for, if it is the condition of the remedy that Sancho shall receive +three thousand and odd lashes, what does it matter to me whether he +inflicts them himself, or some one else inflicts them, when the essential +point is that he receives them, let them come from whatever quarter they +may?" + +With this idea he went over to Sancho, having first taken Rocinante's +reins and arranged them so as to be able to flog him with them, and began +to untie the points (the common belief is he had but one in front) by +which his breeches were held up; but the instant he approached him Sancho +woke up in his full senses and cried out, "What is this? Who is touching +me and untrussing me?" + +"It is I," said Don Quixote, "and I come to make good thy shortcomings +and relieve my own distresses; I come to whip thee, Sancho, and wipe off +some portion of the debt thou hast undertaken. Dulcinea is perishing, +thou art living on regardless, I am dying of hope deferred; therefore +untruss thyself with a good will, for mine it is, here, in this retired +spot, to give thee at least two thousand lashes." + +"Not a bit of it," said Sancho; "let your worship keep quiet, or else by +the living God the deaf shall hear us; the lashes I pledged myself to +must be voluntary and not forced upon me, and just now I have no fancy to +whip myself; it is enough if I give you my word to flog and flap myself +when I have a mind." + +"It will not do to leave it to thy courtesy, Sancho," said Don Quixote, +"for thou art hard of heart and, though a clown, tender of flesh;" and at +the same time he strove and struggled to untie him. + +Seeing this Sancho got up, and grappling with his master he gripped him +with all his might in his arms, giving him a trip with the heel stretched +him on the ground on his back, and pressing his right knee on his chest +held his hands in his own so that he could neither move nor breathe. + +"How now, traitor!" exclaimed Don Quixote. "Dost thou revolt against thy +master and natural lord? Dost thou rise against him who gives thee his +bread?" + +"I neither put down king, nor set up king," said Sancho; "I only stand up +for myself who am my own lord; if your worship promises me to be quiet, +and not to offer to whip me now, I'll let you go free and unhindered; if +not-- + +Traitor and Dona Sancha's foe, +Thou diest on the spot." +Don Quixote gave his promise, and swore by the life of his thoughts not +to touch so much as a hair of his garments, and to leave him entirely +free and to his own discretion to whip himself whenever he pleased. + +Sancho rose and removed some distance from the spot, but as he was about +to place himself leaning against another tree he felt something touch his +head, and putting up his hands encountered somebody's two feet with shoes +and stockings on them. He trembled with fear and made for another tree, +where the very same thing happened to him, and he fell a-shouting, +calling upon Don Quixote to come and protect him. Don Quixote did so, and +asked him what had happened to him, and what he was afraid of. Sancho +replied that all the trees were full of men's feet and legs. Don Quixote +felt them, and guessed at once what it was, and said to Sancho, "Thou +hast nothing to be afraid of, for these feet and legs that thou feelest +but canst not see belong no doubt to some outlaws and freebooters that +have been hanged on these trees; for the authorities in these parts are +wont to hang them up by twenties and thirties when they catch them; +whereby I conjecture that I must be near Barcelona;" and it was, in fact, +as he supposed; with the first light they looked up and saw that the +fruit hanging on those trees were freebooters' bodies. + +And now day dawned; and if the dead freebooters had scared them, their +hearts were no less troubled by upwards of forty living ones, who all of +a sudden surrounded them, and in the Catalan tongue bade them stand and +wait until their captain came up. Don Quixote was on foot with his horse +unbridled and his lance leaning against a tree, and in short completely +defenceless; he thought it best therefore to fold his arms and bow his +head and reserve himself for a more favourable occasion and opportunity. +The robbers made haste to search Dapple, and did not leave him a single +thing of all he carried in the alforjas and in the valise; and lucky it +was for Sancho that the duke's crowns and those he brought from home were +in a girdle that he wore round him; but for all that these good folk +would have stripped him, and even looked to see what he had hidden +between the skin and flesh, but for the arrival at that moment of their +captain, who was about thirty-four years of age apparently, strongly +built, above the middle height, of stern aspect and swarthy complexion. +He was mounted upon a powerful horse, and had on a coat of mail, with +four of the pistols they call petronels in that country at his waist. He +saw that his squires (for so they call those who follow that trade) were +about to rifle Sancho Panza, but he ordered them to desist and was at +once obeyed, so the girdle escaped. He wondered to see the lance leaning +against the tree, the shield on the ground, and Don Quixote in armour and +dejected, with the saddest and most melancholy face that sadness itself +could produce; and going up to him he said, "Be not so cast down, good +man, for you have not fallen into the hands of any inhuman Busiris, but +into Roque Guinart's, which are more merciful than cruel." + +"The cause of my dejection," returned Don Quixote, "is not that I have +fallen into thy hands, O valiant Roque, whose fame is bounded by no +limits on earth, but that my carelessness should have been so great that +thy soldiers should have caught me unbridled, when it is my duty, +according to the rule of knight-errantry which I profess, to be always on +the alert and at all times my own sentinel; for let me tell thee, great +Roque, had they found me on my horse, with my lance and shield, it would +not have been very easy for them to reduce me to submission, for I am Don +Quixote of La Mancha, he who hath filled the whole world with his +achievements." + +Roque Guinart at once perceived that Don Quixote's weakness was more akin +to madness than to swagger; and though he had sometimes heard him spoken +of, he never regarded the things attributed to him as true, nor could he +persuade himself that such a humour could become dominant in the heart of +man; he was extremely glad, therefore, to meet him and test at close +quarters what he had heard of him at a distance; so he said to him, +"Despair not, valiant knight, nor regard as an untoward fate the position +in which thou findest thyself; it may be that by these slips thy crooked +fortune will make itself straight; for heaven by strange circuitous ways, +mysterious and incomprehensible to man, raises up the fallen and makes +rich the poor." + +Don Quixote was about to thank him, when they heard behind them a noise +as of a troop of horses; there was, however, but one, riding on which at +a furious pace came a youth, apparently about twenty years of age, clad +in green damask edged with gold and breeches and a loose frock, with a +hat looped up in the Walloon fashion, tight-fitting polished boots, gilt +spurs, dagger and sword, and in his hand a musketoon, and a pair of +pistols at his waist. + +Roque turned round at the noise and perceived this comely figure, which +drawing near thus addressed him, "I came in quest of thee, valiant Roque, +to find in thee if not a remedy at least relief in my misfortune; and not +to keep thee in suspense, for I see thou dost not recognise me, I will +tell thee who I am; I am Claudia Jeronima, the daughter of Simon Forte, +thy good friend, and special enemy of Clauquel Torrellas, who is thine +also as being of the faction opposed to thee. Thou knowest that this +Torrellas has a son who is called, or at least was not two hours since, +Don Vicente Torrellas. Well, to cut short the tale of my misfortune, I +will tell thee in a few words what this youth has brought upon me. He saw +me, he paid court to me, I listened to him, and, unknown to my father, I +loved him; for there is no woman, however secluded she may live or close +she may be kept, who will not have opportunities and to spare for +following her headlong impulses. In a word, he pledged himself to be +mine, and I promised to be his, without carrying matters any further. +Yesterday I learned that, forgetful of his pledge to me, he was about to +marry another, and that he was to go this morning to plight his troth, +intelligence which overwhelmed and exasperated me; my father not being at +home I was able to adopt this costume you see, and urging my horse to +speed I overtook Don Vicente about a league from this, and without +waiting to utter reproaches or hear excuses I fired this musket at him, +and these two pistols besides, and to the best of my belief I must have +lodged more than two bullets in his body, opening doors to let my honour +go free, enveloped in his blood. I left him there in the hands of his +servants, who did not dare and were not able to interfere in his defence, +and I come to seek from thee a safe-conduct into France, where I have +relatives with whom I can live; and also to implore thee to protect my +father, so that Don Vicente's numerous kinsmen may not venture to wreak +their lawless vengeance upon him." + +Roque, filled with admiration at the gallant bearing, high spirit, comely +figure, and adventure of the fair Claudia, said to her, "Come, senora, +let us go and see if thy enemy is dead; and then we will consider what +will be best for thee." Don Quixote, who had been listening to what +Claudia said and Roque Guinart said in reply to her, exclaimed, "Nobody +need trouble himself with the defence of this lady, for I take it upon +myself. Give me my horse and arms, and wait for me here; I will go in +quest of this knight, and dead or alive I will make him keep his word +plighted to so great beauty." + +"Nobody need have any doubt about that," said Sancho, "for my master has +a very happy knack of matchmaking; it's not many days since he forced +another man to marry, who in the same way backed out of his promise to +another maiden; and if it had not been for his persecutors the enchanters +changing the man's proper shape into a lacquey's the said maiden would +not be one this minute." + +Roque, who was paying more attention to the fair Claudia's adventure than +to the words of master or man, did not hear them; and ordering his +squires to restore to Sancho everything they had stripped Dapple of, he +directed them to return to the place where they had been quartered during +the night, and then set off with Claudia at full speed in search of the +wounded or slain Don Vicente. They reached the spot where Claudia met +him, but found nothing there save freshly spilt blood; looking all round, +however, they descried some people on the slope of a hill above them, and +concluded, as indeed it proved to be, that it was Don Vicente, whom +either dead or alive his servants were removing to attend to his wounds +or to bury him. They made haste to overtake them, which, as the party +moved slowly, they were able to do with ease. They found Don Vicente in +the arms of his servants, whom he was entreating in a broken feeble voice +to leave him there to die, as the pain of his wounds would not suffer him +to go any farther. Claudia and Roque threw themselves off their horses +and advanced towards him; the servants were overawed by the appearance of +Roque, and Claudia was moved by the sight of Don Vicente, and going up to +him half tenderly half sternly, she seized his hand and said to him, +"Hadst thou given me this according to our compact thou hadst never come +to this pass." + +The wounded gentleman opened his all but closed eyes, and recognising +Claudia said, "I see clearly, fair and mistaken lady, that it is thou +that hast slain me, a punishment not merited or deserved by my feelings +towards thee, for never did I mean to, nor could I, wrong thee in thought +or deed." + +"It is not true, then," said Claudia, "that thou wert going this morning +to marry Leonora the daughter of the rich Balvastro?" + +"Assuredly not," replied Don Vicente; "my cruel fortune must have carried +those tidings to thee to drive thee in thy jealousy to take my life; and +to assure thyself of this, press my hands and take me for thy husband if +thou wilt; I have no better satisfaction to offer thee for the wrong thou +fanciest thou hast received from me." + +Claudia wrung his hands, and her own heart was so wrung that she lay +fainting on the bleeding breast of Don Vicente, whom a death spasm seized +the same instant. Roque was in perplexity and knew not what to do; the +servants ran to fetch water to sprinkle their faces, and brought some and +bathed them with it. Claudia recovered from her fainting fit, but not so +Don Vicente from the paroxysm that had overtaken him, for his life had +come to an end. On perceiving this, Claudia, when she had convinced +herself that her beloved husband was no more, rent the air with her sighs +and made the heavens ring with her lamentations; she tore her hair and +scattered it to the winds, she beat her face with her hands and showed +all the signs of grief and sorrow that could be conceived to come from an +afflicted heart. "Cruel, reckless woman!" she cried, "how easily wert +thou moved to carry out a thought so wicked! O furious force of jealousy, +to what desperate lengths dost thou lead those that give thee lodging in +their bosoms! O husband, whose unhappy fate in being mine hath borne thee +from the marriage bed to the grave!" + +So vehement and so piteous were the lamentations of Claudia that they +drew tears from Roque's eyes, unused as they were to shed them on any +occasion. The servants wept, Claudia swooned away again and again, and +the whole place seemed a field of sorrow and an abode of misfortune. In +the end Roque Guinart directed Don Vicente's servants to carry his body +to his father's village, which was close by, for burial. Claudia told him +she meant to go to a monastery of which an aunt of hers was abbess, where +she intended to pass her life with a better and everlasting spouse. He +applauded her pious resolution, and offered to accompany her +whithersoever she wished, and to protect her father against the kinsmen +of Don Vicente and all the world, should they seek to injure him. Claudia +would not on any account allow him to accompany her; and thanking him for +his offers as well as she could, took leave of him in tears. The servants +of Don Vicente carried away his body, and Roque returned to his comrades, +and so ended the love of Claudia Jeronima; but what wonder, when it was +the insuperable and cruel might of jealousy that wove the web of her sad +story? + +Roque Guinart found his squires at the place to which he had ordered +them, and Don Quixote on Rocinante in the midst of them delivering a +harangue to them in which he urged them to give up a mode of life so full +of peril, as well to the soul as to the body; but as most of them were +Gascons, rough lawless fellows, his speech did not make much impression +on them. Roque on coming up asked Sancho if his men had returned and +restored to him the treasures and jewels they had stripped off Dapple. +Sancho said they had, but that three kerchiefs that were worth three +cities were missing. + +"What are you talking about, man?" said one of the bystanders; "I have +got them, and they are not worth three reals." + +"That is true," said Don Quixote; "but my squire values them at the rate +he says, as having been given me by the person who gave them." + +Roque Guinart ordered them to be restored at once; and making his men +fall in in line he directed all the clothing, jewellery, and money that +they had taken since the last distribution to be produced; and making a +hasty valuation, and reducing what could not be divided into money, he +made shares for the whole band so equitably and carefully, that in no +case did he exceed or fall short of strict distributive justice. + +When this had been done, and all left satisfied, Roque observed to Don +Quixote, "If this scrupulous exactness were not observed with these +fellows there would be no living with them." + +Upon this Sancho remarked, "From what I have seen here, justice is such a +good thing that there is no doing without it, even among the thieves +themselves." + +One of the squires heard this, and raising the butt-end of his harquebuss +would no doubt have broken Sancho's head with it had not Roque Guinart +called out to him to hold his hand. Sancho was frightened out of his +wits, and vowed not to open his lips so long as he was in the company of +these people. + +At this instant one or two of those squires who were posted as sentinels +on the roads, to watch who came along them and report what passed to +their chief, came up and said, "Senor, there is a great troop of people +not far off coming along the road to Barcelona." + +To which Roque replied, "Hast thou made out whether they are of the sort +that are after us, or of the sort we are after?" + +"The sort we are after," said the squire. + +"Well then, away with you all," said Roque, "and bring them here to me at +once without letting one of them escape." + +They obeyed, and Don Quixote, Sancho, and Roque, left by themselves, +waited to see what the squires brought, and while they were waiting Roque +said to Don Quixote, "It must seem a strange sort of life to Senor Don +Quixote, this of ours, strange adventures, strange incidents, and all +full of danger; and I do not wonder that it should seem so, for in truth +I must own there is no mode of life more restless or anxious than ours. +What led me into it was a certain thirst for vengeance, which is strong +enough to disturb the quietest hearts. I am by nature tender-hearted and +kindly, but, as I said, the desire to revenge myself for a wrong that was +done me so overturns all my better impulses that I keep on in this way of +life in spite of what conscience tells me; and as one depth calls to +another, and one sin to another sin, revenges have linked themselves +together, and I have taken upon myself not only my own but those of +others: it pleases God, however, that, though I see myself in this maze +of entanglements, I do not lose all hope of escaping from it and reaching +a safe port." + +Don Quixote was amazed to hear Roque utter such excellent and just +sentiments, for he did not think that among those who followed such +trades as robbing, murdering, and waylaying, there could be anyone +capable of a virtuous thought, and he said in reply, "Senor Roque, the +beginning of health lies in knowing the disease and in the sick man's +willingness to take the medicines which the physician prescribes; you are +sick, you know what ails you, and heaven, or more properly speaking God, +who is our physician, will administer medicines that will cure you, and +cure gradually, and not of a sudden or by a miracle; besides, sinners of +discernment are nearer amendment than those who are fools; and as your +worship has shown good sense in your remarks, all you have to do is to +keep up a good heart and trust that the weakness of your conscience will +be strengthened. And if you have any desire to shorten the journey and +put yourself easily in the way of salvation, come with me, and I will +show you how to become a knight-errant, a calling wherein so many +hardships and mishaps are encountered that if they be taken as penances +they will lodge you in heaven in a trice." + +Roque laughed at Don Quixote's exhortation, and changing the conversation +he related the tragic affair of Claudia Jeronima, at which Sancho was +extremely grieved; for he had not found the young woman's beauty, +boldness, and spirit at all amiss. + +And now the squires despatched to make the prize came up, bringing with +them two gentlemen on horseback, two pilgrims on foot, and a coach full +of women with some six servants on foot and on horseback in attendance on +them, and a couple of muleteers whom the gentlemen had with them. The +squires made a ring round them, both victors and vanquished maintaining +profound silence, waiting for the great Roque Guinart to speak. He asked +the gentlemen who they were, whither they were going, and what money they +carried with them; "Senor," replied one of them, "we are two captains of +Spanish infantry; our companies are at Naples, and we are on our way to +embark in four galleys which they say are at Barcelona under orders for +Sicily; and we have about two or three hundred crowns, with which we are, +according to our notions, rich and contented, for a soldier's poverty +does not allow a more extensive hoard." + +Roque asked the pilgrims the same questions he had put to the captains, +and was answered that they were going to take ship for Rome, and that +between them they might have about sixty reals. He asked also who was in +the coach, whither they were bound and what money they had, and one of +the men on horseback replied, "The persons in the coach are my lady Dona +Guiomar de Quinones, wife of the regent of the Vicaria at Naples, her +little daughter, a handmaid and a duenna; we six servants are in +attendance upon her, and the money amounts to six hundred crowns." + +"So then," said Roque Guinart, "we have got here nine hundred crowns and +sixty reals; my soldiers must number some sixty; see how much there falls +to each, for I am a bad arithmetician." As soon as the robbers heard this +they raised a shout of "Long life to Roque Guinart, in spite of the +lladres that seek his ruin!" + +The captains showed plainly the concern they felt, the regent's lady was +downcast, and the pilgrims did not at all enjoy seeing their property +confiscated. Roque kept them in suspense in this way for a while; but he +had no desire to prolong their distress, which might be seen a bowshot +off, and turning to the captains he said, "Sirs, will your worships be +pleased of your courtesy to lend me sixty crowns, and her ladyship the +regent's wife eighty, to satisfy this band that follows me, for 'it is by +his singing the abbot gets his dinner;' and then you may at once proceed +on your journey, free and unhindered, with a safe-conduct which I shall +give you, so that if you come across any other bands of mine that I have +scattered in these parts, they may do you no harm; for I have no +intention of doing injury to soldiers, or to any woman, especially one of +quality." + +Profuse and hearty were the expressions of gratitude with which the +captains thanked Roque for his courtesy and generosity; for such they +regarded his leaving them their own money. Senora Dona Guiomar de +Quinones wanted to throw herself out of the coach to kiss the feet and +hands of the great Roque, but he would not suffer it on any account; so +far from that, he begged her pardon for the wrong he had done her under +pressure of the inexorable necessities of his unfortunate calling. The +regent's lady ordered one of her servants to give the eighty crowns that +had been assessed as her share at once, for the captains had already paid +down their sixty. The pilgrims were about to give up the whole of their +little hoard, but Roque bade them keep quiet, and turning to his men he +said, "Of these crowns two fall to each man and twenty remain over; let +ten be given to these pilgrims, and the other ten to this worthy squire +that he may be able to speak favourably of this adventure;" and then +having writing materials, with which he always went provided, brought to +him, he gave them in writing a safe-conduct to the leaders of his bands; +and bidding them farewell let them go free and filled with admiration at +his magnanimity, his generous disposition, and his unusual conduct, and +inclined to regard him as an Alexander the Great rather than a notorious +robber. + +One of the squires observed in his mixture of Gascon and Catalan, "This +captain of ours would make a better friar than highwayman; if he wants to +be so generous another time, let it be with his own property and not +ours." + +The unlucky wight did not speak so low but that Roque overheard him, and +drawing his sword almost split his head in two, saying, "That is the way +I punish impudent saucy fellows." They were all taken aback, and not one +of them dared to utter a word, such deference did they pay him. Roque +then withdrew to one side and wrote a letter to a friend of his at +Barcelona, telling him that the famous Don Quixote of La Mancha, the +knight-errant of whom there was so much talk, was with him, and was, he +assured him, the drollest and wisest man in the world; and that in four +days from that date, that is to say, on Saint John the Baptist's Day, he +was going to deposit him in full armour mounted on his horse Rocinante, +together with his squire Sancho on an ass, in the middle of the strand of +the city; and bidding him give notice of this to his friends the Niarros, +that they might divert themselves with him. He wished, he said, his +enemies the Cadells could be deprived of this pleasure; but that was +impossible, because the crazes and shrewd sayings of Don Quixote and the +humours of his squire Sancho Panza could not help giving general pleasure +to all the world. He despatched the letter by one of his squires, who, +exchanging the costume of a highwayman for that of a peasant, made his +way into Barcelona and gave it to the person to whom it was directed. + +Chapter LXI. - +Of what happened Don Quixote on entering Barcelona, together with other +matters that partake of the true rather than of the ingenious + +Don Quixote passed three days and three nights with Roque, and had he +passed three hundred years he would have found enough to observe and +wonder at in his mode of life. At daybreak they were in one spot, at +dinner-time in another; sometimes they fled without knowing from whom, at +other times they lay in wait, not knowing for what. They slept standing, +breaking their slumbers to shift from place to place. There was nothing +but sending out spies and scouts, posting sentinels and blowing the +matches of harquebusses, though they carried but few, for almost all used +flintlocks. Roque passed his nights in some place or other apart from his +men, that they might not know where he was, for the many proclamations +the viceroy of Barcelona had issued against his life kept him in fear and +uneasiness, and he did not venture to trust anyone, afraid that even his +own men would kill him or deliver him up to the authorities; of a truth, +a weary miserable life! At length, by unfrequented roads, short cuts, and +secret paths, Roque, Don Quixote, and Sancho, together with six squires, +set out for Barcelona. They reached the strand on Saint John's Eve during +the night; and Roque, after embracing Don Quixote and Sancho (to whom he +presented the ten crowns he had promised but had not until then given), +left them with many expressions of good-will on both sides. + +Roque went back, while Don Quixote remained on horseback, just as he was, +waiting for day, and it was not long before the countenance of the fair +Aurora began to show itself at the balconies of the east, gladdening the +grass and flowers, if not the ear, though to gladden that too there came +at the same moment a sound of clarions and drums, and a din of bells, and +a tramp, tramp, and cries of "Clear the way there!" of some runners, that +seemed to issue from the city. + +The dawn made way for the sun that with a face broader than a buckler +began to rise slowly above the low line of the horizon; Don Quixote and +Sancho gazed all round them; they beheld the sea, a sight until then +unseen by them; it struck them as exceedingly spacious and broad, much +more so than the lakes of Ruidera which they had seen in La Mancha. They +saw the galleys along the beach, which, lowering their awnings, displayed +themselves decked with streamers and pennons that trembled in the breeze +and kissed and swept the water, while on board the bugles, trumpets, and +clarions were sounding and filling the air far and near with melodious +warlike notes. Then they began to move and execute a kind of skirmish +upon the calm water, while a vast number of horsemen on fine horses and +in showy liveries, issuing from the city, engaged on their side in a +somewhat similar movement. The soldiers on board the galleys kept up a +ceaseless fire, which they on the walls and forts of the city returned, +and the heavy cannon rent the air with the tremendous noise they made, to +which the gangway guns of the galleys replied. The bright sea, the +smiling earth, the clear air--though at times darkened by the smoke of +the guns--all seemed to fill the whole multitude with unexpected delight. +Sancho could not make out how it was that those great masses that moved +over the sea had so many feet. + +And now the horsemen in livery came galloping up with shouts and +outlandish cries and cheers to where Don Quixote stood amazed and +wondering; and one of them, he to whom Roque had sent word, addressing +him exclaimed, "Welcome to our city, mirror, beacon, star and cynosure of +all knight-errantry in its widest extent! Welcome, I say, valiant Don +Quixote of La Mancha; not the false, the fictitious, the apocryphal, that +these latter days have offered us in lying histories, but the true, the +legitimate, the real one that Cide Hamete Benengeli, flower of +historians, has described to us!" + +Don Quixote made no answer, nor did the horsemen wait for one, but +wheeling again with all their followers, they began curvetting round Don +Quixote, who, turning to Sancho, said, "These gentlemen have plainly +recognised us; I will wager they have read our history, and even that +newly printed one by the Aragonese." + +The cavalier who had addressed Don Quixote again approached him and said, +"Come with us, Senor Don Quixote, for we are all of us your servants and +great friends of Roque Guinart's;" to which Don Quixote returned, "If +courtesy breeds courtesy, yours, sir knight, is daughter or very nearly +akin to the great Roque's; carry me where you please; I will have no will +but yours, especially if you deign to employ it in your service." + +The cavalier replied with words no less polite, and then, all closing in +around him, they set out with him for the city, to the music of the +clarions and the drums. As they were entering it, the wicked one, who is +the author of all mischief, and the boys who are wickeder than the wicked +one, contrived that a couple of these audacious irrepressible urchins +should force their way through the crowd, and lifting up, one of them +Dapple's tail and the other Rocinante's, insert a bunch of furze under +each. The poor beasts felt the strange spurs and added to their anguish +by pressing their tails tight, so much so that, cutting a multitude of +capers, they flung their masters to the ground. Don Quixote, covered with +shame and out of countenance, ran to pluck the plume from his poor jade's +tail, while Sancho did the same for Dapple. His conductors tried to +punish the audacity of the boys, but there was no possibility of doing +so, for they hid themselves among the hundreds of others that were +following them. Don Quixote and Sancho mounted once more, and with the +same music and acclamations reached their conductor's house, which was +large and stately, that of a rich gentleman, in short; and there for the +present we will leave them, for such is Cide Hamete's pleasure. + +Chapter LXII. - +Which deals with the adventure of the enchanted head, together with other +trivial matters which cannot be left untold + +Don Quixote's host was one Don Antonio Moreno by name, a gentleman of +wealth and intelligence, and very fond of diverting himself in any fair +and good-natured way; and having Don Quixote in his house he set about +devising modes of making him exhibit his mad points in some harmless +fashion; for jests that give pain are no jests, and no sport is worth +anything if it hurts another. The first thing he did was to make Don +Quixote take off his armour, and lead him, in that tight chamois suit we +have already described and depicted more than once, out on a balcony +overhanging one of the chief streets of the city, in full view of the +crowd and of the boys, who gazed at him as they would at a monkey. The +cavaliers in livery careered before him again as though it were for him +alone, and not to enliven the festival of the day, that they wore it, and +Sancho was in high delight, for it seemed to him that, how he knew not, +he had fallen upon another Camacho's wedding, another house like Don +Diego de Miranda's, another castle like the duke's. Some of Don Antonio's +friends dined with him that day, and all showed honour to Don Quixote and +treated him as a knight-errant, and he becoming puffed up and exalted in +consequence could not contain himself for satisfaction. Such were the +drolleries of Sancho that all the servants of the house, and all who +heard him, were kept hanging upon his lips. While at table Don Antonio +said to him, "We hear, worthy Sancho, that you are so fond of manjar +blanco and forced-meat balls, that if you have any left, you keep them in +your bosom for the next day." + +"No, senor, that's not true," said Sancho, "for I am more cleanly than +greedy, and my master Don Quixote here knows well that we two are used to +live for a week on a handful of acorns or nuts. To be sure, if it so +happens that they offer me a heifer, I run with a halter; I mean, I eat +what I'm given, and make use of opportunities as I find them; but whoever +says that I'm an out-of-the-way eater or not cleanly, let me tell him +that he is wrong; and I'd put it in a different way if I did not respect +the honourable beards that are at the table." + +"Indeed," said Don Quixote, "Sancho's moderation and cleanliness in +eating might be inscribed and graved on plates of brass, to be kept in +eternal remembrance in ages to come. It is true that when he is hungry +there is a certain appearance of voracity about him, for he eats at a +great pace and chews with both jaws; but cleanliness he is always mindful +of; and when he was governor he learned how to eat daintily, so much so +that he eats grapes, and even pomegranate pips, with a fork." + +"What!" said Don Antonio, "has Sancho been a governor?" + +"Ay," said Sancho, "and of an island called Barataria. I governed it to +perfection for ten days; and lost my rest all the time; and learned to +look down upon all the governments in the world; I got out of it by +taking to flight, and fell into a pit where I gave myself up for dead, +and out of which I escaped alive by a miracle." + +Don Quixote then gave them a minute account of the whole affair of +Sancho's government, with which he greatly amused his hearers. + +On the cloth being removed Don Antonio, taking Don Quixote by the hand, +passed with him into a distant room in which there was nothing in the way +of furniture except a table, apparently of jasper, resting on a pedestal +of the same, upon which was set up, after the fashion of the busts of the +Roman emperors, a head which seemed to be of bronze. Don Antonio +traversed the whole apartment with Don Quixote and walked round the table +several times, and then said, "Now, Senor Don Quixote, that I am +satisfied that no one is listening to us, and that the door is shut, I +will tell you of one of the rarest adventures, or more properly speaking +strange things, that can be imagined, on condition that you will keep +what I say to you in the remotest recesses of secrecy." + +"I swear it," said Don Quixote, "and for greater security I will put a +flag-stone over it; for I would have you know, Senor Don Antonio" (he had +by this time learned his name), "that you are addressing one who, though +he has ears to hear, has no tongue to speak; so that you may safely +transfer whatever you have in your bosom into mine, and rely upon it that +you have consigned it to the depths of silence." + +"In reliance upon that promise," said Don Antonio, "I will astonish you +with what you shall see and hear, and relieve myself of some of the +vexation it gives me to have no one to whom I can confide my secrets, for +they are not of a sort to be entrusted to everybody." + +Don Quixote was puzzled, wondering what could be the object of such +precautions; whereupon Don Antonio taking his hand passed it over the +bronze head and the whole table and the pedestal of jasper on which it +stood, and then said, "This head, Senor Don Quixote, has been made and +fabricated by one of the greatest magicians and wizards the world ever +saw, a Pole, I believe, by birth, and a pupil of the famous Escotillo of +whom such marvellous stories are told. He was here in my house, and for a +consideration of a thousand crowns that I gave him he constructed this +head, which has the property and virtue of answering whatever questions +are put to its ear. He observed the points of the compass, he traced +figures, he studied the stars, he watched favourable moments, and at +length brought it to the perfection we shall see to-morrow, for on +Fridays it is mute, and this being Friday we must wait till the next day. +In the interval your worship may consider what you would like to ask it; +and I know by experience that in all its answers it tells the truth." + +Don Quixote was amazed at the virtue and property of the head, and was +inclined to disbelieve Don Antonio; but seeing what a short time he had +to wait to test the matter, he did not choose to say anything except that +he thanked him for having revealed to him so mighty a secret. They then +quitted the room, Don Antonio locked the door, and they repaired to the +chamber where the rest of the gentlemen were assembled. In the meantime +Sancho had recounted to them several of the adventures and accidents that +had happened his master. + +That afternoon they took Don Quixote out for a stroll, not in his armour +but in street costume, with a surcoat of tawny cloth upon him, that at +that season would have made ice itself sweat. Orders were left with the +servants to entertain Sancho so as not to let him leave the house. Don +Quixote was mounted, not on Rocinante, but upon a tall mule of easy pace +and handsomely caparisoned. They put the surcoat on him, and on the back, +without his perceiving it, they stitched a parchment on which they wrote +in large letters, "This is Don Quixote of La Mancha." As they set out +upon their excursion the placard attracted the eyes of all who chanced to +see him, and as they read out, "This is Don Quixote of La Mancha," Don +Quixote was amazed to see how many people gazed at him, called him by his +name, and recognised him, and turning to Don Antonio, who rode at his +side, he observed to him, "Great are the privileges knight-errantry +involves, for it makes him who professes it known and famous in every +region of the earth; see, Don Antonio, even the very boys of this city +know me without ever having seen me." + +"True, Senor Don Quixote," returned Don Antonio; "for as fire cannot be +hidden or kept secret, virtue cannot escape being recognised; and that +which is attained by the profession of arms shines distinguished above +all others." + +It came to pass, however, that as Don Quixote was proceeding amid the +acclamations that have been described, a Castilian, reading the +inscription on his back, cried out in a loud voice, "The devil take thee +for a Don Quixote of La Mancha! What! art thou here, and not dead of the +countless drubbings that have fallen on thy ribs? Thou art mad; and if +thou wert so by thyself, and kept thyself within thy madness, it would +not be so bad; but thou hast the gift of making fools and blockheads of +all who have anything to do with thee or say to thee. Why, look at these +gentlemen bearing thee company! Get thee home, blockhead, and see after +thy affairs, and thy wife and children, and give over these fooleries +that are sapping thy brains and skimming away thy wits." + +"Go your own way, brother," said Don Antonio, "and don't offer advice to +those who don't ask you for it. Senor Don Quixote is in his full senses, +and we who bear him company are not fools; virtue is to be honoured +wherever it may be found; go, and bad luck to you, and don't meddle where +you are not wanted." + +"By God, your worship is right," replied the Castilian; "for to advise +this good man is to kick against the pricks; still for all that it fills +me with pity that the sound wit they say the blockhead has in everything +should dribble away by the channel of his knight-errantry; but may the +bad luck your worship talks of follow me and all my descendants, if, from +this day forth, though I should live longer than Methuselah, I ever give +advice to anybody even if he asks me for it." + +The advice-giver took himself off, and they continued their stroll; but +so great was the press of the boys and people to read the placard, that +Don Antonio was forced to remove it as if he were taking off something +else. + +Night came and they went home, and there was a ladies' dancing party, for +Don Antonio's wife, a lady of rank and gaiety, beauty and wit, had +invited some friends of hers to come and do honour to her guest and amuse +themselves with his strange delusions. Several of them came, they supped +sumptuously, the dance began at about ten o'clock. Among the ladies were +two of a mischievous and frolicsome turn, and, though perfectly modest, +somewhat free in playing tricks for harmless diversion sake. These two +were so indefatigable in taking Don Quixote out to dance that they tired +him down, not only in body but in spirit. It was a sight to see the +figure Don Quixote made, long, lank, lean, and yellow, his garments +clinging tight to him, ungainly, and above all anything but agile. + +The gay ladies made secret love to him, and he on his part secretly +repelled them, but finding himself hard pressed by their blandishments he +lifted up his voice and exclaimed, "Fugite, partes adversae! Leave me in +peace, unwelcome overtures; avaunt, with your desires, ladies, for she +who is queen of mine, the peerless Dulcinea del Toboso, suffers none but +hers to lead me captive and subdue me;" and so saying he sat down on the +floor in the middle of the room, tired out and broken down by all this +exertion in the dance. + +Don Antonio directed him to be taken up bodily and carried to bed, and +the first that laid hold of him was Sancho, saying as he did so, "In an +evil hour you took to dancing, master mine; do you fancy all mighty men +of valour are dancers, and all knights-errant given to capering? If you +do, I can tell you you are mistaken; there's many a man would rather +undertake to kill a giant than cut a caper. If it had been the shoe-fling +you were at I could take your place, for I can do the shoe-fling like a +gerfalcon; but I'm no good at dancing." + +With these and other observations Sancho set the whole ball-room +laughing, and then put his master to bed, covering him up well so that he +might sweat out any chill caught after his dancing. + +The next day Don Antonio thought he might as well make trial of the +enchanted head, and with Don Quixote, Sancho, and two others, friends of +his, besides the two ladies that had tired out Don Quixote at the ball, +who had remained for the night with Don Antonio's wife, he locked himself +up in the chamber where the head was. He explained to them the property +it possessed and entrusted the secret to them, telling them that now for +the first time he was going to try the virtue of the enchanted head; but +except Don Antonio's two friends no one else was privy to the mystery of +the enchantment, and if Don Antonio had not first revealed it to them +they would have been inevitably reduced to the same state of amazement as +the rest, so artfully and skilfully was it contrived. + +The first to approach the ear of the head was Don Antonio himself, and in +a low voice but not so low as not to be audible to all, he said to it, +"Head, tell me by the virtue that lies in thee what am I at this moment +thinking of?" + +The head, without any movement of the lips, answered in a clear and +distinct voice, so as to be heard by all, "I cannot judge of thoughts." + +All were thunderstruck at this, and all the more so as they saw that +there was nobody anywhere near the table or in the whole room that could +have answered. "How many of us are here?" asked Don Antonio once more; +and it was answered him in the same way softly, "Thou and thy wife, with +two friends of thine and two of hers, and a famous knight called Don +Quixote of La Mancha, and a squire of his, Sancho Panza by name." + +Now there was fresh astonishment; now everyone's hair was standing on end +with awe; and Don Antonio retiring from the head exclaimed, "This +suffices to show me that I have not been deceived by him who sold thee to +me, O sage head, talking head, answering head, wonderful head! Let some +one else go and put what question he likes to it." + +And as women are commonly impulsive and inquisitive, the first to come +forward was one of the two friends of Don Antonio's wife, and her +question was, "Tell me, Head, what shall I do to be very beautiful?" and +the answer she got was, "Be very modest." + +"I question thee no further," said the fair querist. + +Her companion then came up and said, "I should like to know, Head, +whether my husband loves me or not;" the answer given to her was, "Think +how he uses thee, and thou mayest guess;" and the married lady went off +saying, "That answer did not need a question; for of course the treatment +one receives shows the disposition of him from whom it is received." + +Then one of Don Antonio's two friends advanced and asked it, "Who am I?" +"Thou knowest," was the answer. "That is not what I ask thee," said the +gentleman, "but to tell me if thou knowest me." "Yes, I know thee, thou +art Don Pedro Noriz," was the reply. + +"I do not seek to know more," said the gentleman, "for this is enough to +convince me, O Head, that thou knowest everything;" and as he retired the +other friend came forward and asked it, "Tell me, Head, what are the +wishes of my eldest son?" + +"I have said already," was the answer, "that I cannot judge of wishes; +however, I can tell thee the wish of thy son is to bury thee." + +"That's 'what I see with my eyes I point out with my finger,'" said the +gentleman, "so I ask no more." + +Don Antonio's wife came up and said, "I know not what to ask thee, Head; +I would only seek to know of thee if I shall have many years of enjoyment +of my good husband;" and the answer she received was, "Thou shalt, for +his vigour and his temperate habits promise many years of life, which by +their intemperance others so often cut short." + +Then Don Quixote came forward and said, "Tell me, thou that answerest, +was that which I describe as having happened to me in the cave of +Montesinos the truth or a dream? Will Sancho's whipping be accomplished +without fail? Will the disenchantment of Dulcinea be brought about?" + +"As to the question of the cave," was the reply, "there is much to be +said; there is something of both in it. Sancho's whipping will proceed +leisurely. The disenchantment of Dulcinea will attain its due +consummation." + +"I seek to know no more," said Don Quixote; "let me but see Dulcinea +disenchanted, and I will consider that all the good fortune I could wish +for has come upon me all at once." + +The last questioner was Sancho, and his questions were, "Head, shall I by +any chance have another government? Shall I ever escape from the hard +life of a squire? Shall I get back to see my wife and children?" To which +the answer came, "Thou shalt govern in thy house; and if thou returnest +to it thou shalt see thy wife and children; and on ceasing to serve thou +shalt cease to be a squire." + +"Good, by God!" said Sancho Panza; "I could have told myself that; the +prophet Perogrullo could have said no more." + +"What answer wouldst thou have, beast?" said Don Quixote; "is it not +enough that the replies this head has given suit the questions put to +it?" + +"Yes, it is enough," said Sancho; "but I should have liked it to have +made itself plainer and told me more." + +The questions and answers came to an end here, but not the wonder with +which all were filled, except Don Antonio's two friends who were in the +secret. This Cide Hamete Benengeli thought fit to reveal at once, not to +keep the world in suspense, fancying that the head had some strange +magical mystery in it. He says, therefore, that on the model of another +head, the work of an image maker, which he had seen at Madrid, Don +Antonio made this one at home for his own amusement and to astonish +ignorant people; and its mechanism was as follows. The table was of wood +painted and varnished to imitate jasper, and the pedestal on which it +stood was of the same material, with four eagles' claws projecting from +it to support the weight more steadily. The head, which resembled a bust +or figure of a Roman emperor, and was coloured like bronze, was hollow +throughout, as was the table, into which it was fitted so exactly that no +trace of the joining was visible. The pedestal of the table was also +hollow and communicated with the throat and neck of the head, and the +whole was in communication with another room underneath the chamber in +which the head stood. Through the entire cavity in the pedestal, table, +throat and neck of the bust or figure, there passed a tube of tin +carefully adjusted and concealed from sight. In the room below +corresponding to the one above was placed the person who was to answer, +with his mouth to the tube, and the voice, as in an ear-trumpet, passed +from above downwards, and from below upwards, the words coming clearly +and distinctly; it was impossible, thus, to detect the trick. A nephew of +Don Antonio's, a smart sharp-witted student, was the answerer, and as he +had been told beforehand by his uncle who the persons were that would +come with him that day into the chamber where the head was, it was an +easy matter for him to answer the first question at once and correctly; +the others he answered by guess-work, and, being clever, cleverly. Cide +Hamete adds that this marvellous contrivance stood for some ten or twelve +days; but that, as it became noised abroad through the city that he had +in his house an enchanted head that answered all who asked questions of +it, Don Antonio, fearing it might come to the ears of the watchful +sentinels of our faith, explained the matter to the inquisitors, who +commanded him to break it up and have done with it, lest the ignorant +vulgar should be scandalised. By Don Quixote, however, and by Sancho the +head was still held to be an enchanted one, and capable of answering +questions, though more to Don Quixote's satisfaction than Sancho's. + +The gentlemen of the city, to gratify Don Antonio and also to do the +honours to Don Quixote, and give him an opportunity of displaying his +folly, made arrangements for a tilting at the ring in six days from that +time, which, however, for reason that will be mentioned hereafter, did +not take place. + +Don Quixote took a fancy to stroll about the city quietly and on foot, +for he feared that if he went on horseback the boys would follow him; so +he and Sancho and two servants that Don Antonio gave him set out for a +walk. Thus it came to pass that going along one of the streets Don +Quixote lifted up his eyes and saw written in very large letters over a +door, "Books printed here," at which he was vastly pleased, for until +then he had never seen a printing office, and he was curious to know what +it was like. He entered with all his following, and saw them drawing +sheets in one place, correcting in another, setting up type here, +revising there; in short all the work that is to be seen in great +printing offices. He went up to one case and asked what they were about +there; the workmen told him, he watched them with wonder, and passed on. +He approached one man, among others, and asked him what he was doing. The +workman replied, "Senor, this gentleman here" (pointing to a man of +prepossessing appearance and a certain gravity of look) "has translated +an Italian book into our Spanish tongue, and I am setting it up in type +for the press." + +"What is the title of the book?" asked Don Quixote; to which the author +replied, "Senor, in Italian the book is called Le Bagatelle." + +"And what does Le Bagatelle import in our Spanish?" asked Don Quixote. + +"Le Bagatelle," said the author, "is as though we should say in Spanish +Los Juguetes; but though the book is humble in name it has good solid +matter in it." + +"I," said Don Quixote, "have some little smattering of Italian, and I +plume myself on singing some of Ariosto's stanzas; but tell me, senor--I +do not say this to test your ability, but merely out of curiosity--have +you ever met with the word pignatta in your book?" + +"Yes, often," said the author. + +"And how do you render that in Spanish?" + +"How should I render it," returned the author, "but by olla?" + +"Body o' me," exclaimed Don Quixote, "what a proficient you are in the +Italian language! I would lay a good wager that where they say in Italian +piace you say in Spanish place, and where they say piu you say mas, and +you translate su by arriba and giu by abajo." + +"I translate them so of course," said the author, "for those are their +proper equivalents." + +"I would venture to swear," said Don Quixote, "that your worship is not +known in the world, which always begrudges their reward to rare wits and +praiseworthy labours. What talents lie wasted there! What genius thrust +away into corners! What worth left neglected! Still it seems to me that +translation from one language into another, if it be not from the queens +of languages, the Greek and the Latin, is like looking at Flemish +tapestries on the wrong side; for though the figures are visible, they +are full of threads that make them indistinct, and they do not show with +the smoothness and brightness of the right side; and translation from +easy languages argues neither ingenuity nor command of words, any more +than transcribing or copying out one document from another. But I do not +mean by this to draw the inference that no credit is to be allowed for +the work of translating, for a man may employ himself in ways worse and +less profitable to himself. This estimate does not include two famous +translators, Doctor Cristobal de Figueroa, in his Pastor Fido, and Don +Juan de Jauregui, in his Aminta, wherein by their felicity they leave it +in doubt which is the translation and which the original. But tell me, +are you printing this book at your own risk, or have you sold the +copyright to some bookseller?" + +"I print at my own risk," said the author, "and I expect to make a +thousand ducats at least by this first edition, which is to be of two +thousand copies that will go off in a twinkling at six reals apiece." + +"A fine calculation you are making!" said Don Quixote; "it is plain you +don't know the ins and outs of the printers, and how they play into one +another's hands. I promise you when you find yourself saddled with two +thousand copies you will feel so sore that it will astonish you, +particularly if the book is a little out of the common and not in any way +highly spiced." + +"What!" said the author, "would your worship, then, have me give it to a +bookseller who will give three maravedis for the copyright and think he +is doing me a favour? I do not print my books to win fame in the world, +for I am known in it already by my works; I want to make money, without +which reputation is not worth a rap." + +"God send your worship good luck," said Don Quixote; and he moved on to +another case, where he saw them correcting a sheet of a book with the +title of "Light of the Soul;" noticing it he observed, "Books like this, +though there are many of the kind, are the ones that deserve to be +printed, for many are the sinners in these days, and lights unnumbered +are needed for all that are in darkness." + +He passed on, and saw they were also correcting another book, and when he +asked its title they told him it was called, "The Second Part of the +Ingenious Gentleman Don Quixote of La Mancha," by one of Tordesillas. + +"I have heard of this book already," said Don Quixote, "and verily and on +my conscience I thought it had been by this time burned to ashes as a +meddlesome intruder; but its Martinmas will come to it as it does to +every pig; for fictions have the more merit and charm about them the more +nearly they approach the truth or what looks like it; and true stories, +the truer they are the better they are;" and so saying he walked out of +the printing office with a certain amount of displeasure in his looks. +That same day Don Antonio arranged to take him to see the galleys that +lay at the beach, whereat Sancho was in high delight, as he had never +seen any all his life. Don Antonio sent word to the commandant of the +galleys that he intended to bring his guest, the famous Don Quixote of La +Mancha, of whom the commandant and all the citizens had already heard, +that afternoon to see them; and what happened on board of them will be +told in the next chapter. + +Chapter LXIII. - +Of the mishap that befell Sancho Panza through the visit to the galleys, +and the strange adventure of the fair Morisco + +Profound were Don Quixote's reflections on the reply of the enchanted +head, not one of them, however, hitting on the secret of the trick, but +all concentrated on the promise, which he regarded as a certainty, of +Dulcinea's disenchantment. This he turned over in his mind again and +again with great satisfaction, fully persuaded that he would shortly see +its fulfillment; and as for Sancho, though, as has been said, he hated +being a governor, still he had a longing to be giving orders and finding +himself obeyed once more; this is the misfortune that being in authority, +even in jest, brings with it. + +To resume; that afternoon their host Don Antonio Moreno and his two +friends, with Don Quixote and Sancho, went to the galleys. The commandant +had been already made aware of his good fortune in seeing two such famous +persons as Don Quixote and Sancho, and the instant they came to the shore +all the galleys struck their awnings and the clarions rang out. A skiff +covered with rich carpets and cushions of crimson velvet was immediately +lowered into the water, and as Don Quixote stepped on board of it, the +leading galley fired her gangway gun, and the other galleys did the same; +and as he mounted the starboard ladder the whole crew saluted him (as is +the custom when a personage of distinction comes on board a galley) by +exclaiming "Hu, hu, hu," three times. The general, for so we shall call +him, a Valencian gentleman of rank, gave him his hand and embraced him, +saying, "I shall mark this day with a white stone as one of the happiest +I can expect to enjoy in my lifetime, since I have seen Senor Don Quixote +of La Mancha, pattern and image wherein we see contained and condensed +all that is worthy in knight-errantry." + +Don Quixote delighted beyond measure with such a lordly reception, +replied to him in words no less courteous. All then proceeded to the +poop, which was very handsomely decorated, and seated themselves on the +bulwark benches; the boatswain passed along the gangway and piped all +hands to strip, which they did in an instant. Sancho, seeing such a +number of men stripped to the skin, was taken aback, and still more when +he saw them spread the awning so briskly that it seemed to him as if all +the devils were at work at it; but all this was cakes and fancy bread to +what I am going to tell now. Sancho was seated on the captain's stage, +close to the aftermost rower on the right-hand side. He, previously +instructed in what he was to do, laid hold of Sancho, hoisting him up in +his arms, and the whole crew, who were standing ready, beginning on the +right, proceeded to pass him on, whirling him along from hand to hand and +from bench to bench with such rapidity that it took the sight out of poor +Sancho's eyes, and he made quite sure that the devils themselves were +flying away with him; nor did they leave off with him until they had sent +him back along the left side and deposited him on the poop; and the poor +fellow was left bruised and breathless and all in a sweat, and unable to +comprehend what it was that had happened to him. + +Don Quixote when he saw Sancho's flight without wings asked the general +if this was a usual ceremony with those who came on board the galleys for +the first time; for, if so, as he had no intention of adopting them as a +profession, he had no mind to perform such feats of agility, and if +anyone offered to lay hold of him to whirl him about, he vowed to God he +would kick his soul out; and as he said this he stood up and clapped his +hand upon his sword. At this instant they struck the awning and lowered +the yard with a prodigious rattle. Sancho thought heaven was coming off +its hinges and going to fall on his head, and full of terror he ducked it +and buried it between his knees; nor were Don Quixote's knees altogether +under control, for he too shook a little, squeezed his shoulders together +and lost colour. The crew then hoisted the yard with the same rapidity +and clatter as when they lowered it, all the while keeping silence as +though they had neither voice nor breath. The boatswain gave the signal +to weigh anchor, and leaping upon the middle of the gangway began to lay +on to the shoulders of the crew with his courbash or whip, and to haul +out gradually to sea. + +When Sancho saw so many red feet (for such he took the oars to be) moving +all together, he said to himself, "It's these that are the real chanted +things, and not the ones my master talks of. What can those wretches have +done to be so whipped; and how does that one man who goes along there +whistling dare to whip so many? I declare this is hell, or at least +purgatory!" + +Don Quixote, observing how attentively Sancho regarded what was going on, +said to him, "Ah, Sancho my friend, how quickly and cheaply might you +finish off the disenchantment of Dulcinea, if you would strip to the +waist and take your place among those gentlemen! Amid the pain and +sufferings of so many you would not feel your own much; and moreover +perhaps the sage Merlin would allow each of these lashes, being laid on +with a good hand, to count for ten of those which you must give yourself +at last." + +The general was about to ask what these lashes were, and what was +Dulcinea's disenchantment, when a sailor exclaimed, "Monjui signals that +there is an oared vessel off the coast to the west." + +On hearing this the general sprang upon the gangway crying, "Now then, my +sons, don't let her give us the slip! It must be some Algerine corsair +brigantine that the watchtower signals to us." The three others +immediately came alongside the chief galley to receive their orders. The +general ordered two to put out to sea while he with the other kept in +shore, so that in this way the vessel could not escape them. The crews +plied the oars driving the galleys so furiously that they seemed to fly. +The two that had put out to sea, after a couple of miles sighted a vessel +which, so far as they could make out, they judged to be one of fourteen +or fifteen banks, and so she proved. As soon as the vessel discovered the +galleys she went about with the object and in the hope of making her +escape by her speed; but the attempt failed, for the chief galley was one +of the fastest vessels afloat, and overhauled her so rapidly that they on +board the brigantine saw clearly there was no possibility of escaping, +and the rais therefore would have had them drop their oars and give +themselves up so as not to provoke the captain in command of our galleys +to anger. But chance, directing things otherwise, so ordered it that just +as the chief galley came close enough for those on board the vessel to +hear the shouts from her calling on them to surrender, two Toraquis, that +is to say two Turks, both drunken, that with a dozen more were on board +the brigantine, discharged their muskets, killing two of the soldiers +that lined the sides of our vessel. Seeing this the general swore he +would not leave one of those he found on board the vessel alive, but as +he bore down furiously upon her she slipped away from him underneath the +oars. The galley shot a good way ahead; those on board the vessel saw +their case was desperate, and while the galley was coming about they made +sail, and by sailing and rowing once more tried to sheer off; but their +activity did not do them as much good as their rashness did them harm, +for the galley coming up with them in a little more than half a mile +threw her oars over them and took the whole of them alive. The other two +galleys now joined company and all four returned with the prize to the +beach, where a vast multitude stood waiting for them, eager to see what +they brought back. The general anchored close in, and perceived that the +viceroy of the city was on the shore. He ordered the skiff to push off to +fetch him, and the yard to be lowered for the purpose of hanging +forthwith the rais and the rest of the men taken on board the vessel, +about six-and-thirty in number, all smart fellows and most of them +Turkish musketeers. He asked which was the rais of the brigantine, and +was answered in Spanish by one of the prisoners (who afterwards proved to +be a Spanish renegade), "This young man, senor that you see here is our +rais," and he pointed to one of the handsomest and most gallant-looking +youths that could be imagined. He did not seem to be twenty years of age. + +"Tell me, dog," said the general, "what led thee to kill my soldiers, +when thou sawest it was impossible for thee to escape? Is that the way to +behave to chief galleys? Knowest thou not that rashness is not valour? +Faint prospects of success should make men bold, but not rash." + +The rais was about to reply, but the general could not at that moment +listen to him, as he had to hasten to receive the viceroy, who was now +coming on board the galley, and with him certain of his attendants and +some of the people. + +"You have had a good chase, senor general," said the viceroy. + +"Your excellency shall soon see how good, by the game strung up to this +yard," replied the general. + +"How so?" returned the viceroy. + +"Because," said the general, "against all law, reason, and usages of war +they have killed on my hands two of the best soldiers on board these +galleys, and I have sworn to hang every man that I have taken, but above +all this youth who is the rais of the brigantine," and he pointed to him +as he stood with his hands already bound and the rope round his neck, +ready for death. + +The viceroy looked at him, and seeing him so well-favoured, so graceful, +and so submissive, he felt a desire to spare his life, the comeliness of +the youth furnishing him at once with a letter of recommendation. He +therefore questioned him, saying, "Tell me, rais, art thou Turk, Moor, or +renegade?" + +To which the youth replied, also in Spanish, "I am neither Turk, nor +Moor, nor renegade." + +"What art thou, then?" said the viceroy. + +"A Christian woman," replied the youth. + +"A woman and a Christian, in such a dress and in such circumstances! It +is more marvellous than credible," said the viceroy. + +"Suspend the execution of the sentence," said the youth; "your vengeance +will not lose much by waiting while I tell you the story of my life." + +What heart could be so hard as not to be softened by these words, at any +rate so far as to listen to what the unhappy youth had to say? The +general bade him say what he pleased, but not to expect pardon for his +flagrant offence. With this permission the youth began in these words. + +"Born of Morisco parents, I am of that nation, more unhappy than wise, +upon which of late a sea of woes has poured down. In the course of our +misfortune I was carried to Barbary by two uncles of mine, for it was in +vain that I declared I was a Christian, as in fact I am, and not a mere +pretended one, or outwardly, but a true Catholic Christian. It availed me +nothing with those charged with our sad expatriation to protest this, nor +would my uncles believe it; on the contrary, they treated it as an +untruth and a subterfuge set up to enable me to remain behind in the land +of my birth; and so, more by force than of my own will, they took me with +them. I had a Christian mother, and a father who was a man of sound sense +and a Christian too; I imbibed the Catholic faith with my mother's milk, +I was well brought up, and neither in word nor in deed did I, I think, +show any sign of being a Morisco. To accompany these virtues, for such I +hold them, my beauty, if I possess any, grew with my growth; and great as +was the seclusion in which I lived it was not so great but that a young +gentleman, Don Gaspar Gregorio by name, eldest son of a gentleman who is +lord of a village near ours, contrived to find opportunities of seeing +me. How he saw me, how we met, how his heart was lost to me, and mine not +kept from him, would take too long to tell, especially at a moment when I +am in dread of the cruel cord that threatens me interposing between +tongue and throat; I will only say, therefore, that Don Gregorio chose to +accompany me in our banishment. He joined company with the Moriscoes who +were going forth from other villages, for he knew their language very +well, and on the voyage he struck up a friendship with my two uncles who +were carrying me with them; for my father, like a wise and far-sighted +man, as soon as he heard the first edict for our expulsion, quitted the +village and departed in quest of some refuge for us abroad. He left +hidden and buried, at a spot of which I alone have knowledge, a large +quantity of pearls and precious stones of great value, together with a +sum of money in gold cruzadoes and doubloons. He charged me on no account +to touch the treasure, if by any chance they expelled us before his +return. I obeyed him, and with my uncles, as I have said, and others of +our kindred and neighbours, passed over to Barbary, and the place where +we took up our abode was Algiers, much the same as if we had taken it up +in hell itself. The king heard of my beauty, and report told him of my +wealth, which was in some degree fortunate for me. He summoned me before +him, and asked me what part of Spain I came from, and what money and +jewels I had. I mentioned the place, and told him the jewels and money +were buried there; but that they might easily be recovered if I myself +went back for them. All this I told him, in dread lest my beauty and not +his own covetousness should influence him. While he was engaged in +conversation with me, they brought him word that in company with me was +one of the handsomest and most graceful youths that could be imagined. I +knew at once that they were speaking of Don Gaspar Gregorio, whose +comeliness surpasses the most highly vaunted beauty. I was troubled when +I thought of the danger he was in, for among those barbarous Turks a fair +youth is more esteemed than a woman, be she ever so beautiful. The king +immediately ordered him to be brought before him that he might see him, +and asked me if what they said about the youth was true. I then, almost +as if inspired by heaven, told him it was, but that I would have him to +know it was not a man, but a woman like myself, and I entreated him to +allow me to go and dress her in the attire proper to her, so that her +beauty might be seen to perfection, and that she might present herself +before him with less embarrassment. He bade me go by all means, and said +that the next day we should discuss the plan to be adopted for my return +to Spain to carry away the hidden treasure. I saw Don Gaspar, I told him +the danger he was in if he let it be seen he was a man, I dressed him as +a Moorish woman, and that same afternoon I brought him before the king, +who was charmed when he saw him, and resolved to keep the damsel and make +a present of her to the Grand Signor; and to avoid the risk she might run +among the women of his seraglio, and distrustful of himself, he commanded +her to be placed in the house of some Moorish ladies of rank who would +protect and attend to her; and thither he was taken at once. What we both +suffered (for I cannot deny that I love him) may be left to the +imagination of those who are separated if they love one another dearly. +The king then arranged that I should return to Spain in this brigantine, +and that two Turks, those who killed your soldiers, should accompany me. +There also came with me this Spanish renegade"--and here she pointed to +him who had first spoken--"whom I know to be secretly a Christian, and to +be more desirous of being left in Spain than of returning to Barbary. The +rest of the crew of the brigantine are Moors and Turks, who merely serve +as rowers. The two Turks, greedy and insolent, instead of obeying the +orders we had to land me and this renegade in Christian dress (with which +we came provided) on the first Spanish ground we came to, chose to run +along the coast and make some prize if they could, fearing that if they +put us ashore first, we might, in case of some accident befalling us, +make it known that the brigantine was at sea, and thus, if there happened +to be any galleys on the coast, they might be taken. We sighted this +shore last night, and knowing nothing of these galleys, we were +discovered, and the result was what you have seen. To sum up, there is +Don Gregorio in woman's dress, among women, in imminent danger of his +life; and here am I, with hands bound, in expectation, or rather in +dread, of losing my life, of which I am already weary. Here, sirs, ends +my sad story, as true as it is unhappy; all I ask of you is to allow me +to die like a Christian, for, as I have already said, I am not to be +charged with the offence of which those of my nation are guilty;" and she +stood silent, her eyes filled with moving tears, accompanied by plenty +from the bystanders. The viceroy, touched with compassion, went up to her +without speaking and untied the cord that bound the hands of the Moorish +girl. + +But all the while the Morisco Christian was telling her strange story, an +elderly pilgrim, who had come on board of the galley at the same time as +the viceroy, kept his eyes fixed upon her; and the instant she ceased +speaking he threw himself at her feet, and embracing them said in a voice +broken by sobs and sighs, "O Ana Felix, my unhappy daughter, I am thy +father Ricote, come back to look for thee, unable to live without thee, +my soul that thou art!" + +At these words of his, Sancho opened his eyes and raised his head, which +he had been holding down, brooding over his unlucky excursion; and +looking at the pilgrim he recognised in him that same Ricote he met the +day he quitted his government, and felt satisfied that this was his +daughter. She being now unbound embraced her father, mingling her tears +with his, while he addressing the general and the viceroy said, "This, +sirs, is my daughter, more unhappy in her adventures than in her name. +She is Ana Felix, surnamed Ricote, celebrated as much for her own beauty +as for my wealth. I quitted my native land in search of some shelter or +refuge for us abroad, and having found one in Germany I returned in this +pilgrim's dress, in the company of some other German pilgrims, to seek my +daughter and take up a large quantity of treasure I had left buried. My +daughter I did not find, the treasure I found and have with me; and now, +in this strange roundabout way you have seen, I find the treasure that +more than all makes me rich, my beloved daughter. If our innocence and +her tears and mine can with strict justice open the door to clemency, +extend it to us, for we never had any intention of injuring you, nor do +we sympathise with the aims of our people, who have been justly +banished." + +"I know Ricote well," said Sancho at this, "and I know too that what he +says about Ana Felix being his daughter is true; but as to those other +particulars about going and coming, and having good or bad intentions, I +say nothing." + +While all present stood amazed at this strange occurrence the general +said, "At any rate your tears will not allow me to keep my oath; live, +fair Ana Felix, all the years that heaven has allotted you; but these +rash insolent fellows must pay the penalty of the crime they have +committed;" and with that he gave orders to have the two Turks who had +killed his two soldiers hanged at once at the yard-arm. The viceroy, +however, begged him earnestly not to hang them, as their behaviour +savoured rather of madness than of bravado. The general yielded to the +viceroy's request, for revenge is not easily taken in cold blood. They +then tried to devise some scheme for rescuing Don Gaspar Gregorio from +the danger in which he had been left. Ricote offered for that object more +than two thousand ducats that he had in pearls and gems; they proposed +several plans, but none so good as that suggested by the renegade already +mentioned, who offered to return to Algiers in a small vessel of about +six banks, manned by Christian rowers, as he knew where, how, and when he +could and should land, nor was he ignorant of the house in which Don +Gaspar was staying. The general and the viceroy had some hesitation about +placing confidence in the renegade and entrusting him with the Christians +who were to row, but Ana Felix said she could answer for him, and her +father offered to go and pay the ransom of the Christians if by any +chance they should not be forthcoming. This, then, being agreed upon, the +viceroy landed, and Don Antonio Moreno took the fair Morisco and her +father home with him, the viceroy charging him to give them the best +reception and welcome in his power, while on his own part he offered all +that house contained for their entertainment; so great was the good-will +and kindliness the beauty of Ana Felix had infused into his heart. + +Chapter LXIV. - +Treating of the adventure which gave Don Quixote more unhappiness than +all that had hitherto befallen him + +The wife of Don Antonio Moreno, so the history says, was extremely happy +to see Ana Felix in her house. She welcomed her with great kindness, +charmed as well by her beauty as by her intelligence; for in both +respects the fair Morisco was richly endowed, and all the people of the +city flocked to see her as though they had been summoned by the ringing +of the bells. + +Don Quixote told Don Antonio that the plan adopted for releasing Don +Gregorio was not a good one, for its risks were greater than its +advantages, and that it would be better to land himself with his arms and +horse in Barbary; for he would carry him off in spite of the whole +Moorish host, as Don Gaiferos carried off his wife Melisendra. + +"Remember, your worship," observed Sancho on hearing him say so, "Senor +Don Gaiferos carried off his wife from the mainland, and took her to +France by land; but in this case, if by chance we carry off Don Gregorio, +we have no way of bringing him to Spain, for there's the sea between." + +"There's a remedy for everything except death," said Don Quixote; "if +they bring the vessel close to the shore we shall be able to get on board +though all the world strive to prevent us." + +"Your worship hits it off mighty well and mighty easy," said Sancho; "but +'it's a long step from saying to doing;' and I hold to the renegade, for +he seems to me an honest good-hearted fellow." + +Don Antonio then said that if the renegade did not prove successful, the +expedient of the great Don Quixote's expedition to Barbary should be +adopted. Two days afterwards the renegade put to sea in a light vessel of +six oars a-side manned by a stout crew, and two days later the galleys +made sail eastward, the general having begged the viceroy to let him know +all about the release of Don Gregorio and about Ana Felix, and the +viceroy promised to do as he requested. + +One morning as Don Quixote went out for a stroll along the beach, arrayed +in full armour (for, as he often said, that was "his only gear, his only +rest the fray," and he never was without it for a moment), he saw coming +towards him a knight, also in full armour, with a shining moon painted on +his shield, who, on approaching sufficiently near to be heard, said in a +loud voice, addressing himself to Don Quixote, "Illustrious knight, and +never sufficiently extolled Don Quixote of La Mancha, I am the Knight of +the White Moon, whose unheard-of achievements will perhaps have recalled +him to thy memory. I come to do battle with thee and prove the might of +thy arm, to the end that I make thee acknowledge and confess that my +lady, let her be who she may, is incomparably fairer than thy Dulcinea +del Toboso. If thou dost acknowledge this fairly and openly, thou shalt +escape death and save me the trouble of inflicting it upon thee; if thou +fightest and I vanquish thee, I demand no other satisfaction than that, +laying aside arms and abstaining from going in quest of adventures, thou +withdraw and betake thyself to thine own village for the space of a year, +and live there without putting hand to sword, in peace and quiet and +beneficial repose, the same being needful for the increase of thy +substance and the salvation of thy soul; and if thou dost vanquish me, my +head shall be at thy disposal, my arms and horse thy spoils, and the +renown of my deeds transferred and added to thine. Consider which will be +thy best course, and give me thy answer speedily, for this day is all the +time I have for the despatch of this business." + +Don Quixote was amazed and astonished, as well at the Knight of the White +Moon's arrogance, as at his reason for delivering the defiance, and with +calm dignity he answered him, "Knight of the White Moon, of whose +achievements I have never heard until now, I will venture to swear you +have never seen the illustrious Dulcinea; for had you seen her I know you +would have taken care not to venture yourself upon this issue, because +the sight would have removed all doubt from your mind that there ever has +been or can be a beauty to be compared with hers; and so, not saying you +lie, but merely that you are not correct in what you state, I accept your +challenge, with the conditions you have proposed, and at once, that the +day you have fixed may not expire; and from your conditions I except only +that of the renown of your achievements being transferred to me, for I +know not of what sort they are nor what they may amount to; I am +satisfied with my own, such as they be. Take, therefore, the side of the +field you choose, and I will do the same; and to whom God shall give it +may Saint Peter add his blessing." + +The Knight of the White Moon had been seen from the city, and it was told +the viceroy how he was in conversation with Don Quixote. The viceroy, +fancying it must be some fresh adventure got up by Don Antonio Moreno or +some other gentleman of the city, hurried out at once to the beach +accompanied by Don Antonio and several other gentlemen, just as Don +Quixote was wheeling Rocinante round in order to take up the necessary +distance. The viceroy upon this, seeing that the pair of them were +evidently preparing to come to the charge, put himself between them, +asking them what it was that led them to engage in combat all of a sudden +in this way. The Knight of the White Moon replied that it was a question +of precedence of beauty; and briefly told him what he had said to Don +Quixote, and how the conditions of the defiance agreed upon on both sides +had been accepted. The viceroy went over to Don Antonio, and asked in a +low voice did he know who the Knight of the White Moon was, or was it +some joke they were playing on Don Quixote. Don Antonio replied that he +neither knew who he was nor whether the defiance was in joke or in +earnest. This answer left the viceroy in a state of perplexity, not +knowing whether he ought to let the combat go on or not; but unable to +persuade himself that it was anything but a joke he fell back, saying, +"If there be no other way out of it, gallant knights, except to confess +or die, and Don Quixote is inflexible, and your worship of the White Moon +still more so, in God's hand be it, and fall on." + +He of the White Moon thanked the viceroy in courteous and well-chosen +words for the permission he gave them, and so did Don Quixote, who then, +commending himself with all his heart to heaven and to his Dulcinea, as +was his custom on the eve of any combat that awaited him, proceeded to +take a little more distance, as he saw his antagonist was doing the same; +then, without blast of trumpet or other warlike instrument to give them +the signal to charge, both at the same instant wheeled their horses; and +he of the White Moon, being the swifter, met Don Quixote after having +traversed two-thirds of the course, and there encountered him with such +violence that, without touching him with his lance (for he held it high, +to all appearance purposely), he hurled Don Quixote and Rocinante to the +earth, a perilous fall. He sprang upon him at once, and placing the lance +over his visor said to him, "You are vanquished, sir knight, nay dead +unless you admit the conditions of our defiance." + +Don Quixote, bruised and stupefied, without raising his visor said in a +weak feeble voice as if he were speaking out of a tomb, "Dulcinea del +Toboso is the fairest woman in the world, and I the most unfortunate +knight on earth; it is not fitting that this truth should suffer by my +feebleness; drive your lance home, sir knight, and take my life, since +you have taken away my honour." + +"That will I not, in sooth," said he of the White Moon; "live the fame of +the lady Dulcinea's beauty undimmed as ever; all I require is that the +great Don Quixote retire to his own home for a year, or for so long a +time as shall by me be enjoined upon him, as we agreed before engaging in +this combat." + +The viceroy, Don Antonio, and several others who were present heard all +this, and heard too how Don Quixote replied that so long as nothing in +prejudice of Dulcinea was demanded of him, he would observe all the rest +like a true and loyal knight. The engagement given, he of the White Moon +wheeled about, and making obeisance to the viceroy with a movement of the +head, rode away into the city at a half gallop. The viceroy bade Don +Antonio hasten after him, and by some means or other find out who he was. +They raised Don Quixote up and uncovered his face, and found him pale and +bathed with sweat. + +Rocinante from the mere hard measure he had received lay unable to stir +for the present. Sancho, wholly dejected and woebegone, knew not what to +say or do. He fancied that all was a dream, that the whole business was a +piece of enchantment. Here was his master defeated, and bound not to take +up arms for a year. He saw the light of the glory of his achievements +obscured; the hopes of the promises lately made him swept away like smoke +before the wind; Rocinante, he feared, was crippled for life, and his +master's bones out of joint; for if he were only shaken out of his +madness it would be no small luck. In the end they carried him into the +city in a hand-chair which the viceroy sent for, and thither the viceroy +himself returned, cager to ascertain who this Knight of the White Moon +was who had left Don Quixote in such a sad plight. + +Chapter LXV. - +Wherein is made known who the Knight of the White Moon was; likewise Don +Gregorio's release, and other events + +Don Antonia Moreno followed the Knight of the White Moon, and a number of +boys followed him too, nay pursued him, until they had him fairly housed +in a hostel in the heart of the city. Don Antonio, eager to make his +acquaintance, entered also; a squire came out to meet him and remove his +armour, and he shut himself into a lower room, still attended by Don +Antonio, whose bread would not bake until he had found out who he was. He +of the White Moon, seeing then that the gentleman would not leave him, +said, "I know very well, senor, what you have come for; it is to find out +who I am; and as there is no reason why I should conceal it from you, +while my servant here is taking off my armour I will tell you the true +state of the case, without leaving out anything. You must know, senor, +that I am called the bachelor Samson Carrasco. I am of the same village +as Don Quixote of La Mancha, whose craze and folly make all of us who +know him feel pity for him, and I am one of those who have felt it most; +and persuaded that his chance of recovery lay in quiet and keeping at +home and in his own house, I hit upon a device for keeping him there. +Three months ago, therefore, I went out to meet him as a knight-errant, +under the assumed name of the Knight of the Mirrors, intending to engage +him in combat and overcome him without hurting him, making it the +condition of our combat that the vanquished should be at the disposal of +the victor. What I meant to demand of him (for I regarded him as +vanquished already) was that he should return to his own village, and not +leave it for a whole year, by which time he might be cured. But fate +ordered it otherwise, for he vanquished me and unhorsed me, and so my +plan failed. He went his way, and I came back conquered, covered with +shame, and sorely bruised by my fall, which was a particularly dangerous +one. But this did not quench my desire to meet him again and overcome +him, as you have seen to-day. And as he is so scrupulous in his +observance of the laws of knight-errantry, he will, no doubt, in order to +keep his word, obey the injunction I have laid upon him. This, senor, is +how the matter stands, and I have nothing more to tell you. I implore of +you not to betray me, or tell Don Quixote who I am; so that my honest +endeavours may be successful, and that a man of excellent wits--were he +only rid of the fooleries of chivalry--may get them back again." + +"O senor," said Don Antonio, "may God forgive you the wrong you have done +the whole world in trying to bring the most amusing madman in it back to +his senses. Do you not see, senor, that the gain by Don Quixote's sanity +can never equal the enjoyment his crazes give? But my belief is that all +the senor bachelor's pains will be of no avail to bring a man so +hopelessly cracked to his senses again; and if it were not uncharitable, +I would say may Don Quixote never be cured, for by his recovery we lose +not only his own drolleries, but his squire Sancho Panza's too, any one +of which is enough to turn melancholy itself into merriment. However, +I'll hold my peace and say nothing to him, and we'll see whether I am +right in my suspicion that Senor Carrasco's efforts will be fruitless." + +The bachelor replied that at all events the affair promised well, and he +hoped for a happy result from it; and putting his services at Don +Antonio's commands he took his leave of him; and having had his armour +packed at once upon a mule, he rode away from the city the same day on +the horse he rode to battle, and returned to his own country without +meeting any adventure calling for record in this veracious history. + +Don Antonio reported to the viceroy what Carrasco told him, and the +viceroy was not very well pleased to hear it, for with Don Quixote's +retirement there was an end to the amusement of all who knew anything of +his mad doings. + +Six days did Don Quixote keep his bed, dejected, melancholy, moody and +out of sorts, brooding over the unhappy event of his defeat. Sancho +strove to comfort him, and among other things he said to him, "Hold up +your head, senor, and be of good cheer if you can, and give thanks to +heaven that if you have had a tumble to the ground you have not come off +with a broken rib; and, as you know that 'where they give they take,' and +that 'there are not always fletches where there are pegs,' a fig for the +doctor, for there's no need of him to cure this ailment. Let us go home, +and give over going about in search of adventures in strange lands and +places; rightly looked at, it is I that am the greater loser, though it +is your worship that has had the worse usage. With the government I gave +up all wish to be a governor again, but I did not give up all longing to +be a count; and that will never come to pass if your worship gives up +becoming a king by renouncing the calling of chivalry; and so my hopes +are going to turn into smoke." + +"Peace, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "thou seest my suspension and +retirement is not to exceed a year; I shall soon return to my honoured +calling, and I shall not be at a loss for a kingdom to win and a county +to bestow on thee." + +"May God hear it and sin be deaf," said Sancho; "I have always heard say +that 'a good hope is better than a bad holding." + +As they were talking Don Antonio came in looking extremely pleased and +exclaiming, "Reward me for my good news, Senor Don Quixote! Don Gregorio +and the renegade who went for him have come ashore--ashore do I say? They +are by this time in the viceroy's house, and will be here immediately." + +Don Quixote cheered up a little and said, "Of a truth I am almost ready +to say I should have been glad had it turned out just the other way, for +it would have obliged me to cross over to Barbary, where by the might of +my arm I should have restored to liberty, not only Don Gregorio, but all +the Christian captives there are in Barbary. But what am I saying, +miserable being that I am? Am I not he that has been conquered? Am I not +he that has been overthrown? Am I not he who must not take up arms for a +year? Then what am I making professions for; what am I bragging about; +when it is fitter for me to handle the distaff than the sword?" + +"No more of that, senor," said Sancho; "'let the hen live, even though it +be with her pip; 'today for thee and to-morrow for me;' in these affairs +of encounters and whacks one must not mind them, for he that falls to-day +may get up to-morrow; unless indeed he chooses to lie in bed, I mean +gives way to weakness and does not pluck up fresh spirit for fresh +battles; let your worship get up now to receive Don Gregorio; for the +household seems to be in a bustle, and no doubt he has come by this +time;" and so it proved, for as soon as Don Gregorio and the renegade had +given the viceroy an account of the voyage out and home, Don Gregorio, +eager to see Ana Felix, came with the renegade to Don Antonio's house. +When they carried him away from Algiers he was in woman's dress; on board +the vessel, however, he exchanged it for that of a captive who escaped +with him; but in whatever dress he might be he looked like one to be +loved and served and esteemed, for he was surpassingly well-favoured, and +to judge by appearances some seventeen or eighteen years of age. Ricote +and his daughter came out to welcome him, the father with tears, the +daughter with bashfulness. They did not embrace each other, for where +there is deep love there will never be overmuch boldness. Seen side by +side, the comeliness of Don Gregorio and the beauty of Ana Felix were the +admiration of all who were present. It was silence that spoke for the +lovers at that moment, and their eyes were the tongues that declared +their pure and happy feelings. The renegade explained the measures and +means he had adopted to rescue Don Gregorio, and Don Gregorio at no great +length, but in a few words, in which he showed that his intelligence was +in advance of his years, described the peril and embarrassment he found +himself in among the women with whom he had sojourned. To conclude, +Ricote liberally recompensed and rewarded as well the renegade as the men +who had rowed; and the renegade effected his readmission into the body of +the Church and was reconciled with it, and from a rotten limb became by +penance and repentance a clean and sound one. + +Two days later the viceroy discussed with Don Antonio the steps they +should take to enable Ana Felix and her father to stay in Spain, for it +seemed to them there could be no objection to a daughter who was so good +a Christian and a father to all appearance so well disposed remaining +there. Don Antonio offered to arrange the matter at the capital, whither +he was compelled to go on some other business, hinting that many a +difficult affair was settled there with the help of favour and bribes. + +"Nay," said Ricote, who was present during the conversation, "it will not +do to rely upon favour or bribes, because with the great Don Bernardino +de Velasco, Conde de Salazar, to whom his Majesty has entrusted our +expulsion, neither entreaties nor promises, bribes nor appeals to +compassion, are of any use; for though it is true he mingles mercy with +justice, still, seeing that the whole body of our nation is tainted and +corrupt, he applies to it the cautery that burns rather than the salve +that soothes; and thus, by prudence, sagacity, care and the fear he +inspires, he has borne on his mighty shoulders the weight of this great +policy and carried it into effect, all our schemes and plots, +importunities and wiles, being ineffectual to blind his Argus eyes, ever +on the watch lest one of us should remain behind in concealment, and like +a hidden root come in course of time to sprout and bear poisonous fruit +in Spain, now cleansed, and relieved of the fear in which our vast +numbers kept it. Heroic resolve of the great Philip the Third, and +unparalleled wisdom to have entrusted it to the said Don Bernardino de +Velasco!" + +"At any rate," said Don Antonio, "when I am there I will make all +possible efforts, and let heaven do as pleases it best; Don Gregorio will +come with me to relieve the anxiety which his parents must be suffering +on account of his absence; Ana Felix will remain in my house with my +wife, or in a monastery; and I know the viceroy will be glad that the +worthy Ricote should stay with him until we see what terms I can make." + +The viceroy agreed to all that was proposed; but Don Gregorio on learning +what had passed declared he could not and would not on any account leave +Ana Felix; however, as it was his purpose to go and see his parents and +devise some way of returning for her, he fell in with the proposed +arrangement. Ana Felix remained with Don Antonio's wife, and Ricote in +the viceroy's house. + +The day for Don Antonio's departure came; and two days later that for Don +Quixote's and Sancho's, for Don Quixote's fall did not suffer him to take +the road sooner. There were tears and sighs, swoonings and sobs, at the +parting between Don Gregorio and Ana Felix. Ricote offered Don Gregorio a +thousand crowns if he would have them, but he would not take any save +five which Don Antonio lent him and he promised to repay at the capital. +So the two of them took their departure, and Don Quixote and Sancho +afterwards, as has been already said, Don Quixote without his armour and +in travelling gear, and Sancho on foot, Dapple being loaded with the +armour. + +Chapter LXVI. - +Which treats of what he who reads will see, or what he who has it read to +him will hear + +As he left Barcelona, Don Quixote turned gaze upon the spot where he had +fallen. "Here Troy was," said he; "here my ill-luck, not my cowardice, +robbed me of all the glory I had won; here Fortune made me the victim of +her caprices; here the lustre of my achievements was dimmed; here, in a +word, fell my happiness never to rise again." + +"Senor," said Sancho on hearing this, "it is the part of brave hearts to +be patient in adversity just as much as to be glad in prosperity; I judge +by myself, for, if when I was a governor I was glad, now that I am a +squire and on foot I am not sad; and I have heard say that she whom +commonly they call Fortune is a drunken whimsical jade, and, what is +more, blind, and therefore neither sees what she does, nor knows whom she +casts down or whom she sets up." + +"Thou art a great philosopher, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "thou speakest +very sensibly; I know not who taught thee. But I can tell thee there is +no such thing as Fortune in the world, nor does anything which takes +place there, be it good or bad, come about by chance, but by the special +preordination of heaven; and hence the common saying that 'each of us is +the maker of his own Fortune.' I have been that of mine; but not with the +proper amount of prudence, and my self-confidence has therefore made me +pay dearly; for I ought to have reflected that Rocinante's feeble +strength could not resist the mighty bulk of the Knight of the White +Moon's horse. In a word, I ventured it, I did my best, I was overthrown, +but though I lost my honour I did not lose nor can I lose the virtue of +keeping my word. When I was a knight-errant, daring and valiant, I +supported my achievements by hand and deed, and now that I am a humble +squire I will support my words by keeping the promise I have given. +Forward then, Sancho my friend, let us go to keep the year of the +novitiate in our own country, and in that seclusion we shall pick up +fresh strength to return to the by me never-forgotten calling of arms." + +"Senor," returned Sancho, "travelling on foot is not such a pleasant +thing that it makes me feel disposed or tempted to make long marches. Let +us leave this armour hung up on some tree, instead of some one that has +been hanged; and then with me on Dapple's back and my feet off the ground +we will arrange the stages as your worship pleases to measure them out; +but to suppose that I am going to travel on foot, and make long ones, is +to suppose nonsense." + +"Thou sayest well, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "let my armour be hung up +for a trophy, and under it or round it we will carve on the trees what +was inscribed on the trophy of Roland's armour-- + +These let none move +Who dareth not his might with Roland prove." + +"That's the very thing," said Sancho; "and if it was not that we should +feel the want of Rocinante on the road, it would be as well to leave him +hung up too." + +"And yet, I had rather not have either him or the armour hung up," said +Don Quixote, "that it may not be said, 'for good service a bad return.'" + +"Your worship is right," said Sancho; "for, as sensible people hold, 'the +fault of the ass must not be laid on the pack-saddle;' and, as in this +affair the fault is your worship's, punish yourself and don't let your +anger break out against the already battered and bloody armour, or the +meekness of Rocinante, or the tenderness of my feet, trying to make them +travel more than is reasonable." + +In converse of this sort the whole of that day went by, as did the four +succeeding ones, without anything occurring to interrupt their journey, +but on the fifth as they entered a village they found a great number of +people at the door of an inn enjoying themselves, as it was a holiday. +Upon Don Quixote's approach a peasant called out, "One of these two +gentlemen who come here, and who don't know the parties, will tell us +what we ought to do about our wager." + +"That I will, certainly," said Don Quixote, "and according to the rights +of the case, if I can manage to understand it." + +"Well, here it is, worthy sir," said the peasant; "a man of this village +who is so fat that he weighs twenty stone challenged another, a neighbour +of his, who does not weigh more than nine, to run a race. The agreement +was that they were to run a distance of a hundred paces with equal +weights; and when the challenger was asked how the weights were to be +equalised he said that the other, as he weighed nine stone, should put +eleven in iron on his back, and that in this way the twenty stone of the +thin man would equal the twenty stone of the fat one." + +"Not at all," exclaimed Sancho at once, before Don Quixote could answer; +"it's for me, that only a few days ago left off being a governor and a +judge, as all the world knows, to settle these doubtful questions and +give an opinion in disputes of all sorts." + +"Answer in God's name, Sancho my friend," said Don Quixote, "for I am not +fit to give crumbs to a cat, my wits are so confused and upset." + +With this permission Sancho said to the peasants who stood clustered +round him, waiting with open mouths for the decision to come from his, +"Brothers, what the fat man requires is not in reason, nor has it a +shadow of justice in it; because, if it be true, as they say, that the +challenged may choose the weapons, the other has no right to choose such +as will prevent and keep him from winning. My decision, therefore, is +that the fat challenger prune, peel, thin, trim and correct himself, and +take eleven stone of his flesh off his body, here or there, as he +pleases, and as suits him best; and being in this way reduced to nine +stone weight, he will make himself equal and even with nine stone of his +opponent, and they will be able to run on equal terms." + +"By all that's good," said one of the peasants as he heard Sancho's +decision, "but the gentleman has spoken like a saint, and given judgment +like a canon! But I'll be bound the fat man won't part with an ounce of +his flesh, not to say eleven stone." + +"The best plan will be for them not to run," said another, "so that +neither the thin man break down under the weight, nor the fat one strip +himself of his flesh; let half the wager be spent in wine, and let's take +these gentlemen to the tavern where there's the best, and 'over me be the +cloak when it rains." + +"I thank you, sirs," said Don Quixote; "but I cannot stop for an instant, +for sad thoughts and unhappy circumstances force me to seem discourteous +and to travel apace;" and spurring Rocinante he pushed on, leaving them +wondering at what they had seen and heard, at his own strange figure and +at the shrewdness of his servant, for such they took Sancho to be; and +another of them observed, "If the servant is so clever, what must the +master be? I'll bet, if they are going to Salamanca to study, they'll +come to be alcaldes of the Court in a trice; for it's a mere joke--only +to read and read, and have interest and good luck; and before a man knows +where he is he finds himself with a staff in his hand or a mitre on his +head." + +That night master and man passed out in the fields in the open air, and +the next day as they were pursuing their journey they saw coming towards +them a man on foot with alforjas at the neck and a javelin or spiked +staff in his hand, the very cut of a foot courier; who, as soon as he +came close to Don Quixote, increased his pace and half running came up to +him, and embracing his right thigh, for he could reach no higher, +exclaimed with evident pleasure, "O Senor Don Quixote of La Mancha, what +happiness it will be to the heart of my lord the duke when he knows your +worship is coming back to his castle, for he is still there with my lady +the duchess!" + +"I do not recognise you, friend," said Don Quixote, "nor do I know who +you are, unless you tell me." + +"I am Tosilos, my lord the duke's lacquey, Senor Don Quixote," replied +the courier; "he who refused to fight your worship about marrying the +daughter of Dona Rodriguez." + +"God bless me!" exclaimed Don Quixote; "is it possible that you are the +one whom mine enemies the enchanters changed into the lacquey you speak +of in order to rob me of the honour of that battle?" + +"Nonsense, good sir!" said the messenger; "there was no enchantment or +transformation at all; I entered the lists just as much lacquey Tosilos +as I came out of them lacquey Tosilos. I thought to marry without +fighting, for the girl had taken my fancy; but my scheme had a very +different result, for as soon as your worship had left the castle my lord +the duke had a hundred strokes of the stick given me for having acted +contrary to the orders he gave me before engaging in the combat; and the +end of the whole affair is that the girl has become a nun, and Dona +Rodriguez has gone back to Castile, and I am now on my way to Barcelona +with a packet of letters for the viceroy which my master is sending him. +If your worship would like a drop, sound though warm, I have a gourd here +full of the best, and some scraps of Tronchon cheese that will serve as a +provocative and wakener of your thirst if so be it is asleep." + +"I take the offer," said Sancho; "no more compliments about it; pour out, +good Tosilos, in spite of all the enchanters in the Indies." + +"Thou art indeed the greatest glutton in the world, Sancho," said Don +Quixote, "and the greatest booby on earth, not to be able to see that +this courier is enchanted and this Tosilos a sham one; stop with him and +take thy fill; I will go on slowly and wait for thee to come up with me." + +The lacquey laughed, unsheathed his gourd, unwalletted his scraps, and +taking out a small loaf of bread he and Sancho seated themselves on the +green grass, and in peace and good fellowship finished off the contents +of the alforjas down to the bottom, so resolutely that they licked the +wrapper of the letters, merely because it smelt of cheese. + +Said Tosilos to Sancho, "Beyond a doubt, Sancho my friend, this master of +thine ought to be a madman." + +"Ought!" said Sancho; "he owes no man anything; he pays for everything, +particularly when the coin is madness. I see it plain enough, and I tell +him so plain enough; but what's the use? especially now that it is all +over with him, for here he is beaten by the Knight of the White Moon." + +Tosilos begged him to explain what had happened him, but Sancho replied +that it would not be good manners to leave his master waiting for him; +and that some other day if they met there would be time enough for that; +and then getting up, after shaking his doublet and brushing the crumbs +out of his beard, he drove Dapple on before him, and bidding adieu to +Tosilos left him and rejoined his master, who was waiting for him under +the shade of a tree. + +Chapter LXVII. - +Of the resolution Don Quixote formed to turn shepherd and take to a life +in the fields while the year for which he had given his word was running +its course; with other events truly delectable and happy + +If a multitude of reflections used to harass Don Quixote before he had +been overthrown, a great many more harassed him since his fall. He was +under the shade of a tree, as has been said, and there, like flies on +honey, thoughts came crowding upon him and stinging him. Some of them +turned upon the disenchantment of Dulcinea, others upon the life he was +about to lead in his enforced retirement. Sancho came up and spoke in +high praise of the generous disposition of the lacquey Tosilos. + +"Is it possible, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "that thou dost still think +that he yonder is a real lacquey? Apparently it has escaped thy memory +that thou hast seen Dulcinea turned and transformed into a peasant wench, +and the Knight of the Mirrors into the bachelor Carrasco; all the work of +the enchanters that persecute me. But tell me now, didst thou ask this +Tosilos, as thou callest him, what has become of Altisidora, did she weep +over my absence, or has she already consigned to oblivion the love +thoughts that used to afflict her when I was present?" + +"The thoughts that I had," said Sancho, "were not such as to leave time +for asking fool's questions. Body o' me, senor! is your worship in a +condition now to inquire into other people's thoughts, above all love +thoughts?" + +"Look ye, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "there is a great difference between +what is done out of love and what is done out of gratitude. A knight may +very possibly be proof against love; but it is impossible, strictly +speaking, for him to be ungrateful. Altisidora, to all appearance, loved +me truly; she gave me the three kerchiefs thou knowest of; she wept at my +departure, she cursed me, she abused me, casting shame to the winds she +bewailed herself in public; all signs that she adored me; for the wrath +of lovers always ends in curses. I had no hopes to give her, nor +treasures to offer her, for mine are given to Dulcinea, and the treasures +of knights-errant are like those of the fairies,' illusory and deceptive; +all I can give her is the place in my memory I keep for her, without +prejudice, however, to that which I hold devoted to Dulcinea, whom thou +art wronging by thy remissness in whipping thyself and scourging that +flesh--would that I saw it eaten by wolves--which would rather keep +itself for the worms than for the relief of that poor lady." + +"Senor," replied Sancho, "if the truth is to be told, I cannot persuade +myself that the whipping of my backside has anything to do with the +disenchantment of the enchanted; it is like saying, 'If your head aches +rub ointment on your knees;' at any rate I'll make bold to swear that in +all the histories dealing with knight-errantry that your worship has read +you have never come across anybody disenchanted by whipping; but whether +or no I'll whip myself when I have a fancy for it, and the opportunity +serves for scourging myself comfortably." + +"God grant it," said Don Quixote; "and heaven give thee grace to take it +to heart and own the obligation thou art under to help my lady, who is +thine also, inasmuch as thou art mine." + +As they pursued their journey talking in this way they came to the very +same spot where they had been trampled on by the bulls. Don Quixote +recognised it, and said he to Sancho, "This is the meadow where we came +upon those gay shepherdesses and gallant shepherds who were trying to +revive and imitate the pastoral Arcadia there, an idea as novel as it was +happy, in emulation whereof, if so be thou dost approve of it, Sancho, I +would have ourselves turn shepherds, at any rate for the time I have to +live in retirement. I will buy some ewes and everything else requisite +for the pastoral calling; and, I under the name of the shepherd Quixotize +and thou as the shepherd Panzino, we will roam the woods and groves and +meadows singing songs here, lamenting in elegies there, drinking of the +crystal waters of the springs or limpid brooks or flowing rivers. The +oaks will yield us their sweet fruit with bountiful hand, the trunks of +the hard cork trees a seat, the willows shade, the roses perfume, the +widespread meadows carpets tinted with a thousand dyes; the clear pure +air will give us breath, the moon and stars lighten the darkness of the +night for us, song shall be our delight, lamenting our joy, Apollo will +supply us with verses, and love with conceits whereby we shall make +ourselves famed for ever, not only in this but in ages to come." + +"Egad," said Sancho, "but that sort of life squares, nay corners, with my +notions; and what is more the bachelor Samson Carrasco and Master +Nicholas the barber won't have well seen it before they'll want to follow +it and turn shepherds along with us; and God grant it may not come into +the curate's head to join the sheepfold too, he's so jovial and fond of +enjoying himself." + +"Thou art in the right of it, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "and the +bachelor Samson Carrasco, if he enters the pastoral fraternity, as no +doubt he will, may call himself the shepherd Samsonino, or perhaps the +shepherd Carrascon; Nicholas the barber may call himself Niculoso, as old +Boscan formerly was called Nemoroso; as for the curate I don't know what +name we can fit to him unless it be something derived from his title, and +we call him the shepherd Curiambro. For the shepherdesses whose lovers we +shall be, we can pick names as we would pears; and as my lady's name does +just as well for a shepherdess's as for a princess's, I need not trouble +myself to look for one that will suit her better; to thine, Sancho, thou +canst give what name thou wilt." + +"I don't mean to give her any but Teresona," said Sancho, "which will go +well with her stoutness and with her own right name, as she is called +Teresa; and then when I sing her praises in my verses I'll show how +chaste my passion is, for I'm not going to look 'for better bread than +ever came from wheat' in other men's houses. It won't do for the curate +to have a shepherdess, for the sake of good example; and if the bachelor +chooses to have one, that is his look-out." + +"God bless me, Sancho my friend!" said Don Quixote, "what a life we shall +lead! What hautboys and Zamora bagpipes we shall hear, what tabors, +timbrels, and rebecks! And then if among all these different sorts of +music that of the albogues is heard, almost all the pastoral instruments +will be there." + +"What are albogues?" asked Sancho, "for I never in my life heard tell of +them or saw them." + +"Albogues," said Don Quixote, "are brass plates like candlesticks that +struck against one another on the hollow side make a noise which, if not +very pleasing or harmonious, is not disagreeable and accords very well +with the rude notes of the bagpipe and tabor. The word albogue is +Morisco, as are all those in our Spanish tongue that begin with al; for +example, almohaza, almorzar, alhombra, alguacil, alhucema, almacen, +alcancia, and others of the same sort, of which there are not many more; +our language has only three that are Morisco and end in i, which are +borcegui, zaquizami, and maravedi. Alheli and alfaqui are seen to be +Arabic, as well by the al at the beginning as by the they end with. I +mention this incidentally, the chance allusion to albogues having +reminded me of it; and it will be of great assistance to us in the +perfect practice of this calling that I am something of a poet, as thou +knowest, and that besides the bachelor Samson Carrasco is an accomplished +one. Of the curate I say nothing; but I will wager he has some spice of +the poet in him, and no doubt Master Nicholas too, for all barbers, or +most of them, are guitar players and stringers of verses. I will bewail +my separation; thou shalt glorify thyself as a constant lover; the +shepherd Carrascon will figure as a rejected one, and the curate +Curiambro as whatever may please him best; and so all will go as gaily as +heart could wish." + +To this Sancho made answer, "I am so unlucky, senor, that I'm afraid the +day will never come when I'll see myself at such a calling. O what neat +spoons I'll make when I'm a shepherd! What messes, creams, garlands, +pastoral odds and ends! And if they don't get me a name for wisdom, +they'll not fail to get me one for ingenuity. My daughter Sanchica will +bring us our dinner to the pasture. But stay-she's good-looking, and +shepherds there are with more mischief than simplicity in them; I would +not have her 'come for wool and go back shorn;' love-making and lawless +desires are just as common in the fields as in the cities, and in +shepherds' shanties as in royal palaces; 'do away with the cause, you do +away with the sin;' 'if eyes don't see hearts don't break' and 'better a +clear escape than good men's prayers.'" + +"A truce to thy proverbs, Sancho," exclaimed Don Quixote; "any one of +those thou hast uttered would suffice to explain thy meaning; many a time +have I recommended thee not to be so lavish with proverbs and to exercise +some moderation in delivering them; but it seems to me it is only +'preaching in the desert;' 'my mother beats me and I go on with my +tricks." + +"It seems to me," said Sancho, "that your worship is like the common +saying, 'Said the frying-pan to the kettle, Get away, blackbreech.' You +chide me for uttering proverbs, and you string them in couples yourself." + +"Observe, Sancho," replied Don Quixote, "I bring in proverbs to the +purpose, and when I quote them they fit like a ring to the finger; thou +bringest them in by the head and shoulders, in such a way that thou dost +drag them in, rather than introduce them; if I am not mistaken, I have +told thee already that proverbs are short maxims drawn from the +experience and observation of our wise men of old; but the proverb that +is not to the purpose is a piece of nonsense and not a maxim. But enough +of this; as nightfall is drawing on let us retire some little distance +from the high road to pass the night; what is in store for us to-morrow +God knoweth." + +They turned aside, and supped late and poorly, very much against Sancho's +will, who turned over in his mind the hardships attendant upon +knight-errantry in woods and forests, even though at times plenty +presented itself in castles and houses, as at Don Diego de Miranda's, at +the wedding of Camacho the Rich, and at Don Antonio Moreno's; he +reflected, however, that it could not be always day, nor always night; +and so that night he passed in sleeping, and his master in waking. + +Chapter LXVIII. - +Of the bristly adventure that befell Don Quixote + +The night was somewhat dark, for though there was a moon in the sky it +was not in a quarter where she could be seen; for sometimes the lady +Diana goes on a stroll to the antipodes, and leaves the mountains all +black and the valleys in darkness. Don Quixote obeyed nature so far as to +sleep his first sleep, but did not give way to the second, very different +from Sancho, who never had any second, because with him sleep lasted from +night till morning, wherein he showed what a sound constitution and few +cares he had. Don Quixote's cares kept him restless, so much so that he +awoke Sancho and said to him, "I am amazed, Sancho, at the unconcern of +thy temperament. I believe thou art made of marble or hard brass, +incapable of any emotion or feeling whatever. I lie awake while thou +sleepest, I weep while thou singest, I am faint with fasting while thou +art sluggish and torpid from pure repletion. It is the duty of good +servants to share the sufferings and feel the sorrows of their masters, +if it be only for the sake of appearances. See the calmness of the night, +the solitude of the spot, inviting us to break our slumbers by a vigil of +some sort. Rise as thou livest, and retire a little distance, and with a +good heart and cheerful courage give thyself three or four hundred lashes +on account of Dulcinea's disenchantment score; and this I entreat of +thee, making it a request, for I have no desire to come to grips with +thee a second time, as I know thou hast a heavy hand. As soon as thou +hast laid them on we will pass the rest of the night, I singing my +separation, thou thy constancy, making a beginning at once with the +pastoral life we are to follow at our village." + +"Senor," replied Sancho, "I'm no monk to get up out of the middle of my +sleep and scourge myself, nor does it seem to me that one can pass from +one extreme of the pain of whipping to the other of music. Will your +worship let me sleep, and not worry me about whipping myself? or you'll +make me swear never to touch a hair of my doublet, not to say my flesh." + +"O hard heart!" said Don Quixote, "O pitiless squire! O bread +ill-bestowed and favours ill-acknowledged, both those I have done thee +and those I mean to do thee! Through me hast thou seen thyself a +governor, and through me thou seest thyself in immediate expectation of +being a count, or obtaining some other equivalent title, for I-post +tenebras spero lucem." + +"I don't know what that is," said Sancho; "all I know is that so long as +I am asleep I have neither fear nor hope, trouble nor glory; and good +luck betide him that invented sleep, the cloak that covers over all a +man's thoughts, the food that removes hunger, the drink that drives away +thirst, the fire that warms the cold, the cold that tempers the heat, +and, to wind up with, the universal coin wherewith everything is bought, +the weight and balance that makes the shepherd equal with the king and +the fool with the wise man. Sleep, I have heard say, has only one fault, +that it is like death; for between a sleeping man and a dead man there is +very little difference." + +"Never have I heard thee speak so elegantly as now, Sancho," said Don +Quixote; "and here I begin to see the truth of the proverb thou dost +sometimes quote, 'Not with whom thou art bred, but with whom thou art +fed.'" + +"Ha, by my life, master mine," said Sancho, "it's not I that am stringing +proverbs now, for they drop in pairs from your worship's mouth faster +than from mine; only there is this difference between mine and yours, +that yours are well-timed and mine are untimely; but anyhow, they are all +proverbs." + +At this point they became aware of a harsh indistinct noise that seemed +to spread through all the valleys around. Don Quixote stood up and laid +his hand upon his sword, and Sancho ensconced himself under Dapple and +put the bundle of armour on one side of him and the ass's pack-saddle on +the other, in fear and trembling as great as Don Quixote's perturbation. +Each instant the noise increased and came nearer to the two terrified +men, or at least to one, for as to the other, his courage is known to +all. The fact of the matter was that some men were taking above six +hundred pigs to sell at a fair, and were on their way with them at that +hour, and so great was the noise they made and their grunting and +blowing, that they deafened the ears of Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, and +they could not make out what it was. The wide-spread grunting drove came +on in a surging mass, and without showing any respect for Don Quixote's +dignity or Sancho's, passed right over the pair of them, demolishing +Sancho's entrenchments, and not only upsetting Don Quixote but sweeping +Rocinante off his feet into the bargain; and what with the trampling and +the grunting, and the pace at which the unclean beasts went, pack-saddle, +armour, Dapple and Rocinante were left scattered on the ground and Sancho +and Don Quixote at their wits' end. + +Sancho got up as well as he could and begged his master to give him his +sword, saying he wanted to kill half a dozen of those dirty unmannerly +pigs, for he had by this time found out that that was what they were. + +"Let them be, my friend," said Don Quixote; "this insult is the penalty +of my sin; and it is the righteous chastisement of heaven that jackals +should devour a vanquished knight, and wasps sting him and pigs trample +him under foot." + +"I suppose it is the chastisement of heaven, too," said Sancho, "that +flies should prick the squires of vanquished knights, and lice eat them, +and hunger assail them. If we squires were the sons of the knights we +serve, or their very near relations, it would be no wonder if the penalty +of their misdeeds overtook us, even to the fourth generation. But what +have the Panzas to do with the Quixotes? Well, well, let's lie down again +and sleep out what little of the night there's left, and God will send us +dawn and we shall be all right." + +"Sleep thou, Sancho," returned Don Quixote, "for thou wast born to sleep +as I was born to watch; and during the time it now wants of dawn I will +give a loose rein to my thoughts, and seek a vent for them in a little +madrigal which, unknown to thee, I composed in my head last night." + +"I should think," said Sancho, "that the thoughts that allow one to make +verses cannot be of great consequence; let your worship string verses as +much as you like and I'll sleep as much as I can;" and forthwith, taking +the space of ground he required, he muffled himself up and fell into a +sound sleep, undisturbed by bond, debt, or trouble of any sort. Don +Quixote, propped up against the trunk of a beech or a cork tree--for Cide +Hamete does not specify what kind of tree it was--sang in this strain to +the accompaniment of his own sighs: + +poem{ + + When in my mind +I muse, O Love, upon thy cruelty, + To death I flee, +In hope therein the end of all to find. + + But drawing near +That welcome haven in my sea of woe, + Such joy I know, +That life revives, and still I linger here. + + Thus life doth slay, +And death again to life restoreth me; + Strange destiny, +That deals with life and death as with a play! + +}poem + +He accompanied each verse with many sighs and not a few tears, just like +one whose heart was pierced with grief at his defeat and his separation +from Dulcinea. + +And now daylight came, and the sun smote Sancho on the eyes with his +beams. He awoke, roused himself up, shook himself and stretched his lazy +limbs, and seeing the havoc the pigs had made with his stores he cursed +the drove, and more besides. Then the pair resumed their journey, and as +evening closed in they saw coming towards them some ten men on horseback +and four or five on foot. Don Quixote's heart beat quick and Sancho's +quailed with fear, for the persons approaching them carried lances and +bucklers, and were in very warlike guise. Don Quixote turned to Sancho +and said, "If I could make use of my weapons, and my promise had not tied +my hands, I would count this host that comes against us but cakes and +fancy bread; but perhaps it may prove something different from what we +apprehend." The men on horseback now came up, and raising their lances +surrounded Don Quixote in silence, and pointed them at his back and +breast, menacing him with death. One of those on foot, putting his finger +to his lips as a sign to him to be silent, seized Rocinante's bridle and +drew him out of the road, and the others driving Sancho and Dapple before +them, and all maintaining a strange silence, followed in the steps of the +one who led Don Quixote. The latter two or three times attempted to ask +where they were taking him to and what they wanted, but the instant he +began to open his lips they threatened to close them with the points of +their lances; and Sancho fared the same way, for the moment he seemed +about to speak one of those on foot punched him with a goad, and Dapple +likewise, as if he too wanted to talk. Night set in, they quickened their +pace, and the fears of the two prisoners grew greater, especially as they +heard themselves assailed with--"Get on, ye Troglodytes;" "Silence, ye +barbarians;" "March, ye cannibals;" "No murmuring, ye Scythians;" "Don't +open your eyes, ye murderous Polyphemes, ye blood-thirsty lions," and +suchlike names with which their captors harassed the ears of the wretched +master and man. Sancho went along saying to himself, "We, tortolites, +barbers, animals! I don't like those names at all; 'it's in a bad wind +our corn is being winnowed;' 'misfortune comes upon us all at once like +sticks on a dog,' and God grant it may be no worse than them that this +unlucky adventure has in store for us." + +Don Quixote rode completely dazed, unable with the aid of all his wits to +make out what could be the meaning of these abusive names they called +them, and the only conclusion he could arrive at was that there was no +good to be hoped for and much evil to be feared. And now, about an hour +after midnight, they reached a castle which Don Quixote saw at once was +the duke's, where they had been but a short time before. "God bless me!" +said he, as he recognised the mansion, "what does this mean? It is all +courtesy and politeness in this house; but with the vanquished good turns +into evil, and evil into worse." + +They entered the chief court of the castle and found it prepared and +fitted up in a style that added to their amazement and doubled their +fears, as will be seen in the following chapter. + +Chapter LXIX. - +Of the strangest and most extraordinary adventure that befell Don Quixote +in the whole course of this great history + +The horsemen dismounted, and, together with the men on foot, without a +moment's delay taking up Sancho and Don Quixote bodily, they carried them +into the court, all round which near a hundred torches fixed in sockets +were burning, besides above five hundred lamps in the corridors, so that +in spite of the night, which was somewhat dark, the want of daylight +could not be perceived. In the middle of the court was a catafalque, +raised about two yards above the ground and covered completely by an +immense canopy of black velvet, and on the steps all round it white wax +tapers burned in more than a hundred silver candlesticks. Upon the +catafalque was seen the dead body of a damsel so lovely that by her +beauty she made death itself look beautiful. She lay with her head +resting upon a cushion of brocade and crowned with a garland of +sweet-smelling flowers of divers sorts, her hands crossed upon her bosom, +and between them a branch of yellow palm of victory. On one side of the +court was erected a stage, where upon two chairs were seated two persons +who from having crowns on their heads and sceptres in their hands +appeared to be kings of some sort, whether real or mock ones. By the side +of this stage, which was reached by steps, were two other chairs on which +the men carrying the prisoners seated Don Quixote and Sancho, all in +silence, and by signs giving them to understand that they too were to be +silent; which, however, they would have been without any signs, for their +amazement at all they saw held them tongue-tied. And now two persons of +distinction, who were at once recognised by Don Quixote as his hosts the +duke and duchess, ascended the stage attended by a numerous suite, and +seated themselves on two gorgeous chairs close to the two kings, as they +seemed to be. Who would not have been amazed at this? Nor was this all, +for Don Quixote had perceived that the dead body on the catafalque was +that of the fair Altisidora. As the duke and duchess mounted the stage +Don Quixote and Sancho rose and made them a profound obeisance, which +they returned by bowing their heads slightly. At this moment an official +crossed over, and approaching Sancho threw over him a robe of black +buckram painted all over with flames of fire, and taking off his cap put +upon his head a mitre such as those undergoing the sentence of the Holy +Office wear; and whispered in his ear that he must not open his lips, or +they would put a gag upon him, or take his life. Sancho surveyed himself +from head to foot and saw himself all ablaze with flames; but as they did +not burn him, he did not care two farthings for them. He took off the +mitre and seeing painted with devils he put it on again, saying to +himself, "Well, so far those don't burn me nor do these carry me off." +Don Quixote surveyed him too, and though fear had got the better of his +faculties, he could not help smiling to see the figure Sancho presented. +And now from underneath the catafalque, so it seemed, there rose a low +sweet sound of flutes, which, coming unbroken by human voice (for there +silence itself kept silence), had a soft and languishing effect. Then, +beside the pillow of what seemed to be the dead body, suddenly appeared a +fair youth in a Roman habit, who, to the accompaniment of a harp which he +himself played, sang in a sweet and clear voice these two stanzas: + +poem{ + +While fair Altisidora, who the sport + Of cold Don Quixote's cruelty hath been, +Returns to life, and in this magic court + The dames in sables come to grace the scene, +And while her matrons all in seemly sort + My lady robes in baize and bombazine, +Her beauty and her sorrows will I sing +With defter quill than touched the Thracian string. + +But not in life alone, methinks, to me + Belongs the office; Lady, when my tongue +Is cold in death, believe me, unto thee + My voice shall raise its tributary song. +My soul, from this strait prison-house set free, + As o'er the Stygian lake it floats along, +Thy praises singing still shall hold its way, +And make the waters of oblivion stay. + +}poem + +At this point one of the two that looked like kings exclaimed, "Enough, +enough, divine singer! It would be an endless task to put before us now +the death and the charms of the peerless Altisidora, not dead as the +ignorant world imagines, but living in the voice of fame and in the +penance which Sancho Panza, here present, has to undergo to restore her +to the long-lost light. Do thou, therefore, O Rhadamanthus, who sittest +in judgment with me in the murky caverns of Dis, as thou knowest all that +the inscrutable fates have decreed touching the resuscitation of this +damsel, announce and declare it at once, that the happiness we look +forward to from her restoration be no longer deferred." + +No sooner had Minos the fellow judge of Rhadamanthus said this, than +Rhadamanthus rising up said: + +"Ho, officials of this house, high and low, great and small, make haste +hither one and all, and print on Sancho's face four-and-twenty smacks, +and give him twelve pinches and six pin thrusts in the back and arms; for +upon this ceremony depends the restoration of Altisidora." + +On hearing this Sancho broke silence and cried out, "By all that's good, +I'll as soon let my face be smacked or handled as turn Moor. Body o' me! +What has handling my face got to do with the resurrection of this damsel? +'The old woman took kindly to the blits; they enchant Dulcinea, and whip +me in order to disenchant her; Altisidora dies of ailments God was +pleased to send her, and to bring her to life again they must give me +four-and-twenty smacks, and prick holes in my body with pins, and raise +weals on my arms with pinches! Try those jokes on a brother-in-law; 'I'm +an old dog, and "tus, tus" is no use with me.'" + +"Thou shalt die," said Rhadamanthus in a loud voice; "relent, thou tiger; +humble thyself, proud Nimrod; suffer and be silent, for no +impossibilities are asked of thee; it is not for thee to inquire into the +difficulties in this matter; smacked thou must be, pricked thou shalt see +thyself, and with pinches thou must be made to howl. Ho, I say, +officials, obey my orders; or by the word of an honest man, ye shall see +what ye were born for." + +At this some six duennas, advancing across the court, made their +appearance in procession, one after the other, four of them with +spectacles, and all with their right hands uplifted, showing four fingers +of wrist to make their hands look longer, as is the fashion now-a-days. +No sooner had Sancho caught sight of them than, bellowing like a bull, he +exclaimed, "I might let myself be handled by all the world; but allow +duennas to touch me--not a bit of it! Scratch my face, as my master was +served in this very castle; run me through the body with burnished +daggers; pinch my arms with red-hot pincers; I'll bear all in patience to +serve these gentlefolk; but I won't let duennas touch me, though the +devil should carry me off!" + +Here Don Quixote, too, broke silence, saying to Sancho, "Have patience, +my son, and gratify these noble persons, and give all thanks to heaven +that it has infused such virtue into thy person, that by its sufferings +thou canst disenchant the enchanted and restore to life the dead." + +The duennas were now close to Sancho, and he, having become more +tractable and reasonable, settling himself well in his chair presented +his face and beard to the first, who delivered him a smack very stoutly +laid on, and then made him a low curtsey. + +"Less politeness and less paint, senora duenna," said Sancho; "by God +your hands smell of vinegar-wash." + +In fine, all the duennas smacked him and several others of the household +pinched him; but what he could not stand was being pricked by the pins; +and so, apparently out of patience, he started up out of his chair, and +seizing a lighted torch that stood near him fell upon the duennas and the +whole set of his tormentors, exclaiming, "Begone, ye ministers of hell; +I'm not made of brass not to feel such out-of-the-way tortures." + +At this instant Altisidora, who probably was tired of having been so long +lying on her back, turned on her side; seeing which the bystanders cried +out almost with one voice, "Altisidora is alive! Altisidora lives!" + +Rhadamanthus bade Sancho put away his wrath, as the object they had in +view was now attained. When Don Quixote saw Altisidora move, he went on +his knees to Sancho saying to him, "Now is the time, son of my bowels, +not to call thee my squire, for thee to give thyself some of those lashes +thou art bound to lay on for the disenchantment of Dulcinea. Now, I say, +is the time when the virtue that is in thee is ripe, and endowed with +efficacy to work the good that is looked for from thee." + +To which Sancho made answer, "That's trick upon trick, I think, and not +honey upon pancakes; a nice thing it would be for a whipping to come now, +on the top of pinches, smacks, and pin-proddings! You had better take a +big stone and tie it round my neck, and pitch me into a well; I should +not mind it much, if I'm to be always made the cow of the wedding for the +cure of other people's ailments. Leave me alone; or else by God I'll +fling the whole thing to the dogs, let come what may." + +Altisidora had by this time sat up on the catafalque, and as she did so +the clarions sounded, accompanied by the flutes, and the voices of all +present exclaiming, "Long life to Altisidora! long life to Altisidora!" +The duke and duchess and the kings Minos and Rhadamanthus stood up, and +all, together with Don Quixote and Sancho, advanced to receive her and +take her down from the catafalque; and she, making as though she were +recovering from a swoon, bowed her head to the duke and duchess and to +the kings, and looking sideways at Don Quixote, said to him, "God forgive +thee, insensible knight, for through thy cruelty I have been, to me it +seems, more than a thousand years in the other world; and to thee, the +most compassionate upon earth, I render thanks for the life I am now in +possession of. From this day forth, friend Sancho, count as thine six +smocks of mine which I bestow upon thee, to make as many shirts for +thyself, and if they are not all quite whole, at any rate they are all +clean." + +Sancho kissed her hands in gratitude, kneeling, and with the mitre in his +hand. The duke bade them take it from him, and give him back his cap and +doublet and remove the flaming robe. Sancho begged the duke to let them +leave him the robe and mitre; as he wanted to take them home for a token +and memento of that unexampled adventure. The duchess said they must +leave them with him; for he knew already what a great friend of his she +was. The duke then gave orders that the court should be cleared, and that +all should retire to their chambers, and that Don Quixote and Sancho +should be conducted to their old quarters. + +Chapter LXX. - +Which follows sixty-nine and deals with matters indispensable for the +clear comprehension of this history + +Sancho slept that night in a cot in the same chamber with Don Quixote, a +thing he would have gladly excused if he could for he knew very well that +with questions and answers his master would not let him sleep, and he was +in no humour for talking much, as he still felt the pain of his late +martyrdom, which interfered with his freedom of speech; and it would have +been more to his taste to sleep in a hovel alone, than in that luxurious +chamber in company. And so well founded did his apprehension prove, and +so correct was his anticipation, that scarcely had his master got into +bed when he said, "What dost thou think of tonight's adventure, Sancho? +Great and mighty is the power of cold-hearted scorn, for thou with thine +own eyes hast seen Altisidora slain, not by arrows, nor by the sword, nor +by any warlike weapon, nor by deadly poisons, but by the thought of the +sternness and scorn with which I have always treated her." + +"She might have died and welcome," said Sancho, "when she pleased and how +she pleased; and she might have left me alone, for I never made her fall +in love or scorned her. I don't know nor can I imagine how the recovery +of Altisidora, a damsel more fanciful than wise, can have, as I have said +before, anything to do with the sufferings of Sancho Panza. Now I begin +to see plainly and clearly that there are enchanters and enchanted people +in the world; and may God deliver me from them, since I can't deliver +myself; and so I beg of your worship to let me sleep and not ask me any +more questions, unless you want me to throw myself out of the window." + +"Sleep, Sancho my friend," said Don Quixote, "if the pinprodding and +pinches thou hast received and the smacks administered to thee will let +thee." + +"No pain came up to the insult of the smacks," said Sancho, "for the +simple reason that it was duennas, confound them, that gave them to me; +but once more I entreat your worship to let me sleep, for sleep is relief +from misery to those who are miserable when awake." + +"Be it so, and God be with thee," said Don Quixote. + +They fell asleep, both of them, and Cide Hamete, the author of this great +history, took this opportunity to record and relate what it was that +induced the duke and duchess to get up the elaborate plot that has been +described. The bachelor Samson Carrasco, he says, not forgetting how he +as the Knight of the Mirrors had been vanquished and overthrown by Don +Quixote, which defeat and overthrow upset all his plans, resolved to try +his hand again, hoping for better luck than he had before; and so, having +learned where Don Quixote was from the page who brought the letter and +present to Sancho's wife, Teresa Panza, he got himself new armour and +another horse, and put a white moon upon his shield, and to carry his +arms he had a mule led by a peasant, not by Tom Cecial his former squire +for fear he should be recognised by Sancho or Don Quixote. He came to the +duke's castle, and the duke informed him of the road and route Don +Quixote had taken with the intention of being present at the jousts at +Saragossa. He told him, too, of the jokes he had practised upon him, and +of the device for the disenchantment of Dulcinea at the expense of +Sancho's backside; and finally he gave him an account of the trick Sancho +had played upon his master, making him believe that Dulcinea was +enchanted and turned into a country wench; and of how the duchess, his +wife, had persuaded Sancho that it was he himself who was deceived, +inasmuch as Dulcinea was really enchanted; at which the bachelor laughed +not a little, and marvelled as well at the sharpness and simplicity of +Sancho as at the length to which Don Quixote's madness went. The duke +begged of him if he found him (whether he overcame him or not) to return +that way and let him know the result. This the bachelor did; he set out +in quest of Don Quixote, and not finding him at Saragossa, he went on, +and how he fared has been already told. He returned to the duke's castle +and told him all, what the conditions of the combat were, and how Don +Quixote was now, like a loyal knight-errant, returning to keep his +promise of retiring to his village for a year, by which time, said the +bachelor, he might perhaps be cured of his madness; for that was the +object that had led him to adopt these disguises, as it was a sad thing +for a gentleman of such good parts as Don Quixote to be a madman. And so +he took his leave of the duke, and went home to his village to wait there +for Don Quixote, who was coming after him. Thereupon the duke seized the +opportunity of practising this mystification upon him; so much did he +enjoy everything connected with Sancho and Don Quixote. He had the roads +about the castle far and near, everywhere he thought Don Quixote was +likely to pass on his return, occupied by large numbers of his servants +on foot and on horseback, who were to bring him to the castle, by fair +means or foul, if they met him. They did meet him, and sent word to the +duke, who, having already settled what was to be done, as soon as he +heard of his arrival, ordered the torches and lamps in the court to be +lit and Altisidora to be placed on the catafalque with all the pomp and +ceremony that has been described, the whole affair being so well arranged +and acted that it differed but little from reality. And Cide Hamete says, +moreover, that for his part he considers the concocters of the joke as +crazy as the victims of it, and that the duke and duchess were not two +fingers' breadth removed from being something like fools themselves when +they took such pains to make game of a pair of fools. + +As for the latter, one was sleeping soundly and the other lying awake +occupied with his desultory thoughts, when daylight came to them bringing +with it the desire to rise; for the lazy down was never a delight to Don +Quixote, victor or vanquished. Altisidora, come back from death to life +as Don Quixote fancied, following up the freak of her lord and lady, +entered the chamber, crowned with the garland she had worn on the +catafalque and in a robe of white taffeta embroidered with gold flowers, +her hair flowing loose over her shoulders, and leaning upon a staff of +fine black ebony. Don Quixote, disconcerted and in confusion at her +appearance, huddled himself up and well-nigh covered himself altogether +with the sheets and counterpane of the bed, tongue-tied, and unable to +offer her any civility. Altisidora seated herself on a chair at the head +of the bed, and, after a deep sigh, said to him in a feeble, soft voice, +"When women of rank and modest maidens trample honour under foot, and +give a loose to the tongue that breaks through every impediment, +publishing abroad the inmost secrets of their hearts, they are reduced to +sore extremities. Such a one am I, Senor Don Quixote of La Mancha, +crushed, conquered, love-smitten, but yet patient under suffering and +virtuous, and so much so that my heart broke with grief and I lost my +life. For the last two days I have been dead, slain by the thought of the +cruelty with which thou hast treated me, obdurate knight, + +O harder thou than marble to my plaint; + +or at least believed to be dead by all who saw me; and had it not been +that Love, taking pity on me, let my recovery rest upon the sufferings of +this good squire, there I should have remained in the other world." + +"Love might very well have let it rest upon the sufferings of my ass, and +I should have been obliged to him," said Sancho. "But tell me, +senora--and may heaven send you a tenderer lover than my master-what did +you see in the other world? What goes on in hell? For of course that's +where one who dies in despair is bound for." + +"To tell you the truth," said Altisidora, "I cannot have died outright, +for I did not go into hell; had I gone in, it is very certain I should +never have come out again, do what I might. The truth is, I came to the +gate, where some dozen or so of devils were playing tennis, all in +breeches and doublets, with falling collars trimmed with Flemish +bonelace, and ruffles of the same that served them for wristbands, with +four fingers' breadth of the arms exposed to make their hands look +longer; in their hands they held rackets of fire; but what amazed me +still more was that books, apparently full of wind and rubbish, served +them for tennis balls, a strange and marvellous thing; this, however, did +not astonish me so much as to observe that, although with players it is +usual for the winners to be glad and the losers sorry, there in that game +all were growling, all were snarling, and all were cursing one another." +"That's no wonder," said Sancho; "for devils, whether playing or not, can +never be content, win or lose." + +"Very likely," said Altisidora; "but there is another thing that +surprises me too, I mean surprised me then, and that was that no ball +outlasted the first throw or was of any use a second time; and it was +wonderful the constant succession there was of books, new and old. To one +of them, a brand-new, well-bound one, they gave such a stroke that they +knocked the guts out of it and scattered the leaves about. 'Look what +book that is,' said one devil to another, and the other replied, 'It is +the "Second Part of the History of Don Quixote of La Mancha," not by Cide +Hamete, the original author, but by an Aragonese who by his own account +is of Tordesillas.' 'Out of this with it,' said the first, 'and into the +depths of hell with it out of my sight.' 'Is it so bad?' said the other. +'So bad is it,' said the first, 'that if I had set myself deliberately to +make a worse, I could not have done it.' They then went on with their +game, knocking other books about; and I, having heard them mention the +name of Don Quixote whom I love and adore so, took care to retain this +vision in my memory." + +"A vision it must have been, no doubt," said Don Quixote, "for there is +no other I in the world; this history has been going about here for some +time from hand to hand, but it does not stay long in any, for everybody +gives it a taste of his foot. I am not disturbed by hearing that I am +wandering in a fantastic shape in the darkness of the pit or in the +daylight above, for I am not the one that history treats of. If it should +be good, faithful, and true, it will have ages of life; but if it should +be bad, from its birth to its burial will not be a very long journey." + +Altisidora was about to proceed with her complaint against Don Quixote, +when he said to her, "I have several times told you, senora that it +grieves me you should have set your affections upon me, as from mine they +can only receive gratitude, but no return. I was born to belong to +Dulcinea del Toboso, and the fates, if there are any, dedicated me to +her; and to suppose that any other beauty can take the place she occupies +in my heart is to suppose an impossibility. This frank declaration should +suffice to make you retire within the bounds of your modesty, for no one +can bind himself to do impossibilities." + +Hearing this, Altisidora, with a show of anger and agitation, exclaimed, +"God's life! Don Stockfish, soul of a mortar, stone of a date, more +obstinate and obdurate than a clown asked a favour when he has his mind +made up, if I fall upon you I'll tear your eyes out! Do you fancy, Don +Vanquished, Don Cudgelled, that I died for your sake? All that you have +seen to-night has been make-believe; I'm not the woman to let the black +of my nail suffer for such a camel, much less die!" + +"That I can well believe," said Sancho; "for all that about lovers pining +to death is absurd; they may talk of it, but as for doing it-Judas may +believe that!" + +While they were talking, the musician, singer, and poet, who had sung the +two stanzas given above came in, and making a profound obeisance to Don +Quixote said, "Will your worship, sir knight, reckon and retain me in the +number of your most faithful servants, for I have long been a great +admirer of yours, as well because of your fame as because of your +achievements?" "Will your worship tell me who you are," replied Don +Quixote, "so that my courtesy may be answerable to your deserts?" The +young man replied that he was the musician and songster of the night +before. "Of a truth," said Don Quixote, "your worship has a most +excellent voice; but what you sang did not seem to me very much to the +purpose; for what have Garcilasso's stanzas to do with the death of this +lady?" + +"Don't be surprised at that," returned the musician; "for with the callow +poets of our day the way is for every one to write as he pleases and +pilfer where he chooses, whether it be germane to the matter or not, and +now-a-days there is no piece of silliness they can sing or write that is +not set down to poetic licence." + +Don Quixote was about to reply, but was prevented by the duke and +duchess, who came in to see him, and with them there followed a long and +delightful conversation, in the course of which Sancho said so many droll +and saucy things that he left the duke and duchess wondering not only at +his simplicity but at his sharpness. Don Quixote begged their permission +to take his departure that same day, inasmuch as for a vanquished knight +like himself it was fitter he should live in a pig-sty than in a royal +palace. They gave it very readily, and the duchess asked him if +Altisidora was in his good graces. + +He replied, "Senora, let me tell your ladyship that this damsel's ailment +comes entirely of idleness, and the cure for it is honest and constant +employment. She herself has told me that lace is worn in hell; and as she +must know how to make it, let it never be out of her hands; for when she +is occupied in shifting the bobbins to and fro, the image or images of +what she loves will not shift to and fro in her thoughts; this is the +truth, this is my opinion, and this is my advice." + +"And mine," added Sancho; "for I never in all my life saw a lace-maker +that died for love; when damsels are at work their minds are more set on +finishing their tasks than on thinking of their loves. I speak from my +own experience; for when I'm digging I never think of my old woman; I +mean my Teresa Panza, whom I love better than my own eyelids." "You say +well, Sancho," said the duchess, "and I will take care that my Altisidora +employs herself henceforward in needlework of some sort; for she is +extremely expert at it." "There is no occasion to have recourse to that +remedy, senora," said Altisidora; "for the mere thought of the cruelty +with which this vagabond villain has treated me will suffice to blot him +out of my memory without any other device; with your highness's leave I +will retire, not to have before my eyes, I won't say his rueful +countenance, but his abominable, ugly looks." "That reminds me of the +common saying, that 'he that rails is ready to forgive,'" said the duke. + +Altisidora then, pretending to wipe away her tears with a handkerchief, +made an obeisance to her master and mistress and quitted the room. + +"Ill luck betide thee, poor damsel," said Sancho, "ill luck betide thee! +Thou hast fallen in with a soul as dry as a rush and a heart as hard as +oak; had it been me, i'faith 'another cock would have crowed to thee.'" + +So the conversation came to an end, and Don Quixote dressed himself and +dined with the duke and duchess, and set out the same evening. + +Chapter LXXI. - +Of what passed between Don Quixote and his Squire Sancho on the way to +their village + +The vanquished and afflicted Don Quixote went along very downcast in one +respect and very happy in another. His sadness arose from his defeat, and +his satisfaction from the thought of the virtue that lay in Sancho, as +had been proved by the resurrection of Altisidora; though it was with +difficulty he could persuade himself that the love-smitten damsel had +been really dead. Sancho went along anything but cheerful, for it grieved +him that Altisidora had not kept her promise of giving him the smocks; +and turning this over in his mind he said to his master, "Surely, senor, +I'm the most unlucky doctor in the world; there's many a physician that, +after killing the sick man he had to cure, requires to be paid for his +work, though it is only signing a bit of a list of medicines, that the +apothecary and not he makes up, and, there, his labour is over; but with +me though to cure somebody else costs me drops of blood, smacks, pinches, +pinproddings, and whippings, nobody gives me a farthing. Well, I swear by +all that's good if they put another patient into my hands, they'll have +to grease them for me before I cure him; for, as they say, 'it's by his +singing the abbot gets his dinner,' and I'm not going to believe that +heaven has bestowed upon me the virtue I have, that I should be dealing +it out to others all for nothing." + +"Thou art right, Sancho my friend," said Don Quixote, "and Altisidora has +behaved very badly in not giving thee the smocks she promised; and +although that virtue of thine is gratis data--as it has cost thee no +study whatever, any more than such study as thy personal sufferings may +be--I can say for myself that if thou wouldst have payment for the lashes +on account of the disenchant of Dulcinea, I would have given it to thee +freely ere this. I am not sure, however, whether payment will comport +with the cure, and I would not have the reward interfere with the +medicine. I think there will be nothing lost by trying it; consider how +much thou wouldst have, Sancho, and whip thyself at once, and pay thyself +down with thine own hand, as thou hast money of mine." + +At this proposal Sancho opened his eyes and his ears a palm's breadth +wide, and in his heart very readily acquiesced in whipping himself, and +said he to his master, "Very well then, senor, I'll hold myself in +readiness to gratify your worship's wishes if I'm to profit by it; for +the love of my wife and children forces me to seem grasping. Let your +worship say how much you will pay me for each lash I give myself." + +"If Sancho," replied Don Quixote, "I were to requite thee as the +importance and nature of the cure deserves, the treasures of Venice, the +mines of Potosi, would be insufficient to pay thee. See what thou hast of +mine, and put a price on each lash." + +"Of them," said Sancho, "there are three thousand three hundred and odd; +of these I have given myself five, the rest remain; let the five go for +the odd ones, and let us take the three thousand three hundred, which at +a quarter real apiece (for I will not take less though the whole world +should bid me) make three thousand three hundred quarter reals; the three +thousand are one thousand five hundred half reals, which make seven +hundred and fifty reals; and the three hundred make a hundred and fifty +half reals, which come to seventy-five reals, which added to the seven +hundred and fifty make eight hundred and twenty-five reals in all. These +I will stop out of what I have belonging to your worship, and I'll return +home rich and content, though well whipped, for 'there's no taking +trout'--but I say no more." + +"O blessed Sancho! O dear Sancho!" said Don Quixote; "how we shall be +bound to serve thee, Dulcinea and I, all the days of our lives that +heaven may grant us! If she returns to her lost shape (and it cannot be +but that she will) her misfortune will have been good fortune, and my +defeat a most happy triumph. But look here, Sancho; when wilt thou begin +the scourging? For if thou wilt make short work of it, I will give thee a +hundred reals over and above." + +"When?" said Sancho; "this night without fail. Let your worship order it +so that we pass it out of doors and in the open air, and I'll scarify +myself." + +Night, longed for by Don Quixote with the greatest anxiety in the world, +came at last, though it seemed to him that the wheels of Apollo's car had +broken down, and that the day was drawing itself out longer than usual, +just as is the case with lovers, who never make the reckoning of their +desires agree with time. They made their way at length in among some +pleasant trees that stood a little distance from the road, and there +vacating Rocinante's saddle and Dapple's pack-saddle, they stretched +themselves on the green grass and made their supper off Sancho's stores, +and he making a powerful and flexible whip out of Dapple's halter and +headstall retreated about twenty paces from his master among some beech +trees. Don Quixote seeing him march off with such resolution and spirit, +said to him, "Take care, my friend, not to cut thyself to pieces; allow +the lashes to wait for one another, and do not be in so great a hurry as +to run thyself out of breath midway; I mean, do not lay on so strenuously +as to make thy life fail thee before thou hast reached the desired +number; and that thou mayest not lose by a card too much or too little, I +will station myself apart and count on my rosary here the lashes thou +givest thyself. May heaven help thee as thy good intention deserves." + +"'Pledges don't distress a good payer,'" said Sancho; "I mean to lay on +in such a way as without killing myself to hurt myself, for in that, no +doubt, lies the essence of this miracle." + +He then stripped himself from the waist upwards, and snatching up the +rope he began to lay on and Don Quixote to count the lashes. He might +have given himself six or eight when he began to think the joke no +trifle, and its price very low; and holding his hand for a moment, he +told his master that he cried off on the score of a blind bargain, for +each of those lashes ought to be paid for at the rate of half a real +instead of a quarter. + +"Go on, Sancho my friend, and be not disheartened," said Don Quixote; +"for I double the stakes as to price." + +"In that case," said Sancho, "in God's hand be it, and let it rain +lashes." But the rogue no longer laid them on his shoulders, but laid on +to the trees, with such groans every now and then, that one would have +thought at each of them his soul was being plucked up by the roots. Don +Quixote, touched to the heart, and fearing he might make an end of +himself, and that through Sancho's imprudence he might miss his own +object, said to him, "As thou livest, my friend, let the matter rest +where it is, for the remedy seems to me a very rough one, and it will be +well to have patience; 'Zamora was not won in an hour.' If I have not +reckoned wrong thou hast given thyself over a thousand lashes; that is +enough for the present; 'for the ass,' to put it in homely phrase, 'bears +the load, but not the overload.'" + +"No, no, senor," replied Sancho; "it shall never be said of me, 'The +money paid, the arms broken;' go back a little further, your worship, and +let me give myself at any rate a thousand lashes more; for in a couple of +bouts like this we shall have finished off the lot, and there will be +even cloth to spare." + +"As thou art in such a willing mood," said Don Quixote, "may heaven aid +thee; lay on and I'll retire." + +Sancho returned to his task with so much resolution that he soon had the +bark stripped off several trees, such was the severity with which he +whipped himself; and one time, raising his voice, and giving a beech a +tremendous lash, he cried out, "Here dies Samson, and all with him!" + +At the sound of his piteous cry and of the stroke of the cruel lash, Don +Quixote ran to him at once, and seizing the twisted halter that served +him for a courbash, said to him, "Heaven forbid, Sancho my friend, that +to please me thou shouldst lose thy life, which is needed for the support +of thy wife and children; let Dulcinea wait for a better opportunity, and +I will content myself with a hope soon to be realised, and have patience +until thou hast gained fresh strength so as to finish off this business +to the satisfaction of everybody." + +"As your worship will have it so, senor," said Sancho, "so be it; but +throw your cloak over my shoulders, for I'm sweating and I don't want to +take cold; it's a risk that novice disciplinants run." + +Don Quixote obeyed, and stripping himself covered Sancho, who slept until +the sun woke him; they then resumed their journey, which for the time +being they brought to an end at a village that lay three leagues farther +on. They dismounted at a hostelry which Don Quixote recognised as such +and did not take to be a castle with moat, turrets, portcullis, and +drawbridge; for ever since he had been vanquished he talked more +rationally about everything, as will be shown presently. They quartered +him in a room on the ground floor, where in place of leather hangings +there were pieces of painted serge such as they commonly use in villages. +On one of them was painted by some very poor hand the Rape of Helen, when +the bold guest carried her off from Menelaus, and on the other was the +story of Dido and AEneas, she on a high tower, as though she were making +signals with a half sheet to her fugitive guest who was out at sea flying +in a frigate or brigantine. He noticed in the two stories that Helen did +not go very reluctantly, for she was laughing slyly and roguishly; but +the fair Dido was shown dropping tears the size of walnuts from her eyes. +Don Quixote as he looked at them observed, "Those two ladies were very +unfortunate not to have been born in this age, and I unfortunate above +all men not to have been born in theirs. Had I fallen in with those +gentlemen, Troy would not have been burned or Carthage destroyed, for it +would have been only for me to slay Paris, and all these misfortunes +would have been avoided." + +"I'll lay a bet," said Sancho, "that before long there won't be a tavern, +roadside inn, hostelry, or barber's shop where the story of our doings +won't be painted up; but I'd like it painted by the hand of a better +painter than painted these." + +"Thou art right, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "for this painter is like +Orbaneja, a painter there was at Ubeda, who when they asked him what he +was painting, used to say, 'Whatever it may turn out; and if he chanced +to paint a cock he would write under it, 'This is a cock,' for fear they +might think it was a fox. The painter or writer, for it's all the same, +who published the history of this new Don Quixote that has come out, must +have been one of this sort I think, Sancho, for he painted or wrote +'whatever it might turn out;' or perhaps he is like a poet called Mauleon +that was about the Court some years ago, who used to answer at haphazard +whatever he was asked, and on one asking him what Deum de Deo meant, he +replied De donde diere. But, putting this aside, tell me, Sancho, hast +thou a mind to have another turn at thyself to-night, and wouldst thou +rather have it indoors or in the open air?" + +"Egad, senor," said Sancho, "for what I'm going to give myself, it comes +all the same to me whether it is in a house or in the fields; still I'd +like it to be among trees; for I think they are company for me and help +me to bear my pain wonderfully." + +"And yet it must not be, Sancho my friend," said Don Quixote; "but, to +enable thee to recover strength, we must keep it for our own village; for +at the latest we shall get there the day after tomorrow." + +Sancho said he might do as he pleased; but that for his own part he would +like to finish off the business quickly before his blood cooled and while +he had an appetite, because "in delay there is apt to be danger" very +often, and "praying to God and plying the hammer," and "one take was +better than two I'll give thee's," and "a sparrow in the hand than a +vulture on the wing." + +"For God's sake, Sancho, no more proverbs!" exclaimed Don Quixote; "it +seems to me thou art becoming sicut erat again; speak in a plain, simple, +straight-forward way, as I have often told thee, and thou wilt find the +good of it." + +"I don't know what bad luck it is of mine," argument to my mind; however, +I mean to mend said Sancho, "but I can't utter a word without a proverb +that is not as good as an argument to my mind; however, I mean to mend if +I can;" and so for the present the conversation ended. + +Chapter LXXII. - +Of how Don Quixote and Sancho reached their village + +All that day Don Quixote and Sancho remained in the village and inn +waiting for night, the one to finish off his task of scourging in the +open country, the other to see it accomplished, for therein lay the +accomplishment of his wishes. Meanwhile there arrived at the hostelry a +traveller on horseback with three or four servants, one of whom said to +him who appeared to be the master, "Here, Senor Don Alvaro Tarfe, your +worship may take your siesta to-day; the quarters seem clean and cool." + +When he heard this Don Quixote said to Sancho, "Look here, Sancho; on +turning over the leaves of that book of the Second Part of my history I +think I came casually upon this name of Don Alvaro Tarfe." + +"Very likely," said Sancho; "we had better let him dismount, and +by-and-by we can ask about it." + +The gentleman dismounted, and the landlady gave him a room on the ground +floor opposite Don Quixote's and adorned with painted serge hangings of +the same sort. The newly arrived gentleman put on a summer coat, and +coming out to the gateway of the hostelry, which was wide and cool, +addressing Don Quixote, who was pacing up and down there, he asked, "In +what direction your worship bound, gentle sir?" + +"To a village near this which is my own village," replied Don Quixote; +"and your worship, where are you bound for?" + +"I am going to Granada, senor," said the gentleman, "to my own country." + +"And a goodly country," said Don Quixote; "but will your worship do me +the favour of telling me your name, for it strikes me it is of more +importance to me to know it than I can tell you." + +"My name is Don Alvaro Tarfe," replied the traveller. + +To which Don Quixote returned, "I have no doubt whatever that your +worship is that Don Alvaro Tarfe who appears in print in the Second Part +of the history of Don Quixote of La Mancha, lately printed and published +by a new author." + +"I am the same," replied the gentleman; "and that same Don Quixote, the +principal personage in the said history, was a very great friend of mine, +and it was I who took him away from home, or at least induced him to come +to some jousts that were to be held at Saragossa, whither I was going +myself; indeed, I showed him many kindnesses, and saved him from having +his shoulders touched up by the executioner because of his extreme +rashness." + +"Tell me, Senor Don Alvaro," said Don Quixote, "am I at all like that Don +Quixote you talk of?" + +"No indeed," replied the traveller, "not a bit." + +"And that Don Quixote-" said our one, "had he with him a squire called +Sancho Panza?" + +"He had," said Don Alvaro; "but though he had the name of being very +droll, I never heard him say anything that had any drollery in it." + +"That I can well believe," said Sancho at this, "for to come out with +drolleries is not in everybody's line; and that Sancho your worship +speaks of, gentle sir, must be some great scoundrel, dunderhead, and +thief, all in one; for I am the real Sancho Panza, and I have more +drolleries than if it rained them; let your worship only try; come along +with me for a year or so, and you will find they fall from me at every +turn, and so rich and so plentiful that though mostly I don't know what I +am saying I make everybody that hears me laugh. And the real Don Quixote +of La Mancha, the famous, the valiant, the wise, the lover, the righter +of wrongs, the guardian of minors and orphans, the protector of widows, +the killer of damsels, he who has for his sole mistress the peerless +Dulcinea del Toboso, is this gentleman before you, my master; all other +Don Quixotes and all other Sancho Panzas are dreams and mockeries." + +"By God I believe it," said Don Alvaro; "for you have uttered more +drolleries, my friend, in the few words you have spoken than the other +Sancho Panza in all I ever heard from him, and they were not a few. He +was more greedy than well-spoken, and more dull than droll; and I am +convinced that the enchanters who persecute Don Quixote the Good have +been trying to persecute me with Don Quixote the Bad. But I don't know +what to say, for I am ready to swear I left him shut up in the Casa del +Nuncio at Toledo, and here another Don Quixote turns up, though a very +different one from mine." + +"I don't know whether I am good," said Don Quixote, "but I can safely say +I am not 'the Bad;' and to prove it, let me tell you, Senor Don Alvaro +Tarfe, I have never in my life been in Saragossa; so far from that, when +it was told me that this imaginary Don Quixote had been present at the +jousts in that city, I declined to enter it, in order to drag his +falsehood before the face of the world; and so I went on straight to +Barcelona, the treasure-house of courtesy, haven of strangers, asylum of +the poor, home of the valiant, champion of the wronged, pleasant exchange +of firm friendships, and city unrivalled in site and beauty. And though +the adventures that befell me there are not by any means matters of +enjoyment, but rather of regret, I do not regret them, simply because I +have seen it. In a word, Senor Don Alvaro Tarfe, I am Don Quixote of La +Mancha, the one that fame speaks of, and not the unlucky one that has +attempted to usurp my name and deck himself out in my ideas. I entreat +your worship by your devoir as a gentleman to be so good as to make a +declaration before the alcalde of this village that you never in all your +life saw me until now, and that neither am I the Don Quixote in print in +the Second Part, nor this Sancho Panza, my squire, the one your worship +knew." + +"That I will do most willingly," replied Don Alvaro; "though it amazes me +to find two Don Quixotes and two Sancho Panzas at once, as much alike in +name as they differ in demeanour; and again I say and declare that what I +saw I cannot have seen, and that what happened me cannot have happened." + +"No doubt your worship is enchanted, like my lady Dulcinea del Toboso," +said Sancho; "and would to heaven your disenchantment rested on my giving +myself another three thousand and odd lashes like what I'm giving myself +for her, for I'd lay them on without looking for anything." + +"I don't understand that about the lashes," said Don Alvaro. Sancho +replied that it was a long story to tell, but he would tell him if they +happened to be going the same road. + +By this dinner-time arrived, and Don Quixote and Don Alvaro dined +together. The alcalde of the village came by chance into the inn together +with a notary, and Don Quixote laid a petition before him, showing that +it was requisite for his rights that Don Alvaro Tarfe, the gentleman +there present, should make a declaration before him that he did not know +Don Quixote of La Mancha, also there present, and that he was not the one +that was in print in a history entitled "Second Part of Don Quixote of La +Mancha, by one Avellaneda of Tordesillas." The alcalde finally put it in +legal form, and the declaration was made with all the formalities +required in such cases, at which Don Quixote and Sancho were in high +delight, as if a declaration of the sort was of any great importance to +them, and as if their words and deeds did not plainly show the difference +between the two Don Quixotes and the two Sanchos. Many civilities and +offers of service were exchanged by Don Alvaro and Don Quixote, in the +course of which the great Manchegan displayed such good taste that he +disabused Don Alvaro of the error he was under; and he, on his part, felt +convinced he must have been enchanted, now that he had been brought in +contact with two such opposite Don Quixotes. + +Evening came, they set out from the village, and after about half a +league two roads branched off, one leading to Don Quixote's village, the +other the road Don Alvaro was to follow. In this short interval Don +Quixote told him of his unfortunate defeat, and of Dulcinea's enchantment +and the remedy, all which threw Don Alvaro into fresh amazement, and +embracing Don Quixote and Sancho he went his way, and Don Quixote went +his. That night he passed among trees again in order to give Sancho an +opportunity of working out his penance, which he did in the same fashion +as the night before, at the expense of the bark of the beech trees much +more than of his back, of which he took such good care that the lashes +would not have knocked off a fly had there been one there. The duped Don +Quixote did not miss a single stroke of the count, and he found that +together with those of the night before they made up three thousand and +twenty-nine. The sun apparently had got up early to witness the +sacrifice, and with his light they resumed their journey, discussing the +deception practised on Don Alvaro, and saying how well done it was to +have taken his declaration before a magistrate in such an unimpeachable +form. That day and night they travelled on, nor did anything worth +mention happen them, unless it was that in the course of the night Sancho +finished off his task, whereat Don Quixote was beyond measure joyful. He +watched for daylight, to see if along the road he should fall in with his +already disenchanted lady Dulcinea; and as he pursued his journey there +was no woman he met that he did not go up to, to see if she was Dulcinea +del Toboso, as he held it absolutely certain that Merlin's promises could +not lie. Full of these thoughts and anxieties, they ascended a rising +ground wherefrom they descried their own village, at the sight of which +Sancho fell on his knees exclaiming, "Open thine eyes, longed-for home, +and see how thy son Sancho Panza comes back to thee, if not very rich, +very well whipped! Open thine arms and receive, too, thy son Don Quixote, +who, if he comes vanquished by the arm of another, comes victor over +himself, which, as he himself has told me, is the greatest victory anyone +can desire. I'm bringing back money, for if I was well whipped, I went +mounted like a gentleman." + +"Have done with these fooleries," said Don Quixote; "let us push on +straight and get to our own place, where we will give free range to our +fancies, and settle our plans for our future pastoral life." + +With this they descended the slope and directed their steps to their +village. + +Chapter LXXIII. - +Of the omens Don Quixote had as he entered his own village, and other +incidents that embellish and give a colour to this great history + +At the entrance of the village, so says Cide Hamete, Don Quixote saw two +boys quarrelling on the village threshing-floor one of whom said to the +other, "Take it easy, Periquillo; thou shalt never see it again as long +as thou livest." + +Don Quixote heard this, and said he to Sancho, "Dost thou not mark, +friend, what that boy said, 'Thou shalt never see it again as long as +thou livest'?" + +"Well," said Sancho, "what does it matter if the boy said so?" + +"What!" said Don Quixote, "dost thou not see that, applied to the object +of my desires, the words mean that I am never to see Dulcinea more?" + +Sancho was about to answer, when his attention was diverted by seeing a +hare come flying across the plain pursued by several greyhounds and +sportsmen. In its terror it ran to take shelter and hide itself under +Dapple. Sancho caught it alive and presented it to Don Quixote, who was +saying, "Malum signum, malum signum! a hare flies, greyhounds chase it, +Dulcinea appears not." + +"Your worship's a strange man," said Sancho; "let's take it for granted +that this hare is Dulcinea, and these greyhounds chasing it the malignant +enchanters who turned her into a country wench; she flies, and I catch +her and put her into your worship's hands, and you hold her in your arms +and cherish her; what bad sign is that, or what ill omen is there to be +found here?" + +The two boys who had been quarrelling came over to look at the hare, and +Sancho asked one of them what their quarrel was about. He was answered by +the one who had said, "Thou shalt never see it again as long as thou +livest," that he had taken a cage full of crickets from the other boy, +and did not mean to give it back to him as long as he lived. Sancho took +out four cuartos from his pocket and gave them to the boy for the cage, +which he placed in Don Quixote's hands, saying, "There, senor! there are +the omens broken and destroyed, and they have no more to do with our +affairs, to my thinking, fool as I am, than with last year's clouds; and +if I remember rightly I have heard the curate of our village say that it +does not become Christians or sensible people to give any heed to these +silly things; and even you yourself said the same to me some time ago, +telling me that all Christians who minded omens were fools; but there's +no need of making words about it; let us push on and go into our +village." + +The sportsmen came up and asked for their hare, which Don Quixote gave +them. They then went on, and upon the green at the entrance of the town +they came upon the curate and the bachelor Samson Carrasco busy with +their breviaries. It should be mentioned that Sancho had thrown, by way +of a sumpter-cloth, over Dapple and over the bundle of armour, the +buckram robe painted with flames which they had put upon him at the +duke's castle the night Altisidora came back to life. He had also fixed +the mitre on Dapple's head, the oddest transformation and decoration that +ever ass in the world underwent. They were at once recognised by both the +curate and the bachelor, who came towards them with open arms. Don +Quixote dismounted and received them with a close embrace; and the boys, +who are lynxes that nothing escapes, spied out the ass's mitre and came +running to see it, calling out to one another, "Come here, boys, and see +Sancho Panza's ass figged out finer than Mingo, and Don Quixote's beast +leaner than ever." + +So at length, with the boys capering round them, and accompanied by the +curate and the bachelor, they made their entrance into the town, and +proceeded to Don Quixote's house, at the door of which they found his +housekeeper and niece, whom the news of his arrival had already reached. +It had been brought to Teresa Panza, Sancho's wife, as well, and she with +her hair all loose and half naked, dragging Sanchica her daughter by the +hand, ran out to meet her husband; but seeing him coming in by no means +as good case as she thought a governor ought to be, she said to him, "How +is it you come this way, husband? It seems to me you come tramping and +footsore, and looking more like a disorderly vagabond than a governor." + +"Hold your tongue, Teresa," said Sancho; "often 'where there are pegs +there are no flitches;' let's go into the house and there you'll hear +strange things. I bring money, and that's the main thing, got by my own +industry without wronging anybody." + +"You bring the money, my good husband," said Teresa, "and no matter +whether it was got this way or that; for, however you may have got it, +you'll not have brought any new practice into the world." + +Sanchica embraced her father and asked him if he brought her anything, +for she had been looking out for him as for the showers of May; and she +taking hold of him by the girdle on one side, and his wife by the hand, +while the daughter led Dapple, they made for their house, leaving Don +Quixote in his, in the hands of his niece and housekeeper, and in the +company of the curate and the bachelor. + +Don Quixote at once, without any regard to time or season, withdrew in +private with the bachelor and the curate, and in a few words told them of +his defeat, and of the engagement he was under not to quit his village +for a year, which he meant to keep to the letter without departing a +hair's breadth from it, as became a knight-errant bound by scrupulous +good faith and the laws of knight-errantry; and of how he thought of +turning shepherd for that year, and taking his diversion in the solitude +of the fields, where he could with perfect freedom give range to his +thoughts of love while he followed the virtuous pastoral calling; and he +besought them, if they had not a great deal to do and were not prevented +by more important business, to consent to be his companions, for he would +buy sheep enough to qualify them for shepherds; and the most important +point of the whole affair, he could tell them, was settled, for he had +given them names that would fit them to a T. The curate asked what they +were. Don Quixote replied that he himself was to be called the shepherd +Quixotize and the bachelor the shepherd Carrascon, and the curate the +shepherd Curambro, and Sancho Panza the shepherd Pancino. + +Both were astounded at Don Quixote's new craze; however, lest he should +once more make off out of the village from them in pursuit of his +chivalry, they trusting that in the course of the year he might be cured, +fell in with his new project, applauded his crazy idea as a bright one, +and offered to share the life with him. "And what's more," said Samson +Carrasco, "I am, as all the world knows, a very famous poet, and I'll be +always making verses, pastoral, or courtly, or as it may come into my +head, to pass away our time in those secluded regions where we shall be +roaming. But what is most needful, sirs, is that each of us should choose +the name of the shepherdess he means to glorify in his verses, and that +we should not leave a tree, be it ever so hard, without writing up and +carving her name on it, as is the habit and custom of love-smitten +shepherds." + +"That's the very thing," said Don Quixote; "though I am relieved from +looking for the name of an imaginary shepherdess, for there's the +peerless Dulcinea del Toboso, the glory of these brooksides, the ornament +of these meadows, the mainstay of beauty, the cream of all the graces, +and, in a word, the being to whom all praise is appropriate, be it ever +so hyperbolical." + +"Very true," said the curate; "but we the others must look about for +accommodating shepherdesses that will answer our purpose one way or +another." + +"And," added Samson Carrasco, "if they fail us, we can call them by the +names of the ones in print that the world is filled with, Filidas, +Amarilises, Dianas, Fleridas, Galateas, Belisardas; for as they sell them +in the market-places we may fairly buy them and make them our own. If my +lady, or I should say my shepherdess, happens to be called Ana, I'll sing +her praises under the name of Anarda, and if Francisca, I'll call her +Francenia, and if Lucia, Lucinda, for it all comes to the same thing; and +Sancho Panza, if he joins this fraternity, may glorify his wife Teresa +Panza as Teresaina." + +Don Quixote laughed at the adaptation of the name, and the curate +bestowed vast praise upon the worthy and honourable resolution he had +made, and again offered to bear him company all the time that he could +spare from his imperative duties. And so they took their leave of him, +recommending and beseeching him to take care of his health and treat +himself to a suitable diet. + +It so happened his niece and the housekeeper overheard all the three of +them said; and as soon as they were gone they both of them came in to Don +Quixote, and said the niece, "What's this, uncle? Now that we were +thinking you had come back to stay at home and lead a quiet respectable +life there, are you going to get into fresh entanglements, and turn +'young shepherd, thou that comest here, young shepherd going there?' Nay! +indeed 'the straw is too hard now to make pipes of.'" + +"And," added the housekeeper, "will your worship be able to bear, out in +the fields, the heats of summer, and the chills of winter, and the +howling of the wolves? Not you; for that's a life and a business for +hardy men, bred and seasoned to such work almost from the time they were +in swaddling-clothes. Why, to make choice of evils, it's better to be a +knight-errant than a shepherd! Look here, senor; take my advice--and I'm +not giving it to you full of bread and wine, but fasting, and with fifty +years upon my head--stay at home, look after your affairs, go often to +confession, be good to the poor, and upon my soul be it if any evil comes +to you." + +"Hold your peace, my daughters," said Don Quixote; "I know very well what +my duty is; help me to bed, for I don't feel very well; and rest assured +that, knight-errant now or wandering shepherd to be, I shall never fail +to have a care for your interests, as you will see in the end." And the +good wenches (for that they undoubtedly were), the housekeeper and niece, +helped him to bed, where they gave him something to eat and made him as +comfortable as possible. + +Chapter LXXIV. - +Of how Don Quixote fell sick, and of the will he made, and how he died + +As nothing that is man's can last for ever, but all tends ever downwards +from its beginning to its end, and above all man's life, and as Don +Quixote's enjoyed no special dispensation from heaven to stay its course, +its end and close came when he least looked for it. For-whether it was of +the dejection the thought of his defeat produced, or of heaven's will +that so ordered it--a fever settled upon him and kept him in his bed for +six days, during which he was often visited by his friends the curate, +the bachelor, and the barber, while his good squire Sancho Panza never +quitted his bedside. They, persuaded that it was grief at finding himself +vanquished, and the object of his heart, the liberation and +disenchantment of Dulcinea, unattained, that kept him in this state, +strove by all the means in their power to cheer him up; the bachelor +bidding him take heart and get up to begin his pastoral life, for which +he himself, he said, had already composed an eclogue that would take the +shine out of all Sannazaro had ever written, and had bought with his own +money two famous dogs to guard the flock, one called Barcino and the +other Butron, which a herdsman of Quintanar had sold him. + +But for all this Don Quixote could not shake off his sadness. His friends +called in the doctor, who felt his pulse and was not very well satisfied +with it, and said that in any case it would be well for him to attend to +the health of his soul, as that of his body was in a bad way. Don Quixote +heard this calmly; but not so his housekeeper, his niece, and his squire, +who fell weeping bitterly, as if they had him lying dead before them. The +doctor's opinion was that melancholy and depression were bringing him to +his end. Don Quixote begged them to leave him to himself, as he had a +wish to sleep a little. They obeyed, and he slept at one stretch, as the +saying is, more than six hours, so that the housekeeper and niece thought +he was going to sleep for ever. But at the end of that time he woke up, +and in a loud voice exclaimed, "Blessed be Almighty God, who has shown me +such goodness. In truth his mercies are boundless, and the sins of men +can neither limit them nor keep them back!" + +The niece listened with attention to her uncle's words, and they struck +her as more coherent than what usually fell from him, at least during his +illness, so she asked, "What are you saying, senor? Has anything strange +occurred? What mercies or what sins of men are you talking of?" + +"The mercies, niece," said Don Quixote, "are those that God has this +moment shown me, and with him, as I said, my sins are no impediment to +them. My reason is now free and clear, rid of the dark shadows of +ignorance that my unhappy constant study of those detestable books of +chivalry cast over it. Now I see through their absurdities and +deceptions, and it only grieves me that this destruction of my illusions +has come so late that it leaves me no time to make some amends by reading +other books that might be a light to my soul. Niece, I feel myself at the +point of death, and I would fain meet it in such a way as to show that my +life has not been so ill that I should leave behind me the name of a +madman; for though I have been one, I would not that the fact should be +made plainer at my death. Call in to me, my dear, my good friends the +curate, the bachelor Samson Carrasco, and Master Nicholas the barber, for +I wish to confess and make my will." But his niece was saved the trouble +by the entrance of the three. The instant Don Quixote saw them he +exclaimed, "Good news for you, good sirs, that I am no longer Don Quixote +of La Mancha, but Alonso Quixano, whose way of life won for him the name +of Good. Now am I the enemy of Amadis of Gaul and of the whole countless +troop of his descendants; odious to me now are all the profane stories of +knight-errantry; now I perceive my folly, and the peril into which +reading them brought me; now, by God's mercy schooled into my right +senses, I loathe them." + +When the three heard him speak in this way, they had no doubt whatever +that some new craze had taken possession of him; and said Samson, "What? +Senor Don Quixote! Now that we have intelligence of the lady Dulcinea +being disenchanted, are you taking this line; now, just as we are on the +point of becoming shepherds, to pass our lives singing, like princes, are +you thinking of turning hermit? Hush, for heaven's sake, be rational and +let's have no more nonsense." + +"All that nonsense," said Don Quixote, "that until now has been a reality +to my hurt, my death will, with heaven's help, turn to my good. I feel, +sirs, that I am rapidly drawing near death; a truce to jesting; let me +have a confessor to confess me, and a notary to make my will; for in +extremities like this, man must not trifle with his soul; and while the +curate is confessing me let some one, I beg, go for the notary." + +They looked at one another, wondering at Don Quixote's words; but, though +uncertain, they were inclined to believe him, and one of the signs by +which they came to the conclusion he was dying was this so sudden and +complete return to his senses after having been mad; for to the words +already quoted he added much more, so well expressed, so devout, and so +rational, as to banish all doubt and convince them that he was sound of +mind. The curate turned them all out, and left alone with him confessed +him. The bachelor went for the notary and returned shortly afterwards +with him and with Sancho, who, having already learned from the bachelor +the condition his master was in, and finding the housekeeper and niece +weeping, began to blubber and shed tears. + +The confession over, the curate came out saying, "Alonso Quixano the Good +is indeed dying, and is indeed in his right mind; we may now go in to him +while he makes his will." + +This news gave a tremendous impulse to the brimming eyes of the +housekeeper, niece, and Sancho Panza his good squire, making the tears +burst from their eyes and a host of sighs from their hearts; for of a +truth, as has been said more than once, whether as plain Alonso Quixano +the Good, or as Don Quixote of La Mancha, Don Quixote was always of a +gentle disposition and kindly in all his ways, and hence he was beloved, +not only by those of his own house, but by all who knew him. + +The notary came in with the rest, and as soon as the preamble of the had +been set out and Don Quixote had commended his soul to God with all the +devout formalities that are usual, coming to the bequests, he said, +"Item, it is my will that, touching certain moneys in the hands of Sancho +Panza (whom in my madness I made my squire), inasmuch as between him and +me there have been certain accounts and debits and credits, no claim be +made against him, nor any account demanded of him in respect of them; but +that if anything remain over and above, after he has paid himself what I +owe him, the balance, which will be but little, shall be his, and much +good may it do him; and if, as when I was mad I had a share in giving him +the government of an island, so, now that I am in my senses, I could give +him that of a kingdom, it should be his, for the simplicity of his +character and the fidelity of his conduct deserve it." And then, turning +to Sancho, he said, "Forgive me, my friend, that I led thee to seem as +mad as myself, making thee fall into the same error I myself fell into, +that there were and still are knights-errant in the world." + +"Ah!" said Sancho weeping, "don't die, master, but take my advice and +live many years; for the foolishest thing a man can do in this life is to +let himself die without rhyme or reason, without anybody killing him, or +any hands but melancholy's making an end of him. Come, don't be lazy, but +get up from your bed and let us take to the fields in shepherd's trim as +we agreed. Perhaps behind some bush we shall find the lady Dulcinea +disenchanted, as fine as fine can be. If it be that you are dying of +vexation at having been vanquished, lay the blame on me, and say you were +overthrown because I had girthed Rocinante badly; besides you must have +seen in your books of chivalry that it is a common thing for knights to +upset one another, and for him who is conquered to-day to be conqueror +tomorrow." + +"Very true," said Samson, "and good Sancho Panza's view of these cases is +quite right." + +"Sirs, not so fast," said Don Quixote, "'in last year's nests there are +no birds this year.' I was mad, now I am in my senses; I was Don Quixote +of La Mancha, I am now, as I said, Alonso Quixano the Good; and may my +repentance and sincerity restore me to the esteem you used to have for +me; and now let Master Notary proceed. + +"Item, I leave all my property absolutely to Antonia Quixana my niece, +here present, after all has been deducted from the most available portion +of it that may be required to satisfy the bequests I have made. And the +first disbursement I desire to be made is the payment of the wages I owe +for the time my housekeeper has served me, with twenty ducats, over and +above, for a gown. The curate and the bachelor Samson Carrasco, now +present, I appoint my executors. + +"Item, it is my wish that if Antonia Quixana, my niece, desires to marry, +she shall marry a man of whom it shall be first of all ascertained by +information taken that he does not know what books of chivalry are; and +if it should be proved that he does, and if, in spite of this, my niece +insists upon marrying him, and does marry him, then that she shall +forfeit the whole of what I have left her, which my executors shall +devote to works of charity as they please. + +"Item, I entreat the aforesaid gentlemen my executors, that, if any happy +chance should lead them to discover the author who is said to have +written a history now going about under the title of 'Second Part of the +Achievements of Don Quixote of La Mancha,' they beg of him on my behalf +as earnestly as they can to forgive me for having been, without intending +it, the cause of his writing so many and such monstrous absurdities as he +has written in it; for I am leaving the world with a feeling of +compunction at having provoked him to write them." + +With this he closed his will, and a faintness coming over him he +stretched himself out at full length on the bed. All were in a flutter +and made haste to relieve him, and during the three days he lived after +that on which he made his will he fainted away very often. The house was +all in confusion; but still the niece ate and the housekeeper drank and +Sancho Panza enjoyed himself; for inheriting property wipes out or +softens down in the heir the feeling of grief the dead man might be +expected to leave behind him. + +At last Don Quixote's end came, after he had received all the sacraments, +and had in full and forcible terms expressed his detestation of books of +chivalry. The notary was there at the time, and he said that in no book +of chivalry had he ever read of any knight-errant dying in his bed so +calmly and so like a Christian as Don Quixote, who amid the tears and +lamentations of all present yielded up his spirit, that is to say died. +On perceiving it the curate begged the notary to bear witness that Alonso +Quixano the Good, commonly called Don Quixote of La Mancha, had passed +away from this present life, and died naturally; and said he desired this +testimony in order to remove the possibility of any other author save +Cide Hamete Benengeli bringing him to life again falsely and making +interminable stories out of his achievements. + +Such was the end of the Ingenious Gentleman of La Mancha, whose village +Cide Hamete would not indicate precisely, in order to leave all the towns +and villages of La Mancha to contend among themselves for the right to +adopt him and claim him as a son, as the seven cities of Greece contended +for Homer. The lamentations of Sancho and the niece and housekeeper are +omitted here, as well as the new epitaphs upon his tomb; Samson Carrasco, +however, put the following lines: + +poem{ + +A doughty gentleman lies here; +A stranger all his life to fear; +Nor in his death could Death prevail, +In that last hour, to make him quail. +He for the world but little cared; +And at his feats the world was scared; +A crazy man his life he passed, +But in his senses died at last. + +}poem + +And said most sage Cide Hamete to his pen, "Rest here, hung up by this +brass wire, upon this shelf, O my pen, whether of skilful make or clumsy +cut I know not; here shalt thou remain long ages hence, unless +presumptuous or malignant story-tellers take thee down to profane thee. +But ere they touch thee warn them, and, as best thou canst, say to them: + +poem{ + +Hold off! ye weaklings; hold your hands! + Adventure it let none, +For this emprise, my lord the king, + Was meant for me alone. + +}poem + +For me alone was Don Quixote born, and I for him; it was his to act, mine +to write; we two together make but one, notwithstanding and in spite of +that pretended Tordesillesque writer who has ventured or would venture +with his great, coarse, ill-trimmed ostrich quill to write the +achievements of my valiant knight;--no burden for his shoulders, nor +subject for his frozen wit: whom, if perchance thou shouldst come to know +him, thou shalt warn to leave at rest where they lie the weary mouldering +bones of Don Quixote, and not to attempt to carry him off, in opposition +to all the privileges of death, to Old Castile, making him rise from the +grave where in reality and truth he lies stretched at full length, +powerless to make any third expedition or new sally; for the two that he +has already made, so much to the enjoyment and approval of everybody to +whom they have become known, in this as well as in foreign countries, are +quite sufficient for the purpose of turning into ridicule the whole of +those made by the whole set of the knights-errant; and so doing shalt +thou discharge thy Christian calling, giving good counsel to one that +bears ill-will to thee. And I shall remain satisfied, and proud to have +been the first who has ever enjoyed the fruit of his writings as fully as +he could desire; for my desire has been no other than to deliver over to +the detestation of mankind the false and foolish tales of the books of +chivalry, which, thanks to that of my true Don Quixote, are even now +tottering, and doubtless doomed to fall for ever. Farewell." + +% THE END |